When I was 6 my mom brought my uncle to live with us he was 16 at the time , both my parents treated him like a son, after a few months he started hanging out with bad people, doing drugs, and even got involved in robbery’s. He started treating me different I no longer felt safe around him he would touch me and talk to me very inappropriate I felt to dirty, he would tell me that I couldn’t tell my mom because she wouldn’t believe me and I would get in trouble. I am now 22 , I found a way to live with it even though I can’t forget . He is in prison now serving a life sentence ( not for what he did to me) I have never told anyone about this . even though he is locked up I still don’t feel at peace . Everyone in my family loves him and I don’t know how I could ever tell them especially my mom she loves her brother so much it would destroy her. He has recently been asking my family to write to him and send him pictures. My mom told me to write him a letter and send him a picture of my daughter and husband so he could see them .The day she told me that I became nauseous. Since then I can’t stop getting flashbacks . It’s like I’m going through it all over again. I’m so afraid of hurting my family because we are all really close . What do I do ? Should I just keep it to myself since it’s been so long ?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can I talk to my family about my abuse? - Mamas Uncut
Write him a letter demanding an apology and that he come clean about what he did to you or you’ll tell everyone, including a lawyer. (obviously do not send a picture of your child).
Talk it out with a counselor 
Have u tried writing a letter to him about what he did to you say how u feel u dont even have to send it to him you can write it down how u feel and rip it up or burn it i did something like this for my dad issues with him
Or have talked to a counselor about these issues? Im not sure because your family loges and cares for him it woukd even be helpful now to tell them i think for you just need to heal yourself has nothing to do with your family
If u ever need to talk message me
My first thing that came to mind is… Get help… Talk to someone… eventually get your mother to go to a session with you. Hopefully they work out. 
Talk to your husband first.
As someone who has been through childhood rape, please speak up. I know it’s very difficult, and it may feel as if it puts you in a bind (fear of effecting your family negatively), but you matter. And he’s a fucking monster. Also, I highly suggest professional consultation, for your own mental health.
I would honestly just seek therapy for now. Work through what you need to and talk to the therapist about the best way to talk to you mom about it.
I’m still trying to figure out how to tell my family about my abuse
My grandpa molested me as a kid and he served no jail time. His son molested me after all of it came out about his dad. I’m 31 years old and he was finally caught and turned in for abusing another child. Another child came forward after the first one. I finally come forward and so has my aunt. Although I do not speak with my family, we warned them a few years ago. They did not listen. It’s never too late to go and get your justice. Although my aunt cannot file a civil suit, we are going to testify his trial. It’s very hard and she had to come out and tell her mom about it as well for what happened as a child. I’m sorry this happened to you, but it’s kind of on your own time and how you choose to do it.
We need to stop protecting abusers. Tell whoever you feel comfortable with. Other family members might have been victims too.
I am so sorry this happened to you. You need someone in your corner, to help you navigate your way. I’d seek counselling if I were you. I feel your parents should be told. Your councellor can help you with that, in office when you are ready Please, don’t keep it locked inside any longer.
Naw tell your family. You’ll never get passed unless you can voice your truth. Atleast your mom. I was self destructive all the way into adulthood until I started facing it, and that didn’t start until I told my mom the truth.
Write him a letter, letting him know that you haven’t forgotten what he did to you! I have been in your shoes. If you’re not comfortable letting your mom know, then make a copy of the letter and show it to her. Then let her reach out to you. Get counseling to release your inner demons. Unfortunately, I went to one meeting and didn’t return because it gave me major flashbacks and anxiety after revealing my inner demons. I take medicine to keep mine buried. I don’t like regurgitating my past. Best wishes xoxo
Seek therapy for now. It’s been a long time and he’s in prison. Be thankful he can’t hurt anyone else. Write your feelings to him and send it or burn it. It’ll help you but definitely seek some professional help. I hope you find peace 
Do what I did, take care of yourself and your family, that’s all that matters…tell your family and see what happens, who they side with no matter the situation will tell you what to do, don’t get the response you want…F them move on, cut off contact.
Go see a counselor, they’ll help you get threw this…
I’m so sorry you went through that. I was also molested by an uncle and didn’t say anything for years. He ended up trying to molest his grand daughter and she started screaming, we were at a family function years after my ordeal. It came out that night that there were several of us that been victim to this.
My advice would be to set down with your mom and tell her you won’t be writing to him because of this. I don’t know how it will turn out for you but for me finally speaking up lifted a huge weight off me.
Best of luck to you.
Honestly? He didn’t care that he hurt you and is affecting you the rest of your life. Why should you care if people hate him? He did it and he deseves to be hated for. You never know, someone else may have gone through it too
I would speak up. Do not write him or send him pictures of your family if you don’t feel comfortable doing so. The only reason I would write him is to tell him you know what he did to you is wrong and you’re ready to expose it. Definitely seek therapy and speak with your husband about it when you’re ready.
I’d just tell my mom first then the rest of them. Also write to him and get your closure, tell him everything you need to. Also get therapy. I had a rough childhood and I thought I’m strong so its not gonna affect me , it didn’t feel like it had any affect on me. I ended up dealing with it my whole life. So get therapy. Good luck. Hugs. Hope everything works out in your favor
Out him, he should be ashamed of what he did not you. My family didnt take it serious that my uncle was touching girls until he got charged for it. Even now they dont really say anything.
Don’t tell your mom. She could turn on you. I always had vauge memories of being a small child that didn’t make sense to me. I was hypnotized to find more clarity to these memories. My counselor convinced me to tell my mom. She immediately called my abuser who called me a liar & awful names. My mom agreed with him. It caused a lot of tension & inability to recover. Now as an adult those memories come back often. I wish I never had hypnosis & certainly resent telling my mom. Sometimes it’s best to work things out on your own.
As a trauma survivor who’s been in therapy for almost 2 decades, I seriously recommend starting with a therapist (a trauma trained one if you can find one) otherwise your flashbacks and mental health will worsen without you having all the coping skills to handle it. Do some self care and healing before trying to send him a letter. You can tell your family, but have a crisis plan made with the therapist and maybe even invite your mom to the appointment with you so you’re not alone.
I’d tell them. And definitely do send the photo of your family. I have an uncle that I refuse let meet my daughter (s) bc of the same reason. No one understands why except my mom, who is also a victim of abuse…but telling someone finally felt SO much better…it’s still traumatic and that’ll never change but sharing your side of things will make you feel a little more relief. Best of luck, hugs
I would seek someone to talk to first, outside your family. Maybe a minister or counselor. Allow them to help you with your anxiety and flashbacks. Definitely do not send him a picture of your daughter or you or even your husband. I wish you all the best honey. I will pray for you that it all works out for the best!!
I agree with most here. Write to him. Tell him how you feel. I felt 100% better when I called my abuser. You will feel better. Then when you can you show your mom your letter. Of course if he responds show that to mom also. I couldn’t do that. My mom passed when I was 19.
I would seek a counselor and ask them because depending the outcome you could wind up hurt worse!!! God bless you
Fuck him!!! Live your truth!
You need to do what you need to do for YOU. No one else. If YOU need to tell them to help heal, then tell them. If they don’t believe it, or do the whole “he would never” type of thing, I’d personally cut them out of my life. I wouldn’t want people in my life who wouldn’t believe someone when they say they were abused.
As a CSA survivor myself and carrying the fear and worry that I would hurt and destroy my family by speaking up…still speak up! Don’t stay silent. Don’t let him or your family steal your voice. He’s the one that was wrong, not you. You were an innocent child. I have family members who said they wish they had known sooner so they could help me, I also have family members who tried to silence me, insist I never mention it, and don’t believe me. It hurts, but I can’t imagine holding on to that deep secret for any longer than I did. The person that abused me for 8 years is now dead. I still struggle with it to this day. Some days I carry guilt, like I should have went to this person and told them I forgive them…for myself, not them. Some days I wish I would have spoken up sooner and pressed charges so I could get some type of closure/justice. I understand that your uncle is in prison and can’t get out, but this is for you and your healing. My childhood trauma has left me with anxiety/panic disorder, depression, and C-PTSD. I am 41 now, if I could go back to when I was 22 I would definitely speak up more and get it out there for my own healing. The longer you hold it in, the more damage it’s going to do. Don’t focus so much on your family’s reaction, I hope and pray they support you…but don’t let their confusion/disbelief of the situation to tear you down. I hope you are able to get the peace and healing you deserve. Best wishes to you!!
Counseling might help you. You should tell your mother. I think she will understand, I’m sure she loves you. Prayers for you. One of my uncles who was married to my favorite aunt (my mom’s sister) use to show me and my sister, his willy and wants us to touch it. I finally told my mom after my grandpa passed away and just before my grandma passed away in 2011. One of my mom’s brothers (my favorite uncle) sexually assaulted one of my sisters and we have family members who want nothing to do with my sister because she got my uncle in trouble and want nothing to do with my mom because she believed my sister, there was proof. We couldn’t believe that he would do such a thing.
I told my family immediately and it took them 30 years to believe me!
You have to be strong now and tell your mother. Sure she loves her brother, but she will understand and if she doesn’t then it is her demon to bare. Do not allow her or anyone else to make you do things that cause you harm. Take your power back and know that what he did to you was not your fault and you should not feel ashamed. Seek some counseling or talk to someone who has been through this and had counseling. You are not alone and you can get through this. Tell your husband, if you haven’t already and protect your daughter from her great uncle. Take care and stay strong.
Your healing journey and mental health is worth more than ANYTHING in this world!!! Even IF they don’t support you(not saying that but that’s my reality and a lot of ppl i know/have met unfortunately) i have never once heard someone emotionally/mentally/spiritually evolved and progressed in their healing journey say they regretted it💯 You may have phases but once you get farther, it’s pretty vital imo. Chances are, they don’t even know! They would probably not do a d*** thing for him if they did! Plus once you come forward your true healing can start, WITH your family because like it or not, this is something that affects everyone involved.
Tell them what happened drugs do awful things to people. Hopefully you can for give him.
I would tell her. And definitely don’t send him pictures of your daughter. Absolutely not. Who cares if she loves him or not. He’s a POS monster.
I love my brother to death, and if he doesn’t get his life together he may be a lifer one day too.
That said, if he EVER touched my kids I would want to know, and I would destroy any family member that tried to go against me. Lord have mercy on all their souls.
If you were my daughter I’d never ever want you to feel that way. I’d tell you my love for YOU comes first before all others. I hope and pray your mother feels the same.
Your healing begins within, I always find writing to be very helpful, write it for you, read it aloud and whenever you feel that is the right time, share your feelings with those most close to you. Forgive yourself, you did nothing wrong. If you let your feeling bottle up it will eventually affect you physically and that is a no no. You have your children to protect. If your family ask you again to send pictures and write to this guy, explain your reasons and kindly decline but you must let your feelings out, right now you come first and your mental health is more important I know the feeling to well. Be strong, you got this! 
At 6 it’s hard to verbally explain what you felt or even tell bc of the fear. You are an adult now with a daughter so even though it’s hard you have a responsibility to her to be brave and TELL‼️ scream it from the rooftop. Seek professional help if you need too but your family deserves the truth. And you deserve to be free of this pain. Who knows how many times he has done this to other girls. This could free them too.
Tell em and seek theaphy if needed so sorry he did that
I think you’re ready for professional help. Every abused person that was abused in secrecy including myself eventually knows when it’s their time to come forward with their story, feelings of abandonment are common and not every one in your circle may be ready for this but coming forward is about you. Find a professional and take the extra help, there’s no reason to continue to harbor these emotions and continue to swim upstream with no support.
Tell your mom about the abuse. You’ll feel better. This is about you healing not anyone else. Tell your truth! Shame your uncle! He deserves worse than you telling.
For starters I’m glad he’s in prison. I would definitely tell them, depending on how they react will tell you a lot about your own family. If they truly care about you they will be understanding of the situation. If they aren’t, then you know you don’t need those kinds of people in your life! I’m so sorry you went through that 
I told my family about my uncle( my dad’s brother) They didn’t believe me. The scars from that are still raw to this day. It’s caused my relationship with my entire family to be strained and feels wrong. I’m not comfortable around them at all. They still invite him to every function. My father even made me walk during the aisle at his wedding with my uncle two years later when I was like 15. My sister allowed her daughter around him even after he admitted what he had done. He apologized to her about what he did to me.
Do I regret telling them? Not one little bit. I did what I could to protect any future victims. If they choose to ignore it make me the bad guy so be it. That’s on them. My children will never be his victims. I have two daughters and a son. I will never ever allow him to have his sick thoughts about my girls. He’ll never touch my girls or rape them. They’ll never be his victims. My mom’s sister actually married him a few years ago. I cut her out of my life. My grandfather lives with them so he is not part of our lives anymore either. It’s tough. I loved my grandfather and aunt. But they made their choice. I would tell them. You deserve to have your voice heard. He doesn’t deserve protection. Protect your daughter and your self. Prayers and good thoughts. You can feel free to message me anytime. I don’t know you. But I am here to support you. We aren’t victims. We are survivors.
First tell your mother … Then write the letter to your uncle telling him what he’s done to you and how you feel… Don’t send any pictures 
Writing a letter to him will help you move forward with your life…
Speak your truth. As soon as you can, as loud as you can to whoever you can. This secret needs to be released it has caused you enough harm & deserve to heal. Love & Strength.
Would you want your daughter to tell you, if you were the mum?
I honestly can say that my opinion should not matter bc thankfully i wasnt abused growing up. With that now being said i would most definitely tell your mother. I personally would probably see a lawyer and send him a letter saying that if he admits it to his sister I wouldn’t prosecute. That way it came from the horse’s mouth. For that opinion alone I would probably also seek some professional help before doing anything about it. A professional can help with weighing out your options.
You need to let it out, trust me! Also start therapy. Been in your shoes, little different story,but the same. Best thing I did was let it out, and go to therapy. Im so sorry
I would seek counseling and tell your parents weither they believe you or not. You need to work threw it
Maybe in your letter, state that you remember what he did and you’re going to keep a secret to protect the family. Then everyone wins. He gets a from you letter and you get a little more piece of mind by confronting him.
I would suggest telling someone you trust. Then speaking to your mum alone and open up by asking her to agree to believe you no matter what. This gets attention and explains the importance to you. Then tell her. And tell her your own boundaries of not sending pics & letters. Then go home to the person you trust and cry it out. Best of luck, you can do it.
Absolutely tell them. But I believe therapy should be first. It will help you process and possibly come to a place where you can tell your family with guidance and how to cope if things go sideways. You need it for the trauma either way.
If I were you I would be 100% open and honest. Don’t tiptoe around anything. If they don’t accept what you have to tell them then they themselves are toxic. My children come before anybody in my life, even my siblings
You should definitely tell her. I was also abused from a very young age until I was 15 when I told.
You definitely need to tell your mother. I would write a letter to your uncle, telling him how much he hurt you and hopefully he will write something back that will be your proof to show your mother. This was NOT your fault!
And to add don’t send your family picture, his eyes abs his heart is too evil even to look at them, I’m so sorry you been through that hugs
Seek professional help – because you need someone out of the situation that you can speak to without judgement that has your best interest at heart. Sometimes family can give a response that you are uncomfortable with and one that you don’t agree with… you need to have someone in your corner. Do whatever makes you comfortable and whatever feels right for YOU and your child and lastly… Don’t take advice from anyone on the internet that doesn’t feel okay… bc what’s best for us may not be best for you.
You should write to him how he made you feel and what you overcome and how wonderful you are and just tell him the f off. Make him regret!
You need to seek counseling or a support group. Somewhere it’s safe for you to open up and get it off your chest. The flashbacks are typical when stress affiliated with the incident comes to light. I was abducted and raped. Barely escaped with my life at 11. I’ll spare you the details. I didn’t tell anyone until years later. Carrying that secret was like carrying the world. I finally broke down and told my best friend and I swear to God it was like I could breath better. Approaching your family will be mentally and physically draining if everyone loves him. It’s best to get it all off your chest and deal with your own emotions first. Once your ready just go for it. Don’t let your fear hold you back. They need to know what happened. I personally wouldn’t send a picture. I would send him a letter and tell him exactly how you feel about the situation and make it clear how you want things handled between him and you and your little family.
Don’t hold it in and continue to suffer. Think about yourself and making yourself better.
You need to tell your mom as part of your healing process. Without knowing her personality, maybe dont have an expectation of a reaction. Do write your uncle and tell him your thoughts and how it was NOT ok.
Prayers for guidance and what you should decide. Listen to God he will not steer you in a direction he hasn’t planned out for you.
You should tell your mom and family!
Wheni was very young, i was abused by a family member. I told my parents a few yrs later and my parent chose not to believe me which was even more damaging. Write Him the letter. Dont send pics but write him and tell him what u remember. Tell him he abused you and the damage he did in doing so. Let him know u will NEVER allow him around ur own child and why. Then keep that promise!
First off, I am so sorry you had this happen to you 
Please Don’t keep it to yourself!Talk to a therapist for your own sake:heart:What a horrible piece of $#it he is!! He is right where God put him!! Please find Someone to talk to soon, cz eventually it will break you holding onto such trauma:pray:
Tell them so you can begin to heal you have held on to this by yourself all these years you deserve love and support tell them
Write him a letter tell him how he made u feel. He can’t do nothin but think of it. I did this to my ex husband when he got locked up. I wanted him to think of what he did to my daughter.
I’m not the best at giving advice, but Hun, it seems like it would benefit you if you talked to someone, your husband, someone you trust fully, it just sounds like it would give you closure if you told someone and just go from there. Best of wishes to you
Confront him with a letter. Advise your mom regardless if she believes you or not. Don’t be silent about his behavior it is not your fault. Search your heart and ask God to give you what it takes to forgive him because forgiveness is powerful, it is the path to healing.
Get yourself some counseling.
U must tell ur family. Believe in urself . Stay cool. Time has gone . Tc for ur family . Best wishes 4u
He is in there he cannot hurt you any longer sister. Write him a letter and tell him how disgusted and just everything you need out write it in that letter and send it to him. Get if off your chest.
No you don’t keep it to yourself that’s is a huge problem in society is protect the family ped. Its not your fault and yes you should let them know. I’ve been through it I know the pain I’m sorry
Talk you need to get this out talk to your gp first then they will help you. Been here hun except it was my dad he has passed away now but I’m still here living it
You need to let all this out or it’s going to eat at you from the inside out
My daughter was abused by her older step brother (also my son). When I found out I went through a range of emotions but not believing her wasn’t one of them. He is getting help and she is in therapy.
If you don’t feel that you can talk to your family, at least seek therapy. Your therapist will have suggestions on what to do. Also you are an adult now, you do not have to do as anyone asks. Or write him a letter, tell him your feelings and do not include any pictures. And explain that you will not write him again. Or that you don’t wish to hear from him. Best of luck to you and your family. Healing from trauma is hard. I do suggest not going it alone.
I hope the answer bring you peace whatever it is
Speak your truth girl.
You should tell your Family ! You deserve some peace. This is why so many don’t share this abuse they are threatened .
If you’re family is close they will believe you regardless so you need to tell them.
If it’s happened to you’re own kid you’d want to know as well I’m sure.
Write him and tell him what you told us.
Tell your family as well. Prayers.
I would probably write a letter but no pictures. Tell him exactly how you feel and eventually when he gets out you will probably have to tell your parents cause they won’t know why you and your family don’t want to be involved with him.
Write him a letter about how how you feel and how what he did affected you, give it to your mum to read before you send it .
If your not going to tell your Mom then write him and tell him never to mention your name, your childs, or your husbands again. Tell him to stay away from your family or you will tell the truth about the horrible things that he did and to never contact
You.
I go through that flashback/panic every few months when my bio family sends someone to try to get me to meet up with them or let them take my children!! I learned that the best way to deal with it is to tell your truth and live your life the way you want
Tell at least your mom and or another trusted family member. I’m not sure the whole family needs to know straight from you, especially since your mom or another trusted family member could kinda talk to the rest of the family about it. Would talking to the whole family feel kinda devastating? Also, you can’t control how people are going to react over it, whether they are right or way wrong. I personally think it would be nice to have a buffer (aka family member) between you and their reactions. It could cause you more trauma.
See a therapist, please!
I’m so sorry hun. I feel like you need to get this out. Write him and tell him you are a big girl now and you know what he did to you was not okay and you would rather he forgot about you and your little family. Heal baby and speak your truth. Some feathers will get ruffled but deep down you need to release this.
Does your husband know? If not I would sit down and tell him then I would tell my mother. You’re not doing yourself any good keeping it in. I would not be writing him a letter or sending him pictures at all and I would tell your family NOT to send pictures of you, your husband and child. He may be in jail now but you still have to protect yourself and your daughter!!! Also there could be someone else he’s done it to that is keeping it a secret also they may feel more comfortable saying something when you do.
no because it will haunt you…get it out. talk about it. if they dont believe you go on.u dont have to have validation but dont let it eat you up
Tell your Mom. Get it off your shoulders. He is in the right place for a reason. God took care of it 
. Live your life honey
Telk her no,if she asks set her down and explain why,if she doesn’t believe u, well sweetie that falls on her, but you will feel more at peace,u can not keep this builded up inside of you. Remember he’s to blame for what he did.i would not write him and I would tell my mother not to send him pictures of me nor my family.
Just know you aren’t to blame for what he did,he’s a pedophile. You may still be able to press chargers against him, check with an attorney and see.
Tell them. You’ll find out who to cut out of your life when you do.
First. Get counseling for your trauma because that is an awful thing to have to work through on your own. 
I am so sorry that happened to you. I agree with confronting him in a letter and making him aware that you remember and to never contact you again.
Tell them! What comes to my mind is if they ever had your daughter while u were gone and he came by unannounced. At least they would be aware. Im not sure how long hes locked up for but at least the truth would be out. Do u think your mom would believe u? Soo many are in denial and accuse the victims of lying which is soo sad. I hope talking to your family helps bring some comfort for u.
You going to drive yourself nuts…its better you tell your mom or damage yourself.
much love hun
Hanrie Vania Matthee