How would you bring up a sensitive topic with a friend in a way that doesn’t hurt their feelings? I was recently talking to a friend about how I don’t understand women who are never with their kids, and she mentioned that she does a lot of things without her kiddos. She’s divorced so her kids go to their dad’s 2 nights a week, which of course is understandable. BUT on top of that she does a girls dinner twice a month, a girls weekened trip 1-2 times a year, a date night once a month or so with her boyfriend, AND this weekend she is going out of town for 2 nights with a friend without her kids. I was honestly surprised she told me. I worry her kids aren’t getting her full attention. How much “me time” does one person need before it’s excessive?
You don’t. Mind ya business.
You didn’t mention the age of the kids. I assume you’re also basing your opinion on her life/parenting while yourself is a marriage? She’s having to reestablish an entire part of herself. That’s not extreme imo and I’m a helicopter parent from 9-18.
My “me time” is reading after my kids go to bed.
This woman isn’t a good example of a mother. Obviously her wants trump her kids needs.
No need to even respond to my comment. Notifications are off. If you’re offended by my comment, the shoe must fit. 🫶🏻
Sounds like you need some me time. I don’t think any of this is excessive and it’s not your job to worry about how she parents.
Mind your business. As long as her kids are happy and healthy then it’s fine.
- Not your kids don’t worry about it.
- Enjoy your day.
If she was an absent parent she wouldn’t have kids in her care.
I’d say it varies from person to person… but I wouldn’t necessarily bring it up to her. She’s a big girl. Mind your business.
4 to 6 days a month is too much, didn’t count father’s days weekend away 3 days ( but that is 1 -2× a year) WOW
MYOB
The best way to handle this is to mind your business. No one needs a friend like you
If her kids go with their dad twice a week, then he probably appreciates the ad hoc time he gets with them when she goes on these short excursions. This isn’t excessive at all and the only way that a conversation like that will go will involve either being told to mind your own business or being told that you’re bitter because you can’t even pee without an audience.
mind your business. she’s an adult and she’s going to do what she wants when she wants . worry about your own kids .
It sounds like you are jealous, honestly. Everyone should have me time. What she is doing isn’t a lot of time away from her kids either. Now if someone is pawning off their kids 4-5 times a week to go out and party, then that’s different 
Plus all that time away could be when the dad has the kids. If not, the kids could be with another relative, which would be good for the kids. Sheesh, you act like moms shouldn’t have any time for themselves. When my son is at school, it’s my me time, when he goes to bed, it’s my me time 
Could be shopping or going out with my man, who knows but if my son is good, then I should have time too. 
Oh no how dare a mum want some free time 
this is none of your business to be honest. I don’t feel like any of this is an excessive amount of time away from her children. You say she’s away this weekend but maybe that’s because the kids are at their dad’s. Even if they aren’t why does it matter as long as the kids are safe? Maybe there’s some jealousy on your part here? I see absolutely no reason for you to stick your nose in. If she’s happy the kids are safe let her do her and you do you. Don’t try and mum shame her and make her feel guilty. I have 6 kids I’m with my younger 2 24/7 unless they are at school and my older 4 go to their dad a max of twice a week but usually it’s less id love a break. Tbh I’m jealous of her lol
So, 2 nights a week they are with the other parent, dinner 2 times a month, once a month date night and you feel she never has her kids? Wait until you find out about the moms who take their kids somewhere everyday so they can go to work or school! She is a lucky mom to be able to do those things. Sounds like you need a break yourself.
You don’t. Not your place. Unless she is abusing them or leaving them home alone for a weekend and they are under 10, you stay quiet. Everyone parents differently.
My mom was an amazing mom who did date nights every Saturday with my dad. She went out with her friends at least once a month. But we also had tons of family time.
It sounds more like you’re jealous you have no time to yourself and I get it.
I’m the kind of mom whose alone time is stay up late at night. But who are we to judge what others do ?
I’d say if can live that life and have the support then why not
I parent alone i have no time but have friends like a social life still.
It’s really none of your business to talk to your friend on the subject. People parent different and as a friend shouldn’t judge.
Sounds like she is doing self care! If I were you, I’d tell her so she can UNFRIEND you permanently. This is not excess. I think you are just so use to women ignoring their own needs and mental health and absolutely losing their identity when having children. If she’s not neglecting her children then it’s none of your business what she does with her free time.
Not your kids not your problem. Unless they are getting abused and are happy mind your own.
I’d keep that to myself if k was you. It’s none of your business.
sounds like she has her kids most of the time? she sounds like a normal person IMO & dad is the one who doesn’t have the kids enough.
girls dinner-kids are with dad
weekend trip-kids are with dad
date with her boyfriend-kids are with dad
weekend trip-kids are with dad
sounds like you’re jealous 
There is nothing wrong with what she is doing.
You sound insufferable. Please just do her a favor and stop talking to her
LOL girl bye. Not all moms just stop living because they have kids. It’s great she can do all these things and I bet she plans most of it on the nights her kids aren’t with her. Mind your business 
This post is a joke right?
Sounds pretty healthy to me. And also not your business.
And this is your business how? Are they abuse? Neglect? If not let her do her… you are not her babysitter…
You sound envious and maybe need to rethink your reasons👀 You should try it. And if you don’t like it then carry on, but don’t ruin her, for your satisfaction.
She has to plan these “me” time outtings. Which means she has a support system in place. Trusted adult to leave her kids with.
Do I have that freedom with my 4 kids? NO. Don’t I hate on someone that does? NO.
These kids aren’t going without because their mom is able to sneak away for few hours at a time. Or takes a girls weekend when the kids are already with their Dad.
If her children are being taken care of why do you care what she does in her free time, sounds like someone’s jealous
I would stay in my own lane 
Girl mind your business 
Are her kids FED? Are they CLEAN? Are they WARM? Are they LOVED? If the answer is yes to all, you need to stay in your lane.
I mean she probably is able to do alot because they are with their dad every weekend so she has the time to be able to do things without her kids and know they are still safe, loved and looked after while with their dad…
Sounds like you could use a day off and are resenting your friend abit for being able to have a life outside of being a mum
My daughter goes to her dads every weekend because she chooses too and he wants to have her… does that make me a bad mum for allowing her to have a good relationship with her dad?? Up until I had my son I could do whatever I wanted on my daughters daddy days because I knew she was safe loved and enjoying herself with her other parent… I would have cut anyone off for implying I don’t deserve a life outside of being a parent so be prepared for your friend to do the same
2 places where you can stay-
In your own lane and in your own business.
Don’t know how this is any of your business or how it affects your life. Sounds like maybe you’re a little jealous. Grow up!!!
She sounds like mom of the year. Remember some(most) women get pregnant, they don’t actually want those kids. This proves it. Anyone can have kids, only the good ones are real moms
If you aint taking care of her kids its non of your business what she does in her spare time get a life!!!
Do you have kids? Because if you do then you know how draining it can be. There’s nothing wrong with a little girl time, me time, mini vacay, spa day, eating without sharing… The list goes on. If her kids are happy and healthy then she’s doing the mom thing right. Just because you’re a mom doesn’t mean you have to live and breathe your children every second of every day. She sounds like she’s doing great.
Not your place to judge. I feel like I never get enough time with my daughter, but that’s me. I recharge being with her. But if your friend recharges by time away, then she is a better parent when she is with her children. If you value your friendship, let this go.
You only going to embarrass yourself if you open your mouth with this nonsense. Women are allowed to be something other than mothers when they become a parent. None of this sounds excessive or like her children don’t receive enough attention. It sounds like you may be a little jealous that you don’t get to experience as much child free time to be something other than a mother
What she does is NONE of your business. Period.
Spend the time you spend wondering about her life, worrying about your own!
I think we all could learn a thing from your friend. Sleep care is so important. She is living her life, and being a mom. Nothing wrong with this at all. Also, you should def mind your business when ot comes to this, or your friendship will likely be done. This friend isn’t doing anything wrong, and you come across sounding jealous.
Mind your business 
. Just because it’s not what you would do doesn’t mean it’s wrong
Jesus Christ is this post real? Shame on you!!! I will go somewhere everyday without my kids if that’s what my mental health needs. Sounds to me like you are letting your jealousy get in the way and I suggest not saying a word to her!
I think u need to get on with ur life and let ur friend get on with her life … just as long as the kids are well looked after then there is no problem… she deserves a life too!!!
It is NONE of your business
Just based off of the coparenting schedule, she has the time to do those things and just by the simple math, it’s while the kids are gone.
Girls night twice a month isn’t unreasonable. One date night a month with the boyfriend isn’t unreasonable. One or two weekend trips a year isn’t unreasonable. Where did you learn that being a “good” mother means never taking time for yourself?
Is this real? I can’t even with this post. Yes go and spend time with your friends or do things just as a couple with out your friends. You need and are allowed that time for selfcare. Plus who is going to be aroudn when your kids grow up and move out of the house??
Not your business unless she’s asking you to take her kids, then a no thank you is all you have business in!
You sound awfully judgemental and she needs to keep her glass full to keep pouring into those little one. If that means self care and me time then I don’t see a problem with it.
It’s hilarious to me that you feel entitled to a conversation with her about this
no way huh! This is what you’re worried about? Your FRIEND, as you call her having time for herself. Which is not excessive by the way. Girllll, I hope your friendship is strong enough if you decide to voice your unnecessary opinion. Cause aint no way. As a friend you’d think you’d be GLAD she got her time to herself. What she is doing is what the normal should be. Taking time for herself. One date night a month. A trip twice a year. Like what?? I think YOU need time for yourself also and to mind your business.
Sounds like your kids are your entire personality and that’s okay, but they certainly don’t have to be and in my opinion, shouldn’t be. I spent time away from my kids not only for my own sanity, but for their benefit as well, if god forbid something ever happened to us, my kids have good relationships with their family and have slept away from our home, so it would be such a huge shock to their system. Self care is super important and helps with stress, anxiety and depression. How can you be the best version of you when all you are is just a mom. Anyways, I wouldn’t say anything and just move forward with your own choices in life, accepting that those may be different than others. Bringing something like this up would be entirely inappropriate and could cause your friendship to crumble.
Listen, disrespectfully, stfu and mind your own mf business. You sound like a jealous and shtty friend.
I might ask to better understand, perhaps you could get some lessons on self care and child rearing and you can both be better people for having a full deep conversation
Sounds like it’s really none of your business tbh… if one of my friends brought this up I’d feel they were jealous… she’s doing what works for her and that’s perfectly ok❤️
Lmao. You sound salty. So because she’s a mom she doesn’t deserve to enjoy her life? You honestly don’t sound like a good friend. You should be encouraging her to live her best life, with or without kids!
Tell her then at least she knows what type of friend you are.
Wow! Good for Her! She’s keeping her sanity! And still being there for her kids More Than Not! Good job to that friend of yours😊
At least she has friends. I don’t have any friends, seems like since I had my son 11 years ago I lost all mine. All I have is my sisters. But still don’t do anything without any kid/s. Anytime I want too always kids involved lol. So at least she’s lucky lol.
Just say it to her face. And when she drops you as a friend she’ll have freed up some extra time for her kids.
Honestly, this doesn’t sound like a lot to me. Being a parent is hard. Being a MOTHER is harder. If she’s not at her best, she can’t fully be mentally present for her children. Maybe try asking her if you can have a dinner with her or plan a girls trip with her. If you have that support system. It’s so important that we partake in self care. I bet her kids are happy, healthy, and well-taken care of. Idk her, but I get the feeling she goes above and beyond for her kids.
Okay so their dad only has them 8 nights a month and you’re worried about the 3 times a month she regularly has some me time scheduled? 
Or is this even planned on the same nights dad has them? Either way. Nothing about this is excessive and those kids are probably getting way more quality time with mom when they’re together than if she were to be exhausted and not mentally taken care of herself and with them 24/7. 
And if this is all planned in the evenings/nights the kids are PROBABLY sleeping the majority of the time anyways…
Girl get off her ass and stay in ur lane. U are too much😬 I’d have to cut u off as a friend
I understand the kindness and love behind this- but truly, it’s none of your business
I feel she is more healthy than you . Seems like it hurt you than her, she was telling you what she was doing without kids because she does gets that me time. You need your me time too
She must make great money to be able to do all if that. The amount of time spend with your children need to be quality. Some people spend hours everyday and it isn’t a good time for the parent or child.
You should be proud of your friend. Praise her for seeing the magic formula of balance in her life. Be glad your not handling a different version of what she could be. She could be wasting the potential of that free time by weeping on the floor or something waiting for someone to pick her up.
Ummm that seems like a fairly reasonable schedule, lol. Some of us don’t have the support system to be able to do that but we all get it. Taking care of yourself allows you to be more present for your children.
Honestly it isn’t your business if you don’t like it, don’t be friends with her. Who are YOU to tell anyone how to live?
Mind your damn business. It’s not every other day. It’s seldom.
Sounds like you need to mind your business
that sounds normal and you sound jealous
Did this post go the way you rhought it was gonna go? Nope. Sounds like you need to mind your business. I’m a SAHM and whatever time I can get out my house I’m taking it!
You have stated what she does without her kids but not what her and her kids do together… Obviously her and Dad coparent good but all I see is negativity reading this and usually that means a streak of jealousy…
You’re itching for a bite.
Mind your own business, unless she is requesting unpaid babysitting, let her do her thing.
As someone who is currently pregnant and has two children with me constantly I would like to say that you my friend are jealous. Heck I would love to have a shower to my self let alone a few days child free. She has her children 95% of the time from your post and that is more than most people now days. It’s not your place to say anything to her as she is doing just fine as a parent.
She’s divorced and the kids have a dad. She has 50% of her week free . Are you mad that Dad isn’t giving his full attention either?
So a few times a year she does things for herself, to keeps herself and mental health happy. And you have a problem with it? Because you don’t have the same freedoms?
Find a new friend. It’s her business but it does sound crazy to me. Move on …
Sounds like you are jealous…you should just mind your own business and let her raise her kids they way she wants… My best friend free range raises her kids and my kids have lots of rules and a structured routine…trust me and just focus on how you want to raise your kids
Sounds like she is doing self care to be an excellent mom to her kiddos.
You sound like you don’t have kids and that you are jealous. Being a mom doesn’t cancel the rest of your life…
Mind your own damn business
It’s none of your business.
I’m sorry how is this excessive? 2 nights a week means she has them 5 nights.
once a month she has a date and once a month she goes out with friends . So far that’s 5 days out of 30-31 days with 1-2 longer vacations out of the entire YEAR. Out of 365 days she has them more than 75% of the time and you think her kids aren’t getting her full attention?? Do you have these same expectations of the father or just her bc she’s the mom?
Honestly you sound bitter, jealous, and judgemental.
Are her kids experiencing abuse or neglect? Is there an actual reason to be concerned? Or you just wanna tell your friend how much you disprove of her decisions and shame her for taking care of herself because YOU personally don’t approve ?
Im honestly baffled that you think this is too much as if her 1-2 times a year vacation is happening every week or her girls weekend is happening every weekend… like do you expect moms to be glued to their children 24/7?!
You’re so out of touch .
It’s really not your place to tell her how much time to spend with our without her kids - friend or not.
That sounds like a nice balance of mom-time and me-time.
Girl STFU and MIND YOUR BUSINESS. clearly you’re not a single parent because if you were you wouldn’t have even made this dumb ass post. I’m a single parent with NO co-parent. It is me 100% of the time. I take 3 girls trips, no kids, with my bestie every year who is also a single parent. I do hella shit without my kid. Hell me and my bestie just went to Florida for the weekend to do Halloween horror nights.
We also do HELLA SHIT WITH OUR KIDS. We take 3 vacations a year with our kids in addition to our girls trips.
All in all sounds like you have a bad case of minding other business that doesn’t concern you. As long as her kids are happy and healthy why tf do you care? Worry about your kids weird ass mf.
Really it’s not your business. She’s doing what works for her and that’s the most important.
Wow! Hold on ……This sounds like a woman who is a great mom who takes time for herself. Kudos to her! And seriously… not your monkeys not your circus. It’s not up to you. Let her live her life. As long as the children are happy and healthy, she’s doing what every woman should do. Take time for herself. You need to stop judging and pay attention to your own life. You sound like you are being petty…
That’s not excessive time away from her kids.
Not bad! Mind your business and be a friend or move on! It’s her life!
They see their dad much less time. Are you also going to let him know he is spending too much time without his kids?
I think you should mind your own business. And worry about your own kids .
I have five kids and you best believe my husband and I go out without them all the time. We have a weekly night out, we have taken several all inclusive vacations, and anytime they’re with their grandparents we find something to do by ourselves. I also have girls night, and go places alone often.
However, aside from that my children always have our attention. They all play sports-two of which my husband coaches them in-and we attend every little thing with and for them. We take trips as a family, we eat dinner every night together at the table, we play trivia games together, the list goes on. They are not neglected nor deprived of attention.
So, no I do not think it’s wrong to also want alone time and time without my kids. It keeps me sane; I have great people in my life who allow this to be possible.
Honestly, you sound bitter because you don’t have the same support system to allow you time away. Maybe find a dependable sitter and start taking more time for yourself.
It’s also okay if you don’t want to be away from your kids at all- I have friends like that. It’s perfectly acceptable but don’t make other feel bad for not wanting to spend every second with their children. You do you, and let your friend do what she wants.
Your friends kids go to their fathers twice a week. Mind your business seriously and do not try and guilt trip your friend cause she has “me time” arranged for herself without her kids. How dare you quite honestly.
Are you serious? Are you a single mom? Obviously not. Is she supposed to sit at home and be sad when her kids aren’t there? My kids go with their dad 4 nights a month max. That means I’m doing bedtime and everything else at least 27 nights a month, in fact I did it for 9 straight months when he was deployed! By myself. No help. I pack every lunch, do all homework, all appts. I wish I had enough time and friends and money to do what she’s doing. And if I had a “friend” like you questioning it, we wouldn’t be friends.
And I know this isn’t in reference to me but you need to open your eyes and be thankful. #jealousmuch
i wouldn’t bring it up as it’s none of your business she’s allowed to also have a life do you not have a break and maybe bit jealous ?
People need to learn when they do NOT get a say in someone’s lives
This is one of those times …so stfu and do some self reflection on WHY you think the way you do 
Shes having time to her self while her kids are cared for and safe. Nothing wrong with that.
Shes taking care of her self and needs few times a month and you got issues with that while the children are with their father or another safe person . Get a grip.