Find a blog on narcissism and ask him read it and really think on it. I would polite include I don’t think Sarah or w/e her name is “the one”. Confirmation of what he already feels and knows will come to mind if he gets back with her.
My son went through something very similar. I chose words very carefully but did not bite my tongue. However, my son came to me. I didn’t monitor his stuff.
Sounds like he knows your thoughts and feelings on it already. Stay out of it now.
This would be tough I have two sons 18 and 21. One is a Senior in high school
My sons were allowed to go out in high school with friends etc, but weren’t really allowed to have a serious relationship for this exact reason.
Not that it was forbidden to date, but it was so strongly discouraged, they just never did. I always worried I did the wrong thing, but I have wanted their focus to be on their education, goals, future plans and both of their career aspirations leaves little time for relationships and certainly not one that would cause so much drama it may derail those plans.
While I worry my position of not having a girlfriend was too much, I’ve definitely had a rather drama less high school experience🤷🏻♀️
Should this change and I face myself with this situation, I agree with most comments I’ve read, l’d reassure and remind him I’m here always. I’ve always been the Mom to butt in when I say I’m not and lay the cards on the table regardless of the outcome.
While it has earned me a few eye rolls and silent treatments, for the most part I think they get where I’m coming from and I have been blessed to have such a close relationship with both my kids
Now college may be a whole different story 
Best of luck!
Sometimes it’s best to let them find out on their own.
Interfering does make it worse.
As a mom of 3 grown sons. DO NOT GET INVOLVED,unless asked.
Next step is her ending up pregnant on purpose to keep him around. I’d step in and keep them away from each other.
Your behaviour is just as controlling as hers.
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What is it about this girl that he cant let go of ?
You’re going to have to step back and let him learn. Only get involved if his life in danger
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How old is your son?
There’s a difference in letting them learn and letting them deal with abuse. If he’s still a minor then it’s your job to protect him. Sit with him and go online, look up red flags and abusive behavior. There’s a check list you can have him do. Call the hotline and have him speak to a professional about her behavior. Just make sure to tell him what good relationships are supposed to look like. He needs to set up boundaries and she needs to respect them. Tell him the best way to deal with people when you permanently end things is to block them everywhere. If he ends up doing that and she still gives home problems then report herto the police. Just because they’re teenagers doesnt mean she wont be the crazy or dangerous ex.
Anyway, I’m saying to help him because my parents were 100% the “let them learn the hard way” type. Know what happened? I married my abuser and was stuck for 10 years. Every time I tried to leave him it was very bad. Now if I had parents who intervened or tried to help me in the beginning none of that might have happened. Instead he manipulated me into believing that I was causing all of our relationship problems but it was okay because he still loved me. Dont just stand by and watch him be abused. If you wouldnt accept family mistreating him then why is this any different?
How old is your son?
Tell him he deserves better!! He will never be happy with her, she will never change her behavior!!!
Stay out of it. Let him make his mistakes, and learn from them.
Dont push it mama but this is terrible. Unfortunately you cant get involved or he will hate you.
Well I am probably going to catch it for saying what I am about to say, but First let me say I am mother bear 100%, some one hurting my kid is a hope they have their last will and testament wrote out somewhere, because it is my first thought that claws come out. Now in my experience growing up and experience with my young ones the more some one disapproved of the person or relationship the harder it was or is for someone to see the reason for the disapproval and stays with that person despite the person being a bad egg, narcissistic etc. This girl u speak of sounds like a narcissist, and emotionally abusive even if she or your son doesn’t realize that is what it is. If you openly Express dislike for her it will just have the opposite effect and her gaslighting will make him feel emotionally responsible for her happiness etc , I would try the pretending to feel sorry for her, such a nice thing etc , son might then feel differently about her and not so defensive about her and the relationship. How do her parents feel about your son ? There are also the options that counseling might help him, maybe have husband talk to him, we can’t teach our kids every life lesson , some times all we can do is be there monitor it best we can, and let them learn it for themselves. It sounds like son sees it is toxic, and will have had enough, but he has to be the decider of it. My son had a complete hose beast, manipulator, smart ass, u name it I really had to practice my behavior around this girl, but he finally saw the light and stopped talking to her. My daughter has been in some strange relationships, one where they BOTH weren’t good for each other, the little guy lived states away and they were long distance and would facetime each other all the time, he would have panic attacks if he was away from technology to communicate with my daughter and she felt she needed to be on the other end of the technology to save him from his anxiety etc (o to be 13/14) his mother didn’t like my daughter because of this, and called me about it, I told her she was the problem and she could limit his technology time, if she quit expressing her dislike for my kid whom she knew nothing about it would fizzle out quick enough and sure enough it did shortly after, daughter dated a precious boy the kind that you might hope she stays with, o my we adored him, but for that reason she found fault in him, we disapproved of her next choice, for 1 big reason alone, they were kids, he had a kid from a previous relationship and I was concerned about her getting attached to the kid, kid getting attached to her, us all of that, but because we disapproved she fought like hell to be with guy. 7 years later they are still together, kid is very attached to daughter and us and vice versa, kids real mom is out of the picture and had nothing to do with kid, but if I had told my daughter she needed to take boy and child in and keep them in early days she would have done the opposite of what I said. Even though we all have the best of intentions for our kids and their needs some times they have to be able to decide for themselves it is hard for everyone, but it’s that they are trying to grow and take control of their lives as they mature. If he insists on being in any kind of relationship though I would preach about safe sex all the time, buy him condoms do what ever necessary to prevent a baby from the situation.
Just be a listening ear for him, we learn as we grow, sometimes the hard way, but these are HIS lessons to learn. Whats meant to be will be.
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I have 3 sons all very happily married. They have all had their share of heartache in their teen years. One was dating a girl that was trying to get pregnant. He was so stressed he chewed his fingernails off. He told me 3 times she thought she was pregnant and he was miserable. I remarked that there was one way and one way only that she wouldn’t get pregnant and was truthful to him. She broke up with him because he started refusing to have sex. No, I didn’t like her. I was seeing her take his friends into his bedroom and shut the door. Friends coming out looking just a little sheepish. The other son had a girlfriend who was a cheating hussy. She didn’t think oral sex was sex so she did that with boys and not think a thing about it. I told him that I was shocked that he still kissed that girl and it was gross. He walked in on her giving a boy oral sex and punched the boy in the nose and left that boys house. His dad called and said he was going to have my son arrested because he walked in on his son and his girlfriend and punched his boy. He was very surprised to find out that she was my sons girlfriend for several months and at my house the night before. She had been his sons girlfriend for a week. Be frank with your son I’ve raised 3 and was very candid with them all. My sons were in middle school during these episodes. But, I was always very truthful with them from the beginning. I hope this helps you. Ask how he feels and ask him to be truthful with himself.
Tell him that you are and always will be there for him.
Tell him that you are NOT suggesting ANYTHING. This is not about his current situation. Rather these are things he needs to know for his life going forward.
Sometimes the real lessons need to come from someone not named mom:/
Ask him to watch these red flags of a narcissist videos:
Honestly I would use his situation to talk to him just not about him…hear me out a minute. I would go to him and start a casual conversation about his day and just randomly throw in a “hey this is going to sound strange but I need so help for another mom and her kid” give him HIS situation in a gist not hide exact situation and ask what advice he would give this other kid about that situation. Or you could write out his situation in gist on your phone and pretend to read him a “post” written by another person in almost the same situation (perhaps a girl who’s ex-boyfriend wants her back and treated her the same way) and ask him what advice he would give this girl. I don’t know it’s what I’d do with my kids and hope that they would realize that they are in the same situation as this pretend person.
Let him lead his own path.
As much as you want to do something this is something that you need to let run its courses
New phone number and block her. Don’t leave that door open.
If the kid is over 15 its not really up to you anymore unless its an adult dating him. Other wise stay out of it
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I’d say be clear with him about birth control. Keep close.
Please keep us updated on how this goes.
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Make her your best friend. Be nice, time will tell.
Don’t stay out of it. Ignore those who tell you to. Those are red flags. Go online and find a domestic violence hotline. Get someone there to talk to him. He may listen more to an experienced person.
Ummm cut the cord sweetie… we get stronger thru these heart aches…we find out what we don’t want in a partner… takes a lot of sleeze to get thru the trees
Stop being a helicopter and let him do what hes going to do
Listen momma that’s all you gotta do and honestly it sounds like the ex gf has some major issues she needs help
Your wayyyy… to far into his relationship … gezzz
Let him come to you when he is ready
If he doesn’t want to talk about it with you, mind your business. Let him figure it out. If he wants your opinion or advice, he’ll ask.
Stay out of it Momma
Restraining order. 500 ft.
Leave it along,your making it worse,if he needs you he will let you know.
Make sure he wears a rubber
How are are these kids ?
We didn’t have social media when we learned how to maneuver through dating. This girl is toxic , and manipulating him still. I’d do a few things, 1) I’d have a talk with her parents, 2) I’d have him delete his social media accounts and make new ones blocking her ,3) change his phone number and block her … and if this doesn’t stop her threaten to put a restraining order on her, I’m sure her parents wouldn’t like that . This is the type of stuff that can l as to suicide.
Stay out of it and just let him know you are there for him
Ex is toxic and will get worse as she gets older. Keep her away from him. Buy him books about toxic behaviours, emotional blackmail, narsissists and emotional bullies.
“To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid.”
So if you talk to him and come at it from any sort of “i hate her” behavior he will not trust you. This controlling needs to be stopped. The stalking over fb location is just that STALKING. He is too young and the best waynis to tell him to look at it from anothers perception. Tell him to tell her if she wants to change and stop being so controlling then start now and prove it. Stop stalking him, calling him 100x ect. If she cant change now she NEVER will. That will also give him time to learn to be with out her down his neck 
One thing that Ann Landers told her readers was to ask yourself this question: “Am I better off with them or without them?” Or, Dr Phil would ask, " How’s that working for you?" They have to learn it themselves. But you do need to be the safety net for him. He won’t listen to you in regards to his relationship with her that much is clear. Make sure tgat he has an ample supply of condoms or else you could be a grandparent to this girl’s (and your son’s) child.
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Jesus, this is a bit much. Give your advice or suggestions if he asks for it and then stay out of it.
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Listen to your husband & stay out of it!! Just be a safe space for him to come to when it gets to be too much, someone he can talk to.about it! If you continue to push he will see you as someone he cant talk to bc he will worry you will get to involved
He does need to learn on his own absolutely. But there is a point when parents need to step in. Let him make his own choices but also let him know that he shouldn’t accept certain treatment. And you as his mom have every right to step in if he is experiencing abuse, which this girl is absolutely emotionally abusing him.
It sounds like maybe he’s not mature enough to be dating to be honest.
To be fair it also sounds like your a bit of an overbearing mom. Monitoring his social media and messages and arranging meetings with the parents of his girlfriend without his involvement and taking screenshots of his private messages sounds like a bit of a red flag.
If you don’t trust him with privacy don’t give him a social media capable phone.
Shes sounds like a complete nut job, I would be having a word to her mother about her behaviour, if it was the other way around your son would be called a stalker, that’s exactly what she is,and she needs help, she want her cake and eat it, your son is well out of it with her and tell him just block her on social media, you hear these stories all the time, nip it in the bud before she acts more weird and turns into a scarier person, big hugs to your son and you should be concerned and be there when he needs you, being a mum to 2 young teenager boys, I would kick her fanny, treating anyone like that, xx
I think you probably need to sit down and hear this young girl’s side of the story because it could be quite different from what your son is telling you. Especially if he went from dating one best friend to another. That alone would cause a lot of issues in a relationship
OK SO HERE IT IS!!! I HAVE 5 BOYS, GIRLS SUCK! I have been though so much with my older 3, and know i will go through it all again with my younger 2. Go to him let him know, I dont want to see you fail, i want to see you succeed in everything you do. But after watchng what she has done and the way she treated you before, That is not the way you should be treated. And a lepoard never changes its spots, even if they say they will cause she hasnt and you arnt even with her
I suggest you tell yourself son to not allow anyone who is not his parent to track him. And to not post any details about his private life on social media. And also to take a break from being exclusive with one girl, be honest and upfront with any girl he wants to take on a date. And get to know other girls. Kids are so manipulative and social media makes it so much worse. I have a nine year ok’d daughter and I already talk to her all the time about the importance and luxury of being a private citizen.
Why do you know every detail? Way too involved. If he needs this much guidance and support he doesn’t need to be in a relationship with mommy holding his hand. How old is he? 12?
Just be there for him and let him always know if he needs someone to talk to or advice you will be there for him, but do not and I repeat do not confront him or push him in a corner or be judgmental. He will shut you out completely. Your husband is right. Some lessons have to be learned on their own. Remember you dont know her or love her like he does and you are biased because he is your son.
Based off him just getting his drivers license and the drama and the timeline this is looking like something that started around the age of 15 and now into 16. My son is not 15 yet but I hope I’m involved in his life (not checking his social media but if he signed up at 15, the worlds a scary place, look at Michelle Carters case, maybe more parents should monitor) when he is since he’s still a child. This doesn’t sound like some 18 year old. I don’t get how knowing what your CHILD is doing is overbearing or too involved. And if this was a post about a 15/16 year old girl with a boyfriend manipulating and stalking her I don’t think the comments would be you are too involved. There’s a difference between being an involved and helpful parent and being a controlling parent. If he knows you are there for him and you’ve talked with him there isn’t much else that you can really do, besides just keep being his ear; and making sure he’s safe and things don’t escalate. I don’t think it’s right for girls to be able to do this to boys, she shouldn’t be stalking him, tracking his location, not letting him spend time with family, or friends, etc. that’s toxic behavior, even for a teen. It doesn’t sound likes mom has been interfering, it sounds more like she’s trying to be a PARENT, and be there for him, she doesn’t sound like she’s done any trying to force them apart, since she let him drive over there and this has been going on for so long plus he on his own broke up with this girl and she still is harassing him. I wouldn’t want my son stalking and controlling a girlfriend like this and I wouldn’t want a girlfriend stalking my son and controlling him like this. && for him to being showing an obvious change in behavior, I don’t know where’s the line between being a parent and just letting a young teen do whatever they want?
Someone above said maybe pointing him to resources on toxic relationships and I think that’s a good idea. This isn’t a healthy relationship and just because he can learn his lesson, doesn’t mean he will by himself.
Mind your business. I would hate to be that mom thst eavesdrops, goes on social media, etc. Leave the kid alone. He will resent you, not the girl.
A bought less is the only way he will learn. You can talk beg or plead with him. He won’t listen. Got to figure it out on his own.
I think you’re right in stepping in and trying to keep her out of his life. She is crazy! I would not trust my teen child to know that this is toxic behavior and to run far away. They’re still kids and they need guidance. He will thank you for it later!
And what happens when she tries to get pregnant by him to trap him?? You need to put your foot down and tell him and her they can’t see each other anymore. I’d talk to the girl’s mom again as well and tell her she needs to control her child.
You are way too invested in this. You need to see a therapist
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Stop controlling him and let him learn himself he’s in a bad situation.
OMG possesive mother and psycho girl friend
Beat her up momma, protect your boy! 
jk (kind of) #mommabear
Lol seriously if my mom was this involved I’d have politely, and respectfully told her to fuck off. That age is already hard enough, without your mother stepping in on your relationship. Jesus woman let the boy learn, it’s the only way. If it weren’t for the bad ones early on I’d have never known what true red flags to look for later on.
Deanna Williams who tf this sound like??
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I got nothing , but I pray your son sees through her bullshit and move on.
Sounds like she is stalking him hun
all you can do is advise then let him see what a real bitch she is
Block her from his phone
I love what everyone saying .
Great responses everyone
If you push too hard for your son to stay away from her, there’s a good chance that will make them sneak around together. It’s hard to let them learn on their own but trust you raised your son well and he will cut ties when he is ready. It’s more important for him to continue to stay open and honest with you then to start hiding things because you don’t approve.
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Sounds like they both manipulate each other and the boy manipulates the mother.
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With all due respect, I think you need to find a new hobby n stop stalking ur son n his gf.
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It’s an unfortunate situation but, we sometimes as parents have to let our kids learn life’s lessons. As long as it’s not a dangerous situation, we can only watch and bite our tongues,give advise when asked for it. As a mother of 2 daughters, been there, done that. It’s tough but usually works out in the end. 
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Have you tried grounding him
Lady, u should listen to your husband
I love how involved you are as a parent . Superb Mom. Dont ever talk him about the girl. Rather do a mom-son date ( do an activity together that he likes ), then steer the conversation towards how he is feeling aboit school, friends etc remind him how much you love him and are his number one suppporter. Share few good laughs . Tell him things about yourself that he never knew . Then ask him what he wants in a mate . Dont ever mention the girls name, even if he talks about her,just listen. Then tell him you trust him and you will always be thre for him. Just show love and concern. Keep up the great job mom.
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Stay out of it. Honestly you sound just as bad as the ex. If you wonder why he chose a girl like that, take a long hard look in the mirror.
I think you need to mind your own business and stop trying to be in the middle of his relationship… I don’t believe for a second that you were monitoring his phone because you were worried about him, you went in his phone because you were nosy and you wanted to know his business… if he wanted to let you know he would have told you or talk to you about it. The right way to approach it would be having a conversation with your son not trying to manipulate him yourself. I’m guessing the reason why he likes manipulative women is because he grew up being raised by one…
Poor boy not only being manipulate by a girlfriend and spied on by his mother but the face that u have plasterd it on Facebook for the world too see. we all had drama when we were kids this what they do. We’ve mostly all had that one girlfriend/boyfriend when we were younger that was a bit phyco and if I had found out that my mum the one person I should be able to trust 100% had posted something so personal about me on a Facebook page I would be asking a relative if I could come and stay with them not a health home to live in ur hubby is right
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My son has the same exact problem
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When I dated a boy just like this girl in highschool… only difference is technology… he instead followed me everywhere… I went with a boy that was a friend for a ride… and he followed us… and tried getting the boy to pull over so he could beat him up… then he tried running us off the rd… he would randomly show up at family events… but stay out side… parked down the rd… super scary… many other things happened… eventually my parents had to get a restraining order…
A year later he committed suicide… and for a while I blamed myself.
You need to protect your son… her crazy ways will just get worse.
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I’d be cautious of him or anyone using location services on social media, if she can track and follow him anyone could. Life 360 is a safe way for the family to know who is where, but we share too much information on social media. I haven’t been in your shoes as a parent and I’m sure it’s terrifying.
I’d at least try to explain to him what she’s doing. Let him know that he can do better . Explain to him that if she is that controlling he could chance losing his friends. If she is doing him that way then she may as go as far as messaging his friends and causing problems between them. Talk to him about not getting her pregnant due to she can use the baby as a leverage over him . Just talk to him and try to get him to see how she is being and if he goes back to her let him learn his lesson then .
Your husband is wrong. This is a toxic relationship and you should sit your son down in general now that he’s “dating” as you put it and go over what a healthy relationship is vs a toxic one and explain to him that it’s okay to walk away from a toxic relationship.
Girl that’s scary and toxic . If it gets worse get a restraining order for him. Cause just like woman can get harassed so can men . And that ex gf sounds dangerous
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I think the majority of us have went thru the “toxic love phase.” You can explain to him that it will become a cycle of they get back together-meaning they will break up, get back together a thousand times before its actually done. You can tell him he’s worth more than the disrespect and the mistreatment, but if he chooses not to listen, be there when things get bad. Just don’t ban him from seeing her, talking to her etc, you don’t want to be a helicopter mom!
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Oh, parenting. Our relationships teach us important lessons that we need to learn in order to grow. Its hard to watch, but we have to allow them that freedom to make their choices and learn their lessons. I would let go of so much control over his media if he’s old enough to drive. Let him take the wheel a little, ya know? 
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- Get off social media.
- Get a new phone and give the number to Only a couple of people.
- Get a restraining order.
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I wouldn’t stay out of it. He’s a child and why is this girl so possessive and mentally unstable already? That’s red flags and he should be told and warned of the situation from your perspective and then he can make his own decision. Doesn’t sound like a healthy child relationship and I wouldn’t want my kid in anything like that.
A friend of mine 15 year old son with through this a few years ago…pretty much same scenario…thisngirl literally talked him in to committing suicide…so please be careful…and stay involved
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Super toxic and scary she seems crazy & I would immediately looking into an order of protection. Shes basically stalking and harassing him. I would be having another conversation with her parents. They need to get her some help!
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You cant make the decision for him, you can only be there for him in the choices he makes. But definitely have a talk with him, express your concerns about this relationship but leave it up to him to decide. It does suck, but most people learn the hard way, he will have to learn for himself just like everyone else. But be there for him through it all, one day he will realize mom was right, but like most people, had to figure it out for themselves.
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I went through this as a teenager, and my mom and I butted heads so hard but she respected me enough to still let me see him… I would tell him that, 1 you trust him 2. For his safety keep his location off social media at all times, his location only needs to be known by his parents, 3. Tell him the truth about how toxic you feel this behavior is. But let him make his own choice. He’s going to anyway. But know you are there for him and he can come to you for anything. You jsut want him to be safe.
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There’s a such thing as a trauma bond. So he broke up with her because he was unhappy but now she’s manipulating him, sounds like even gaslighting (forms of abuse by the way). There will be times he forgets how unhappy he was and chase the “high” of the few times he was genuinely happy with his relationship. I was in a similar relationship where I was lied to constantly, manipulated, insulted daily, even got hit once or twice. That’s not okay, and I knew it wasn’t healthy or that I shouldn’t stay, but what helped me most was having someone there (my sister) to talk to and tell what had happened to remind me that a happy, HEALTHY relationship does not work like that and no one should have to try that hard to be happy or settle for a few good days. Don’t over insert yourself into it but let him know you’ll listen. LISTEN. Not give advice unless he asks for it.
Why doesn’t he change his number and just block her on social media? He just going to learn the hard way give let him figure it out till he comes to you for help.
Mom- Id make sure he is having SAFE sex first (if any!) and then like someone said- LIFETIME MOVIES!!! That will give him a little taste of what real women in the world are like!!! She sounds super possessive of her things and your son is one of those things- he will soon realize and get away from her! But just make sure he’s safe ^^^ and kinda just be a listening ear