That’s it! I want my body to myself. My daughter is going to be 4 in two days, and I feel like I’m just done being touched. I’m a good mother, but I am done being furniture, jungle gym, etc. but how am I supposed to get her out of my face? I chose a good boyfriend who plays very well with her; she will get playtime to the rough house still daily. I wanna be done with it being assumed that it’s ok to climb on me. I feel like my boyfriend thinks that I don’t want to play with my own daughter, but it’s just that I can’t handle all the touching and movement and noise and elbows and knees. I’ve decided it’s simply not too much to ask a child to learn that not everyone is ok with that sort of interaction.
Soumds like your boyfriend has more sense than you she is your child she will never be out of your face welcome to Parenthood
that is just awful. you’re her mom. you’re supposed to put up with being the jungle gym and a play/safe place for your kid. if you didn’t want that, you shouldn’t of had sex.
O Lord everyone is gonna jump on you for this one…
If you’ve never taken roundhouse to the jaw… Leave her alone
If youve never had a kid mash your toes constantly with their little monkey paws, while they try to climb up your body and in the process they flop your left boob out, because the strap to your tank top is the perfect size to fit in their little monkey hand, so they latch on and yank your whole shirt down… Leave her alone… If you’ve never had bruises on your stomach because your kid likes to jump up and down on it because its “squishy”… Leave her the hell alone! We all think this… She just had the balls to ask it publicly!
Don’t have kids if you can’t handle being a mother. The whole package, not just what you want to pick and choose.
if you don’t like it should have stopped it at 2
Ooo I dunno what that’s like…I beg my kids to play with me sometimes. Sometimes they come to me and their dad for games but they sorta like their own space.
Haha mine are 10 and 9 I’m still a jungle gym lol my 9 yr old daughter will legit still come jump on me bc she needs a hug or sit in my lap to watch TV my 10 yr still comes to snuggle in the bed sometimes in the morning. Your a mom! Trust me 1 day when you can’t have that special time with them anymore you will regret your decision to say no. I cherish every elbow and knee in my stomach or back
That is called bonding why did you have a child she depends on you for everything
Well you’re a mother so it IS assumed that you’re ok with that kind of stuff. You should’ve set those boundaries a long time ago.
Sounds like you are overwhelmed. It’s ok to be. Just teach boundaries to her and let her know when she hurts you and say phrases like, “no thank you” along with an explanation. Took me a while to teach my youngest to stop trying to climb on all of us.
I love all the people judging this mom . She’s not saying she doesn’t want to cuddle or snuggle or love on her child she’s simply stating she doesn’t want to be a jungle gym or chair 24/7. As a mother myself whose kids can never sit still when they are all over you and on top of you it’s sensory overload at times and I don’t see anything wrong with wanting some personal space. Just teach her boundaries and tell her momma just needs a moment. You’re allowed to reclaim your body without others trying to guilt you or telling you you’re a bad mom.
It’s ok to feel that way. I was the same way with my kids when they turned 3 yrs old an it took persistence an a lot of no dont climb on me I dont want you on my lap. Gave a hug an set them back on the floor eventually they got the idea an would only come up to me for a hug or snuggles when they were sick.
I can feel u. My daughter is also 4 and i am feeling the same thing these days. Hell annoyed
I wouldnt stop it completely as she will think you dont love her but teach her that there are boundaries and to ask, all my kids know that when i ask not to be touched then they need to back off and give me space, but we still cuddle and play and all the fun stuff they love
Kids need to learn about personal space, it is an important part of life. That being said, you child still needs a ton of interaction and contact with Mom. Redirect her energy when you want some space, remind her of your personal bubble… But also welcome hugs and cuddles often!!
Wow! Maybe dont ever reproduce again…
People are hilarious in this post. She said she doesnt want to be jungle gymed. Not “I cant stand my child and I dont want to lover her anymore.” Yall crazy. Anyways just tell her it hurts you and shes getting too big to climb all over mom. Let her know you love snuggles and loves but dont want to rough house anymore.
Tbh it sounds like you don’t like being a mother. You’re her safe place. Kids are very touchy. This is sad.
You gave away your right to personal space when you became a mom lmao she’s a toddler and you’re still her safe place.
You’re a mother that is part of it
Girl, yes. Mine will be 3 in a few short months and I love the lovins, the snuggles and hugs and kisses and lovins… but the constant elbow to the boob, roundhouse kick to the face and grabbing. That’s my big thing right now, the grabbing where they dig their nails into your skin. I am 12 weeks prego and this kid thinks I am literally a jungle gym! We are learning that it is ALWAYS okay to love on mommy, mommy adores it, but what isn’t okay is treating mommy like our own personal punching bag just because we are being a crazy toddler. It’s okay to just need a little bit of space to breathe. It’s human. My husband gets the bad end because by the end of the day, I am just tired and want to relax and watch a movie and I dont get why everyone in the house thinks I am a pillow. I love them both but momma has to breathe and momma can’t drink wine right now!
Maybe if you didn’t push her away all the time and gave her the attention she is craving, she would naturally give you more space. They grow, we’ve all been there or will be. Enjoy it. The housework will still be there long after your child has grown up.
All kids need to be taught boundaries and about personal space, it’s a necessity for a woman to at times allowed to be only a woman, we shouldn’t be expected to be everything 24/7.
Sierra Nicole…sound familiar?
This makes me so sad for the little girl
Just remember, she only gonna be 4 once. Let her have her time with momma and then set aside time for you where there is no touching. Make it a game.
Why did u have kids.thats being a mommy. Feel sorry for your daughter
I was taught that was being amom
As a mother you signed up for this. Also at 4 years old they should be able to follow basic commands as a typical minded child. My daughter is 4 and listens moderately well with repetitions and clarifications sometimes. Even my almost 2 year old knows what im saying he just would rather do things his way which leads us to a dominant battle I win. I lay on the couch and he knows when I want him to cuddle and crawl on me and other times I just say no not right now. Or I ask my BD if he’ll be ok if I were to go lay down in the room by myself to which he says yes most often. Again a typical minded four year old should know better
Am the same and little one always digs his elbows in and it hurts I love giving him cuddles and playing with him but sometimes it’s too much and am only small lass aswell so he’s always hurting me (he dosent mean to) xx
Sounds like someone shouldnt have children
You seriously need to break her from it now bc hands on in school isn’t acceptable an climbing all over ppl isnt ok either… she definitely needs to learn the meaning of space
Motherhood doesn’t equal being obligated to be child’s jungle gym and wanting your body back doesnt mean you’re a bad mom. Explain to her that it overwhelms you and set boundaries with her. I’d do it slowly so its not a traumatic ending
Sensory overload is real and I know the feeling. Hang in there and politely keep asking her to stop. If you’re polite yourself and practice mindfulness already she will get it
I have a son who just turned 4 not to long ago and I completely get it! Sometimes you don’t want to be rough housed with, sometimes you want to just sit next to them on the couch rather then them on your lap. Don’t let all these people who are being negative jerks get you down. Just because we are parents doesn’t mean we always have to play rough with our kids when they want to or deal with being “gym equipment”. I’m sure you’re a wonderful mother! We just need space some times!
Timers I have a timer I use and allocate a set time for a lot of activities including bath time and teeth brushing. That saves a lot of friction.
Good luck, when you find the answer pls let me know as I suffer from this too…
If you don’t want to be touched or bothered by your kids, for the love of God don’t have any more.
Just tell her sit next to you no more climing on people (anyone) that sets good boundaries anyway so she doesnt think its okay to climb up on laps of other adults too
You are a mother. Be thankful, they are only little for awhile.
Dont have kids if you cant handle giving them the interaction they need. your child wants to play with you but you want you child out your face? im sorry but you just seen like you cant be fu**ed
She loves you. Goodness gracious.
Boundaries! I never really enjoyed rough housing to i told my daughter no. Simple as that. She’s 5 now and knows mommy doesn’t like to play like that but daddy does so she just plays with him. We still bonded just not like that. Don’t let these people tell you otherwise. In my opinion if you don’t set the boundaries then she’ll think its okay to do that with anyone. Example being my grandpa(her great grandpa) of course he’s a little older so i had to tell her she can’t play with him like that.
You might be dealing with some hormone changes or depression causing over sensitivity to being touched. People are so quick to judge. You should set up a video call appt with your doctor Best wishes
Momma I can relate to wanting space I have a 3 year old. Who follows me from room to room. But do you have any friends or family who can help out sometimes? Does she have a tablet ? Coloring books ? A favorite tv show you could put on.
I was like this with my first child, he did turn out to have autism and adhd. My 2nd child was a dream. My third it same always fiddling cant sit still for longer than 2 mins. Older she got the easier it becomes. I just moved her away when she becomes to much but also explaine as mentioned above choose what anoys you first. And work on one by one
Reading these comments just proves we are all different, we all parent different, and our children will mature different. THEY make their future, we can only hope to instill greatness in them. (Best of luck to the parents who bash others without walking a mile in their shoes. Your kids will probably be judgemental, when really we need love and acceptance in this world)
Anyway, lol, it sounds like a sensory and/or anxiety thing. With everything going on, I’m sure it’s been even worse. That is 100% fine, you are not alone!
Take a moment for you. I tend to just take a moment to sit in silence to think/process what’s bothering me. Its usually nothing to do with the kids, and more of just feeling overwhelmed. Not taking that moment could result in becoming rude and snappy…and then later be upset with yourself over it.
Always tell them you love them. Always give them hugs. But remember, you cannot pour from an empty cup.
4 year old do not understand social distancing lol
It’s okay to have a bubble. Just let her know that you’ll take a good squeezer/hug and kiss. And then it’s time to take a step away. And I tell her the she’s welcome to sit with you and snuggle but you’re not going to allow her to crawl on you. It’s okay to want a little space. It’s a good time to teach personal/respectful space too Just don’t expect to work all the time lol good luck
All these people complaining about “you’ll miss it” or “you’re cold hearted”, haven’t been left with a bloody lip, black eye, and bruises from hyperactive, over enthusiastic “cuddlers”, and it shows. Don’t let anyone (including your boyfriend) shame you into taking physical abuse. I have an ADHD/ASD whom I often (even at weeks away from 11 years old) want to cuddle with, but she literally can’t sit still, and she ends up hurting me. It’s never on purpose, but if I tell her she needs to sit still, or watch her [list any random body part], she can’t. She is just totally in incapable. And I pay for it.
… Unless she’s really violently ill, or with fever, in which case, yay! I mean… sorry, but… yay? lol
That’s the only time I get a kid that will cuddle. Even the baby, now that he can move and climb, won’t sit, lay, or sleep on me anymore. I get 1 year to love on my babies and that’s it. That’s all God gave me (or whomever). So I soak up that first year, and then if t,hey come near me after that, I’m like “I love you, but I swear to God if you don’t get tf off me, we gon’ have a problem.” And then I kiss and hold them when they are unconcious. Because it’s safer. For everyone. And that’s ok. As long as they know, deep in their souls, that you love them, it doesn’t matter how you show it.
Personally, I chose to enjoy my 4 year old being like this because it’s how kids are. And she’s not going to want to be all over you much longer.
Hmmmm, that was a very disappointing read😢
You’re exactly right, and she’s old enough to understand personal space and begin reading people’s faces and understand what they like and don’t like. As soon as you’re feeling enough or elbows come out, redirect her elsewhere or get up and move and tell her why. If you both want cuddles, be sure to praise and let her know you enjoy it but if she feels like climbing she can go play something else. She can decide then.
Don’t have kids if you don’t want them touching you…
Also is the boyfriend for you or your child?
YOU should be sucking it up and playing with your own child
I am the same way, I don’t mind cuddling and doing all that stuff, but I definitely like to have my own bubble, I just made boundaries and kept them. As for the others on here saying that makes you bad mom, way to show support, I think this page can be very toxic sometimes. I love my boys and they know it. Not everyone wants to be climbed on all the time! That in NO way makes you a bad mom!
Some woman just aren’t meant to be Mothers, yes you have the right to feel this occasionally but you shouldn’t be a Mother if you don’t like being touched By your children:roll_eyes: WTH I don’t understand how anyone can agree with this post. I feel like this way about other people’s kids, not my own. Some days you don’t want your kids jumping all over you but ALL THE TIME?? the noise the knees the elbows??? like that’s what kids do. They don’t just sit there like a perfect lil silent being
How about some of y’all stop being judge mental POS’s, we all don’t parent the same way and we don’t all react the same way. It’s perfectly okay to have your kids all over you all the time and be okay with it or not be okay with it. What’s not okay is to act like an asshole to a mom who is seeking advice and help. Some of y’all wonder why PPD is so high or why moms are always at their wits ends. Go judge yourselves for being so judge mental
…you’ll miss it when it’s gone…
Tell her she’s too big now and mom can’t play like that anymore.
Welcome to motherhood.
I love when mine want me to hold them! Luckily my oldest is 6 my youngest is 3 & they haven’t out grown this! Soon they will be teenagers and I’ll be an annoyance to them
Personal space. It’s very important actually. It will also teach her to recognise if someone is in HER SPACE . Could definitely help her. I feel like this sometimes too, perfectly normal!!! Xxx
Remind her that it’s not okay everytime she does it. You’ll say personal space or your in my bubble a lot. Good luck my 18 year old insists on sitting in my lap and he’s heavy
For those judging and making rude comments, just remember that her teaching her daughter about personal space will help her child. She will learn about her own personal space, and how to be independent. A lot of us have a hard time with understanding that we’re teaching our children how to be functional adults able to take care of their own… Not to depend on us for every little thing. It’s okay to hold your child to their potential.
Dad loves being jumped on… mommy can’t handle it, they get to rough yes even ther littles. Just talk and explain everytime. Repetition is key
So, I’m not going to sit here and condemn you. The only thing I can say is don’t play with her like that. Like for example, my daughter won’t try to rough house with me but we’ll play tag, tea party, do makeup, etc. Now my husband will play with her in the “rough” way, wrestling, picks her up so she can feel like she’s flying, you know what I mean. My daughter is like this because she understands we’re different and have different play styles. But it’s always been this way for our family which is why I’ve never encountered the feelings and situation on your hands. I would just try to play with her differently and stick with it. If she starts getting rough, redirect her to a different activity.
Children reach out for affection and attention at this age they bond just like newborns enjoy while they are little
I find this question disturbing. I couldn’t be the jungle gym my younger children needed me to be because of arthritis & other ailments. It hurt too much to be climbed on & rough housed with. I wish I could’ve been. I miss playing, rough housing with my oldest. They’re little for such time. Enjoy it!
Teach her how to play in a way that isn’t climbing on you! Sounds like shes bored.
My 4 boys, especially the younger two , 3 and 8yrs old are high energy never stop from the minute they wake up, until they go to sleep.
Sorry if this is rude, but alot of these “perfect” moms just need to shut up. Dont listen to them.
It’s annoying when my kids constantly call out for me, cry over me, fight over me, it never ends. Cant hug one without the other screaming. I havent showered alone in 15 months. They bite me, pull my hair out, pinch me, it’s annoying when its 24/7. I get it!!
And as a reminder to all of you, you can be a good mom and want personal space. So, shut up
That’s the thing tho kids need to be interacted with, they need touch they need attention and once you become a mum you have no choice but to be there for your kid you cant turn that shit off cause you had enough of your kid, this is not hate your reality is you are a mum, she didnt choose you, you chose her. Anyways my point suck it up unless u want your kid to end up hating and resenting you.
I have 4 kids 16,15,7 and 3 weeks and that wont happen till after they out the house. Kids need the touch and caress and love of a parent . Having her not climb on u as much is one thing , but to stop it all together is something that wont happen. If she climbs on u just sit her down and walk off not much more u can do .
I am feeling this right now. Lol
I remember feeling the same way. Constantly telling her I dont want you on me. The day she hopped off my lap and didn’t need to be by me anymore is sad for me now. Enjoy it while she still thinks you are so important.
Shes 4. It’s not forever. Christ at 4 my daughter was attached to my boob whenever I sat down. Its a part of having young children.
Ask her nicely not to jump on you roughly but never tell your baby not to touch you, they may take that as a cue that you dont want to give them affection
So just because you’re now in a role of motherhood doesn’t mean you have to compromise yourself always.
Spacial awareness is really important to teach children. “Can I hug you right now, Mum?”
This can be taught through how you interact with touching her. “I’d like to give you a cuddle, is this the tight time?”
As mums, we have to learn to balance our lives out. For those that are being cruel with their words, it’s not productive. Women require support from one another, not what a lot of these messages are.
Lovely, if it’s a problem for you then you dont need to validate why is a problem. It just is.
Play with her, but also guide her through the expectations of how you like to be treated
I get it. Alot of judgy mum’s on here
I just assume by the mom bashing … you have poor personal boundaries and do not have anxiety being touched too much is over stimulating I play rough with my kids but when I am done I am done I taught them boundaries . I don’t pick and choose when to be a mother some times they have to entertain themselves and that is healthy what is not healthy is the amount of mothers who lack this common sense
I wouldn’t want to be used as a jungle gym either but there’s always going to be touching…she’s four and your kid lol. Teach her to be gentle with people
Girl get her an indoor trampoline and some balls or something. I was the same way. After they get to a certain size, you just can’t take being trampled like a bull in a China shop anymore. Don’t feel guilty! Just get her some indoor/ outdoor toys that she can be hyper and enthusiastic with!
Some of these comments just reminds me why I don’t have many mom friends and don’t want many
Just don’t allow it. If my kids want a hug or a cuddle or to just be held for a while, I am happy to do any of those things. The minute they want to climb all over me and start using me as a human jungle gym I make them get down.
Why are you telling FB? You need to talk to your daughter very calmly. Good luck .
Let me just tell you this my 2 are grown with lifes of their own busy careers spouses and I’d give anything to go back to those days. I was taught when you become a mother your life is over for the next 18 years it belongs to them. You better enjoy every minute of it now because it flys by
Oh Mama. I totally understand. Being touched out is SOOOOOOO freaking hard.
I still have issues with my 8 year old sometimes, luckily he is old enough to understand personal space.
My only advice is to talk to her about it. Say things like, “Mommy needs a few minutes with no touching please” or “I love you, now it is time to calm down. Personal space is important.”
I wish I could help more. Just be consistent with the talks. Maybe try to explain that personal space is important for everyone.
I have 2 boys I feel your pain! It’s a hard concept for them to learn that mom needs space… probably because them come out of our personal space .
It’s like you get over stimulated just like a child does. It’s rough but you just have to be consistent with your approach. Let her know it sometimes hurts you and that she is getting to big to play that way with you. Tell her you love hugs and snuggles and whatever other types of play that you don’t mind partaking in like pretend play (house, dolls, tea time) hide and seek, puzzles or games. It can take a little while for them to get it but just be consistent and patient.
I hide in the closet 🤷
Angeliqua R K Huggins hahaha u an riyah
Some people really need to think every thing thru. Before having children. They grow up in a blink . And you will be crying why doesn’t she call or come see you. It goes fast some day soon you will have all the time you want to yourself.
I tell my daughter ‘mommy needs a minute by herself. Can you please go be independent and find something to do’
Do you have anxiety issues? I feel like this when my anxiety is going crazy, I can’t stand the kids touching me or sitting too close. Usually only lasts a day or so, or until iv had a cry
Wow. Just wow
I can’t even. Your boyfriend is right. You are selfish
I’ve got 3 boys 1 4 and almost 6. I just say “I need space” and they usually get it, if they don’t I just move them to a different room and say we’ll play later.
Have you been to see a doctor for your anxiety? I have severe generalized anxiety and everything you just said, I feel in my soul. I don’t like to be touched, I don’t like people all over me, I hate noise, etc. it’s the anxiety, I promise and it’s not your fault. You are allowed to have your own personal space and still be a good mother. I have 3 children. My girls are older and my son an infant. My girls know that I don’t like this stuff and they respect my space when needed and we still do many things together. My son always wants held and he won’t leave my face alone, but he’s a baby and there’s nothing I can do but grin and bear it until he’s old enough to understand personal space. Hang in there darling!
My daughter busts in on me in the bathroom to tell me she farted.
You get alone time when she goes to bed. You’re a parent. Not having space is part of parenthood.
I think all the women on here making rude comments and accusing you of being a bad mother are garbage. There’s nothing wrong with wanting some personal space and teaching kids what that means. It doesn’t make her a bad mom
Physical touch is essential to her well being and development. This is so sad.
Really? I suggest you let her father have custody wtf is wrong with you😡