How can I teach my toddler not to bite or hit?

Help! I have an almost 15 month old son who has started biting and smacking me in the face. We are trying to teach him about gentle touches. But he just keeps doing it. I can’t figure out a time out for him. Any suggestions?

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I am going through the same thing right now with my daughter. And she’s almost 16 months old

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Do it back. I did. And it worked.

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Change the tone of your voice when you at teaching him right and wrong
I’m dealing with my 20 month old hes tall and can reach everything now so I’m trying to teach him right n wrong on certain things I noticed change of tone helps

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My 11 month is doing the same thing, except he is teething as well. When he bites we yell oww :face_with_head_bandage: loud so he knows and he will stop. The slapping we grab his hand and we will say oww and he will stop and gives us hugs. Best to show tell them how it makes u feel so the understand how it hurts us so they stop. No disciplining neither

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When my daughter hits me, I say kisses not kicks, hugs not hits. I’ve literally kissed her hand every time she hits me. I, also, don’t say “ow” or anything to react. She doesn’t hit me much these days. She kisses me instead :tipping_hand_woman:

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Act dramatic and yell like it really hurts (sometimes I know it really hurts) fake cry let them know they “hurt” you by doing that

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Tell him it hurts. Say ouch!!! And tell him no and walk away from him. You can only explain it so much for him to understand. But if you walk away and show him you’re not giving him attention when he’s acting like that, he might catch on

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I went through this with my kid, act like it hurts really bad. Tell him no, that’s not nice that hurts, and walk away.

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As a former daycare teacher, we tried not to say things like “no hitting, no biting” because saying hit or bite actually makes kids more compelled to do it again. Hitting, spanking or biting your kid back has also been scientifically proven to have negative effects on your kid and can end up teaching them it’s okay to do it. They are constantly watching and learning from you. I recommend showing your kid how to touch gently when they act out, say “gentle touches” as you show them and then hold out your hand and ask them to show you gentle touches. It’ll take repetition and positive reinforcement, but you’ll eventually get the result you want.

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When my grandson bit me at that age i bit him back and he hasn’t bit me since. He is turning 3 next week.

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The ones that are saying “Do IT BaCk” are literal idiots. You’re trying to teach the child that doing that is wrong, not hurt them. That is teaching them nothing. You have to remember that trying to make a young child understand something is hard. Just be consistent in a firm “no” and “that’s not nice” … I used to take my daughters hands and gently rub my face, hand or arms and saying “we have to be sweet” and if she was doing it to be mean bc shes upset I tell her it’s ok to be upset but we do not hit and hug her and that started to work very well. So instead of getting angry and wanting to hit she would want to hug instead

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Do it back… screw what others say about child abuse, like dont hurt them but defo do it to show them it hurts mommy

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So I was told not to ever tell them no hitting or no biting because all they hear from that is hit or bite and so they think that that’s what they’re supposed to keep doing.

Plus my daughter we would just tell her no we would say ow. I remember one time she was hitting me in the face with a toy car and kept throwing it at me and I told her you know no not nice I took away the toy and she went and got something else to hit me with and I picked her up and placed her somewhere else and said okay Mommy’s going to take a break while you calm down. she was 15 or 16 months old when I did that. And she instantly was like oh okay that’s not okay

If she’s hitting because she’s upset about something or she’s frustrated I will try to calm her down you know I’ll take both her hands and try my best to figure out what’s wrong whether it’s she wants something and she can’t express that

this is the age where they start to learn how to control their motions a little more they start to learn to understand them so it’s up to us to teach them it’s okay to have emotions but also teach them how to react to those emotions.

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For the biting: bite back. Not hard enough to really hurt them or leave marks, but enough that they realize it’s not a good feeling. I did it once to my god daughter and she never bit again.

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So pretending to cry helped us she was a biter at 13 months old also she bit her own finger and it just stopped now she is 3 and just playfully bites because she has been a “dog” the last few months

Bite him back it will stop

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I wish more ppl took basic child development & phyc classes. To solve this problem you need to understand the problem. Toddlers confuse kissing & biting. DON’T bite him back. The pain will confuse him. He’s doing it out of affection. He may become less affectionate. You’ll be teaching that love=pain. That’ll cause issues with relationships later. Kids learn by example. Kiss him when he bites you. He’ll eventually get the difference He slaps you either for your reaction or because someone slaps him. Discipline is to teach. Teach your child right, not wrong behavior.

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I know this sounds horrible but the 5th time my kid bit me I told him I will bite back do not test me I have more and bigger teeth than you! He never bit again. Then little sister came and bit him and drew blood he bit her back and no more biting ever again

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My son never responded well to hitting or biting back. (He laughed when I bit him back…) the best thing we did was “you hit, you sit”. Started it around 13/14m and still use similar language for other behaviors now that we don’t like. At 15m your child can sit for one minute and then show you gentle hands. You will have to sit with him for timeout- he’s going to try and get up and he’s going to fight it. You just keep going. After a while, my son would hit and then get his time out and he’d pitch a fit about it until the buzzer went off then he’d say “sowy mama” show gentle hands and hop down to go play like nothing happened at all. :rofl::rofl::rofl:

U just have to be patient matching ur baby never helps , patience is the answer to everything ,

I have really really good
Kind and loving kids , they are respectful of others as well . When one bit me I bit back . I’m not about being their friend just their parent . I think to much soft talk and Babying is what’s wrong with kids today .

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Don’t bite them back that’s ridiculous. I have four kids and every time they bit me I would
Fake cry really loudly. That stopped them. They would be upset that they hurt me.

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The booklet “How to train up a child” would advise you to do it right back to him.

My son never bit but he did hit some when he was about that age (he’s 2 now). We have never done time out, we have always emphasized the impact of his hits. We show him, and emphasize that he has hurt us and we have always said to him “hitting hurts”.
I work as a preschool teacher and have for 8 years now, and this is how we handle it in the classroom. By nature kids this age are egocentric, everything is about them, so understanding someone else’s feelings is very hard. With all of our classrooms we emphasize the impact the hit, kick, bite, etc. has on the victim and emphasize that “hitting, biting, kicking, etc. hurts”. It takes time, it’s not instant but if you choose this method then be consistent. Any time he hits or bites you, tell him “No” in a very stern voice, show him where you are hurt, and tell him “No hitting/biting. Hitting/biting hurts”. Even if it’s a game, no hits, no bites are allowed.
My son started getting it after about a week of consistency. When we were done with our little mantra and our son had apologized (we prompted him to “say sorry” and thanked him for his apology) we moved on. The hit, bite, etc. was over and so was his reprimand.

Do it right back. He won’t do it again

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I found the best way is to grab their hand , when they hit, and firmly say no hit. It teaches them words, discourages negative behavior and you let them know your expectations.

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When my boys were little they went through that phase and so whatever they did to me I did it right back after they stopped crying I would set them down and ask how did that feel when they told me it hurts I would ask them did you like it they replied no last question do you think mommy likes to be hurt … they knew how it felt and then after talking about it they would have to think it’s not just popping them its also having them to make decisions you can never start to early

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After having discussed with my kids, in kid friendly terms, how “ouch”, “that hurts”, “no-no, ouchie”.

I did it back after they didn’t respond to verbal “discussions”. I NEVER bit back, but did tap them on their cheek or spank their hand.

I was still a caring mother, but one who wasn’t going to raise a “boss of me”. I responded with the same treatment they gave me, but more gentle.

The basic action somehow got them to understand what I was saying.

They both went through this “phase” and they both stopped after 1-2 times responding in this way.

Years later, 6 and 4 now, they know when I say “no, ouch”, not to test me or to continue to hurt me.

I

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if you child is biting, is he cuting teeth? this is one reason a child bites. they also bit and hit our of frustration, they can’t express what they want. when he bites, get a cold pack to put on the bite area and have him hold it in place. if he raises his hand to hit, grab his wrist and hold it. Remind him that hitting hurts.

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My mom said I bit her once and she bit me back. I never did it again. My daughter was suspended from daycare 3 times for this. They finally put lemon juice in her mouth after she bit each time. She’s almost 25 and still doesn’t like lemon :woman_shrugging:t2::joy: but it worked. I had to sign a waiver that they could even do it. Again tho it worked!!!

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Get a second high chair and put in a different section of the house to use as a time out space. When he hits you in the face take his hands, hold them down and say no hit, then take his hands and gently stroke your face.

I use to bite, my mom bit me back. I then learned biting hurts. My daughter, splitting image of me, bit her brother once. I bit her and she never bit again.

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My mom got me to stop biting by biting me back. She did it hard enough so I knew it hurt but not too hard. I haven’t bitten anyone since.

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When my daughter was little if she bit me I’d bite her back and ask her if that felt good…after a couple times of that she learned real quick not to bite people because she knew it hurt…

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So I’m actually pro spanking but not this young and not in response to biting/hitting. It’s my experience that when they smack in the face it’s because they want attention or they think your reaction is funny. If mama is crying out or having a little meltdown of your own over it, that could be all the reason he needs. I suggest scaling back your reaction. A very firm, “Ow. That hurts mommy. We don’t hit/bite,” and then put him away from you. No cuddles. That way he gets the idea, oh when I do that I don’t get what I want. I’ve done this with both my kids when I was nursing and they bit. Only took one time for either of them to get the idea of when I bite I don’t get milk.

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i know that whatever works. To each their own. In my opinion time out would work for cases that aren’t a biggie, in this case bitting is more physical so I would have to be more strict than time out, they have to know your mad face lol. Also a big No to a child hitting their parents face never let that go. If you don’t want to spank them then you have to sound serious and scold them. Be tough i know it’s hard on the little ones but sometimes you have to or otherwise they will think it’s a joke and they’ll grown up having no respect for their parent’s.

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My son was about the age bit me on the shoulder…i bit him back.not enough to leave a mark but hard enough he got the message and never bit again

How the hell is doing back to them what you are trying to teach them not to do useful. The abusive parents…whatever works I guess. Lmao

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NO time outs! These do NOT work…it only gives the kid time to think of more stupid things to do. When he tries to bite - just use your finger and thump him on the cheek.

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I bit mine back (not with my teeth though) too not hard but, they stopped.

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When he does this pick him up and put him firmly into his timeout chair or into a corner. And walk away do not allow him to follow you at first put the timer on for 2 minutes. Tell him if he can sit and bite you he can sit in his naughty chair for doing it.

Bite him back and spank his butt. Old school the way I was raised and how im raising mine.

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So my son started doing this and I smacked him on his hand firmly and firmly said no hitting me or biting. …now whenever he’s about to hit me I tell him in a firm voice do you want a spanking? 99% of the time he stops but when he doesn’t I smack him on the hand and tell him why I did it

Kids nowadays need to stop being coddled. I raised my boys how I was raised

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Old school. My little bit one time. I bit her back and she has NEVER done it again.

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doing it back never hurt but taught them it was not good

I bit my daughter when she bit me and she NEVER did it again.

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My LAST resort, when my toddler bit his brother on the elbow to the bone, was to pull his pants down and crack him with the fly swatter a few times on his butt. He never bit again.

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Old school here…do it right back to him…let him see that it hurts…he will stop.

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Mine got a lip-clip and never did it again.

I did the same. Back and they never did it again

I am so thankful my daughters never really had a “biting” phase…

Right, this is what we did too!

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Ever hear of spanking their behind?

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I have a 14 month old. He hits and pinches. He also pulls my hair. I was told if he hits he sits. Time out can work at this age. I dont feel comfortable with doing to his as he done to me. Just because I cant pinch my baby. But if been doing time outside. It’s just a faze it’ll pass

I know this may sound horrible but when a child bites whoever they bite that person has to bite them back in the same way and the same, said they did cases that child not to like my son has autism among other things and that’s what I doctor said do he bit me in the doctor’s office in front of the doctor and she said that you had to bite him back

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We’re dealing with a 9 month old starting that. So far, not reacting and redirection has been great!
When she’s older and explores this phase again, and if the current tactics don’t help, my mom always did it back to my nieces and it nipped that quickly.

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Start smacking her hand a little bit let her know that it hurts she will understand

I try firmly grabbing and squeezing my little ones hand and telling him no sir, we do not hit/bite.

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When my daughter pulled my hair, I pulled hers (not as hard as she did mine, but enough to know it didn’t feel good) … same with smacking & biting … It didn’t take long for her to learn not to do that stuff … & Before anyone tries to bash my parenting, :fu:off … My daughter is now a 20 year old college student who has respect for others & authority, & has a good head on her shoulders!! … Good Luck!!

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The fb page Gentle Parents Unite have some great resources for this… kind of explaining the reason why and how to handle it… if you bite them back, you’re showing them biting is okay

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Grab their hand w/a firm no, put them in their “crib” & walk away or close the door. The less attention and excitement the better.

Do to other’s as they do you

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Bite my nipple I’m slapping you thur the wall toddler true story!

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This Is definitely a hard one. I tried everything with my son. I was consistent and eventually he grew out of it. My other three tried once and I responded back quickly and they stopped. Consistency is the answer. Eventually he will get it.

cry hard , be a big ham. He won’t like seeing mommy crying. He understands why he cries and it will help him relate.

Cry and say “OW! No. We don’t hit/bite.” Say it clearly and firmly, in a low voice. Then remove yourself from him, just walk away, or put him down, or turn your back to him (be safe about it obviously). You can also isolate him in a crib or packnplay, stay within view, but out of reach. He doesn’t get attention when he hurts mommy. Do that for about 30 seconds, or until he cries. Then say “Are you ready to be nice? Can you be gentle with mommy?” And show him what gentle touch is by softly touching his arm or face. If he hits or bites or screams at you, do it all again - immediately. Be consistent. No matter where you are or what’s happening. Consistency is key! If you’re at the grocery store and he hits you from the cart, you say, “Ow, no” etc., then turn your back on him and play with your phone, or walk down the aisle and pretend to look for something until he cries. At the park, put him in the stroller and stand with your back to him and ignore him. Then reiterate what you want from him when you take him back out. Give kisses and cuddles if he is ready to behave and continue on with your day. Keep repeating the process until he gets it. It will take a good while for him to make the connection. He may not make the connection until he is older, but he will get it eventually as long as you are consistent. Discipline is a lot of work. Ask an animal trainer. Results are not immediate. Biting or hitting a child back may work for some, or it may send a confusing message. Removing attention from the child when they misbehave is a very clear message. They just have to connect the dots. They would have to connect the dots if you bit/hit back too. Better to not confuse them. If you aren’t nice to people, they don’t want to be around you anymore. That’s a very clear life long message.

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It’s a phase and he will outgrow it eventually.

Bite him back then explaine that “it hurts dont it when we hit and bite we get hit or bitten back” we need to start teaching these kids that you get what you give bc this world isnt going to coddle them like most yall parents! My nephew is 3 and has bite me one time and will never do it again bc he learned quick my teeth are bigger and bite better then his my niece bite a kid one time and I got her back too and never even attempted it again she is now 11 and will tell you her kk dont play! Stop trying to be your kids friend and coddling them! P.s. my daughter’s pediatrician told me to bite her butt back if she got in that stage when she first started teething.

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You can try redirection. So if he tries to bite, have a teether on hand for him to bite instead, since it may just be because he’s teething and he’s trying to find relief. For hitting try showing him what “gentle hands” looks like by catching them before he hits your face and using them to stroke it, and saying “gentle”, with lots of praise and positive reinforcement for the desired action.

When my son was in the hitting phase I fake cried and made a big deal over it “owie you hurt mommy!” Then I asked him to kiss it better. It took about a week before he stopped, but now he’s retained the empathy I taught him and will comfort people when they are sad or hurt.

Some do it for the reaction so if that’s the case then offer nothing. Just remain stone faced and turn or walk away.

Whatever you do, please don’t hit or bite him though. It may offer immediate compliance but that comes with a price. He will learn not that the action hurts people, but that the parent is someone to be feared. Just know that this is normal, and it will pass.