I would expect your relationship to end. If not, be very unstable.
He didn’t want another child. He isn’t ready. He has a right to be upset.
You also deserve support, but he may not want to support you through an unwanted (to him) pregnancy. He may grow resentment to the child. And you, resentment to him.
I do not see this working out.
I would get your ducks lined up and financially plan a split.
Sit him down. Tell him you are pregnant. And go from there.
Girl just tell him. It’s not like you can hide it for long anyway. And the sooner you tell him the more time you both have to prepare/make changes. Don’t listen to these people. Shit happens. I assume you had your preferred methods of protection and it failed? It happens. That’s not on you or him. It just happens sometimes. I call mine Alexander. Congratulations and good luck!
So I’m just ask… after he expressed he didn’t want another baby… what did you BOTH do to take precautions?
Did he wear condoms?
Did you encourage him to wear one?
Did you consider birth control, to possibly wait until he’s in fully recovered and can be stable/sober?
Pull out method?
Because we all know sex leads to babies. So what happened beforehand to lead to this
There’s nothing to do, but tell him, you know he’s gonna be upset. He isn’t gonna be happy. If your instinct is telling you that, then you know.
There’s a lot questions that need to be answered before advice can be given…
Just tell him. If it works out it works out. If it doesnt it doesnt. He cant be mad at you, nor you at him. You both knew he didnt want anymore and you both chose not to protect against pregnancy. Sorry not trying to be mean.
Okay so my husband would literally say the same thing right now if I said we needed to talk and has made it clear 3 is enough he doesnt want more but I also know hed be thrilled and love the baby. Talk to him. Stressing your self out isnt good for you and you dont even know how its gonna go!
Isn’t that a conversation you two should have had before you had sex? Three questions #1 will this baby have any residual effects from his drug use, #2 are you prepared to care for a baby / child that may or may not have negative effects either together or alone? # 3 will this baby be born with a job to keep the two of you together? There is probably more questions but it’s hard raising kids these days.
okay so im going to throw this out here, hes probably freaking out over the fact that hes not working, he is facing legal trouble and hes probably worried about what happens if something does happen and hes not there?
I say this as someone that JUST went through this MYSELF. I had 2 babies back to back and we found out i was pregnant with our 3rd in 3 years.
you NEED to talk to him before you flip out because hes under ALOT of stress right now, so hes probably not going to process it well at first. he’ll come around and he’ll more than happy to have that baby, but its been a shit year and you gotta give him that. and to add this some men can take MONTHS to come to terms with the fact that your having a baby.
First congratulations!!! I know how it feels to want one and he doesn’t. The I’m pregnant with now the father told me to get rid of it. Once he finally got used to idea he apologized and is now doing great with helping me prepare for him! The best thing you can do is tell him and stay happy no matter what. I know shit gets rough but by no means is it all on you. I was just prepared to do it alone 
if he wanted to come back around then I would allow him to once he got his mind ready. But DO NOT feel bad for this. It’s a blessing momma 
either way you got this and if you need to talk I’m here 
He knows sex can make babies.
In this day and age 2 is enough
I’m just telling you my personal experience. Prepare for a relapse. My ex was newly sober when my child was born and he was a great dad. He relapsed when things got tough financially. He then worked it out and worked way too much and relapsed again… he is now sober 2 years again pouring himself into work. It worries me bc of thr pattern… Its all about the person and when they are ready. He has always been a great provider and he wants to give his kids the best life. I myself found myself pregnant during his struggle and he is very prolife so the thought of termination killed him more than his own demons. He fights for his kids even when he’s having his own battles… praying you find a way through this. There are other options besides termination. Xoxo
Remember you have options.
Don’t force a baby on someone who doesn’t want it.
Congrats. You got this momma. When I had my 3rd, we had 3 under 3 yo. It was rough- yes- and my husband too was “not ready”. But you have to be no matter what momma. Let him voice his feelings and concerns and let him do what he needs to do, but also remember you have to be ready for this if this is what you want. Let him be ready when he’s ready, if he gets there- great- but if not, be prepared for the upset hurt feelings and possibility of him stepping out (I hope not)- but you will need to find some more support- parents, sibling, friends to help you out with 3 kids- it takes a village. I use all my supports- and sometimes I still have to find supports when my usual supports are not able. Its rough. But one way or another, you have to have this tough conversation and be prepared to listen. If you really want this baby, you keep moving forward and let him be as involved or not as he wants to be. Sounds like He has to get himself in check before he can care for others, hes in a real tough spot right now hun and bring out if work is a stressor for a 3rd baby coming is super stressful for 2 parents working full time, so support his need to get his life back on track. If he needs to step out to do that then so be it- he has already said how he wants to move with his plans so be prepared for him to continue with what he needs right now, you 2 sound like you are on separate paths currently with the same end goals but at different times in life for those goals. 3+ kiddos is a life changer. You can do it with him or without him but prepared for all avenues since he’s told you his goals already. But the conversation has to be had, as you won’t be able to hide this.
If your happy, you keep being happy, you 2 just need to feel what you feel and maybe he needs time to figure this out. My hubby was in shock for days and was upset and not ready, but he did get there. But if your SO doesnt, then its ok for you to be happy and you just need to get right with him not being happy. Its fine for all to be feeling differently.
So many negative comments for a beautiful moment in life… congrats hun. Some women dont have the luck of ever getting pregnant so I’d honestly enjoy it. If he doesn’t want to be in its life than good riddance!!!
Just tell him. He can’t be to upset. It takes two for this to happen. He will adjust or not.
Unpopular opinion here, but he has a right to be upset, just like you have a right to be happy.
Without knowing all the details it is hard to give specific advice, but the fact of the matter is, you have to tell him. Its going to be unpleasant, and his response may even be more than you think is appropriate - but he does deserve the chance to process this information like you have. Things change all the time and he may feel differently later on than he does now, but thats the risk you run 
. Congratulations and good luck
I’m still stuck at you made a choice to be in a complicated relationship with a man in “legal trouble”, fresh on the sobriety train with no income and two other mouths to feed… Tell him, watch him fall off the wagon and end up behind bars. Maybe you and the babes can visit every other Sunday. 
Wow, best wishes.
Unplanned pregnancy happens. I had a just turned 2 year old and a 4 month old when I found out number 3 was on his way. My husband did cry at the news but a couple hours later, he was on board. A year and a half later, he walked away and I became a single mother. It was not easy but it is doable. The baby is 26 now and has a baby of his own. In fact, I couldn’t be prouder of all 3. Hoping he doesn’t but is able to get on board with you. I have very little experience with addiction. Not sure if that will be a problem or not. I will mention one new thing. I am not pushing religion but I do give a lot of credit to prayer.
You guys need to use protection. Thats the only way you can do things right. But as for him, if he really didn’t want kids he’d protect himself. Tell him you’re pregnant. Sounds like you both could have done things differently
Well telling from experience … this will prob not end well. He is already having trouble managing his own life with out being responsible for another one. Most likely he will get overwhelmed and walk away. I hate to say that but it’s something you need to prepare for . He said he didn’t want more kids now. Yes he should be protecting himself from having anymore but like most men they leave that to us and if we don’t use protection pregnancies do happen.
I would agree that you need to tell him but be prepared to be a single mom. I hope he doesn’t fall back into losing and mans up and get the job and stays clean but it didn’t happen in my case . Haven’t heard from my 8yr olds dad in 6 years and even before that he was barely there.
My husband said the same thing as did I “we don’t need a baby right now”. So when I found out last july i was pregnant, I was crying the whole way out to the field to tell him. Went in my pjs and all… So scared and shaking. When I climbed up crying he stopped the tractor immediately and reached for me. I handed him the test and said “i’m sorry”… He took a fast glance at the test, set it aside grabbed me and hugged me. He said “hey, it’s ok, we will be fine! Get happy Momma!” I was excites but scared he would be mad. Honestly i think he was more excited than me at times 
Sometimes, guys burst off the mouth their first reaction, but their true feelings come later. Tell him sooner than later!
I’m sorry this is happening first off. But if he was an addict this may push him to relapse. Just take it how it is . If he walks away fine . You do what’s right by u as he will have to as well for his own sobriety
take it one step at a time. he knew pregnancy can happen, you both clearly didnt take steps to prevent it, so this is on both of you. be honest and tell him you do not want to terminate., but that you are also concerned about his recovery. see if things can be put in place to help him stay in recovery and be accepting of pregnancy, and go from there.
If he didn’t want another one you’d be practicing safe sex. Two grown ups can’t accidentally get pregnant. It’s called not using protection. Plenty of options out there.
Ok let me get this straight. U got 2 kids, ur s.o. isnt ready for more. Hes an addict, barely getting used to being sober, not working, has legal troubles (aka more fines and probably jail time) hes in rehab (more money if not insured). U really think this is going to work out? U want a baby when ur relationship is literally on the rocks? His sperm can carry defects from drug usage, so can u prepare urself for raised 3 kids, one that is special needs? Special meeds kids need more time, effort and money put into them for2 basic things. They will probably need physical or speech therapy, plus extra help with everyday things.
Hows your home life? Is he abusive in any means towards you or your kids? Is your house/apartment in a livable condition? Do you have money saved up in case of emergency? Are you working a stable job that can support 3 kids plus urself? Are you struggling to put food on the table? Do the 2 kids you got have a stable loving home? Do they have clean clothes that fit them? So they sleep in a clean bed at night? Do they have what they need? Can you sleep well at night knowing your kids have everything they need to succeed in this life?
Speaking as a person who grew up with an addict parent, it wont end well. I wound up in adoption because they couldnt get clean, stole money from other parent to buy drugs. I went to bed hungry most days in a trailer that was falling apart and was very dirty.
Word of advice: just because its what u want doesnt mean its whats best for your kids.
Mama breathe. My husband and I have 12. First let that be an inspiration. All of mine were born with the baby at home being 1. We all have been in it and couldn’t see out. You will be fine. As far as letting him know, I wouldn’t wait too long so he doesn’t feel a secret was being kept. Maybe have a relaxing moment, dinner, movie night, something to do where you both are enjoying each other and just kindly tell him. Worse comes to worse take a pregnancy test and throw the results at him and tell him to deal with it. You’ll know what and who you’re dealing with then. Lastly maybe talk to a rehab clinician and ask them for advice they deal with the psychological parts of life too when helping addicts get better.
you do you if he cant be there or supportive then you dont need him.it takes two ppl and he needs to realize that. ppl makes mistakes and they can change dont worry about all these negative Karen’s you do what’s best for you and your children
He should have pulled out or used a rubber. These are thr consequences to his actions. Obviously hes not ready to take accountability
Sometimes these things happen for a reason it will either break u or make ur relationship even stronger just be up front n honest that’s the best way to go about it if he leaves u will be fine on ur own us mums have strength we didn’t even know we had in rough times and this whole year has bn a pretty bad year with the COVID-19 stuff look at it as something great happening who knows he might come around kids n babies have that effect on ppl by the sounds of it u have stuck by him thru thick n thin (I could be wrong) but if that’s the case then u got a pretty strong relationship he might be just scared if that’s the case help each other thru it communication love n honesty…
p.s I hope it all works out for u guys
Tell him immediately and when you do you will know where your future stands from the response he delivers then ask yourself questions like is terminating the pregnancy worth keeping your relationship can you see yourself in the future without him can you alone raise 3 children because perhaps if the relationship is strong enough you two together can make this situation work
Unfortunately, dysfunction only breeds more dysfunction. Sounds like they both need help. Her for ignoring a bouquet of red flags and him for his sobriety. Hate to sounds harsh. I hope he is able to walk his road to recovery and the babes are happy and healthy.
Not looking to start a fight but we are having another baby. Digest that, let is sink in and get back to me.
You can’t make him be excited. He was up front with you about not being ready and wanting to wait. You’re in a tough spot, and I’m sorry. I hope you make the right decision for you and your family. Hugs.
Me & my husband have a 4 year old & 3 year old and he told me if I got pregnant again he would divorce me & sign his rights away to the new baby. 
Well he should have been taking precautions to prevent this. It’s not that hard. You didn’t get pregnant alone. Time to man up and be supportive.
You both had sex so wether he’s ready or not he’s going to have to step up or leave. I understand he’s not “ready” but the fact that he came in you says that he just does not want a child. You can have sex and have ways to prevent pregnancy. It’s both of you’re guys’ fault, but he’s just going to be the one that freaks out. I’d rip the band aid off and if he gets mad tell him How you feel. With that congrats on you’re pregnancy and hopefully it all works out.
Wait a few weeks after the miscarrying time frame. Then tell him, maybe things will calm down a bit and ge cant force u to get an abortion cuz u will be too far along. So about 20 weeks into the pregnancy. I dont understand though as to why u both werent using methods to not get pregnant if he wasnt ready to have another one. That was just poor thinking. So now its time to accept the responsibility.
Shit happens boo. Just tell him and see where it goes. Good luck with everything and hope it all works out for the best.
I am just appalled by some of these women’s comments. Saying that just because he didn’t want the child he don’t have to take responsibility. No wonder why there are so many deadbeat dads and moms out there. They both had sex. He raw dogged her knowing there is always the risk. They both have a wonderful blessing that is counting on them to grow up and care for them. Sometimes life throw curveballs and you have to be the bigger person and own up to it. Take care of responsibilities even if you want to or not. I really hope their “perfect” relationship doesn’t end and their SO doesn’t just give up their responsibilities just because they don’t “want”them. Absurd. He does have every right to be upset, and I am giving her the benefit of the doubt of not getting pregnant on purpose like not taking the pill if she is on the pill( which does fail either way) and not telling him and him thinking that she is still taking it, or her poking holes in condom if one was used, but sometimes things happen and children aren’t burdens or a problem and some of you should be ashamed of yourselves.
Just please please don’t abort your baby:( That’s definitely not the right thing to do.
You have to choose for you and the baby and there is always adoption if timing isn’t right there are some many people who would love a child but can’t
I’d just tell him and just go from there. Its better for him to know and have his reaction then have time to think about it. It will be a shock but it’s done now. Sorry you have to go through this
As the cliche’ goes, don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time. Wear a glove to avoid the consequences of love…
My husband and I had plans to wait until 2021 to start trying. Well, June 28th, we ignored the social distancing thing. And we’re going to welcome our first baby boy into the world in March!
If he didn’t want a baby he could have done things to prevent the surprise. This isn’t all on you.
Tell him. It’s unavoidable. If he didn’t want more children, he should’ve done his part to make sure it didn’t happen. I had the same problem with my ex (down to the addiction and rehab). I told him I was pregnant and he turned to meth. He wants nothing to do with his son (and I’m ok with that). Life isn’t always grand but he’ll find out eventually. Better off getting it out of the way now.
Have an abortion or leave him
Two choices…be happy and support his family or be alone and still supporting his family
Of he wasn’t ready he should of taken care of her and himself.
Smh these poor children brought into a world of parents like this
You can be happy about it, whether he is or not. I know its a lot, but you can also 100% do it on your own if you have to. But… give him time… Tell him and let him process and come to terms with it. Maybe he will come around to see it as the blessing it is… if not, you still got this!!! I am happy for you, if you want to be happy for you. 
My fiancé Doesnt want anymore but he said if it does happen he will still love the baby, he wouldnt react like its a bad thing x
If he wasn’t ready for a child he should have been using a condom.
If he’s not ready, he’s not ready, my ex did the same to me, but he wanted the baby, I didn’t, well after I had my baby, I packed up the kids and left.,I didn’t want anymore kids, so, it ruined our relationship, I truly resented him, every day I saw his face
I think use shud ov waited a bit longer as hes a recovering alcoholic and a baby may cause more stress ryt now but ur choice to mke
Tell him straight up. If he doesn’t support you, then leave.
Y’all tell her you should have waited and do what he wants, obviously it wasn’t planned 
and Hell no would I EVER let a man tell me to kill an innocent child. Y’all are messed up.