Im a granny and I wouldn’t baby sit that much if I was working 40 hours a week aswell. No way!
I love having my grandkids but I told my children not to add me into the schedule when working out their hours of work around their children.
It’s not my responsibility to provide care so my kids can work.
I will happily have my grandkids so my kids can go out, go on holidays, and randomly to help.out around their shifts, but no way would I ever want to be the consistent carer. Abd I certainly wouldn’t be paying for my grandkids necessities on top of that 
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He needs to get a job that will allow him to work in the daytime while his children are in school. But he realizes if he does that, then he’ll be the one left with them once they are off of school, seems he picked a work shift so that he has the least amount of time to spend with them, and I think it’s being done this way deliberately, he only has to pick them up from school and drop them off to you. He knows you’ll have them and you’ll watch them for free. You can either tell him you will no longer watch them or when you do he needs to send them with food and snacks, which is thee bare minimum.
Sad when you raise them then their entitled backsides. Tell themselves you should raise their kids too. This is why some ppl move clear across the country. They’re not up for the extra responsibility whereas some will come out of retirement. To help raise and provide for their grandkids. All I know is I’m over the whole children/grandchildren narrative. It’s so Ghetto here I can hardly wait to start living my best life for me.
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I understand and relate its my SIL and my husband CAN’T tell her NO even though he’s stressed beyond belief. Its been a 4 year struggle and fight.
Maybe start smaller and tell him you need to cut back to 1-2 days a week because your just not getting your own things done. And that although you adore the grands it actually costs you more than just time yo babysit abd you simply can’t afford to continue to do it. So maybe the other grandma and you could go a day or two each and he could get a part time sitter for the other two days?
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Just tell him he’s a grown ass man and needs to help and don’t worry if he gets mad he’ll get over it you and your health are just as important
I would maybe try talkin talking to him again, come to a middle ground w/boundaries set. Maybe 1 nite a week & 2 if u feel ok & I would also tell him he needs to help out w/some of the food & leave cash for anythin extra.
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My mom used to watch my kids a few days a week for just a few hours at a time. My husband worked day shift and I worked evenings so she would just watch them during that overlap of our shifts until he got home. Unfortunately, she passed away and we had to figure out how to make it work on our own. It’s tough, but we made it work without having to find a sitter or put them in daycare. Your son can figure this out too. It’s nice to know that he has you if he needs you, but you should be the back up and not the full time sitter. There are programs that can help him financially if that’s the issue. Suggest them to him and give him a deadline of when to have things figured out. I know if it were me and my children needed me to watch their kids at night so they could work, I would do it gladly. But that’s just me.
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He needs to help with the kids things and cash flow otherwise it’s only fair .
You do you. For you’re own mental health.
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wow, That’s a shame. Your son needs to step up and do something to help.
Just tell him you cant do it anymore. I would never and have never put the burden on my mom to watch my kid. Its life. Sorry.
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Help him try to get some resources to child care before you just count him out. He’s a single father, help him. Teach him how he has to leave money for food and how to properly pack the babies things for when they aren’t with him. He’s probably just as stressed as you’re. If he fails to keep his job then that’s just another struggle for him and the babies. Sometimes loving someone you have to endure a little of their load. And times have changed since you had children ma’am, daycare is just like paying a mortgage.
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This father needs to find babysitter(s) who is trustworthy. CPS does not need to be poking their nasty head into this childcare need. Approach this situation with caution, and do not break relations with your son.
Feelings are goingvto be hurt no matter how you sat it.
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Bluntly and directly.
You are being used and exploited.
There are avenues he can use to continue working the hours he does and ensure adequate supervision without resorting to playing the granny guilt card.
the single mum of 5 - 4 of which are 100% in my care with no family support
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A moms job is never done. Watch the grandkids for your son, he needs help. Babysitting in your sons day is different than todays times where everything costs 10x more. also kids arent small forever, so just enjoy the time
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So, make him an ultimatum. This can go a couple ways.
1, start helping or you’ll stop watching
2, start helping or you’ll take custody of the kids since you’re providing for them anyways
Or 3, be grateful. I understand you work too. But a lot of grandparents don’t even get to see their grandchildren.
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I completely understand. It’s hard getting older and grown children appreciate or even try to understand. We are not as young as we use to be. We tire more easily. I don’t think they really understand. I feel very taken advantage of. I know they don’t mean to, but it doesn’t change the fact when your exhausted and still expected to carry the same weight you did 20 years earlier.
I don’t want to let anyone down either.
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I read most of the comments on this post. I understand so many of these opinions. It’s a tough call. Every family situation is different. In this situation I feel for the grandma she’s exhausted and I think her son is taking advantage. It’s not about her not wanting to care for her grandkiddos she just tired.
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Enjoy nursing home when time comes 
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You need to tell him you love him and the kids but you can not keep it up then give him the time you will no longer do it
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You’re going to have to just break it to him.
My mom works 4 days a week and watches my baby on 2 of her days off temporary. At first she complained saying it was going to be too much on her back. I completely understood I also talked with her and told her they are only little once and I hoped she would cherish the time before I moved 40 minutes away. Since then she has been very happy to get the time with her granddaughter. I also provide everything and make sure my mom is taken care of to the best of my abilities. When I am a grandmother I hope my kids will come to me when they are in need and not scared to ask.
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It sounds like ur son is taking advantage of u, which is a shame because u sound like a very helpful grandparent. I think u should give him several weeks notice and notify him that he either pays u for babysitting and financially provides for his children while they are with u or he can find an alternative sitter.
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I agree with Jessica Jostmeyer 100% I would live to be able to help out my kids with my grandbabies.
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Maybe work with him to find a babysitter you both think is trustworthy and acceptable for your gkids?
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You are wrong this is your son. It’s not like you have to work. He is being a good dad he is working and all he asks is that you his mother babysit for his children.
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I hear ya ! I love my grand babies I live with them we just moved in to a big house with stairs
You only have this one life. This is all the time you have. And you can look at it two ways. That you are stuck and don’t get to do what you want. Or you can be grateful for this time you get with these beautiful gifts you’ve been given. Some people see the glass half empty. Some see it half full. The choice is yours.
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Everyone’s family dynamics are different but if it’s only 2-3 nights a week is it really that big of a deal 
I’m sure he never set out to be a single parent as you didn’t either…at least he’s working that’s a plus.
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He’s taking advantage of you - period. The way I would look at it is if he has the balls to do that to me then I have the balls to tell him he needs to step up and figure out something else for his kids.
You should say exactly what you said here.
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I agree, with Angela Smith you just have to break it
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I think you have to sort something out before you become so resentful your relationship with your son breaks down altogether. You are entitled to your own life. You work full time and need to set some boundaries to establish healthy relationship’s with your son and grandchildren. Could you perhaps cut it down to watching the children 1 night per week and he can sort out childcare between a childminder and the other gran. Don’t feel guilty you have every right to have some time for yourself. You’ve raised your own children on your own now it’s time for you to have a life. Good luck 
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Your child, your responsibility. His chidl, his responsibility. That’s how you teach your child to be responsible for his own kids.
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That’s your mess of a son you created him and you stated you were one income family so were responsible for how he has turned out, so the question is why is he like this? Is his entitled behavior because of you? Where did you go wrong as his mother?
But you know what i come from it takes a village type of family so your question i don’t resonate with
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Maybe you could ask him if he could start paying you or other compensation for your time/work
Well we all tend to expect the grandma always there. Until she’s not no more then u realize how much she really did for her kids. Nowadays u can’t trust nobody but people close to u. Just saying
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It’s all in the delivery. Sit him didn’t tell him he’s doing a good job being a single father. Then be honest but also give him a time frame to better manage his work and kids. Suggest he works daytime only so where they can be in pre-school, school or day care. This way it’ll give everyone involved a better routine. He’s your son but he’s also a man. You gotta give then distinct instructions or else he’ll think you’re just complaining and not take your personal time serious bc he’s use to being your baby and being babied. Tell him you love your grands but you want your time to yourself and you want to be a normal weekend Grandmom but when you want to.
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From experience - co-parenting (which is what you’re basically doing) with someone who has a night job is very hard, especially if you have a regular working hours job. First thing that he needs to do is get a day job and then hire a part-time nanny, so that you and the other grandma are not expected to be there 100%. When he does that, you will not find this a chore, but a joy to watch them.
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My parents watched my kids all the time. My dad worked 50+ hours a week and still found time to take the kids to the park or watch a movie. I’m very grateful for the support I got. My parents also took the school shopping and paid for sports equipment. I think you would regret it if you didn’t watch them. I know being a single parent is hard and sounds like your son is doing the best he can. If you are that miserable maybe offer to pay a sitter
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Why don’t u offer to help find a babysitter?
I know it seems rough (the timing of your schedule to his) why don’t you watch the babies at his place? Then it’s his food they are eating… You can put them to bed (if he works a bit later) and you can kick your feet up and relax at their bedtime. Maybe help him find a sitter for a night or 2 per week to take some of that pressure off of you? I see how you need time to yourself, but also, from what you say he seems to try real hard to make it work. Good luck to both of you.
I’m a “it takes a village” type of family. But, I totally understand where you’re coming from, hate you’re in this position… you’re son is doing the best he can with the hand he’s been dealt. I’m sure he makes more $ working overnight. These days it’s so hard to find a sitter, much less a sitter in the overnight hours! If this is a burden like it’s sounds, I suggest looking on care.com for a nanny for those overnight hours. Maybe he can find it in his budget to hire one for a couple nights to take stress off of you & other gma. I really pray this situation works out bc I know your son has no ill intentions by having you do this…he just trusts his babies are in good hands is all and knows he has no worries while working to provide for them. I pray this situation works out for the best for everyone involved! 
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You are being taken advantage of, sorry to say.
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He should be paying you for childcare. I paid my Mom.
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He should reimburse you for all your expenses. You basically have a second job by caring for his kids.
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He should LISTEN TO YOUR CONCERNS.
He is taking advantage of your love and kind caring nature.
Outline your “demands”, Give your son 3 weeks to comply with them. He needs to be considerate to your side of this.
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I’ve enjoyed all the time with the grandkids, but I need to take care of me too and I’m getting burnt out. So by June , I will take the kids every other Saturday, this will give you time to find a replacement and me a way to make sure I stay healthy to watch them grow
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Tell him what you wrote, give him a date that you do not want to baby sit after that time. You have a life too.
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Sad , just sad for the kiddos .
Very gently and try to help him find a replacement if you can. As a single parent with no help from my parents I can tell u it’s hard not receiving help but can hurt more if the conversation isn’t handled delicately
When my last child is grown and moves out, I’m getting naked and not putting clothes on unless I have to leave the house…ain’t none of them gonna want me to babysit…besides I’ve got 3 boys. I won’t be the first grandma they choose (the mama’s mama’s will be chosen first)
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I’ve had my special needs daughter on my own 16 years and for the first time I asked my mom to take her for a week this summer she said it would be too much for her and ya know what I understood I know she loves my daughter to peices but her job is grandma not mommy in December she asked to have my sisters kids for a week so did O get upset when she told me no absolutely not she get to see my daughter more because I bring her up for visits my sister dosent your the grandma not the parents parents find a way its only your job to live those babies not raise them
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This time with your grandbabies will literally fly by. Enjoy it while you can because they are only little for so long. Spend time with them and make memories. Yes your son should help provide the food and necessities but I’d never say no to spending time with my grandbabies.
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Maybe offer one day a week. Then the blow won’t be so hard for either of you. It will also be a blow to the kiddos. I’m sure they love coming to your house. Cutting back to once a week won’t be so bad for all involved.
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Maybe he can work out a different schedule with the kids mom?
Do what my mom does 
she told my brother she needs to have another job so she was no longer can take care of two little girls, and for the first month after she said that” she will have another job” she was going to the gym when my brother arrive home so he thought she was serious so everyday mom was going to “work” but actually she was taking care of herself (but the thing is my mom doesn’t have to have any explanation to anyone she just gave him a month of advance to find a good daycare or babysitter because she gave him a start day of her “Job” so we just to went shopping eating stuff we couldn’t do because of the babies 
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your son is just using you ,he is inconsiderate by not even giving you money for food stuffs or children’s clothes , so just tell him its take it or find a new babysitter
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Seriously consider the positive female impact you are having on those children. They will remember your times together all of their lives. Pretty soon they won’t need you anymore and will be gone. Maybe take some vacation time instead. Tell your son when you need money. He IS your son and you can still inform him what he needs to do!
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It won’t last forever… enjoy them now…
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He needs to pay for his own children’s things! Expecting you to babysit and pay for everything isn’t ok
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We paid my MIL when she watched our 3 kids while we worked. The only issue that I had when she said that she wasn’t going to watch them anymore is that she literally gave us less than 24 hours notice. I had to quit my job, which wasn’t an issue, I just prefer to give 2 weeks notice. Give him a time frame to get his duckies in a row and be able to either find a sitter or daycare.
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You need to take a break. Maybe then you will see things differently
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Your son needs to grow a couple of them and start taking his own responsibility. Life is not a free pass. So put your foot down. It’s about time.
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“No” is a complete sentence.
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Your son sounds like a kid. Hes using you like that because you have allowed it all this time… you made this monster now you want to tame it. He’s working and making money so he should be buying HIS kids food and clothes. Stop doing that. Stop paying for everything. Start telling him to pay for his kids stuff. Then tell him you can only watch them 1 day a week. Because think about tbe kids. They see you 3 days a week its going to be really hard on them if they don’t see yoy at all now for weeks or months at a time. Your son needs to grow up and stop expecting so much from you with no consideration for you or you life or money situation. He can’t be doing that anymore. My lord
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Listen my mom never watched any of my kids and I was 18 when I had my first son. I was kicked out when she found out. I pretty much raised four children on my own. Without my mothers help. Worked two jobs to do so… & paid for daycare. My mom told me I already raised my kids. And wasn’t about to help raise mine. I wasn’t mad at her I understood. And it made me the mother I am today. So say what needs to be said. You’re his crutch when you should be enjoying your time
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This is why I don’t tell my mom or mother in law to baby sit. Mothers have already gave us all of their life! It’s time for you to live your life, don’t be shy and set boundaries.
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Be firm momma. Communicate what you need and express when you are needing a break. Your still his momma and need to be extremely clear and firm on what you need changed.
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Go on vacation for an undisclosed amount of time, That way he will be forced to find an alternative.
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Time to put ur foot down mamiiii!!! N yes am sure u loveee to death ur grand babies but u got a life to mama. Sooo talk to ur son if he doesn’t understand where u comin from then he for sure don’t care about u nor his children. Good luck hunn.
Where is their Mom? Why isn’t she watching her own chidren? You need to sit your son down and explain you just can’t do it anymore. He isn’t being fair to you. He is taking advantage . . it would be different if you were retired and had no job, but this isn’t fair to you.
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You became their significant other parent. If you can provide stability just a little longer, and until they are just a little older or help him make the adjustments; but if they lose you it will be trauma for them all emotionally. If Dad is 100% into the fatherhood and into his job; without having another relationship going on; then help him make adjustments.
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Start having plans for the nights he needs you to babysit , tell him before find a sitter I won’t be home. And go somewhere at least for a little while lol
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You need to base this on how much it would be to pay for 2 kids at a babysitter and how much your son can afford. Things are way higher now than when we raised kids except pay Checks. Also it will be hard on the kids but you also have to consider if you have failing health or something.
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Of the three days you babysit, you tell him you have made plans for the other two days and you can only babysit on this one day of the week. Then, do not be home those other two days. He will QUICKLY have to figure out what to do.
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He won’t learn how if y’all still treat him like a little kid. Let him be responsible for his own kids. Hopefully he’ll learn a lesson
I am going through this right now myself and my daughter isn’t talking to me. And by the way she makes $200,000 a year her husband makes $150,000 and now I am the bad guy because I wa t to stop babysitting and she has to hire someone. It a bad situation when our kids take advantage of us.
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Be honest. We babysit but it is 1-2 days a week. And we are beat.
He needs to find a good daycare.
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Your only job is to be grandma, not the sitter unless he’s paying you. Help him find a sitter or daycare. It’s only fair to you and your.mother
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Trying to say this without sounding rude or insensitive. My parents watched their grands from the beginning. Sis and I always offered to pay them, bring snacks, buy groceries, and they wouldn’t take a thing. So we did things for them like leaving cash where they’d find it after we left, split the cost of a getaway for them, made deposits in their savings, etc. If this is becoming an issue though, you really need to be honest with your son. I would say be prepared for any kind of reaction. Give him ample time to find care, but also give him a time frame. If possible, maybe you can ask around or call and interview childcare to help him out a bit. Wishing you the best, I can imagine this is something weighing heavily on your heart.
You need to tell your son. If not eventually it could affect the way you feel about the kids and that’s not fair to them. Does he do the same to the kids other grandmother? Maybe she would like to have the kids for more days. It’s your time , you have already been down that road.
Give him a written notice that you will no longer be buying clothes and supplies for the children and that you are feeling the effects of your age and after working all day you no longer have the patients for little ones during the weekdays… You need time to recoup to face your own work the next day.
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You raised your kids, let him raise his. It’s not mean. He is mean not pitching in and helping. He needs to grow up and be a responsible adult. And start paying for something!!!