No… bad idea… marry first, test the water see how it plays out. Wait and let the child decided
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Birth certificate says fathers name and signature. The named father must agree and sign off on all paternal rights and obligations. It took about a year for my boys to be fully adopted by my husband.
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Wait 5 years and make sure this pans out first. That’s a lot to put on someone.
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That is way too early to be thinking about that
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By making sure it’s okay with him first. This should be a discussion, not a surprise.
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Let him choose this. Let it be something yall talk about. I child is a huge responsibility and it needs to come from him. I know you’re not forcing him into anything but he can feel very pressured if u just give them those papers.
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You can’t just spring this on him unless it is something he wants. Plus he also needs to know that if it doesn’t work out, he will be paying child support for the child he adopts until the kid is 18. I think you should let him decide before you make this move.
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I wouldn’t do that id wait a whole lot longer than that so please please think long and hard about this before you make a final decision
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That’s way too fast and that is waaaayyy too immature! You really want to give a random guy who you’ve been with for 9 months parental control of your child!? What is wrong with you!!?? I hope your just super young and don’t understand the legalities of this and not actually this airheaded 
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On the next episode of Run Away Groom.lmbo smdh 
She gone give him the papers and dude gone look at her like.
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That’s way too soon! You barely even know your fiancé
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This is not a decision to make in haste. 9 mths is not along time.
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Way to Sooon To do that it isn’t a decision to make lightly. 9 months isn’t enough time.
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Pleeeeeaaassseee rethink this lol
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Wow. You women astound me with how fast y’all have dudes meeting your kids. Close your legs and think about your children instead.
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Go with caution. Get a good lawyer for sound advice
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I would wait years. I can’t believe your marrying a dude after 9 months.
Rushing into things is a huge red flag.
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Girl … you don’t want to do this to soon!! Things are always blissful in the beginning!!
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You don’t go about that. Stop thinking because another man gets on with your kids they want them no they truely don’t wait until you’ve had at least 5 big fat arguments then in the middle of the 5th drop the news
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NEed fathers permission if he is in birth certificate
Its a bit too soon mama. For your safety and your sons…wait. there’s no rush. You have the rest of your life’s togethsr.
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Girl what? If he wants to adopt him, he will let YOU know of the process but 9 months? You don’t even know him fr.
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5 yrs ago my ex was gonna adopt my than 4 yr old we were together a year she asked if she could call him dad w all sat down and talked together ffw to today never adopted but said hed always be around for her was supposed to get her the weekend we broke up and she never saw him again. My advice? Wait Hunny 9 months isnt long enough it only hurts them more in the end. Been single ever since bc i never wanna see that look on her face again. Good luck mama. Hope this helps some
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Please wait 
red flags waving 
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Way too soon for adoption. In my opinion also rushing into marriage too quickly. With a child involved you need to make small moves not big fast moves . and also over a very long period of time so you do not disrupt their life and welfare. If this guy is a keeper he will prove it over time.
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You should go about this by waiting 5+ years and then bring out the adoption papers, and only if he asks for them. Are you nuts?
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And just to answer your question just because the bio dad hasn’t been in his life dose not mean that he has no rights and in order to adopt him you have to go to court with bio dad and he can say no I don’t want his literal stranger to adopt my son.
It’s been 9 months your engaged and living with some one and having them around your child in just 9 months…. So many things wrong with that
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Well first I would wait until he’s actually around for longer than it takes to blink. Then I’d wait longer.
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Huh? how to you surprise someone into a life long financial obligation of a kid not theirs. Doesn’t sound like you ever talked to him about this. You sound weird. And barely know this man.
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Jeepers! My ex didnt start abusing me until We had been together for a year. Give it some time.
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Pump the brakes girlfriend. Does this involve an insurance policy? I’m sorry but I’ve watched too many episodes of Snapped. 
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It is… unwise… to have someone you’ve only known for 9 months - or even 12 - adopt your child. Please wait.
Get married. See if he is still the man you think he is after the first and second year of marriage (at least). If he is, THEN surprise him with the papers.
He can still be a father to your son until then without them. He will be able to be his father in every way that matters. But, if he turns out not to be the man you thought he was, he at least wouldn’t have legal rights to your child.
Please don’t bet your child’s future and safety on your hope that this is the right one. Please don’t be too prideful to listen and take precautions.
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Girl no …just no lol not yet
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Seriously ? Seen too many times this has happened only to have the “love of there life“ walk out after a few years ….think about what your doing for your sons sake
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That’s something out of a movie. You can’t “surprise” someone with adoption papers. He would have to file and agree. In Indiana it has to be done with a lawyer. The bio dad has to consent or there’s a trial. During the process there’s finger printing, and background checks ran. It can be a long expensive process. We went through it on 2019. I highly suggest just sitting down and talking with him about if it’s something he’d be interested in, in future. You can also look up the state laws and process for step parent adoptions.
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Get proffesional help
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If you try surprising him with adoption papers, you may be surprised with walking papers.
As many others have stated, 9 months is way too soon to even consider this lifetime commitment.
I believe you’re still in the honeymoon phase, give your relationship more time.
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In my state the child if one parent is retaining their parental rights the child can only be adopted by a biological family member or the parent’s spouse. If it’s the spouse they must be married for at least a year before they can file the papers. You also have to have the father sign off to terminate his parental rights or if there is no father listed on the birth certificate you must make a reasonable effort to find and notify the father of your intent before it can be approved and finalized. Then it will go before a judge. You can’t just have your fiance sign papers and it be done. If they allowed just anyone that had been with someone for not even a year to adopt their partners child it would cause far too many problems. You barely know this person after only 9 months. The child’s father didn’t stay so what if this one doesn’t either? Slow down and put your child first, not a man…
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That’s something he should be involved in for sure… surprise the child but not your fiance… and for sure wait until yall at least hit the 2nd year. That’s when things get tough and if you can make it past that, take the steps.
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if dads not on bc this should a fairly easy process 
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This is most seriously a decision between two. Not a pop up surprise .
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One, how old is the child. Two, is bio dad on birth certificate. Three, depending on your state, no matter if he is on birth certificate, you’ll have to get “permission” from bio dad… Means DNA test to prove who he is and parental rights taken from bio dad.
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That is WAY too soon! Give it a few years to make sure that’s what’s best
…
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yall probably have to be married for at least a yr, pass background checks, have a home visit, bio dad has to sign off (unless you’re going for uncontested) & references… at least that’s what I had to do for my youngest daughter… ohio
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I have a feeling he doesn’t even know he’s getting married in 3 months lol
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Honestly I’d wait. 9 months isn’t long enough to be with someone and to have them adopt your child. I’d seriously wait until you two have been together for at least 5 yrs and already married and see how the relationship is going then. Once he adopts your child he has full rights to him. Wait it out and see what happens in time…give it at least 5 yrs
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Let them get to know each first my golly whats the rush
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No no & BIG FAT NO 
WAY WAY TO SOON
now if fallin pregnant soon into a relationship (I ain’t sayin get pregnant but if u want that happy fam what u see new couples who got caught instalty getting togerther that isn’t how it would work him adopting your son AT ALL THIS ISNT A JOKE OR FAIRY TAIL)compared to adoption that is different that bio dad When caught quickly …now adoption for life regardless (I’m adopted) and what if he isn’t the one and Ur son gets hurt in all this circus show
Adopting your son after a year is way to soon anythin could go on / down / breakup then what
I’d also wait on gettin married for at least another year … Year and a half n this a surprise wedding or a planned/known about weddin 
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Woah talk about crazy. Dude knows you for nine months and you hand him rights to your son??? HUGE RED FLAG! That poor kid! This is WAY too soon
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That’s abit soon, I’ve been with my partner 8 years and he’s brought my eldest up since she was a baby in arms he wanted to adopt her when she was 5 I said no I said I wanted her to make that choice as I didn’t want to take that away from her, shes now ten… she’s told me and her biological dads mum she feels left out because her her sister which is my youngest with him and her two brothers with his previous have all got the same but different name to her she’s now asked herself if he can be her dad weve spoke about anout this and its something she really wants, so we’re going to surprise her for her 10th birthday in December a decision I haven’t took lightly but it’s her choice this time.
She asked when she was 5 if she could start calling him daddy she doesn’t see her real dad he doesn’t bother with her he’s always in and out of prison and she doesn’t call him dad but I would never stop her seeing him completely up to her but she doesn’t want to so that’s fine when me and my partner have had a few bumps in the road he’s always always took my eldest as his own I was in a coma and life support in June he gave work up and looked after the two children, 9 months is way to to soon please think for your child’s sake.
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Slow everything down there is no hurry 
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If you split up in a couple of months would you be happy with him potentially having 50/50 or even full residence /custody of your son and having to get his permission to go on holiday or move house or have medical treatment? Alternating Christmas and birthdays? Accepting a stepmother parenting your child half the time? Or are you sure that this is forever and that even if you broke up it would still be good for him to have care of your son?
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I would wait
That is not a long to time
At all.
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Is this site even for real? It always has the craziest posts. And it’s always a “Fan Question” no one ever shows their name… never.
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Hold up. The dad has to sign off on that. And, it’s only been 9 months, don’t be in a rush
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I’m beginning to think a lot of these are untrue
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I’m all for a step parent adoption, but definitely give it a little more time. In many states, you have to be married for a certain amount of time (1 year in the state ours was done in), and the adopting parent has to show proof of being a positive role model in the child’s life. There are background checks, home studies (this could be waived), bio would have to consent or you can go to court to try to remove rights, lots of paperwork, and many other hoops to jump through. That’s BEFORE changing the child’s name on everything!! Put a lot of serious thought into this and then talk to your fiance, child, AND a lawyer. This is not a decision to be made lightly.
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Thank God that LEGALLY this can’t be fine as a “ SURPRISE “
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No like way to soon. Maybe you missed clicked and ment
9 years!!!
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9 months is way too soon to be making those type of decisions
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What the hell 9 months dosn’t seem long enough to fully know a person there would be no way I’d be letting a partner I’d known for 9 months adopt my child. I understand the suprise you want to give him but if you wait a few years and do it’s going to mean so much more to your partner. How old is your son? It would be a way better gift for your partner if after a few years of being together your son actually asked him to be his dad. When did you guys get engaged your rushing this enjoy the new relationship while you can that’s what it is a new relationship.
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Fiance after 9 months is stupid enough…but dragging a child in on your stupidity is just plain sad… YOU don’t even know this person after just 9 months…
I don’t know if I would have even introduced my children to someone that new in my life…
Do you have a revolving door for your front door…
Doesn’t seem right in so many ways…
And seriously…
Is this nonsense even a real site…
Some of the most ridiculous and completely stupid and very personal questions are asked of complete strangers on a FB page…
This has to be a joke…
Not just this post…
But consistently on this page !!!
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Please don’t its to soon.
Way to soon!!! You’ve been together 9 months and already engaged and planned a wedding. By the sounds of it you have no clue what marriage actually is… married or not adopting a child that you have not even known for a year is absolutely ridiculous… put your child first not your man!!!
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I met my husband 27 and a half years ago. We met February 13th 1995 (he came to plaster my house)which was a Monday, the next day he brought me flowers for valentines day. We spent the Wednesday together, didn’t see each other on the Thursday and he moved in on the Friday. We were married in the August the same year. My son was 5 at the time. It was my son’s choice when or if he eventually called him dad. My husband didn’t adopt him but my son took his surname. That was enough for us. We didn’t need to go down the adoption road. Didn’t stop my husband being a dad and looking after him.
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Way too soon for the whole thing
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Is it something he wants to do?
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Thats too soon in my opinion. Have him adopt your child on your 5 year wedding anniversary.
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I’m sorry but 9 months is way too soon hun. I know you want a father for your child sense their father isn’t there. Atleast wait a few more years. Till after you’re married. I know you don’t want these kind of opinions. You want to know how to go about doing it. But either way. I hope you do what you need to do. 
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First, you are moving too fast.
Second, this needs to be discussed with him. You don’t “surprise” anyone with something like this.
Third, the child’s father will have to be willing to sign over his rights.
Forth, you will need to have been married first before the court will begin to look at this seriously.
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1 too fast,2 slow down,3 does the child have the fathers last name,4 is the father involved with your child,5 father pay child support, father have legal rights to child? If so adoption will never happen. But one and 2 first. Then answer the others.
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Can you slow down holey shiit
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I THINK she means surprise the son! Not the fiance !!! Or atleast i hooope so lol
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It depends on the state you’re in. Schedule some consults with attorneys that specialize in severance and adoptions to find out your options. In Arizona I believe you have to be married for at least six months but our attorney preferred for us to be married for a year. We had to sever my ex’s rights before moving on with the adoption.
You should have this discussion with both your child (if old enough) and your fiance about this.
And yes i agree … its waaaaaaay too soon!
Too soon to b engaged, waaay to soon to adopt your son! Just my opinion
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Slow your roll there Margaret.
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Whoa… You need to let it be his idea… At 9 months he may not even be sure he wants you, let alone your child. Let it be
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You must check into the adoption laws in your state. There may be permissions and age requirements. Sometimes there are marriage requirements and in some states you may be required to get the child’s agreement or terminate the bilogical parent’s rights before the adoption can go forward.
Don’t surprise anyone with a decision like that. Make a decision as a family.
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Just be careful. My mom got back together with my older brothers dad after my dad left right after I was born. My step dad ended up being "my dad’ just as much as he was my brothers dad. There was always talks of adopting me but we just couldn’t afford it. Thank goodness we didn’t. Cuz my mom and him got divorced wen I was in 5th grade… Almost ten years after she remarried him. And after he found a new gf his mom, my grandma who always treated me like her real granddaughter, passed away. So I tried calling him to see wen funeral was. His new gf answered n asked who is this. I told her. She gave him the phone and first thing he told me was I’m not allowed to call him dad any more. I never really got over it. I see him here n there n he doesn’t even say a word to me wen we run into each other at grocery stores or anywhere else…so pls. Wait a while
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WAY TOO SOON for all of it, and especially when it involves a child, as for adoption just NO not yet
I agree #1 it’s too soon #2 in most cases the bio father has to sign over rights
How old is your son? You don’t even know this man after only being together 9 months… I’m sorry but personally, all of this post terrifies me 
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You just gotta talk to a lawyer. Don’t listen to people telling u it’s not long enough. They don’t know anything because they aren’t in your shoes. You will most definitely have to talk to a lawyer tho… I would need more info about the birth father to give you any more direction than that… Plus, we’d need to know where u love since laws are different in different areas
You should talk to him about this first. Also it takes years to truly know someone. I was with my husband 2 years before I left my kids alone with him. You HAVE to protect your children first. You are all they have!
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Woah slow down! It’s not just as easy as getting some adoption papers!
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Do NOT have anyone adopt your child when you haven’t even married yet.
You never heard that “when you get married everything gets harder”.
You don’t know if you guys will last and he may find a new girl and family of his own when you break up.
Do not put your child threw this!
Sorry 9 months? I have been with my partner almost 8 years… My eldest was 14 months old and I was pregnant with my second oldest of 2 months… We have 2 children ourselves together too, my eldest 2 only no him as being their father but I still haven’t let him adopt them and their father has never been in the picture … I think 9 months is a bleedy joke fucking hell your still getting to no each other?..
You havnt even been with him for a year
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I feel this is a “if you adopt my child, we will be together forever” type of vibe.
Just like if a girl got pregnant with a baby to hold there partner.
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9 months? U don’t know someone in and out after 9 months…your child is ur everything u can’t just ask someone uv known for less than a year to adopt them 
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That’s not a decision you just spring on someone. That’s a very very big thing not to be taken lightly. You definitely don’t just surprise someone with adoption papers. You need to talk to him about it first. Get his take on it. I agree it’s too soon to be trying to get this man to adopt your baby. You two are still getting to know each other. You’re still learning how to be a couple. Everyone moves at different paces and that’s completely fine but you so need to slow down when it comes to your child
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Allow your son to make that choice honestly…
He can still have that fatherly role without you bringing out papers.
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Stop, slow down, and wait.
And honestly let the child decide when he is older.
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He needs to surprise you by asking to adopt your son, not the other way around.
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You’ve been with this guy less than a year! You barely know him!! What the hell?! I bet you’re the type that lets you kid meet the dude on the first date and tell your kid you’re going to make him his new daddy.
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First off don’t listen to anyone . My hubby and I got engaged after 2 months being together . Married 35 years this past January . Second the father has to give up his rights first to even think about it . Third talk to the guy first about it . Fourth in most states that said child must be 13 to even get adopted . Fifth get a lawyer .
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Wow can’t believe what I’ve just read. Woman need to start putting their kids first instead of new men that you hardly even know. I feel sorry for your son. Lifes not a sprint.
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I wouldn’t do that only knowing him for 9 months. On top of that, he didn’t ask to adopt your child did he? Don’t assume he wants to.
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Give y’all some time. Your relationship is still so new.
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