You need a lawyer to guide you.
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First ask your son if he wants your fiancé to adopt him. THAT should be your first step. You never said how old they are so I am talking broadly. That REALLY needs to be something that he should decide for himself. Is his dad just not around or has he signed rights away? I don’t think he can unless that has happened. I may be wrong. I’m sorry but nine months sounds pretty quick to want him to adopt your child… I would wait until your child can decide if they can’t already and go from there. You can’t replace who his father is. No matter how hard you try. He can still be a father figure without legally being his father. Slow down and ask your son. Because at the end of the day that’s whose opinion matters. If he isn’t old enough to decide wait.
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Get a lawyer babes , they would be able to help you out more than most of us could I’d think .
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9 months 
id wait to get to know him mpre first before giving him parental rights
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Together 9 months, getting married, adopting your son.
PUMP THE MUH FUGGIN BREAKS 
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9 months, naw baby just get a dog🤷🏻♀️
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You do not. He has to seek that out himself.
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For me, that’s too soon.
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Wait until you’ve been married a couple of years…
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What in the Jerry Springer Show did I just read?
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9 months is wayy to soon for a lifetime commitment! You might really want to rethink this… this def isn’t at all smart thinking!
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You literally just met this dude. You have yet to pick a man that will stay in your life more than a few months how about don’t drag your innocent child thru your codependent bullshit
9 months may sound super fast to some (most) but you can’t put a time on things like this.
When you know, you know.
My fella and I have been together 14 months, we moved in together after 2 months, he wanted to adopt my children soon after that.
We looked into it, and there’s alot that has to happen before the courts and everything makes it official.
But, when you know, you just know. Sometimes you click with someone right off the bat.
Just make sure this is what you and him both want. This isn’t like getting a new car/house, this is a life long commitment that you cannot erase.
Good luck to you!
You wait a few years… maybe like the 6th father’s day you guys are together? This year maybe a baseball with his handprint on it or something.
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I know it’s lovely your getting married and it’s a lovely idea but I would definitely wait a while before giving him rights to your son. If it doesn’t work you and your son could be screwed. He would have rights to your son and could use that against you if things don’t work out. Your heart is in the right place but you have to protect your son. Their is no harm.waiting a few years to do this as if he is the perfect step dad he will be there zx
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Sounds like double child support when this doesn’t work out 
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First the relationship is new give it time, second you cannot have legal adoption papers drawn up as a surprise. Has your fiance said he wanted to adopt your child? 3rd if though bio dad is not in the picture I assume he is still alive therefore he can still fill the fatherly role in the future. He would have to relinquish his rights to the child before your fiance can take on that responsibility. If he legally adopts your child and things don’t work out with yall then he has legal rights to your child for the rest of the child’s life. This is a huge decision for you, for him and especially your child. This is not something you can reverse if it doesn’t work for you.
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You don’t never surprise someone with adoption papers!!
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That’s rushing things to quick all of it
I would definitely wait to see how it goes with him first but I’m not here to judge so we’re I live you would have to get the father to sign over his rights to the step dad
Wait listen to everyone. Make sure your married is gonna work out. Some guys change for the worst once the I do are done. His father may come around at some point. Don’t rush it. I’m not one that would even consider this with any child. I don’t feel like it is wise.
It doesn’t work like that. Lol
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Umm that not a surprise thats a serious commitment not saying marriage ain’t but you might wanna talk about it
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Sorry but this should be a decision your fiancé should be a part of. Even though your getting married the relationship is still new. If your surprising him and haven’t had a conversation about this before you could be cornering him into something he is not ready to do.
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Mmmmhmmmm … You don’t surprise someone with adoption papers the way you surprise someone with cake and balloons.
I don’t think just because bio dad isn’t there that the child can just be freely adopted without both parents consent unless dad is dead, considering he would have to sign his rights away. Plus… It’s super sketchy that you’re willing to have someone you haven’t even known for a full year be 100% responsible for your child. You guys haven’t even been together long enough to have a major disagreement and you want to give this guy rights to take your child?
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Wait a bit. Its barely been a minute.
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Wtf is this for real ? 9 months ??? Gtfoh ! THAT IS NOT HIS CHILD !!! 9 MONTHS IS NOTING! You definitely don’t surprise someone who is NOT the father with adoption papers!! That’s is his decision not yours by yourself.
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9 months?! You should wait some years to make it a legal thing.
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You don’t lol. My personal opinion if he is wanting to do that later on(after you guys have actually been together awhile)wait for him to bring it up. Thst isn’t just a surprise. That type of stuff could push somebody away due to them thinking you are pressuring them to commit to something they aren’t ready for. I think you need to slow it down and give things time.
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No ma’am. Slow down.
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It would take years to even get the adoption. My husband adopted my son and the process was long. He’s been in my sons life since he was one. Just finalized 2 years ago… my son is now 9 lol.
Too soon in my opinion but hey it’s your choice. Talk to your finance first because this isn’t something you just surprise someone with. Also, dad will have to have sign rights over.
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Wayyyy toooo earlyyyyy!!
A child is not a puppy
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Adopting?? After 9 months?? 
Lawddd it took me that long to pick a permanent pediatrician for my son
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I agree…that is WAY too soon. You barely know a person after 9 months, you may think you do, but you don’t.
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Have you thought about that fact that if you were to let him adopt your child that gives him full rights. He can literally take your child and there is nothing you can do about it. Please don’t jump into letting someone you haven’t even known a year adopt your baby.
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So, I get it to be honest my husband adopted my kids after 2 years together. Everyones situation is different. We started the process after 1 year together, but we had known each other for years. However, my first husband signed his rights away to our 4 kids at our divorce ( bc his girlfriend couldn’t handle them, but that’s another story) any way. So our process was a little different. But it’s definitely a process and you need to get him involved. It has to be something he wants too as he has to go through a huge process including ( in our case) a home visit, quite a bit of cash, and a visit to court for the judge to make the final decision. (That’s was even though my ex had signed his rights away) That being said my husband now wanted to adopt the kids within a few months, but he had known my kids since my oldest was 2, since he was my friend. So he was not a brand new person in their life either! - my advice is to talk to him gain perspective, because ultimately he has full rights to your child once the adoption goes through. Reach out to an adoption attorney( we used one and is definitely worth it) he can give you your states requirements. Definitely make sure you understand and are ready for all it entails and that he is too!! It’s. HUGE step you can not take lightly
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Absolutely not. Slow your roll.
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You have to remember you are giving this guy, you’ve known less than a year, rights to your child. The same rights you have. You can’t undo an adoption if things don’t work out. He’ll have the right to take him for the summer, introduce him to his new girlfriend, claim him on his taxes, and get him a passport. If something happens to you, the kid is his. He can move him away from your family, place him for adoption with another family, change his name. He can ship him off to his crazy uncle in Idaho for vacation. The love of your life could quickly change to your worse nightmare.
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I would not do that. First off 9 months is to early. Secondly, if yous end up getting divorced after married you will have to fight him for custody of your son… better to have it just as a step son imo
Surprise adoption….
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It’s a long process. Chill
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Most states u have to be married for so long before a judge will do the adoption. I’ve been through it but good luck
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A judge will not do it. Way to soon. My husband adopted my daughter but we where married and been together for years. You also have to have a lawyer. You need to think about that.
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Agree with everyone else on waiting a beat. Let the child adjust to all the changes I feel like the child/ren involved should be a part of the decision as well but you definitely don’t want to give someone else rights to take your child so quickly and it’s a process that he would have to be involved in you could write him something beautiful letting him know where your heart is and that it is a future intention and what you hope you can do tog on your journey to becoming a family. Take time to get to know his family.
You relationship needs to develop its own legs to stand on before involving a legally binding relationship to your child. You can get divorced that child can’t unadopt itself.
Also you might have to bring the actual father back into your business to even do this and I’d wait until you are ready for the mess that make. I’d not want to do that before the honeymoon is over either.
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You don’t. You make sure everything between you is going to work first. Make sure he is actually going to stay a good father, make sure your son wants this to happen. How old is your son? He needs to be able to voice this is something he understands and wants.
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- it’s barely been a hot minute since you met this guy. 2) “surprise” adoptions aren’t a thing. Adoption is literally taking responsibility for another human being. What happens if you and this guy break up? 3) see 1 and 2.
Taking a child under his wing and becoming fully responsible for a child are two very different things. Give it time and also discuss this with your son when the time comes. My dad died when I was 13. My mom remarried the greatest guy ever. They were married until he died 29 years later. When he asked me about adopting me, I made it quite clear that I did not want to be adopted. Nothing against him. He was an awesome step-dad and I loved him dearly, but I did not want a replacement dad.
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first get a lawyer, whom will have to notify your son’s father & he has to turn over his rights. But I would really wait to see if this guy you are suppose to marry is truly really the one.
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9 months? I think you should 
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Think I would discuss it with him first
It shouldn’t be a surprise, he should take the steps to adopt when he’s ready
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Lawyer & court
& You are going to have to prove abandonment or get the birth father’s permission.
Wait til you guys have been together for long time and on a big anniversary do it like a ten year or something. By then you definitely have a good idea who that person is and how he is with your son too
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Only 9 months? I’d relax a while, just because you’re getting married doesn’t mean things will work out. I’d give it time… also I highly doubt any judge would allow that to happen only after 9 months of being together. Don’t know where you are, but in Ireland it’d want to be a few years at least of living together and the other parent would have to sign their parental rights away
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Him adopting your baby has major consequences and gives him major rights. I would definitely want quite a bit of history with this person before I allow them those kind of rights with my child. 9mo? That’s nothing in a lifespan. Why rush? Doesn’t do anyone any favors and in fact could do harm
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As a person who was adopted by my mother’s EX husband, please take more time before you make the decision. I’m not saying you will end up in divorce but we never know what could happen. A marriage can end in divorce but an adoption is permanent and will follow your son for the rest of his life.
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That’s a wild surprise
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I’ve been with my man 6 years and not once have I thought about it
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You need to slow your roll and speak with a lawyer first. You’ll have to strip the bio father of any rights. You don’t surprise anyone with an adoption. Also this is something that the child should want not you nor the fiancé. You barely know this guy so maybe just wait. Really you have no idea who this guy is as a person wait until you know who he is when you’re in the nitty gritty parts of life. Not the I’m in love honeymoon feeling.
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Sounds like your over compensating for his biological father not being in the picture.
Don’t make long-term decisions for your son when you are in the honeymoon state of your relationship! The honeymoon state doesn’t last forever. Wait to see how he parents after years, tears, argument and disappointment before you make that decision.
Coming from a married woman in a blended family!
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I’d put off the wedding for a few years. You arent out of the honeymoon stage
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That seems a little too soon. I would wait at least until you’ve been married a year. But I’m pretty sure the birth father will have to sign over all parental rights and you would not qualify for any child support from him once that’s done.
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Bro, that’s a great way to get unengaged lol. Idk how old your kid is, but the child should absolutely have a say and if that means waiting until they are in middle school and can really comprehend what that means then so be it. Blended families can work, you don’t have to force anything down your child or this man’s throat. I’m assuming you introduced your child to him right away, even then, they haven’t even known each other one year. Wtf is happening that people really think about this?
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If your son has his dad on the birth certificate you will need him to give up parternal rights, need a lawyer and judge. Regardless you need a lawyer
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I wouldn’t allow adoption until after the marriage… but there’s also a lot you need to look at… If you two divorce he could get custody of your child as well as child support & other parental rights like claiming him on taxes. You might want a little more time with this man before you allow him to legally bind himself to your child.
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It could be a wonderful surprise for your son but not your boyfriend/ future husband. Wait until you guys have been together a few years before even discussing this. Plus, this is his decision. He may like your kid want to marry you but not be ready to adopt.
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Stop telling her to slow her role this is what she wants she asked how to do it not if she should do it. I want the same thing for my kids and I’ve been with my husband 1 1/2 years he financially and emotionally supports them and it’s something they want to. So much judgemental here.
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You guys are still in the honey moon stage wait until the seven year itch .
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I’d run lmao did you even talk to ur kids fatger is he in the picture or not because if he is I don’t think he can adopt ur kid.
That’s a HUGE deal. Time doesn’t always tell all but I would definitely be waiting longer. You haven’t even been with this guy for a year
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SMH you don’t it’s only 9 months stop being dumb. Plus you will need the dads permission if on bc🙃 some of you women are so quick to pin your kids on new men. Grow the fu** up
You really need to slow down you barely know this guy be with him for a few years because right now it’s just the honey stage wait until you know him for a few years. Your son should want this and be able to make this decision. The father rights has to be taken away. And I wouldn’t rush this. I’d definitely wait for a few years before making any decision. Just slow down and get to know him and let your son make that decision because obviously your son doesn’t know him very well
Just slow down and enjoy your time with him.
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Give it 2 or 3 years
I would let it be his decision and idea.
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My state won’t even consider a child being step parent adopted until the parents have been married a year. So first you need to look into your states laws regarding step parent adoption. And it can be super hard if the brio parent is on the birth certificate.
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Wait and see what your child wants.
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Adoption is not something to surprise someone with, he may not even want to adopt your son. Adoption is something that you discuss before starting the process. If he adopts your child he has the same legal rights that you do and it can’t be reversed if things don’t work out in your marriage. He will be able to take your child anywhere that he pleases, sign legal documents for him, get a passport for him, change his name, fight you for custody, leave the state with him without your consent, etc. Usually you have to already be married before a judge will consider it. Also, you’ll need a lawyer, and if he has a father on his birth certificate that man will have to sign over his rights to you. I really think you should discuss it though bc if you try to surprise him with this he may not be excited about it.
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I know at least in the state of Ohio you have to be married for at least a year before he can adopt your child.
Well for starters, you have to be married. And some states have an amount of time you need to be married before a step parent adoption can take place.
But secondly, I really think you should wait. I’ve been with my fiance two years. And a lot of people say we’re still in the honeymoon stage. Realistically that stage could last your entire relationship, so that has nothing to do with it. But. You need to make sure thats something your child wants. My son is 7. His sperm donor hasn’t had a thing to do with him since before he was even born. My fiance brought up adopting him some day. But now my son likes telling people that he doesn’t need a dad and he’s alright without one. Which I loveeeeeee about my kid.
So, seriously take your kiddo into account and what they want.
Ummmm moving a little fast
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I would honestly wait until your child brings it to you.
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I think this is a conversation you need to have with your son.
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This needs to be his idea, NOT yours.
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I would definitely talk to him before you just surprise him with adoption papers, also wait until your child is old enough to make their own decision. You two haven’t even been together for a year & once you get married you’ll see who he really is so I’d just wait.
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As an adoptee this is icky… comes off as you wanting to gift your son to your new man… ugh… gross in so many ways.
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That’s something your child should get a say in. Plus it’s not a suprise type thing. It’s a big deal and need communication before hand. Most states won’t allow it until married a year ans maybe other criteria depending on your situation. Usually the birth father (if on the birth certificate) has to terminate his right or be proven in court to be non existent (depending on your state). Adoption takes time and theres fees .
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NINE MONTHS?! Whoa. What do you even really know about this person in nine months? But you’re like here’s my kid. Slow the heck down.
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Wow moving way too fast!!!
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It’s great that he has taken your son under his wing and is treating him as his own BUT hold off on the adoption. You guys have not been together very long and it’s important to remember that once he adopts YOUR son, he will have equal rights as you- even if you get divorced.
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You need to be married for over a year before they’ll consider letting him adopt him. But you’ll have to have terminated your son’s biological father’s parental rights before you even start the process of adoption. Definitely don’t throw it up on him especially so dang soon. You’ve known him for 9 months you’re already rushing into marriage with him now you’re wanting him to adopt your child. If things don’t work out in a year and he has adopted him… he has all the rights that you do and can get custody of him and child support from you and prevent you from having your child. Just wait and let things work out slowly.
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I would wait til the kid makes the decision to let him adopt him.
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Where’s the Bio father? He will have to sign his rights away, than all you’ll need to do is call a lawyer.
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How long have you known this man? Yall have been together for 9 months? I’d be waiting to make sure he’s a good guy before signing any papers for my kids.
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This is not a surprise you would spring on people. You need to slow down. You sound rather desperate!
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Don’t go the adoption route.
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Adoption papers aren’t really meant to be a surprise. 
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How long has this man been in your sons life, you said you’ve been with him for 9 months. Unless you introduced and moved him in the first date, he doesn’t really know your son and your son doesn’t really know him, take some time to breath bc sometimes whirlwind romances are breath taking and magical, some people’s true colors come out to play after they get comfortable!
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I would not recommend doing this.
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