How can my husband and I fix our marriage?

My husband and I have entered a rough patch in our marriage & I thought about divorce. I decided to stick it out & support my partner through some of his hardest times. However, during this it made my partner feel very insecure of the marriage. He told me he was a post prenup signing away my rights to child support & alimony. I got legal advice & a therapist both told me no. In many cases this isn’t even legal. My husband is now saying he wants out of the marriage but also is taking no action besides not wearing his wedding ring.

125 Likes

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can my husband and I fix our marriage?

Get lawyer don’t sign nothing…

13 Likes

Do not sign ANYTHING

11 Likes

Sounds like he’s already done. I would get a lawyer, continue with therapy for yourself, ask if he would consider a marriage counselor, if he says no, there’s not much you can do to change things if he won’t make an effort. It has to be both partners working to make it work. One cannot do it alone

13 Likes

You can’t make someone stay who doesn’t want to unfortunately. You can always recommend counseling but he sounds pretty checked out

10 Likes

Yes but he’s got to want too as well, go seek some marriage counselling if you both want to work on your marriage. If he’s not willing, seek advice from a lawyer.

4 Likes

He can’t legally get out of child support. I wouldn’t sign a damn thing, but either way child support cannot be waved if you want to pursue it. The only way that would ever be possible is if later you remarried and the new spouse wanted to adopt the child and your now husband agreed and signed away his rights. Otherwise he’s going to have to help pay for his child.

Cuz he got himself a girlfriend…

8 Likes

Do Not Do It!!! Huge red flag

Marriage counseling but you both have to want to save the marriage

Hope for that best but plan for the worst!

Do y’all go to couples counseling? Once the trust is broken, it is hard to forgive and forget.

You said you have thought about divorce. Did you tell him you wanted a divorce?

You said you decided to stay with him during HIS hardest times.

Without knowing the full story, it’s hard to advise. Which is why I suggest some intense therapy, for BOtH of you. Individual and couples.

1 Like

protect your assets. spend an hour or two to write everything down and date it, You deserve the best , but get focused, keep records… have a perfect direction…

12 Likes

Get a lawyer; don’t discuss anything else with him or say anything about the marriage/divorce. You need to have a mindset of taking care of yourself and children, and being a single parent. Anything you say at this point could be brought up in court and you don’t want to go through the he/she say stuff.

9 Likes

File a divorce. He told you what he wanted so make sure u get child support and alimony if u want it. Get a lawyer don’t let him off the hook that easy.

7 Likes

Get yourself a lawyer. Likely he’s cheating and trying to get out with the best advantage for himself he can. Save yourself.

2 Likes

Don’t not sign anything

1 Like

If a men is trying to get you to sign stuff, so he would never have to pay obviously he is up to something… I would dare say his about to walk himself out or his cheating and covering his ass if you leave him when you find out… by signing he knows he would never have to pay child support if busted in his Web of lies…

He said what he wanted so get a lawyer

3 Likes

I lawyer up! Don’t sign anything. If you stay for a while to make a plan to leave DO NOT get pregnant!

9 Likes

Do not sign anything. Get yourself a lawyer.

1 Like

You said he says hes done… does he want to fix it?

Let him go! He’s not in it

4 Likes

If you both want to fix things, marriage counseling.

If not, speak to a lawyer & get your things in order.

2 Likes

Let him go. You can’t control others. Get support yourself. Don’t be rude or act out. Get yourself healthy. Don’t fight to keep someone that wants to go. They will find out soon enough what they lost. If he asks to come back, you get to decide what YOU want in a healthy way.

Sounds like he’s already out the door. Child support is NOT for the custodial parent it is for the CHILD. It’s time to separate and go to coparenting counseling!

9 Likes

A great book To Love and respect .
Two great movie are
Fire proof and war room. Well
Worth the time for all 3

2 Likes

By not getting advice from stranger online that don’t know either of you at all…:man_shrugging:t2:

5 Likes

Start hiding a little money. Don’t sign anything. Get all your finances in order. Know where every penny is going and keep track. You’ll need paper trails in case something happens.

11 Likes

Does he want to fix it? You can’t do it alone.

3 Likes

Look out for you, he apparently is a user and will use you then throw you away

2 Likes

Interesting how the first thing he did was say he won’t support his kids!

7 Likes

Kick your to the curb. Protect yourself and children. He’s already moved on. Bless you and your family

3 Likes

I’d start with counseling before jumping to divorce.

1 Like

Get an attorney, stash money away if possible, sounds like he’s made up his mind, is it possible someone else is involved, why isn’t he wearing wedding ring

3 Likes

Depending on the state you may not be entitled to alimony. Like here you don’t get it unless married 10 years. As far as child support that’s a douche move on his part to try to get out of paying unless the kid isn’t his. Post nups are only legal if you both sign. So don’t sign. In reality it doesn’t sound like it can be fixed. If you work save money aside, if you don’t work try to find a job and put money aside

1 Like

Also the book Love Dare

You don’t need that headache. You can’t fix your marriage is ur doesn’t wants to fix it. Only you can do you. He is very selfish and very arrogant. He already showing you his true colors. So that being said: pick up your crown and don’t let anyone makes you feel less than. Is he doesn’t wants to be in the marriage, you can’t make anyone stay. This time is all about you and your children. You can’t safe him.

2 Likes

Most States will let them sign to say they don’t have parental rights but they are still made to pay child support. Sounds like he doesn’t want to even try to fix things. Don’t drag yourself down from this. Move on and make a happy life for you and your kids.

3 Likes

Don’t sign anything!
If he’s done then move on, but do it in a smart way. Get your ducks in a row first.

2 Likes

Her has a girlfriend

1 Like

I don’t think he cares about you or the marriage, I think he just doesn’t want to pay child support and alimony - which ironically he does by being married.

3 Likes

File for divorce. Get the child support and alimony and move on

8 Likes

It sounds like a toxic power struggle on his part, have your counselor and lawyer give you advice.

1 Like

If he doesn’t want to try to salvage ur marriage then it’s time to throw in the towel u can’t fix the marriage on your own and seems like pulling an asshole move he thought he would sign don’t sign that shit and get legal help and do what is best for you and your children

Nah, file now! Don’t let him have that control. You be the petitioner! Make sure you document everything from here on out!

4 Likes

Do it before he does!

2 Likes

Kick him to the curb.

1 Like

I personally would let him out of alimony… but NOT child support

Who walks away from their kids. If he can do that…he isn’t worth it.

2 Likes

Can’t make a move… do it for him. Move out… or kick him out.

1 Like

He said he wants a divorce ! What are you waiting for. ? Get a lawyer and take him to the cleaners. Don’t beg him because it will get way worst

2 Likes

Be prepared on the legal front with a lawyer and absolutely do NOT sign anything and agree to nothing.

I would prepare for the worst and hope for the best. If you’re a praying woman you can pray over it.
I suspect he has someone else involved in the matter as well but it could be just him.

You can just stick around praying and hoping for change and prepare for the worst to happen and wait for him to file or you can file for divorce and ask him to leave the home. File for support and alimony move on with your life. If he wanted a post prenup so you couldn’t get those things that’s because he was already intending on divorcing you and leaving and he was hoping to do so in a manner with which he wouldn’t have to part with any money. He sounds like garbage to me.

2 Likes

If children are involved I highly recommend couples counseling. Even if divorce is the final decision, counseling will hopeful allow you both to work past the trauma that brought you here and allow you to be the best co-parents.
Protect yourself , while fighting for what you want. You cannot make someone stay or love you but if staying is what you want, say it. No regrets. :two_hearts:

4 Likes

Honestly it sounds like he’s bullying you and punishing you to get back at you for wanting to leave him. Clearly there are problems in the marriage. Counseling would be a good first step to seeing if it’s salvageable.

3 Likes

Sounds like he is passive/aggressive and wants his cake and eat it too. Sadly, too many men, when they lose interest in the mother do the same with his kids.
You need to go with what you feel is best but don’t become a doormat. Be prepared to support the kids and make it on y’alls own and on your own terms. I know this is not what you “signed on for” but as my mama always taught me was “don’t let anyone get their foot on your neck”.

3 Likes

Wow you need to get out and do not !!! Sign those papers don’t sign anything honestly

4 Likes

From my understanding you guys where In a rough patch and you wanted out but decided last min to stay and help your struggling partner. If I where him I’d be asking why you stayed (if he makes more that can be his concern). I also understand why he wants the divorce now. As for money idk make him pay child support. I personally think a spouse shouldn’t have to pay for the other once divorced but that’s just me.

You can’t sign away child support anyway. It’s not for you, it’s for your child.
But chances are he’s already cheating, so it’s all rather moot.

8 Likes

Leave or kick him out omg I’m sorry this is happening to you. Just because you have kids doesn’t mean you have to. Put up with that.
A lesser woman would have hit him on the head with a cast iron pan. Ahhh the age of old

4 Likes

You can’t “fix” something that the other person doesn’t want!

7 Likes

we went through a rough patch, VERY rough patch, we took some time apart and started out by dating , going out just 1 night a week, but not spending the night together, we spent alot off time talking and listening which is something we had lost over the course off 21/22 years off marriage, but we managed to work through things, move back together, yes do we still have times where we want to kill eachother yes off course but its all about communication

4 Likes

Some of you women are so bitter you can’t even give good advice. Sounds as though you all are taking out your own anger on this husband!!

6 Likes

He is cheating, hire a private investigator. In most states if cheating is proved he would have to pay you alimony.

5 Likes

Do not sign away your rights to child support nor alimony. If he wants out of this marriage so bad then you need to be the one who files for divorce first because the first one who files has the upper hand. Also make sure you have a way to support yourself and your children for you won’t be relying on that alimony or child support. The reason I say this is just because it gets ordered by a court doesn’t mean the person going to pay some rather lose their licenses or go to jail then to pay child support and alimony.

7 Likes

Oh wow. Go talk to an attorney.

3 Likes

You can’t make someone love you and stay with you!
My advice would be save up some money, start investigating without him knowing, and don’t jump to conclusions until you have proof! In my opinion it sounds like he’s got someone on the side!
You need to start documenting every little thing

8 Likes

Obviously, something is very wrong with him & he’s unwilling to talk about it! Because men don’t just leave a marriage where the woman is supportive & not doing anything wrong… I would assume he’s cheating or something serious is going on that he won’t talk about. Have you tried marriage counseling? Sometimes that can bring to light issues that people don’t even realize they are hurting the other person… Prayers sent :pray:! I think it’s sad how many people give up nowadays instead of fighting for their family…
Relationships aren’t perfect… There’s always going to be crabby/bad days… But both people need to learn how to deal with bad days… Don’t give up on each other because a stupid fight over what you will laugh about later alot of times if you work through your problems. Because some things that cause fights are actually ridiculous if you look back & think why on earth were we even fighting over something so petty lol…

4 Likes

Honey, don’t sign anything. Get a lawyer. It sounds like he is wanting out. Suggest counseling so the two of you can remain civil with each other. Go for child support. Remind him it’s not for you, it’s for the kids. If you haven’t already, find a job so you can support yourself. Don’t go for alimony. That will just make co-parenting more strained. I would find my own place. Putting him out will just make him more resentful. You would be surprised how many men swear up and down the family home belongs to them alone. Especially if the wife doesn’t work. He’s an ass, but you can’t undo what it took his parents years to create, a spoiled brat. So let him be spoiled all by himself. If he decides to be a a spoiled brat, let him do it by himself. All by himself. Don’t hang around and let him hurt you. Go. Now. Take only what you must, you can go back later with a police escort to get the rest. They can document, with photos what is there, what condition it’s in when you go to movie it, and how many things-and what kind are missing.

It doesn’t sound like either of you really want a divorce. Go someplace and have a talk. Be straight with each other. Then see if you both are willing to give it a try.

1 Like

While I barely believe in child support I definitely do not believe in alimony. Get a job and support you and yours. Give him the divorce and if you get full custody get child support. Good luck.

3 Likes

Excuse me! His shit would be out the front door. If he doesn’t want to work on it and is using the house as a place to bath and then out running. Nope shits on the front porch. Bye

Half of these ladies on here :frowning:… hope there husbands don’t see these posts there saying leave him and take him for all he has :nauseated_face:

6 Likes

So if he wants out let him go file. You keep doing life normal. Let it be at his cost

Sounds like he’s dealing with something and it’s not just about that. Try having a civil conversation with him and work through it.

Get your self situated. Have all paperwork including marriage certificates, birth certificates for you and the kids as well as social security cards and banking information. Talk to a lawyer STAT to find out what to do and how to proceed. Don’t sign anything from him waiving anything.

5 Likes

So basically he’s wanting you to sign your rights away, so that he can divorce you anyways with zero responsibilities to you or the kids…… what a trash person. Honestly, you should just divorce him and go for child support and alimony.

It sounds like he’s going through something, possibly at work or with family. Ypu need to talk to him somewhere private. As for child support,do you work? Will there be added financial issues if you are without him? I think if you are not currently a SAHM, you should both support your kids. As for alimony, that’s a rough issue.

You will never trust him again,do not sign your rights away.Go for counciling

2 Likes

Get a divorce. You both want it at some point. It’s done

If he’s simultaneously saying he wants out of the marriage and asking you to sign a post-nup waiving alimony and child support (he can’t legally get out of child support and he is an asshole for wanting to), he is planning to divorce you and take everything he can. Don’t sign. If there’s a path to staying together go to couples counseling but get a lawyer as well.

It’s sounds like he may have already talked to a lawyer or someone about divorce… I would first go to the Lord in prayer. I’d also have a long conversation with my spouse and try marriage counseling and counseling for just the two alone. Put a limit on it like, can we REALLY try to make this work for one full year… marriage counseling, prayer, counseling alone, dating each other etc and if one of us still wants the divorce after that year of REALLY trying then go see a lawyer.

Do not sign anything except a retainer for an attorney. File and serve him the divorce papers he’s throwing in your face. If what you say is true it is emotional abuse.

2 Likes

Do not give up your parental rights and you should try talking to him and see whats going on and ask him why he wants a divorce

3 Likes

I think you need marriage counseling

1 Like

Get a job and get a grip on reality. It’s your responsibility to support yourself and then your kids 50 percent of the time. You are not entitled . What is his is his. Be prepared if he gets custody you will owe child support

2 Likes

She Is to give up here rights as a mother? If he had a issue with anything else listed he should have had it done before being married!

1 Like

Do not sign your rights away. The alimony thing is a tough one but he should pay child support if you are needing the extra help whilst you find work. How he is going about things is not okay.

2 Likes

Maybe try marriage counseling first

Sounds as though he wants out with no responsibility. Get your stuff together and go see an attorney, first visit is free. Don’t tell him. Don’t sign anything and don’t use the same lawyer. Check in to your banking accounts, get copies of all paperwork, your and his, and childrens. Get copies of all loans , credit cards. CDs , his social, and get anything that really really matters to you. Your jewelry, pictures, . May be even get one of those air tags and put in his car. Take his miles down. Or even get one of your friends to help you follow him, to see if there is someone else.

3 Likes

Do not sign anything, take all your important documents and the kids and move out. File for custody of the kids and follow up with attorneys on everything else. Serve him divorce papers and be done with it.

7 Likes

No where near enough info for any one to give advice. Look it is a marriage it ain’t easy you either wanna work things out you don’t

1 Like

Make him pay child support and alimony through courts not to u I made that mistake and he was late and didn’t pay it for awhile.i had to take him back to court

1 Like

Don’t be played for a fool, don’t sign anything. Go see a lawyer get your ducks in a row for you and your babies. He wants his freedom with no responsibly financial that is. Most likely he has a side chick and can’t afford her. Therefore you can kids got to go.

4 Likes

It may be a case of your scaring him. He figures if you’re thinking of divorce, he’ll make it happen on his terms instead of waiting for you to lower the hammer at some future time. Try counseling

2 Likes

Dont sign anything. He must at least pay 50% of the kid’s monthly expenses.

2 Likes

Just gonna say, NEVER SIGN YOUR RIGHTS AWAY NOT EVER!! Better get yourself together and get an attorney because you’ll never have total trust again and you need to take full responsibility of yourself and your kids and he should pay child support through the court system and if he wants someone to give up their rights let him be the one not you!

3 Likes

Where did he even get that garbage? Does he actually think that works?

First of all contact legal aid and get their advice as to what to do…the house is considered yours too so he cant make you leave…and i wouldnt leave until the very end…start putting money aside because as long as he stays he will still be paying for everything…you need to file for custody before he decides too that is the very first thing you do
He says he doesnt have to pay child support so he is saying he wants to give up his rights to his kids…he took off his wedding ring so he can go have a good time with other woman and not feel bad at all…wow…good luck sweetie

1 Like

Rough patch because he found someone else and wants no strings ?? The woman on the side might not even know he has a family ?? Stick it out and make him do all the moves whilst you save and prepare for what may come - good luck :cry::cry:

3 Likes