How can my husband and I fix our sex life?

He is 67 and I’m 57. We have been married almost 4 years. We we started dating, the sex was great. It’s been since Feb. 14th 2019 since we’ve had sex. He doesn’t want to touch me or look at me naked. The only time he kisses me is if he is leaving the house to go somewhere. I try to start some foreplay with him but he just brushes it off or says he has something to do. I know he’s not cheating because we are together 24 hours a day. We ride to work together and ride home together. We’ve been working for the same company for about 6 weeks. He is in great shape. He says “it” doesn’t work anymore, but he won’t try to see if it can be fixed.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How can my husband and I fix our sex life?

Maybe have him get his hormone levels checked men go through changes and their testosterone levels drop and it effects every aspect of their lives

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He should talk to his doctor about it and there is also sex therapists if he is willing to try.

He possibly just doesn’t have Sex drive anymore…. He’s 67 years old. I’m only 38 and my drive is significantly lower than it used to be (I had a vasectomy after our fourth child) so I can only imagine life 30 years from now. Could try supplements but not sure about how they affect drive so much as ability to perform

I guess you might need to just understand that he doesn’t want “it” … Perhaps get yourself a few toys, and do the task yourself

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Me and my husband, do a date night. Zero discussion about everyday life. It helped us.

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Has he started any new meds, for depression or blood pressure? They can both effect sexual function.

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Maybe he is embarrassed that it can’t get up & he just gave up. Talk with him. Tell him how u feel and how it’s effecting you. Be open and honest the least he can do is listen. But all in all, he needs to go to the dr and speak with his dr about it.

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I mean…he is almost 70…testosterone naturally decreases with age.

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Is He tryna tell You He’s impotent? :thinking: Pretty sure that happens in age…

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Hes just embarrassed about it …it seems

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Have him see a doctor and assessed for heart/artery function. Erectile dysfunction can be the first sign of cardiovascular disease

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His pride is killing his relationship.

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Tell him buy a pack of Honey from the service station :rofl:

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Probably his hormone levels…

Sometimes space is good…
Maybe give each other space for a day …
Spending 24/7 with someone isn’t good…also maybe there’s something else going on like a medical issue

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Sbeak him a viagra lol kidding its a crime

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I work with the elderly… Could very well be the case…it gets embarrassing for them to discuss… gently encourage him in talking to his doctor, either by himself or both of you.

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i’m so sorry you both are going through that.
maybe he feels alone when it comes to that and embarressed. i don’t think it’s you. it for sure has to be him going about doing something about it and/or talking about it with someone that can relate so he doesn’t feel so alone

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Have him see a doctor. It possibly doesn’t work right and he is most likely embarrassed. If you are pushing a lot for sex, that could be why he is pulling away from you too.

Sounds like a testosterone problem
Or a little blue pill, have him bring it up to his doctor

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It’s not uncommon for men of his age to develop ED. It could be he’s embarrassed about it and doesn’t want to seek treatment. If you love him, let him know that you’re still interested in having sex with him and ask if he wants to try to get a doctor’s help. If not, you may have to get a toy and take care of yourself when he’s not home. I know it’s not as satisfying, but it can save some unhappiness.

He may be embarrassed that it doesn’t work. Get him to talk to a doctor.

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Plus being with each other 24-7 is not always a good thing. He may need some hobbies or something to have time to himself or do the male version of me time like perhaps fishing with friends or something.

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Yeh probably desire has declined… don’t focus on sex so much but just love on him as a whole person…without expectations it’ll be alright…

Sounds like he doesn’t want to disappoint you. There’s a few herbs and test boosters you could try

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At his age, with him saying it doesn’t work it is likely a medical issue. He is also probably embarrassed about it. Get him to talk to a doctor.

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Testosterone is low… That controls alot more than just libido. Make him go in

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It’s all in your approach. Kid gloves…ijs that’s what worked for me.

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Respectfully he is near 70 years old! He may not want a sex life. That for many people his age is normal. Not everyone but many. My advice is to talk to him about it. Could he feel too ashamed to see a doctor? You are right there are tests to take to figure out what’s going on and a lot of options that MAY help.

More to love than sex

He’s unsure how to deal this new change in life. Give him time, but I wouldn’t suggest pushing him

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He should go see a male doctor who specializes in sex hormones. He may have low t or another dysfunction

Needs his testosterone levels checked.

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Your nearly 60 he’s nearly 70 you don’t need sex at your age

he should see a Dr. it may be his prostate.hope he sees his dr. fast.

I think it’s hard for a man to admit that there’s a problem when “it” stops working. I would first check into any new meds or any increases in meds he has been taking and Google them to see if they have caused this problem. Next I would try to gently discuss seeing a Dr about the problem. Reassure him that this is sometimes an easy fix and that this happens to a lot of men. Good luck. I hope you’re able to resolve this issue.

Her needs aren’t being met and it seems like he isn’t communicating the issue to her. “It” doesn’t work isn’t really saying much. It matters.
The part I don’t get , and I’m sure she doesn’t either is he doesn’t even want to “touch or see her naked”?
Whatever the issue may be, things need to be clear. This may affect her self esteem, confidence and mental health.
Also, I agree…I think some space would benefit both of you

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Well,he is 10 yrs. older,but that’s no problem.He has something wrong with his sex drive.He needs to go and get himself checked out!.#HURRY!!

Wait, so you have been working together for 6 weeks and haven’t slept together in 10 weeks? How long before you guys started the job did you know the two of you were going to be working together?

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He’s probably embarrassed. Hopefully it passes and he gets help

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Toys sometimes work better

get his “T” checked, it causes major depression, zero libito, and many other things…God Bless…

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I’m thinking it’s not that he’s not wanting you. He’s probably having some medical issues. Have him go to his Dr

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It sounds like he may have low testosterone. It happens sometimes and can usually be fixed if he goes to a doctor.

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Try some natural remedies of course… Think about counseling.

I’ve come to realize that spending TOO much time with my husband is starting to wear on our sex life. I miss missing him throughout the day, if that makes sense

Let him know you’ll be sleeping with someone else. Get on POF or Tinder.

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He needs meds to help him perform and don’t know how to tell you that.

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He is 70. He is with you all the time. You been married quite a while. This happens when you get older and been together for a while.

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The fact that he doesn’t want to touch you or see you naked could be alot more than just his testosterone levels. Maybe you should start asking him if he is still in love with you. It’s not fair to your self esteem either.

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Honestly he’s almost 70. I will be thrilled if I have a sex drive at that age.

I agree with Lauren Williams. He needs to have his testosterone levels checked.

See his doctor to rule out any health issues. Go from there.

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Men go through mental health issues just as much as women. If he is truly having an issue it can cause mental issue just like it does for women. Sit with him and try to talk to him seriously. Just mention maybe he needs a check up just to make sure its not just an imbalance. Dont approach it strictly from the sex stand point.

Sex isnt everything.

Something’s up… maybe counseling? Not treating you right, not fair. I’m kinda in the same situation.

He needs to get his blood pressure checked AND his testosterone checked!

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I mean he’s like almost 70… his part worked for a long time I’m sure… try movie night or long walks instead of sex. He’s getting pretty old

Prostate plays a big roll in his age that needs to be check cause it could be serious

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Airing out his laundry like that isn’t ok , maybe he has medical issues and his ego is crushed if he finds out your asking on fb for advice. 

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He needs Togo to the doctor

Try black honey it’s sold in vape shops and online at Amazon. It works like viagra but doesn’t take as long as viagra to work.

Try and talk him into watching porn with you. See if that wakes the dragon up.

This is what they look like

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It’s called viagra!!! But you just said the only time he kisses you is when he leaves. So where does he go when you’re not with him?? I’d download the 360 app on both of y’all’s phones just to make sure.

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It maybe embarrassing for him…let him know there’s other ways you can be “pleased”

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But have you tried essential oils?

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see a Dr, he msy have low T

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Men find it difficult when their body lets them down. Hes scared to look at you incase he gets aroused then cant follow through…but he needs to see a Dr. It could be diabetes which will affect his health if its not controlled.
Has he started antidepressants recently or blood pressure meds ? Both notorious for causing problems
Theres all sorts of treatments that can help him if he’d just try and affection is still important for you both. Gently encourage him to attend his Dr to get a full health check

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Couple go through things like this but, there is something definitely bothering him. If he is having issue with this he should see a doctor. Just because a person is older does not mean they no longer have passion and desires. I would suggest have him see the doctor and go from there

Um did I just write this lol

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Might not be something he would appreciate you posting on social media! Even if it is anonymous. Betrayal of trust. If he is not comfortable talking to you about it. How do you think he is going to feel if he finds out? Not cool!

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Dr appt, probably testosterone levels, it will help with energy, pain, depression, sex drive and so much more if that’s it.

Maybe he just isn’t interested in having sex anymore and that should be okay.
If a woman had posted that she doesn’t want to have sex with her husband anymore and he was trying to find ways to change her mind, people would lose their shit. Leave him alone.

I’d definitely recommend a doctor. Or younger man

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The comments suggesting she either find someone knew or not ask for advice online are disheartening. Not every man is a cheater. Not every woman is faithful. He’s in his late 60s FFS.

It sounds like he may be too embarrassed or ashamed to get help; I know after my tubal my libido tanked and it was embarrassing and I was ashamed and it was hard to talk about with anyone, let alone my partner at the time. I would have a deep meaningful and gentle talk with him to let him know how much you love him and are attracted to him and that it hurts you sometimes that he isn’t intimate anymore. Ask him if it’s just that it “doesn’t work” like it’s a physical thing, or if he’s having some emotional issues like anxiety or depression due to it as well. Try and see if he will consider other forms of intimacy, ask him how you can make him feel loved and good as well.

Hugs :green_heart:

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Have his testosterone checked

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When some men get older their testosterone levels start to drop and it makes it difficult for them to stay aroused and it can be very upsetting to a man to not be able to preform the way that he used to when he was younger. You can buy testosterone pills that will help boost him back up

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I would push him to seek medical attention. I would let him know your concerned for his health and your not pushing for yourself. ED can be due to serious health conditions such as heart disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc.
He is likely embarrassed and he needs to be assured that this is not something to be embarrassed about. The anxiety and shame may have led him to be depressed.

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When that happens they get super self conscious in my experience. After a while it led to a big conversation in our house and we play together to give me what I need. We were in process of a men’s dr and trying medication to help but my hubby had a heart attack and had to stop because cardiologist said no more. Sometimes we just have a big cuddle session. Perhaps a nice intimate calm conversation would get him to try alternatives to pleasure for you and trying a dr. Wish you the best. It’s hard

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If he is circumcised it’s very likely he has erectile dysfunction. My husband and I are going through this as well

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I bet he watches porn and masturbates. Just because he has ED never means he couldn’t have intimate contact with you.

Could just be poor circulation. If he says it doesn’t work it doesn’t work and trying will just make things worse. I’m sure he is already in his head. Just gas him up, build up his ego. And possibly talk about seeing a doctor. There so many commercials here in Utah for some type of quick treatment that helps the blood flow.

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I am only 44. Do not have much interest in sex. I have been with my man 20 years. Find the sweetness and friendship that brought you together. I just assume he is ok with that

it can’t be fix unless he takes meds, do other things or asexual

Maybe. He is having man issues he needs to see a doctor

Honestly it could be that you guys are together 24/7. Make sure you never stop dating no matter how long you are together. Also it is healthy to both have your own time to do things you each like separately

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My man won’t take man pills and I take it when I can get it

Goodness. Hes almost 70 after all!!

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Find a therapist ASAP

give him a hand job geez

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Yeah, our stuff doesn’t work either

Damn girl wassup? Hmu

He’s definitely at the age where sometimes problems pop up, or don’t in this case. I wouldn’t take it personally. Maybe a conversation about a doctor’s visit.

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At that age blood flow and some medications screw stuff up.Even thyroid issues.Have dr.do simple blood work to see if thing are ok and rule out bad things first

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Just tell him to stop being a wimp and go get some viagra from the doctor. Problem solved

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Viagra… maybe?:woman_shrugging:t3: I’m not sure but it’s worth a shot.

Gay?
Not being funny, I genuinely have friends who have always been Gay, they married, had kids and stayed in unhappy lives and took years to come out :woman_shrugging:t3:
Some people will spend an entire lifetime never coming out, judging by his age, he is from a generation where unfortunately, it was engrained in them to be nothing but hetero :pleading_face:
Just food for thought :pray:t4:
If this is the case, be gentle, he may need an understanding person to support him :purple_heart: