FIRST OFF: What does your future husband want???
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Have the tables put together and have all the in-laws together . That way nobody feels left out or alone. You will learn in time it’s not worth hastle . I know what it’s like to be put in the position and I just wouldn’t go if my husband wasn’t sat next to me .
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Sorry but I believe you would be making a mistake. You can make your mother feel special in other ways but not by dis-honnering your step mother in law. She is a part of the family period. Your wedding geust will also think oh WOW, that is not very nice. Trust me there will be conversations at the wedding when folks see the picture of a step mom being shunned at the brides table. I beg you to rethink this option.
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You sound punitive. I hope you get over things like that because you are going to make everyone’s life hell, especially your future husband.
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If my kids told my husband he couldn’t sit at the table with me…I’d sit at the other table with him.
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Rude of you to do that to her .
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My honest opinion would be to have one table for all the parents to sit at, that way you’re still separated from their table, wow also not ruffling too many feathers. I think that having his father and stepmother separated is going to be a bigger deal in the long run for you.
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Why have the parents sit at your table period ? I’d have your wedding party sit with you at the table not your parents. Who even does that?
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ELOPE ! Then have reception when you come off of honeymoon. OR. Have best man and Maid of honor at your table. And let everyone else sit where they want to. Problem solved !
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How horrible… and later on when his Mom treats you how you’re treating her, you’ll want to cry to everyone about your horrible Mother In Law… you’re setting the stage for years of issues that will affect your marriage and any children you may have… grow up. You’re not a Kardashian, your wedding is not a National event that will scrutinized for years to come.
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This all sounds super unnecessary and will lead to really hard feelings. When you look back at your wedding this won’t matter. Trust me.
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Yes but also consider you are seating his dad with his ex wife in front of your entire wedding while his actual wife has to go sit off somewhere else. That is incredibly awkward
For everyone
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It’s super rude to ask her to not sit with her husband. You need another plan,even if it means no parents at your table. And honestly, you won’t spend much time at the table anyway. Not worth the trouble it would bring. Do you want to be remembered a the worst bridezilla ever?
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Think about a table for bride and groom (only). Parents table with all parent table. Problem solved 
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You might consider a long table at the front with your dad and his mom on one side and his dad and step mom on the other , with you two in the middle ( all facing the other guests)
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You’re getting married and worrying about the wrong things… people sitting together? That’s really the LAST of your concerns. Especially cause it’s something mostly not controlled and people always move.
Let his bio mom sit with your dad and it’s two and two. Why mix the ex’s together that’s kinda disrespectful. They’re all family and should be seen as such and treated with respect. If it was my son’s ready I hope he’d have the respect enough to acknowledge my partner and me as a unit and not force me to sit next to his dad, for what? What’s the reason. We are there showing up and supporting. The seating arrangement unless it’s people that fight or are gonna cause a big deal really isn’t a huge deal. Worry about the things that matter and are going to matter years to come. You and the groom. Not dictating seats off some petty feelings you have towards his step mom so she “knows her place” you’re starting a life with your husband focus on that
Step Mom is a Sick NARCASSIST and will not be happy with anything you do.
CORRECT: this is you and your husbands DAY. Have BIO PARENTS ONLY at your main table. People do it all the time.
Tell her she will be seated at special table for OTHER relatives and put a big bow on the back of it or on her forehead or whatever. If she makes a orep have her drug out by her hair. It wont be the 1st time if she is a Narcassist. DO NOT PUT UP WITH HER. Give her the boundary!
Enjoy YOUR WEDDING.
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You may be the step mother one day. Treat her how you’d like to be treated.
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Tell her and risk her not coming. (No loss there it seems). Or just have the parents at a separate table from you.
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Stepmom is part of the family whether you like it or not. Just have a bride and groom table only or DEAL WITH IT! Your going to cause more trouble than its worth. Your lucky there are parents to be going to the wedding. Some people don’t have any!! Suck it up and let the woman sit there.
Bride, groom, bridal party at main table. Parents sit at separate tables next/ nearest the bridal table.
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Good luck with that rude azz.
Put simply— grow up.
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I get where you’re coming from totally BUT please don’t do this… your table can be simply your groom beside you or maybe your wedding party aside you. You could set up a parent table/ family table. Your father & his mother will be recognized fully regardless to if he brings a plus 1 or appears stag. For example he’ll walk you down the isle maybe, there is the father of the bride/daughter- Mother of the groom/ son dance, toasting time, there is the corsage/boutiner significance…and simply just being your parents sets them apart from (what my family refuses to include in our vocabulary) “step” parent.
That is who your groom’s father has picked to share his life with especially in/on some of the most important days of a parents life AKA his sons wedding.
Do you have family who could sit at the table with you father at a family table? Life long friends who adore him or maybe siblings?
This is truly your special day and if you do what you posted your groom’s special day could be wrecked by these actions.
PLEASE reconsider & come up with another way of allowing your father, his mama & father to shine aside from sitting them in a spotlight that’s going to cause hurt, resentment and embarrassment.
Congratulations on your upcoming unity & good luck!
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Was that a typo where you said ‘it’s my wedding’ rather than ‘our wedding’??? Could she not sit with your dad? Or just have yourselves and the bridesmaids and best Nan then sit all the grandparents on the nearest table to you?
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Why does there have to be sides ? Sit his dad and wife on one side and have your dad an his mom sit on the other if you’re so worried about the sides being even…
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So you want her husband to sit with his ex-wife during dinner while his current wife sits elsewhere alone….
Just go elope.
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I would take My husband and go to McDonalds if I was her
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This is so selfish My Daughter is getting married in July Her Dad & Step Father are both walking her down the isle Why would you want to hurt your step Mom’s feelings If I was her I wouldn’t even attend
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Have a Bride and groom table and parents table both glorified and Fair jobs for both sets of parents and a small gift for each and each chair done uo according to there 
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Just because someone isn’t busy by your terms , doesn’t mean they aren’t busy. Why don’t you have his real mom sit on your side next to your dad
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This marriage is starting out fantastic.
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Be prepared that his father may choose to not be there. If I was told my husband couldn’t set with me, we would not attend.
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Regardless of what his step mom is like not including her will only make it more difficult for you both in the future. How about if you put his bio mom on ur side with ur dad so he does not have to sit alone.
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its YOUR wedding, do as you please and not tell her until its time to seat everybody and have a usher sit her at another table
I think it’s unkind to leave her out! Your dad could sit next to your partners mum, and then his dad and step mum sit together. You are risking a massive issue if you leave her out. Surely you wouldn’t want this at your wedding??
I need you to keep this same energy in your own marriage. That is is wife and where he sits she sits. If she decides to not come don’t be upset if her husband decides to stay home with her. I suggest just the bride/groom table and a separate table for parents.
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You sound selfish why should she sit somewhere else alone without her husband I definitely would talk husband into not attending
That’s still his family. He should be looking at the way you talk about his family. She could sit next to your dad.
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Honestly, if you can’t be nice and get over the fact that your groom comes with a stepmom, and you want to exclude her, then maybe you shouldn’t marry your fiance. You see when you marry someone, whether you like it or not that person comes with parents. I’m not saying you have to be best friends, but you have to respect the fact that his dad is remarried and now has another wife. Maybe you and the groom and your bridal party should sit together and then put all the parents at a table together, OR ask his mom if she is going to have a date and set them separate. Their divorce is not a reflection on you or your groom…but how you treat each person involved is a reflection on yourselves.
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I’m just here for the comments
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Set her on the side with your dad. 
Your an a$$… your wedding but she is his step mother and she has done for him even tho he has a mom. U should acknowledge her.
Sorry your dad didn’t remarry but u cannot make her feel like she doesn’t belong bc it’s your wedding. It’s his wedding to and your if acknowledging parents. She is a parent
Yours truly
- a stepmother
I think its stupid to have the parents up there with yall anyways 
just saying that’s an old tradition an with all the parents being divorced, remaried, or passed it doesn’t make since:woman_shrugging: you should seat them at a table with family members they get along with close to that side of the family in front of your table n put your wedding party or just you two at table up front your starting crap in the family before your in the family sorta like u said she does:woman_shrugging:
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When I got married, I had my dad, mum and Maid of honour on my side of the top table and my husbands mum, dad and best man was on the opposite side next to husband, my Dad’s Fiance understood and didn’t mind sitting with other family members on a table closest to the top table if that makes sense, it’s your wedding, do what makes you and your husband to be happy, if know one likes it then tough, it’s not their wedding. You can’t possibly keep everyone happy on your wedding day there will always be someone to moan about something, but like said its your day, do what you and fiance want 
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What does your fiance want to do
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While it definitely is your day, you could just do a Bride and Groom table and then a table for parents, that way there is no hurt feelings if that’s really the case here. But it also sounds like no matter what you choose someone will not like it no matter what, everyone does their tables differently , I had my parents and his parents sitting at one table while my then husband and bridal party sitting with us.
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This is not a good idea. What is it going to hurt to have her sitting with his dad, HER HUSBAND? If it is such a problem, then you and your fiancé should sit alone at your own table and let the parents and grandparents sit together.
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What does your fiancé want ?
Talk with him, decide who sits where, send a seating plan to everyone. Doesnt really matter how many are on each side and perhaps your Dad could bring a plus one or his mom might not want to sit beside his Dad and would like to bring a plus one of her own .
It’s pretty selfish to me as I grew up with a stepdad that’s like telling my stepdad he can’t walk me down because he’s only my stepdad… Grow up
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Lol. I think you just told her.
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Have a Bride and groom table and let everybody else sit where they want to. And keep in my one day YOU could be the step mom at an event. It’s a wedding. Should be filled with loving and fun memories.
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Wow, you’re a piece of work 
regardless she is family too, not including her at your table WITH HER HUSBAND is a dick move.
I think the idea of having your dad sit with his mother is beautiful. It doesn’t seem fair to have to sit with her at your table on your day, however, what a gracious thing for you to do. It would be terrible to look back on your day with regret for excluding said family member.
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Have a parents table. Problem solved.
If you got along well with her, I’m sure you wouldn’t even be having this discussion.
The only person that needs to be ok with the seating arrangements is your soon to be spouse. You don’t have to give anyone a heads up about where they are sitting prior to the reception.
By the way the step mom sounds, she probably won’t allow his father to sit there without her… Just sounds like that’s the type of person she’ll be…
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Honestly, I’d have all the parents sit at a table near the bride and groom and not at the same table.
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Just be honest with her and tell her sooner rather then later so she has time to get used to the idea. Explain you reason for wanting it that way maybe you can have her seated close by so she isnt fully excluded.
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You are being a jerk / bridzilla . Don’t leave her out it’s wrong
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Wow… this is just a bunch of crap. A parent is a parent regardless. No matter what they do or how they act… they are a parent… as a step parent myself this is wrong in so many ways.
Don’t mess up a wedding just because of a personal grudge that you will regret later in life.
Just dumb.
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Reasons I eloped part 8072
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You have about a million alternative options gor seating that will be completely drama free. Find one.
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Let her sit she is a part of his family
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This is a terrible idea. She’s married to your husbands father. You don’t exclude her like that🙄. Have his mother sit next to your father. This shouldn’t even be a discussion.
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Why not put his mom and your dad together and the dad and step mom at the other. Honestly they are divorced I personally wouldn’t have sat them together either way
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Just have his mom and your dad at the table.
Or leave the parents off the table altogether and give them their own table. You can still make it special for his mom and your dad (a little thank you speech or something)
Or put her at the very end of the table and if she starts any drama, kick her out.
I can tell there’s a lot of toxic parents in here that are mad at you for wanting to leave a b!tchy stepmom out 
she sounds like a nightmare honestly. It’s 2022. We don’t make excuses for and we don’t have time for shitty parents.
Just do what you need to do to keep the peace otherwise you are going to regret it, who cares if the numbers are off a little, you should set your father-in-law’s ex-wife with your dad since he’s alone and your father-in-law should be sitting with his wife. Whether you like her or not!
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Just be honest with her
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I wish you wouldnt say “real mom” as if being a step parent means you’re a fake parent. When in all reality step parents take on the role of being a parent bc they love the person they are w and their kids. She is just as much a parent as a “real” one. Also to separate his step mom and dad is kinda shitty just bc you don’t view her as a real parent, what if your dad remarried to find happiness after your mom died? I think if it was your step mom you’d have her up there w you too but that’s just me 
Simple…pass out a seating chart…non-negotable…you’re the bride…have your wedding coordinator handle specifics like explaining the seating arrangements…how does your fiance feel about this?
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Wedding party table and one parent table and everyone is happy and safe you special day
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Just tell her. If she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t have to come. If she doesn’t want his father sitting there, that’s a choice his father will have to make and live with.
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Forget bridezilla this is just immature. If you’re not including all parents in your dais table then just have a separate table up front just for all the parents together. I can promise you by being this way nothing good will come from it. I’ve been to a wedding where being like this caused the whole grooms side to walk out of the wedding. I was embarrassed for the bride and her attitude it was absolutely horrific to watch as a guest. Include all the parents step or not and just maybe do something else special for his mom. Are you guys not having father/daughter and mother/son dance at the reception? I mean that alone puts her in the spotlight as well as maybe having her and the dad walk him down the aisle. Don’t cause yourself regret and anguish of over the little stuff when this is suppose to be a beautiful union of 2 families.
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So you’re forcing divorced parents to sit next to each other to be petty. Since it’s just your dad, sit (fiancé’s) mom next to him (your dad) and let fiancé’s dad and stepmom sit together on the other side since that’s his actual wife…. Or have the sweethearts table and the parents table be separate. It is your day tho so if you want it the way you described then put on your big girl pants and be honest and prepared to deal with the consequences 
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I say there’s a 99.99% he won’t have his dad at the wedding after you deliver your tasteless request!
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What an idiot. Have the ex wife sit with your dad then and stop being a bridezilla
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I could see if the step mom had only been married to his for a short period. But if they have been together a long time I think it’s wrong to think this way. Also I know my own relationship with stepparents. And I can be a bitch and would make it clear of seating arrangements. I would ask his dad how he feels about it. Would it make him uncomfortable? Try to compromise if you can but I can’t practice what I preach here lol
Why are you sitting two divorced people next to each other anyway? Let his mom sit on your side. Its just a seat.
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This is too much. You haven’t actually said anything terrible about this woman other than mostly you just don’t like her but nothing that would make it ok for you treat her like that. If I was his father and you did that to my wife of years and years and years I would flat out refuse to sit up there. What planet are you from that you actually think its acceptable to tell your father in law that he must eat dinner with his ex while his wife isn’t invited to that table and has to eat alone? At her own step sons wedding. You’re the one that sounds pompous and uptight.
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Wow you’re a heatless shrill of a bride. Good luck in that marriage
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Youre overstepping your boundaries not only with her as his stepmom but his dad. He chose her as his wife for a reason and is divorced from his mom for a reason. I am sure he would not enjoy having his wife excluded like that and having to share a table with his ex wife instead. You’re being very childish and immature. Grow up.
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As a step mom- she’s part of the family. I’m sorry your side only had one person- sounds like an issue for you. Make sure you’ve actually spoke with your fiancé about this and aren’t just calling the shots.
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well if I was your dad I wouldn’t go without my wife and she will be sitting with me to I will not be there
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I would hate for you to be my Daughter in-law
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Let her sit by your Dad. Or better yet. Have the bride and groom 1 table. And a separate table for the parents.
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Let him tell her. Why you gotta do it? He could tell his daddy to tell her. I wouldn’t be the bad person in this, at least I wouldn’t be the one telling her. Have name tags at the table where you want people to sit. Don’t put her at the table. Just remember after the wedding you’ll have to deal with this anyway, if she’s the way you’re describing. You might not have to deal with her at the wedding but you will deal with her during your marriage. Be prepared. She sounds like a difficult person to get along with so be ready.
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You are telling your soon to be father in law- (a grown ass man, your elder, your man’s father) that his WIFE can’t sit with him at his son’s wedding because it will be uneven at the table (among other equally pointless reasons)? I hands down think you’re being petty af and completely overreacting in even thinking of doing something that will inevitably cause unnecessary drama. Unbelievable. If i were your fiancé i would be seriously reconsidering my options with getting married if you are being so ridiculously immature and petty about something so minuscule in the grand scheme of life. That’s his stepmom. As a stepmom myself, this pisses me off no end. Crazy as hell.
By gosh I better be there!!! Lol.
Ew what a bridezilla. If you haven’t run this by your to be husband, you may not have one to marry and may not have to worry about it 
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It doesn’t matter how you feel about her to be honest because it’s your husbands wedding too and his parents who were there for him
I’d ask him more who makes him feel xyz where does he want them
He doesn’t have a say? I only heard your feelings of her
And if you don’t want drama but you know you’re wanting something that will create a lot of drama you gotta choose
Can’t have both
my feelings would be hurt as either mother because both probably went through shit for him I suggest no parents by you guys and do tables or include all parents ??
I had to do some hard things at my wedding but I never separated anybody because I told them choose a seat not a side because we are all family once this is over. I understand your sentiments and I have 2 sets of parents I have my mom and dad who raised me and I have a set of really good friends who have been like adoptive parents to me since I was 19 because they did things for me that my actual parents didn’t do for me. But we didn’t have seating arrangements because there wasn’t enough tables so it ended up being similar to a lawn party but I enjoyed it. And it went perfectly. But if I ever had to do something like that I would put my foot down and put my “bridezilla” hat on and say “this is my day you’re not going to ruin it by trying to make it all about you.” And she shouldn’t get upset because she cant sit by her husband. If she really cares then she wouldn’t have a problem with it. But sometimes it’s ok to be that person when you have to be.
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Idk but she doesn’t sound like someone who deserves to have news “broken to her”, you need to just tell that lady and prepare to deal with her rage after the fact, but make sure you keep your foot down
I would let his dad and step mom sit together…your dad and his mom sit together. Don’t be petty over something you’ll regret later and the new wife might not want them sitting together, and he’ll choose his new wife because of obligation. Don’t put him in a spot to choose for real. I get that its your day but the less drama the better
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Weddings are supposed to be about blending two families. If it were my say I would move his mother to sit by your father on your side and have the father and new wife sitting together on his side. That way all parents are involved and it actually solves the issue of having uneven sides.
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Personally I plan to get married on a beach somewhere and tell nobody 
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You are in it for the wedding not the marriage…you aren’t ready to be an adult never mind get married…too selfish and immature…but if your fiance agrees then you deserve each other just wait until u need her for something or you step out of the superficial bubble world you live in and experience the real world…you are just sad…I hope they see this and see what their some is marrying…a vapid control vain witch
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I’m sorry but I wouldn’t expect to sit at a table as the step mum… the mum and dad sit at the table that’s it… if they don’t get on then they don’t sit together… but my boyfriend and his ex wife get on… so I would have no problem then sitting together you do what you want it’s your wedding…
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Uummm why would she not sit with her husband? Can’t wait to see how’d you’d react to someone not seating you with your husband.
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No. Just no. I’m sure his dad is not interested in sitting with his mom. Make room for step parents. They’re just as important.
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