I will be getting married in September and would prefer a certain table set up at the reception. I would like the bride and groom table and have our parents on our sides at the same table. The only issue is, my fiances parents are divorced and he has a step mom. I only want his dad and real mom at the table, and my dad as well. For 2 reasons, one, its just my Dad as he is single since my mom passed. So I don’t want 3 people on my fiances side and 1 on mine. And 2, his step mother is pompous and uptight. Everything we’re doing has to be dropped to do whatever she needs. For example, we had plans, we told her that, but she refused to drive to our house for something she wanted and threw a fit saying she was busy too but in reality, when we showed up, she was not busy at all. She does not care about what we have going on, its all about her wants and needs. I get that its his dads wife. I do. But its my wedding and I don’t know how to go about telling her she won’t be at the same table for part of the reception. Also his real mother lives in Texas and my fiance hardly sees her at all. I want her to be specially recognized and important in our wedding because she misses out on everything else. He is her only son and I want it to be special for them both. His step mother and him were never really close for obvious reasons. I don’t know how to go about telling her this news.
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I break the news to my fiances step mom that we do not want her sitting with us at our wedding?
There’s a lot here about what you want. What does he want?
I would just tell her be straight with her
Your wedding. Your choice. But just be advised that it may not go over well with her and your dad. Why isn’t his mom coming to the wedding??? If that’s the case, have NOBODY sit with you. That way you and hubby get all the attention.
I wouldn’t do that, if he has a step mom then he has a step mom. Put your husbands mom on the same side as your dad to even out the table.
If you can’t deal with her at a table for a few hours maybe rethink joining that family. Step parents are parents too
Your about to cause huge problems from the get -go by trying to exclude a parental figure
You don’t want 3 on his side and one on yours?
Wow
Did you ask who he wants sitting with him??
Step parents are parents as well. It’s his family. What does he want ?
Its YOUR wedding. Bottom line
You need to grow up. Sit husbands mom with your dad and then his dad and step mom by him. Or sit all parents at their own table. Don’t be petty
Be straight up and tell FIL ur plans and he can let her know he she then chooses to no go or FIL can’t attend then what ever 
it’s ur wedding don’t back down from what y’all want
Why not just have a parent’s table? Nothing good will come from you excluding family from the get go.
I hate these seating arrangements. People get so hurt and left out. Some brides make it a point to place the favorite ones in better areas and leave the least favorite in back and that’s a terrible feeling.
To have a peaceful and stress free wedding, just leave it be. Something as small as him having more on his side will not matter years from now.
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Wow…this is not right. Hopefully you change your mind. One moment in time can create a lifetime of animosity.
Yes your wedding but has his step mom been in his life long? How does your fiancée feel about it?
Then you should not have separate tables like that. Just do a bride and grooms table center . That would cause EXTREME hurt feelings
I would suggest a “sweetheart” table for just the bride and groom and the parents can sit with the rest of the guest and you can avoid all issues.
i would say sit her at the end beside your dad or show her the table plans and go from her reaction forward …
Just straight up tell her she’s not sitting there. It’s YOUR wedding, YOUR rules.
So your marrying into this family, and right off the bat you treat his dad’s wife like this??? Not a good way to start off, good luck dear
The step mother is in fact his mother ! You have a very insides view that could effect and create drama at your wedding. But something tells me that’s what you like .
This is a very selfish post. I don’t care what she brings to the table.
I think that’s awful. That is his dad’s WIFE. It doesn’t matter if you or your fiancé like her. That is disrespecting the father of the groom. Put your fiancé’s mom beside him then his dad then the step-mom. Or don’t have any of them up there.
That’s horrible to do to your fiancé
Isn’t right to leave her out . Sorry
I would let his wife sit with him.
I just don’t think you are gonna beable to do that. You will be risking the fact that his dad might just decide not to come. The step mother should beable to attend anyway and sit wherever her husband does.
As someone with a step mom, your wrong and the way you view this is going to cause so many issues for so many years to come. Get over yourself.
It’s YOUR wedding!!! Tell her the same as you did in your post!
So do what you guys want to do it’s your wedding so if you don’t want her sitting there then just tell her don’t accommodate for her do what you want to do it’s your special day don’t let her ruin it for you
Just tell her that you want his mom and dad on one side and yours on the other she is not his real mom. Just tell her don’t beat around the bush it is your wedding and his hopefully he feels the same as you. The sooner you get it over with the better
Step parents ARE real parents . His mom moved to texas , her missing things is her own fault for not traveling back .
Lol it’s not your decision. That’s HIS mother and if he wants her there he can. Your no one to tell her she can’t be with her son who she helped raised. If I was him I wouldn’t marry your bitter b**** ass. No reason she don’t like you lol and it’s not just your wedding it’s HIS too and he has every right to say who he wants with him at his table… Good job causing trouble 
How does he feel about this. If you both agree, then tell his father she won’t be sitting with you. Only people with blood ties. Just be straightforward but be prepared for her not wanting to come or something like that
I wouldn’t be surprised if the dad ends up not sitting with you either tbh. I doubt he wants to exclude his wife.
This sounds really terrible. Where is she supposed to sit, by herself?
Step mom or not, thats still someone important in the family. Don’t separate them.
Make a table just for Bride and Groom
You need to grow up.
They either all sit with you as a family, or you get a separate table for all of them.
Do not exclude her, just set his birth Mom next to your Dad, they may make new friends.
Step family is family too, that’s messed up. Don’t be surprised when his dad doesn’t come because you’re being selfish. Make a parents table and have your bridal party sit at your table like any other wedding. I feel like this whole thing is an idea just because you get the chance to be spiteful and petty
Have his mother sit by your dad…I doubt she wants to sit next to her ex husband anyways. Step parents are parents too…but it’s your wedding. 
What does your FH think about this?
Somewhere down the line you may have a step mom… your dad may remarry… consider how you (or he) would feel if the roles were reversed and your FH didn’t want her there?
As a step mom… steps are also parental figures…
Well you just spit it out and tell her. However, I think In the end it just makes you look bad
Hell no. Yes, you ARE the 
hole
Ya that’s gonna start A Fight add them both and don’t be immature your going to hurt feelings doing that.
She should be sat with her husband. End of story. Just the fact that you want to exclude her like that is not nice. I didn’t like my fathers girlfriend but I never would’ve done that, and she wasn’t even my stepmother
Do what is best for u
Even though it’s your wedding, you still need to consider everybody else’s feelings as well. I feel like you’re being kinda selfish and it’s gonna cause problems. I know it’s tough getting along with certain family members, but you might wanna consider your future husband’s feelings as well. I’m not trying to judge or bash you. Just friendly advice. Goodluck.
You say WE don’t want her sitting with US, but then only talk about YOU the entire post 
Put only his mom next to him, and your dad next to you. Problem solved. One on each side. Let his dad then sit with his wife at the allocated table with the other guests. You cant leave out someone. Doesnt matter how terrible they are. Imagine how his dad will feel not having his wife next to him. Very embaressed.
Know its your wedding and your special day, but it will just create an unwanted atmosphere for everyone at the wedding.
Completely unrealistic of you to ask your stepmother to sit away from her husband! Like her or not! Grow up little girl!
Not a good way to start out a marriage
Have a table for you and your hubby and put all 4 parents at a table next to you. Or put his mom and your dad together and his dad and s mom on the other
Way to invite drama into your life from day 1. Just do a couples table and let the parents sit with everyone else.
So your singling his step mother out because your mother passed away and it’ll be 3 people his side and 1 yours? So why not change the plan. Why would you put his father and his wife in that position. And the awkwardness.
Maybe they can all sit at the same table?
I’d be livid if mine or my partners kids tried this.
Eww, this is gross & immature. If he’s smart he won’t marry you
Either let everyone sit at the table with you or have them sit on a table on their own to the side.
In your scenario I would personally sit the married parents Together and then my MIL and Dad together.
At our wedding we did a table for the wedding party and then parents sat at the first tables
Have two separate tables the bride and groom and a table for parents! I’ve been there where my boyfriend was not allowed to attend! Makes it hard on the relationships!!
So freaking rude!
You include everyone and get over yourself!
I’d be pissed if I was the step mom that’s just wrong how would u feel if the shoe was in the other foot and ur step kids wife or whatever didn’t want u at their table
I get all your reasons but I do not agree . I would not expect his Dad to accept this and he shouldn’t if hes married to her , if it were his girlfriend ok but its his wife. How would you feel down tbe road if someone wanted your husband to sit with out you in a similar situation, what would you expect your husband to do ?
I would say have a table thats just for the bride and groom, and put all the parents, including the step, at a table?
Or perhaps seat your dad with his mom and have his dad and step mom together? Is that an option?
Karma is a biatch girl, period. Oh, and it’s VERY REAL. You sound like a selfish brat and I wouldn’t want any part of you, ever, if I were the step mom.
You sound ridiculous. 
Guuurrrll this is a lifelong commitment that you are about to really start off on a very bad note. This will cause so many problems for his dad and the resentment will be there from him for the rest of your life. In my opinion, you’re trying to have a battle that you aren’t understanding the long term consequences of. It’s not worth it! Oh how I wish I could explain how much it’s not worth it. But I understand your feelings, and if you’re going to do it, there’s not an easy or nice way. You’re just gonna have to rip the bandaid off and just do it. Good luck!
Nope not your wedding. It’s your and your fiance’ wedding. He should run, and fast.
Expect your dad and step mom to not show up then.
I am a step mom and would not be offended at this at all. It’s your wedding and you and your husbands day. You’re experience. Others have lived their experience. But then again I don’t get offended easily. I support and keep my mind open to others having a right to have their own way of wanting to do things.
Why is this your decision? Should be his.
Idk I guess I feel different about this. I think it’s pretty rude on your part. I just would never do that to my step parents personally. I also think you’re creating a awkward position for his mom and dad to be in. They’re no longer together and I think leaving the stepmom out of the equation is going to cause a lot of drama. It’s disrespectful in my opinion to their marriage.
You may end up creating a bad situation on your wedding day why not just invite the mom to sit with your dad
I understand it is your wedding but is it worth the upheaval that will happen. Unless he doesn’t want her there then let him tell his Dad and step mom why. Otherwise maybe his family isn’t a good fit for you and you should rethink getting married.
You can go wrong with honesty. Tell her straight up why she isn’t going to be at your table. She may get mad but it sounds like she will be mad for something anyway. Don’t let that stress of her feelings put a damper on your special day…
It’s not just your wedding
Remember one day you might be a step mom,.,. How would that make you feel that you can’t sit at your “step kids” wedding with your husband!
I wouldn’t do this due to stress you don’t need at your wedding. I wouldn’t have any of them at your table. Have your own. Problem solved
That’s super petty of you!!! Step parent or not she’s a part of the fam & discluding her will humiliate her and for why? You don’t even have a good reason to do her like that!
I think that’s a bit harsh… family is family. It doesn’t matter how many each person has on each side. Sounds like you have a personal problem with the step mom. It’s not like she’ll be walking him down the aisle. You’ll only end up hurting his dads feelings in the long run. Not very mature.
What that’s fucked up
That’s not going to fly. Emily Post would be very disappointed with you.
Lol. Are you just trying to start off bad? Like wtf. This woman is married to your soon to be husbands father and you want to tell her “you can’t sit with us.” Reminds me of a movie…. yeah good luck with all of this.
I’m a stepmom and honestly something like that would offend me and I would probably cry. Don’t be a bridezilla. All the parents should be included or none.
I would be so hurt if my bonus daughter excluded me from being by her on her wedding day. Her father and mother do not get along, and it would make everyone uncomfortable. You’re about to start your lifelong commitment on everyone’s shit list
Use 2 tables one for the wedding couple and the other for the parents end of story
It’s your wedding, do what makes y’all happy. If this is how you want it done- talk to them- and also make sure your coordinator (if you have one) knows your seating arrangements. Coordinators are there to make your day run smoothly and will weed out the people who don’t respect your wishes on YOUR day.
My husband and I had a sweetheart table that was just me and him. So that’s also an option. But if this is what you want just talk to them about it.
That’s probably gonna cause problems between him n his dad if you do that, have you thought about that?
While I completely understand you predicament, you will start off you marriage in a rift if you do that. That is his dad’s wife and you need to respect ALL of them. Sometimes you just have to make the best of it. If you can’t compromise with this, your marriage will never last. It’s give and take sometimes.
So as a stepmom, this is a tricky one. What is your fiancés opinion of the situation? I feel like it would do more harm than good to exclude her. It will put your fiancés dad in a position to feel that he has to choose a side and that’s not the kind of thing you want surrounding your wedding. It sounds like this is all because you aren’t a big fan of hers, and I get it. It’s your day, but it’s also your fiancés and you don’t want to cause him stress because of this. Just sit the woman at the end of the table apart from you and call it a day.
Sit his mom near your dad, divorced families aren’t uncommon and people will understand but it doesn’t specifically exclude her from the family table (which would be terrible). She may be the way she is because of the fact she’s being treated differently and not as important. I feel like that would be highly disrespectful not only to her but to his dad as well!
Best of luck to you. Should be a very interesting start… …
Can you sit his step mother with your father to even it out?
I had told my dad I didn’t want my step mother up front at my graduation (not for any other reason other than I had limited seats and I wanted my Mimi to sit up front) my dad told me he wasn’t sitting without her.
So just a warning, you may end up with neither of them sitting there if you won’t accept both sitting there.
What if bio mom sat with your dad and step mom sat with his bio dad? Is that a thing? Idk all the wedding etiquette
All or none, I would think. Kind of rude to have his Dad sitting there with his ex, while his current wife is sitting with others at the reception. Maybe you could sit all the parents together at a table, not the main table with the bride and groom.