If you knew those feelings were not there at first, then why would you marry him? You need to divorce him after telling him everything wrong you have done. Then go get a job as a stripper, you’ll get plenty of male attention there. 
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if you feel this way then he isn’t the “one” leave him and in the end you both will be happier!! it’s that simple!
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“Dont judge me, be nice.” 
. Leave the poor man and let him find someone who deserves his love and who will be attracted to him in more ways than one while you continue to add numbers under your belt to find what " you want ".
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Shame
on you for treating a good man that way…
Always remember "One thing about them tables, they always turn ".
Karma has no expiration date .
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So I’m not going to sugar coat it, don’t be a cheating hoe if you’re unhappy file for divorce, you should of done that way before cheating ever took place! Also put yourself into intense therapy because your mindset is all wrong.
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Have you tried flirting with your husband? I get that you might want him to take initiative, but try flirting with him first and see how he responds. However you do need to get scolded. There is no excuse for cheating, you need to be more comfortable with telling your husband your emotional needs. Don’t legally bind yourself to a man and then act like you can’t have a conversation with him. It’s way less effort and less shame just talking to him.
Hummmm,hummmm, hummmm. Sooo we see why you married your husband, but the question is:why did you think that you(character)would change personally?What was it about your husband that you thought would change you…I think that you have always been like this. Being disappointed isn’t new too you. I think you will only find satisfaction when you find it within yourself and God.Only then will your husband will be good enough for you.Why do you think that only desire equates too love(self worth).Where did you learn that or who told or taught you that?
Are you actually cheating on your husband asking how to be more attracted to him!!! Stop being a cheating slut… Your attraction is secondary to your fedelity… You are married… If you’re sleeping with any other man no matter the reason you don’t deserve the man you have.
Be nice? Why don’t you be nice to your husband and quit cheating on him.
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So that is your favorite holiday? Who is posting fan questions? The admins? I don’t get it. No holiday post?
You can’t force yourself to be attracted to your husband. Leave now and concentrate on your kids, not yourself. Get therapy.
Your husband deserves better. I hope he finds out, and I hope he gets out of there. 🤷🏻♀ YOU don’t need advice, you need to stop toying with someone’s heart. Its terrible.
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If you’re unhappy with your marriage then just… leave?? Tf. You don’t give a damn about him if this is what you’re doing. Let him go and let him find someone who will actually value him. You’re being INCREDIBLY selfish.
Also, a relationship usually will not work if you’re not sexually attracted to them. And you can’t force yourself to be sexually attracted to him either. You have a decision to make.
There a word for women like you ! How many of the men you’re sleeping with are married, how many lives are you hurting ! I hope your husband leaves you & finds a decent woman . And by the way, you might be attractive on the outside but you’re not very pretty on the inside 
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how can you say please be nice !
Sorry, but do your husband a favor and walk away.
Well I will judge your husband a good man seems like.I don’t like cheaters either leave or grow up and stay.You only care about your self and not your husband or anyone else that hurting.I wish I knew who you was cause I would tell your husband.Stop thinking of yourself.
Check your attachment style! Lol
Be sure your sins will find you out…lol good luck there karma is not nice!
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Does anyone else wonder what she would do if the table was turned???
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What would you do if your husband did that?
I read these all the time. This one…judging. She is a nasty woman. Husband deserves WAY better.
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I like the “don’t judge me part”.
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Omg your so selfish! The person I feel sorry for is your husband!
Haw would you like him hi did same think you do !!!
Just tell your husband he married a whore
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Who makes this " crap" up? Come on…
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Just fucking discusting…
My god how selfish 
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You asked for our opinion … void of us judging your circumstances?!
That’s like going before a judge 
telling them your story, and then saying; give me your opinion … without judging what you’ve heard?!
And be nice!
In other words, don’t hurt my feelings, with the truth. Sugar coat it.
Because, you already know the situation here!
- It wasn’t Healthy, Emotionally, Mentally, Ethically or Morally, to yourself or certainly to husband … to marry somebody that you are not sexually attracted too.
You said yourself that sexual attraction is sooooooo important to you, and it isn’t there.
Imagine how your husband must feel. Probably the same way, when men ghost you. Unattractive & unworthy. Only from his wife. A stranger would be easier to except.
It sounds like You’re here to get confirmation that it “is” wrong … and support/encouragement to stop this behavior.
It’s NOT a pattern, it’s a CHOICE. And you’ve been doing some serious “work” to cover all this stuff up … to not get caught.
It’s always a lot of WORK to do wrong.
Doing RIGHT, is FAR much easier.
*I would start, by telling your Husband the TRUTH. Because, IF he finds out (before YOU tell him) your marriage will most likely be over for sure!
(Unless, that is secretly what you want. Maybe 
that is “why” you have affairs? I don’t know 
)
Then go get counseling by yourself (from a WOMAN) … and then couples counseling.
Providing you want to save your marriage.
Whatever you choose, I wish you AND your husband … Healthy & Happy Lives. Sincerely, life is seriously so short. This pandemic should have taught us, to value people, and love one another. 
I can smell your fishy twat from here. Cheating on your spouse is no bueno. Also to late for the “don’t judge me” 
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“Don’t judge me” 
too late
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That poor man he probably doesn’t even have a clue.
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So you’re a serial cheater and you sound like a narcissist.
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All I’m praying is you haven’t got children in this relationship.
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Hey mamma - have you thought about talking to your husband about being open to a polyamorous relationship (do some research and talk to people in those relationships to learn more if you are unfamiliar). It’s something I know people have done successfully and it’s really enriched their lives. It’s not for everyone, but it’s worth bringing up with him.
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You have to CHOOSE your husband everyday. You’re not doing that. Literally just choose your husband. Stop cheating, stop letting sexual feels get in the way… anybody can flirt with you… anybody can build you up sexually But what matters most is who loves you and whose been there for you no matter what. You’re doing your husband wrong… period. You need to leave him if you can’t commit to him and only him.
If you want to be with him then you need to explain to him everything that has happened and be truthful about it all… especially the infidelity and the fact that you’re not really sexually attracted to him.
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Sexual fulfillment is an emotional need. When it isn’t met, it can be difficult. I would be honest with your husband, have a conversation with him. Let him know how your feeling. There are ways to build that up with him and things you can try to increase the sexual attraction. Try counseling with sex therapist.
If you feel that your needs can’t be met. I would end the relationship, infidelity is traumatic to many.
I wish you luck!
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What the f*uck did I just read?
“Im a genuinely and lovely attractive married woman”, I like to step out of my marriage on the “odd occasion” because my husband is wonderful but not attractive but please dear god dont judge me and be nice to me?
Let him go so he can find a woman who deserves a good man.
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Yes, it is a choice. You choose to put your husband first. You choose this certain life style and the emotions will follow but you first you have to choose. When you see handsome men look away. One day you’ll be old and no one will be attracted to you anymore… What will you have left? Will your husband still be there seeing his young beautiful wife through his eyes? Or will you be old and alone. These men don’t care about you… They just want what you have to offer and then bye. But yet your husband sits and waits for you… Think about that hard. Maybe your husband will become more appealing to you when you associates his love with attraction vs physical attraction. You know how many women wished they had YOUR husband? Think about that too!
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This whole post girl?? It’s giving me childhood trauma that’s suppressed and coming out via your character . You have what you claim is “ everything” but it’s not enough for you. That’s flag #1. Flag #2 is you’re not sexually attracted to your husband? Okay so why would you date him? Why would you marry him? Now that was on you. You enjoy people’s attention because it boosts up your self esteem. You should ask yourself why? Why do I have to sleep outside of my marriage to have a confidence boost. This should make you wonder about your own happiness. You clearly were traumatized in some way that you can’t hold a healthy relationship. By all means if finding an open relationship like some people are apparently okay with , makes you feel better well sis go find that . But to actively cheat and justify your actions? No . You need need therapy. They need to discuss with you what happened that makes you destroy everything you have for a “ fling”. Speaking of experience because my ex did this. He had family trauma among a million things . You ma’am are giving heavy unstable vibes. However you’re asking for help which is step #1 but Facebook is not the place , online/in-clinic therapy is
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You said it in your post they get what they want… open your eyes how would you feel if it was being done to you eventually your husband will find out…if you have everything you need like you say at home make it work communication tell your husband how you feel better yet make him feel important go the extra mile with him make him feel special flirt with him bring a spark back to him maybe he feels like you…or maybe he knows what your doing behind his back
Being in a relationship Is way more than being sexually attracted to someone you can think someone looks good without lusting and going further, looks will change but the heart is what you should look at and it seems like your husband is that amazing guy for you so I honestly dont understand y u would cheat but I would come clean and pray that this issue can be fixed. How would you feel if the roles were reversed?
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Of course everyone is going to say to leave your husband. But you should genuinely talk to him. Tell him these things in a calm and respectable manner. If he gets mad don’t cry or get emotional and give him time to feel his feelings. It’s completely understandable to need a little more from your partner sometimes. Jus ask him to do these things. Either he can help you spice things up and feel sexual together or he may be willing to open your relationship in a number of ways. Plenty of men are aroused by the idea of their wives with other men -few will admit it however. That can range from having an open relationship (which will include setting strong boundaries for you both) or even just using flirting or being a little naughty with other men but not really sleeping with anyone else. It’s important to be honest with everything you want, don’t want, and to admit if you might not know how you feel until you try it. Good luck, I hope you can spice up you life with your husband and repair any damage you may have done to him or your relationship. If he choses to leave you, respect that decision.
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If your husband is unaware or you aren’t in an open relationship, you need to break it off with him. It will hurt him in a way which will effect any other relationship he has moving forward. Something to remember is confession will usually bear forgiveness but if he finds out on his own it maybe way worse for you because he’ll never be able to trust you again.
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I’m sorry but the fact that you even said “please don’t judge me be nice” after what you’re doing is so shitty as a person hm sorry but no one deserves that.
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It is natural for someone to feel that way when one is not truely in love with husband/ wife. Marring for any reason exept love and commitment is unfair.
WHY are you married??? You want the attention, the tease, etc…but have no emotional or physical investment in the man you promised to love for the rest of your life…
Karen, you are an embarrassment to females everywhere.
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Leave your husband so he can find someone who will actually value him instead of stepping out because you’re “an attractive married woman” honestly disgusting and I hope he finds someone better. To some people being Married actually still means something. Wow.
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if you are not getting that attention from your hubby tell him, if he loves you he will fix it, if you continue on seeking it elsewhere you won’t have to worry your husband will divorce you and you will be free to flirt all you want
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You sound like you are a sex addict. Seek out a CSAT therapist. Look at some of Dr.Doug Weiss YouTube videos on sex addiction. Get yourself some help. It is just like any other addiction. You can only change yourself. You have to work on YOU! Because it isn’t your husband that you are not sexually attracted to, it is the excitement of this addiction. Your husband deserves better.
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Yeh… You need psychological help… Try to fear God 1st…what u doing is a sin!
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It sounds to me like you’re more into the chase and the suspense than an actual committed relationship. My opinion is that you should be single and your husband deserves better 
let him go find better
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So, are you having an affair? I think I’m just very confused. Or are you just sexually frustrated? Does your husband know?
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You dont need to sleep with everyone you have a spark with. Tell your husband and if he still chooses to be with you then work on your marriage.You need a reality check bad.
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Cut the husband lose. He deserves better.
So are you just basically wanting someone to give you the greenlight to sleep around? Your married. Act like it. Or leave your husband alone so you don’t ruin his life
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Leave him. He deserves better than a cheating ho that tries to justify her shitty actions. I’m sorry that you came here to be sugar coated and want someone to feel sorry for you, but we don’t. We feel sorry for your husband.
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So you’re married and having sex with other men?
No one deserves to be cheated on. Even a complete A hole. Leave your husband. He deserves better
Your husband definitely deserves better. And the reason why there’s no sexual attraction or sexual activity between you both is because he prolly knows you’re cheating. Do him a favor and divorce the poor guy and THAT will break your cycle.
Once a cheater always a cheater.
Sorry but you’re to into yourself and your needs that you would not only disrespect and degrade yourself for some attention and validation from other men when they already know the type of person you are just by the way you carry yourself and know they can just have sex with you and toss you right out when they’re done using you. Meanwhile you’ve betrayed your husband in the worse way. You don’t deserve a good man like him. I don’t understand how you could look him in the eye, sleep next to him after what you’ve done. You’re pretty disgusting if you ask me with low self esteem…Marriage is sacred, a unity made in one flesh, a vow you made before God u promise to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part. And for you to just say " you want to break this pattern" which i assume wasn’t the first time and the sexual attraction for you is so important…WOW! SMH 
Your selfish behavior lead to adultery. Fear God and focus on loving yourself more than pleasing your needs with random men. If you never felt any major chemistry or attraction for your husband, then why did you marry him to begin with? Is it for your own self gratification?
You know God is against treacherous treatment. He warns us over and over again to watch ourselves carefully and to not act treacherous against our spouses in the Malachi…
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Leave your husband so he can find someone who truly loves him. He deserves far better than a cheap cheater who betrays him.
It breaks my heart to know that people this selfish exists. I’m not “being mean” but think about if this was a man writing this and cheating on his wife. How sad.
My ex husband who cheated… Caught something. I hope your husband is lucky and isn’t catching what you might possibly be bringing home.
Now to answer you… Let your husband be. He isn’t the issue. You’re the issue. Even after a man sleeps with you, he ghosts you and you say “I feel unattractive.”
Get therapy because (and I’m not being a dick), it really seems like you lack something. Insecurities to name one of the many issues you’ve mentioned in your post. I hope your husband is lucky to find somebody who really loves him one day.
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Let your husband find someone he deserves
I volunteer as tribute.
And you can go be the wild person who only cares about sexual attraction all you like.
TERRIBLE ugh
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You want to break the pattern? Time for a long and hard ass look in the mirror. People who cheat are doing so for a reason and yes…you’re a cheater. That sexual attraction that’s soooooo important and doesn’t happen for you with your husband…why? For how long? If it’s been forever - why did you marry him? What you’re doing is wrong and tells me you need help…seek it…after a long talk with your husband of course.
I’m sorry, why would you be with someone you aren’t attracted to lol. As someone that was cheated on for 12 years straight, I have no sympathy for cheaters whatsoever. You should have never let it get this far, I feel sorry for your poor husband. Poor man. That’s horrible. I’m SO lost why you would marry someone you aren’t attracted to lol. You set this situation up for yourself. I’m sorry I have no words that you will find “nice” as you put it. What you are doing is wrong and just so you know, everything comes to light. Be single and stop breaking his heart. Wow
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I am truly sickened at this post. If you never felt chemistry or sexual attraction to someone why would you marry them? For money? For looks? If sexual attraction was soooooo important to you why did you enter a marriage? You just did your spouse a disservice to be tied to a woman who is not attracted to them and will cheat on them multiple times. Sorry not sorry, you are trash.
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You are actually shit and I hope your husband leaves you. Marriage is sacred. Don’t get married if you don’t want them. How idiotic. Love doesn’t lie. Love will make you do amazing things; you’ve only done terrible things
You feel unattractive because your flings behind your husbands back ghost you? Imagine how your faithful husband might feel if he knew his wife was having affairs being his back…
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You feel this way because you’re not watering your garden at home. If you cannot do right by him, let someone else happily do “your job” and step aside for him to be happy. Just because you are miserable, don’t take it out on him. Lastly, you’re a mom- think of your kids. You two have a family. Children learn from what they see. You consider yourself a good role model?? This is setting your children up for failed relationships later on down the road if your behavior continues and they’re seeing it. All around this is unhealthy and you’re dragging down innocents.
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Leave your husband, he deserves better then somebody cheating on him.
If you even cared about his feelings at all, especially if he wouldn’t agree with you having sex with another person, then leave him.
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You are a shit wife and shit person in general to even ask us not to judge …why did you even marry him if you weren’t sexually attracted to him? So basically your whole marriage is a lie
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Your poor husband. Please leave him and let him be good to someone that deserves it.
You might think you’re attractive but you’re sure acting ugly!
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Nobody in their right mind isn’t going to judge. You’re being a whore to a man who obviously has done NOTHING TO DESERVE IT. Why not leave instead of being a cheater. This kind of person is what gives women a bad name. Shame on you. Do better. Your husband deserves better than you being deceitful.
Leave your husband, he deserves better.
So, the comments section isn’t going the way you planned
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Leave him and then send his ass to me; you clearly don’t deserve or need him
Just leave him. You are just gonna end up hurting him.
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Leave your husband he deserves better
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You got some deep rooted issues that you need to uncover. Maybe some trauma you haven’t even begun to realize. It’s not fair for your husband to suffer the consequences of your promiscuity. Your attention seeking behavior along w the promiscuity could be a sign of some personality disorder. I say seek professional help. Speak to a therapist. And if you can’t stop messing around then at least let your poor husband know and let him go while you work on yourself. You owe him that much at least.
Wow its hard to be nice when you are a serial cheater… You need serious professional help and quickly. The grass isn’t greener on the other side of the fence and you sound incredibly immature for your age. What about STI’S? You’re a fool and l could keep going, but be kind… How about grow the hell up to start with.
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You should have thought of all this before you married your husband. I feel sorry for him…
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Your husband deserves better cheaters never win, I think you should tell him before he finds out. Maybe he’ll look past your infidelity and try and work things out if you get help. Otherwise you should just leave because he deserves better then that, and then you can do what ever you want with out hurting that poor man 
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I’m about as understanding as one can be. But this is hard. Like a one off, I was drinking and lonely and tripped over a dick one night is one thing, still not cool, but shit happens.
But your purposefully serial cheating on him. You know what your doing, your doing it with purpose and intent… You may honestly need sex addict anonymous meetings. You’ve done this enough times you know the grass isn’t greener and yet you keep at it.
At bare min you need to separate and get some treatment for your compulsions
I’ve been in that situation b4. 4 me its either the attraction is there or it isn’t. It does not “grow” 4 me liked my mother always suggested!! I was very attracted 2 my ex hubby but he was a liar n a cheat. I lived with a very nice guy after that but zero attraction 4 me. I couldn’t take it n moved out after 6 months. I never cheated on anyone. It’s a hard spot 2 b in I know.
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“I steal puppies from children and kill them, just so I can feel something. I know it’s wrong, but I can’t help it. Problem is - I end up feeling bad for the children after I kill their puppies. What should I do? Please be nice and don’t judge me. I’m really struggling rn.”
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Emm 1. your selfish 2. You need therapy and 3 your poor husband your no better than any man that does it on his missus, sleeping around doesn’t validate how you feel about yourself you have to do that and be honest with that man
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You should be divorcedm why marry someone you are not attracted too… Oooohh all that dirty money.
They 
you because you’re a høe. Like this whole post screams spoiled rotten. These are the posts I wish had names attached, cause man I’d tell your husband so fast. Get a divorce, and become a sex worker. That seems to be all you’re interested in anyways. Nasty.
Oh wow, miss attractive married woman you sure don’t act as one, you DAMN!! Leave your husband he deserves better ma!
I’m truly disgusted by this post! So sick!!
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Your insecurities about yourself are allowing you to behave this way. More than likely your husband doesn’t know how to handle it. Step up your game with your hubby. Give your hubby some attention. Flirt with him. At first he may not know what or how to handle it. Give him time. And stop looking outwards for attention. It’s right in front of you. Waiting.
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The reason you get ghosted afterwards is that they are there for what you are giving them, not because they like you. You probably dont even have to be attractive if you’re giving it away for free. And what a bonus that you’re married so they dont have to make any effort either. Dont give it away and think that you’re special because they want you. It’s not good for your soul. If you put the efforts into flirting with your husband, maybe it will spice things up. It’s something that you work on when married.
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I will judge you.
I feel sad for your husband. You’re basically cheating on him. You shouldn’t have gotten married if you desire flirting and sexual tension from other men.
The only way for you to break this pattern is leave you husband. He deserves someone loyal and faithful. Even if you haven’t been physical with anyone else, flirting and having sexual tension is still cheating. It’s called emotional affair. It’ll only get worse. Leave him. HE deserves better.
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Be nice??? Your nothing but a cow….tell your poor husband and go and be the slag that you already are 
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You are having a midlife crisis.
Get help. Your family doesn’t deserve your BS
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You need a hobby… and a therapist to help you work through whatever trauma you have suffered in the past to be causing this behavior.
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Please come back and update us after he finds out and leaves you. We wanna make sure you’re miserable
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