How Do I Confront the Nanny That Stole From Me?


"My friend had committed a class 5 felony. I hired her as a nanny for my children while I'm in nursing school, finishing up. I pay her weekly, and behind my back since January, she has been withdrawing money from the same atm by the house. $20 here, $40 there, sometimes multiple times within the day. Yes, I own the fact that I haven't been looking at my account balances. We went to go buy another work vehicle from my husband when we finally put 2 and 2 together and discovered these withdrawals have been at the same location every time. The gas station attendants knew me very well and were able to describe my friend and even her mother, and stated every time she goes up there, it's straight to the atm, and she always pays with cash. They've given me the CCTV footage, further proving it has been here this whole time. She doesn't know that I have this info yet. She is playing it off like she is dumb, "I'm sorry this has happened to you; I hope you find out who did it. I would never do something like that to you." Right to my face. I'm supposed to go pick her up this evening so she can be here during the week while I'm busy taking finals and during my clinical shifts. When do I confront her and how?"

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"I wouldn't pick her up, I would make the excuse "I have to go talk to the police about who possibly stole from me. They told me they have footage and witness statements and I'm finally going to find out who they are and make them pay." Let her panic. She deserves it."

"I absolutely wouldn't confront her myself. Let the authorities do so. You really never know what people will turn to in a moment of confrontation. Especially when its in regards to theft. If she's bold enough to steal from you you really don't know what else she could do. But absolutely do not allow her in your home again."

"Cancel your card immediately! Tell her you’re short on cash and will have to pay her at a later date. Take this to the police. Honestly, if you gave her your card and permission to use it, not sure if you have a case against her, but it’s worth a try."

"You don't need to confront her. You one get a backup sitter for your kids for finals and clinical and report those withdrawals as not yours to your bank. You file a police report and tell them there is video footage at the place she withdraws the money and press charges and they will take care of her. And you basically ghost her and you need cameras at your house because she will come after you if she stole from you."

"You need to let the police deal with it and not have her watch your kids one more time. Nothing can be done unless you are willing to press charges and file a police report."

"I’d take it to the police and say you want to file charges on her for stealing. I also would not trust her to babysit your child anymore. I wouldn’t confront her, who knows what she will do."

"Problem is did you give her permission to use the card if needed for the children,if so then you need to take the card and tell her it is not for personal use."

"She needs to not be alone with your kids anymore. I wouldn't confront her, I would just turn everything in to the police so they can "find out who did this"."

"Police NOW. Do not respond to her. Do you REALLY want someone like this caring for your children!?!? You can’t trust her with anything why would you even consider trusting her with your kids? Let police handle this. And change that PIN number!!"

"I wouldn't confront her at all. I would get the police involved. They can go pick her up. Male sure yu keep a copy of the cctb footage for yourself. She isn't your friend, never was."

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