So how do I help my self esteem when Iāve hated everything about myself for such a long long time? My spouse doing what he does doesnāt help obviously but Iāve learned that heāll never stop and I just have to eventually be ok with it.
(I know this post is long and Iām also not saying itās my spouseās fault Iām like this, but he did play a HUGE part in why Iām worse now (thatās a story for another post on another day) )
Any advice is welcome! Whatever I can do to get my mind out of this toxicity and to start loving myself, Iāll do
I've always had a low self esteem, almost my whole life. It gets worse throughout the years and especially now since baby #3 is on the way. I hate every little thing about me.. From my crooked teeth, to my double chin, to my flat butt, etc. I know there's things I can do to help it like exercise and maybe the right diet (I'm not overweight or anything, I just have severe body dysmorphia), but I always lose motivation. It doesn't help that my spouse is constantly saving nude/almost nude beautiful women. I've talked to him about this before and he doesn't see the issue because he chose me and loves only me. I believe him, but it honestly hurts to see these women in his phone gallery, all over his Instagram, in a saved Facebook album, etc. Men look and so do women and that's totally ok! But it kills my self esteem when 98% of the women he saves is of ones with big/huge breasts, whereas I have small perky breasts.. Ones with big butts, whereas mine is small and flat.. Skinny women and thick women. He says he loves my body but considering the type of women he likes to get off to/save/look up, it just doesn't seem like it..
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I control my insecurities or, at least, help make it better?
Counseling is great!
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Very inconsiderate of your spouse to do that. I would not like it if my husband did this He is supposed to be satisfied with you and not look at porn Talk to him and put a stop to it Ask him if heās ok with you looking at men ?
First off men will never be saving pics of women that look like their wives because their wives donāt look like porn stars most of the time lol itās the fantasy and bs of it all lol. Your low self esteem is quite common especially after having kids because our whole body changes. I have huge insecurities too where before I was confident as hell. I think even though the girls your husband is looking at is normal for a guy it still doesnāt make it right that he continues to do it knowing how you feel. He can look them up on his own time but no need to be saving them or shoving them in your face. He is being disrespectful and no you shouldnāt just have to tolerate that. Also being a mom you are so focused on the kids, house, work, husband etc you forget about taking care of yourself. I hardly eat half the time yet am over weight and hate it yet donāt take the time for myself. Iām slowly working on fixing this and realizing I deserve just as much as I give everyone else. I got my friend to measure me at the beginning of March. Iām not following a diet or anything, just cutting down my amount of food and crap food intake and being more active. Iāve already lost a good amount and starting to see a change. I made sure to try on a pair of jeans that hardly went passed my thighs so that way as I lose they get higher and higher haha find tricks to keep yourself going
You never have to be okay with it. You do however need to learn to love yourself and respect yourself so your children will learn it as well. I would give you my opinion and that is all it is: 1. seek counseling to find things you like about yourself and fix things you donāt ; 2. journal each day something good, sometimes it is hard to see but there is always something good about you; 3. stay off his phone, it only makes you more insecure; 4. put on makeup and dress up for you not him; 5. do things you like; 6. look into the cost of fixing your teeth or whatever else you really want done, and work towards it. 7. lastly I hope you can find love for yourself, tell yourself everyday you are wonderful, you are a mother, a strong woman. I have always had things I tell myself. remember you have to be enough without a man for your children because you are.
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You better start saving some schlong in ya phone where he can see it!!! See how he feels 
Care less. If it bothers you in yourself and you have the ability to fix/change what bothers you, i.e exercise or whatever is in your control and you want to fix it for you, then do it. If its not in your control - care less, the worry is not worth it. If someone is making you feel bad about it - it says more about them then you. And you need to speak up and state the negative comments is bad and call them on it. If he cant respect you or acknowledge you telling him an issue and him keep doing it - then you stay and deal, or leave, or go to counselling and talk it out. you dont need to ālearnā to deal with any thing from anyone, if you dont want. Roles reversed, would he like it?
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Iām on 3 antidepressants for the same issuesā¦ this sounds like I could have wrote almost the exact post!!
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Donāt waste your time on anyone that doesnāt appreciate you or understand your needs. Heās not in tune with you at all. Heās not getting the most basic common sense ways to treat and love a lady. You are a lady. Youāre patient, kind, loving, loyal, and beautiful. Heās ignoring the very heart of your existence. Lack for respect of you is a number one no-no for anything long term.
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You donāt have to accept disrespect. Get some couples counseling. He should be understanding of your feelings and having pictures like that saved all over the place is obsessive and unhealthy. If he isnāt willing to work with you on this I would seriously consider ending the relationship.
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If my husband had other womenās pictures saved in his phone he wouldnāt be my husband. Itās not a self esteem thing, itās a respect thing.
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You should not have to just ābe okayā with that. My sonās father always did the exact same thing, it kills your self esteem.
I understand that itās human nature to look at other people. But for your husband to go out of his way to save pictures and make albums on Facebook of them (thatās just creepy and weird in my opinion to be honest), thatās disrespectful to you.
If I had a boyfriend/fiancƩ/ husband, I would never want to disrespect him by doing that, and I would hope he would do the same for me.
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1- asking a partner to stop doing something because it bothers you and them doing it anyways is a HUGE red flag. Itās saying this stupid thing is more important that your comfort. Like, whatās the big deal? Nudie pics are easily accessible online there is NO reason to save them.
2- loving yourself is really nothing that anyone can do for you BUT behavior in a partner can make it harder.
Start taking action on what is inside, helps with motivation for the outside stuff. Iād get started with a therapist, progress is hard on an unsteady foundation. Wonāt be easy, but focus on the end goal when it gets hard.
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i was at that point once with my ex husband after leaving i saw how beautiful i am iām plus size he all ways made fun of me but i learned to LOVE MYSELF i learned not to care what others think it really helped a lot not saying leave your husband but learn to love who u are may sound silly but mine stated with a haircut my hair was really long and i cut it short man did that change me! u can be sexy try new things new clothes maybe something youād never wear u may love it donāt let your self go i know itās hard with kids but you can do it FEEL YOURSELF GIRL!!
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I have the same problemā¦ my entire life I have felt like the ugly on or the fat one or like after kids my boobs arenāt nice and my belly is mushy and idkā¦ I just have always felt ugly and grossā¦ The only thing that has helped is marrying my second husbandā¦This man goes above and beyond to make me feel like the most beautiful woman heās ever laid eyes onā¦ He texts me from work throughout the day just to tell me that he loves me and how lucky he is to have me,he tells me Iām a great wife and a great mother everyday, he comes and holds me while Iām cooking ,or washing dishesā¦ He always makes comments that are a little x rated at the perfect time so that I feel sexy ā¦ He just tells me and heās always loving me and touching me and telling me ā¦ Every single day!!! He never gives me time to second guess him,or think heās nuts bc he is always proving just how much he does find me attractive and love meā¦ Itās such an amazing feelingā¦ Every woman deserves
Therapy, therapy & more therapy to work on your self-esteem, determine what you want from relationships and marriage, and practical strategies for when you get to āstinkinā thinkināā.
Find something youāre good at and build on that. Also yes to a gratitude journal, and a list of whatās good & beautiful about you that you add to every day.
Work to earn money to fix whatever bugs you most if you want. Get a workout buddy to keep you exercising. Also exercise releases serotonin. Find a fun way to exercise so you look forward to it vs. dreading it. Maybe something more meditative and in your head like yoga, Tai chi or martial arts. Or adult ballet or dance class to make you feel graceful, fluid and sexy.
Talk about your husbandās porn addiction in therapy, and how to deal with it. Ask your therapist for ways to talk to him about it, or if you conclude itās over, how to get divorced safely and sanely.
Maybe get a glamour shot or boudoir shot done to prove to yourself how gorgeous you are. Buy yourself some pretty lingerie or get a makeover at a makeup counter. Confidence is still the best way to make yourself look more beautiful and desirable. And if you get meds, understand it can be a trial and error thing to find the right one/s that work best for you, so donāt get discouraged. If you arenāt crazy about your therapist, switch until you find the one that āclicks.ā
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I control my insecurities or, at least, help make it better?
Oh bless you 
I really do feel you. I used to be the same (before kids) except I was extremely skinny, so no bum, no boobs etc. And my ex partner used to look at curvy women and save photos of women with massive boobs and bums! It used to make me so upset:( then after my 2 kids I felt so much better about my body as I put on a bit of weight, still had a small bum tho hahahaa but it was an improvement!
Iām now pregnant with my third and I have horrible veins all up my right leg theyāre twisted and knotted and horrible, and Iāve just cried and cried about being unhappy with my body, how ill never feel comfortable wearing a dress or anything again and got myself so down over it which I havenāt felt in years.
Iāve now got to the point where with or without these flaws and things that I find unattractive on myself, I need to love myself.
Maybe find some self love like the above person said and find focus in your life.
I hope youāre okay x
Seriously got to this point more then once in my lifetime. I finally got tired of feeling that way. Yes, there is plenty that can be done to help you with what you perceive as physical flaws. But I learned over time, got to heal the inside too. As silly as this sounds, I went to Pinterest. Amazing the amount of things you can find on that site. Anyways. Type in the search bar āSelf Love.ā Start reading. Just go to what guides you. At the same time, work on the outside. Change the things you know you can for your own self esteem. The things you canāt, start learning ways to accept. You have to love you and accept you as you are. Learn to love those things about yourself. And do it all for yourself, you alone. Itās a hell of a road getting there. Iām still learning. But Iāve gotten to where I can accept what I see in the mirror. I do it for me, to feel better about me, to learn to love me. Iām tired of lacking the self confidence on all fronts. Iāve realized on my journey for self love and self acceptance, the more I do for me, the more confident I become. And those flaws I used to see are slowly turning into my āsuperpowers.ā I have always been the girl who gets cheated on. And more often then not, itās someone who I see as prettier. It got so bad I quit taking pictures with my kids b/c I hated how I looked. I wouldnāt look in mirrors. It has effected a lot for me. It is a struggle, I still have bad days. But Iām getting there. Iām currently engaged. My fiance, heās amazing! And so damn good looking! He could have anybody the way I see it. The insecurities I had in that alone have dwindled to almost nothing.
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I control my insecurities or, at least, help make it better?
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I control my insecurities or, at least, help make it better?
Counselling is my advice, or if you are not ready for that, there are great self help books out there that help with low- self esteem and body image. There are even people online who do self love coaching!
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He married you. You are pregnant for the 3rd time. Maybe heās the one with a problem.
If I had small boobs and a flat bum Iād be very happy.
Not many women like their bodies. Maybe you could just tone up if you think that will help you. Otherwise look in the mirror everyday and tell yourself you are beautiful.
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Seek therapy. Get yourself help. I also suffer from body dysmorphia. It takes time but therapy does help. I too have a small butt and small perky breasts. My husband used to look and saved images. When I explained that it was causing issues for me mentally he immediately stopped and deleted everything. if he isnt willing to stop, leave. There are men out there that will support you, lift you up and help you feel the way u want to feel about yourselfā¦ Hating things about yourself sucks, but youāre not alone in the boatā¦ Good luck.
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It sounds like these insecurities run very deep. self belief and trusting yourself work but are difficult with very low self esteem. Check out Dr Mindy Pelz on you tube. She talks about diet and fasting to help with mood. I know off the top of my head a 48 hour fast increases dopamine and happiness. Hypnosis to eliminate cause of low self esteem is very beneficial too.
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Yes there are things that you can do to help yourself love your own body more BUT he is doing something wrong. In a loving and committed relationship you donāt ālookā at other people that way. He shouldnāt be saving pictures of other women like that. I know lots of people say dumb things like āeverybody looksā but itās not true, only immature people who arenāt seriously committed to the person they love do things like that. My husband isnāt interested in looking at other women, pictures or real life, and I just had our second baby 8 weeks ago. It sounds like you need to find someone who really appreciates you and your body the way it is!
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I would once again tell him exactly how it makes you feel in detail i know you already have but this time give him a ultimatum say your not prepared to continue to be made to feel that way and you cant build on your self esteem while someone is draining it in such ways, you need to be happy for yourself and your children and if he cant stop his behaviour and help you rebuild yourself he isnt worth staying with he will only further strip you over time and every waking day will be hell
The only thing that helped me was focusing on what God says about me and not what the world or the voice in my head says. God says I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I was chosen before the beginning of the world to be his child, adopted into his family, and he is making a place ready for me so I can come and live with him eternally. In short, he thinks Iām to die for and he proved it. The best part? He thinks the same thing about you! 
Hugs!
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Run like hell, youāll respect and love yourself more
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Read the book you are not your thoughts by Frances Trussell, Iāve bought it so many times to reread as I keep giving it to my friends it changed my life
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Pornography is addictive. Sounds like he is the one with the problem and could use some counselling himself.
God doesnāt make mistakes. He
makes us all different in some way for a reason. He created you and knows you are beautiful just the way you are. Look in the mirror every morning and find one thing about yourself that you like. Say my eyebrows are pretty or my teeth are strong or my lips have a really nice shape or I like my hair etc. There is someone somewhere that would love to have what you have. Say loving positive things to that face in the mirror. Love yourself. Iāve learned to do it. You can too. Hugs
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The simplest and most effective answer: therapy.
Seriously, it does wonders
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You need to talk to a counselor about your body issues and look into intermittent fasting instead of extreme diet and exercise
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Omg girl Iām so sorry you feel that way honey, your post describes me with my body to a damn Tā¦ except I donāt have a husbandā¦ its really hardā¦ I didnāt like my crooked teeth so I quit taking care of themā¦ Iām 31 years old and every single tooth in my mouth had to be surgically removedā¦ I have a told denture I wear when I need to but the bottom was made wrong so it donāt fitā¦ so that affects me too
Youāre on baby #3 youāre doing something right.
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Wow! Sheās pregnant with #3 and so many are telling her to leaveā¦ This obviously has been an issue for at least 3 years with the pics and probably all this womanās life with her own lack of self esteem. Best to confront him and let him know how this makes you feel and hopefully he listens, otherwise try counseling. He very well may have an addiction to looking at naked women and has probably been this way since he was a teenā¦ He married you and has a family with you so, if everything else in your relationship is normal and healthy, Iād say he definitely loves you.
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A quick look is ok, but actually saving the photos to his phone and constantly looking, especially when they are in the nude? Thatās just disrespectful to you. He should be building you up, not just giving you a āIām with youā as an answer, he should be saving your photos to his phone instead. Iād say this is what the cause of your insecurities are to be entirely honestā¦ 
Throw the man away, focus on your self love and seek professional help for it if need be, focus on making yourself feel good then find a partner who will equally make you feel good. 
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Yoga. Trust me. It saved me physically and mentally.
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No. You DO NOT have to be ok with that. If he loves you he will stop- plain and simple. If he doesnāt stop, wellā¦ you know what you should do.
I promise that men DO change. Itās possible, but they have to want itā¦.and you have to make your standards clear-and enforce them.
Donāt live in anguish and constant feeling of inadequacy for him to get a quick nut. Youāre better than that.
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Save all tax return money you get from all kids and go get your body done! Aināt no shame in it! Iāve always gone to my surgeon when something is bothering me. And let me say that my husband was the same way! Iāve always had a round ass and decent boob size but I hated my hips I always wanted an hour shape figure or less bra rolls or little imperfections that I got fixed and him doing somewhat of what your husband is doing didnāt help! So when I got my shit fixed and I started to get much more attention he didnāt like it and would want Me to dress completely covered up! I started posting pictures of myself because I felt great and confident. He is part of the issue. Not completely but he doesnāt make that any easier for you and letās not talk about the amount of disrespect he gives you just by doing that! Donāt diet. It doesnāt help. Get yourself educated about fitness and eat how you want and should and you wonāt have to diet. Itās ok to be insecure we all are but donāt let your husband add to it. Give him what he likes to see if he appreciates other men looking just like he does. Best of luck! And lay your foot down donāt let him disrespect you like that. I made my husband clean that shit up off his social media. I didnāt marry my dog! I married a man and he needs to act like it or heās out.
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Get a therapist. And dump him.
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No way would I allow my husband under any circumstances to have nude pictures of other women. You husband is very inconsiderate and rude to do these things. He needs to grow up and concentrate on the woman he has.
Wonāt change? Only because u allow it.
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A lifetime of low self-esteem and I had the hair the legs the face the butt boobs but it doesnāt matter because youāre so right itās how we feel about ourselvesā¦ Motherhood saved me because our protection and love is so fierce that you would do for your child what you could not do for yourselfā¦ Someone taught me to imagine what would I want for my little girlā¦ Would I shame her for crooked teeth and tell her her butt was ugly? Let someone hurt her by flaunting pictures of what she is not in her face while sheās pregnant? My guess is someone somewhere when you were very little told you you were ugly or made you feel that wayā¦ What would you say to a person who tried to do that to your baby girl? Take all that Mama power and all that Mama love and parent yourself thatās the jobā¦to parent yourself to love yourself so fiercely you can model that and give that to your own daughter before itās too lateā¦ What would you say if her husband while she was pregnant was doing this to her? This worked for me and helped me to learn this idea of how would I even begin to know how to love myself?.. Just think of that primal fierce love you have for your baby girl and do at least that for yourselfā¦ I love you ā¦God loves youā¦ your children love you and you are so beautiful beyond incredible and if this man cannot see this then he will need to deal with Mama who loves so intensely she will fight to protect her own from any neglect disrespect or abuse!
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My ex left me for someone else when i was 5 months pregnant and we were just over a year into our marriage. I was devastated but what gote through was therapy and positive affirmations. I know its not the exact same situation but the positive affirmations really helpt me get through it. I felt like i wasnt enough and that it was all my fault when really he was the problem. If your man cant respect you, you need a new man!
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Your husband chose you for your insecurities, he knew he could get away with shitting on you, because you donāt have the confidence or self worth to set boundaries, at the moment itās looking, but my guess is, it wonāt be long before heās having a string of affairs.
You need to learn to respect yourself and set boundaries on how others treat you. Iām guessing you had a pretty crappy childhood with overbearing parents, they didnāt instil self worth in you, they probably put you down a lot and knocked your self esteem at every opportunity.
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Well, why donāt you save some pictures of cowboys, policemen, ect, taller, bigger muscles, ect. Fight fire with fire. You should see a professional about the self esteem thing. You seem to want to get rid of your husband, but want it to be his fault.
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you have to love you first before anyone else can these "faults " you mention are superficial find the inner beauty your strength comes from your own mind
Look at yourself every single day and MAKE yourself say something positive. Whether youāre curvy or boney tell yourself you love the way you look. You love your hair. Your smile, your butt, your legs and arms, your neck anything compliment yourself everyday and as much as you can. You can say it in your head or scream it to the rooftops. I donāt have body dysmorphia, but my family is larger and I am very small. I had to tell myself growing up that it was okay I was the size I was. I am just as beautiful as anyone else. I startes doing this and now you canāt say anything to me that would change my mind.
Also, I would steer clear of him is he cant respect the way it makes you feel. I hope everything gets better for you,
Porn addictions are a difficult thing to live with. Ive known a couple of friends who had that issue. The porn becomes an escape for people (like alcohol or video games do) and his attraction for you would be separate but your sex life would definitely be impacted and itll only get worse. He needs to see someone to deal with it.
Focus on your growing baby, and then see how you are the temple for new life. A miracle is occurring inside you!
He can look at girls without saving the pictures to his phone. I think that would help. As well as I donāt believe that people should be consciously looking at others sexually when your in a relationship, I get porn and everything but even that can get to be a bit much.
But my best advice is become his obsession, learn any kinks he has or would want to try, dress up in sexy or cute outfits in the bed room, having heated make out sessions, and many people grow out of this but me and my fiance havent, hickeys. Marking them helped me a lot. Iāll leave them on his chest and hips especially. If you donāt like him using those things, do as much as you can to try to āsatisfyā him when have time. I do it with mine a lot and accidentally ended up having a way higher sex drive than him from doing so which sucks sometimes but Iād rather have to use toys and stuff than him use porn because I know I wonāt think of anything but him and itās a healthy way to handle it has it doesnāt cause any negative affects towards them.
I think you should go get a breast enhancement and after he pays that bill he will probably realize that maybe making you feel insecure is too costly! (Kind of kidding)
May say to him have you looked in the mirror lately see what he says
Get counseling to help with your body image and low self-esteem.
You need zinc and B-6.
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Sounds to me like the real problem may be his porn consumption 
Therapy is always great for body issues or personal issues in general
Why is it ok for a woman to have these pics of men in their phone but when a guy has them heās disrespectful? Theyāre pictures! Just pictures!
Just work on believing wat u have be content about it. Just know that u had a baby and thats a blessing already. Just leave him hell stay with u no Matt wat all guys like that
Your husband and you need counseling
Iām so sorry. I have always told my daughterās that we are our own worse critics. Your husband is another story and his disrespect might be a control issue. Only you can decide if you want to live that way. Hugs.
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You need to go onto therapy but also youāre hormonal which doesnāt help. and your SO is just an assā¦sorry but heās being a dick
Once you have had number 3, have a break and focus on you. Teeth can be fixed. Bums can be sorted, go to the hairdressers and pamper yourself. All these things can be fixed. I would also suggest a bit of meditation to help your self esteem. Donāt look in a mirror for a while and focus on what you will see you will love. And your hubby is an insensitive jerk. 
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When that little voice starts saying that negative shit? You gotta talk back and say nice things about yourself. Things YOU like about yourself.
My therapist said that fighting the invasive thoughts like that will eventually get you to start doing it automatically and she was right. 
It has really helped me through a lot of hard times. 
Hereās what you do honey.
1st - look in the mirror and find 1 thing a day to compliment yourself on. Purky small breast after 3 kids, girl thats a gold star. Buy yourself something.
2- Tell that son of a biscuit if you find 1 more frackin picture of a woman on his phone, in his car or anywhere else that aināt family his butt is out and when he is paying child support and alimony pictures are all he is gonna have.
3- get you a playgirl or porn and watch it in front of him but get gay porn. All men. Tell him, he likes looking at T and A then you are gonna look at D and A. If he says anything say but honey their gay, whats the issue. Make sure they are supersized.
4. Cut off the " you know what", do not allow him to use you while looking at something else.
May sound harsh but been there done that and no t-shirt. I now have a man that adores me and does not look twice at anyone else. We have such a healthy relationship. He is my best friend and you deserve the same.
You donāt āhave to be ok withā ANYTHING.
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Giving someone an admiring glance is one thing, but saving pictures is another. Itās disrespectful and if he knows it hurts you, it should stop.
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Counseling to work on your self esteem would be helpful. Youāve got to reprogram your negative self talk into more positive. Try listening to and practicing affirmations. Say them everyday until you believe them
So first off, you DO NOT EVER HAVE TO BE OK WITH IT. Stop telling yourself that. He needs to have some fucken respect for you. If he loves you like he says, then he would give that crap up in a hit min. " been there done that. The moment he feels he has not disrespected your feelings, thatās also the moment he has no respect for you or your relationship. Woman need to stop telling their selves that, all men do it, itās a man thing I just have to get use to it etc. That is a lie from the put of hell. Him looking & saving stuff like that is a sin in Godās eyes.
And for you hun the fact that you hate yourself the way you do, I have also been there. I am mother of 5 oldest being 25 youngest is 7. I have hated myself for years, I have contemplated suicide, I have beat myself up not feeling like a good mom. Guess what, I have learned to love the skin I am in. If you canāt love yourself you canāt love anyone. You were made perfectly for you to love. Just always know the world is better with you in it, your kids need you always. And for the SO. If he canāt learn to respect you or your feelings. Sweetheart I would say run, someone is definitely going to be out there to treat you like the queen you are.
If you need to talk, or need someone to help you feel better in your skin. DM me. I always have an open ear!
Have a Blessed & Never Stressed day 
Your husband should have more respect for you then this especially after telling him how u feel about it, itās not ok
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Iām 44. 260 lbs. I learned recently that no matter what I do. Iām not losing this weight. Be happy with who you are
Society is the problem not you. When the world stops seeing skeletons as healthy they will see the beauty in us all.
Iād rather be 260 and proud of who I am then a 120 pond skeleton with bones showing through my skin.
If I want to loose weight my goal is to loose the extra 60 lbs
Be proud of you. The only one that can body shame us is ourselves. If youāre insecure make a change. If youāre done with youā¦ then thumb your nose at everyone else.
YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE YOU NEED TO IMPRESS
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Doesnt matter what people say is ānormalā. If it hurts you and you have expressed to him that you do not like it, he should respect you and not do that shit.
Honey, heās gonna so far past ājust lookingā heās saved them to his phone, made a Facebook album (which is hella creepy), you told him how it makes you feel and he continued, so sorry to tell you this but he doesnāt love you. He may say he does, but that isnāt love. He wants his cake and to eat it too. Leave his ass, get some counseling for yourself and find you a Real Man who is actually going to respect the boundaries you have set, and appreciate you for you. I promise those things would make a huge difference in helping your self-esteem
First off thatās super disrespectful of your husband, especially since youāve told him how you feel about that and you absolutely donāt have to put up with that. Second, loving yourself can be super hard even without not having a ācheerleaderā husband. Any advice I could give about how to love yourself will not sink in unless your ready to really love yourself. Iād suggest counseling.
If you have body issues, the LAST thing your man should be doing is looking at other females
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Honey you honestly need to see a therapistā¦ Someone to talk to weekly. Counseling is the way to go. You need to love yourself. Join an all female workout support group for motivation if anything not to change anything about yourself but to help yourself be healthy for your little ones. Mind and body sister love yourself, in the end we are all made different.
Go to therapy. We all have issues honestly, some more than others but I honestly think therapy should be normalized and we should all go
Get a workout partner that can help motivate you! My boyfriend is my workout partner and my biggest supporter. You wonāt motivate yourself until you see results!
You are 100% in charge of your self esteem, please dont for a second feel that your karmic infant of a husband is in charge of that, meanwhile you are not his broodmare, producing children for his convenience, move on with your life and let him find out how those young hotties feel about a man who shops for side action while his family waits at home
First off NO you donāt eventually have to be ok with it, or anything that makes you feel worthless or unwanted and undesirable. You are beautiful the way you are and if he canāt see that then heās NOT the ONEā¦
Good luck and NEVER stop loving your self for
Lose the husband and a lot of your body image perceptions will go away
Shadow work and mirror work. You need to look into your soul and heal whatās inside and then whatās outside will matter less to you.
And you may want to consider that your partner is preventing you from healing and adding more than you want to admit to your mental health decline and you may want to think about what life could be like without them.
I find so many things wrong with me. So I hardly take pictures and Iām not in front of the mirror. I am what I am. 
First of all, you are not alone! Countless women feel the exact same way! Second, talk to a licensed counselor. There are people trained and experienced that specialize in body image. Lastly, you are unique and wonderfully made. Inside and out. Your partner seems to have his own issues in how he views women, relationships etc. those are his to own and work out. Focus on your own well being and self love! Good luck!!
Take him to counseling. If the photos bother you that much he needs to respect you and stop. Your self loathing will grow deeper and your marriage and you will suffer.
Stay positive. Strength training and healthy lifestyle/eating ->get under the barbell. It will challenge you, push you past your comfort zone, and help you feel strong and confident. Your body is capable of amazing changes. Take before pictures of yourself, and weekly pictures for updates Therapy, writing out and saying words of affirmation, internet/social media detox.
Iāve been in a similar situation. I know this is easier said than done but itās clearly sounds like you need to take action and help yourself. Only you can do it, not your husband, not your children, there is never a good timeā¦ trust me. You have to take little steps to improve your mind set. Each day the smallest step makes the biggest difference. Find a basic fitness routine that focuses on your butt and toning, soon you will feel strong enough to go harder. Working out realises endorphins so you will 100% feel better about yourself. This is the only way other wise you will forever compare yourself to others. In order to be at peace with your body you have to be confident about it and in turn your husband will see this and I guarantee his eyes will only be for you. Feeling sexy is a mindset you get from self praise and blowing through your person physical set goalā¦ all your issue you stated are honestly easily fixedā¦ if you truely dislike your teeth, you can get them straightened at the dentist, but donāt do anything because you want to keep someone. Only ever do something because you want it not for someone else. I hope you stay true to yourself and build a beautiful mindset because you are beautiful.
Simple solution. Divorce the guy. Pretty obvious if heās made your self esteem worse heās an emotional abuser. Youāll feel better about yourself when heās gone. Oh and therapy. Get therapy.
I feel from my own experiencesā¦ start doing things for yourself is a good start. Things just for you that you enjoy and build on that. Your focus is currently outward focused. You need to look inside yourself and focus on you. Once you do that the answers will come and your confidence will grow as you learn to trust yourself. Itās not about him really itās about changing how you feel about yourself.
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Part of having self-esteem is having respect for yourself. If youāre okay with your husband disrespecting you by ogling other women and āgetting offā to pornographic images, then you need to do some self-reflection on why that is. Marriage is about more than just love; itās about making a commitment to support the one you love, however they need it. If his actions arenāt in line with that, then you need to tell him so. Stop making excuses for his rudeness and stand up for yourself, girl!
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I would not put up with him looking at photos. He must be immature or a young man who has not grown up. You have 3 kids together? Being a single mother with 3 kids is pure hell. He says he loves you and you love him? Please try and work it out. I have the same feelings about myself. I am tall, 5ā11ā. 2 men I have had long term relationships with, 1 married and 1 lived with would tell stories of their ex petite wife or girlfriend. One had a crush on Valerie Bertinelli when young. Any petite woman we see, he will say, " Thatās a beautiful woman." I have a no butt, birthed 4 children. My breasts are large and now sagging. I could go on and on. If this is your last baby, as he/she gets older start working on yourself. Make good friends or relatives who can apply your makeup, get good haircuts. I know how u feel but, you have to make an attempt to feel better about yourself. Dress up for church or outings. Etc. Do it for you, not anyone else. When I am working with people I feel better about myself. As your kids get older you can do more. Oh, one more thing, men could really care less about breast size. Bless us all.
Just stop it Show me a perfect woman 
No everyone has issues with parts of themselvesOnly look in the mirror once a day
Your children just see you as Mum and they love every part of you as you love them As for the nude pic bit they are not real ignore them Go outside and sit in the sunshine Please try not to be hard on yourself play with your kids that should cheer you up Lots of happiness to you xxjxx
I know that feeling of physical distress. Iāve been bald since I was 26, and have an issue with hair police all over my body. The truth is, self worth isnāt a physical trait. And itās not something that fluctuates. If I was with the woman of my dreams and she looks at guys that have hair or hairless chests and back, I know she is missing something that she wants. The truth is love, heās looking at the menu for something to satisfy his craving. When he doesnāt even realize that he has you, or heās afraid to lose you. I stop looking at other women when Iām dating, because I know the one that I want is the one that Iām with. Itās up to you when enough is enough. There are plenty of people out there that will be satisfied with your beauty, and will only want that in their life.
If you truly do have severe body dysmorphia, you should be seeing a therapist especially during a time where changes are happening to your body due to a pregnancy. Even women without dysmorphias struggle with body image and self esteem but maybe if you donāt love your body yet, at least accept and respect it. It has safely carried, nourished and delivered two healthy children and recovered by all physical means and is now going to do so for another child. It is strong, capable and resilient. I would also recommend a coupleās therapist and see what they have to say about him saving nude pics.
Husband needs to learn to respect you first of all. Second, realize that your body is just your body, and does not define who you are as a person. When you can come to love and accept yourself on a deeper level, then you can start to make positive changes to your physical body, without getting down on yourself. Realize that changing your body takes a lot of time and work, and you can only get there in small steps. Perhaps find a support system who can reaffirm these things for you, maybe a therapist who can support you. Good luck
We are responsible for our own happiness and our own feelings of self worth. It took years to come to this realization, but itās the truth. The husband has nothing to do with it. Look inside yourself, not at him. Work on yourself with the help of a trained professional.
Ignore it. Work on your self esteem. You are the only one who can do it. There are books to help you love yourself.
Kick him in the Axx and tell him to grow up.
Then go look in the mirror and tell yourself that you love yourself and that you are beautiful.
Ignore him, be very busy, donāt look or talk to him.
Give him that silent treatment and it will kill him.
Then start going out with your friends leave him home.
Act like you are single.
He does, so can you.
Ask your husband how he would feel if you were doing what he is doing.
Alot of those big boobed, big butt women would love to have small breasts and a flat butt. Consider yourself lucky. Your husband has the problem, not you.