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"My husband and I have 3 children, all girls. An 8-year-old and twins that are 4 months old. We both work, both foot the bill. So it’s not that. Maybe I’m the crazy one but I possibly may want another baby in a few years (may or may not) but he absolutely without a doubt does not want any more kids. Even if one were to be a boy lol he says absolutely not. How do I deal with that?? I know it’s not fair to decide this for him if he doesn’t want that but I feel it’s also unfair to me to take that from me as well. I always wanted a big family and never had siblings. I LOVE the size of our family as he also does and is an excellent dad. I get it, I have 3 but I just don’t want to close the door completely. I feel this should be a mutual agreement but I can’t agree to say absolutely no more and he can’t compromise to even say maybe. This is years looking ahead, “he may change his mind” but no he really won’t. He’s done. I just don’t know how to deal with that. I feel he’s taking that away from me by making my decisions for me"
TOP ANSWERS (AS SELECTED BY MODERATOR):
The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.
"You JUST had TWINS. Give the man a break. My husband and I won’t even talk about another until our first is over a year. You’re still in survival mode at four months and I can’t even imagine having twins. Give it time. You both might change your minds many times over. Enjoy the littles."
"Be happy with what you’ve got"
"he doesn’t have to compromise and say maybe. if he says he’s done then he’s done and that’s completely ok. you should compromise and be ok with that."
"We have twin boys and I want another and my husband doesn’t. I just said OK and I remember that I’m happy and I have a family. Even though you have other children as a twin mom it’s another level having twins. Wait until they’re 3 and rethink it."
"I’d say wait til the twins are running around and then see. Things can change naturally so maybe. But perhaps putting on a five year plan to revisit will help both of you communicate about it"
"You feel like he’s taking away from you when he’s gave you 3? He might know he can mentally handle 3 and doesn’t want to keep starting over. What if you COULDNT have kids after 3 and he wanted some and it was a deal breaker for him? Just imagine the other foot. Or leave and go to someone else who might give you what you want, but be half the man."
"Because it mentions periods for like maybe 5 minutes of the movie if that , people need to get over it"
"He’s not taking anything from you. He’s got three kids and doesn’t want anymore. Everyone is allowed to change their mind at some point, three obviously is enough for him. If it’s that big of an issue then walk away, or spend however many years waiting for him to change his mind."
"And it’s not fair to him to have another baby when he clearly doesn’t want one. If the man says no, respect it. An if it means that much to you then divorce and find another man that will have your 4th baby with you. Might be your hormones. Give your body time to relax and let them grow up a bit. Maybe you might rethink it. Lol coming from someone who has three kids. Whole different ball game baby."
"Honestly either let it be or move on and find someone who wants kids later on he can’t make you change your mind and you can’t make him that’s the only choice you have is to leave him or accept the fact that you may not have another kid"
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