How does everyone deal with crazy mother in laws?! Mine is so crazy she never leaves us alone. She always has to know what we are doing every day. She is constantly telling us how to raise our child, what we should and shouldn’t be feeding him. She goes against anything we say when she babysits him. If she’s over for dinner, she makes up her plate before I can and only gives her what she wants and mashes it up (she’s almost 2) she doesn’t eat mashed food anymore he likes to feed himself. She still buys the baby purée food from the store for him and always telling me I shouldn’t be giving him certain foods. She’s also telling us that she’s making an appointment for our son to get baptized despite our wishes, which we have told her multiple times we will decide later. Plus, she gets angry when we don’t call every two days. We have to spend every holiday with them which I explained we eventually would spend Christmas’s at our own house with our own kids (she has three kids) she expects everyone and their kids to get together every holiday and if you don’t she’s mad She even tried to plan our whole wedding. Then I was mad we didn’t call her and tell her what our plan was (like the food, desserts, and colors) Please tell me I’m not the only one ?!? The list could go on forever, or maybe it’s just me being crazy? Haha
Your partner needs to have a serious talk with her. She was overstepping so many boundaries
Cut the cord. Put your foot down.
I have no advice here as I adore my MIL but yours sounds batshit! I would definitely be going off on her!!
DITCH HER oh my god. Your kid not hers, honey and if it were me I’d be DAMNED if my MIL said they were getting my child baptized. If her son hasn’t said anything by now he won’t. Be the bitch. That’s the only way she’ll listen.
Sounds like my aunt with her son😆 she literally took the baby and had her baptized by herself. Over domineering. They cut her out of their lives completely it got so ridiculous
It’s not just your job. Your husband needs to tell his mother to back off. You married him not his mom. Simple tell her that she raised her family now it’s your turn to raise yours.
Cut MIL OUT or put your foot down if he wont do it you need to
I can relate . But mine stopped . So how she stopped is put my foot Down told my kids father to tell her to back of of or I would . So he told her she took time to do so but she stopped all that .
Dont let her babysit if you dont like what she does. Tell your husband to speak up or you will. It continues because you let it.
LMAO u signed up for that on ur wedding day
Sounds like she had really bad control issues. It is time for you to be the Bitch! Her son is going to continue to let her run over you both. If she doesn’t follow the rules put her in time out…
No visits with the grandchild until she does it your way! She raised her kids her way this is your kid
You should have known what you signed up for before you said I do but now either put your foot down or have your husband do it
I’d just stop answering calls set boundaries your lives dont revolve around her
Stand up for yourself.
Tell her how its gonna be!! Your kids- your life-your rules etc. No need to go full Rambo on her but…?
Talk to her.
I know, it’s horrible but that’s really the only thing you can do.
Don’t cut her out, that woman loves you guys and sometimes people don’t know how to show it.
Your husband needs to stand up for you both and your rules for your child.
She raised her kids one way and lots of people don’t understand others parenting choices. Just talk to her. Don’t tell her what to do, don’t force her to stop all at once (some things are habit) and don’t expect a miracle in a week.
my fiance finally realized how toxic his parents were. we no longer talk to them thank goodness
Move to the other side of the country!! Set Boundaries!! If she doesn’t respect them then cut off any time with her. She will either respect or lose out. My m-i-l constantly disrespected boundaries and I got tired of it. She was pissed but I stuck to it. Thankfully she is two hours away.
I am half joking about moving
I never had that problem. MIL and I got along great. Sometimes we would talk on the phone 3 times a day.
Nope!! You’re Not Crazy!! As I Told My Kiddos who just got married, This Is YOUR LIFE!! and while yeah it is great to have the in-laws and parents on the sidelines…the innercircle needs to be You, Your Spouse, Kids…In order to make the Primary Team. You have to do what is Best for YOU!! All things Considered… It all about Respect for Your New Beginning Family…Hopefully she will understand …Goodluck…
I would definitely put your foot down. You do not want your child to go to her for everything and then have ill feelings towards you later. That woman is extremely demanding and manipulating. If you don’t change things now, it’s going to be much harder moving forward. I will never understand these MIL who think the world revolves around them when people have their own families. Best of luck.
I had a mother in law like this with my ex except my ex would call his mother evwry time we had an argument and they would both gang up on me I delt with this for 13 years and had enough and ended in divorce and 50/50 custody until we go to court
Gonzalez Cris lett the same:woozy_face:
Your partner needs to have a conversation with he’s mum and he needs to let her know that you are both good parents and know what you are doing. He needs to talk to her about boundaries.
Everyone has said it. Tell your husband to talk to her or you will. I wrote mine a long text on why we couldn’t see her anymore bc she would cry and manipulate my husband. His whole life she manipulated him to get what she wanted. She was a drunk and a bitch. We let her back into our lives a few years later and she def got the message.
Been there done that! You have to put her in her place. I hope your husband has your back. My ex didn’t.
We’re no contact with my psycho in-laws… our lives and marriage have never been better!
I’m soo blessed and thankful I don’t have this problem with my in-laws. If they don’t hear from us for a few days they call and ask if we’re still alive, but, they realize we are married and we have our own lives.
Yeah you need to cut that shit off. She either backs off or gets zero contact. That’s what I’d do
If it was your Mum would you be upset
You need JUSTNOMIL on Reddit
I’m grateful to have a good and sweet mother in law, but the solution here is simple.
Your husband needs to put his foot down and set those boundaries with his mom. If he can’t, you have to.
You are not crazy ! You seriously need to sit down with her day thank for your concerns , but you already raised your children you are welcomed to be a grandma but we need to set boundaries
I calmly put up with my MIL for 8yrs. She is a horrible person that constantly causes problems for her sons wives. Less than 1yr ago I finally had enough. I refuse to speak with her. I do let my husband take our daughter to visit her whenever she wants but my rule is she is no longer allowed in my house. This was not easy for me. As I just lost my mother around the time I cut ties with my MIL. I always wanted a MIL I could have a great relationship with. I tried for so long clinging to hope that we could make it work and wanted so badly to marry into a loving and kind family. I’m so disappointed and sad about this. BUT I decided to put MY happiness before my MIL and husband. My husband couldn’t or wouldn’t get her to be respectful so I’m done. When someone causes you so much stress and unhappiness that it’s affecting you and your relationship I feel it’s time to take a stand. My MIL will never change but I can change my situation. I’m no longer willing to put up with people treating me like shit. Now it’s been awkward and a bit difficult but I am less stressed. I frankly was tired of taking her shit and saying yum this is great let’s continue this dysfunctional relationship forever and I don’t want my daughter thinking it’s ok for someone to treat others this way. I guess if your husband can’t reign her in and you have tried talking to her that you will have to reach your breaking point to make change
Hey you need to stand up me our her pack your bags leave me our her done
If she does the plate thing, take it and throw the mashed food away and firmly say, I will make my child’s plate because we do not mash her food. Say things firm yet calm. Also let you husband know that you will be setting boundaries. Maybe he needs to define his priorities to his mother. Something like, I love you but mom, she is my #1.
I used to say to my mother in law (when she tried to parent over me) If you want to do it that way, then have another child. My child my way. And let me say, she snuck behind my back to get her way and always lied to my face. I just learned to call her out on all her shit
I get along fine with my husband’s crazy ass family. But the woman that raised him (his grandmother). She sometimes babies him a little too much. She definitely favors my son in a way that is contradictory to what I’m trying to teach him. But she is trying to befriend me lately and I am tired of arguing with my husband about it. I step in when she favors him. I let her help us now, as we need help. So I’m trying to get over it. My ex’s mother was crazy. I can handle an overprotective grandma.
It sounds like you are letting her have too much control. Separation is definitely needed before this becomes too toxic
Some mothers have a hard time letting go of their sons and believe they always need to parent them.
I had a mother in law like that. Bless her soul, she passed from cancer. She would make me so mad but I would sell my soul for my kids to have her back. You should roll with the punches because you dont know what tomorrow will bring. She was also my ex mother in law and I’m re married now.
Your child? Your rules/boundaries…
End of story!!!
Sounds like your husband needs to step up and tell his mom if she wants to be in her grandkids life then she needs to follow by your rules and if she doesn’t then you guys will not have anything to do with her. Also that she needs to respect your privacy as a married couple and respect your way of doing things.
Just let it be!! Every single mil/grandmother does this. We will too! Appreciate the help, she won’t hurt your baby. If she wants to mash the food who cares. Let her love your child, one day she will be gone. Some people have shit families and no help. You are blessed that she wants to be a part of you all.
I am sorry to say but this is your husbands mother and it is up to him to tell her to back off and if she doesn’t you can limit her time with him.simple as that.
Tell her in no uncertain terms that what she is doing is NOT OK!! Life is too short to have yto deakl with toxic people in your life. If she gets mad, so what!! Since you husband won’t tell her you should. And, I would only allow supervised visits until she gets the message that you mean business in matters about YOUR child. Good luck.
Tell her off and keep her away from the whole family
Lots of prayers lol. And some liquor.
You need to set boundaries and stick to them. Every grandparent is going to push them to a certain extent. I mean cupcakes for breakfast… it’s a grandma thing, lol.
Don’t fight the little battles but win the wars.
Easy…Ignore her. It’s your child and your family. I would never let that happen and wouldn’t feel bad one bit. No one will tell me how to raise my child plain and simple.
Haha. I would cut her out of my life and my kids life. If someone can’t respect me as a parent, fuck them
I’d write a list and tell her if she can’t stick to them then she can be out of your life! No way would I put up with that!
Have your husband tell her to start respecting your wishes as it is your child or she won’t be seeing the child for awhile. Thankfully my MIL is 1000 miles away.
I’m sorry you have to deal with that. I have 2 great mother in laws. Me and my husband is not together anymore but they will always be my in laws. You have to put your foot down and if your husband wont then you have to. I hope as your kid get older it stops and yall can have a relationship
God i feel like i could have written this. Now she is my EX MIL thank God.
Stand up for yourself but also let her know you’re grateful to have her in your life but you need boundaries
She is a control freak. Have you and or your husband talked to her about any of these issues? You need to.
Tell her she had her chance to raise her child/ren, and she could have done better. With that said, these are the rules, and you will follow them or not be welcome in my home any more.
First set boundaries on your home and child. If she makes a plate before you do and mashes the food, make a plate and just switch and move on . As for baptism, that’s way over the line. Stand your ground, firmly. Otherwise, small things, let slide, that’s the grandma thing.
Your husband needs a backbone and stand up against his manipulating and controlling mom. If he cannot, then he will be the only one visiting her at HER house.
Your mental peace is definitely worth fighting for.
Hey hey hey not all MIL’s are like that. If you don’t like her then don’t let her babysit, pure and simple.
Speak with your husband/wife to put the mother in her place. You only married him/her not the mother too
PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN! Stop letting her push you and your husband around. You are mom, you decide what goes and what doesnt!!! Shes not gonna stop if you and hubby dont speak up and put her in her place!
Okay have her make he appointment to eat baptized and let her tell alllll her friends and then don’t o watch her be embarrassed and learn a lesson that’s what I’d do!
Wow similar to mine, but thank God mine lives interstate and is only am intermittent problem. You’re not being crazy, you need to both stand up to her and lay down the rules.
Im so glad my mil isn’t like this…
We cut my MIL for some of the same crazy shit. And she called dcfs on us for it while i was in the hospital giving birth and had my son in NICU. I am so gladnwe did it. Shes batshit crazy
Block her on everything. Change your numbers. Change your locks. If she comes banging open the door and tell her if she doesn’t leave you’ll call the cops. What a bat shit women.
Well as long as she doesn’t have to help with everything and you don’t need her make your husband stop her.
I feel for you. I slapped mil because of it. We are doing better now
Tell her to back tf off! It’s your family! She raised her; now it’s your turn! If she can’t respect your wishes and boundaries, then it’s time to tell her that you think it’s best if she goes away for awhile…not to call or swing by…no contact for awhile until she’s ready to listen! You’re the mother, how would she have felt if someone stuck their nose in her parenting back in the day!?
At least yours acknowledges you. Mine is a total bitch that only recognized one group of grandkids! Acts like mine don’t exist!
How about being an adult & having an adult conversation with her.
These replies are insane!
That is some next level crazy MIL shit!! Why most of them are crazy?! Always wondering about that:sweat_smile:
I don’t have a crazy MIL I have a crazy Grandmother in law lol
She tried to plan your wedding but you never saw this coming? Really?
Put a stop to it NOW. My exs mother set up a whole nursery in her house and would als hold my son close when we were ready to leave and say that me and my ex could go and kept holding my son and when i left her abusive son she entered my house when i wasn’t home staged pictures and i am now fighting for custody of my son when I didn’t do a damn thing but leave her abusive son.
Put her in her f-ing place ! If not it will get 10 times worse and make it harder on your marriage!
A husband with a backbone. Mine told his mother she needed to be positive in our kids lives, not medal in our business, try to be in control, make decisions, he explained that our family we created is his first priority now. If she can be a healthy influence in our kids lives and ours, the door is always open and she’s welcome but if she can’t she needs to put her focus outside of our lives…it’s been 7 years since we’ve heard from her or have seen her my husband set boundaries, she wasn’t happy…she didn’t respect them. We have 4 kids…2 she doesn’t even know, she knows of them but doesn’t make an effort. You and your husband need to decide what’s best, but I feel like unless it comes from him your MIL won’t take it serious
Set clear boundaries. Put the ball her court to decide if she will respect them or if you should go no contact.
You tell her you’ve witnessed her raising first hand and the last thing you need from her is advice 🤷
Hubby needs to stand up to her. I had to have mine do this or I was going to do it and it would have been cutting her out completely.
YOUR NOT THE ONLY ONE BOO! Been there, done that, we hate each other now👍
Hubby needs to back you up. Mine told his mother to knock it off and stop trying to run everything and telling us how to run our lives or else she wouldn’t be able to see her grandkids anymore. Not that we would have done it, but it worked!
Grow up and talk to her!! Not that hard to figure it out.
Oh wow I would be kicking of big time. It’s like she doesn’t want to let go of her son about time she realised he’s grown man now and your the no1 woman in his life. Maybe she’s jelious. But don’t let her tell you what to do. Stand up to her and tell her no!
You dont. If she crazy make her duck off
Sounds like my long loss MIL.
I would start by telling her you love her and why you value having her in life. Then I would set some boundaries for all involved. Relationships take work. Change is hard. Let her know that her love and support is important but she also needs to respect your wishes for your family. You and your husband both need to be present but your husband need to be the one who talks the most. Be loving and optimistic. Things can be worked out so that you can all enjoy each other. God bless and best wishes.
Your husband needs to be the one to confront his mommy dearest! The family you and your husband have created is the most important! Sounds awfully familiar to me!
Your husband needs to tell his mother that her narcissistic controlling behavior will stop or she will not be apart of your family any longer. Period.
I wouldn’t procrastinate this issue as it will only continue to get worse. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
I got in a fist fight with mine
Honestly this is the EXACT same way my mil was, it eventually made it very hard for my marriage to work with the father of our 1st and only daughter. He’s the only male in his family so I understood the obsessiveness to an extent. I kept a lot to myself solemnly bc I have respect towards her. I talked to my husband after she wanted to plan a WHOLE SEPERATE 1st bday party for my daughter while she was over here struggling with money. He understood how I felt and let his mom know that she needs to tone down and let us live our lives and raise our own child. She did her job for raising hers and her daughters kids, but I was always brought up as you tale care of your kids even if you had them at a young age, you decided to make an adult decision well now be the adult and take care of your responsibilities. My family is very old school Mexican so that can tell you a lot hahaa but anywho back to my point talk to him and if he can’t let his mom know then you talk to her and let her know how you feel about her overstepping.
Hope this helps! Good luck!
Way overstepping. Husband needs to step up to her.
Dont call her crazy until she is actually diagnosed
My mil has delusional disorder
Set your boundaries and ask your husband to help enforce them
Be straight up with her or the one that should is your partner he needs to tell her to back off or else she won’t be part of the baby because that’s just to much ans can put strain on the relationship because of how she is controlling
tell her to back off. remind her that you’re grown and so is your husband. remind her that your child is YOUR child and that’s that. you make the rules not her. as for the getting mad about phone calls and letting her know your day to day routine. just don’t bother. let her get pissed, if she says anything tell her that you guys are busy with your own lives and you are obligated to call every second or tell her what you’re doing. my mil wanted me and my boyfriend and our son to come over for christmas, as well as every other one of her kids. they’re all grown, ones in college, one just turned 18 and is busy with his life, and my boyfriend (her son) is with me and our baby, as well as working near everyday 12 hour shifts. i told my boyfriend that we were to spend christmas as a family. OUR family, me him and our son together. and then head over to his moms for a couple hours after all was done at our house. yeah your mil seems pretty weird. maybe talk to your husband about it?
Just start swinging… she’ll keep her mouth shut. People tend to be more quiet around crazy people (which she’ll definitely think you are) … I’d rather someone think I’m nuts vs a doormat.
You’re not the only one! Im sorry
She can’t baptize him without your permission. She would have to tell some very large lies to the church in order to do that so how crazy is she?