How do I do this?

My husband just told me tonight that after 2 kids and 10 years together he wants a divorce.
We just moved across country and I have no one. No family, friends. He doesn’t want to try to work it out. He’s done. Sooo I’m sitting here wondering how on earth I will be able to live with only having the kids half the time. Until a month ago I’ve been a stay at home mom. My son is 6 and my daughter is 2.5. I’m so lost. What do I do? How do I cope with this?

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I do this? - Mamas Uncut

recently just went through a divorce after 10 years & two kids - it’s hard. like real hard. i still have my bad days where i’m lost but it does get easier with time. you’re not alone dear.

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I’m sorry :sob: I feel like he purposely did the move before springing this on you.

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I’m in a very similar situation would like some advice also I simply cannot get out of this deep depression

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Can you go back home?

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Get a job, first and more importantly get a job.
This is why is so important that women don’t become dependent on man.
After you get a job make a budget. He will need to pay child support and in some cases spousal support.
Everything happens for a reason.
Something better awaits for you!!

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I would go back home where you have a support system.

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He can pay you alimony and child support. You can do it, I believe in you

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Oh I’m sorry he is putting you through this. But ya know what, a divorce is better than a husband who doesn’t want to be around! Can you move back home? If you guys have a home, maybe in the divorce you want half so you can get an apartment with it or something if you can’t move home due to custody or what not. But as long as no paperwork has been filed yet, you can move home (if its across state lines even).
I wish I had more advice. I would just focus on the kids until your able to start taking care of yourself. Sometimes it’s easier to focus on others for a bit.

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First of all, get yourself a good attorney and make sure that you are protected financially.
Good luck to you, he dealt you a dirty hand.

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Take your kids and go back home. It’s cruel that he waited till you moved to ask for a divorce😡

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I would try and move back to we’re family is

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Take him for alimony and child support and move back to family.

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Feel like he wanted this and by moving you may wish to go back home and in that case to see your children it’s you needing to do all the travelling and pay for that
No effort on his side involved

I would move back home. Since the kids were born there that will be their “home state” and you’ll most likely get full custody and he’ll get summer breaks, spring breaks, ect.

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Start taking care of yourself and the kids. Get as much money together as you can and get an attorney. You will have to become a fighter for yourself and your kids. You should be entitled to child support and alimony, but that doesn’t kick in till the divorce is final. Get legal help ASAP.

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Move back to your family and you will have the kids year round except when he wants to get them for a couple weeks during the year

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Love it will be very hard. But women are amazing human beings and we always doubt our strengths. You just wanted that man you never needed him. Move back home. Get a job as soon as you get back. Or if you want to stay there get a job there. Start from the bottom because there is only one way to go now. I haven’t be through this personally but my sister is going through this right now . I can give motivation and supporting advise if you would love to message me. You got this momma you don’t have a choice. Them babies need their momma to keep pushing.

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Pack a bag and go home and file for custody

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Ik sorry you had to move and then he tells you. Distract yourself Is the only advise go get a part time job, make some friends do everything you can to not dwell on the situation

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Go back home you need your family

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What a —— he moved you across country so he can get custody much easier…. I’d say I want to move near family so they can help you with kids otherwise he pays wife alimony, don’t start working now cuz then you are not entitled to it. Work when it’s all over…
Big hugs!!!

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All the advice and support above is great.

Have you ever listened to the Dixie Chicks song Goodbye Earle?

Get them black eyed peas ready girl, waiting until y’all moved was a shithead move.

I’d move back. The divorce and the move may be stressful, but being back home where family can help you with your kids would be worth it in the end

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Damn that would be hard. I would look for a job for one, and just talk to him. Tell him you need to save up some money to get your own place. One step at a time. One day at a time. Figure out a custody arrangement ( file it with the courts, don’t just do a verbal one)

Take the babies and move back home!! That husband did terrible and he ought to be ashamed of himself…

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Can u not move back to where u were? Do u have family there who could help u or u could move in with them temporarily then with the maintenance he will have to pay u, u can rent a property for the 3 of u, get a divorce . Ask the children do they want to see their daddy then sort it out amongst urselfs if that doesn’t work tell him to go to court for rights to see them. U have to think of ur children first then urself!! Sounds like ur well rid, u can do it don’t ever think that u can’t. :heart:

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Take the kids back home, file for custody and divorce. Find a lawyer that will take payments if needed

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Get a good lawyer. Full custody, child support, alimony , it’s hard but you can do it. If he wants visitation make him do it through a lawyer. If you want to move back across the country do it , through a lawyer.

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Honestly, let him divorce you. It’ll be hard but it’s better than living unhappily. However, after 10 years and children together I would demand alimony and child support until you can rebuild your life. I would even move back home and push for primary custody but most definitely do not prevent him from being a father because the marriage didn’t work out. He’ll most likely have to pay spousal support. You need an attorney and can get legal aid to help. You can do it on your own and you may actually be happier that way. You’ll be able to receive assistance as a newly single mother. You’ll get help with childcare even and will be able to find employment and a stable place to live. Just remember when searching for employment to find something that fits your children’s needs and schedule. You will be fine. You can go find what makes you happy and achieve it. It’s a sad situation but try looking positively about it and don’t let it reflect on your children.

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I’d say move back home and do it asap before he goes to the courts to try and stop you. Sounds like he waited till after he got you out to where he wanted to be to end things.

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Go home. Hire the best divorce lawyer you can find. Make sure he pays alimony & child support. He did this to you on purpose, he moved you away from your support system, how disgusting.

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Take the kids now and run.

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Go back home but he will probably try and stop you.

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Time for the arms of family!

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Then u need to return home!!!

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Cue the woman who think children are walking talking paychecks.

I understand this is hard on you… Imagine how it will be for your kids, especially if you take the advice of bitter Betties on this page.

Do what’s best for your kids, not you. You said nothing about him as a parent. 50/50 physical and legal custody of the children is best, most of the time. Chances are, you’ll still get child support anyway.

It’s tempting to be bitter and do whatever you can to destroy your ex. Think about what kind of example that is setting for your children. Think of the emotional toll that will take on your children and you.

Don’t use your children as pawns against their father. I’m sure you’re much better than that. They will grow to hate you because kids always figure out which parent was the problem.

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Pity he couldn’t tell you that before he uprooted his family from everything they know :face_with_symbols_over_mouth:
First step…get yourself a lawyer .
Look into moving back near family for support till you get on your feet
Fight for full custody of your children .
What kind of man moves his family to a strange place away from family then does this ? Not the kind id want being responsible for my children

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Move home before anything is file. Immediately.

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File emergency custody a.s.a.p he moved you out there for a reason before saying he wanted a divorce. Wouldn’t be surprised if there’s someone he moved for🤷🏻‍♀️. Get home to your family take time to grieve but don’t linger in it. Start with a routine. He shouldn’t have done that to you.

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Go home. And leave while he’s at work

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Go home. Before he can file papers. Hire the best lawyer you can afford. He definitely planned this so that you would have nothing and no one.

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I’m so so sorry. Try to move back.

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That’s Awful,reach out to any and all resources available to you for starters , just take it day by day, you got this, millions of people have been in your shoes or are in your shoes as we speak so you’re not alone :pray:

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Do whatever you need to do to secure safety for your children.

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I don’t have any advice I just want to say I’m so sorry this is happening to you!! It may be hard to see now, but it will be ok❤️sending love and light from afar

I would move back home for starters. You’re going to need family and friends around for support. Good luck.

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I am so so sorry. Take your kids an go back home before it is court ordered you can’t take them.

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Go home. Pack all the important documents and your kids things and go back where family is. File for divorce, in the state you were from. He purposely uprooted you from a support system to make the divorce go ‘his way’.

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Seek legal advice. Do not just take the kids away. Depending on where you are, you may not be able to do that without permission from the court. Most lawyers will give you a free consultation.

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What a D! He’s been feeling like this for awhile and to let you move across the country and pull this is disgusting! Clean out the bank account and leave :woman_shrugging:t4: when you and your children get back home get a lawyer and file for everything! Full custody, alimony and child support! What a :pig:

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Contact your inner circle, back home. Tell them everything has fallen apart and you need their help, right away. :heart::heart:

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What state are you in now?

Prayers to you both…talk to him yall have have communication…see what you both need work on…don’t sign divorce papers unless you want to…don’t rush give it go…prayers for u both and the kids…was married 35 years lost him to cancer…maybe yall need time apart to think to work on it…God is good talk to him…

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Contact an attorney where you are and one back home as well. How far is the move?

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Get lawyer and Alimony

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One step at a time. Does he have a girlfriend. If need to go back where u have some support

Put your big girl panties on and move forward you are not the first move back to where you have support get a job and Gog bless you

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I know it’s easy to say take the kids and go but I think that will bite u in the bum.
For the kids sake you both need to sit down and work something out. I was in the same
Sort of position 2 years ago… my children’s dad has the kids while I work 3 nights a week and we work around each other for what’s best for the kids. I hope things work out for u hun :two_hearts:

Get a lawyer. Most times there is financial assistance for stay at home moms. Move back home.family and friends are a great support. Good luck. One day at a time. You can do this. I did and it worked out. Xo

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This sounded planned. Like he may had already have plans with someone else. This move seemed calculated by him. Id hire a pi in the area, and move back to your state. If he won’t give you the money start selling house hold items. I know that’s not what you wanna do but it’ll help you get home, and get a pi. People don’t randomly say their done after moving across country.

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You can argue in court that you’d like to take the kids back to where you are from and he can have them 6 weeks out of the summer and every other Christmas vacation. Just a thought.

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Do NOT take the kids and leave. That will not look good for you with future custody arrangements. You need to seek an attorney asap. I’m sorry you are dealing with this.

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Take him to court… Stay strong

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Move back home and file divorce there take kids he would have to travel and theta ding ground is your family back home to help where as no one’s is near your ex new location

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You will be stuck in the state you are in current, contact legal counsel and see if you can still move back home. If that’s something you are debating. Then file. It sounds awful but you will be stuck where you are until your kids are 18 if you stay. When going through the hard times of the divorce and raising kids with no support, you need to make sure you are setting yourself up to be the best mom you can be. Also this will be a huge change for the children, in a new place and no family support like back home on top of a change in family dynamics.

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Go get a consultation with a lawyer ASAP you need to know if you can legally take the kids back where your family is . How long have you been living in your current state ?

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Take your kids and move back with your family

Get a job make friends. It gets easier to accept and deal with if you keep busy and don’t isolate yourself.

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LAWYER first, ask questions later! Do not under any circumstances use his lawyer. Do your homework and find one that will represent you best!
Is he cheating? If so, get proof! Print phone records, bank statements, etc. He is probably counting on you not being prepared. Fight your heart out for your lifestyle and your kids.

First off do not let him know anything that you are thinking of doing. Secondly get ALL important papers that you may need in the future like his paystubs copies of your taxes for previous years and make copies of everything to take with you and then consult a good divorce lawyer. Then decide what you need to do.

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Take them and move to where it is you have support and then get a lawyer.

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Go home. Try to prove that he deliberately moved you away so you would be isolated and easier to manipulate. That mental abuse. Just as bad as physical in my book and in a lawyers. Get one quick and use that to get full custody. He will be mentally abusive to those babies as well. Go home and get the support you need. God bless you and your babies. :pray::pray:

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You are better off without him

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It’s called child support/alimony… don’t worry about it, go get a lawyer ASAP

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Get a job and move out, or take the kids back to where you came from. He moved you there to isolate you

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I am going to second, third, fourth and fifth the “Lawyer Up”
It’s hard to give you better advice than a lawyer will. We don’t know what state you’re in, why you moved, if you are bound to those state laws etc. You might be able to get the house, child support, spousal support OR he might’ve moved y’all out there cause he was already talking to a female out there, he might’ve already made sure that you’re entitled to NOTHING and he might already have plans underway!! So… tell him nothing, DO NOT LEAVE THAT HOUSE. In fact, after you Lawyer up., next great piece of advice might be to change the locks on the house while he’s gone so he can’t do it to you.

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Court! And depending upon which state you live in there is a thing called separate maintenance you can get while in process of leaving.

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You’ve been a stay at home Mom which means you are strong as hell!! If you can manage taking care of a house and family you will be just fine! Talk to a lawyer if you can and see the best route for you to take. I wish you and your kids all the best!!

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You’re stronger than you think you are. Move back home and take him for child support and anything else you can. He is well aware you are not with your family. He should at least help get you back home.

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No one said divorce is easy, and also no one said this lady has a shitty husband. Sometimes people want different things, if your not happy than getting out of it. You’ll be fine. If your able to co parent and respect each other still than do what the fuck makes you happy. Best of luck.

You’re wasting time on the internet, do some research on a good divorce lawyer in your home state and pack up a moving truck ASAP!!!

That is so not right to do after moving u across the country without family and knowing u don’t work I would move back to where I was from to be honest

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Don’t leave the home you in, lawyer up first, don’t tell him your next moves. He will try to counter them.

You got this!

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Pack your bags and move back home with your support system immediately

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Also people need to take in account she put “WE” if you are all forgetting marriage is a partnership. She DID NOT say he moved her, Jesus. :rofl::woman_facepalming:t3:

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Move back to where you came xx

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Pack wot u need and go home with ur kids

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Lawyer up. You have rights

This happened to me. Thank goodness my ex is a good man. I’m still here in a different province away from my family but you will get through this.

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You need a lawyer. Don’t move without consulting lawyer, as you could get yourself in trouble moving.

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I would pack my kids and my stuff and move back

Be strong for your babies. You’ll be amazed how they will be your rock through this season of hardship. I’m so sorry. Take a deep breath mama… you will get through this :heart::pray:

Don’t do anything without speaking to a lawyer. Most offer a free consultation. Every state has different rules.

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Move back home to your support system. Praying for your situation. I’d get a good lawyer

Talk to a lawyer not FB especially BEFORE you leave the state with your kids. He could file kidnapping.

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Keep busy. The weeks you don’t have the kids you fill up Doing things you love. Working on finding out what those things are. Sending you love and strength.

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Pack up and move back to where you have that support system. You and the kids.

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Better go home to your moms house and ask for her help till you can get steady