How do I explain to my kids that their dad and I are getting a divorce?

To the mommas that have gone through a divorce, how did you get through it? My husband and I are going to be getting a divorce (mutual wanting of the divorce, just aren’t working). I just need advice on how to get through it and how to explain to the little ones what’s going on. We have a five-year-old, 2year old, and six-month-old…I’m just really lost and could really use some guidance. Thanks!

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Oh mama I feel for you. I have been there. Our son was almost 2 when my ex husband and I separated and 3 when we officially divorced. He didn’t understand what was happening when it was happening and he’s processing now that his parents don’t live together and his family looks a little bit differently. We were both counseled during our divorce proceedings to have lots of open conversations about what he might be feeling about it and to make sure to reiterate as much as possible that we love him and none of this was his fault. He asks now why we aren’t living together and I try to explain to him that sometimes mommies and daddies don’t want to live together anymore but we are still a family. Your older kiddo might ask more questions than your little ones will. Just lead with love and be as reassuring as you can. Divorce is not easy. Nobody gets married to get divorced. But sometimes it’s the option that feels the best to us. It’ll be okay!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I explain to my kids that their dad and I are getting a divorce? - Mamas Uncut

No advice . Prayers for healing.

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I had a four year old and a two year old wheny husband left. They take it better then expected. Every once in awhile they will say they miss is being together but they they get excited to have a different additional mommmy and daddy one day. Just stay positive around them and they will stay positive. And when they cry comfort and tell them the love the parents have for them hasn’t changed just the love the parents had for each other changed

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When my kids were small I basically kept it simple… Mommy & Daddy both love you very very much. But right now we don’t love each other the same way & want to live in different houses & you can visit both & bring/pick out what ever you want when you visit. It was honestly harder on me, than them. Kids are pretty resilient at that age.

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My parents got divorced when I was 11 and I remember being super excited because they fought all the time in front of me and my siblings and I wanted it to end. I wish you luck I’m so sorry your going through that

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I’d just explain to the kids that sometimes moms and dads are better as just friends. Make sure they know it’s not their fault and that they’re loved very much. Most importantly you and their dad need to make sure no matter your feelings towards each other you do what’s best for the kids - make things as normal for the kids as possible. Joint birthday parties, don’t withhold visits when the kids ask to see the other even if it’s “not their time”. It’s very important to make sure you never bad mouth each other or anything of that nature in front of the kids.

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is there a way the both of u can do this together

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Just be honest. Sometimes people are better friends than being together. It doesn’t mean that you still don’t love them. We also got along really well, didn’t go after each other for child support, still did things together as a family with our child, still talked daily with our child, basically we still respected the fact that we are our child’s mother and father and our child deserves both of us in their lives. No matter what happens between you and him, don’t ever bad mouth the other in front of your children. I’m not sure what your circumstances are, but I’m praying for you and I hope it all works out. Just choose being honest with your child. Parenting my daughter like that has been the best thing for both of us, we have an incredible bond.

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Depends on ages My Rx & I did it together explaining we would still be a family but not living together my 4 kids were 11–to 4 The two older ones understand the younger two not so much Prayers for a healthy relationship for the kids sake

The only advice I have is to remember that your children are better off in a co-parenting situation with happy parents than they are in a home where the parents are just staying together for the kids and are unhappy.

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Be honest and tell them the truth.

Ide sit down with them and say, daddy and I are going to be living in different houses, you’ll still see him and can talk to him on the phone " im assuming staying with mom?" Explain in a way they can understand that everyone will be much happier now and daddy and I will still be friends " hopefully" much easier to co parent, it’s never an easy thing to explain to them, keep in mind the ages of the children, there are lots of books on divorce you can look up that may help, best of luck to you😊

For the first while if your oldest misses dad while its moms time call dad and let dad pick them up for a couple hours. If its dads time and kids miss mom let mom take them for couple hours. Get along for the kids and stay positive!! Always choose the kids feelings first before your own!

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Make sure you have a good coparnet plan work as a team make sure kids are first in both side and show them you all can still be friends! We divorced when ours where young but we work as a team for them and they are all happy well rounded kids!

They are too little to understand. You both need to work together to lessen the impact of a permanent separation.

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Keep it simple, explain that Mom & Dad love you, it’s not your fault, mom will
Live in one house and dad in another, they will spend time separately with both mom and dad. If you the parents can get along during pick up/ drop offs it will really help the kids and don’t ever bash their father in front of them. I’m a grandma but my parents divorced when I was young and I had to help my granddaughters understand when their parents went separate ways a few years ago.

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I just posted something similar to someone yesterday. I’ve gone through this as well and I know how hard it is. I’m sorry to hear you’re going to go through it too. A few recommendations:

  1. Keep it simple when they’re younger, but always answer their questions in an age-appropriate way so they know they can come to you whenever they have questions.
  2. Focus on how much you and their Dad love them, but you’re no longer going to live together.
  3. If you can get your husband to do it, I highly recommend you do something like Conscious Uncoupling. You are going to have to work together as co-parents the rest of your lives and the better that you can communicate and get along, the easier both of your futures will be.
  4. Develop a “divorce story” to both tell your kids. How did you meet, what brought you together to have your kids, and why did you get divorced. In a way that doesn’t blame one person and doesn’t poison the kids against one parent. I can speak from experience of having kids getting older and asking questions of both parents, that it helps to be on the same page now if possible. 5) Ask family for help if you can as you transition.
  5. Make a list of all of your current and expected expenses so you know how much you will need to live on.
  6. Focus on doing things you enjoy and spend time with friends when you don’t have your kids.
    Good luck on your transition and your next phase of life!
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My ex and I divorced when my girls were still babies, but when they got old enough to start asking questions, I answered as simply as possible. “Mommy and daddy can’t live together anymore. Daddy was mean to mommy. You know how the little boy next door is mean to you sometimes and I tell you to just walk away from him and not play with him anymore? It’s kinda like that.”

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Tell them the truth.Everything will come to pass and you will be happy again

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One of the things I did when I was preparing to leave their dad was to get a tattoo of all of them. I wanted to show them they were a permanent part of me even if he wasn’t.

You love each other, you’re still a family, but you’ve made the decision together that your family will work best if you and did live separately. Kids still see you both. Both parents will still love them always.

I’d wait until they start asking questions since they are so young. But I’d also remember why you & him got married and if there is any chance to work things out. Really try hard because marriage is supposed to be for a lifetime. But if it never works then don’t try to hurt each other using your children. They hate being quizzed about the other parent or their other parent that they also love being talked about in a bad way. It only hurts your children and makes them think less of you.

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Be as age appropriately honest as you can. I’m going through this now, we separated last November. I just explained to my daughter, she’s 3 and turns for in a couple weeks, that daddy and I fight alot which she already knew because he would constantly start fights in front of her, and that we weren’t going to live together anymore. I would do it together and just answer their questions if they have any and reassure them of how much you love them

Honesty is the best policy.

They are too young to understand

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This advice is for after the divorce. Stay a United team for your kids. Even when new relationships happen for you or your ex. Have birthday parties together, everyone goes to school plays etc. Most importantly, if either of you remarry, that step parent(s) are an active member of the co-parent team.

I’m not divorced yet, (currently going through it now) but have been separated from my soon to be ex husband for almost two years. Our son was going on 4 at the time we split and he did ask where daddy was after he left. I had to explain to him that daddy and I don’t live together anymore but daddy loves you and you will be able to go visit and see him all the time. Definitely try to agree on a good co-parenting system, especially since the divorce is mutually agreed on. My ex and I co-parent pretty well. We don’t do things together like birthdays or holidays, it just doesn’t work for us. On those special occasions I celebrate with him, my immediate family and boyfriend. Then he celebrates with his dad, his family, and girlfriend. Co-parenting will have it’s ups and downs, no matter what happens, just remember to keep things as civil as you can and positive for your kids.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I explain to my kids that their dad and I are getting a divorce? - Mamas Uncut

With them ages it’s gonna be hard for them to understand to much to be fair! I would just say mummy and daddy are going to have there own home now and that they will go to daddy’s to have fun times and sleep over etc and that’s about it just gotta keep it positive as they are clueless! No point in saying he won’t live here, you won’t see him everyday because they don’t get it! As they are older they will ask more questions but keep it basic and positive as you can x

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I explain to my kids that their dad and I are getting a divorce? - Mamas Uncut

I told mine that daddy and I decided we are better as friends and we are going to live in our own houses. Then remind them they are loved and you are still a family.

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I would say to the oldest : “Me and dad are best friends but will live in our own house now. We love you very much and you will have the best parents ever living separately. “The thing with kids is that they All wants their parents together. But when it can’t be like that co parenting in the most positive way so the kids will see and feel that their parents still have love for each other. It’s much better for kids that their parents live separately when they don’t get on.

Can ya’ll take a minute here and maybe try marriage counseling and remember what made yall fall in love with each other. Are y’all really ready to call it quits and it is team work. It can’t always be your way or his way. If yall are going to though just tell the kids yall love them very much and yall will always be there for them and co parent and maybe counseling for co parenting. And do let them know it is not there fault.

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Marriage is for forever, not for a short time. Make it work. It wasn’t that long ago yall we’re in love so remember what made yall fall in love and be in love and work at love. Love isn’t easy, it’s something that requires effort and work every day with any body you’re with. Maybe try counseling or communication therapy. Try something, don’t just give up on each other, yourself, and your marriage.

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I separated from my ex husband last year with a 13 year old and 5 year old. It was definitely a hard decision to make after 18 years of life together but it had to be done. I was no longer happy. We all deserve to be happy. With my kids I just simply told my 5 year old that mommy and daddy were no longer gonna be together and my 13 year old I explained the situation a little better. They were both not very happy but it definitely jolted my teen. I hated doing that to my family. But I lived unhappily for a few years now and was ready to find myself and be happy again. Him and I in my honest opinion get along better now as coparents than we did the last few years of our marriage.

They probably have an idea that something is wrong, most children feel emotional distress. Explain that mom and dad will still love them but need to live in separate houses.Reassure the children you will both still love and care for them

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I’m getting divorced my kids like us better apart they are three and five . They don’t need to know everything . Just tell them mommy and daddy are better apart

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My Dad told me that him and my mother aren’t going to be together anymore and that it is Not my fault. It helped since I was only 5.

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I would do it together, maybe with a pastor, or guidance counselor? That way we can make sure you are completely covered. I would also probably plan for their friends to be on hand just incase they want to talk to them.
But I would make it short and sweet, don’t get into too many details until they are older. They just need to know they are loved, its not their fault, and you both will still be their biggest fans/support in this world!

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Most importantly dont beat yourself up about . They’re young and will adjust as long as they feel loved xxxx

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Hey love! I haven’t been through a divorce but I watched the trouble of my parents. I felt like it was my fault because they divorced shortly after my birth. My sister also made me believe that. The tention between the two was not great they wanted to take each other for every inch they had. So my suggestion is to 1) make it clear that it’s not their faults and also stop anything that will make them believe that it’s their fault. 2) don’t jab at each other every chance you get. Kids hear and repeat everything that either of you say. And things will get taken the wrong way and out of context. 3) explain that you guys really love each other but work better as friends. Since they are young you can explain it as the colors of the rainbow. Make something up saying how red and orange are super close and love each other. But now its not what we thought and it’s more like red and yellow. They’re still friends and love each other but they need space (orange) from each other. Kind of like how you love mommy in a different way than you would love (Insert friends name). And explain further if needed that her friend has her own house and meet up and play with each other every so often.

This is a tough chapter in your life and I do hope it gets easier for you and your beautiful family

I’ve never gone through a divorce myself, but my parents did when I was 5… consider being honest. Saying that dad will be moving out because mom and dad are happier people apart. Tell that sweet baby that you still love him/her, but everything will be ok.

Consider getting a kids book where the character’s parents gets divorced- they have to have one… or watch a show, maybe on YouTube?

I hope this helps and I wish u peace through the process :sunflower:

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I’m always an advocate for counseling and working on your marriage before divorcing. However you still have to do what is best for you to give your children the best life possible. Divorce is hard and it can be very messy, even with good intentions. Above all if this is the path you guys choose, love those babies! As long as they feel loved, wanted, and they have a good childhood, they will be ok. Don’t use them as a pawn to get back at the other person. Prayers for you and your family! I am currently going through the same thing and it sucks.

James TW
“When You Love Someone”
Listen to the song

It will be hard just promise never to talk terrible about each other to your children please :pray:t3:

First off I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. It’s not easy. I really don’t have any good advice to give. My kids were young when I was divorced. So there was nothing much to explain. But I can tell you that if you and your ex can manage to get along and co-parent well that’s the best thing for your kids. Always do what’s best for them! Staying together is not always the best. But there’s no reason why you can co-parent and make that work. Always make them feel loved, and make sure they know it’s not their fault, and never use them against the other parent. Good luck to you! :heart:

Whatever you do, make it clear that 1)it’s NOT THEIR FAULT; 2) you are all still family, just a different type of family 3) you are not divorcing THEM just each other and finally 4) you could never stop loving them because that’s a different type of love and because of that, no matter what, you will never ever ever leave them, no matter what they do!

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You have a 6 month old, therefore it wasn’t that long ago that you loved each other enough to make that baby, maybe just take some time apart or away from each other and see how you both feel then before making this decision. Wishing you all the best x

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the amount of people who are telling her to “make it work” is gross…they made the decision together so obviously they both feel the same and staying just because they have children is ridiculous

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Have y’all tried counseling? Make sure you do everything possible before involving the children. Just having 3 children under 5 years of age is stressful. Don’t give up without trying everything.

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Whew some of y’all advice isn’t all that great. To tell somebody to go to counseling to try and make it work for the kids is terrible advice. If they’re thinking of divorce maybe they have given it all there is to give for them. To say he shouldn’t back out now bc he proposed is idiotic, she already stated it’s a mutual decision. You can love somebody and know you shouldn’t be with them, and just bc they have very young children doesn’t mean they love each other any less. Some people just know when it’s time to let go.

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Make it civil. The very first thing in life that I remember was my parents divorce. We were outside our house, I was in my moms arms screaming for my dad, cops were there. I was 5 maybe 6. Don’t do that to your kids. They will adjust. The 2 smaller won’t even remember you guys being togther. And tell the 5 year old in a simple loving way they will understand. Please don’t traumatize them! Good luck❤

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I don’t remember how mine were told but what I do know is I had no idea how hard, sad and lonesome life was going to be. Doesn’t matter if you remarry, there is no one who can take the place of the two of you. During holidays, it’s at least 4 sets of grandparents and extended family, depending on how many divorces and remarriages have occurred. Christmas will never be the same again. Love isn’t about feelings. It’s an action word. I learned divorce is a very selfish action to take and as much as we think our children understand, there will be scars. I learned it’s not all about me, him and the children. It affects everyone in your circle. I now have a 10 year old granddaughter asking me why.
Good luck in the years ahead and I pray you find happiness.

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The kids will adjust they are young enough. They’ll look to you and feel what you’re expressing.
My best advice is to be the absolute best co-parent you can. Even when you disagree, even when it’s not convenient. Put your emotions out of decisions that will come and think what’s best for “our kids” not how does this affect me

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That age is easy you let them know that daddy and you love them but that y’all will be living in separate houses. Honestly the 5 yr old will probably be the only know who will need more of an explanation. It is how the next couple of years go that will be important for all of them and that’s how to co-parent with your ex to make sure all their emotional needs are being met. Good luck! It’s not easy but with a good support system you got this!

They are pretty young so I think they will just adjust easily, but I would sit them them down in a happy mood with you and the father and explain you guys are just going to be friends and won’t be living together anymore. Explain it’s not their fault and get them excited with perhaps saying they get a new room at daddies new house that they get to decorate. They both of you and the kids paint or whatever the kids want. Do it together with laughs and jokes.

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I went thru this about 45 years ago they will hold it against you both,think about it a Lil harder.and try to work it out for the kids sake ,unless there is abuse.

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The two year old will adjust easily enough. Just sit your 5 year old down together and explain that Mommy and Daddy still love each other but it’s as friends and your going to have seperate houses . Try to make it sound like a adventure might sound stupid I know but it’s easier and better than saying nothing

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Oh this is so hard. Mine (4, 6, and 8.) still ask questions three years later and cry sometimes when they have to leave one to see the other… they just want to be with both of us under one roof. It is so very lonely trying to do it all alone… parenting was meant to be a two person task. And finding someone just right to fill that role in your life that will love your kids is no easy task. It’s a hard road ahead of you, but if you’re set on it… just be there for them. I have always told mine that their daddy and I are getting along and sharing them, and that’s not a bad thing… and their response is “sharing is caring” :sweat_smile:

My daughters dad and i didnt divorce but we separated and we’re still a family but SHOWING her that is what’s important

Offer consoling to the 5 and 2 yo also make it very clear that just because mommy and daddy still love them the same only thing that’s going to change is you guys going to different homes

I told my daughter (at 2) that me and her daddy were better parents separate.

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where I’m from you automatically have to take them to counseling.

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Your kids are too young to understand all the ins and outs of adult problems especially divorce. Don’t bombard them with that stress. They’ll get used to the changes in time, if you do it right

The children will adjust…question is…will you? It’s rough on the babies if it is rough on you…they feel your hurt…

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I’m so sorry you are going through this. I been there. It’s rough. Mayne just say mommy and daddy are going to live in separate houses? But mommy and daddy love you all so much

I don’t have much advice really for those stages of life but I would just make sure you’re there for them through it and maybe don’t like drop them off somewhere during the move if you’re moving out etc, have them be apart of it or at least be aware what’s going on. My mom and step dad who was basically the only dad I ever knew divorced when I was 12 and we just never really talked about it. I slept out one weekend and moved into a new house the next it seemed and never got closure or any explanation really. I knew it was happening and knew they weren’t good for one another but I definitely think it should have been talked about more so I understood it and probably should have gone to therapy of some sort because it’s effected me a lot growing up. I guess what I’m saying is just make sure you pay attention to how they’re acting and keep it open to talk about. Don’t brush it off. Good luck mama! And by me saying all that I don’t think it’s a bad thing to have people split who don’t work out, I witnessed a broken house hold and family for awhile before they actually separated and I do think it was beneficial for them not to continue the relationship for everyone’s sake.

I told my then 2 year old that although mummy and daddy love you very much being together doesn’t make mummy or daddy happy any more and feel it’s best we live in separate houses. Daddy will still visit and you will have a bedroom at daddy’s house with toys and clothes same as mummy’s. She has asked over the years why and I say the same story mummy and daddy fell out of love and didn’t make each other happy. Now both mummy and daddy are very happy. She has no issue

Omg, what is wrong with all of you!! This woman needs to stay in the marriage. She chose to have children with this man, and its her duty as a mom to stay under one roof for the development of the kids! You don’t just make humans with someone and then one day decide they get to deal with your issues. You are in it until they’re out of the house. It’s not about “do what’s best for you”, DO WHAT’S BEST FOR THE KIDS.!!

However you do it please put them in counseling afterwards.

Keep it simple, they are young enough that they won’t want to many details… but might need someone they know they can talk to who isn’t emotional about the split they can trust to talk too if they choose too…

They are too young to understand. You’ll tell them when they grow up

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I’m sorry
I got divorced
And I didn’t have kids at the time …
BUT UNLESS
They are abusive
Or cheat constantly
Divorce has to stop being so easy
Work through it
Do what it takes
Do EVERYTHING TO TRY
And save what you had//have….
It is there

Watch a movie called war room .
Seriously people need to stop giving up on love
Just take the extra “steps”
To try
I didn’t in my first marriage
I bailed he cheated
I cheated after
He was a drunk
Had problems
I was 25?!?!
I left
10 years later he is dead
Committed suicide
That will stick with me forever ….
Try to make shit work people
Stop bailing on your life because it might get hard
Life isn’t easy no matter what or where you are

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Just say sometimes people stop liking each other and dont want to live together.

Are yous still in love with each other ?
If you’s are then yes try marriage counseling if you’s aren’t then it’s better to split …
There’s a difference between being in love and loving someone .
Remind your children no matter what there always will be loved by you both .

You should sit them down with both parents and both parents tell the kids how much theyre loved and wanted and how nothing is their fault. They may be too young to understand all of it… but kids aren’t dumb…they will get the fundamentals that someone is moving out and they will go from house to house.

I was 10 and my sister was 7/8 when my parents divorced. They sat us down and told us very clearly that they were no longer going to be together. That was it. They answered any questions we had which weren’t many because we knew it was coming. But my advice coming from the child of divorced parents is be clear with them. Don’t beat around the bush or be petty or anything. Just be honest with them

Be kind, be honest, keep it simple, and remember, you’re laying the groundwork for not only their future relationship with the other parent, but their future relationships with potential partners.

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My daughter was 5 when her dad and I split (he still wont sign the papers bc hes a dick and thinks 2yrs and a baby later I’ll still come back so I’m waiting on the courts thanks to covid) I told her that mommy and daddy are going to be friends now. That we still have love for eachother but that sometimes mommy’s and daddys are better off as friends then husband and wife. (I cant stand him but he attempts to be a decent dad. Not great or good bc of his upbringing and his toxic family but to the best of his personal capabilities)so I will never talk negative about him. She still asks questions but I just remind her that we didnt get along as husband and wife but we are friends and get along much better. Definitely make sure they know it’s not their faults! Dont put the blame on anyone if it truly is mutual.

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They are too little to be involved or confused with that shit show. What the hell. Start a visiting schedual, and be consistent.

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I told my kids that we loved them to much to argue in front of them, so we are going to separate

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Mine were young when I went through mine but even know that they’re older they ask and I just tell them “mom and dad didn’t get along when we were married. We fought way too much and we’re better as friends. We get along great now that we’re not together and it’s better for you kids this way”

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The only advice I can give you is, the kids WILL adjust and always remember, kids are happy when mom and dad are happy, even when they aren’t together. Good luck. Oh and don’t be so hard on yourself. No lie, it will be difficult, but like I said, happiness is the #1 key…

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Me and my ex have been there we have a special needs son but me and him was better off friends but we do Whats best for our son and his dad us here everyday day and sometimes spends the night but my son is now 13 and he knows its best that me and is dad are just friends and you can’t just stay together because you have kids believe me I knlw we tryed it and it just made stuff worse good luck

Just explain to them that mommy and daddy are gonna be living in separate houses now but that they’ll still get to see the both of you. Make sure they know you both still love them very much. But you really don’t need to go into detail because they’re not going to understand.

I think you will have to only really explain it to the five year old my 2 year old never asked questions when me and his dad split up but he never really asked much about his dad I think maybe every blue moon he would say he missed his dad and when that would happen I would make sure he got to see him

considering your youngest is only 6 months it may be a rough post partum period. counseling & communication

They know already.:woman_shrugging:t2:the hard part is going forward…hope/faith​:pray:

Don’t give up just yet keep trying

Omg
Reading through the comments …. Boils my blood…
“ kids will adjust”
STFU honestly

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You can’t to them ages…

Just be honest- I told my children the truth of the situation and now mum and dad are going to live in different houses but both parents love you. Children will adjust.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I explain to my kids that their dad and I are getting a divorce? - Mamas Uncut

My sons were 4 and almost 2. I just told them that they know mom and dad argue a lot and it’s not something that can be fixed. Even though we are going to live in separate homes doesn’t mean that we stop loving you. I told them that in no way was it there fault or had anything to do with them. This is a grown-up thing. We both reassured them constantly and answered any questions they had throughout the years.

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I explained it to my then 4 and 6 year old. That there were going to be changes. They weren’t going to be easy. But Mommy and Daddy love them very much and that is something that will never change.
It is hard. Its been a couple years. My kids still ask why and I just try to highlight how happy I am. How happy he is. And that has helped us be a better Mommy and a better Daddy to them. I did also start my children in therapy to help. Focus on the good. Focus on you. Rebuild yourself. Focus on them. And just start picking up the pieces and going forward.

Since this is mutual and standing are great. With this age all you gotta say is daddy found a new home for now and we share you… thats it till they get older or someone starts dating and a kid gets curious. But the 5 year old really the only one who should know anything. Happy for you in this co parent stuff best of luck

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I’ve been the child in a divorce and my 3 boys went through it with myself and their father(longstory) best thing yall can do is coparent every single aspect and make it smoothly bit by bit and let them adjust it sucks ass I know but it will benefit the kids knowing yall ain’t toxic or hate each other mine were 2 18montha and 4months old and he ripped me away from them when I was all thwy knew and traumatized them badly

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Just explain to them that they still have mommy and daddy, just in two separate houses. Assure them that they will still be loved just as much and will see each of you, just not at the same time. Tell them that they get double holidays now. (Sounds materialistic, but small children love the thought of double everything.)

My final court hearing was the 6th…i told both my boys (5&6) when they would ask, that mommy and daddy just werent getting along anymore. (They saw all the fighting and crying) and they did pretty well with it. The only downfall was for 2 years their father kept putting it in their heads that we would be getting back together and i would have to explain that i was happier with just me and the boys and being happy was important in life. Despite the set backs theyve transitioned well to having the 2 different households, even tho we still fight quite a bit i make sure they know that its better that we be seperate and not hurt eachother anymore.

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