How do I get my boyfriend to shower?

I’ve been dating this man for about 6 months now. He sometime smell a lil musty. He doesn’t smell bad. But not good either. It’s like a musty attic smell. Mainly his hair. I noticed serveral times lately he’s had the same shampoo and body wash bottles in his shower since we met and i been coming to his place. There’s no bar of soap or anything else he could be using to bathe. There’s a dirty wash rag hanging on the side of the tub that’s been there at least 3 months. He wears the same clothes over and over. All raggedy faded clothes with little holes. He works two jobs as a bartender and a gas station cashier. He’s always in his gas station shirt even when not at work. Last week I bought him some axe body wash as a surprise. It’s still sitting in the package not touched. He seemed irritated when I gave it to him. I hinted he needed to freshen up before we went to dinner. I peeked down under the bathroom door and saw he was just sitting on the toilet. With the water running. He acted like he took a shower and didn’t. He kept the same dirty shirt with mustard stain on. But changed his jogging pants into his teenage sons tiny football pants. I really like this man and see a future with him. But how do I approach his hygiene issues?
1011 Likes

Well what has always worked for me is you can make a private intimate thing and get naked and have him get naked and both of you take a shower together and just make it sexy like that

Make it inmate and shower with him. As far as his clothes, act like you’re doing a kind gesture and do his laundry.

Noo, do you want to be his mother? Don’t try to get a grown man to take a shower… just find one who does!

1 Like

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I get my boyfriend to shower?

Maybe take a shower with him and show him how it’s done. Good luck!

11 Likes

Oh Jesus RUNNN lmao. He’s about to give you soo many infections :rofl::rofl:

37 Likes

Straight up tell him.

1 Like

Could he have depression?

11 Likes

RUN…HE ISN’T WORTH YOUR BEAUTY…HE NEEDS TO Clean up and SHOW you off!!!

1 Like

Tell him he stinks to get a shower sometimes I do it too my husband specially after he sweats at work all day

8 Likes

Does he have a psychological or neurological diagnosis Maybe he needs more support/instruction

5 Likes

Alana Tingey I wouldn’t be able to deal from all the cooties.

2 Likes

Bribe him with freaky in the shower? Try to be all sexy with the soap? Idk😂

5 Likes

sounds like a disgusting guy i dated. anytime i tried bringing it up he acted like a jerk when i was trying to be nice about it. if he isnt willing to listen and better his hygiene just walk away.

6 Likes

If he can’t take care of himself he will not take care of you. Learned that the hard way after 5 years.

18 Likes

Gross! That is not anything to overlook

9 Likes

Uhm let him know about his hygiene if you are serious about him or run

3 Likes

Umm maybe he’s depressed :unamused:

6 Likes

I’d just be honest with Him. He can be depressed could be more then what you can see… good luck

3 Likes

Sounds like depression.

2 Likes

Girl leave now before you have huge regrets

3 Likes

Tell him to stop being a lazy twit

4 Likes

I would just tell him that the smell is bothering you and go from there. Don’t be rude about it or anything cause he may be going through a mental break down. The world isn’t very peaceful right now. You could also shower with him.

This sounds (to me) like depression and mania mixed together. Maybe he needs to seek some help from a professional. It wont hurt to let him know exactly how you are feeling and why. Maybe suggesting therapy could help the both of you

4 Likes

Make it fun, tell him you want to shower with him…you take the dirty wash rag out and hopefully he’ll pick up what you’re laying down…he’ll relate to the shower as being “fun” and might wash his a$$ without being told…lol

And you’re with him why? Ewwwwwww.

2 Likes

You must be desperate to be in a relationship, …nuff said…

6 Likes

You cant possibly see a future with a man who doesn’t bath especially in the beginning to at least try , it can only go down hill and hes already at the grimy bottom.

8 Likes

Does he have hot water ? Like I don’t understand people who do these things

2 Likes

I don’t think I could stick around knowing he wasn’t a clean person.

8 Likes

Tell him wash his asd

5 Likes

It would be a high maintenance job trying to keep him clean. Can’t change a person.

5 Likes

Red flags!!! Listen to them and :v:t3: out

1 Like

Shower with him and wash him or just tell him straight up to get your fucking ass in the shower or he ain’t getting laid. Haha

Offer to wash his back!!!

2 Likes

Geez you’re not his mother!! He’s grown man!! Dump this guy!!

8 Likes

Yea These things are too important. Girl you don’t wanna end up with yeast infection every other week because of his dirty ass :joy: just saying. Won’t get better in the long run.

Sounds like depression.

1 Like

I think that he has to have some kind of mental issues to not care about being clean … just my opinion

6 Likes

Ya know those long scrubby brushes for cars that attach to the hose? Use that…

4 Likes

I’d be gone so quick.

1 Like

Be honest now, guys don’t take hints…and if gets mad then say see ya

4 Likes

I hope your not doing certain things, that’s just funky

7 Likes

This just sounds like you’re gonna have multiple UTI’s. :rofl:

32 Likes

You just have to tell him. Be 100% honest. That is gross. Depression or not, bathing is a necesssity. If he can’t commit to something as easy as basic hygiene, then honey he ain’t the one. :face_vomiting:

22 Likes

That would be a hell no for me!

4 Likes

He could be suffering from depression

3 Likes

You don’t approach his hygiene Issues you break up and date someone who has nice hygiene. Simple

10 Likes

Need to be honest. Could be a reason why such as mental health issues, if not and he just doesn’t want to and it bothers you, you’ve a decision to make.

2 Likes

He’s probably depressed.

1 Like

You buy those stuff you want him to use like shampoo and body wash and when he use it conpliment him so next time he would buy and use tue same product…but if i would be on your case i would rather be honest to him…

If you are being intimate??? Eweeee move on,

9 Likes

Maybe throw some shampoo on his head and hopefully he will shower to get it out. IDK I couldn’t date someone who refuses to keep good hygiene.

13 Likes

He pretending to take a shower!?! :joy:

13 Likes

Ewww and are you intimate with him? Poor hygiene is a dealbreaker in my books. There is absolutely no excuse for that. I don’t care how good-looking you are and how much I like you if you have poor hygiene that says some thing about you not just physically but possibly mentally

3 Likes

He has a son?? Does he get his son to bathe???

2 Likes

I’d just tell him he needs to clean up and stay that way , otherwise it’s a no.

I see no future with a man like that.

3 Likes

Is he depressed? I know I went through a bad depression phase and quit taking care of myself like I should have. Definitely not to this extreme but still :pensive: idk I can’t think of anything else. Definitely talk to him. If he’s just not washing himself for that long of a period of time just because he doesn’t want to and talking to him doesn’t help then it’s definitely a red flag.

12 Likes

Sounds like depression

2 Likes

Is this for real? Then I assume he doesn’t wash his hands either… gross

3 Likes

Just tell him and if he gets upset then oh well. If he really likes you then it shouldn’t matter if you tell him he needs to shower. How can you see a future with a man that your afraid to talk about hygiene with? He should care about how you feel about it as well.

5 Likes

Yikes. Buy him new stuff n tell him u love him but he needs to keep up on his hygene.

1 Like

If he smells musty…imagine what his private area smells like?? I hope you’re not having sex with him…I would be gagging!! Lord!

Offer to take a shower with him. Make it intimate. :woman_shrugging:t2:

1 Like

Ask him who hurt him, could be a mental issue. They suffer and don’t like put in the shower. If he’s doing it on purpose. Shave all his hair off asleep. And force him in the shower :joy: I’m way to bold so maybe don’t take all my advice.

2 Likes

Will speak up and if that don’t do it move on.

1 Like

Honestly is the best approach.
Obviously be kind about it but from your comment it sounds like he’ll likely be offended no matter how you approach it.

1 Like

You can’t change a Tiger’s stripes! You’ll never get through to him. He obviously doesn’t care how he smells. You can accept him as he is, or move on. Honestly, I would have stopped seeing him after a few sniffs!

3 Likes

Offer to have a shower together and squirt some shampoo in his hair, then he will have no choice but to wash it :rofl:

2 Likes

Julie Harris
Misdetermination Eshante come see this.

I’m not upstanding what you’re seeing in him personality is key but so is hygiene I wouldn’t have been with him from 3 months ago or get when I realized he wasn’t bathing

3 Likes

No shower. No pussy.

Simple

Ummmm only thing I think of is 1. What do you do to him :nauseated_face: and ewwww

2 Likes

Is it a front load machine? Those things stink up easily.

1 Like

Sounds like depression…its gonna be hard to get him to bathe…he needs to talk to someone asap

5 Likes

I dated someone that only showered like 3 times a week then wouldn’t always put on deodorant, so gross. I married a man who showers daily, sometimes more than once, thank goodness lol.

1 Like

Try talking to him about it. I remember my grandpa was terrified of water… and didn’t like bathing much…

What has attracted you to this man. What do you see in him.

4 Likes

Sounds like a keeper

6 Likes

He actually may have a problem with depression or something totally different BUT there could be a reason. Don’t jump to quickly. Just sit and talk to him about it. Communication is always key to a good relationship.

7 Likes

Hygiene is a deal breaker for me lol. Fuck that, I already have a toddler that hates showers and wears his food.

Yes I agree he should shower but there’s a reason he’s not.
Maybe he’s depressed, try to get him in the shower with you! And if he won’t, have a conversation with him and see what he says
Good luck :heart:

3 Likes

I’m actually saddened by some of these comments…

6 Likes

It would be fairly easy to help him. Maybe purpose a hot bath after he gets home from work and put bubbles in it. Or ask him to join you in the shower and wash his hair for him and then tell him how awesome his smells and how attractive you find him afterwords.
Sounds a lot like depression and berating him like some people are suggesting isn’t going to help. If you care about this person then there are ways to show him what you need without dropping him.

6 Likes

Does he have autism or adhd? If so executive function is really difficult.

8 Likes

Now I’ve dated some real a$$holes but I can say they all showered and smelled good at least :joy:

3 Likes

Or, he might have just never grown out of not wanting to take a bath or shower. Tell him straight out honesty ‘he stinks’

1 Like

Maybe try taunting him get in with him

Ask if yall can shower together.

1 Like

Future n bad hygiene don’t go together… how do y’all do the do in that scent n knowing he doesn’t bathe… my mouth watering cuz I Upset… nah leave mister alone… u not desperate papa

2 Likes

I work with a guy who doesn’t shower and he’s proud of it. We work construction, and I can smell him from 10 feet away. He openly admits that he doesn’t shower, I don’t think he even changes his clothes.
It’s not always depression, sometimes it’s laziness
Maybe ask him right out, how come he doesn’t shower? What’s the worst that can happen, he gets mad? Well, if he’s going to get mad over that, why would you want to stay?

7 Likes

You can’t change a man…

1 Like

I can’t imagine even being attracted to someone with bad hygiene. I could not be intimate with someone who wasn’t clean. Ugh.

17 Likes

Take a shower with him. Lather him up and let him lather you up. Wash each others hair. Make it a sensual self care thing, instead of a you stink and need to get cleaned thing.

1 Like

It could be any number of mental health issues from ADHD to depression. You gotta just talk to him about why he has poor hygiene, and then ASK if he’d like help getting into better routines. If he’s bothered by it too maybe even suggest a therapist if needed. Just remember it can be a lot deeper than sheer laziness.

2 Likes

First and foremost, I’d suggest a shower together. May not give you all the answers, but possible lead to some insight and if not that, may let him know the “right” steps in showering… My husband and now son, use the same body wash as shampoo and conditioner and I hate it, makes their hair not smell great. I bought something different, but neither want to waste the first stuff…could be similar…meaning, ever so slooooowly pour the old stuff down the drain! :grimacing::flushed:

1 Like

I dated someone like this. Loved him to pieces however I could only nag for so long. It broke down my relationship. Keep trying. It super sucks yo lose someone you truly care for because they just won’t try.

The odor that he’s presenting with right now, while still somewhat new in the relationship, is the BEST he will ever smell.
Run.
It’s not worth the impending UTI.

15 Likes