… girl you leave… he is a grown ass man… you should have to tell him to shower… like gross
Hes not happy and knows hes not ready to be with you even if it seems like thats what hes trying to do…
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Terry imma start doing this 
Want this posted already tho
He doesn’t bathe, he doesn’t clean himself, he stinks, he PRETENDED TO TAKE A SHOWER BUT DID NOT ACTUALLY TAKE ONE, what kind of future could you possible see with this man? And I know y’all are about to get pissy, BUT DEPRESSION IS NO EXCUSE TO BE NASTY. Period. 
Their is NO reason a grown man, or woman even, SHOULDNT OR WONT BATHE OR CLEAN THEMSELVES. That’s disgusting. And why would anyone want to be with someone like that? No thanks! Staying in this situation, just means LOTS of infections, and nastiness for you. Leave. Simple. Walk out the door.
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How can you see a future with a man that can’t even wash his butt hole? Can’t even wash his oily hair that stinks you said like a musty attic. Oh my god I would of thrown up a little just smelling it,never mind peeking in and seeing his smelly asss just sitting there. You need to leave now, he is not going to change. That’s flat out gross, and if your a grown woman, I suggest you move on…unless you like being with a filthy disgusting man who can’t even want to be clean for his girl, never mind himself 
If you need to explain it…walk away
My question is he must be good at something, or is there no deal breakers?? 
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Nope. You just need to be straight up and tell him to shower. I suffer from sever depression and shower and brush my teeth on a daily basis. Not showering is not only unhealthy for him, but other people around him suffer from the stink. Sorry, bit don’t sugar coat it.
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No chance of changing him…run
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Communication talk to him find out why doesnt he shower what has him feeling this way an if he keeps getting angry when u try talking to him then walk away i think he is Man enough to Man up an talk
Maybe buy him a gift basket full of products like shampoo, bodywash and soaps, rags than after giving it to him just tell him you noticed that looks like he could use new stuff n that he had the same stuff in his shower for quite awhile lol
No you don’t,or this would not be a problem just move on you will end up hating him for it.
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Sounds like a part of a “Diary of a Minecraft Zombie” book. He’s in zombie training 
.
On a more serious note, I’d say that since you are wanting a future with him you are going to have to be honest. The longer you wait the more difficult it is going to be when you finally can’t take it any longer. Do you think he is a wee bit depressed?
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He might not have enough money to make ends meet so he may not have the best clothes. I’m super picky with body wash and I’ve given stuff away before if I dont like the smell. I would just buy a few different ki da of body wash and like a man loofah and see where it goes. It may have embarrassed him. I know some people have body chemicals out of whack. Like 1 person I knew, bathed but always had a weird odor. I felt bad for her I dont remember what happened but that was like 15 years ago lol. It’s important to bathe maybe he just wants to relax before showering or idk. Each time I do yard work or have a rough day at work, I gotta shower. I don’t even sit on my couch until I shower. Its gonna hurt his feelings but I would just ask him if he will try the body wash tou bought. Say you picked some stuff up for you and picked him up something that you liked the smell of. See how he responds. Maybe get some new deodorant for him too? Idk I’m trying to be sincere and not rude. He may not realize the smell he works constantly and just got used to it or because he’s not used to a woman sticking around long enough for it to bother them. Good luck!!!
Oof!!! So just be honest with him. Girl, of my pits stick my man will tell me. And if we’re going out and he looks like a bum I tell him.
Pretended to take a shower?! What is he 12?
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I’m extremely blunt and no filter I’d straight up tell him you smell funky af and you need to go take a real shower with a fresh wash cloth or I’m done and not putting up with your funky ass… I’ve also been married for 13 years and my husband is extremely clean but if was out all day in the heat that’s the way I’d be telling him but that’s the way we talk to each other lol
Yeh nar fuck that.
He is a grown arse man.
Run run run run.
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You can help a man but you can’t change a man. I’m thinking he might be depressed or suffering from some underlying mental health issues. Try to get in the shower with him but tbh you need to be honest with him and let him know that it bothers you and that it’s not good for him not to shower. If you see a future with him he should be able to appreciate that and tweak his ways a little to keep you. Otherwise, I’d say you’re not his mom and shouldn’t be put in a position where you should be babying a grown man. Good luck and hope it works out for yall 
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Has anyone thought he may have sensory issues?
People with sensory problems sometimes feel real pain when water touches them
Not everything is a laziness or ‘Red Flag’ situation x
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Why do you see a future with a man that can bother to take care of this own body? If he won’t take care of his most basic physical needs, do you think he will take care of your physical and emotional needs? What do you think would happen if you ever had babies? He wouldn’t put one ounce of his effort into it. Maybe you like something about his personality or this character or even his looks, but at this moment he is not relationship material.
If you think good lack of hygiene may be related to depression, then talk to him and see if there’s anything you can do to help him and encourage him to overcome the depression. If it’s just because he’s lazy, that’s never going to change. And if you married, I guarantee that’s not the only area he’d be lazy in. You don’t want to sign up to be a grown man’s mother. If he’s that lazy, kindly tell him it’s not working for you, and move on. You cannot change a man.
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Run, don’t walk, to the nearest exit. He won’t get better with age.
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He sounds like a bum
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“Hey I noticed that showers aren’t your favorite thing, do you want to take one together I’ll help wash you” Make it fun and maybe sexy. It seems like he has an actual reason he’s not showering. Even if it’s depression or anxiety. If he doesn’t want to shower with you and doesn’t want to try and change then a more serious discussion needs to happen.
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How old is he ?? He seems to like to be dirty
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This has to be a joke, how do you possibly see a future with a man who has no respect for himself
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No reason to give hints to a grown msn. Just sit him down and tell him his hygiene needs alot of improvement. Than give him the products including wash cloths and clean towels and if needed gently explain what needs to be done on a daily basis. Some people have never been taught as a child to take care of themselves. He also could be depressed. Good luck.
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Sounds like more of your dates should be at the pool or in a body of water lol take advantage of the heat while you can
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The question is have you had sex with him yet and if your answers yes then his balls can’t be that bad Lmao
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Dirt pig!!! Sounds like you should be in the pen too!!!
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Until u get infections from the maggots off of his junk I guess ur ok with it. Blah! 
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Hygiene is important. The question is are you going to be able to put up with his Hygiene habits?
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If you see a future with this man, don’t you think you should be able to have a conversation about hygiene? Seems that a relationship will bring you more dilemmas than this. Just be an adult and talk to him about it?
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There’s no easy way to tell him… just tell him he needs to wash his a$$ because it’s nasty. Listen, just run away. As fast as you can because it seems like he’s content with not keeping up with his hygiene.
Withhold sex until he hits the water, and tell him to do so. He can introduce infection. Have an honest conversation and tell him.
I straight up tell my man when he gets musty. 
I just say “bruh you need a shower”. And if he wants to do the deed we both gotta be clean. Sometimes we shower 2x a day. Bc no one is getting in my clean bed dirty. Its summer time. Its hot here and we sweat when we open the door. Just tell the man to shower.
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Either straight up tell him, or move on. 
Like, have shower sex or some thing girl. Invite him over and be like babe, come shower with me?
I dated a younger guy one time, he got off work once and came to my house and oh hell no, his feet stank. Shoes. Socks. Everything stunk.
My one night stand with stinky ass feet turned into a 3 yr relationship because I was straight up with him.
We bought a powder for his work boots, and aired them outside (he does construction)
And bought him another pair… Anyways, he smelt a lot better after that and kept up on keeping everything smelling good Lol
Moral of the story? Tell the damn truth even if it hurts them.
Why be miserable and with someone, then be single and not smelling no nasty person 
Do yous live together? If so who’s name is on the tenant agreement?
If it’s only your name on there - then it’s your house & if I were you - I’d just tell him to stay the fuck out of my house until you shower and wash every part of your body with soap!
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Alicia, this is giving me flashbacks.
Ope. 
make it make sense.
Noooooooooo. Run. Turn around and RUN. lace them running shoes up and March. Dear lorttttt.
If he doesn’t have enough pride in his self appearance THEN how will he have enough pride in you.
Now, I know there are mental illnesses that take a toll on a persons ability to hygiene properly BUT if I gotta be your mama while dating a man, I’m gone. Period.
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Shower with him! Be all sexy and lure him in. Then lather hom up telling him how sexy he smells. Every time he bathes, “reward” him… yes - like you would a child or dog. Make it a point to point out how sexy it is when you run your fingers through his clean hair. How much a turn on it is when he wears clean smelling clothes. Wash his clothes yourself and use all the laundry smell goods? Is his place clean? If not, clean it with alllll the smell goods!
Another note… how are you intimate with him? From the way you explain it, his junk can’t smell good down there. If “training” him doesn’t work, that’s a deal breaker for me .
Also, talk about it after y’all shower? Maybe there’s a trauma behind it. Depression? There has to be a reason why a grown man won’t clean himself. Esp a bartender. Both his jobs deal with the public and no one wants a dirty man making their drinks.
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Could he have depression? Or sensory issues with showering?
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Depression issues I would say!
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The real question is… what “normal” grown ass man doesn’t want to shower… has he been depressed lately or does he have alot of stress ?
Not worth the effort.
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I’m over here like why does my man go through so much damn soap. Like we need to go to Sams club for just a month supply lol. We’re not afraid to tell one another if we stink. Maybe something traumatized him as a kid with water or he was sexually assaulted in the bathroom? You never know. Talk to him and find out what’s going on. Offer to wash his back for him or see if he wants to take a shower together
I hate to be that person but there could be a reason he is uncomfortable in the shower maybe? Maybe offer to accompany him and make it something that isn’t so miserable for him? Just being there doing makeup or something while he’s showering may help?
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I flat out just tell my husband he stinks and he better shower or im not touching him. It works. Lol
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Tell him to wash his ass!!! good Lord!!!
Sounds like depression
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Not acceptable… my 15 yr old son showers twice a day sometimes & brushes his teeth ect without being told … straight up tell him you can’t be with him until he learns to do the basic needs for himself …
Girllllll hard pass on all that smegma. A man who refuses to take care of basic hygiene is going to be lazy in all aspects. Run while you can
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Girl……you just have to come right out and be straight up. Tell him you have standards, and you feel it’s reasonable for you expect him to do the minimum when it comes to taking care of himself. Make a date of going to get him a couple pairs of jeans etc on occasion, and tell him how good he smells when he gets out of the shower. Pump him up, and make him feel like he has a good reason to clean up.
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Buy him Jordan 3-1 body wash lol
Possibly depression. There’s been times when I was in a horrible depressed stage and didn’t shower for a week or two. Not because I’m dirty but because I had no motivation to do anything.
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He’s sceard of water 
Spray splash take a bath
Tell him to wash that stank a$$ 
Sounds like depression i have gone 4 weeks not showering im not proud and I knew I stunk but I couldn’t shower no motivation
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How can you see a future with someone that can’t even take care of themselves? What if you had a child together? You think he’s going to put effort in bathing and taking care of the child or teaching them good hygiene when they get older? Bad example for them and any kids you already have now.
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He doesn’t care. He doesn’t care for himself. How will he care …for you? He won’t care for anyone. Maybe he’s depressed. It sounds like he is. Ask him is the other way just sit and talk about why he doesn’t like it and why he got upset about the gift. Axe body soap burns my husband skin. He said never buy again. It feels like his body’s on fire. It’s pretty strong perfumes. I’m wondering about his teen son as well. You said the same soaps are there. Same rag. That’s bad.
Ask him what’s going on in his mind when it comes to bathing?
I’m straight forward. You especially have to begin a relationship. Ask him why he doesn’t shower and take care of himself. There is no way I could be with someone that doesn’t want to take care of himself. All the germs 
on the clothes and towel/wash cloth. I couldn’t! Does he brush his teeth?
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Go swimming once a week lol! That’s gross… I hope you ain’t 
that that’s not healthy for you either.
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My husband showers multiple times a day. Even if he just sits at home all day doing nothing on the weekend he wants to take a shower. He loves soap and has more bottles of it than the average person lol so this is just weird to me. I dont understand how you see a future with someone who is lazy and dirty but maybe that’s just me 
He is working. So not lazy. Depression sucks. ! Maybe that’s it maybe plan a. Sexy bath night. Together. ! And then who knows. … He’s got problems. And shows it by not caring for himself. But if he cares for you. He has to make a change. Good luck. I. Have depression. And. Feel like no one cares. Lives me. And sometimes slack off. Talk to him. Love him. Etc. It’s up to you really. To. Stay or not.
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If he put the effort in to go into the bathroom and start the water, why would he just sit on the toilet? That doesn’t make any sense. If he’s depressed, he wouldn’t even go in there and turn the water on so that’s not what it is. To me, it just sounds like he is lazy or doesnt care. And if he doesn’t care about himself, he definitely isnt going to care about you or your relationship.
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If you are unable to openly communicate with him about bathing…what on earth would you expect it to be like when life issues arise? Wow… I would run
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The musty smell sounds like he’s drying off with a month old wet towel and the wash rag sounds digusting. Does he do laundry regularly? Does he have time atleast? He’s tired so just try to help if he let’s you.
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Be careful you can get an infection in your vagina called BV if he doesn’t have good hygiene yucky girl
I once dated a very poor guy…same habits. Had to let him go.
That smell is probably coming from washing with that dirty wash rag. Probably smell like mild dew at this point. And he keeps wiping his ass with it then rubbing all over his body the over and over:mask:
Obviously this is going to be a sensitive subject… shame on all of you for dismissing a person when something is obviously not ok. Be honest, understanding. I don’t know what his reaction or reason will be but it obviously needs addressed. I hope it works out for you, you obviously care about him. Gl.
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Pretend it’s sexy time in the shower lather him up b4 you run away from him try to figure out why… I wouldn’t give him no goody tho this can give u an infection. Something has to be going on with him 
don’t listen the the people saying run giving up is easy and for the weak.
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If this is serious, OMG set him free. It’s not just hygiene, he’s dishonest with the fake washing routine. No communication.
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I tell my husband if he wants his dick anywhere near my vagina or my mouth he needs to shower with me and keep himself clean I love him but he got wayyyyy to use to not being able to shower when he was in the army. And it just rolled right on over to normal life after he got out of the army. I honestly don’t think he even realized it. Instead of being a jerk I got him new stuff and told him that if he wants his dick in my mouth then he needs to shower with me. Then I see he washes, we have intimate moments showering together, and it’s an all around win for both of us. He could just honestly have depression, not realize he stinks, or even not like that showering regularly makes his skin dry. Try offering a massage with lotion after he does shower. He might like that the good lotion makes his skin not dry and gross feeling after he showers
If he does not have mental illness then take him outside and get the hose and spray him down and throw soap at him🙊
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If he’s a grown man and hasn’t taken interest in hygiene, youre likely not to change that. The thing about dating someone is to get to know who they are, and hes showing you who he is, that’s obviously not compatible with who you are as your hygiene standards are not the same… Me personally, this would be a deal breaker for me… This is probably one of many red flags and being how you’ve only been together a few months I suggest dipping out. You are not locked into the relationship, that’s what dating is about you don’t have to stick with that person. He’s a grown man, not a teenage boy you should not be having to teach him basic hygiene.
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Maybe be seductive and flirty and say let’s take a shower together and start washing him when you get in… but on that note how do you guys have sex if he’s nasty… major turn off
I know a lot of people who don’t shower when they are depressed (including myself) or if they are on the autism spectrum and hate the feel of water on themselves. Sit down and have a serious discussion about it and go from there.
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Life is too short to be unhappy. Let him go and find you a new man who meets your expectations.
Take a shower together
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Tip honey onto his hair, he will be showering for a good 10 minutes to get it all out.
Seriously though, this man is grown and doesn’t care about hygiene, sorry but yuck!!
I kept waiting for the punchline like… my dog just doesn’t get it, or… the homeless man had no idea we were dating.
Err, I’m sorry but I actually thought this was a joke
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Shower with him? U might just need to do some tough love and tell him that he smells bad and needs a shower
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U gonna get an infection . So u have had sex I assume and probably he doesn’t shower in between tell him to take a shower or he isnt getting any , tell him to jump in the shower with you
I feel like this could be depression. It could be some form of PTSD. It could be a number of things. Surely nobody without an underlying issue would just go unbathed. I don’t have advice on how to address this, but I feel bad for both parties. I don’t know that I could handle that. But I also don’t know that I could leave the person I want to be with.
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You are dating a child, find a man 
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Tell him you wanna get freaky in the shower and when yal get in there you wash him up before yal get freaky lol
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Eww I hope you ain’t sleeping with him because that’s gross
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I would tell him to take a real bath an wash his hair an put on clean clothes are I am out of his life
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Girl Trichomonas is you will get…. RUN 
Get a bunch of those auto air freshener sprayers and hang them all over so when he walks past throughout the day he gets freshened from time to time. 
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Honestly I would have to openly say good hygiene is one of my base boundaries, if you cannot clean up I cannot do this. Maybe start with how much you care and want this to work.
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Brianna Branch new bf?
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That will only get worse
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Tell him straight up, he needs to care more about his hygiene, he stink
Unfortunately I feel that a lot of times this is just about how they were raised and it is something that just does not change.
That would be a deal breaker for me.
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