So I’m a new mom, my daughter just turned 3 months today. I’m a stay home mom my husband works 12 hours providing for us. And I’m at home taking care of the house.His thing is because he heard it from other people. That right now in this stage he can’t do much with the baby, and I keep telling him I know you work all day, so do I, but please take our daughter so I can calm down, do a few things, stuff like that. He only holds her for a minute or two and hands her right back to me.
I’m depressed all the time, I’m moody so changing all the time. I haven’t had a great break in 3 months, and he gets to come home and play his games and then go to bed.
Yes I know he worked all day and he’s
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I get my husband to help out more around the house or even with our daughter,?
Ummm no tell him to man up and look after his baby. He can bath baby he can help feed baby he can do washing he can take baby for a walk he can play and bond with baby.
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He’s worked all day and yes, he needs a good sleep but you also need an hour or two yourself as well. I would talk to him.
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Sounds like depression, and if this is your first its understandable. However he does need to learn how to cope with baby also. Men go through the same things as women but almost opposite of women. He can give baby a bottle a binki and attention but it only lasts so long for them and they do not have the patience women do. Its rough now ut it will get better.
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Get a job and support the family so he can stay home.
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Can you mom or his mom give you a break sometimes?
The man works 12 hour shifts I mean damn he probably tired. I don’t understand women having babies if they can’t handle what comes with it.
Yeah he maybe working but the baby is just as much his responsibility as yours. It’s absolutely OK to want a little break when he’s home, he’s being selfish not allowing that. As for him not being allowed to do much with the baby… That’s a load of rubbish. Plenty of dad’s do everything and more from day 1 so it just sounds like an excuse for being lazy. There’s nothing wrong with him playing games as his wind down time, but you deserve wind down time too, and I’m not talking just enough time for a shower as self care isn’t us time and I’m over people thinking it should be. Relationships require compromise. Being a stay at home mum is equally as draining as working 12 hour shifts, at least working he is able to get adult conversation and a lunch break. I’ve been on both sides and I treat coming to work as my break, even on night shifts
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When he gets home hand him the baby say you’re going to the store and leave or hand him the baby and say you need a nap and go lay down. Just do it don’t wait for a response just do it
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It doesn’t matter if he has worked all day or not. Being a stay at home mom, especially with a newborn, is also a full time job. He’s working all day. You’re working all day. When the “work” day is done, the household chores as well as caring for your child should be done together, to make life easier on each other. It also allows for more time to relax. At the end of the day, if the two of you took an hour to handle the household chores, had dinner and settled the baby, together, you would both have time to relax in the evening. Please don’t take this the wrong way, but the problem is that you, and a lot of stay at home mothers, give their partner the choice of helping with the children. This is not a choice. Y’all made the baby together, you take care of the baby together. And him saying that there isn’t much he can do, is some straight BS. If you’re exclusively breast feeding, the ONLY thing he can’t do is feed the baby. If you’re pumping to feed, or formula feeding, he has zero excuses. He is capable of changing her, bathing her, dressing her, holding her… if I were you, when he gets home, I would do dinner, give him a few minutes to relax and then hand HIS child over to him and walk away!! Go lock yourself in the bathroom and take the longest, hottest bubble bath you can. Do not give him a choice but to help take care of his child!
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Tell him you are not a single parent and he lives there too therefore he needs to do his part in the partnership you have and also as a parent… Stop the mentality of asking for help! It is not help! You are not the service! A marriage is 2 people working together and parenting also takes 2
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He needs to support you through this. You made that child together. It is not only your responsibility to take care of everything. You need a break. You deserve some time to yourself or your physical and mental health will be severely affected. Tell him to step up or get out.
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I think maybe don’t expect much on the days he works as yes he does 12 hr days but how long does he commute? Add maybe an hour getting ready and travel and such but on the days off hella yes to helping out, bath baby,if BF do some housework. I’m a miner Mum but mine doesn’t come home so I’m at home 5+ days by myself with a 4yo and 11 week old. Plus being a new dad might be unsure on how to help some don’t like screaming or don’t understand their needs, maybe just talk to him
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Yoooo that sounds like post partum depression, sis
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Hand him that baby when he walks in the door and drive away. He will figure it out.
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He should be happy to care for his own child that’s love 
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Sounds like Post Natal Depression, she needs to see a doctor. 12 hours work days is a long time.
He could still help
No matter what he does
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Set the baby up next to him while he’s playing games with everything he needs, then go out.
People might have gotten it into his head that he’s ‘babysitting’ when watching his own kid, when it’s parenting.
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So he can sit on his ass on his game for how ever long? But can’t help with your baby? He can do a lot actually he can’t take her, while you shower in peace, or even if you just want to watch tv on your own, have a breather, whatever you want to do. But if your baby isn’t crying just put her in the cot or bassinet and make dad keep an eye on her.
Get rid of the game, when you have kids you need to change your priorities
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Work or no work he’s supposed to contribute offer him too get some rest on a day off an then next day your turn. Taking care of kids is 50-50 partnership some dad’s are weird about holding baby’s so young… see why… y’all two gotta talk… communication is the key… to any successful relationship
Talk to a trusted friend or family member an see if they’d watch baby so you can catch some sleep or bath 
in peace. If u don’t feel comfortable with baby leaving ur home invite them there too watch baby or go too do something for yourself go eat, get a new outfit. Something… having a new baby is very stressful an tiring. You’ll will get thru this with or without his help.
He is suppose to be helping out! Work or no work. Being a sahm is a job!
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Nope tell him to change her giver her a bottle and put her
To sleep. It’s not hard
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Yeah - no. Tell him he is a father and time to act like it. You didn’t make the baby on your own. My husband only for 1 day off a fortnight - worked 12-14 hour days and still helped out around the house - changed baby nappy at night whilst I then fed and settled back to sleep and got up with them in the morning so I could try and get at least two hours solid sleep.
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Omg, taking care of a baby and holding a house together not that hard? Like seriously how messy are you that you can’t clean and maintain the house clean if he’s working for 12 hours? I had four little ones no help from dad. I was mom and wife 24 hours not the end of the world. Dad was baby sitter/dad when they were out of diapers and then I have my time worked out great.
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This is literally who I’m divorcing currently. Threw me into a very deep depression and I lost myself completely. If hes working 12 hours, see if you can afford a parttime nanny or housekeeper. But just a heads up, things do not get better so please look at your reality and how you want the rest of your life to look like.
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Maybe I’m old school but if he’s working especially those long hours and you’re a SAHM, then deal with it. MAYBE ya each get a day off a week but other than that, being able to be a SAHM is truly a blessing. Just my opinion, no need to bring on all the hate!
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You mentioned you’re feeling moody and could be depressed. Have you seen a dr for PPD? Might be helpful
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He has to parent his child as well. No matter the labels. A parent is a parent.
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Ever stop to think ur moody because you are overwhelmed and tired ?
Leave him. If he doesn’t want to help raise his kid he might as well be single
When you figure it out write a book. You’ll make gazillions!
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When you find the answer let us know.
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If you’re a stay at home mom then how are you working all day? He works 12 hours a day. I know I’ll probably get alot of hate for typing this but I’ll type it anyways. It seems like taking care of a child and do things around the house is hard to do when it’s not.
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Hell, my husband and I both work in the refineries and I still don’t get a break with our two.
I legit do everything in the house and for about two kiddos. I never get to sleep in or have a day to myself.
It absolutely sucks! I’m so sorry you are dealing with this momma:broken_heart:
Straight up PND. 3months old is the easy stage of keeping a house. Its ok to leave the baby and have a shower. Its ok to soak in the bath while baby sleeps. Talk to hubby before you become too resentful
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First off being a sahm is work, and it’s not always as easy as people make it sound. Secondly, she said she was depressed, depression makes everyday simple tasks very daunting, even something simple like brushing your teeth can seem impossible to accomplish regardless of if it’s post-partum or another form or just feeling overwhelmed. Talk to your Dr about some kind of antidepressants to help with your mental state, talk to your husband , reassure him he’s not going to “break the baby” ( my ex husband had that fear after the birth of our oldest) and if you have anyone you trust nearby see if they can watch the baby if only for an hour or 2 and relax, do something fun, have a date night whatever. Good luck momma, if I can do it you can do it 
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I am gonna piss people off. I was a stay at home mom to 3 all 4yrs and under. My husband worked 10-12 hours a day. I NEVER expected him to come home and “give me a break”, he needed to prepare to get up early and work again. I had friends that we would all keep each others kids for a day so us moms could have a break. A 3 month old is soooooo much easier to lay in bed while mom cleans, showers or even naps when baby is napping.
You’re likely moody because you’re overwhelmed and need a break. If you trust a family member enough to ask for a few hours of help around the house and a nap, it’s completely expected. You and your body just went through so much trauma and hard work. Give yourself time and think about your relationship and ask yourself what needs to change to make you happier. You matter equally to him.
So you went through your whole postpartum with no help whatsoever. I’m glad you healed up! I’d remind that it took two people to make the child and it takes both to raise the child. A good parenting relationship starts when they’re babies. I’d leave on a day he isn’t working and just do something for yourself. Go to a park and read book, fishing, wander the mall, etc. if you don’t do something for yourself you will burn out. Maybe just start therapy and see if unloading your problems with someone who’s only job is to help you improves the depression. Personally I found dealing with the assholes in my life made things improve. They either stepped it up or they were cut off. Life is too short to suffer by others.
Id book a drs appointment I was in the same boat on mat leave while he worked one time the baby turned his head to follow his voice and he moved I was so sad I knew then I was on my own
This ey, I ended up so done. Wouldn’t do anything unless I asked and why should I have to you been there and should know cues too. And even when they asked if I want help here n there they never did it straight away would go n distract themselves n not get to do it until they saw me just going n doing then say I was about to 
to late.
Dna dont make parent, parenting makes parent!
Hand him the baby on his day off, and leave. Go take some time for yourself. If he objects, you will know it will always be you required to do it all.
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Maybe couples counseling?? If you are still depressed about the situation after that you should leave him. Depression would only get worse. I have serous mental issues RIGHT NOW that stem from this. My kids are grown and i still not over it. If you dont put your/your childs happiness 1st you will regret later
Wish I had answers for you, cause I know it’s overwhelming. I’m a mother of 6, who are all almost grown. It was the same in our home. My husband had to work lots of hours to provide. He didn’t do much with our children, but he never played games either. That’s the part I don’t understand. If my husband wasn’t working making money, he was outside taking care of yard work or whatever else outside that needed tending to. I was the one taking care of the inside chores and children. He didn’t do much when they were really small like that. Once they got a little older he would take them outside with him, even riding them with him on the lawnmower till they would fall asleep. He tried. I tried not to be to hard on him cause I know he had lots of responsibilities on him as well. I’d talk with your husband. I don’t think I could handle him sitting there playing games and not helping with the baby at all. Every home is different and I hope yall can come to an agreed upon construct that will work for your family. If you are suffering mentally and feeling overwhelmed I would speak with your Dr. You may need something to help balance your hormones after having your baby. Our body goes through so many changes after birth. Blessings to you.
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Sometimes husbands mow, repair cars, etc. Is he doing things like that to help?
Idc how long that man worked, you didn’t create that baby yourself. Put your damn foot down. It may take a couple tries but he will eventually get it. Don’t take no for an answer. I went through this with my husband. I had to keep repeating myself for the longest. I eventually told his ass you help or I leave. He thought I was kidding. I left. Not for long but long enough for him to realize he needed to help. Some men take a little longer to get it lol.
Leave the house so he will take care of her. Go to the store.
Sorry but hide the game system and I did on my fiance first few months after our son was born and I let his guys friends know hey first few months we are spending as a family. But this was before covid shut everything down. He ended up furloughed over it and he had to learn to be a stay at home dad 
I continued to work because I was deemed essential and he told me himself idk how women do this never thought it be this hard
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Rather than just shuffing the child in his face when he comes home maybe the two of you do something with the child like go for a walk you aware he works and seem great fun for that so transition from you caring for child to joint then he for an hour or two to give you a break
Before he goes to sleep
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Girl hand him that baby and walk out the door. I know it is scary as a Mom, knowing you are their lifeline… Feed & change the baby right before he gets home, hand her off and go for a drive or a walk, go get some Starbucks or go walk the store… don’t ask because you may never get a chance… He is Dad, just as you are Mom… he’ll be okay, he’ll figure it out, just like you did!!! And if he’s a little mad? Sorry for ya or you could rub his back and say, thanks babe I really needed that break and smile. 
Trust me, even if hes mad (which he shouldn’t be) you will be relaxed and happier, and if not, you will be the one mad again and he will be living his best life lol so just do it!!!
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I know people have said “ give him the baby and leave” but after so many crazy stories of their own parents hurting the babies … I’d be scared to leave … if you can have a related help you out that would be good so you can go and have lunch with a friend … have a talk with your partner about sharing the time with the baby so put your mind at rest for awhile even just to take a bath 
have a snack …
while he plays the game if you have a swing or a bouncer that will help ! Maybe after you feed the baby ask him to just watch her until she goes to sleep ? Usually that’s what I use to do.
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He can do everything with a baby at any age.
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He can watch her
He can hold her
He can do tummy time
He can bath her
He can change her
He can sing to her
He can feed her a )
(bottle)
He can take her on a walk
He can take her on a car ride
He do anything you can expect breastfeed her.
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Some of you are exposing yourself as nasty hateful trash. Maybe keep that shit to yourself
I’m not sure why men think just because they work that they don’t have to be fathers. Have a serious talk with him and if nothing changes, leave him. He is just as much a parent as you. You deserve a man who wants to give you a break! A man who wants to be a father and bond with his children. It’s disgusting and flat out disrespectful. You didn’t make that baby alone and your work as a mother is harder than any job he could ever work. You deserve a break too, you deserve to have some time to be yourself not just a mom.
Oh no, he needs to help with that baby as soon as he gets home. It doesn’t matter if he worked or not. He should want to be apart of the everyday things. He can change diapers, bath time. All of it
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Is there friend that can come around and sit there with your daughter. Why you can have bit off sleep or coffee or some think . I know you like to get your husband to help but some time friend can help you out too. My best friend was same she all ask her husband to help. So I said why I there for dinner one night I come over help clean up and look after bub . Why you get some time to your self . She book hairdresser. Why look after bub . I clean house for her and husband. I told my best friend I just call I be there .
I have varying opinions on this…having been across the board (worked while ex stayed home. Single parent. Both me and current husband worked. SAHM. Briefly both of us home) but I do believe in conflict resolution.
So rather than telling you to fly off the handle or be retaliatory here’s a few things to think about:
- I know it’s incredibly hard to see past your hard.
But I’d take a second to look at and think his hard.
I’m not sure what kind of job he does…and I know that’s a factor.
But if you spent 12 hours doing a physically demanding job, towing the company line, following the company rules…afraid the wrong step could land you fired and hurt your family…possibly leaving them on the streets.
Then come home to your spouse complaining about how hard their day is (when they’re spend their day at home with the baby and don’t have to toe those demanding lines)…demanding you do this, that, or the other the second you walk in the door…
How would you feel?
Would you be receptive? Or resentful? Would you feel as though your feelings didn’t matter? As though your contributions didn’t matter? As though you didn’t matter?
I fully believe that you both need to try to see from one another’s perspective and empathize with the others place.
But it’s hard to expect him to do that for you if you can’t do it for him.
And since I’m not giving advice to him…I’m giving it to you. I’m telling you to empathize (I’d have the same exact advice for him BTW). Once you’ve really heard him. Sit him down and calmly explain your side of the fence. Use words that provoke empathy rather than the kind that often trigger an argument (I feel verses you do xyz)
Second. Society tends to overlook the fact that men are every bit as human as women. They have thoughts and feelings. They can be affected psychologically by nuances and expectations -or lack of- and how they’re treated as dad’s.
And I cannot tell you how often I see women (in particular) acting as though dad only matters when he’s doing for us and doing exactly what we want them to do.
I actually had to put my foot down with the nursing staff in the hospital for doing that to my husband when the youngest was born. They completely and totally ignored and disregarded him as a parent.
Men’s feelings get discounted. Their opinions get discounted. Especially when it comes to raising kids.
And I’ve seen it make them want to withdraw.
They’re “not supposed” to disagree…so their opinions on things get shelved and they eventually withdraw.
My advice here is to start involving him. Ask his opinion on things. Ask him how he feels about this parenting thing or that parenting thing. Help him build a bond with baby. Video call while he’s at work if you can. Send him pictures. Keep him updated.
And let him know how much you appreciate the things he does do (like I know we’re not “supposed” to say thank you for people doing things they’re supposed to, but that appreciation often times sparks the interest and desire to do more because if feels good to be recognized)
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“Handed him the baby to calm down.” I stopped there and did not read any fruther.
How about trying this.
Full belly
Fresh new dry butt
Clean clothes
Baby Swing.
This allows you tobe able to move freely alittle bit,bathroom, kitchen and she is safe and secure in the swing. Keep checking on her, babys love to swing.
Give him the baby and grab your keys and leave. He will figure it out like u had too:heart:
They play dumb so they don’t have to do anything 
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You slap him across his fucking face and tell him to get his head out of his ass. Step up or step OUT mfer
Do you have a family or friends that can help out for couple hours a week. My sister in laws and cousins and i would help with each others kids to give us breaks. Weither it was for them to go shopping or date nights
Tell him! If he can’t handle being a father and a good husband then boot his ass. Sounds like my ex it will only get worst …
He should be helping 50/50 with the child’s needs when he is at home . I have no sympathy for him. I work 12.5 hour days and come home and take care of my child by myself. He has no excuses not to help you. He gets free time when the baby is in bed
If you’re depressed and moody, please get checked for PPD, ASAP.
Maybe have hubs go with to the Dr if you want him to hear from a professional that Daddys can be and are so helpful in the early stages. When they are tiny, they are still creating bonds with their “people”
Next time he gets home be ready to go somewhere and wait until he is playing a game and then place her is his arms and just leave. Say I’ll be back in a few! And don’t look back just keep going. And then do what you need for you for an hour and then go back home.
If he gets mad tell him that he is her father and he can help out just as much in the beginning as he can in the next few years. Yeah he can’t breastfeed her from his own boobs but that’s it. They literally make strap on boobs.
It’s a a sneaky way of getting out of all the parenting until they are “Fun” and 2.
He helped make her and he can help with her. I don’t care how long he works. He had a baby so now it’s time to step up and be a dad and quit forcing a mother to do EVERYTHING alone when he has perfectly capable hands.
Also if he is mean hide his power cords to his gaming consoles in your daughters room. Can’t play if it doesn’t turn on and won’t find them if he never spends time with her.
Sounds like you have to put your foot down. Give him thr baby and take the keys and leave. Make him spend time with her he won’t have a choice if your not there.
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After working a 12hr day he NEEDS wind down time as well. Yall need to find a hapy medium. I’ve been a stay at home mom and a working mom… staying home was hands down way easier (for me) than working. You want down time (which uou could be taking during baby nap times) and he wants down time after working 12 hours with one hour break if he is lucky. Think about his day as well as yours.
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My ex husband did the same thing.
My current husband who works MUCH longer hours with a physically demanding job, ALWAYS helped with our son even when he was exhausted. Even if it was for me to take a shower or go for a walk. He was always there if I needed him to just let me have a break. My son is now 3 and he still does this to this day.
Everyone is going to give you their own opinions on YOUR situation, but the only one who can make the decision to be upset about it or not and do something to attempt to change it is you.
Honestly, it’s a lame ass excuse. Your body just went through something hard and now your hormones are JACKED TF UP, you need a break. This is exactly why it takes a village to raise a child. Make sure your needs are met doll, mental health is a struggle already and now you have a baby in the mix, work on you. If he won’t help with the baby, when the baby sleeps try and just take a break, pace yourself, etc. We are strong Mommas. You got this!
Tell him he needs to help out when he’s home. It’s his house and his kid also, he doesn’t get to stop working just because his work day ends. He can do everything with his child that you do except maybe feeding if breastfed. If not then he can do feedings also. Tell him to stop listening to other people.
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My husband works and would wake up at night even when I was a stay at home mom… there isn’t any excuse and for people to say that you need to communicate and express to him that it might be causing you PPD which you should speak to the doctor about also he can go through it as well… if he doesn’t care about the house being spotless relax with baby and sit down watch tv or nap with baby try different ways to cope… but all in all he should help out regardless of working…
When you hand her to him, walk out the door. Even if you just go around the block, leave him for more than 10 minutes. I never understood that mindset. My dad was my primary caregiver, my ex was not too bad with babies and my current was his daughter’s primary caregiver. Honestly the only thing men can’t do for the baby is nurse.
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Go see a doctor, sounds like you have PPD and that’s not something to ignore.
Just because he works 12 hours a day doesn’t mean he can’t be a father. He needs to do his part as well.
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I’m a sahm as well and my husband works. He should be able to come home and unwind without you bitching ask for an hour and on his days off he take the child part of the day. I was like this not long ago our daughter is 3 months old the more you bitch the less likely he’ll do anything and it won’t change. When he’s working take naps with your child.
Don’t give him a choice, leave the baby with him & go out
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Imo you need to communicate with him. If that doesn’t work then on his day off tell him he’s watching the baby while you go out. That’s his baby too and he needs to learn how to take care of her just like you’re having to do.
Also, please go see a doctor about ppd.
I’m honestly curious what you’re doing all day with a 3 month old? They eat, sleep and poop. The house can’t be thrashed since baby is just a baby and it’s only you in the house all day. Let your husband relax after working all day. Give it a year when baby is up and active then you can complain.
Put baby in daycare and go back to work, that way he doesn’t have that “I work 12 hours to provide” as an excuse. Then you’ll have that same excuse to go out and have time for yourself.
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Your hubby works 12 hours a day. He needs a break too. My mom raised 4 kids with zero help from my dad cause he worked all. Would leave before we woke up and come home just before bedtime.
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I get a baby sitter twice a week wether my wife works regular over overtime. You need time for you and you need time for him as well. Self care is the most important thing and you cannot thrive if you’re just trying to survive. Set aside time for him and just the baby. Even if it’s just a half hour day. I now know my oldests dad was just uncomfortable and never had to deal with a baby so being left alone with an infant was terrifying for him.
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You definitely need to speak to a doctor about your PPD.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. A question I have is does your husband have any substance abuse issues.? drinking or drugs? In some instances that could be the reason he ‘doesn’t care’ if you both are ignoring that he has a substance abuse issue than during withdrawal or him being drunk he won’t feel inclined to help or see the severity of your needs. It is unacceptable that your Husband will not fill his roll as a father. You’re right, you work just as hard and any human in their right mind knows a babies scream can be so triggering. Please seek help.
Did you say your husband works 12 hours providing for you? 
did i read that right? A week?
Good luck bc mine says he will then dont
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12 hours is a long day. Maybe you couks get a job and both ya work 8 hour days and then both take care of baby. Im Sure he would feel better about helping also. Babies sleep alot at that age so you ahould have plenty of time for some alone down time. I wish I coukd have had someone provide for me and my kids when they were young. Be thankful…
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Is he a 15 year old boy?? Hide or sell the game system that’s where all the family time is going.
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Put her down let her learn to entertain herself she don’t need held all time. Got a playpen they’re great
Get job out side the home hell have to help
He worked all day but so do you. when do you, as a SAHM, get a break?! People seem to forget that being a SAHM is an all day thing as well… even after the kids go to bed. We are still humans who deserve to feel appreciated and have time to relax as well. I’m so sick of the “He worked all day” argument. It’s very important for a father to be involved with the children as well… even at 3 months old. He can change diapers, feed the baby, help with laundry, hold baby when baby needs held, play with baby, ect. He could also help with house chores.
Ladies, you don’t need to settle for a man who does the bare minimum. There’s men out here who will GLADLY help his woman with the house work and be involved with the children.
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Your hubby works 12 hours!!! And you want him to help with the baby? The man needs a break!!!
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I was a stay at home mom of two until my son started kindergarten this year. Wether he works 5 hours or 12, us mom’s need breaks too. Self care is super important, wether it’s a hot bath to relax by yourself or a grocery trip alone. Good luck mamas and remember to take care of you as well! 
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Good lord. You would have jumped off of a building if you lived my life. I went 11 years with no break from my kids. I didn’t have a babysitter or any family that could or would help.
Since when is it okay for a woman to work all day and then come home and take care of kids but if it’s a man, “he needs a break.” Gtfoh with that old time shit.
Get a job and take the child to day care that way you can have some peace of mind and maybe even take a day for your self going back to work always helped me with post partum I’ve heard many woman say this guy’s don’t really help much when it comes to the kids unfortunately not all guys but
Yeah that’s how my ex husband was. He CAN do things. He chooses not to. 12 hours is a long day at work but 24 HOURS is a long day at home especially when you get no break, no time to yourself, no adult interaction. I was YOU. Never again. Y’all need to sit down and have a conversation about this for a while. Because it won’t get any better as she gets older.
My husband works crazy hours as well. When he gets home let him do whatever he does (bathroom change etc) hand him baby and go on a walk by yourself, fresh air and exercise help the mind.