So I’m a new mom, my daughter just turned 3 months today. I’m a stay home mom my husband works 12 hours providing for us. And I’m at home taking care of the house.His thing is because he heard it from other people. That right now in this stage he can’t do much with the baby, and I keep telling him I know you work all day, so do I, but please take our daughter so I can calm down, do a few things, stuff like that. He only holds her for a minute or two and hands her right back to me.
I’m depressed all the time, I’m moody so changing all the time. I haven’t had a great break in 3 months, and he gets to come home and play his games and then go to bed.
Yes I know he worked all day and he’s
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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I get my husband to help out more around the house or even with our daughter,?
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There’s plenty he can do. He can change diapers, he can do tummy time, if baby is bottlefed he can feed baby, he can put baby down for nap, he can read baby stories, he can do one on one time with baby. Tell him to stop making up excuses and be a parent. Help out around house while baby naps/sleeps. Working is no excuse to not do sh*t.
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A lot of men are this way unfortunately and usually it doesn’t get better. I’m really sorry your experiencing this and I hope you can get through to him
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Put the baby down in a bouncy seat next to him and go take some time for yourself. He’s not going to leave the baby crying if she’s next to him and your nowhere to be found. Go take a shower and a break, if she cries he will deal with it. She doesn’t need to be held 24/7 and you need the break too. After working 12 hrs a day, he wants some time to calm down and be alone too. Men have a harder time adjusting to new little ones, give it some time. My best advice though is to just leave her in the room with him so she’s supervised and you get a break. Once you can give yourself that time you’ll be able to think more clearly and not resent him so much for having more time to himself then you. It’s called compromising, be thankful you get to be with your baby 24/7 and not have to work.
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My ex did the same damn thing and now that we’re separated, in his affidavit it he said he did all the work. See this as the red flag that it is, honey.
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Isn’t that the $1 million question? If you ever figure it out, do let the rest of us know.
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Honestly some men are like this and don’t change 
like the above stated put her in a chair and have some time alone
I hear ya hun I’m in the same boat in my man’s eyes I have to do it all myself
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All’s you have to do is say keep an eye on the baby I’ll be right back. Then you get in your car and you leave until you feel like coming back.
Yeah nope hand him his child and go take a shower 
!!! Lock the door if you have to he’s isn’t baby sitting that’s his kid to !!
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You mentioned depression. Have you been to the doctor and checked for post party’s depression?
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Hun please please seek help for yourself an mental health .
Back when my daughter was born I was left no help no sleep no breaks it was dark an scary an everytime I asked for help or a break I would get a 2hours max once a week .
If your partner doesn’t help with this it’s 100% better for your mind if you walk away from him .
Some how it gets easier when u are not exspecting a grown ass adult to wake up an actually help you .
Set goals for yourself think about what you want for you that day an try to make a plan for it .
Leave his chores (his clothing meals etc )
Make goals just for you an bub .
When bub is asleep it is ok not to clean take mind time for yourself .
YOU ARE IMPORTANT YOU DESERVE A BREAK .YOU ARE ALLOWED TO PUT YOU FIRST 
.
hope things get better for you hang in there take care of yourself
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LADIES get in the fuckin car and leave!! Oh you don’t have a car? Walk off the property and keep walking!!
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Get him to sit an give her a feed, cuddle, bond, change a bum or just PLAY with her 
There is more he can do that helps take the strain off you and really isn’t much on his part.
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Try more then one child…you get time out when baby asleep…
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Why do Men still treat us like it’s 1960 and we are the house wife’s ??? I don’t get it ! Marriage and relationship are suppose to be a partnership!! But momma I’m right there with you ! Mine doesn’t even pick up after himself!!
I wish I had hopeful advice but I don’t , my youngest daughters are 3 and 4 yrs old Ans I thought it woukd get better and it hasn’t sadly enough. I’m a SAHM but let me tell you, before I became one I was a nurse and worked 16 hr shifts sometimes and staying home is 10000 times harder!!! I love it don’t get me wrong and I’m very glad to be able to , but I KNoW I work way harder than my husband does especially being he works out of town a lot Ans is sometimes gone for a week or more at a time so I’m alone , ALL alone Ans it’s hard!!! Not to mention lonely , I wish I could say when he is home it’s better but not really I still do the same things I do when I’m alone. But I don’t go for the whole just cause they work blah blah OUR mom job is harder than any , ours don’t end after a 8 or 12 hour shift we are 24/7!!!
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I get it. My fiance works midnight’s so me and my kiddo are asleep but then during the day it’s all on me while he’s sleeping. Tube feeding, getting dressed, homeschooling, changing. All of it.(yes my child is school age but special needs and delayed so still in diapers and tube fed since birth and homeschooling due to a weak immune system from being a preemie. Not safe to do in person. Thanks covid)
Time for a “come to Jesus meeting” thats what I call them… If you tell him straight up how you feel and that you resent what he is doing and he don’t make an effort to change, then it’s hopeless. You probably have postpartum. I think all moms do because we get burnt out. However, my husband was in the navy when our baby was born and some nights he did the baby shifts because I was too exhausted. If the baby was crying and needed fed in the middle of the night and I was too tired from doing it the last night I would kick him (not hard) until he woke up took care of the baby. Real dads help. I am a stay-at-home student working on my second masters waiting on my license to transfer to our state. I’ve been a sahm-student for our entire relationship. He doesn’t clean, but he makes up for it in other ways. He cooks on the weekends. He’s very active with our kids. Most nights he does the bedtime routine with our toddler. There’s nothing sexier than a 6ft tall man laying in a little twin bed reading a book to your baby. My husband works 10 hour days and drives an hour and twenty minutes both ways to work and goes to the gym in the evenings. He plays his computer games to chill, but not so much that he ignores everything. He took our little baby to get nikes and pretzels today. We do a family thing almost every weekend. Once a month he makes sure we have a date night.
I wish every person could have someone in their lives like my husband.
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Do you pump milk so he can feed the baby? Maybe start acting mad so he gets what it’s like to be home alone all day! I was very lucky because I had my eldest and she help with the baby! She would help feed her and put pacifier in mouth and talk to her when crying! She would tell the baby why are you crying can’t you see mom is cooking food for us! Let her cook the food and then she can hold you and we can play together! Act mad so your husband takes a hint to do the Damn dishes!
Sorry, it’s his kid too. He needs to do his part, and if he doesn’t start holding her and interacting with the baby, they will not form a good bond
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Me and my husband have talked about situations like this. (Neither one of us have kids together but we each have children from previous relationships and the youngest of our kids is 6 years old). My husband said that men have a fear that they will do something wrong, mess up, not be good enough, scare the baby, or accidentally hurt the baby. Men don’t have the natural motherly instinct like women. Honestly it used to only be the mothers who cared for the children for the first parts of their lives while the men worked and provided for the family and then when the kids were old enough if they were male they would spend time with dad to learn how to be a man while the girls stayed with mom and learned how to be a wife and care for the house and possibly younger siblings/family/friends. Men were not “wired” to take care of children, so yes they may seem distant. However the more you encourage them to interact the easier it is to get them to start helping. You can’t force them to do it as that will upset them. Also first child is always the hardest to get the dad to interact with because they have no clue what to do with a small helpless human. Being a new dad is like a baby learning to walk. It takes time, lots of practice, many falls, and new experiences to learn this milestone. He will get there eventually if he is not pushed and given an opportunity to adjust. ( sometimes it takes a long while for a man to grasp that they are a parent). However if you are struggling and need a break see if you can find a sitter or a daycare to help give you a break. Also if you think you are having PPD please go to the doctor and seek help 
. I promise it may seem overwhelming but it will get better.
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You will have to move the focus on you asap. Woman have done scary things to their babies in a moment of “too much”. Depression is the first step to it and a step closer to looking it. Pls get help.
I feel like alot of us are in similar boats. My husband does play with our son, but it wasn’t always like that. Try showing him how to play with him and just tell him straight forward what you want him to do with your guys’ daughter.
Divorce is the way to go. He seems like an arrogant person and if thats his outlook on watching the child he created. Leave. Child support is there and you are doing it all alone noe. Youd be just taking care of one less child…that child being him. If he wants a single life to only work then leave him do that alone. Dont chase someone who isnt fighting for you. Youll be happier in the end.
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Try getting someone or hubby to watch the baby for one hour each day. Just so you can physically leave the house. I thought that made a world of difference.
Does he work 12 hours a day or week? My partner works 10 hour shifts 5 days a week still comes home helps with housework cooks and helps with the kids that ARENT HIS his weekends off are spent dropping them off or picking them up at friends doing food shopping or other stuff that needs done. Have a word with him tell him how you feel and that he should be doing more to help x
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Hand him the baby, put your coat on and go for a walk or go run yourself a bath. You need your own time too, my ex was the exact same!
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So let me get this straight he works 12 hours a day yes he should be able to take her for like 20 mins but really I see people in here saying men treat women like it 1960 but yall want to stay home and not work right and take care of the kids well if yall want to stay home and be house wife then expect to be treated like that u have one 3 month old I habe a 6 year old a 3 year old autistic child and a 6 month old all boys so really u need to talk to ur doctor u have post party depression it’s not his fault and so don’t make him feel guilty but for God sack appreciate that man for working 12 hours and allowing u to be home and they with ur daughter alot of moms wish they could be u
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His child and home aswel. When I had my youngest,who I breastfed,my partner (who works too) would just help around the house,take care of the our oldest. Take the baby when he needed a chance ect.
Even to this day, every morning before he leaves for work he will have all put out for me the morning like breakfast & lunch boxes,my coffee ect. Have the oldest dressed at least before he legs it out to work. When he comes home,he has a little time with the kids before he helps me with bedtime routine. Now I can phrase him ect but no they are his kids and home to look after aswel. But I do appreciate him as a parent and the team work we put into raising our kids and lifestyle together
You have to really sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel. Only then will you know what kinda man he will be. If he doesn’t change then he will never.
Sorry to hear how stressful things have been for you 
things are still fresh and I say let the house work not be 100% at the moment. Firstly I would say if you feel mentally different then usual then go to your gp. NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED ABOUT,DO YOU HEAR ME! then make tiny moments for yourself like a bath,quick power nap when baby sleeps. It’s still early days and your just exhausted
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Sounds like you’re a mom. Dad’s don’t kick in until the kid can do most things by themselves. They tend to be scared of breaking the baby even if they won’t admit it.
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It takes team work. Communicate your feelings to him. let him know you feel like you need his help. Make sure you show him appreciation for what he does do. don’t make him feel like he doesn’t do enough, avoid rants and throwing everything you dealt with all day in his face. It will just create resentments. you both worked hard all day, but the work is not done, so when he gets home try doing the remaining work together. Put baby in safe place, fold laundry, make dinner or whatever together. You get done quicker, allowing time to do something relaxing. Try taking a shower/ bath together, give each other a massage and talk. Cuddle, read to the baby together. You’re getting things done, giving each other and your relationship attention, bonding as a family, benefitting everyone!
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So first off being a SAHM does not mean you’re a slave to the job I feel a couple of ladies on here said that like you made your choice SAHM be grateful lmfao anyways sad for them. So hubby works a lot most husbands do my husband climbs telephone polls and down man holes daily also works nightshifts right after day shifts for traffic controlled areas. Our daughter will be 3 in Jan and a newborn will be here in 10 weeks. He still takes his spare time to spend with our daughter or to get things done around the house mainly because I’m high risk and have preeclampsia and can’t really do the big jobs around the house right now. He’s stepped up and took control grass isn’t mowed or no yard work is really kept up but he’s taken over on my duties as a stay at home momma which is freaking fantastic. He’s never been the guy who’s made it gender rolls on jobs he just can’t cook anything not even a grilled cheese he burns it all lol 
but he sees it as a equal we’re a team. I worked before I was pregnant and there isn’t much of a difference on how he helped with house chores and our daughter. Some men are built to have open minds and don’t care what people think and some are built to where they have to uphold the man thing and care what other men think. Depends on your husband what did he do for you and the house before baby was here ?! Did you work before ?! Does he see you as a teammate or someone he has to take care of financially?! A lot of these things you need to ask to make sure what page your on if you don’t already know instinctively. It’s good to get your feelings out there in the open. If you’re tired and exhausted and just need a moment he needs to understand that not one person should get a break over the other because one pays the bills. The first 3 months are probably the hardest with a newborn but it does get easier so he needs to find a way to bond with baby even if he’s gaming he can have baby lay next to him or on a boppy in his lap while he’s gaming while you shower or go outside with a glass of wine your choice what to do for a few moments. You need to open up and talk that’s what makes a healthy relationship. You’re doing a lot to being a SAHM is a lot of work but some of that stress should be helped out on bad days especially so talk about it what you’d like him to do to help out if he can just sit in the room with the baby while he’s gaming or if he can take out trash or laundry every other night so you have a few extra minutes also having a messy house is ok to clean once a week if ok to remember your time is to focus on you and baby especially if it’s your first. Remind him he doesn’t have to hold baby to bond being in the same are usually bonding rocking them in the rocker watching them in the swing that’s all bonding just being present is awesome so he needs to learn and so do you communicate it doesn’t have to be this stressful life you can make it comfortable by just talking but if he doesn’t listen or isn’t concerned about your well being then that’s a whole other problem !! Communicate !!!
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I am so sorry you get no help from the father sometime they feel that they go out everyday work and bring the money home that is all they need to do. I hope he helps you but he probably won’t. I have been a single mother a long time there Dad was around when they were babies then when they became 3 and 4 we were on are own. He never helped when they were babies I paid the rent the bills and all the food babies things and clothes he was not good to me. His money was for him. Needless to say I got divorced.
Working 12 hours a day DOES NOT compare to working 24/7 no break or time to yourself.
My father did the same thing to my mother. Man is my mother smart. She had 4 kids under 4 years of age and she couldn’t take it anymore my father not even helping with anything. So she woke up early one morning, packed up the youngest and left the 3 oldest with my father. When my dad woke up he found her note, which is summarized, you leave everything to me, cooking, cleaning, laundry and your 4 kids 3 in diapers and no help. Well Mr Gillis let’s see how well you do by yourself. I need you to feed the kids, wash the dishes launder the clothes and diapers pick up the toys, dust, sweep, mop and vacuum. When you feed the kids you are not allowed to call my mother ( he did this frequently as my grandmother adored my father and did everything for him ) for help. When I come back I expect a clean house and dinner on the table, don’t forget dessert.
My father didn’t believe my mother did this, he thought it was a practical joke she had to be at the neighbors house so he watched the window looking for her as my siblings woke up he kept telling them, “mommy will be back soon to change and feed you”. After an hour of watching and waiting for my mother to come back 3 screaming children that all needed to be fed and changed and several calls to neighbors and my grandmother looking for my mom without success, my father started to feed my siblings and change them. He read the note several times and was determined to not do this list. Then he remembered what my mother told him before they got married, she said " if I marry you these are my conditions
1 no drinking, if you ever drink I’ll pack myself and all our kids up and leave you
2 when and if we have kids you have to help. That means cooking, cleaning, laundry and helping with the kid(s)
3 when I’m ready I’m going back to school and I’ll need extra support
Keep in mind, this was back in the day where women were still considered nothinging more than housewives and their role was to completely and utterly serve the husband. Hmf 
.
Now I know you wouldn’t consider leaving a newborn only being 3 months old so here’s my suggestion. Only take care of yours and the babies NEEDS. This means feed, bathe, and clean yourself and baby. Don’t do the dishes, don’t vacuum, don’t dust, don’t do laundry. Don’t make him a meal, do his laundry or cleanup after him at all. If he asks why tell him you’re already taking care of a baby full time and don’t need or want to do it for a manchild. If he complains tell him you can and will go somewhere where you’ll actually get help. You need rest and time to yourself, even if it’s only an hour a day you need it and he needs to know this. Some might suspect that your depression is post parttum and it isn’t as those symptoms are more severe. Your depression comes from exhaustion and he needs to know that. I know it may not seem like it right now but you’ll get through this. I’m raising my daughter by myself without help and when she was a baby I remember how exhausted I was but I can tell you this, everything my daughter is, she is because of me and not her father.
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You both need couples therapy. Being a parent is 24/7 he needs to step up.
Teach him how to feed change and play with the baby. Yes some people need taught.
You both work hard.
It sounds like you have a manchild on your hands.
Ugh, he can’t breastfeed he can do everything else
A lot of guys are afraid with them being so small something will happen to them.
You can not make a man do anything. If you’ve communicated how you feel and he still doesn’t do anything about it then he never will. That’s just who and how he is. You either need to find a way to accept that or leave and do it on on your own like you already are but at least at peace knowing your the only one being counted on.
Get used to it or leave
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Don’t understand adult men who play video games, big red flag for me.
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Food for thought. Sit him down an talk to him. Even if you’ve already done that do it again. DIVORCE is NOT the answer. Your a new mom your tired, hes tired. Has he ever been around babies before? Does he need to be taught how to do things for her? Explain how you feel to him while the baby is taking a nap and yall can really talk. But for the sake of all that is holy do not listen to people telling you, you need a divorce. Having a new baby is hard at any age, in any relationship and everything isn’t going to always be how we want it too. I hope you figure it 
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So have the baby fed and changed when he comes home, place the baby in the swing or playpen and tell him to get her if she cry’s. Then go… take a shower , go to the store… seriously just do it .
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I know the feeling hun. It’s very valid feelings. Try talking 2 him first and explain what he can do 2 help out. The baby smells fear so the baby will act up if he does. they feed off human emotions. Furthermore when being held and taken care of that creates a better bond for the 2 of them. Just because he works all day doesn’t mean his responsibilities stop at the door. He created the child too. Yes he works and needs his sleep but there are several hours between work and bed that he can be helping… Stay at home parents do just as much work if not more on the home front. U deserve a break too don’t let anyone tell u any different. 3 months are hard because u still have hormonal embalance issues which doesn’t help. Maybe get some counseling 2 help with the way u feel so atleast someone is listening 2 u. Mine never has and thats a big reason we are getting divorced. Besides the fact that he’s lazy, plays games or sits on his ass all day, or is out blowing money we don’t have. U deserve for ur feelings 2 be heard too. Just because ur mom doesn’t mean u should take abuse. U can’t take care of the kids unless u are at 100%. It only leads 2 resentment. Good luck and I hope things get better 4 u.
This was me… my son is a year old tomorrow and I’m still struggling with this. I usually just go out of the room or just take longer going back to him
It’s not going to change so you need to get over it and used to it or You need to do what’s best for you.
My grandma got so fed up with this same thing. So after my grandpa made the remark that she doesn’t do anything all day. She said she made sure the kids were fed and changed but she let the three kids basically do whatever they wanted. He came home to the house totally trashed, no dinner was made, no chores was done. And he asked her what she did all day and her response was, “not a damn thing”. He learned real fast after that.
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It gets better when they go to school, trust me. Deal with it now and then in a few years you’ll gain day freedom. It’s the best. 
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Go have a moms night leave him With the baby So he can see how much work it is
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My husband did this. So I really stopped doing anything but meeting our sons basic needs. He got sick of having to get McDonald’s for dinner and not having clean clothes for work really fast and started pitching in
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omg he works 12 hours a day. you have one baby, I cant believe you dont have time for yourself!!!
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Home is work for both kids included ! Its not easy being a sahm and were rarely compensated 
At 3 mo your baby is at the easy stage. They should be sleeping most of the time. I have a 3 yo and a 7 mo. Put baby in swing or rocker near him stop asking him just do. He needs to learn real quick to be a dad and have a family. With kids it all changes !
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I certainly understand your husband . For most man little babies are no fun. Fine a play grow for women at YMCA or other places .you need to meet women who are like you. Make sure he continues to hold the baby but don’t be too demanding. My husband us in school for five years, I had three children at that time. If it wasn’t for my friends I don’t know how I would have survived. When she is a little older you can take her to swimming and other activities. Just hang in Theresa James
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Having a newborn is a job in its self. I totally understand how you feel. My 1st born: had a csection he stayed for delivery and then left. I stayed 3 days in the hospital by myself. Once home he never wanted to help. He was a jealous man over his own baby. Ikr! Needless to say i divorced him 2 years later. It was just too much for me. But not helping with our son was not my reason for the divorce. My now husband of 16yrs is so helpful with our 3 girls. When they were born he stayed home with me for the 1st 2mths after they were born. My 1st born passed at 2mths and 10 day old. So once my babies made it passed that age i was fine. They are now 14 13 and almost 12. I still cannot wake then up bc im afraid i won’t find them breathing. Its a nightmare for me. Its been 19 yrs since he passed. Just cherish your babies.
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My boyfriend was like this at first and wasn’t even working that much at the time lol. I eventually just started leaving the baby with him and not giving him the choice. My doctor recommended I did that aswell. He was kind of annoyed the first few times, but, it did really help them bond and he is such a great dad now!! I know it doesn’t work like that for everyone, but it did help us.
I think alot of m*n are just scared and don’t know what to do with a newborn.
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Fun fact having a job doesn’t magically make his other responsibilities dissappear. 
. If he doesn’t wanna listen to you asking for a break, then just do everything you normally do (clean, cook dinner, ect…) and then just hand him his own child and tell him ur gonna go take a break…if this doesn’t work out then there’s always phase 2, where you just stop doing everything but taking care of baby. When he mentions it say “u said I do nothing, so I did just tht. I clearly can’t do anything else because I’m responsible for this baby and we all know we can only be responsible for 1 thing according to you sir.”
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I’m sorry but I would throw the whole boy away and get myself a man. My husband works 16 hour days 7 days in a row then has 7 off. On his work days he walks in and I hand him the baby once he gets all his work gear off to eat and shower uninterrupted. He loves holding her every day. He will even do her bath and let me lay in bed if on day shifts and if on night shifts he lets me take a nap before leaving for the night. I am also a SAHM and he knows how much I get done so he would never fake incompetence to get out of his responsibility. I don’t know where your guy gets his advice from but it seems to be from other boys not real men.
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Wow 
glad my husband loves our daughter and I never had to ask, it was always a competition on who’s turn it was with the baby. We took turns being stay at home parents too lmao.
Hand him the baby and say “Thanks for the little break daddy” and walk away.
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You need time for yourself a stay at home mother is a harder job then whatever he’s doing for 12 hours. It’s physically and mentally and emotionally draining. Kids can take so much out of you and men really don’t understand how terrible postpartum depression can be. If you have to drag him with you so a Dr can tell him how serious it is you drag him. He needs to help you even if it’s just setting the baby in a swing while he plays his game so you can shower and relax for a while. There’s no reason and no excuse for him not to spend time with your baby.
Working 12 hours a day isn’t an excuse for him to NOT help out with HIS child. I’ve dealt with this and still am. And I get some woman are okay with their husbands acting like that, but stay at home mom work NONSTOP. We don’t get breaks. And if we try to take one, we get told we’re bad moms for NOT spending time with our kids, while dads do it ALL THE TIME. Mu advice: tell him to start helping with the child HE helped make, or you find a job, find someone you both can afford to watch your daughter, and if he doesn’t change, leave. Been dealing with this for 8 years and we aren’t even together anymore. Kids come before video games.
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If he doesn’t have to work all day, neither do you. Why would one of you work 24/7, but not the other? Taking care of a baby and the house is exhausting, and you deserve breaks. He should also be trying to spend as much time as he can to bond with the baby. If he doesn’t change this now, the baby will turn into a toddler who won’t let Daddy do anything, and then it will be more of an excuse and a frustration. He should absolutely help you when he gets home. Have him watch her for a day over the weekend and see if he realizes how exhausting it is. Either way, you 100% deserve a break.
And before anyone tells you otherwise, yes, husbands and Dads do this all the time. It’s not “just a man thing” and you don’t have to deal with it. My husband helped a ton and spent as much off time as he could with our baby when he was home. Never once did he act like it wasn’t his job or he was too tired, even after working all day. He saw how tired and stressed I was and he immediately jumped in. As he would say it "you’re my number one - I need to make sure you are doing okay. And he meant it.
You deserve a partner, and your baby deserves her other parent to be involved.
Honestly I gave my husband a time limit. And I was very specific.
I’m feeling overwhelmed and I need a half an hour to myself.
I literally woke him up in the middle of the night to watch our son when he was 4 months old and told him I needed 10 minutes or I was going to have a panic attack.
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Choose your baby daddy wisely next time🤔
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I don’t understand how some dads can be like this. My husband LOVED helping with our baby even with him working 12-14 hours a day. I would suggest some marriage counseling for you two hopefully that could help you two reason with eachother
I actually left my ex husband for this. Considering when I started working, he would put the baby in her swing or bouncer fall asleep and not wake up to her crying. To the point that my sister and brother in law would have to go get her and take care of her. And considering he didn’t work or do any house work, I got sick and tired of it and left.
Just wow! Really he should be using this valuable time to bond with the baby. He can alternate night with you. And help clean on his days off. The game has to go. I personally would’ve have smashed that thing. But on a serious note you both need to have a serious conversation
Hand him the baby grab your keys walk out and say I’ll be back later