How do I get my husband to help out more around the house or even with our daughter,?

So I’m a new mom, my daughter just turned 3 months today. I’m a stay home mom my husband works 12 hours providing for us. And I’m at home taking care of the house.His thing is because he heard it from other people. That right now in this stage he can’t do much with the baby, and I keep telling him I know you work all day, so do I, but please take our daughter so I can calm down, do a few things, stuff like that. He only holds her for a minute or two and hands her right back to me.
I’m depressed all the time, I’m moody so changing all the time. I haven’t had a great break in 3 months, and he gets to come home and play his games and then go to bed.
Yes I know he worked all day and he’s


Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I get my husband to help out more around the house or even with our daughter,?

12 hour days are exhausting. Yes, you are busy all day but you can take a break, sit down to feed the baby and take a nap when she sleeps. Give the guy a break! If he works 12 hour days 5 days a week, he is doing more than his share. You sound self centered.


Him working all day is NOT an excuse not to be a parent whatsoever. Duh you’re going to be tired but don’t have kids if you’re not ready to put your all into kids. And there is PLENTY he can do to help. He can change diapers, feedings (if she’s on bottles) help with nap time, or just play with her for a few just so you can rest. Remind him he helped you make this baby which means he puts in just as much effort as you. And working is the dumbest and laziest excuse one can give to not be involved with their children.


i told him if i wanted to do everything by myself i’d be a single mom, i packed my shit twice before he got the picture and started helping out


He needs to wake up and realize he’s a parent…everyday…all day!
Theres no excuse for him not to spend time bonding with his child. The idea there just not that much he can do with her is crap! He needs to talk to her…sing to her…feed her…bathe her…rock her…read to her even at 3 months etc…
Basically be a parent…you dont get to decide that you’ll jump in at whatever stage of life your kid is in if it suits you.
Good luck and take care of yourself.


Be very specific about what you want him to do. Tell him exactly. He may just not know what to do. He is a new dad too. Lots of love and I hope things get better. Don’t fight post partum depression alone.


You may have post partum and really need his help


I’m in your position. O cook clean do laundry. He has another daughter from a previous relationship. She’s 12 He doesn’t even make her do any chores. I cut grass. I painted every room in our house. After dinner I clean everything up. I have the baby 24/7 if he takes her as soon as she cries or fusses I have to take her right back

1 Like

12 hour days are extremely long, I don’t blame him. On his days off it’s a different story but I wouldn’t expect much after working that long.


I would talk to your doctor about your depression and yes he needs to help out with the baby. Ask him to watch her while you get a shower and give some you time before he hops on his game. I would sit him down and explain how your feeling and that you need his help. Praying things get better for you.

I would talk to him about what your thoughts are because maybe he isn’t quite aware and letting him know you need some time to do stuff as well

O was there myself a few months ago. My husband works 12 hours

I was in your same position. Turns out I had post partum…with no help from him. :sleepy:
My lesson learned…reach out to family or friends to come help during the day or even at night…to give you just a few hours of sleep, time alone or so you can do other chores. You’re not intruding… they would LOVE to come take care of a baby. Or drop her at their House.
Since he chooses not to help…he shouldn’t argue this resolution. Please do it for yourself!! You need it. Good luck :blush:


Lots of things he can do with her. Talk and read to her. Hold her etc.

1 Like

I have 3 kids and worked several jobs with each. I loved this stage because their needs were very basic and if you put them down they were still where you put them. :wink: That being said try to incorporate your downtime with baby’s sleep/nap schedule. If he’s busy playing games after work put baby in a bouncer in the room with him and say he’s gets some bonding time while you take a bath, prepare dinner, do dishes, etc. Let him know that it’s important he has bonding time so she can see his face, hear his voice and connect with him too.


Get you a job 12 hours a day 5 days a week tell your husband to stay at home and take care of the Children and house. See if that works for you.


Honestly if I was a SAHM and my husband worked 12 hours a day in no way would I ask him to do the house work. Make it work mom. Get the chores done so you can spend that quality time together rather than worrying or nagging about chores. I’ve raised two kids and have learned this as I’ve grown older. On the weekends have him bath and feed the baby. Men are wired differently than women. Don’t get to bent out of shape. Do the best you can.


A friend of mine told me this a long time ago…tell him he looks sexy when he’s washing the dishes or doing laundry and it turns you on :slightly_smiling_face:

1 Like

Just tell him he needs to help with his daughter, he helped make her so he can help raise her. If he don’t want to help well stop cooking and cleaning for him. If he asks what happened tell him he don’t help you not doing nothing for him

Today society women can’t handle the same motherly responsibility’s that our mothers or grandmother’s did. Mothers are all in all lazy anymore. I’m sure this one will cheat and find a replacement before the years over haha. Poor guy.


Okay his games in his recliner? Perfect time for baby to take a nap on his chest,
He wakes he makes dinner

1 Like

Sometimes that’s the way the cookie crumble…all you can do is pray, talk to him or move around and not be with him since you doing it alone…hopefully he has a change of heart.

i am home all day with my babies 19 months and 7 months amd my hubby evenn though hes worked all day , will come home help, wether its finishibg dinner, cleaning up the kitchen, entertaining our 19 month old so i can eat and feed 7 month old, he does the bath time AND puts our 19 month old down to bed, he calls it his “kay time” which i really need as our 7 month old takes quite a while to put down to bed. he even soaks and washes the bottles Every night. its not until after our oldest is asleep that he plays games. and if i need him to watch our yougest he’s good for that. 3 months can be a challenge for the dad to bond with baby but its not impossible, there is so much he can do, he can make faces, get downnonnthe floor, dontummy time on his belly, offer a soother, a teether or his finger, walk around with baby sing etc!

Perhaps enroll baby in a daycare for a few hours a week, join a mothers club with your church, trade baby sitting with a friend, hire a sitter and get out. You sound very lonely.

1 Like

I’m honestly shocked at some of the responses on how she should just suck it up!!! Whaaatttt!!! Where is your compassion? Please sit down with your husband and explain your needs. Y’all need to work together. Your time is very important as you are just learning how to be a mom. It sounds like he maybe didn’t have a good role model in his father. We aren’t all hard wired to be natural parents and for some it’s a real struggle and we all need help. Do it together. If he’s playing his video games, place baby in a bouncy seat next to him and fix yourself a cup of tea and go have a nice bubble bath and let him parent while you enjoy your time. He’ll survive. You need to find time for yourself or else you will always be miserable and your mental health will suffer. Find time to go out on dates, even if it’s just to a book store or to grab dessert and a coffee. Take baby if you have to, but enjoy each other outside of the home… The home can become your trap so get out once and awhile

:pray::revolving_hearts::kissing_heart: Holy Spirit, Thank You for helping, teaching them how to be Great Parents and Great Mates

It sounds to me you have post partum depression. Go see your doctor and tell him/her about your depression and mood swings. You may need some medication to stabilize your emotions.

I did it all and worked too really with 2 Kids.

He needs to be a dad. Idgaf if he worked all day. He should take his daughter so u can get some mommy alone time. I stay home but my man who works outside still helps me. He was raised not be a man-child, but to help care for his home too.

You need to have a sit down and have a conversation with him talk about what you expect from him what expects from you and go from there

1 Like

Call his mother to come spend a couple days.

If it’s one 3 mth old, how much can there be to do???

See your dr about your depression. Tell your husband flat out be a dad or don’t and then leave his ass if he won’t, you’re doing it by yourself anyway.

1 Like

Dump his no good ass

1 Like

Confused, he comes home and play’s his games instead of bonding with his child .

I was a stay at home Mom in the 60’s. Mine were 2 yrs. apart. When my husband got home we ate supper and then he took the kids to visit his Mom for a little while . I really needed that little break from them. Very fortunate that she lived close by.