How do I get my son to stop "treasure hunting" when my husband doesn't have my back?

My husband thinks I am over reacting to my son bringing home random items he finds. At our old home I felt safe about it because it was usually nature stuff. But we have since moved to a shady neighborhood apartment building in another town. Everything he brings home now is literal garage or dangerous. He once brought home a vape! I want to put an end to his treasure hunting after I tripped and fell on some questionable tubing he collected. But my husband is telling me that I am being a b*&&*. I expressed to him my concerns but he brushed them off. Since he has a history of over riding my decisions I told him if he takes that damn tube out of the trash I will personally take all of my son's toys to Good Will tomorrow. I don't mean it but it made him stop and actually listen to me for once. Ffs we don't even know where that tube has been! For all we know it's been up someone's butt for crying out loud. How do I get my son to stop "treasure hunting" when my husband doesn't have my back?
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look into geocaching- it’s using gos coordinates to find treasures (aka caches). getting him involved in this as a family might get him to stop doing it on his own. it’ll allow you guys to be interested and participate in an activity with him, let you guys explore local parks, and it’s educational!

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I get my son to stop "treasure hunting" when my husband doesn't have my back? - Mamas Uncut

Maybe teach your son what is ok to collect and what isn’t ok! Teach him the difference between safe items and what you should leave and not touch just in case

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Give him ideas ,maybe just chance the type of treasure

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How old is your son?
Can you explain to him why he can’t be doing that?
Kids are way smarter than we think they are:) I have no advice for your husband since I feel like he should understand why it isn’t safe…

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Why is he out and about in a shady neighborhood apartment complex alone to begin with? Why is no one supervising him?

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Create a safe “treasure hunt” for him. Paint rocks or other objects specifically for him to find

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He’s a kid. Kids do this. My rule has always been that treasures stay outside & you wash your hands. I feel your pain. My kids have found condoms & needles. Those were taken more seriously. I explained that they’re dangerous & unhealthy. I took him to the Dr over the syringe. Never picked another 1 up.

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I wouldn’t call this treasure hunting……he’s literally out picking up trash and playing with things he shouldn’t.

Make your own scavenger hunt for him :blush:.

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Sign him up online for geocache

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Redirect the treasure hunting. Perhaps let him have a camera so he can take pics instead

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Make a list for him treasures he can collect

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He can treasure hunt in your yard, a decent park or designated places. Give him m a bucket. Encourages man didn’t make thing. He empties and talks about each item.
Tell him what not to pick up by showing him what is dangerous. See not touch Explain

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You’re over reacting. Just teach your kid what not to pick up… lighters, syringes, broken glass, etc. He will live. My son went thru this faze too.

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Tell him it could make him sick …see how funny the father thinks it is with a dirty needle

How old is your son?
Have you tried talking to him about “safe treasures” and “not safe treasures”
This way you’re not stopping his imagination and excitement of finding something he’s excited about, but limiting what he can find and bring home

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Buy a wooden chest and do it up as a pirate chest, tell him every 10 items that make it to the chest he gets a prize. If he brings home trash they go in the bin not the chest, he’ll soon only hunt for decent stuff as he’ll want to fill his chest for prizes. I think it’s lovely he hunts for trash instead of sits infront of a screen.

He’s hoarding. It’s a real issue. I have it as well…

Are we just ignoring that your husband called you a bitch…? What a guy :roll_eyes:

Maybe make a safe treasure hunt for him. Like a scavenger hunt with age appropriate clues and prizes. It becomes a learning experience and quality time.
You could for example make it of the contents of something to make a project, experiment, or recipe together.
Or at the end of a witty treasure hunt a game, or book you can play or read together.

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Your husband is :100: right!
Unless it is something actually dangerous to your son give it a wash and deal with it, just explain the kind of things that are unsafe to collect.
I feel bad for your child and husband.

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Take him out with a scavenger hunt list? Explain safe versus unsafe

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Go treasure hunting with him. Show him what you consider treasure. My kiddo was, and at 18 still is a treasure hunter. I live in inner city cleveland so you can imagine he’s not always brought home the best treasure. It’s a fun hobby and really speaks volumes about the imagination your child possesses. Dont kill his imagination, cultivate it.

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Currently in this phase, my son brings home broken glass calling them “diamonds”. I have to try and remind him those are glass pieces and find other alternative “treasures” or “diamonds”. He’s recently agreed to allowing me buy some treasure items and make him his own treasure hunting trip. But of course of approved, safe items. I understand the concern but as a mama, you just have to teach him what’s approved/safe/okay to pickup/bring home. Prayers to you mama for peace in your heart and ways to work through this with your little one.

Kids do this…its normal and developmental. Just explain about hygeine and safety.

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Be honest with your child. Tell him that people use tubing for drugs and sometimes it has poison on it or could have been up someone’s butt. If he’s old enough to be outside playing without supervision, he’s old enough to educate on ALL of life’s dangers.

Try leaving him things to find around the house

I wouldn’t stop it but instead use it as a teaching moment of what is appropriate and safe vs what isn’t.

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Get him to start Geocaching, as it’s a treasure hunt and he can log his finds. That way he still has the excitement. Drop in a find, take a find home.

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Those saying to keep the things dont know a thing about fairy’s i see :flushed:

Search it up .

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I would tell your son to stop, and then if he brings anything home ground him🤷🏻‍♀️
Maybe when he was little it was cute to bring home fun nature things but… it’s not cute anymore now it sounds dangerous and your son needs to respect you more and so does your husband! I’m sorry. Big threats. Ground him, take his toys away, phone gone, maybe that will get some results?

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Watch him. Tell him not to pick stuff up off the floor. It’s Icky. It’s gross. Whatever makes him drop it ASAP. I was raised to not pick stuff up off the ground from outside.

Ask your husband what he’s going to do when yalls son “treasure hunts” a dirty needle and ends up with HIV or AIDS or when he “treasure hunts” a bag of dope and ends up dead from overdose. I know those are extreme examples but things like that do happen and it’s not safe to be picking random things up and bringing them home and your husband should support you in making your son stop or find better alternatives before he gets hurt

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Get him into geocatching

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How old is your son? There’s a big difference between treasure hunting and hoarding. Sounds like your husband doesn’t know the difference.

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The tube is probably froman old fish tank. But I get your point. I see where you are coming from.

Omg my 11 year old is the same way :weary::weary::weary: he keeps everything he finds and whenever I throw something away he takes it and says he’s keeping it. Whyyyyy ?!?!?!?!

My son calls garage sales treasure hunts. He loves them. Always has. Try redefining his treasure hunts.

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Where you at when he’s doing it? Go with him for crying out loud and watch what he finds. Don’t make him stop doing what he likes to do. Yeah I would be worried too but I’d be right there with him Idk where you live but people leave dirty needles in parking lots everywhere around my town. People are disgusting!:nauseated_face:

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It’s your house and I would lay down the law that whatever comes in the house needs to be approved by you. You have to clean and organize the home and you don’t want a bunch of garbage or crap you need to fight. Until your child is an adult and wants to move out it’s your house your rules. As far as not being a bitch with husband etc. be reasonable, if it’s something not harmful or useful and your son has a plan or purpose for it, let him have it.

To me it sounds like you are a little off and lazy. Why wouldn’t you go with him to do it if the neighborhood is so iffy. Also it’s not like this is a bad thing that he is doing you just need to teach him things to not pick up. And lastly it sounds like your more worried about yourself then your sons safety.

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If you live in a shady part of town why is your son so unsupervised to be able to collect all this “trash”

Take his toys AND your husband’s prized possession s to Good Will!

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This is scary to me.
You have no idea what kind of diseases/germs/drug residue could be on those random things.
If he enjoys treasure hunting, maybe start taking him to garage sales/estate sales/antique stores and let him find a treasure.
I absolutely would put a stop to bringing home random items.

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I may have missed it but is your son 5, 15, or 25? There’s like a naivete (sp.). Like maybe he hasn’t been exposed to much yet so everything is, “Wow looka dis!” Your husband sorry to say seems to suffer the same type of, gosh golly syndrome. Idk what to say here cause I don’t disagree with you…I just have no idea how to tactfully say, “Please wake up.” Maybe family counseling would be a good space. And your “husband” calling you a b-tch is limp D energy. He needs to be a big boy and use words without yelling and cussing.

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Why aren’t you with him when he collects these items? How old is your child? I mean you aren’t wrong in being concerned at all but you and your husband both bear responsibility when it comes to watching him and making sure he isn’t going places or touching/gathering things he shouldn’t. Y’all Know it’s a shady part of town… Knowing the age of your child would’ve help a lot.

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I just feel like you can use this (potentially) as a teaching opportunity for him.

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Have family treasure times together for his safety. Let him do the stuff he loves saftly with family. As for your husband let him know all the stuff that can happen and be found that can kill your child and the sexual transmitted deseases he can get. Like if he found a dildo, duche, or anything like that.

First off how old is your son?
Secondly you don’t punish a child for curiosity
Thirdly maybe set some guidelines as to what types of treasure he can bring home

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Make sure he wears gloves and not bring it in the house. I think this could be a hobby that could turn into his future major and career as an archeologist. You should support his interests. Can get him a garage or cabinet where he can put his collections of treasures. Get him Involved in another hobby that involves treasures that is safe and sanitary. Go camping and to museums that support his interest.
How old is he? Why is he wondering around by himself in a sketchy neighborhood? If he’s bringing home very gross things then you should be monitoring it. Your husband is brushing it off Becuz he just sees it was garbage. Again, neither of u are focusing on the other issue that he’s wondering by himself in a bad neighborhood.

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Order your son a mail delivery service to help him explore in another way. One you can control a lil better

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So your husband is okay with your baby bringing home a used heroin needle AND possibly poking himself with it?! Cool.

Maybe have him look for specific things! Like create a treasure hunt to find like pine cones or pine needles? Hopefully he stops bringing home yucky stuff!

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How old is your child? It really depends on that. I’m assuming young. If so maybe ensure he’s always with someone so he isn’t picking up needles etc.

If you say it …do it. It makes you out as a liar and they won’t believe you next time you threaten them (husband and son).

You did right. Sometimes that’s what it takes. Threats. But you must go thru with it. Maybe next time tell your son for every “treasure” he brings home. It will be a toy to go his choice of toy. Have him take it to. Fire dept or police dept and they will talk to him about dangerous things not to do. Seriously. It takes someone else sometimes to get thru to kids to listen. Dad doesn’t have to know. :joy:. And if he finds out. It will just be a story about a visit to one of those departments. My son loved the Fire dept. visit.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I get my son to stop "treasure hunting" when my husband doesn't have my back? - Mamas Uncut

Why don’t you go with your son treasure hunting?

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Maybe involve your son in some positive activities like sports, boy scouts, music, theatre club etc.

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i would simply tell him that some things can be kept and some things can not. if he is old enough explain to him that you can easily catch something from getting cut open by something that has been infected and your husband should be more concerned for his safety in that aspect.
or like others have suggested make him his own treasure hunt near home or in your home. i make my 3 year old treasure maps all the time with prizes to find because he’s absolutely obsessed with pirates and treasures.

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Maybe at home create a safe environment for him to treasure hunt in, you could even hide items and give clues or simply go with him and supervise. A weekly family outing to a park would be a great place for him to treasure hunt and for you to relax … sounds like your son loves hunting for new things. They say one mans trash is another mans treasure

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Is there a set day during the week where you could take him to a safer hunting ground? Like a park, or a nature reserve? It could be Treasure Tuesday, something like that. Not sure of your son’s age, but my son loved dinosaur eggs when he was younger. And pirate chests with coins and stuff❤️ Dig Up Dinosaur Fossil Eggs,Break Open 12 Unique Dinosaur Fossil Eggs and Discover 12 Cute Dinosaurs,Funny Dinosaur Digging Toy for 3 4 5 6 7 8 9-12 Year Old Boys Archaeology Science STEM Gift https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07T2ZFNPL/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_042K5ES7C2023BSWFTCX?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

200+ Pieces Pirate Toys Gold Coins and Pirate Gems Pirates Rings Earrings Pearls Jewelery Play set, Treasure for Pirate Party (115 Coins+100g Gems+20 banknotes) https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07L1MHNZ4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_JYJXR5ZB359NFC73R10A?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

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Try time outs my 2 year old doesn’t respond to any other type of punishment but time outs. I wouldn’t be okay with it either and your husband should take it more seriously so many things can go wrong. I personally would scare my husband too get him to understand maybe buy a needle and tell your husband that’s what you took from your son if you don’t wanna go that extreme try a used pad.

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Create A TREASURE HUNTING list for him! Go with him sometime. Make it a family tradition. You never know the curiosity could grow into a career as an archeologist or something. Try to be open minded so you can stay ahead of the conflict. Good luck and God bless.

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Just teach him what is safe and not safe to treasure hunt or go with him. I do it with my grandsons and they love it!

Maybe get him to surch for other stuff :thinking:
Not wired crap

And instead of leaving it laying around to provide a box or something he could put it in

I’m a collector as a kid my parents didn’t have running vehicles so I walked alot
And picked up what I found cool off the ground
And put it in box’s
I eventually stopped and threw it all away as I got older but my parents encouraged my random crap :upside_down_face:

Tell him everything he brings home stays in his room. This limits the clutter everywhere else. Also maybe make list of pictures he can take. I like the idea of geo caching.

Soooo why is your child who’s clearly young enough not to know Better, “ treasure hunting “ alone in a shady neighborhood ? :thinking:

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What about instead of him stopping create a list of safe things for him to find ? Or go grocery caching with him.

I wouldn’t enable it, just set rules or encourage other things that can be absolutely amazing finds. Like rock hunting! It may seem dangerous ( it definitely can be) what he’s doing or ridiculous to you for the treasure hunting thing but he wouldn’t be doing it if he genuinely didn’t enjoy the idea of the hunting for stuff in the first place. Maybe you and your husband and son should all go together to
“treasure hunt” see what he would do. Have fun and experience together. If a bad example of what not to touch Comes up, explain why And use that hunt as a good thing for honestly all of you, better understanding for all of you.

You can also Show him pictures of fossils in rocks he can find near you or the minerals in your area.
I personally rock hunt as a release and to do something I enjoy. I’d Maybe try a different route honestly.

geocaching!
steer his interest into the direction of geocaching- people use gps coordinates to hide and seek treasures (aka caches)! exactly what your son likes to do but in a more educational and structured format. would be a fun activity to do as a family & allow you guys to explore local parks!

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I dont think he should stop. You’re not being a b***, you’re a concerned mother. You just need to have a talk with him and explain boundaries and limitations. Tell him what is acceptable to bring home/touch and what isn’t.

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Nothing will get done if ur husband keeps undermining you. Have to have respect for each other in order for your children to show respect to y’all.

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You could set up your own treasure hunt and give him a list with pictures of the things you hid/want him to find.

I think I’m on your husband’s side lol

Maybe try to replace that hobby with another one

Uhm I know the focus is the stopping of treasure hunting but have you ever thought of replacing the husband? Probably solve a lot

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With the covid going around i wouldn’t want him to be touching on things he is finding. Tell him to stop bcuz of covid. Plus u hope he dnt find anything drug related

Geacatching or Pokémon go might be alternative options! How old is the kid?

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Been there with always making me the bad guy. It’s exhausting.

How does he have the opportunity to do this in a shady neighborhood? Is he wandering around alone? If so, that’s the issue. If not, then don’t let him when he’s with you. If he’s doing it with dad, then your issue is dad and not the son.

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I personally dont think he should stop if its something he likes to do. Maybe place rules in place that you and your husband can agree on. He needs to wear gloves picking anything up. Everything needs to be put in a basket when he brings it home for you guys to go through. No sharp objects are to be handed unless a parent is with him. Stuff like that.

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You’re not overreacting. You have a right to be concerned. And tell him next time he calls you a bitch his nether regions will hurt like a “bitch”!

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Throw the whole husband out

Take away his electronics, charger​:slightly_frowning_face::slightly_frowning_face:

Take your son on treasure hunts. That way you can control what he finds.

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Don’t make him quit treasure hunting. Teach him the difference between what is collectable and what is trash. He could one day have a thriving career because of his love for treasure hunting, so now you guide him in the right direction of it.

Geocaching would be a lot safer for him to treasure hunt

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Instead of making him give up ‘treasure hunting’ lay down some ground rules for what is appropriate to find and what isn’t.
There is also a handy app called geocatche where you find treasure in a cool way by hunting and you can also leave stuff for others! Might be a good thing to help him extend his interest in treasure hunting in a safer way if thats what you are worried about and you or your husband can go with him.

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Encourage treasure hunting but focus on it differently, maybe get him a quality junior metal detector to dig a little deeper, or get him a quality rock tumbler and look for rocks.

How old is your child keep him busy doing other thing sports music instrument. Books who is with him when he picks this stuff up .

Maybe educate your son on your concerns and what kind of items he needs to stay away from and what kinds are okay

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If he wants to go treasure hunting maybe designate a time to go with him on occasion to a safe place he can actually collect things? I used to love going to the beaches and collecting shells, sea glass etc.

Youd be surprised to how well kids handle straight truth another option is take him yourself so your with him during these treasure hunts take him trash diving and to antique shops my dad use to take my sister and I trash diving all the time was lots of fun and found some kewl stuff here and there

How old is he?? That’ll help with advice I would think🙄

I’m concerned about your husband calling you a B

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Eh I agree with your hubby on this one, make it a game and tell him he’s gotta show you what he finds or the rules are to use gloves or only treasure hunting with mom or dad

Maybe make safe treasure hunts for him instead!

Get him a sandbox and throw small things into it and eventually a few neighborhood cats will leave him treasures too

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