How Do I Get Over My Spouse When I'm Divorcing Him?


"I’m toward the end of a divorce process. We have been married for almost 6 years, together for 8 years. We have one school aged child. We have been separated for about 7 months now living in separate states and have seen each other twice since then.

Up until recently, we would still talk on the phone for maybe a combined 6 hours a week because we were each other person for a long time. Well that wasn’t working and my feelings weren’t going anywhere and I wasn’t moving on, so recently we stopped talking except the phone call/FaceTime call every night for our child. We text about important stuff about the divorce and our child but otherwise nothing really.

And it’s been helping.

What are some out of the ordinary ways that you have used to move on from your marriage and just seriously live a happy and confident life especially as a single mother.

I am not interested in dating or sex at this time.

I go to church, I journal, I exercise and get out of the house regularly to take my daughter out. I’ll be going out to dinner to have a couple drinks with some old co workers this weekend for the first time in over a year and I’m excited about that. But I’m still really hurting and cry at least once or twice a week.

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The following top answers have been selected by a moderator from hundreds of responses to the original question.

"Go out and do things that u weren’t allowed to do when married! Go get urself pampered love urself first people who say one night stand etc that isn’t loving yourself that is just putting urself out there unless ur that desperate for sex… first thing is first make sure u and ur kids are pampered and loved Go have fun. Counseling always helps too ! My marriage was domestic and trust me it’s hard to get over it… Coming from a momma of 2 separated for a year still in divorce process."

"Set very clear and strict boundaries. Then get an accountability partner, someone you trust. Out of mind, out of sight. And get a hobby."

"I would talk with a therapist! That helped me a ton and look up some good books on coping or moving on!"

"Everything comes in it’s own time. Just spend time finding yourself - who you are without your spouse. When the feelings of “I wish I could share this with them” come up, recenter those thoughts to yourself. “What do I enjoy about this? How can I make the most of this moment for myself? Who else in my life might like to share this with me? Who do I NOT know currently who would enjoy this the same way I would?” Try to envision a world without them. Literally MAKE a world without them. It will come in it’s own time."

"Take down pics of them around the house or off your phone wallpaper (except pics in the kids room of them with the other parent). Put away momentous (wedding stuff, anniversary things, any personal things of theirs you may still have) so you don’t see them."

"I think it’s normal to morn the loss of something you treasured and resulted in a beautiful daughter. But There is a reason you separated so don’t romanticize what was. Morn it… focus on you and your child and move forward at your on pace. I wish you the best."

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