As the mother of a child with a dead beat dad, I would more then happy to attempt a relationship with the grandparents (I’ve tried with his side, but they don’t ever try back). Don’t be offended if she’s is cautious… Just prove to her that you’ll respect her wishes and just want baby to have a relationship with you. I’d reach out through Facebook and introduce yourself. That’s all you can do. Good job being a decent grandparent!!!
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I did this with a niece. The mom was glad I did! I would do it! 
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As a mother who’s father isn’t in his life and his father’s whole entire side of the family also isn’t in his life I say keep doing what you’re doing to be involved in those babies lives. Definitely reach out and let her know you’re there for her
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Def reach out , that baby deserves to know it’s family wether dad is in picture or not , I wish my daughters dads family would do this but cos he doesn’t have anything to do with her the whole family act like she doesn’t exzist!
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Reach out. Maybe she needs help and it’s all honestly about the love for the baby
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Your son is showing his selfish and narcissistic ways. You found the woman and the baby,u know what to do next. It’s sad that your son is so consumed with jealousy that he would deny you a chance to be there for his children. He made the kids,but is no father. Shame on him.
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I would reach out and be very clear you and your son are nothing alike and you understand if she would prefer to be left alone. This opens the door and even if not right now as it could blow her mind, even later She may welcome the additional love her baby will receive and reach out when she’s ready. Stay blessed doll. Lee ya posted 
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Contact the mother.
My baby daddy decided not to be a part of my daughters life early on. She maintained a relationship with her grandpa though. He was an absolute rock to us when I was a struggling single momma. 7 years later I’m married now, and He has accepted my husband and new baby as his own too. I feel just as appreciative of him now as I did years ago.
Our story goes a little deeper, because baby daddy overdosed and passed away a few months ago. My daughter and her grandfather’s relationship has been the only thing that’s held them both together. She’s has an absolute loss of identity and he just grieves for his child. They make each other better though
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I would say something. You never know
If my son showed this kind of pattern over and over he needs counciling …no money from you…He needs a swift kick in the pants and a vasectomy
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Never hurts to ask….
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I think the mom would appreciate you reaching out. I’d say give it a try. I hope it work out
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I think u should reach out… The worst case - he doesn’t want constant… Which u already don’t have… The best case - u contact her and end up with another grand! This sounds like an easy decision for u. His wants as far as u contacting future baby mamas/grandchildren shouldn’t even matter to u considering he’s being a shit parent… Hes not stepping up for his kid (maybe kids) and YOU GUYS ARE! So he doesn’t get a say. Just keep being awesome grandparents to those babies because THEY DESERVE IT!
Introduce your self and offer support, and leave an open invitation to the mother and child. Your son is acting like a child, and we’re talking about a living human being he created that is deserving of love
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I’d contact her not necessarily discuss your son buy mention you just found out about the child and would love to support her and build a relationship for the baby.
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Can you be my kids grandparents? Lol seems to me you are more than capable of being civil. Just stay doing what y’all doing. Your son is gonna have to get over it.
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I would simple msg the mom via FB explain nicely who you are and that you would love to meet her and your grandbaby. Let her know you don’t agree with your son’s actions but that y’all would love a relationship with her and the baby. HONESTLY if it was me I would have least come meet you and allow you to meet the baby. If the baby has his last name he had to have been there to sign the birth certificate.
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I would suggest reaching out to her first.
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When u write “way of life” wha does that even mean? Unless the child is at risk with father then no one has a right to with hold child from the parent. There is no reason a mother should stop a child knowing their biological parent unless that parent doesn’t want to know them. Even if not paying for them. That parent will face judgement at his expiry date. Don’t punish the children. If the mother is that controlling and not let yourself see child because u encourage a relationship with him then go to court to get a court order with mediation! A woman doesn’t decide what’s in best interest of child. There is laws to protect children from that. Sort out the issues with your son before dragging another baby into your dysfunctional family first I think is best. Good luck.
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You should contact the other mother. Just let her know you noticed the last name and was wondering g if your sons the father and if so you would like to have a relationship with your grandchild if she is okay with that.
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Message her directly. You don’t know if his lied and said that you don’t want any contact or anything. He sounds like an A-hole.
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Your son has no say in who you have contact with. It sounds like you have a good relationship with his Ex, and I’m sure that this other girl would appreciate you reaching out to meet your new grandchild.
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Leave your son out of it .pm the baby’s mom and explain who you are
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You do NOT need the NON existing Father’s permission to be grandparents! Absolutely reach out to Mom and introduce yourself.
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Contact the mother and go from there. Good luck
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Honestly, he needs to get snip snipped if he’s going around impregnation every gf he dates and dumps and leaves them when baby is born. Pathetic excuse for a man for sure. I feel so sorry for those babies and women. Take no offense to that because regardless if he wants nothing to do with the baby and the state isn’t a grandparent state, fuck em. If the women are willing and you support them, cuz fuck him definitely, then I don’t see any problem qith reaching out to the second woman.
What I would do, if I were you, I’d reach out to the mother. Introduce yourself and explain the situation that your son may not want anything to do with the child, but you do. Just because your son is a dead beat dad doesn’t mean you should miss out. My son hasn’t seen his biological father in (January will be) 10 years, but he sees his biological fathers family often. I’m not going to punish a grandmother, aunts and uncles, cousins and siblings that want to be in his life just because I chose to have a child with a man that didn’t want the child. Ultimately, it is the mothers choice as to who she allows around her child, but it doesn’t hurt anyone to reach out. See about meeting in a public place to see the baby, and gradually work towards having the baby come to your house for visits.
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I would’ve appreciated contact.
The worst she can say is No. Just let her know the door is open.
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I think you should contact her and introduce yourself, perhaps invite her around for lunch (without the dead beat dad)
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You need to mind your business period
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Following…I’m in the same boat. It’s heartbreaking
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If it were me,I’d try and reach out.I’d kindly let her know that,if she needed any help or just wanted the baby to get to know his grand parents,your door is always open.
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Omgosh you sound so awesome
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Reach out to the mom and make the effort to be there. To many grandparents choose to not be involved bc their child isn’t involved but it shouldn’t be like that.
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Reach out to her . I’m a person that never got the chance to be close to my dad’s side . And it bothers me sometimes on what could have been . If she doesn’t want ur involvement then at lease u tried
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Contact the mom and hopefully she’ll allow you’ll to see the baby. Take it from there. Why should the baby miss out on knowing you’ll?
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See about your grandbaby n thier mother, they’re the ones who need support. Your son is an adult and can live with the consequences of his decisions. Reach out asap!!!
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I would message her.
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I would reach out to mom. Sounds like u are in the best interest of the child.
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Reach out…but respect their wishes,…and leave your son out of it. And I wouldn’t be giving him any money either…tell him to grow up and get a job and take care if his responsibilities. . …and never jeopardized seeing your grandchild because he wants you to and is an absent father
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Doesn’t matter if he’s your bonus child or biological child, he is your child period. If that is his baby that is your grandchild. This baby is absolutely your business. Go ahead and mind your business and reach out to her. It doesn’t matter how he feels about it! It only matters that you want to be apart of your grandchildren’s life. If the mom doesn’t respond or has an issue with dads side of the family I wouldn’t force yourself but I would absolutely try! I see so many grandparents not have anything to do with a child because their daughter or sons are dead beats and want nothing to do with the baby their self. This so absolutely not okay.
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Just reach out and introduce yourself. He’ll never do it. She probably don’t know how to get in touch.
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Kudos to you for not bending ever for your immature son . Most mothers or parents do not have the balls to do it and follow through for a lifetime or to admit that their child is that bad even as an adult. We can teach them right but that does not guarantee they will follow suit and be that person for a lifetime . Kudos to the first baby mother to be respectful to you and in agreement with each other what is best for your granddaughter . I would let her reach out to you . She might not be a receptive as the other baby mother . If you chose to just let her know that you just want a relationship with her and the child and have proof you keep your word then introduce her to the other or sit down all together and be a team of trust to each other for the children. Maybe she will be more receptive showing her you just want to be a grandmother to her grandchild no strings attached and vice versa .
Let me just say you are great people coming from a mom whose son’s paternal grandparents have never told him they love him
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Keep following your heart. The mother’s wishes need to be met as long as it isn’t outrageous. Love your grandbaby. The son needs to grow up. Reach out to the baby mama. Tell her you want to be in the child’s life she will always want the child to be happy with family. Just reach out
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I have an 11 yr old granddaughter…
She is my sons daughter…I haven’t seen my son in 5 yrs…he tried for awhile to keep out of her life…him and her mom are NOT together…I stayed out of her life…I was miserable!!! So finally me and her mother started talking again…I see her when ever I want to now…I dont care if my son gets mad…I love my granddaughter…its not up to him to allow me to see her…I think you should contact the new babies mom and introduce yourself…it might turn out great!!!
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I would definitely reach out . What she chooses to do will be up to her 
LOVE LOVE LOVE that you care! Reach out! Be the grandparents you aspire to be. It’s not your choice to be absent from their life’s. So reach out
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Ive told both my sons I will always be apart of my grandchildren life even if they are not. He sounds incredibly selfish and will have regrets when he’s older. Reach out to her, every new mum needs support and she has likely wanted to contact you but he has told her not to. I wish my daughters nana had of been apart of my daughters life but she chose not to just like her father chose not to 13yrs ago
You’re an amazing person, reach out and do what you feel right xx
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I would definitely reach out who knows your help and support with the new baby may just be what the mother needs since the baby’s father isn’t in the picture.
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As a mom who’s kid doesn’t see any of her parental side I would be happy if his parents reached out to see my daughter. It would show that they actually cared. They know about her. One grandparent just doesn’t give two shits about her and never has and the other grandparent stopped talking to me when his son and I split.
I say reach out. It at least gives her the choice to allow y’all in
I would def reach out personally to the mother to apologize for your son’s behavior and explain that you only just now found out about her and the baby and would love a relationship with baby if she is up for that and leave your son out of it completely. He has no say on whether you have a relationship with your grandchildren or not when he’s not even a part of their lives. He also would not be getting another dime from me as long as he’s out there being a deadbeat producing more and more babies he won’t be a dad to 
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Might want to offer to pay for counseling (directly to the therapist) for your son so he learns to be less of an a-hole & to find the roots of his irresponsibility. Keep the rest of your family (including new baby & its momma) safe from him. Stop enabling your oldest with money. I will pray that as he gets older he gains wisdom and maturity. Encourage him to use birth control. I wonder why his girlfriends didn’t.
Give baby mama # 2 your info and also see if baby mama #1 would let you give out her info also, so #2 knows you are legit. Invite baby mama #2 and anyone she wants to bring along to meet you alone at a time & public place of her choosing. Once she is comfortable with you, introduce her to the rest of the family, excluding your son, the baby daddy of course.
Good luck! Hoping it all works out for everyone.
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Reach out to the mom. She may really appreciate it.
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The fact that you see your son honestly bodes well for being able to have a relationship with her. Reach out to her. Worst that will happen is she ignores you.
I wish my daughter had a grandparent like you!
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I’d say what u said here. You want to respect her n her child but also know ur son isn’t parent material unfortunately. But u think you’re able to be great grandparents n support ur grandchild any way you can. If u take it slow n give her ur number n ask to do a video call or just meet her for coffee or something simple so she can get to know u, that would be best. Low pressure from u and low commitment initially from her would seem best here. Once she feels comfortable, maybe u can have a deeper connection. Bring maybe a box of diapers n something small for baby. Mayve a gift card to Target or Amazon for her.
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I would definitely send her a message and introduce yourself. If she doesn’t respond or doesn’t want you to be a part of baby’s life, that’s her decision. But make sure you let her know that you mean well and how much it would mean to you both to meet your grand baby
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Reach out. I would want you to if I was the mother. The more love for my child the better. I’m sure he’s feel grateful to have more support. Explain the situation and if she doesn’t want the baby around the dad you will respect that also. Good luck!
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Definitely reach out! She’d probably respect you for that. Explain that there is a similar situation with another grand baby. Especially since they’re siblings. Goodluck and hope for the best! Also you’re an amazing person wanting to love your grandbabies despite their father! Much respect for you!
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You should reach out to the mother and just ask her if that’s ur sons child and explain to her that u would like to get to know your grand baby if it is yours…… if ur son isn’t father material I wouldn’t worry about going through him about the situation!
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Awww, I am so glad that you want to put forth the effort into getting to know the new baby. I would try the son first and if he doesn’t comply then message mom directly!
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Honestly I’d leave it alone. She’s probably got her hands full with the new baby and this might only stress her out more. Wait a bit until the baby is a bit older. Just my opinion tho. Best wishes either way
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Your an amazing example. She might not only want your help,but she might need it. Please reach out and give it a chance. Every grandchild needs a grandparent like you.
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Absolutely extend the olive branch. If she goes for it, that would be fantastic, if you don’t, you’ll be wondering what if for the rest of your life.
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I’d reach out to the mom. If your son wants nothing to do with his kids, that’s very sad etc but you want a part, so I say go after it!! Sorry he’s not MAN ENOUGH to take responsibility 
There should be more women like you. You are a wonderful women. God bless you. I think it would be 100% okay to reach out just as long as you never force anything. Best wishes and good luck. I would definitely atleast let her know you care.
Reach out.
I lost my dad very young. My mom was young also & didn’t keep good contact with my dad’s family.
Much of my dad’s family is now deceased as well & it just hurts that I never got to know that side.
Introduce yourself, & let her know you support her being the mother, & you are doing this for you & your husband, not your son.
On the flip side, you may lose your son for good. My uncle was like your son & we now haven’t heard from him in 10+ years because we kept contact with his children 
but owell, his loss.
I’m sure the young mother feels neglected and abandoned so yes, reach out! I think she would appreciate it. Don’t push but gently ask if you can see the baby on her terms. I think she will go for it.
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If I was the mother I would appreciate your efforts and concern. Also, anybody who wants to love my child and can treat them well is someone I will go to lengths to ensure they have in their life. Children need as many people to love them as possible.
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Reach out. Don’t push but let her know you are there when she is ready. She may need support from you more then you know. She may be fine and not ready. But at least you have tried and can leave it up to her.
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Reach out ,we did once we found out! About the same situation we have. Here’s my daughter & our granddaughter who is almost 3! Best year of our life!
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The best thing my kids dad’s side did was reach out. He wanted to sign his right over, his mom reached out a couple of months after… she along with the rest of their fsmily is amazing. I met her & his little sister at Starbucks while my mom watched the girls. We went back to her house where there was a more of his siblings and even him. He seemed uncomfortable, but everyone else was so loving and welcoming. No one knew our kids existed till she had reached out other than him and his mom.
I have never not felt lived with their family. They’ve been inclusive and even got me a Christmas ornament for their tree this year. They’ve always let me know that I’m family judt as much as my girls. They met them at 18months old, they are now 4 years old, 5 in March.
Please reach out. He is a grown man and if he doesnt like it, he will get over it or not. His choice. You sound like a wonderful, loving and caring grandma. Exactly what your grandchildren need.i wouldn’t wait till the child is older, they missed our on so much and i would have loved their help. I had twins, so it was overwhelming at times. Reach out.
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I would reach out to her… it surely couldn’t hurt. The worst that can happen is she says no… and your back to where you started. Would be nice for the siblings to know each other though
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My son was the same way, he left his first mother of his children for a woman that already had four children. I chose to side with the her and be there for my grandchildren. He was furious but that didn’t stop me from being gramma. I put them first as I didn’t Agree with my sons actions. Today we can be happy and work together to make sure they are doing good!!!
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Dont wait for him, you may never get anywhere. Reach out to the mom, who knows what she’s been told or how she feels unless you ask. And respect the decision she makes. My sons dad has not been around for 3yrs, when he stopped being involved, so did his mom. Leaving my son with 2 holes. However, my sons aunt/uncle visit us every year (they live out of state) and he appreciates that he gets to at least know SOME of his family.
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Reach out. As a mom with kids with an absent father it would be wonderful to know the family still cared. Do it sooner than later. You could be a life line for her.
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I would send the Kroger a text and se what she says she may not want anything to do with him or your family I hope not I wish you the best
He is lmature he may grow up ten years from now and he likes the drama but you must have boundaries be good to the baby in your life but don’t dig into the other because the other babys mom may have already moved on she would fined you if she wanted to have communication with you you can’t make everything right sometimes it may cause hurt to your family by digging Unless you like drama
If he is just out there making babies and not helping he needs to be held responsible, too much blame goes on the woman but he played a part too and needs to step up and stop making babies, get the snip
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I would absolutely reach out then it’s up to mom if she wants you to be a part of babies life. With that said absolutely don’t be pushy or anything just say hi who you are and that you would like the opportunity to know your grandchild if mom would allow it.
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I would reach out to the mom. Tell her you would like to be part of your grandchild’s life and if she would welcome the relationship. You won’t know unless you ask. Good luck and be blessed.
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Reach out … if he is the father she will need the help just explain all that to her that you don’t support his absence and want to help her the best you can if it is his child and would love to be a part of its life
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You can’t change what your son does. But you have every right to reach out to this woman and ask her if she would allow you to be a grandma. I hope she is open to this and you can have a relationship with your grandchild.
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Firstly you need to give your son a good clip around the ear!
Secondly, definitely message the mama and tell her you would love to be involved with the child
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Good for you! Kids need all of the loving family members that want to be a part of their lives.
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I would reach out. You don’t know what your son has told her about you. Maybe you’re not interested etc. Reach out and wait for mum to respond
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Definitely Reach out !! Your son sounds like he is very immature and needs a reality check. At some point he will grow up though and I hope for his sake he hasn’t made so many mistakes that he can’t make amends and rebuild what he regards as an inconvenience now. But if it were me I would reach out to Mom, introduce yourself and express your intent to know your grandchild.
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Reach out 100%.
You can have that relationship even if your son cannot.
You won’t have any regrets with trying.
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I would definitely reach out to meet the baby
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I would reach out! You sound like an amazing grandmother & she may be to afraid to ever reach out to you guys!
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I would get involved fir the grandbabies. Your son dont want them that’s on him. But dont let the child think his whole family dont want him. God put him here for a reason.
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I’d contact her and let her know you exist to start with. Let her know the relationship with your 1st grandchild and mum and see if she’s willing to meet on her terms obviously. Goodluck, I’m sure you’re a wonderful grandparent 
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Reach out. If she says no, you at least tried! She’s probably got a lot on her plate and doesn’t have time to seek you out.
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You can always contact the mother, introduce yourself & ask if it’s “your” grandchild. Let her know that you’re not going to have your son involved. It’s worth a shot
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Introduce yourself & let her know you just found out, since the baby has your sons last name you were wandering if it is your grandchild! Also, if she’s young she may need your help & you never know if her parents are involved or not so you may be a Godsend to her as well!
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God u are a great granny there lucky to have a granny lik u I hope it all works out for u 
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Kid need love reach out to the mom . If your son don’t want to the man he needs to be and father that’s on him. He just don’t want to pay for his kids . He will regret it one day
Reach out, you want those kids to know their siblings, if anything it avoids potential incest situation later in life.