Just be careful. In some states " grandparents rights" means they can try to take the child under certain circumstances or can fight for visitation even if you dont want it. But on that note my grandparents were a huge part of my life and my kids have THE BEST memories of time with their grandparents. I was not married to either of their dads due to their drug use and abuse. I think you can extend an olive branch letting them know and send some newborn to now pictures without chopping down the olive tree and laying down a doormat.
I took my daughter to the park a few weeks back and alot of her real dads family was there, they didn’t look or even say so much as hi to her. I felt sad for her but she doesn’t understand it and when she does she will remember they never tried with her and she will make her own conclusions and decisions on how to handle it when she’s ready. That’s how I’m dealing with mine. Idk if that helps but I hope you get things figured out! This is such a hard thing to go through.
From the child’s point of you; whose interest you should have at heart…have proud. Let them know and go from there. If you don’t that child may resent you all in the end and have a lot of trust and emotional issues. I’ve seen it.
I would contact them threw a social platform and if they want agree to a paternity test weather dad likes it or not you can still get child support but before you do any of this I would file for abandonment and full custody in family court and be granted that so once you do start contact dad can’t show up and take the boy with out consent after 6 months you can file this if their is no contact between dad and child very important honestly you could open a big ass can of worms doing this for a child custody case and it’s very scary also grandparents can fight for grandparent rights and also be granted custody so just think about this before hand
Just write a letter and post it though the door leave the ball in there court and dont get your hopes up. If you ex starts to be a dick take him though the courts have no idea why you haven’t already tbh
You know where they live if you REALLY feel like this is something you have to do then I would write a good old fashioned letter with a picture of your child and see where that goes. Include some type of way for them to contact you in case they are interested. It seems like you are going into this not knowing how they will react. Keep an open mind but guard your heart. It may turn out to be a blessing, it may not. Some new grandparents get wierd when they find out they have a grandchild. Please take cautions when proceeding. I know from experience.
How I would see it is this though: She helped him move out, she knew you were together. So that’s no excuse. You said you blurted out you were pregnant, she didn’t follow up and ask? She doesn’t care enough to. I guess there is always the fact that she may just be supporting her son when he is in a pickle but I know if I had a potential grandchild (way wayyy in the future) I would be making sure of the facts.
DON’T do it!! He left for a reason so don’t try to involve him now unless you want some custody problems and drama later on down the line. Just take care of your baby and don’t worry about him or them.
How is he a good friend when he abandoned you while you were pregnant and abandoned his child he doesn’t sound like a very good guy I would let his parents know they have a grandchild and if they choose not to be in his life that will be on them and its there loss as far as child support goes if he stops giving it to you file in court for child support and for medical insurance for your son and the courts will probably make his child support start from when the child was born so he will have arrears he has to pay my oldest sons father never bothered with my son I couldn’t imagine even talking to him I definitely would never be friends with him I will never understand how people just throw the kids away smfh
First of all… Get child support through court… Otherwise he can just stop whenever he wants… Second, live your life, make friends, make your own chosen family. Why would you want the parents of the guy who doesn’t want to have a part in his kid’s life to be involved?
How is he a “good friend” and “supportive” but treating you and your son like that sis? Make it make sense🤔
get the payments through the court, make it legal, for him and you, and let him know you are going to tell his parents they have a grandson. Its not fair to your son ar them to deny that relationship.
Hes trash. And you need better standards as to what constitutes a good friend and person. He isnt supportive AT ALL. And you have no right to talk to his parents. If his mom was there and you said you were pregnant, they know and dont want anything to do with this. You are in for a world of hurt and stress if you involve people who could potentially cause problems for you. And get the damn child support through the courts. No one should have to tip toe around any ‘good friends’ when making decisions for their kids.
I would write a letter and leave your phone number in the letter so they can easily get into contact with you. That way, the ball is in their court. Tell them you don’t want anything from them, you just feel they deserve to know about their grandchild’s existence.
I think you have the wrong definition of what it means to “be a good friend” and of what “supportive” means…
your childs sperm donor is the exact opposite of being a good friend and supportive
Choose the money or the family. You might end up with both, you might end up with neither. But in your heart, you need to decide which is more important.
I would send them a message with a picture of their grandchild and let them decide. I bet they’d like to be in his life
I would write them a letter and tell them of the child. I would send a photo and a note saying that I didn’t want or expect anything from them and wanted them to know they have a Grandchild. I would include my phone number and tell them if they wanted to see him or a relationship with him to give me a call, otherwise, I would leave them alone.
Not your place to do so. It’s not your family. Obviously the father doesn’t want them to know so leave it alone
I’m just gonna share my personal experience: I was young and dumb. Lol. When I got pregnant I fought to have my daughters dad in her life, didn’t pay child support or anything, I had to pay him to come take her places. Long story short, I should have lived like he never existed. My bf raised her since she was 4 and thats her dad. Now I just have a headache that won’t go away. I wouldn’t tell them anything.
Firstly your baby daddy isn’t doing you a favor by paying Child Support, as you make it seem. It is his legal responsibility.
I strongly support you in reaching out to your son’s grandparents.
As you say you do not have family,so what will happen to your son should something happen to you?
Will he become a foster child as well? Or end up with a father/grandparents that is total strangers to him & he to them?
I am sure your son’s grandparents isn’t as cowardly as his father. A relationship with their grandson is a bonus.
Btw take hiss ass to court if he threatens to stop paying C.S due to you wanting your son to have a relationship with his grandparents.
I’m sure your son would be over the moon to meet his grandparents. It’s sad if you gonna hold back coz of what his father’s reactions will be. Seems like you already know what’s right. Stick with it…
You can get child support through the courts. Don’t let that stop you from letting your son and grandparents from having a relationship!
There could be very valid reasons he doesn’t want them to know… it could be protection… I wouldn’t jump head in without his consent if you two are good friends.
Certified letter with contact information and a few photos. Invite them to be involved and let them decide what to do with the information
Just tell them. Don’t give it a secret for him. Your child is not a secret to the world and shouldn’t be a secret to his own family
If you have their address, send them a picture. Ask them IF they want to be grandparents. Abide by their decision.
I would find their phone number, call them say i am so and so i am calling to let you know you’re son so and so has a child with me named so and so you’re son chose not to be around as a hands on present father but he does pay child support. I have asked several times to inform you about you’re grandchild so that you can choose if you want a relationship with you’re grandchild. I can leave you my number so you can call me if you’d like to meet up and leave it up to them after that. This goes for you he is not a “good friend” if he isn’t a good father. He should pay child support even if its through court or not because its his responsibility he made you’re son with you.
He is probably only being a good “friend” because you’re doing as he says and not telling his family about your child. If you think that your child would benefit from having a relationship with his Grandparents then tell them. If he stops paying maintenance then go through the maintenance service. My son is the same age as yours & has a brilliant relationship with all his family members (maternal and paternal), my ex in laws are great with him, the thought of a child not having that relationship with a grandparent is really sad. Try not to think of it from the adults involved perspective, think about your son - do you think he would like more adults around to dote on him etc? X
Send the grandparents a cute photo of your son and just let them know if they would like to meet him just call. That way they can handle it as they wish , with no real pressure. You may be surprised, they may jump at the chance to except him.
If your sons father stops paying child support of his own free will, take him to court and get court ordered child support.
He helped in making a child that was born into this world and has at the very least a financial obligation to the child whether he wants to or not. His personal feelings and wants do not matter anymore now that’s he’s stepped out of the picture and has deemed himself only a source of income in your sons life.
If you want your son to meet his grandparents and they want to meet their grandson and build a relationship, DO IT! If the father wants to throw a fit, let him throw his fit to the judge.
Write a letter, with your contact information. So they can absorb it and make a move they’re comfortable with, without the pressure of being put on the spot. I’d file for child support through the courts asap too. If anything, it’s support for your child if you fall on hard times. Especially if his bio father decides to disappear…
Why is it that you don’t introduce your son to his grandparents anyway what you did and what the father of your son did it’s not his fault there is no question that when you’re going to be a mother and the dad is an involved that shouldn’t even be a question this boy deserves to have grandparents if they want to meet him introduce your son and give him grandparents it’s bad enough he doesn’t have a dad much less grandparents you’re keeping him away because why because you’re worried about ruining our relationshipBetween you and his father really how old are you you’re smarter than that I’m sure I don’t mean to get down on you and be mean but I mean it’s reality if you’re going to be a mom your son deserves to have a grandparent bottom line