So I’m trying to figure out how to handle an awkward situation. My Nana passed away Saturday night and I’m flying in for the funeral on Friday. The problem I’m facing is that my Dad’s new wife will obviously be there. When I say I hate this woman with a passion is an understatement. My dad cheated on my mom with her while my mom was going through chemo and radiation. She knew my dad was married and she knew my mom was sick. They got married 2 months after my mom passed away. I’ve also had issues where during video chats with my dad with my kids, she would butt in and even tried to get my kids to call her the same name they called my mom, which obviously threw me over the edge and I cut contact for almost a year. Since it’s my Nana’s funeral, do I just grit mg teeth and bear it? What do I do if she comes up to me and tries to talk to me.
You can still tell her to Buzz off. But do you want her to ruin the years you have left with your dad? If you don’t care then just tell her how it is.
Ignore her. Walk away from her, if she does it again tell her to let you attend your grandmothers funeral in peace.
Walk away hun. You are there for your Nanna. No one else. Save this for another time. So sorry for your loss. 
You will have to forgive your dad for your own well-being. Just go to your Nana’s funeral and be a big girl
You got to get over it and let it go if you forgive your father you forgive her. Don’t tear a family apart.
Your dad knew he was married too right?? You’re holding her in a class different than your father, but they both made the same choice….I’m not understanding the thought process here.
Why are you mad at her and not your dad 
I would just walk away. If you have to talk to her keep it short and civil.
Try to keep your distance remember your there for Nana
Just walk away. Say nothing and walk.
I ignore my dad’s. We do not talk.
Its not all her fault ur dad went n asked her2 marry him if its respect wellhe has none shes n outsider hes ur dad ur words should be with him 
If she comes up to you just say, “I have nothing to say to you nor do I want to hear anything you have to say.” Then walk away from her
Wow I’m sorry she’s awful but so if your father! I hope you treat him the same way you’re treating her since they’re both wrong. If I were you I’d ignore them both
I mean your dad it the one who owed your mom loyalty not her. Doesn’t mean it’s right but she did not owe your mom any type of loyalty. So to me its you dad in the wrong
You politely say “I’m sorry but I am grieving right now and prefer not to speak with you.” And then walk away.
I’d see your Nana and tell her to go fuck herself 6 ft under too
Ignore her. Like hardcore ignore her. Make her question her existence.
I’d honestly just go to the funeral and be respectful as to not cause a scene at your grandmother’s funeral but i wouldn’t be able to forgive that or have a relationship with either of them. But that’s just me
Be civil. It isn’t about her. It’s about saying goodbye your loved one. Set boundaries so there’s no question where she stands with you.
If she approaches you kindly walk away… Have you tried talking to your Dad before hand? I’m sorry for your Loss…
Both are pos’ignore them both and focus on your Nana and pay your respects. ’
You owe nothing to that woman. I would continue to not speak to her and if your father doesn’t see his wrongdoings then you already know.
Alright I’m gonna be unpopular opinion. Fuck that woman, your dad you forgive because he’s your father & don’t know how much time he has left; but her? Nope fuck that. You are not obligated nor does she deserve forgiveness. Over stepping would’ve been the last straw… nope. Attend the funeral don’t start problems, but don’t submit & make her think what she is doing & does is ok. She wants your kids to call her something, how about her name? Because she is not their grandmother, she is their grandpas new wife, nothing more. Does not make her their anything.
Be honest not the time or place we will settle this after I bury my nana!!! Been there done that at my gmas funeral people who shamed me for leaving an abusive marriage with a new baby only to end up falling into the arms of my best friend and high school love of 20+ yrs
Go to funeral if she comes up to you tell her she is nothing to you or your kids and to leave you and kids alone
I’m sorry for your losses. I think since it’s a funeral you probably will have plenty of ppl to talk to so if she comes to you just excuse yourself an Walk away. I hope you can handle this for the sake of your family. An never would I allow my kids to call her what the called my mom. That’s too much. Sending prayers for you
Honestly, act like she doesn’t exist. Look past her when she’s around and don’t make conversation.
You need to communicate with them how much the cheating while your Mom was terminally ill has hurt you. Why are you only mad at her? She didn’t have a commitment with your Mom. Your Dad did.
I just wouldn’t talk to her.
However, do you still talk to your Dad? Because HE is the one who cheated on your Mom, NOT his new wife. He is even more to blame than she is. If youstill talk to your dad, that’s a bit hypocritical on your part.
Blame them both, or let it go.
I would say ignore her as much as you possibly can, at least through the actual funeral. I think a question you need to ask your Dad is why he lets her treat you this way. I know he’s your dad, but he isn’t a victim in all this. He wasn’t helpless, he wasn’t forced. Maybe the relationship that needs to be worked on is not with his wife. You can walk away from her. He needs to support you in that decision.
Act civil and don’t engage in too much conversation with them.
You will regret not going to it because of someone who is going to be there. I’m sorry that all happened though
Set a boundary right off the bat. If she tries to come and talk to you tell her you’re trying not wanting to participate in conversing with her,you’re grieving and that pushing the matter could very well push you to a place you really don’t want to go and tell her you need her to respect it. That’s all you need to say.
Always have respect at a funeral, keep your personal gripes to yourself. If you get time after and away from the funeral talk to your dad a out how you feel.
Be gracious, smile sweetly, thank her for coming and supporting your family, then walk away. Do not dishonor your Nana or the family with anything snarky or hateful. Be the gracious lady your Nana or mother would be proud of.
Both were cruel to your Mom. No one needs trouble at your Nanas funeral. Tell them both ahead of time to talk to others and leave you mourn in peace. If something needs said, it will be done another time.
It’s not all her fault. Your dad was the one who was married to your mom. Your father is not innocent here. The funeral is about your Nana not a place for you and your step mom to start something.
If she comes up to u just tell her you aren’t there for her your here for your father and your respects to your flgrandmother and to politely walk the fuxk away. I had to do it at my fathers funeral
Grit your teeth! Hold the respect for your momma!
Be the bigger and the better person! ….just say hello! And move on, go to the toilet or something!
But your dad is more at fault that this woman really x
Your dad is who you should have the problem with.
Honestly cut your father off and her you don’t need to go over for them go over for your nan. Fuck them both that’s foul.
your dad is as much to blame in this. be polite and say goodbye tou your nana
Don’t make a scene at your moms memorial, I would avoid her at all cost, and if your dad pushes it avoid your dad too.
If she comes up to you I would just give a quick smile and then say I have nothing to say to you and walk away. Nothing more!! She’ll get the hint!!!
She did not force your Dad into a relationship. He was a partner in hurting his marriage. You do not have to be this woman’s buddy but you can be civil to her if you still want a relationship with Dad. I would explain if it comes down to it she will not be addressed by the name of your children’s grandmother.
Turn around and walk away
Only God can give you that level of forgiveness you need. In forgiving them you allow God to judge them for being wicked towards your mom
If that’s your true feelings tell her you despise her, want to do with or from her. Then tell her to take a hike and keep going
Grit your teeth and bare it.
If she approaches you, walk away.
This is about your nan and saying goodbye to her.
Leave everything else aside.
Be the bigger person
Your dad is just as much too blame if not more. I hope you have just as much anger towards him
It’s shitty for sure but I think you should move forward without gate and resentment. The family seems to have dealt with a great deal of losses and forgiveness and understanding goes a long way. Obviously the situation sucks, but your dad is human. Don’t reject them and rift your relationship. Time heals most wounds. At the end of the day, it’s your time with your dad that you’re foregoing and no one’s going to care more about that than you.
You should be cordial and respectful first. You then should have a talk with her after the services. Your Dad owed your mother loyalty. Communication brings peace and understanding.
Are you angry at your dad or just her? Maybe you’re projecting all your anger towards her. Your dad was the one who was married, not her.
Your Dad made vows to your Mom and broke them, not this woman. This woman is not the one who was disloyal- your Dad was. This woman merely fell in love with your father. Now she’s literally trying to show love to the children and grandchildren of the man she is in love with. Interesting to me how people decide who to get angry at.
Consider letting this hatred go because it really has nothing to do with her as a person nor has she actually done anything to you. Think about it.
She loves your Dad. That’s great. Why make that harder. He’s not alone, that’s great. Was a shitty way sure but life is cruel and hard.
First. There is nothing you can do that will change your dads relationship with his wife. Trying to do so is a waste of your precious energy and likely make you very angry.
Second. The purpose of the funeral is to remember your nana and pay respects to her. Your dad just lost his mother. Please keep your personal feelings about his wife to yourself. There is a time and place to handle your dislike for his wife and the funeral is not it.
Third. Honor your mother and demonstrate she raised a strong compassionate women by not lowering yourself to the level of people you are angry at. Show your mom you honor and respect her by showing your quality.
When a person cheats, I more look at that person as in the wrong more than the one who cheated with them… yes they are BOTH WRONG for doing it, but your dad is the one who chose to cheat!! In my opinion u need to either treat both of them like shit or forgive both of them! It’s not fair to just treat her this way… and u r going to honor your nanas memory, so don’t let this situation take away from why u are there.
Ok but you’re mad at the wrong person. Your dad is the only one who owed loyalty to his family.
Well your dad is just as guilty as she is. It’s not her fault completely.
I’d literally say “respectfully, not today”
Be polite and walk away!
While I understand your hurt bc I have lived a similar situation. I offer you this humble advise.
Being respectful & cordial doesn’t mean that you have to have a close relationship with her nor involve her in the details of your life. If I had one parent left I wouldn’t let anyone stop me from a relationship with them. I would actually use the funeral as an opportunity to explain to your dad & his wife that you have missed him. I would tell them that you respect his choice to live his life & marry her but at the same time tell her in front of him, I can respect that my dad chose to marry you but your relationship has been difficult for me to accept. I can be cordial & respectful but please understand I am not at a place in my life where I am ready to build relationship with you. I hope that just as I can respect my dad’s choices you can respect mine.
Just me but I’d be pissed at my dad. Regardless tho, do what it is that you can live with. For me, I’d go.
These forgive him statements aren’t helpful, and not realistic. When she gets to a place of indifference that is the real power. Until then, she is disgusted and hurt and has every justification to be so.
Tell her. And I mean this politely. To F all the way off.
I’m a huge fan of boundaries. A simple “Not today.” While looking her in the eyes can work.
**Just say Satan in your head and not out loud to her face, as in “Not today Satan.”
I only say grit your teeth for you nana. However; if you can forgive your dad then I think it’s time to let it go for her. Your dad much more blame considering he was the one who owed his loyalty to your mother. Stepmom is at fault too, don’t get me wrong but your dad takes more blame on this then her since he was the married one.
I’m with u…I wouldn’t have anything to do, with either one of them, I’m sorry, ( not sorry )!
If My dad, did that to my mom, he would b dead to me, and anybody, he would get with, or b remarried to!
Just remember…
Karma will come for him, in the future, for what he did!!!
That’s my opinion!!!
Listen…you deal with your pain whatever way you want to if people call you immature or rude or whatever they have it so be it
You go, pay your respects, mind your business and if she comes up to you, tell her clearly I don’t f*** with you and keep it moving. It’s that simple.
Hi. Bye. And that’s all. Civil because you are an adult and this isn’t the place to have the drama. But I wouldn’t be friendly
Bear it for the funeral.
If she dares approach you while at the funeral, tell her this isn’t the time to talk & walk away
Kill them with kindness
Can everyone please stop focusing on the “your dad is the one to blame” crap for a minute? That’s not even what she’s asking. I’m sure she has her own bone to pick with her dad but this lady literally tried to take her mom’s place with the grandkids and all. Those comments are so unhelpful. Of course dad is totally in the wrong for what he did but that does not change that this woman was running around with a cancer patient’s husband. OP loved her dad so of course her mind has been more against the lady she watched destroy her mother’s heart.
A funeral is not the time or place.
They’re both at fault but you are not obligated to even bat an eye at the woman. I am in a similar situation and unfortunately i moved back home to take care of my mother and i made it clear after her passing that i knew of the other woman and to keep her out of the house and away from me period and setting that strict boundary has worked . Be firm
Killer with kindness. Is what my grandmother would have told me.
If she walks up, tell her I have nothing to say to you, I am here to say goodbye. And walk away.
Don’t acknowledge her at all.
Respect your Nana enough to grit your teeth and stay away from her
You go there for your Nana and if she approaches you just give her a blank stare and nothing more. She is not worth engaging at all. Let it be awkward for her, not you. That is YOUR Nana, the day is about honoring her. Your silence towards her will say more than words ever could.
But by all means, give her all the nasty looks if you want
Sidenote: I am so sorry about your Nana, may she rest in the most beautiful of paradise 
Tell her your grandmother’s funeral is not the place. Walk away. Then if she begins it later, read her for filth, but include your father in it too.
I wouldn’t speak to either of them u r there for nana not them remember that
You are there to oay respects to your Nana. If said person tries to speak to you, simply say, I’m not here for you…
Tell her , NO THANK YOU. !!!
A funeral is not the place for this.
Same thing I do with my step mom, I avoid her at gatherings
Address the issue or it’s always gonna be weird
It’s your dad you should have the problem with , be the bigger person and just get on with it for your nan
Be an adult… not the time nor the place. If she comes up to speak to you, speak back. Doesn’t have to be a love feast. As soon as you can excuse yourself.
First, I’m sorry for your loss.
Please keep in mind who the service is for. Make her proud!
Next, tho she may have known your Dad was married it was HIM that was supposed to be faithful to his wife. He was the one married. So while I do believe it’s wrong that she knowingly was seeing your Dad while married, it falls on him.
I’m sorry for ur loss
I understand y u would hate her this way…n I kno ur dad is ur DAD. But sorry to tell u this but in my opinion if my dad did this to my mom especially wat she was going thru with chemo etc I’d hate him too 
JUST AS MUCH 
I’m not sure why you blame her, your dad is the problem. He’s the one who cheated, he is the one who broke his vow, not her. Why do women always blame the other woman? Yeah so she knew, he’s the one who stepped out. You don’t have to do anything, you don’t have to answer, you don’t have to smile, you don’t have to be civil. You do what you feel like at the time.
So your mad at her but not him? 
go do what you need to do as an adult and go home. Pretty simple, I think.
It’s not fair to be okay with your father but consider her the villain. Your dad is the only one that owed your mom the respect. I don’t agree with her or him at all but if you’re going to be in his life, she’s going to be there too.
Just be polite I understand your feelings towards her but your kids need to see that you can do what is best for the family at a time like this. You can just say hi and keep it moving. If she tries to make a scene be the bigger person.
Depends on the type of woman your Nana was. If it was was me and either one of my grandmothers I would just ignore her UNLESS she pops her lips to say 1 word to me. My grands would expect nothing less.
Just say hey I’m here to say goodbye to my Nana so please just keep your distance away from me I will leave soon and rather not have any contact with u and walk away 