Say goodbye to your Nan and then just walk away, you only get one mother.
Just try and bear it for your dad and just hold your breath,unless she provokes you
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You owe it to your Nana to go and be civil. Fake it til you make it. Smile while you’re there and be done. You don’t have to have conversations with anyone you don’t want to. You are going to set a good example for your children. Be the better person.
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What would Jesus do? Show respect for your dad and be support to him
Yes, you go, grit your teeth and get through it. You’re honoring your nana, it isn’t about what’s going on between you. I think from your question you already knew that though and just want someone to say “Yup, you put on your big girl pants and do it.”
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(Don’t) put eye drops in her drink lol don’t give her the time of day. 
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I’m gonna be rude a minute. Your parents relatinship has nothing to do with you or your kids. The fact your Dad cheated on your Mom should have no bearing on his relationship with you or your kids. That was between them. You should at least be civil and show some respect for your Father and his New WIfe regardless of how you “feel”.
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Been there done that- same situation exactly. Grin and bear it. No drama at the funeral please. Keep all things uncomfortable at the surface “hi how are you ?” Believe me, it’s not worth it. Also, at this time you want them together because if not , then he’s your problem and I’m sure you don’t have time for that. Trust me on this.
Just politely tell her you don’t have anything to say to her and walk away. You don’t want to do or say anything at your Nana funeral. I done the same thing with my sister in law when my husband passed away 4 years ago and I haven’t spoken to her since and all is good.
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Girl just walk off if they try to speak to you. In silence. Simple 
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Don’t do what I did I choked my dad’s evil bi…
I’d go to the funeral for Nana. and if either of them came up I’d walk away clearly telling them to F off without saying a word.
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Just tell her thank you for your respect
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How do you not know your mum told him it was OK, alot of ppl say this yes it was quite quick but sometimes ppl do things in living grief that help them just as much as after the persons passed, I’d just say not giddy if you really can’t deal with her
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I mean I get that you’re mad at her…I do. But you need to be way more mad at your dad…he is the betrayer. Until you can forgive her you should just chill and not allow a scene to be caused.
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Do yourself a huge favor. Be cordial, don’t show any dislike for her. You will be out of there in no time. Just be happy, you don’t have to live with her. Good luck.
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Ignore her n grieve with your family
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Tell her how you feel get it out there then tell her go shit in her head tell her what you told us
Not the time and place to discuss it. Go and stay with your other family members. If she or he comes up kindly excuse yourself. I’m so sorry for the loss of your nanna and what happened with your dad and his wife. Sending lots of prayers hugs and love 
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Im so sorry about everything you mentioned 
my grandpa got a new wife right after my grandma passed and it was and has been hard. I hardly visit but its hard. When I do i just hold back and honestly kinda ignore her unless she talks directly to me.
I would ignore both of them. No explanations why. They should know and if they can’t figure it out then that sounds like their issue, not yours. So sorry for your loss.
Your Dad is the one you should be blaming. He was committed to your mom, not her. It’s just easier for you to hate her.
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Just politely state your boundaries and go about your time however you are comfortable and be accepting of how much or how little involvement they choose to have/show once you’ve stated those boundaries.
Sounds to me like you should b pissed at your dad moreso…
It does no good to be salty to ppl for shit that’s over and done with.
What would your MOM want u to do? Was she a beautiful forgiving soul? After all, SHE was the main one that was cheated on.
My husband’s late wide was ill for many years with cancer. When we met 4 months after her death ppl were outraged that he started dating so quickly…but, he said. “These ppl weren’t there when Tracy was ill and didn’t know him, or when he had to chg her diaper, or other times” fact is, she wasn’t his WIFE for quite awhile …and he was quite lonely…its easy to make assumptions for certain situations, but LIVING that situation is quite a different animal…
Msg me if you need to talk!
I would politely let her know that you are there to pay your respects to your Nana, and have nothing to say to her.
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Just ignore her if she makes a scene that on her
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Kill her with kindness, get through saying goodbye, and be the better person. Easier said than done but your Nana deserves more than a family dispute at her funeral.
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Don’t acknowledge her. IDC if people think I’m rude I refuse to acknowledge my ex step mom when I see her. She is pure evil in my eyes and hurt me as a child. I won’t do it. But I am around her bc of my siblings sometimes and I just act like she isn’t there. She hates it and I don’t care.
My Mother would have said, “ I will forgive both of them but I won’t forget “
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Kill her with kindness
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First let me say how sorry I am about your mom and your Nana. Losing these precious family members must have been awful for you and your children. About the funeral. In honor of your Nana, the last thing you want to do is make a scene or have a meltdown. If the stepmother tries to approach you or to engage you in conversation and you don’t feel comfortable, quietly excuse yourself and walk away from her. Find someone else to talk to. Another family member, neighbor, even the funeral director. If you approach the funeral director, ask for a glass of water. They will get that for you. That will get you away from her and give you a chance to collect yourself. When the funeral starts, try to sit away from your dad, or behind him. That should put you out of her reach. I’m not trying to sound petty. I just know what it’s like to feel… ambushed… at a funeral. You have to be creative to keep your sanity. Take care of yourself and those kids. Once again, I’m sorry for your loss.
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How close to your dad are you? If you want a relationship with him you may have to put up with her. If not then ignore her. The funeral is not about them or your problems with them. You may just want to be coldly civil to her if you have too.
Be nice I know it sucks but after the funeral set boundaries. Tell her she will only be whatever her name is to your children they already had a grandmother and she needs to respect boundaries. Your dad is just as guilty as her. I know it’s hurtful but he’s your dad if you can find a way to be civil then do it. You only have one dad You don’t have to have a close relationship with her.
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Act like she doesn’t exist! I did that with a so called wife of my son, he passed away she’s nothing but a dark spot in my head.
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Ok so, not to piss off anyone… but IMHO… It’s not her fault your dad was with her while your mom was sick. Do you know if your mom knew about it? “Approved” of it because she might have suspected she wasn’t gonna survive the cancer? Some men can’t handle shyt like that, and they deal with it in their own way.
Right or wrong, it’s really not your place to judge. Realize there’s always two sides to any situation. Why would you not try to get along with her for everyone’s sake. No need to make a rotten situation worse. It’s not like you need to be best friends, but she is in your dad’s life now. Granted she shouldn’t try to force the situation with your kids, that’s not her place, But I’m sure she’s trying the best she can with the obvious hatred she’s receiving from your end…
Good luck at the funeral and so sorry for your loss 
Well don’t make the day about you, if she brings drama walk away completely! Lead by example and remind her why you all are even in the same room together period.
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“I am here to say goodbye to my Nana, I have nothing to say to you.”
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Out of respect for your Nana, be cordial. Your anger is understandable but your dad is as much to blame as she is for the relationship. He was married to your mom and he stepped out of the marriage.
Once the funeral is done and you are back home, I think you need to talk with your dad about your feelings. He needs to shoulder some of the blame.
I am sorry for your loss of your Nana. My prayers are with you and your family.
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Why do they always hate the other women??? You should hate your dad just as much!!! I can never understand this!!!
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grit your teeth n bare it while in their presence n if u do not want to speak to her or them if u r approached kindly just walk away that is what i do in situations like that and Sorry for your loss of your Nana
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Sounds like it was your dad’s fault. Sure she knew but ultimately your dad had free will and chose to fuck over your mom. Either way ignore them both.
She owed your mother nothing and while your dad owed her loyalty, its always hard to know what was going on with their relationship before your mother’s illness. He has to live with his choices, but so do you. It’s time to forgive and forget. Do not deprive your children of a relationship with their grandfather. What transpired was between your parents.
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Definitely shitty of your Dad not just her. But your parents may have just not been happy together.
Why are you even talking to your dad? He also knew he was married and that his wife was dying. He chose to cheat. That’s on him. No woman can make a man cheat. He has to want to cheat. She didn’t vow to love your mom in sickness and health. He did. Does she deserve blame. Yep. Half of it. He deserves the other half.
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Smack the shit outta that bitch and make it best funeral anyone has ever been too!! #Joke you’ll know what to do in the moment. You sound like a reasonable adult woman that will read the room and take it from there 
I understand how you feel in regards to her trying to take your moms place in your kids and your lives that’s really big no no for me there are lines you just don’t cross and that’s one but that’s a conversation that should eventually be had but not with her with your dad and not at the funeral was she wrong for being with your dad? Absolutely because In my book married men are way off limits especially the ones with children but in reality unless she was family or a close friend she owed none of you any loyalty your dad did he made vows and broke them people do what you allow and he allowed things to get as far as they did this whole mess is on him my suggestion is if she approaches be polite and excuse yourself show her your mom raised a woman with respect and did a damn good job of it god luck hun
Just be civil… it’s not the time nor place for anything else… walk away from her as much as possible to avoid any conversation
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Went thru this same situation with my sister… she was sick and was going to chemo and radiation and her “man” was cheating on her. At her funeral he tried bring his girlfriend that he was cheating with but it didn’t go too well with my sisters and I. We ran her off but then had to be polite to him until it was all over with. Well after her funeral he gave my neices up and me and my mom ended up raising them. Now my mom passed in November 2021 and my little sister is finishing raising them (the youngest is 14). Just get thru to your nanas funeral and u don’t have to fool with her
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Being emotional it may seem hard to be rational… But this time is not about your and her beef but the passing of your Nana…
Let it go unless you are approached in a negative Manor and even then I would say oh there is my aunt so-and-so and remove myself without an argument or kindly say. Im sorry you feel that way but now is not the time and I would appreciate we not discuss this at this time and walk away.
Yes, to respect your Nana, stay away from this person
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Your dad was part of the cheating
If you can get along with your dad you can get along with the new wife especially in public. Easy to be polite, civil and respectful.
She didn’t have the affair alone. Be the mature one and let it go. Be civil. Maybe even learn to forgive and put the blame solely where it belongs. On your father.
If you are allowing your kids to have a relationship with your dad then you need to allow them to have one with her as well. You do not say that she cheated on a spouse or anyone to be with your dad. She didn’t do anything to deserve your hatred.
Sorry about your grandmother’s death.
Sorry about your Nana.
Ignore her Totally. Pretend she’s Invisible. Speak to those you want. Don’t look at her, and Walk away if she heads your way. Silence will Scream more than Words. As for your Dad, you will have to decide. Make sure he knows she’ll never be a part of your life, but he Alone…well that’s your choice.
What would your mother want you to do sweetheart 
Why would you deny your dad’s happiness? Obviously death was doing him apart so let him be free smh
That sucks. I’d just ignore her
Go to the funeral, be civil, but avoid contact where possible x
If she does attempt to talk, look at her and nicely say:
“I’m sorry but this is not the time or place. You and I do not see eye to eye and I don’t want that to interfere with today because I am spending the last few minutes with someone I love and will miss dearly. I want to focus all of my time today on her.”
Keep your tone nice and soft that way she doesn’t see it as an argument or rudeness and is less likely to have a rude comment back. That’s just how I would handle it.
Your dad leaving your mum for someone else isn’t someone else’s fault, that’s on your dad. Remember why you’re there, simple as.
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I would politely ask her not to speak to you and keep distance as much as possible.
Do what you can to be civil. As far as her wanting your kids to call her grandma (or whatever) be firm. “Silly Maggie you can’t replace their grandma” & make sure your kids know who their grandma is throughout their life.
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Honor your Nana, by being “The Lady your Nana would be proud of”. Your dad’s new wife knows what she did.
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Praying for Your family
I wouldn’t even speak to either of them.
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If the reason you hate her is because she was dating your dad when you’re mom was sick and going through cancer treatments, you should hate your dad just the same.

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I understand completely. Step monster
Yes you do this is about your nana not her or your fathers relationship be cordial and short to the point! I am here to say my farewells to Nana and really don’t care for any drama here so please don’t create any by trying to talk to me please
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Go to funeral, be civil and ignore them. You aren’t there for them, your there to pay respects to your Nan
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Go for your Nana, you don’t have to be rude to your step mom but you could just simply say “I don’t want to talk” if she approaches you. It’s hard but in these situations we must act like adults.
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For your family’s sake, bite your tongue & try to get through it. It’s a difficult situation but I think you can do it. If she approaches you, give one word answers & try to keep any conversation minimal. Good luck.
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Just be honest with her and tell her you’re there for your family and will be cordial but want nothing more! If she doesn’t understand say it louder. You new about my mother being sick and still pursued my father that is unforgivable!
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I would just grey rock you’re step mum. I’m so sorry for you’re lost 
Your dad was more to blame than this b….! He knew he was married with a Sick wife!
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Try to get through it but at some point you need to have a conversation with both your father and his wife and make sure they know how you feel. Make your views know and that your children will decide what they will call her even if it is her first name. My children call my stepmother by her first name and always have for 30 yrs. Don’t hold onto anger or hatred it will not affect them but it will affect you.
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Walk away if she does. Don’t give her the time of day or let her rent space on your head. Sometimes silence speaks volumes! Good luck!
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Walk away turn your back and ignore her . Not worth causing a scene
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You dad also knew your mum was sick.
She only deserves half the blame. Both as bad as each other, him more so as he promised in sickness and in health. No sure I’d forgive that.
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If this woman had any moral composs at all she wouldn’t have engaged with him they are both at fault here maybe your dad was in a bad place and was very vulnerable and maybe she seen that and used it to her advantage just saying it’s possible people handle death like this differently im not by any means saying the father wasn’t wrong but maybe this lady seen a opening and used it to her advantage maybe he went to her for a friend a supportive ear and it went the other direction either way I would confront my dad and ask why what was he thinking was he thinking then I would ask how long has he known this woman prior to this infidelity this woman could have been on the sidelines just waiting for a reason to ensure herself into his life I know I watch to many true crime stories and way to many lifetime movies lol
Keep busy so that they won’t have a chance to bother you- if they do, excuse yourself to talk to someone else. The whole thing about the cheating is so disrespectful and a slap in the face- things like this affect a child for a long time or forever. You have more of a right to be there than she does. They know how you feel and they just don’t care. Having a parent that cheats, and under the circumstances, can make a person bitter. Those folks that you care about should take all of your time at the funeral. Hang in there and keep your chin up!
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Be respectful at the funeral. But I’d tell her and your father. They crossed a line, explain your feelings on the situation but also put down “rules” when it comes to your kids if it bothers you.
You can’t change or control what they said or done… or even what they do. But at least you’d feel better explaining your side. And when it comes to your kids, you set the rules, schedule, everything.
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It’s a funeral, bite your tongue !! Don’t have to make nice.
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I would not talk to either of them. Your father was the married one. She knew he was married and your mother was sick. So they both did wrong. No man would do this to the women he loved. She was your mother. Don’t say he wasn’t to blame.
Make that boundary and stick to it. Don’t talk to her. Steer your children clear of her. Don’t feel bad.
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I’d polity remove myself . Don’t be rude but , simple say a few words n ,excuse yourself…oh I gotta go see so n ,so n ,make your way to them.
Obviously your dad and his wife know how you feel, but I would talk with your dad … human to human, not daughter to dad.
You are an adult with children of your own, but you’re still daddy’s little girl. You will always be daddy’s little girl … in his eyes, as well as your own eyes … which makes it almost impossible for you to see your dad as human & capable of making mistakes. I’m not saying what he did was okay … I’m saying he’s your dad and he has chosen this woman to be a part of his life. The sooner you are able to be honest with him & yourself about what happened & why your so upset, the sooner you will be able to forgive and let go of the pain it has been causing you. Anger can eat you up alive. It can destroy your happiness. You don’t have to accept his relationship with his new wife, just accept that he has the right to make his own decisions about his life & his choices for how he wants to live his life. Lay the ground rules for what you are willing to allow in their relationship with your children. Children don’t understand adult issues … all they know is that’s their grandpa, and they love him. They don’t understand the details of grandma being gone, and now there’s a new woman that wants to be grandma. They will follow your lead in accepting her into their lives, or ignoring her & not understanding why.
Your issues are not with this woman … they are between you and your dad. I hope you are able to listen to him with an open heart, and that you are able to resolve your differences while you still can. Life is too short to not allow the people in our lives to be human. Love is not judgmental … it is forgiving others for hurting us & moving on.
Good luck my friend.
I would say that it’s definitely more your dad’s fault than the other woman, but I do understand your distain for her. She’s not your mother and you are loyal to your mom, I get why you feel the way you do. If it was me, since it’s a funeral, I would just give her a tight smile and say “excuse me” anytime she tries to approach you. You don’t have to be nice to her and I wouldn’t be either. You can be polite without being friendly and they aren’t owed a spot in your life. If she continues to try to take your mom’s place outside of the funeral, I would take that time to put a stop to it. She has no right to request anything from you or your family.
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I’d just put your feelings aside for the time being.
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Grit your teeth and bear it. Tell her I don’t wish to talk to you and then walk away.
If she does find a way to talk to you I would be honest and say “With all due respect, this is not the time or place where I would like to speak with you.”
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The funeral is to honor your Nana not deal with past grievances. Yrs, how they got together was disrespectful of your mom. And I wouldn’t have my kids calling her by the same name either. Eventually you will need to sit down with the two of them and peacefully talk about all the hurt and betrayal or you or your kids will never have a relationship with your father. And as my family grows smaller I find that I may never forget old hurts, but I can move past them to keep people in my life. I wish you well.
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I’d just be there entirely for you’re nana and completely ignore the both of them. I’m the kind of person that would walk the opposite way if I caught someone walking toward me I didn’t wanna speak to.
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For the sake of your nan I would bite my tongue I lost my dad 2 months ago and for the sake of him I bit my tongue for him
Act like she’s not there and walk away . You’re there for your nana not her . Don’t give her the time of day or satisfaction of knowing she upsets you. But if you don’t like her for those reasons I hope you’re holding dad accountable too. Just act like they’re both not there . Don’t talk to either of them
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U say she knew your dad was married, your Dad knew he was married too, I would just be cordial to them both pay my respects and be on my way, Sorry for your loss
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Ah you can’t talk to dad and forgive him if you can’t the lady…evidently you’re grown and can realize dad wasnt 'innocent either…
If this lady makes your dad happy then let her…lifes to short dad wont be here forever…
And believe me I know exactly how this is…
My dads gf when mom passed away from cancer was very good to him and made him happy …so if he was happy I was happy for them…she wasnt trying to replace my mom bc that isn’t possible…
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I recommend you take the high road and handle things with quiet dignity. Keep your boundaries in place but do not make a scene because this is about honoring your Nana. Be loving to your family and show a maturity that sets an example for your children.
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Oh hell no, I’d definitely not talk to either one of them. What a sick POS woman.
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Be cordial at the funeral service, at a later time I would definitely address both your Dad and his GF. Demand answers from them both. But not at your grandma’s funeral you have more class than that, no drama.
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Be respectful, just try to remove yourself from any situation they are in. Walk away, be the better person.
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I think the adult way to handle it is that you be polite. Treat it like business- don’t go out of your way to speak to them. Just don’t show out & embarrass yourself or your kids by being rude.
I would not engage, if she approaches you I would say I would love to talk but I just saw “insert name” and I need to speak to them.
I would say hello to your father, he’s still your father. But you don’t need to go out of your way.
Your feelings are valid and you are going for your nana, no one else.
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