Grow up it’s your Nana’s funeral not your revenge platform
Life goes on. You will be the one who is short changed if you hold onto this resentment. The whole family is affected when there are hard feelings for any reason. I think it would be better if you thought maybe your mom would like your dad to be happy. Try.
Yes just do your own thing. I lost my husband of 41 years 12 years ago. It was very hard for me to get back out there. But I certainly waited at least two and s
Half years before meeting somebody. W?behave been togetherveight
You are there out of respect for your your grandma not them. Have respect for your self and be there for you . This woman has no say over you and your own family. Cheating is cheating.
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You should really be mad at your dad if anything he’s the one who had a family and knew exactly what he was doing.
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ya be short an civil civil for the kids sake, they do no have to call the same name as your Mum, bring it p with your Dad and come up with a name that’a work for everyone.
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Have no words for her or to her. Honor your grandma. Teach your children how to behave in public.
Remember she to will pass
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It’s about Nana … Give NO Energy to Negativity!!!
Smile & Keep it Moving
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Its not what you say back but how you say it. Be assertive and honest and let it rest. Life is too short for grudges.
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To smile sweetly is the best If they are trying to be by mean it frustrates them if they are trying to be nice then you move on
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Well one the problem is your father he’s the one cosigning, guiding and allowing it all to happen. I say roundhouse kick to the chin for your old man and a swift back of me hand to his wife and blame it on the stress and then go home 
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If she approaches you…just say I cant talk to you right now and walk away.
Hold your head up. With pride for your grandmother
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Tell her to fuck off, her and your dad
A funeral is not the time or place ,You do not have to say anything to anyone you don’t want to , If she come up to you just put up your hand and say Not Today and walk away or turn and speak to someone else
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Grow up and act like you’re the bigger person be nice be decent it’s a funeral for God’s sake I’m sure your nana would want you to act like a fool so don’t be courteous be kind
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It’s your Nanas funeral. Do not let her make you feel any type of way. If anyone deserves to be there it’s you.
I’d just say I’m grieving right now and I’d rather not talk right now.
I repeat though;
DO NOT LET HER MAKE YOU FEEL LKKE THE ODD ONE OUT OR ANY TYPE OF WAY. This is your nana and your final goodbyes.
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Omgawd that is soooo damn hurtful. That is such a low act from your dad. Couldn’t he have supported your mum through that instead of being so damn self centred. I would be so angry. And now this stupid new woman was wanting to be part of the family. Well heck no! It’s like he let go of your mum like it was so easy. Didn’t even grieve. Surely she meant more to him then that. Maybe you need to tell your dad how you really feel, how he acts like your mum meant nothing and just went and got a replacement. I wouldn’t make a scene at the funeral. But I would go for the love of your grandmother. And do as the others said dismiss her, put a high five to her face and say not today. If you’re dad had of gone about it the right way, it would be a different story. It’s like you lost your mum and dad that day. I’m so sorry.
Be the daughter your mother raised,be polite. Than walk away. You be the better person.
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If you have that much hate dont go
Just do a polite hello then move on, you don’t have to have conversations with her.
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Go…don’t talk to her…she doesn’t deserve respect from you…talk to dad but not her…she brought it on herself…you only have one dad
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Kill her with kindness. You don’t have to like her but it says a lot about your character of you can’t be cordial. You don’t have to engage with her but you don’t have to be ugly either.
Ignore her. Be civil. AND ignore her. Tell your kids to be civil. But you Don’t have to talk to her
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I’d straight up ignore and not even acknowledge her! She deserves nothing from you!!!
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Try and be kind to her, your dad loves her. You may alienate him from your life.
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If it were me, I’d just say “No thank you” if she approached me and walk away. You’re there to say goodbye to your Nana, not engage in some bs with someone you don’t have a relationship with. But hug your Daddy because life is too short 
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Go. If this woman tries to talk to you walk away. You could say “I have nothing to say to you”
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Stare her down and walk away, in your mother’s memory.
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You should go, this burden is all on her don’t try to put it on you. Your are there for one reason , when she speaks to you , tell her you are not there to engage in conversation or anything else with her.
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For the people saying ignore the woman u are all encouraging this craziness. Your dad is the problem not the woman. If he loves her and moved on try to be there for him. It’s a funeral so definitely not the time to start drama or have issues with people. I would try to just accept things for your kids sake and let it be. I know it sucks but it’s not only the woman’s fault
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I’m so confused why the dad’s new wife is the issue…did the dad get any of the blame for not withholding his vows to the previous wife. I would be mad at the dad not the new wife. And yes just go there pay your respects and be on your way unless you are looking for a altercation to take place.
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Don’t you cheat yourself out of saying goodbye to your Nana. You have no obligation to extend courtesy during this time of grief in the family. If you choose not to engage, it will most likely be to your benefit by keeping your blood pressure and an emotionally volatile situation calm. Carry yourself with dignity and grace and welcome the condolences of those who you know truly love and care about you. I would avoid her like the plague. This will be your time and day to say goodbye.
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Your dad cheated too, he knew he was married and he knew your mom was sick.
It sucks. People make horrible mistakes sometimes. You can carry it like a chip on your shoulder or you can judge people forever for a mistake.
I think it stinks that your kids have probably had to hate them or her too. That’s a tough lesson for them to learn.
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wll, for one do u know the conversation your dad had with your mother? u know it could have been that your mom wanted your dad to move on -u honestly don’t know this !i bet that your dad feels guilty , but in his own terms is starting to accept the fact that his first wife is really gone! but for u what i would do is just go to the funeral to be there for your kids and your dad - not this new wife of his, and if u encounter with his new wife just tell her calmly that u can’t and won’t accept her and to leave herself out of your kids lives even when u talk to your dad
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Go to nanas Funeral. Pay your respects, Don’t let a Disgraceful Woman ruin who you are, keep your distance if you cannot handle your emotions towards her.
Your saying goodbye to a loved one. My sincere condolences 
.
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Forgiveness is hard however for your sake try and forgive both. You don’t have to be best buds but be civil. Hatred hurts you more than them so take a breath decide to do your best as you only have a few more years with your father. Don’t lose them.
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Politely say “I’m not here to make friends or amends with you, I’m hear to mourn the loss of my nana, please respect that.” And walk away
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You’re placing blame on the wrong person. Your father is the one you should be angry with. What a terrible person to do that to your mother 
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I would straight up just ignore her
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If you see her coming toward you give her your back
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Go to pay your respects to your Nana. Just Ignore them. This is an issue with your Dad that you are not acknowledging its not just with his new wife. He betrayed your Mother as well as she did. I wouldn’t give Either of them the time of day!
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I am so sorry! Rebeca
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No law states you must have anything to do with her under any circumstances
Go and spend time with the rest of your family and friends so you can share stories and treasured memories
Stay away from this woman and your dad for what they did to your mom
Niether you nor your kids need that influence in your lives
P.S
I’m so very sorry for your loss
Remember
Forever in your mind
Forever in your heart
Forever alive
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Honor and respect your nan, your mum and yourself by ignoring her and her bs. Show everyone that your mum raised a well mannered and respected woman. Then in private tell her and your dad to bite your bum. Make it clear that she is not and will not b a part of your family. If she startsca conversation or approaches you just hold ur head high and walk away. Everyone else already knows she a slug and they will b absolutely understanding of your strength of character in a difficult situation. There’s no need for you to drop to her level.
I am sorry for the loss of 2 beautiful women from ur life.
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Its not about you, its a funeral, death of your Nanna, hold your head up , ignore her if you have too. Enjoy the memories with family and friends. Then walk away happy that you went.
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Ignore them and if they keep pressing say you are mourning.
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What they both did was horrible,but think only of your Nana. She is the one you are honoring. If they engage you in conversation talk only about your Nana. She is the one you are there for. Like Barbara said, leave as quickly as possible. If you can do it, forgive them. They have a hold over you they were never intended to have. This doesn’t mean you have to be around them or talk to them. I know from experience,it will set you free.
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Shelly I liked your answer
Pathetic especially on your Dads part as he is the one that made a vow to your dear Mother. If he says anything about the
situation, just be brief but honest. As an adult, he had to realize his actions would cost him
your love and respect.
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I wouldn’t let her stop me from attending and I’d grit my teeth and bare it and pay your respects otherwise you’ll regret it if you don’t go
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My mom had a horrible relationship with her family, except her father. When he passed she went to the funeral and when people tried to talk to her she told them she was there to celebrate the life of her father, not talk about their drama. I think something like that would work wonders!
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Sounds like your holding her responsible but not your dad … either way your not there for them so ignore them don’t make a scene
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Just tell her that you don’t agree with the strain she put everyone under at such a difficult time and you won’t forget that, but for the sake of the day you won’t cause a scene.
And by the way my kids will never be calling you by the same name as their special Nana.
You don’t ever have to condone what they did. That was beyond the pale. But for your sake and the kids you should try to get past it even if it’s only for your kids and their grandpa. I’m really sorry your going through this. We had something similar in our family where my mum was hooking up with her man within 6 mths of her 2nd husband’s death. We all hated it but have moved on. We haven’t forgotten about it but for all concerned it’s worked out better to move on.
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Just be very cold. Their grandpa felt the need for a new person.
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Turn away if they approach you…but go to the funeral…sorry this has happenned…
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Its not about you. Its about nana. Get over it,life is too short to to hate. Itll eat at your soul. Ignore them both.
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Grit your teeth May I ask why your not so angry with your dad as it sounds like the affair was not one sided It’s your nana’s funeral so be the bigger person
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You should be mad at Dad. Cheating isn’t just on the spouse; it’s on the whole family. Life is too short to expend the amount of energy you stated for someone you don’t like. Let it go & be a lady whenever y’all are together. You never know what Dad told her regarding his marriage. Also remember, your children are watching and learning. Maybe y’all 3 can have an overdue, peaceful conversation so you can move forward.
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Audra Benson Allen i am also sorry to hear of the passing of your Nana. There is never an easy way to deal with stuff like this. Imo you should be civil with all for the day even though your heart wont be in it. Just remember whatever way you decide to handle it - you do not want this to be eating at your soul in the long run. Think of all the good times and hold that close to you.
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Perhaps you can call your dad and ask him to let his wife know to keep her distance as you are grieving for your Nana. If that doesn’t work and she comes up to you at the funeral, you should let her offer her condolences and then turn and walk away. If she says anything more, such as if she asks why you and the kids have not called, you give it to her straight: she is not your mom, she isn’t entitled to use the name your kids called your mom, you want your kids to remember their grandmother and not blot out her memory, and she needs to stop being disrespectful to your mom’s memory. I hope you can say this in a matter of fact manner and not raise your voice but if you have to speak a tad loudly to make your point or to tell her to stop talking to you and to leave you alone, go for it. You don’t want to make a scene but you do need to put an end to her disrespectful behavior. You already know she’s a selfish person who has no feelings for anyone except herself, so don’t feel badly if you have to softly but clearly tell her to shut the f**k up. Whatever comes out of your mouth, she will have earned it and then some. You are the better person.
I’m so sorry your Nana has passed. I’m sure it is a comfort and a blessing that your children got to know her. I hope you are able to remember the pleasant times you had with your Nana and that those memories bring comfort to your heart both now and in the future.
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She’s weird, just be cordial cut any contact short
Tell them both too fuck off.
Be there for your Nana. I know there is a lot of bitterness there, but I don’t think that is the time to engage. If she tries to talk to you, just tell her that this isn’t the time and you just need some space to grieve. I’m sorry all of this is happening. I hope one day things can be worked out 
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I hate that people say “it wasn’t her fault it was his” or “she didn’t cheat or owe your mom loyalty, he did” that’s bull crap and we all know it…. a woman who KNOWS a man is married and who knows their wife is sick and still decides to take part in a side relationship is NOT A GOOD PERSON. PERIOD. She isn’t. i’m sorry to say that but there’s no way a good hearted human being would take part in anything that would or could destroy a family or hurt someone who is terminally ill!…. I know men lie to these side chicks and say “i’m gonna leave her i’m just staying for the kids” or “i’m leaving but wait till she’s not sick” or “i’m not in love and I don’t even sleep with her” blah blah blah blah blah. who believes that crap?! No man is FORCED to stay with their wife. And if they are forced then they need to seek help from the authorities cause as far as i’m concerned the only way you’re forced is if someone is threatening yours or your loved ones lives…
so no. if a married man wanted to be with me, the first thing I would do is contact his wife. and if she says “oh we’re planning a divorce” then fine. talk and be friends until he’s out of the house and divorced. whatever. but if the wife BELIEVES they are married and okay…. and is heartbroken by the cheating… then what kind of “woman” would continue that crap?! a crappy kind of woman.
so feel however you feel at the both of them all you want. don’t talk to them. avoid them. grieve your nana. and go on with your life after. if it hurts you and makes you uncomfortable to be near this woman, don’t be near her. protect your heart just as i’m sure your momma would’ve loved to protect hers if she knew and was given that option. I can’t stand cheaters. there’s not a reason in this world to cheat. leave…. that’s all you gotta do. being a snake isn’t okay
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I’m really sad to read this !! It’s absolutely awful what your dad did ! But would you want him sad on his own as you don’t live near ??
Pay your respects but my no means do you need to be respectful to her. She can kick rocks
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Pay your respects for the deceased, hello and goodbye thats it! If your dad asks why, tell him! She is not your mother nor the kids Grandma and you prefer to keep your distance!
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As the saying goes ‘keep your friends close and your enemies closer’……
personally you could kill her with kindness … reverse psychology… or totally ignore her … which I have to admit I would probably go for…….
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Grief causes people to act in many different ways and THAT is excusable.If this previously “uncaring” person approaches you,just tell her that you are having trouble dealing with your grandmother’s death "right now’and excuse yourself from her ‘presence’…You have every RIGHT to walk away from her…JUST DO IT…and “worry about it”… later.
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You need to grow up. Your dad’s entitled to be happy. You don’t need to like her but your dad’s at fault also and there’s nothing wrong with being polite. My husband is a step father to my kids though they don’t call him dad they are never nasty and my grandkids call him grand dad
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Kill ‘em with kindness honey! Learn to forgive them both not for their sake but for your own peace! They will be dealt with later on judgment day!!! Plus remember how she got him well that’s how she will lose him! God has your back 
Yes… ignore and if she tries to talk… hand to the face… and a simple… no thanks.
Be nice and civilized but also be aloof and keep your distance. I’m sure she will realize that you’re not very thrilled with her, she may get the message that way.
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Politely for your sake tell her to piss off
Here in the South, we would just ignore her as if she was not even there. Don’t neglect your dad, please … he’s all you have left, but you do not have to be “nice and civilized” as someone said unless you really feel you have to handle it that way. And never apologize for your feelings ~ you have a right to be upset. I would be.
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I’m sorry for your loss.
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Be cordial but not friendly. Don’t strike up a conversation with her. Remember why you are there. The affair is not just her fault. Your dad played a big part in it.
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Do you hold the same feelings towards your dad? It takes two to Tango
I’d have to tell her how I feel.
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Strongly, agree in the surface both is guilty of cheating, especially the husband. However, below surface, Strongly disagree because don’t know him and his new wifey as a character and story. Also, story of her mom’s and what is spoken between the father and/or if met the new wifey, as well behind close door.
Here’s why…many people not only have two sides of a story however a secret mutual agreement close door many people many times promise to tell after or take to the grave which can make everyone assume literal and/or interpretation context: cheating mean?! And, to hate the father, the new wifey, both, or one is forgiven while the other is not.
For her when it comes to peace just attend the funeral in respect and peace, advance and clear communication to father about of don’t have to speak to her and if don’t want to talk to her talk to dad about her of your wish of its not the time or to force children to call her of what she wants to be call let you or the children come in your own time, at own time will like to address both,hear both story, and forgive if can’t with her for you and do not punish your kids from seeing your father because of her or them bonding with her in their own time.
If one gives an answer before s/he hears, it is her/is folly and shame.
agree make anyone assume wrong.
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You do realize it takes two to cheat. Your dad is just as guilty. If you forgave your dad maybe it’s time to let go and try to move past all that. Be nice to her.
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Remember you’re there for your Nan, to say goodbye. Just ignore or smile and occupy yourself elsewhere. Deal with the family drama another day. You can be polite without being friendly and you will regret getting in to a fight on such a day
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So I will just say that we had a passing on my bfs side and there was a member there I will, by no means, ever forgive. I ignored her. She tried hugging me and I just gave her that scoffed smile/look like “you really got me fucked up” and pushed on past her. Just do the same. No one has a right to tell you how to feel (if they try to). And if she tries to talk to you, really what would she do if you literally just walk past her as if she doesn’t exist? She will probably give you the space you want. And if she doesn’t she’ll be caught looking like the one who’s badgering you at a funeral. BUT, if you want to tell her how you feel then rip into her about it. You lost respect for both of them for very valid reasons.
Be the bigger person you can be cold but it is a sad day and emotions run high. Not the place to confront her. Just acknowledge her but you do not have to be warm and fuzzy unless you are willing to truly accept her. Be cordial as you can.
I’m a redneck,you don’t want my opinion
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Be a bigger person than she is what goes around comes around
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Grit your teeth and love your grandmothers memory. Karma will get her. Believe me.
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It’s a funeral. People are inappropriate as can be at funerals. I say let her have it, once and for all and tell her - in front of everyone- exactly why you find her repulsive! Let loose with it. You will settle her $hit down, toot sweet.
You show your children what being respectful is even when someone has disrespected your feelings and relationships amongst your family. You let your children get love by their family while you support that love and be there for you family during the loss of a loved one. You show kindness to all and ask how they have been. You discuss how well the children have been doing, you use this time to relate to you dad losing his mom because you too have lost yours. People make mistakes but do mean well overall.
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I’d be way more upset with my dad
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I agree i would be very hurt by what he did he could have at least waited until she passed away show your respects to your mother but try and keep a distance from your dad until he finally apoligies for the hurt you feel for what he did to your mom shame on himso sorry for you
Hopefully she will respect your Granma and stay away. Leave it to her Family. Sorry for your loss such a “Hard” one God Bless You All 
Watch some docus to kill the bitch 
Sweetie go and pay your respects to your nana. Stay at a hotel and tbh if she approaches you; let her know how u really feel about her. But karma will return to her for what she has done
My deepest condolences,and a funeral isn’t a place to air any of this.After the funeral I would let her n your father know how you felt n still feel bless you.
tell her to get lost. tell she aint related to you, just your idiotick father. if he should even be called that.
I have this with my xs wife I just walk away
You show your children what it means to be the bigger person and put your feelings aside there’s a time and place for everything and Nana’s funeral is not the time nor place after the funeral is a different story tho js 
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