U must go to the funeral lv,but u are not obligated to speak to anybody if u dnt want ,stay strong,hold ur head high,and do it for nanna,sending love.x
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That’s bloody awful! How heartless of them both. If they try to talk to you just politely tell them you are there for your Nana and nothing else and walk away.
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Do what is in your heart. If there is really such anger and hatred for this woman just acknowledge it to yourself and let it go. Don’t be rude but don’t be chummy either. If she tries to manipulate you or goad you, be honest and tell her right off to stop and to leave you alone.
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Be polite but avoid contact as much as possible. Remember people will be watching. Don’t do anything that in years to come it could be said your behavior was a disgrace to Nana and her memory. Remember you are there to honor her. You don’t have to be in contact with them. Remember this too shall pass.
I’m very sorry for your loss. You will be in my thoughts and prayers
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you need to work on you you have your anger at the wrong spot. you are mad at her but your father is to blame but you are okay with him that is the issue. you blame your father for Nothing
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U have the right to tell her how u feel
Open communication with ur dad and her is best…why should you put ur feelings aside , they hurt u…tell them…it’s YOUR NANAS funeral…don’t let her control the situation… sorry for the loss
I get not liking your step mom but it takes two to cheat. If you’re mad at her for the affair you should be mad at your dad too
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Sorry for your loss but do not make it harder on yourself or your Dad by causing a scene.
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Don’t waste your energy hating only person who your hurting is you . They probably dont care . Just go and be as civil as possible
If she tries to talk to u just walk away or just tell her to not talk u and to leave u alone
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Find a reason to be somewhere else if she gets in your face.
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Just tell her to buzz off and maybe your father too
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Be mad at your dad… yes he’s with her but he’s the jerk (her too, but him first) … you can be cordial but not friendly (that’s how I would do it…and I would tell my dad that I am mad at him for what HE chose to do to you & your mom…
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Just smile politely and use one word answers. Then extricate yourself quietly from her.
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Be an adult. Be civil. The situation is definitely sad, and you do not have to agree with how they came to be together. They will obviously come up to you, he is your father and the grandfather of your children. She will most likely with him. Don’t disrespect your Nana’s memory by acting foolish at her funeral. Also, depending on the kind of person she is, that could be exactly what she’s hoping for to make you look like the bad one - OR, and probably not a popular opinion, she could be an amazing woman who fell in love with someone who, although quite sad to think about, was not happy in his current life.
What he did was utterly wrong on many levels, but you need to either forgive and move on, or cut ties permanently.
Either way, you need to act like a grown up. Good luck c
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Smile and be polite. Being polite is especially important for people you don’t like. Keep it short. After 2-3 minutes excuse yourself to go talk to someone else. Dealing with toxic people is difficult. If you find yourself being uncomfortable then again excuse yourself and go talk to someone else. Have a signal with your husband so he can come rescue you if needed. Also have a phrase to say to him if you feel you must leave. Practice beforehand saying hello and small talk with her.
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You need to cut your anger in half and be mad at your dad too. Both of them are at fault here. Him for cheating on your mom and his new wife for allowing herself to be the other woman knowing he was married. If she tries to engage you in conversation say a quick hi and then communicate with others around you. Then if time permits before you go home, talk to them and tell them exactly how you feel. If they don’t like it or don’t want to hear it, go NC with them.
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Is your anger worth more than being there at your Nana’s funeral? Is it worth taking away your grieving time? Keep conversation minimal and pay attention to yourself, your kids, extended family. She’ll get the hint. And if she keeps pushing the envelope say sternly that this isn’t acceptable and not what your there for.
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I would text your dad in advance telling him you’re there for the funeral and to make sure she understands you need your space. You have every right to hate her, she didn’t respect your mother, don’t let her disrespect you. She’s a career home wrecker, she and your dad caused your mother so much pain, now shes getting off on the fact that she’s pushing you away from your dad. Although I don’t understand how you can forgive your dad, he was married to your mom, it wasn’t her responsibility to be faithful to your mom. If it were me I’d cut them both out, go to the funeral, and ignore the evil jerks.
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Be the bigger person here. Yes, your feelings are absolutely understandable, but your nana’s funeral is not the time or place. Set a good example for your kiddos.
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Sorry for you loss, but do you want to lose your dad over this woman? Personally I would just be myself and look through her(like she wasn’t even there).
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The love and respect you have for your grandmother should out weigh your feelings toward your step mother
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A funeral is not the place to be disrespectful. Talk to her but no hugs or just try to stay away from her.
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I’d respect her But I would Never let my kids call her grandma Never.and she is Not
your stepmother I would call her by her name.
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It’s both of their fault this happened.Ive been through the same thing except my mother chose to shoot herself.We grew to love the woman .She was good to us all as we grew up and had children She suffered with cancer on and off and finally passed away after they were married 47 years
Sorry for your losses 
Do what your Nan would do. Was Nan a lover of getting petty? because oh am i a sucker for a good petty show! if its something your Nan would do with a smile on her face… you would only be honoring her memory. I love to look at someone and be like “thats nice” 
and walk away while they are mid convo… idgaf! But if your nan was the sort of person to just be nice to everyone, just do what she would want for the day! 
that’s the only advice i have. Just get through the day making her proud one more time handling the situation as she would.
Everyone saying be mad at your dad too…
But maybe you don’t need to be mad at all.
Do you know what the marriage was like before your mom passed? Maybe… just maybe… it was a long time coming? Maybe dad stayed with mom because she was sick vs getting divorced (like perhaps he would have if she was in good health). Adult relationships are complicated and not there for us to judge even if it’s our parents.
I’m just saying that your perception of the situation may be different than what actually happened and you’re wasting a lot of time being angry when you could have a good relationship with dad and wife.
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I would definitely go in respects to your Nana. You don’t have to acknowledge her. Your Dad is at fault too. Just be there for your Nana.
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Honestly ignore her that day is in honor of your gmom don’t let her ruin it sounds like she’s done that enough already… and my sincere condolences
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It’s both their faults. You’re their for your nan. Not your dad and stepmom.
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You be an adult 
Grown woman with your own kids and you can’t figure that out in your own…?
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Don’t handle her at all. She knows how things went down and she should respectfully keep her distance. If she doesn’t, don’t make a scene just smile and politely say “I don’t wish to speak to you” and walk away.
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I would do my best to get to my dad Alone, maybe even a day early if possible. . Talk it out… maybe you’ll learn more details than you know… yes, you know they were having an affair & mom was sick. Ask why??? You’re grown, were you then? Were you young & maybe didn’t know they’d already grown apart Before she was sick? Calmly tell him your version, maybe, just maybe, there’s a side you’ve never known… if not, go for your Grandmother & the love you have for her, tell dad to have his wife back away on of all days This One!!! Don’t approach you or the kids, have him deal with her… if you’ve misunderstood, maybe after the funeral, everyone can try to heal. . . .
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I’m very sorry about your nana please accept my sincerest condolences
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Be the bigger person I know it can be hard but show ur kids the real way of acting u be a responsible adult and teach ur kids right let her make a fool of herself
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It’s not about you, you’re not there to argue with your dads wife. That’s just petty and plain rude too your nana, if you can’t go and be nice, don’t go at all
You either:
- Stand up to her AND your dad at the same time and bluntly tell them both your feelings. She is not your mother. She should not be asserting herself to you or your kids the way she’s doing it. Tell them you want to be involved with them as a family, but you aren’t going to put up with any BS. Cut them off if, in the future, either decides to go against your wishes out of spite or whatever
…or…
- She’s a ghost. She’s invisible. She doesn’t exist. You aren’t there to converse or play nice with her. You’re there to grieve your grandma. Make it about that and don’t focus on anything else. If she starts talking to you, walk away or tune her out, whatever you gotta do.
Idc what anyone else says. Idc what your parents’ marriage was like, whether or not it was bad or toxic… you don’t CHEAT on someone else, PERIOD. There is literally NO reason or excuse one could come up with that could possibly condone cheating. I would have just as many negative feelings toward your father, if not more, than your stepmother.
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You are going to pay your respect for your Nana, sorry for your loss, ignore the new wife, hopefully she will have enough respect for the occasion and not want to cause a scene.
For your grandmother be polite to her. If she tries to talk about what happened tell her it’s not the time or place. I’m sure everyone knows who & what she is
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Not the time or the place to get into it. Just walk away quietly. It takes 2 to argue.
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Grit your teeth that’s his mom
Just say I’m not here for small talk I’m here to say goodbye to my loved one. I will come to you in a different setting and situation if I feel the need to talk to you.
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Just politely ask her to RESPECT your privacy & space & have a good day. Honor your grandma sweetie 
Good luck
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Unfortunately funerals are not the place for arguments. I would avoid her as much as you can so she still gets the point
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Gee id be mad at my dad to not just the wife they both cheated on your mum ignore both your not there for them
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Be the bigger person… But dont stay there… When she starts dumb stuff… You have to go… Big smile. And walk off. That would no be something i forgot easily either.
You grin and bear it to show this new wife and the world that you will honor and respect your Nana. No good can come from acting childish at a funeral that is supposed to be paying tribute to the departed. If she comes up to you, you behave like a lady, be brief and move on. You know that’s what your Nana and your Mom would have expected of you. God Bless your Mom and Nana. <3
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You will be there for your grandma, just be polite , if she makes you uncomfortable just walk away from her
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hes withd her not your deseased mom let him live his life go on with yours lot easier life lol
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Get therapy to help you deal with their betrayal. If you can reframe, forgive, or get past this, you will feel better. We all need a big “village” to help us with our kids, so if your dad & his wife can be good grandparents (find a name for his wife you can live with: GiGi, Meemaw, Oma, Nona, G-ma (First name)) learn to accept them.
Once you are not so white-hot angry and you have moved through some of your grief for your grandmother and mother, sit down and have an adult discussion with your dad & his wife. Tell them how you feel, hopefully they can provide some background & an apology. See if you can have them come to an appointment with your therapist so you can get everything out in the open without resorting to yelling like 3-year-olds.
Not sure how soon the funeral is, but give a heads-up to your dad to have him & especially his wife keep away from you at the funeral until you can deal. Make sure if there’s a seating plan for after the service y’all are separated.
Good luck!
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Silence speaks volumes
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First of all, I am so sorry for your loss. I think you should speak to your Dad about this and tell him how you feel. In person. Just the two of you. There may be things you don’t know about that whole situation. Again. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Avoid her and walk away and tell her if she would like to discuss it outside you’d be willing to tell her and be sure and tell her honestly bluntly what your issues are with her and that you have no respect for her
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Straight up tell her you are not there for her and go about your business. After when you are talking to your dad let him know you and your kids are going to have nothing to do with his wife. Be straight up and honest. Period. Or she’ll keep on
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Sorry for your loss, Prayers for you!
Be polite and walk away.
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Why don’t you hate your dad just as much? He is just as much to blame as she is. Seems one sided if you ask me. And why can’t you be an adult about it. The funeral is for your nana not a social event. Just be polite and pay your respects.
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If she comes and speaks to you, politely speak (hello) and walk away
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Wow, not going to hold your dad responsible at all??? She didn’t force him into a relationship, he cheated and was married, he was the irresponsible person
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Just be nice to her for the families sake
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Lots of answers. I agree with all of the alternatives. You are there for the deceased. And your dad. You dont need to linger. Leave when you want. Sorry for your loss
Be so nice that she feels bad lol
Awww 
even thru it all… if she loves your dad n treats him well… you don’t have to like her… just be polite.
The ugly feelings you are holding inside the hurt for what he done to ur mum… is only inside u… don’t start a war with yourself… because they really dgaf… it is only affecting you.
Don’t let her being there…affect you
Say hello, or whatever you need to say and move on and ignore her. Prob not the best time for drama so just keep your distance until it’s over
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Let it go their is nothing you can do it will eat you up
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There is only one person you should be focused on and that is Nana and how you want to have her remembered not your dad or step mom so bite your tongue and let it roll off your back. But after speak your mind, I’m so sorry for your loss of your Nana I hope your memories of her will be awesome because your kids need to enjoy them. .
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Shine on big an bright you got this just smile an be very polite .kill her with kindness then you sleep good at night
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You don’t know the ends and outs of your parents relationship. She was going through chemo and was sick. He needed some person to lean on. Maybe your mom knew. You will never understand their relationship. So sorry for your loss, but you have to look at it through adult eyes and not the eyes of a child. But yes to put the blame on this woman and not your dad is wrong. She is not a bad person to want to have a relationship. I do agree, she should have another name then what your mom was called. Best of luck to you all.
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I think you should go. Just ignore the evil step mom & grieve with those you love.
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Avoid her. If she tries to speak your nicely tell her “I accept you married my dad but we will not friendly or friends.” And walk away.
That’s it. No retorts, no arguing. You have to let go of your anger and be the adult. If you go off, it will be you looking like a fool. 
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You’re there to celebrate your Nanas life.
Be polite for the family’s sake.
I guess I’m a little lost on why you are so angry with this woman and not your dad. He also knew he was married to your mom when she was sick and remarried right after her death. It takes two to tango.
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First, i’m so sorry for the loss of your Mom. I couldn’t imagine losing my mom especially in your circumstances. I hope you’re healing well from losing her. Secondly. How terrible of your dad and his new wife. I understand your hesitation and  conundrum. I’m sure you’re dealing with the death of your mom and now your nana and then you have what you feel is the betrayal from your dad. I say when you go you just keep the conversation lite. Keep your distance as much as possible. I always say you never will regret being a bigger person. Even though you could be ugly and hurtful but it won’t make anything better. Especially at a funeral. You have every right to have ill feelings towards him and his wife. When someone hurts you they don’t get to decide that they didn’t. It’s your heart and life your trying to protect. Just try and think of what your Nana or Mom would’ve wanted you to do. Dig deep on that feeling and hold on to it. Hope everything goes well. Sending love 
Just tell her to back up out of your face! You don’t have to have anything to do with her!
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ITS About your NAN NOBODY ELSE i think your Dad has a amount of the situation , Just be polite an visulise she is invisable … Respect for Nan , be the bigger person … ALL THE BEST Sorry to hear about your loss . xxx
It’s not just this women but your dad to blame as well. Your dad was the one who owed your mother loyalty. This woman is a clown for even crossing that boundary. The biggest issue was your dad.
Personally would cut ties with both.
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It’s so so hard on you and I’m sorry for the loss of your Nanna. Is this your Father’s mother? Hate is no good and especially to you. If you just think of your Nanna and being respectful to her memory. Keep out of her way if you can and just be your lovely self. You don’t need to stay after funeral unless you would like to. People usually be at their best. God bless and you will shine xox 
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Be civil. That’s it. Hello/Bye/thank you. Don’t ask questions and just answer hers with short answers, no detail.
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This is NANA’S day, NO ONE ELSE 
. My deepest condolences
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I think you are taking all your anger out on this woman. Anger from your Mom’s illness and passing, anger of her being betrayed while sick and vulnerable and your Dad not mourning. Your anger should have been with your Father who started an affair while he had a terminally ill wife. Instead of giving your Mom 100% of his attention and love, he bailed. Your StepMom was probably thinking she was helping a hurting man and she was being his lifeline. If you can’t accept their behaviors and live in peace with them, just go to the funeral, pay your respects and leave. You do not have to do more than that.
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I would be polite but that’s it. Your nan’s funeral is not a place to start crap
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You have to go, but I would leave as soon as I could leave …Your father is as guilty as she is. I would not have anything to do with either of them.
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You suck it up and grind your teeth this is about your grandma not you.
You can be civil say hello pay your respects and go home.
Remember it’s Nana’s celebration of life,your dad’s new wife is irrelevant
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I once went to a funeral where some of my family didn’t speak to me and that’s ok because I wasn’t there for them I was there to pay respect to my grandmother and that’s what you can do ignore it and walk away
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keep your distance. surround yourself with people you get along fine with. You don’t have to speak to her or anything, you aren’t obligated to. If she starts walking towards your direction, go the other way or slip outside for some air or slip into your car for your own privacy.
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Keep in mind that she didn’t cheat on your mom, that is all on your dad! You need to be the grown up that your mom would be proud of and remember that you are there to honor your grandmother and nothing else matters. Pick a different place to hash things out with this woman.
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First of all….I am so sorry that your Gramma passed away.
Second of all……your rage should be directed at your dad not this woman. Your dad is the one that was married to your mom. It was his responsibility as a husband to not open himself up to an affair and hurt your mom. Yet he did it anyways. So if you want to be mad at anyone…first be mad at him.
Does she have a right to interrupt your children and try to force them to call her a specific name? No.
But try to realize she may not be going anywhere. and if she loves your children maybe you could try. Children can never have enough love.
You have no idea what your dad told her. Your dad could have lied to her also. You really have no idea.
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Ignore, do not engage her, walk away if needed
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I don’t understand why she is even going! No one would want to talk to her.
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Yes, grit your teeth.
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Grit your teeth. Be polite, treat her like a stranger.
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Do you think its possible your mum knew and encouraged your dad to meet someone else knowing she was leaving him soon ? That she didn’t want to leave him alone and grieving? That she knew he couldn’t cope alone ? It wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened
This is your Nanas funeral and its not the time for family Drama. Keep your self respect . Be polite but distant …but keep in mind that perhaps your mom approved
I’m very sorry for your loss
If she approaches you don’t say anything not the time or place just turn around and walk off
I would politely tell her that you don’t want a big deal made of it but they can both just go separate ways. You don’t need to be friends but you can keep it civil. Just tell her not to talk to you or your kiddos (if that’s what you want) her reaction or feelings are not your problem. I would actually visit first and try to not have this conversation at the funeral but if you must then there it is. Set your boundary and walk away.
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My mom died from cancer. If this had happened to me I’d feel like flipping the f out, especially with what she wants your kids to call her. Go and ignore her and use your family as a buffer so you don’t have to deal with her.
Keep your distance. Let your kids (if they are going) that they call her by her name if needed.
Surround yourself with family. If possible just let a family member (who you know won’t say anything) so that if she goes near you they can drag you away under the lines of haven’t seen you for ages or something. If she comes up to you don’t engage just walk away.
Keep your composure. Its about Nana. I absolutely understand how you feel. Just be the better person. And I am so sorry for your loss
This event isn’t about you guys, there is another time and place for all the drama. Just go see your nana and say goodbye or you’ll regret it. Good luck to you! 
Yes respect your nanna I know it’s hard
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