I am terrified! I left my daughter’s dad when she was 6 months old, I have been single since. She has never seen me around a man.
Mine met my 6 year old around that time but I had also known him since we were teenagers so had known each other for 7 years. Dated in the past but distance had been an issue. Mine is also a newer teacher so extensive background checks have been done (this year included since he started at a new school). We were exclusive already for months before they met and they only met as friends and we just went to some lakes to swim. If you aren’t exclusive, think you like him, and barely know each other than I give a definite no. If it weren’t for the fact that I’ve known my man for so many years I’d have never so soon
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I introduce my 6 year old daughter to a man I am interested in?
You make sure that he is interested in meeting her first.
Did u do a background check first
You think you really like him? Do NOT introduce him to your daughter
Slowly. As a friend. Trips to the park, McDonald’s trips, pizza
This is an iffy situation. Can you have him over while she’s asleep or at school /if public school/? I just don’t think it’s a good idea to introduce a guy you aren’t even officially with and one you “think” you like. I’d just be concerned about her getting attached before even being official and then him or you deciding it won’t work.
3 months? Uhm no…
You can always do video chats first to get them both comfortable and then let them meet when she feels up to it.
Meet at McDonald’s, any place to eat, the park ecttttt. Let them be friends before allowing him at ur place around ur child/children. JMO.
You need to wait longer.
Children should not meet anyone you are just interested in, if you are not in an exclusive relationship I wouldn’t have them meeting my child until at least 6 months of exclusive dating.
I had a similar situation. My sons dad and I split up when he was two, never really dated much. My son was 6 when I met my now fiancé. We had been dating around 6 months when I introduced them in public settings, first as friends, then as boyfriend and girlfriend. After about 8 months he began coming over and met my family as well. The two get along great now and are pretty much inseparable!
Wait a year & do a background check first. You hardly know him to subject her to him already.
I waited till I dated my bf for 6 months. We did a game night at my house with her fav pizza. She enjoyed beating him at war and connect 4! She talks about it everyday. She is 6 as well.
3 months. I wouldn’t!
Too soon to introduce
Ask him about himself know as much as you can ask about his family know as much about. The as you can if everything pans out then you let them meet see how it goes kids can’t take anything fast so go slow
When i did my daughter is 8 we went trail walking and to the playground
Imo 3 months is too soon to introduce
You are just talking,no relationship yet by the sounds of it so no you don’t. Children don’t need step parents comming and going. Wait till it’s serious
I’d tell him you have a child but would not introduce him until you know he is a sure thing.
I’ve been in the exact same position.I was also with him 3 months but I knew it was something special. Our first meet was by accident because we bumped into each other in town, so introduced as a friend first. Then we’d meet in town after that and gradually built to coming for tea n things went from there. Still together 11 years later
Give it time before you introduce them
To eachother. I would background check him. Last thing you want is for her to get attached to him and it not work out
Wtf!! 3 months …you don’t know him yourself let alone bringing him around your daughter…are you serious!!! Girl get your head out of the clouds and come back to reality…smh and you wonder why single moms end up in the papers because something happens to their kids🙄
My boyfriend and I waited till we were together 6 months BUT I knew him for almost 3 years before that.
Seems like enough time. Just let her know you are ALWAYS on her side and can always talk to her about anything. Make it clear that it’s always you two and if she has a bad feeling let her feel comfortable expressing that
3 months is too soon. Don’t introduce until you know it’s gonna last a long time!
Make sure he is single
Also make sure you do ALL checks
Police and social work
You can’t be to careful
So do a Clairs law on him with police
All the checks you can think of
Then maybe ask if he s willing to meet you outside a coffee shop and yous can take her for a hot chocolate and then maybe the park if nice or soft play if not nice weather? Xx
You THINK you really like him and that’s enough for him to meet your child? Maybe you should take some more time to see if you really like him.
Its way to soon.With my soon to be ex husband,I waited around 8 months before he met all of my children.
If you feel like it’s special great but does he? Are you both only talking to eachother? And are you sure what if he is and you let them meet. Then what happens if she loves him and turns out he is talking to other girls, then he starts to ghost you cus he likes someone else more. She will get hurt and that would be guy #1 out of her life. Always keep the kids out of it until it is for sure serious and want to move forward in the relationship
Hold up, on the play… 3 months? Haven’t spent much time together, and you only “think” you really like him? Nope, I absolutely wouldn’t yet. There is absolutely no reason to rush it, and that is a HUGE step, especially for your daughter!
There are people who have been with someone for years and still don’t really even know them. You need to dive into a good book about psychology and personality and learn to read him first. Too many people put their intuition on the back burner because their mind is clouded by a fantasy or trying to fulfill a need. Ask very deep serious question and don’t introduce the kids
stop bringing strange men around kids. This is how they end up abused. You’re not even dating him, should be at the very bare minimum 6 months of DATING, hopefully it’s more like 1 year of a relationship before introducing them.
If you just “think” you like him then definitely don’t need to be introducing to your child. I have 2 teen daughters and my husband and I dated for a while before he ever came into my home, when he asked me on our 1st date I wouldn’t even let him drive and I made him stay outside until I was ready bc the way I see that was my kids home and I didn’t want someone coming into it until I knew it could turn into something serious. Now nearly 4 years later we are married and expecting a baby girl
Start slowly in a neutral place. The park maybe. Keep the visits short and introduce him as afriend. Speak to her on her level ofunderstanding and leave open for questions. Dont tell her more than she asks as far as details. Children can sense when someone doesnt really like them so this could be a good test. You didnt mention if he has children of his own. That could be another thing to consider. Dont let him buy her gifts at first because achilds love and trust cant be bought. It has to be earned. I would do abackground check onhim as well. You cant be too careful these days. Listen to him close when he talks about his own mother. If aman doesnt respect the one who gave him life chances are he wont any other woman either.
Personally, a meeting is ok. No need to involve him in her life. So, go to dinner and leave it alone. Other than that, it’s perfectly fine to wait. Get to know each other. You said you don’t spend alot of time together, so how well do you know him??
It’s ok too take it slow. My husband and I were together a while before he hung out with me & my son. And I knew the day I met him I’d marry him.
You can just introduce him as a friend not a bf see how the interaction goes do a couple of outting with them both…your a mom your allowed friends despite what other people are saying on here… why wait longer then your attached and then maybe they dont get along or it doesn’t work out
I did it after 6 months, you take your time and if it feels right for you and your partner you do what’s right, but make sure he understands what part you want him to play, how you want him to be involved and talk to her first with just you let her understand who he is what he’s there for and set very clear boundaries, once everyone is on the same page and you want to take it to the next step then you do it, what works for you won’t work for someone else x
About the same as me and my daughter, I introduced as a friend, it’s been a few months now since the kids have met him and they’ve not so much as seen us hold friends.
Being on your own and not having a support network that enables you alone or date time is hard, I do think seeing a potential SO interact with your children is a good thing though as you can see if they’re going to get on, if he’ll make a good impact on their lives and make a judgement based on that too.
I mean you guys aren’t even officially dating per your letter and have barely spent time together which means stranger danger . Please don’t have your daughter around someone you barely know just because you want to be able to see him more, she shouldn’t be involved in your dating until it’s a serious relationship. As moms of small children our #1 job is to protect our kids.
If you only “THINK” you like him, its probably too soon.
If your not sure about him then it’s not a good idea it will hurt your daughter mentally or emotionally
If it’s not feeling like a natural instinct to do so then don’t if you have questions and cautions it’s for a reason follow your instinct it can never be too late but it can be too soon
Try a park date, introduce him as a friend. Then slowly go on from there. You don’t have to introduce him as a boyfriend untill your serious. Have him join you for a meal in a restaurant ect
Too judgy people! She’s been alone 6 years! She has a right to a little bit of love and certainly compassion from us. Who are all you perfect mums who do no wrong ever!!! Probably have partners and in a relationship with support and comfort. Lay off this poor lady!!!
Too soon. Women these days think they gotta jump into this stuff
You should get to know him better yourself before introducing your daughter to him. He might be a good man or he could be a monster. Always watch for signs when you have your children around anyone.
I have a one year rule. You make it a year you can meet my kids. I don’t see any reason for my kids to meet them sooner. Gotta make sure your relationship will go further 3m is not enough time
You don’t, 3mon is way to soon. You got plenty of time to be a happy little family.
Get a babysitter. Invite him over once your daughter is in bed and have dates in the living room, kick him out before she gets up. 3 months of just talking is way way too soon to introduce a child. You need to spend time with him and get to know him personally not just what he writes, says overthe phone, email, text (people can lie in person but it’s easier in writing or when not looking at you face to face) before bringing a stranger into your child’s life… think of your child not your “needs”
Wait like 4-6 months into your committed relationship with him before you introduce your child to him. I learned the hard way with my ex, my son was too attached and it broke his heart when we broke up. Luckily my son was 3 when it happened and doesn’t remember him. But I learned from that, never again.
I agree with the others, it’s way too soon to be introducing your child to anyone you dating for now, get to know him and spend time with him in person and see how it develops over time first before anything else, don’t rush things
It’s only been 3 months. Chill.
My boys were 4 and 2 when I got with my current partner. Wasn’t intentional that he meant them before we started dating. We were talking for about a month or so maybe 2. My husband at the time(we were separated and I was trying to get him to sign divorce papers) cancelled getting our kids. So my now partner said that’s fine do they like happy meals and apple juice? He brought food over for my family who was also over at my apartment. His choice solely and now here we are almost 5 years together. Engaged for almost 2. Sometimes life’s plans don’t go as expected. I would talk to your boyfriend about your daughter and catch his vibes before meeting her. Who knows they might love each other and he could be the best bonus dad ever for her. I know I got lucky!
If you are happy and feel ready then I would set up a date somewhere that you are comfortable with that they could meet. I was with my husband for 18 years and then stayed single for over 2 years. When I started dating I didn’t wait that long to introduce my daughter to my boyfriend. She absolutely loves him and we’ve been together 18 months. You will know when the time is right.
You don’t spend much time together.
I’ve been dating a man for six months now. He has yet to meet my children. When I feel like we can’t live without eachother and totally commit… then he will meet them.
Take your time. Learn him in all seasons. It’s still the honeymoon phase.
Nope, no and Defs not!!
3months isn’t long to “think you really like” someone enough to introduce them to your child!!! #no!!!
Do what you think is best. Why do you need our opinion.? I hope it works out for you all though we all deserve to be happy.!!! X
3 months isn’t enough time. Minimum of a year or 2 so you can see who the person really is
3 months is to early in my opinion, get a sitter and get to know him better in person, 6 or more months in a commited relationship would be more appropiate to start slowly introducing your child to him.
So basically he is a stranger? Girl you don’t even know him! Wtf?
You wait, until you’re officially together, then you wait a little longer to make sure it works and he’s ready for it. You don’t do what’s best for you or him, you do what’s best for your daughter. If he’s willing to put in the work and wait for the right time to meet her, that’s how you know he’s worth it.
I’d wait a little longer than 3 months…
I always wait until 6 months in. I would have a very serious talk with him about whether or not he feels you’re also at that stage. Discuss boundaries (no overnight, no punishments, just playing together in a neutral setting) and see what his comfort level is with children.
Then meet in a neutral setting. “Hey, would it be okay if my friend Bob came with us to the park today?”
After they meet, then ask what she thought and say “would you be okay if Bob hung out with us more?”
Remind her that she can tell you if anyone does anything inappropriate or is mean to her. Make sure she knows her body parts. That she knows to tell an adult if anyone tries touching her inappropriately. That you don’t keep secrets and if someone tells her to keep a secret from you, it’s a red flag and she needs to tell you immediately.
Always keep in mind that the mother’s boyfriend is statistically the most dangerous person to a child. I did everything I could to ensure that my son could communicate with me beforehand, and that every precaution was taken to ensure no one was ever alone with him or had access to him.
By being so cautious, the first time he ever truly knew someone as mh boyfriend, that man became his step father and father to his siblings.
Do not! Please do not.
Its been 6 years of being single… if she feels it’s time, who are yall to say it’s not?!
Spare her for getting to know this man, you yourself dont know enough about him since you see him infrequently, be smart spare her from this man
DONT DO IT!!! Wait a little longer. You don’t know who is undercover a child predictor. I say this from experience.
When l first met my current husband our 1st date was a drive in movie( yes l’m that old🤣) which included my son. We dated about a month before we got engaged. Got married a year later and have been married almost 32 years.
Please don’t be that mom. WAIT.
3 months isn’t enough time🤷🏼♀ I’d at least wait 6 months or more to actually make sure, and then slowly introduce them.
If you feel some kind of way I would suggest that you wait and get to know him a little more 3months could or could not be enough time to get to know someone but you can possibly find a babysitter for your daughter and go on a date with him he doesn’t necessarily need to know where you stay just yet
3 months is Too early to introduce her to him…
Statistics show you don’t fully know someone until you’ve been around them for 6 months.
Only you know when the time is right the only reason I say wait is because you said “ I think I really like him”. When you’re SURE that this is going somewhere and you both feel the same do it. But if you want them to meet now I’d make it really casual like you bump into him at the mall and see how they interact. It doesn’t have to be too extreme especially if she’s never seen you with a man you’re interested in before.
Good luck only you know when you’re ready
Id say its too soon …especially if you’re not seeing much of each other .
But maybe a compromise is possible.
Meet up and introduce him to your son as a friend . Spend time together and see how you all get on
No moving in or spending the night…just casual friends when your son is there .
Its not ideal but at least you get the chance to see how they interact and if the relationship is going to work before taking it further.
Its difficult when you have children. Obviously you’d like to have a partner in your life but it must be done slowly and your child must come first .
I honestly think it’s too soon. From what you’ve said, you barely know him. I was with my SO eight months and officially in a relationship before I let him meet my child. There are too many weirdos out there getting access to children. Please make sure you can fully trust him and it’s something that’s going to last before you involve your child!
Only you know when the time is right. Who is someone else to say it’s too soon?
I think it’s a good idea to go do something fun together. Something she likes to do. I would study how he interacts with her and if he makes a connection with her. You’ll know.
Wait till at least 6 months
When my husband and I started seeing each other my daughter was 3 going on 4. When I introduced my daughter to him he was introduced as my friend. We were together about 5 months before my daughter was told we were dating. My husband and I had been friends since high school. My daughter is now 6.
people will say it’s to early you could be with this guy for the rest of you life or you could break up in a week it’s not determined by how long you’ve been seeing him it’s based on how you both feel about each other
I would introduce him to her as your friend for now. Do not let anyone on here shame you into thinking its too soon or you’re a bad mom for it. I would just set boundaries with him on what is okay/ not okay to happen when you have your daughter with you such as no kissing etc until you feel comfortable enough in the relationship to tell her the truth
Introduce him as a friend so she doesn’t expect him to always be around.
Oh the Karen’s are out the right time is different for everyone depending on the person and the circumstance, personally I’d keep it casual and low key preferably in a group situation eg at a party you might both be going to or something. I introduced my boyfriend to my little one at a bonfire with loads of other people there. My kid never even knew he was my boyfriend he just saw him as another one of my mates… he did come round for tea a few times… and again my boy thought he was my mate. It didn’t work out and my kid isn’t scarred for life I think I would never let anyone be alone with my child until I knew them inside out but that’s not what your suggesting is it. As long as your there all the time and keep it friendly I don’t see the issue
Don’t yet! Haven’t u seen the ID channels?
Take it slow … I would wait until there is some sort of commitment. Do not move him in until you hear wedding bells.
Listen to Dr. Phil - it can be very scary for a child …
You don’t. 3 months is NOTHING wait. It’s far too soon
My husband met my son on our first date. My son came on our first date. We knew each other for probably 2 months before we tried to date. i introduced him as just mamas friend. But they became instant best friends. And now that’s the only daddy my son knows. left abusive baby daddy when he was 4 months old. He was 3 when he met my husband. I think this is important early because you can gage how the relationship looks and if it’s no good between him & your kid you don’t have to waste your time.
No your relationship has plenty of time to grow. 3 months? That’s still a stranger. Kids get attached easy. I’m a single mom, but if I ever do decide to date I absolutely won’t introduce my kids to ANYONE I don’t know things will be serious with. It could be a year of dating or longer. This world is cruel and there are so sick people in it. Guard your precious cargo and their hearts with everything you’ve got.
My suggestion, is to introduce them in a public place. I’m not sure where in the world you’re located, but if it’s warm where you are right now, take her to the park and have him meet you there. Introduce him as your friend, and see how they interact. Afterwards, ask her what she thought of your friend. If you’re somewhere where it’s cold right now and the park isn’t an option, take her to the mall, for whatever, and “run” into him. Invite him to have lunch with the two of you, and then do the same… “what did you think of my friend…”. Do this a couple of times so she can get used to him and then one day ask her “should we invite my friend over to have dinner and watch a movie with us”? Just make sure she is included in the decision to have him around.
Everyone saying don’t its too soon obviously isn’t living in reality.
“I THINK I really like him”, means you’re not 100% sure that he’s going to be someone consistent. I would wait til y’all got to know each other more and see where it’s definitely going
I wouldn’t introduce any man to my kids after only 3 months. That’s way too soon. Your daughter should come before a new relationship.
Just introduce him casually and let their relationship grow naturally. No pressure. Just introduce him as a friend and then let him start coming around more as time goes on.
Still too early to be introducing him.
wait until you have established a really good relationship with this man. When you are sure it will go farther than just seeing each other every so often. Your daughter deserves more,
dont rush on the meeting especially sense only been 3 months.i have a daughter from a past relationship even though she was a teenager at time with my current she didnt meet my current till we were maybe 6 mths in and wasnt gonna even gonna introduce then but got to meet by accident and we have been together 12 yrs now.