For those of you who’ve decided to not have more kids, can you give me your reasoning etc? I’ve been struggling hard to decide if I only want the 1 I have or if we should have more. TIA!
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I know if I should have more kids or not?
Iv got two I’m stopping because I can have a life now
Treat the kids to more days put
Keep my body in OK condition so I feel good about myself
My thought process to this was that siblings learn so much more from each other than a single child does. Also I will not be on this earth forever and I didn’t want to leave my child alone.
I have 4 kids. The last one I was in my 30’s and almost lost us both. Yup, I’m done
I have always wanted max of 4 kids I grew up with 5 siblings and u loved it I have 2 right now and my kids have a great bond
Mines four almost five…I was done. That’s way to big of an age gap…also. The world sucks and bringing anymore in when it’s not affordable is just a shitty thing to do
In my honest opinion, only have as many kids that you can afford to live comfortably. I chose to have max 2 kids, only because that’s what I know we can afford and still live comfortable, happy and with extra spending money. My son will have a sibling and they will never be alone when myself and their dad pass
I was over 30, and found myself pregnant with #5. The choice to get my tubes tied was an easy one.
I wanted at least 2 kids. I’m currently pregnant with my 2nd. My kids will be 10 years apart.
I only have one. We divorced when he was two. But I always wish we had one more.
For me, it was the difficult pregnancy and birth that cinched it for me. I never wanted to go through that again.
Need more back round… how many kids do you have? Can you afford another child? What age are you and do you have the energy to raise another baby? Are you healthy enough? How were your other pregnancies? If you have to ask yourself do not do anything permanent. You may change your mind in a few years. Give your self the option of another child if you do have more room in your heart. You could always foster or adopt too! (My tubes are tied. Due to health reasons and mental and physical abuse in my first marriage. It was not safe to have a baby. I made that hard choice. And I currently regret it. 7 years later I’m healthier then I’ve ever been and very stable and happy. I wish I could have a child with my soulmate- 2 years and we still act like newly weds. And I can’t see that changing. He is an amazing father- I love his kids- but I wish we could share that together. So instead we have a huge pack of pups and I’m thinking of fostering.)
Either way good luck! I wish you and your family nothing but health and happiness
We have 4. 19,19,12&6. I definitely would’ve wanted more but I got a ligation because of my lupus. My body was done. Obviously everyone is different… I guess the things you have to ask yourself, are you financially able to? Do you have the room? Would adding a baby right now make things more complicated, or do you have the help you’d need? Do you want another for your family, or because you feel pressured to?
I was only blessed to have 1, couldn’t have any more. My son is happy but I wish I was able to give him a sibling to grow up with.
I have 2 I’m stopping because I’m 36 and my kids are finally both gonna be in school and theres no way I wanna start over. I’m excited they are at the age where we can do fun things with them. Plus I don’t wanna be poor haha kids r expensive.
I only have one by the time I wanted another one I couldn’t health wise carry.
Ive got 3 total. None were planned at all and 2 were while I was on birth control. Having 1 I was super content. It was easy to juggle everything between work home and family outtings. My child was super lonely and felt like he had no one to play with. All his cousins were older or girls who didnt want to play with him. My second is 3 years apart from my first and they fight like crazy but are super inseperable. My 3rd is 2 years younger than my second. My oldest has become amazing with how much more happier in all aspects. Hes the best to his sister and does everything she wants and loves to teach the the second how he should do stuff. It does get crazy and stressful but its so worth it. I definitely only wanted 2 max but now that ive got 3 im for sure done. It just felt completely after I had my 3rd.
Always wanted two, decided on 3. After the third I felt complete, I couldn’t stand the thought of going through pregnancy, child birth or new born years again after number 3 so I knew it was time, I love babies and am getting my fix through family for now, while I await my first grand baby early next year!
I would love more - it’s in my heart - there is a face missing from our dinner table. Unfortunately I don’t get to have babies the fun way. It’s all Ivf/embryo adoption for us, it’s financially and emotionally expensive. So blessed you have options
looked at it from.a fiscal point of view, also how both my husband and I were raised, our health, and ages. we decided on 2. We had 2 and then my tubes removed.
I thought after one i was done but then i decided my daughter needed a sibling so we had our baby boy and then i got my tubes removed
I’ve had 3 pregnancies and two live births. I decided to stop having children because all of my pregnancies tried to kill me so once I had my son and daughter I knew I was done and I was content.
This is the reason why I don’t want anymore kids. Everything that is going on in the world for one, and if you do want more, why not look into adoption? There’s tons of kids around the world that can have a better home and a better life if you choose to adopt.
I had 2 stopped… got tubes tied I was 21… 18 years later had them reversed had 3 more my kids r 37 36 20 19 18… it was different I was older all with same man…he passed 6 years ago…love my kids more than life…but I let myself go to care for my kids…my health is now bad…none my kids comeround.cal.or text or gift me at xmas mothers day what ever… they stole what money I had …I’m disabeled they had good life…spoiled beats they are… my kids dont love me…but yes I would least have 2 total…up to you… love my kids but they are mean disrespectful… kids r blessings if u love kids like I do go for it…just dont wait like me almost 20 years apart then start again
I wanted 3 but stopped at 2 due to medical reasons for both myself and my kids.
I got pregnant with my first at 34. I was so scared of getting pregnant before that. Now I wish I started earlier and had more but I feel too old now. Of course if I started earlier it would’ve been with the wrong guy so there’s that
God is the ultimate deçision maker. I had one at 22 one at 36 one at 57 and one at 59…all girls per my request lol
I have 5 that’s why lmao
If you value your s/o, keep it at 1. When you have more than 1 the needs of many take over your life and everything goes to shit. I have 3 under 7 and our relationships sucks, which in turn makes makes everything else fall apart… just my opinion though. To each their own. Good luck in your decisions.
had two by my firt husband we are devoice and i had two which are twins so that is why i said no more because i what to give them all i could,
I always knew I wanted 3 just like my mom. So that’s exactly what I did.
When you know you know. Until then just do whatever you do to not get pregnant. Never have a kid if you’re not 100% sure.
After one I knew I wasn’t done that I had lots more love to give. After two is yet to be determined. You know if you want another. Part of you just doesn’t feel complete.
We have a 9,7 and almost 3 year old… We are both 31. I want one more so bad but im afraid to push the limits- financially, mentally, stress wise… physically on my body! Im not sure what to do… I have met so many people say you only regret the babies you didn’t have
I have 3 and I knew for sure I wanted more then one because I didn’t want my oldest to feel alone I wanted him to experience what it was like to grow up with siblings but now I’m for sure done having kids what made my decision so final was the fact that my youngest 2 are only 11 months apart and I want to be able to enjoy my children even after the graduate and be come adults I don’t want to not be able to do things with them because their younger sibling is still a child
I have 2. I have a boy and a girl. My boyfriend has 2 girls from a previous relationship. Both of my pregnancies were high risk. I had my daughter when I was 37. I had my son at 40. My boyfriend and I decided that we didn’t want anymore kids.
I went with two and got my tubes tied. 1. Pregnancy was hard on me especially with my second child. Bed rest for a couple months and ridiculous amounts of testing. 2. I had my kids just shy of two years apart. I feel like they will go through all the challenges of growing up with each other. 3. When it’s my time to leave this world my children will have each other (God willing🙏) 4. Financially I don’t think I could make it with a third child. When I left the kids dad I had to learn to make things stretch and how to stand tall and stable with two littles. With how expensive kids are these days I feel I would be stretched extra thin trying to raise another. My kids and I live well as is. No they don’t have name brand everything but they have. 5. The last key detail for me was that my grandmother had two kids, my mom had two kids and I had two kids.
We have 2. We can not support more than 2 with our current income.
We will not have anymore.
I didn’t want my son to be an only child. I knew that for sure
I have 3 and for sure done. I just turned 31
For me financially 3 is what i can afford to live comfortably without having to live day to day having more would put a strain on that
Also they need alot of attention lol 3 is enough
Last I want to enjoy my marriage /husband too without having to take away from my kids. If i keep having more kids I’ll never get to enjoy my husband
I have 4 total. 24 year old, 19 year old and I started all over again I have a 3 year old and a 5 month old. I’m 43 in October. I wouldn’t change it for anything. Everyone asking if you can afford? Well another one wasn’t really in our budget lol but our kids do not go with out you find a way. If you have to ask this I wouldn’t do anything permanent.
Had my last baby at 42 … hated being called a geriatric mum so I won’t have any more
I think if you feel one or two is good enough for you then go for it. I’ve met many people who were only child and they wish they had more siblings or a sibling to talk to. Especially that one of them their parents are gone and they feel alone during holidays even though they have the other partner family it’s still not the same💜 think of yourself and them when deciding. Good luck
Simply put. We (as a family) cannot support/ afford another child, we would go broke.
BUT we as a couple decided on x2 kids and we have stuck with it.
I’m an only child and always swore I’d never have just one. I’ve got 2.
This. World. Is. So. Not rite. I. Wouldn’t if. I. Was u but. That’s your choice
I always wanted two to 3 but after having two Boys with different fathers I decided I was done. Having a girl now would require another bedroom and all different stuff then boys.
We tried for a second when my son was about 1.5 . Now we have a 2.5 year old and 2 month old twins…
I have 3 all together and I’m 25. I got a tubal ligation done in 2017 because of high blood pressure/pregnancy issues and I seriously regret it! If your unsure you could always try birth control or get clamped.
Well I have 3 and they’re all a lot to handle!! They all have ADHD and my oldest is on the autism spectrum and so that in itself are reasons I don’t want anymore… But Idk if I only had one I’d at least want one more so they could have someone to play with… I had my sister to grow up with and always had her to play with and I couldn’t imagine not having her…
I think it is very hard if you are a only child but that’s your choice .
I have 2 by Birth. I knew that I would want at least 3 but also knew that if something happened to my Marriage that it would be a Total Struggle to raise 3 on my wages.
Though I was an only child and I was lonely sometimes throughout my childhood, I opted for just one child. I just couldn’t do another pregnancy. Too hard on my body and financially I couldn’t do it.
I don’t regret it as we are super close and I was the same with my mom.
I have 3 and I’m 26. I got my tubes tided after last one. No regrets!
I chose to only have one child (now 26). I whole heartedly regret it. I wish I would have had three or four for me and her!
I had my tubes tide I was (am) 100% sure i wanted it with no regrets. Dont do it if you are in doubt. Its ok too wait to see how you feel another 5 year or whenever but make sure you are 100% without a doubt.
I always wanted 2-3 kids. But have 1 as I never planned on being single mother. And the choice was made. I will never put another child through what me and my daughter is going through now. One is enough and financially it would not be possible to have another one.
Maye have One more . If you are still debating after, than maybe you shouldn’t.
I have 3 and always wanted at least 5 and still wish I could, but conceiving for some reason is difficult for us and I’m getting older. I love having babies.
I wouldn’t want to have an only child. When I have my youngest son alone while his siblings are gone I realize how much I love having the children to play with each other.
This is such a personal decision. I wanted 6. I stoped at 3. 2 of the 3 was born with major medical issues. At that point I knew i was done. I had my tubes tied 12 years ago after our 3rd.
2 for me - was perfect - until my youngest son died - now I wish I’d had 3
I always thought 2 was a good number. I was an only child and so was my husband so when my parents and his mother died all we had left was each other. I always wished I had a sibling who I could count on as family. I think two is the best because when I always think of future finances and things like that two feels like a number where I can help them get their first car and go to college.
You just know i think…personally i know i dont… & id rather cover my tit$ in honey & staple them to a behive than have anymore
I’m 40 and have one little girl who is 2 going on 3 soon. I dont regret having just one. I’m type 1 diabetic…not to be confused with type 2 and with this lifetime disease that is expensive and now being divorce…I am so glad I didn’t have another as it would be too expensive having more than 1 being a single mommy. Now I’m glad cause I can focus on her and spoil her alone.
I have 3 kids my oldest will be 10 this yr and he’s special needs (he’s cerebral palsy and hydrocephalus) I have a 7 yr old goi g in 8 little girl she’s perfectly healthy just the tude is strong with her lol and then I have a 1 yr old little boy I decided to stop because I had to take preventative measures during my second and 3rd pregnancy to keep them in (progesterone shots weekly) I love that my kids have siblings but having 2 in diapers isn’t fun did that with my older 2 they are 2 years apart. I still have 2 in diapers but insurance covers my oldest diapers (he can’t walk due to his special needs he’s whee chair bound)
I had my oldest at 17. I am 37 yrs old, I have 4 kids (20, 16, 14, and 11)…. I knew I was done AS SOON as I had my youngest. I don’t think there was a decision to be made or a reason, it was just instinct. I said I was done and that’s it.
I’m done, there is no more mommy to give at this point . If you feel that you have more to give and a desire to do so then why not? It is up to you and your partner imo, no one can make that decision for you.
I had my oldest daughter in 2008; I said if I wasn’t pregnant again or had another child by time she was 3, I was not having any more. My daughters are 3 years and 8 days apart. I got pregnant in 2015 and had a miscarriage. Got pregnant again because we said “maybe just one more”. Well, one more turned into twins. Which collectively, we have 7 children together. 5 boys, 2 girls and 2 sets of twins. I knew I was done 16, 13&13, 13, 10 4&4. Had a tubal ligation in 2016.
I was 1 of 5 and the only girl. When I was pregnant with my first (girl) I new I wanted to try for 1 more hopefully another girl! Because I was an only girl and always wanted a sister to have that sisterly bond. I had my 2nd girl and I new I was done. I also had more then baby blues that accompanied both my pregnancy. I knew I couldn’t put myself or my babies through all that.
I have two girls 19 and 17. It didnt work out with there father so I thought I was done. I didnt get fixed or anything, but the when my youngest was 9 I met the love my life. He didnt have any kids. We wanted a child together but unfortunately I never got pregnant. I wish now that we would have seen a specialist but we didn’t. I’m 38 and we still could do this but we are being blessed with two granddaughters, one in December and one in March. We decided have decided that we will just enjoy each other and our grandbabies
I have a 9 year old son from a previous relationship and my fiancé has an 11 year old from another relationship and we had one together and when she was a year old he got a vasectomy but sometimes we wish we would have had another
I’m currently pregnant with #3 ( ages 3, 1 and this one will be 17m apart from #2) all three were planned. I’m 23 and my husband is 25. We agreed that 4 is our max but this one might be the last. We’ll see. I also said that I planned on being done by 25! I’ve just heard it’s harder to transition from 2-3 vs any other number so who knows.
I love having babies but I absolutely hate pregnancy and I’m always super nauseous + vomiting so it’s just difficult.
I’ve always said, when you know you know but I think there will always be an urge or baby fever so you just have to ask yourself if you want to start all over again.
I have a 5 yr old and a 8 week old and the baby was a SURPRISE I knew as soon as I found out I was pregnant I was done it’s hard and expensive and the way everything is going in the world I couldn’t imagine having more and I wasn’t blessed with patience which isn’t fair to the kids
Mine is my age. I’m 41 almost 42. I have boy/girl twins who will be 3 in December.
Mostly I decided not to have anymore kids because I absolutely hated being pregnant. I had good pregnancies…I just hated it. I would have stopped at one if my daughter didn’t surprise me. I got my tubes tide right after I had my daughter because I didn’t want any future surprises.
My reasoning. I don’t abort my babies and I happen to be fertile. Most the time its never planned but we make the best of it.
I’m 27 and have 2. One of each. I wanted another girl but after this last pregnancy and labor I’ve decided I can’t handle anymore lol. My son is almost 2 months old, he was 9 pounds 4oz at birth and labor was 23 hours long, it’s a constant reminder that I never want to do this again
I have 4 kids and just knew I was done i didn’t think my body could handle anymore
I grew up in a bigger family and loved it. I always said that I wanted 3 children right now I have 2 boys. I’m 31 so I got time for the 3rd one.
I love being pregnant but it isn’t kind to me. Took 3 years to talk myself into #2 and that pregnancy was pretty miserable. I’m done. If I carried better I’d have more, but I’m very happy and grateful for my 2 daughters.
Only you can answer this question for yourself. But for me, it was all about time, money and quality of life. For me , 2 is the perfect number for many reasons. My boys live a comfortable life. Daycare fees weren’t bad because I spaced them out by 4 yrs. 2 is perfect time wise because of extra curricular activities such as hockey. We can handle getting two kids to and from activities easily. More than two would be stressful and exhausting. Two is perfect time wise. I feel that both my kids get more than enough of our time and we get to spend one on one time with each of them easily.
I have to add though that we also billet junior hockey players so my house is always full of kids. If you want more kids around but you don’t want to be financially responsible for them you can billet hockey players, you can be a foster parent, you can be a mentor for youth activities, you can take an exchange student. They don’t have to be your flesh and blood to make a difference in their lives. You just have to show up for them
I love being pregnant… I’m 33 wks today… but it’s taking a toll on my body… I’ve been pregnant 6x I have a son and a daughter (9&3yo) I lost a son and daughter and miscarriage and I’m getting induced w this one tmrw I want more kids but my bp makes it difficult to have more
I don’t think it’s fair to ask my daughter to share me honestly. And I wouldn’t be pregnant again for all the tea in China.
I have 6 kids had my last one at 44
I became a grandmother at 45 so yeah theres my reason so definitely no more for me Lmao got the tubes tied
I have one. A son. He’s 4. I absolutely on every level do not want more. I’m definitely a one and done woman. I can give my son, so much more of myself emotionally, physically and financially then I could if I had another to split all that with. As my son gets older and needs more he’ll have the best of the best bcus he’s the only one I’ll/we have to provide for. I do feel feel a tiny shred of guilt bcus he’ll essentially be an only child(he has an older sister from his dad, but she’s 15. She’s great to him, but they’re far in age) he won’t have any close in age siblings. However having siblings doesn’t mean they’ll be close I know lots of people who have siblings and have no type of bond. Over all I’m beyond happy with just my son. There is nothing wrong with just having one child. To each their own.
My husband and I discussed having children before we married. He said I dont care if we have 1,2, or 10. I’m done when I’m 30. His parents were older he didnt want to be an elderly parent. We ended with two lovely girl’s. It’s your decision good luch and best wishes.
Got my career back on track and more kids would not help with that and the longer you don’t have any more the more you don’t want any more also money . The older they get the more they eat and want!
While pregnant with #4 decided to get tubes tied. 1) 4 kids is a lot 2) our house isn’t big enough for more 3) that was my 3rd c-section 4) can’t afford more than 4 5) I was 28 and done
Are you single, if not then no…you say I, I, I, but it takes 2 if single then do whatever you want…
I have two because I didn’t want my oldest to be alone if something happened to me, and honestly my husband didn’t have any (that he knew of at the time, but that’s a whole other story). I have 3 siblings. My husband has 6. We both agreed she needed someone. They are 7 years apart, but best friends… I stopped at 2 because I did not want to end up with 3 girls
The world is so fucked up. Quality of life in 50 years will be shit. And kids are expensive af
We have two. I’m 27. We super comfortably & we have one boy & one girl. It’s perfect for us & we can manage super well with just our two.
i’m 34 w 5 kids i got operated after my last one i regret it like crazy have as many as u want !!
My husband was good with whatever decision I made. We have three older boys they are currently 19, 18 and 16. We also have a six-year-old little girl. I made the decision to talk to my husband about wanting another child to see if we could possibly have a girl. I lucked out with it and she was a girl. I had her when I was 30 and that was the hardest pregnancy that I’ve been through with all four. Halfway through my pregnancy I looked at my husband and my doctor and said I don’t want to do this again I’m done schedule me to get my tubes tied. Her due date was April 20th my scheduled tubal was for the 21st. She decided to come a week early and I was still able to get my tubal and it was the best decision for me and my mental health and my family. Not going to lie I still get baby fever but I just go visit my nieces and nephews and I’m good.
3 sons (59, 57, 54) & the sudden loss of my husband this year - they, their spouses, 7 grandchildren & 7 great grandchildren have been my salvation. My husband was an only son; so (not planned), we loved each as they came & grateful at our age; we have been blessed with this “large” family. The question that was ask; has to be your individual decision. We lived our life as we desired – so must you.
I wanted to have a boy and a girl. The first was a boy. The second was a girl . If she was a boy I would have kept going until I got that girl. Thank goodness she came out as a girl. Tubes tied that’s it lol.
If you have to second guess yourself obviously you don’t want anymore!
I have 4 teenagers and 1 preteen!!you can borrow my 5 anytime and see if that helps you figure it out!!