How do I know if I should have more kids or not?

For those of you who’ve decided to not have more kids, can you give me your reasoning etc? I’ve been struggling hard to decide if I only want the 1 I have or if we should have more. TIA!

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I know if I should have more kids or not? - Mamas Uncut

Don’t make any rash decisions. Just let whatever happens, happen.

If you can afford them.for one. If you can provide all the emotional and financial stability a child needs.

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Personally we filled up the available bedrooms in our home and I didn’t think it was fair to any of the older kids to have to start sharing a room.

I have 5 so I suggest u wait until they are atleest 5 so u know what they’re like as they grow,each child is different,also I have seen that around 8/9 is when they like to help with the baby

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I have 4 & glad I did but this world today I wouldn’t want to have anymore

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I had one child. I felt complete. My husband and I can afford for him to have everything he needs, save for him to go to college, I’m an only child too … he doesn’t mind. We are just a happy little family.

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If you can afford another one then do it. An only child is lonely. People say that they have friends and cousins but it is not the same. I went through a touch couple of years (loss of a child) and I am not sure if I would have made it without my siblings support. And also, once you and child’s father have passed they may feel lost. Just my opinion from talking to a few people that where only children.

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I didn’t want any and 3 kids later … I knew I was done….

For me: health and age.
For my husband: financial concerns.

Adoption is an option for us in the future but we’re in no rush since our son is still pretty young.

I think one more at least. If something were to happen to you and your spouse, they wouldn’t be alone.

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I have 1 nd she 5 nd going mad for sibling to play with as she ever so lonely nd were we life neibours our elderly so she the kid in square of 6 houses.

I have 3 currently. I always wanted a big family with my kids close in age so they could all grow up together :smiling_face_with_three_hearts: we are also financially stable

I have 2 and that’s it, I cannot get pregnant anymore

I put it like this to all of my friends: you will regret NOT having any more children way more than you ever will if you have them.

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I have 3. After my last I felt complete and knew I didn’t want any more. If you are questioning it at all I would not make any permanent decisions.

Biologically I have 1 son but he has 3 bonus brothers. I would like to have one more of my own but I’m not even sure if I want another one.

I want one more and I’m pregnant with my second. I have decided that 3 is my quites. Because I struggle with physical aspect of pregnancy, and my son is causing me alot of grief with my health. I’m also a single mom, and right now I have bought nothing for my son because I don’t have the money. Anywho I hope my problems help you in some way :pray: :slightly_smiling_face:

Always wanted at least 2 because I never wanted them to go threw life alone never wanted them to go threw all the big things in life alone like when I die I don’t want them to be alone in that grief

I couldn’t pick between 3 and 4 but I’m on my third now and I know I’m done. Each pregnancy gets worse and worse so we’re good with 3 :relaxed:

Depends, can you afford it?

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I birthed 5 children, ages ranging from 17,10,9,3,2. I’m also raising my bonus 15 yr old. I also have two bonus children that don’t live with us. So we’re a blended family of 8, 6 currently in our home. Husband works and I’m a SAHM and full time college student. Nothing about it is easy but I wouldn’t change anything about it. I love our children and our large family. :heart:

I’m in the same boat. I dont know whether me and my partner shpuld have another. I have 2 girls from a previous relationship that we have 50/50 custody of and me n my partner have a 5 month old together. Wondering if this little boy will get lonely on the weeks his sisters aren’t hone.

Everyone has their own reasoning as to why they choose to have more or not. Everyone’s situation is different. If you can financially support another, do what makes you happy.

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There are 8 years between my two kiss. I didn’t originally want any kids, but the universe knew I needed my first one. I felt done after my first and then I met my husband and decided I wanted more kids. I would also like to adopt. So idk how you know your done done. I thought I was done and then changed my mind.

I feel like today it’s about what you can afford :woman_shrugging:

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If you aren’t 100% positive you want another, don’t do it.

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I have 2 and decided not to have another because one of them is chronically ill. I waited 5 years before i had my second one and as soon as I gave birth my first born health went down hill drastically. So it was extremely hard caring for both of them with one being admitted in the hospital and baby bouncing between me and grandma. (Baby was strictly breast fed and wouldn’t take a bottle) so she was with me mostly. My oldest is doing great now and sometimes get baby fever but i do not know what the future holds for us on his medical journey so that is my reasoning.

I have 3 and my reason for not having more is because my body physically can’t handle it and kids are expensive!

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If you’re financially stable enough to have another child, and you are prepared and can prepare for it then go ahead. If you can’t afford it, don’t make a child suffer through that. Simple.

I have 1. It’s easy having just 1. One to spend all your time, money, attention and love on. He has no sibling to fight with. I don’t worry about space for extra children. But some people enjoy their siblings as adults, some hate them forever.

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Unless shit works out and we can afford our own house that has enough room for another one, it’s 1 and done for us 🤷

I decided 3 was a good number when I had a down syndrome scare. I wouldn’t have loved my daughter any less, but things are complicated enough without bringing disabilities into the mix. Also my body pretty much told me we can’t handle this anymore, my hips would pop out and me being so skinny I felt like I had major back issues with the weight gain.

I have 3, I always said if I was to have kids I wanted 3 my partner said he wanted 3. I have 2 boys and and then my baby girl. Our family is complete now.
1 thing I will say is I don’t know anyone who has ever regretted having kids or more kids but I know lots of people who wish they had more. You won’t regret having them but you will regret not

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I would love a little girl, but I can’t physically, mentally or emotionally handle another baby. #3 is it for me.

Take a look at your budget and then decide.

I want one more (or twins whatever is fine) but it’s the post partum symptoms for me lol. I was never passive aggressive towards my husband (we talk things out that’s what we do in our relationship) until I gave birth n I just didn’t want to talk it out I wanted to be mad until almost 8 months later lol. Then in the 1st trimester I was. Crrying saying "idk why I hate you I dont hate you idk what’s happening " to my husband and he was just like “its bc you’re pregnant its okay” lolol. It’s the emotions I hate the rollercoaster I was on but I do want another one I’m just terrified of the emotions I have especially with an almost 8 month old now. I just got my emotions decently on track lol. I’m just terrified of all of it lol. And the part where I have to spend time with hubby as well but i dont want to leave my baby and want to give him all my attention ugh.it all is scary to me lol

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I wanted lots. I have 2 that are 16 years apart. I couldn’t imagine being an only child. But at the end of the day… That is a decision only you can make.

I looked at it this way, I would never regret having another child but I would regret not having one. That is when we decided to have #3 who is due in March.

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I have 4 and I had my tubes burned and I wouldnt obviously change anything now. But if you have support from the other person, they also want more too. It’s definitely easier with support from the other person. It can be challenging at times raising 4 completely different people. They all have different personalities and interest. Sometimes it can feel overwhelming. There are some big age gaps so some things are really easy. My oldest can stay home alone now. I think it’s all personal what you chose to do. It’s always going to be a bit more of a struggle with more people added to the family but also more love.

I’m in the same boat! My husband has 2 from previous relationship that are 9 and 14, and we have a 1 year old together. Kind of wanting another one but also on the fence because really we have 3! But I’m an only child and so is my mom and I’ve watched her handle everything alone with my grandparents. I don’t want all of that burden on my daughter when I’m old.

Also all of our bedrooms are taken and nobody shares currently so that’s another thing

Kids should come in twos. One kid they don’t have anyone to play with. Three kids and someone’s always left out and five is too many. Lol

I didn’t want to start over again and my body couldn’t handle it no more. I also knew I wanted a divorce and didn’t want to trap myself. I don’t regret it. You’ll know when the time is right.

I have 4 and as adults they are extremely close. I wouldn’t want my children to not have siblings.

Picture your family in the future. What does it look like? Do you have just the one kid? Does your kid have a sibling to play with? I made my decision to not have anymore after 2. That’s how I did it

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If you can afford to raise 2 have 2

If you have to ask the public for an opinion,maybe you shouldn’t have any more.

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Can you afford to have more children without any outside help?
We decided not to because I have 2 and he has 2, so we have 4.

Childcare is so expensive!

Also the world is so over populated. I feel we have contributed enough.

Have another one! I had 2 back to back and as hard as it was in the beginning … best thing i did

i wanted to have 4 kids but due to the many birth defects in my famil i decided to only have the 2 healthy kids i was blessed with

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With 3 kids, we can all fit in my husband’s truck when we use it to go camping, dump runs etc.
If we have a 4th, we would need a new vehicle for him and he loves his truck, sooooo, I think we are done :joy:

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im almost 22 and i have one 2 year old. and i KNOW i don’t want any more kids. i always knew i wanted a baby, maybe 2, but after having this one. im done. pregnancy was horrible for me(yeah yeah, i know every pregnancy is different) i had morning/all day sickness for 7 months straight. i hated being pregnant. it made me 10x more self conscious about my body during and after having him. it’s just something i personally don’t want to go through again. and i get told by people it’s selfish to only have one. but unless they are carrying the baby and being pregnant, they have no say so on what i choose to do. also, i’m NOT a morning person, absolutely HATE being woken up, always have, and if i can prevent having to wake up every 3-4 hours through the night with a newborn, i absolutely will. we love going places, and tugging around a newborn in a carrier was horrible. i’m on birthcontrol, and if something were to happen and we would accidentally get pregnant again, then no biggie, i’ll suck it up and do it again. but to VOLUNTARILY have another one. nope. my child is 3 kids in one. i have horrible back problems, and being pregnant again will defienitly not help that. and the energy he has is outrageously crazy! i couldn’t imagine another one, especially close in age. and by the time he’s 5-6 and we don’t have an “accident” or plan to have another my boyfriend is getting :scissors:. because that’s to big of an age gab to start all over again.

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I had decided 2 was enough for me but my Dr would not do a tubal because I was only 22. I went on to have 2 more years later. Consider your age. Things may change if you are young.

You will know when the time is right

I have 4. I fucking wish I stopped at 3. But it is what it is. I got my tubes tied. Which I also regret bc I’ve had issues with my period ever since. But I absolutely wanted no more. So it’s okay.

I was sure I only wanted 1 but then since covid I changed my mind as I didn’t want my daughter to be on her own later in life. I now have 2 and glad I did change my mind.

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I have 3. They have usual fights. But they love each other and pick at each other. I love it. :heart: :purple_heart::green_heart:

We have 2. I always wanted to make sure I had 2 because one day we won’t be here and I want them to at least have each other

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I never wanted kids. I wanted to go to college for photography and travel the world. I had my oldest in 2007. And was content. Wasn’t going to have anymore. In 2014 or 2015 I worked at a gas station. A customer put it to me this way. When you die. It’s just your baby here wandering this earth without you. So I had my baby in 2016. Because I couldn’t leave my oldest alone in the world. If they don’t speak after I’m gone that’s their choice. But I did my part to make sure they would have each other when I’m gone. I had surgery to prevent any further pregnancies.

My sister and I discussed it. We say everything is geared to a family of 4. We always find a promotion for 4. I had 2 kids and she had 4…so we were 4 and she was 6. She always had to add, while I got the 4-pack special. Just an observation…

You just know.
If you are struggling this hard then don’t have another.
Talk to your partner, see if they feel the same and explain that you don’t want another and let it be.

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Always known I want 2 girls with one being named Tonya I got exactly what I wanted. I am so blessed.

You need to be able to afford and care for all your children and both parties want not just one or the other

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I was blessed with 2 boys and didnt want to push my luck any further so I stopped and had my tubes tied. I loved being pregnant and had i been younger i probably would have had more

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My other half and I have 5 total and I’m beyond grateful we do. If I had the chance id do it again in a heartbeat. :heart: all 5 have their ups and downs but in the end they are the greatest 5 kids I could have ever hoped for.

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I always wanted 2 kids… my son was 5 when my daughter was born so there’s an age gap and I love it I got to spend a lot of one on one time with my son before my daughter was born and then I got to spend a lot of one on one time with her since he was in Kinder when she was born! So I’m glad I choose to have 2 kids!

My boyfriend and I have 4 all together. Blended house hold. I know all my friends with 1 child wish their child had someone to play with. They says they are constantly having to play, entertain, or keep their child busy in many activities. We have a park one house away from our and I love how our kids are constantly playing together and come up with creative games. Honestly 2 would have been ideal for me.

I’m 36 and have 4 children 9, 8, 6, and 2. I love them but man they can be a handful at times. Couldn’t imagine adding more to what I have.

If you can afford to care for them without being on Medicade, food stamps, wic, etc. Go for it. If you’re on any assistance, wait till you can afford it. Can you afford to stay home and not work? I don’t want to pay for other’s children. Those are my reasonings.

When my husband & I started talking about having children we agreed on no more than 3. When I got pregnant with our 3rd child I knew inside I was done. I just knew for myself that I didn’t want more. He on the other hand wasn’t so sure,at 6 months pregnant an ultrasound showed I had plecenta previa because of the issues that caused with me and our baby(she was born via emergency csection at 36 weeks) he also decided he was done. Honestly if you in your heart can’t say you’re done I suggest talking about it with your spouse/boyfriend and get on birth control! Use birth control until you know what you want for sure.

The world is a crazy place! I wouldnt want to bring anymore into this world.

I personally want more then one kid so when us parents pass they won’t be alone

I always knew i wanted at least 2, ideally 4. Rare blood type and very hard pregnancies put a stop to that. Took a big risk having baby number two and then had my tubes tied as we both almost died during birth.

I wanted 2 but got 4 and now I’m just adding fur baby editions to our family lol no more actual babies for this mama as I hemorrhaged pretty bad with my last 2

I have one. He’s 17. I had miscarriages before him. He came 3 & 1/2 months early. I almost lost him several times. I have lupus and Antiphospholipid syndrome. I was told that if I was to try to have another I could lose the baby, myself, or both. So I didn’t even try to have any other babies. He does still say he wishes he had a sibling. So I really do wish I could’ve. But I’m completely fixed because I was so scared of the what ifs.

I was 1 and done. Then God blessed me with 2 more. I know I am done, just because I am already exhausted with 3, and I know for my own sanity that 3 is enough for me.

Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I know if I should have more kids or not? - Mamas Uncut

Stopped after 1 as I had 5 siblings and knew I didn’t want a large family. I do regret it now that he is 18, I wish I’d had one more.

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I only have 1 and he is more than enough. :grin: I didn’t meet my Husband until later in life. I was in my midthirtes. When we got married we did not plan on having any kids. But then my sisters each had one so we thought okay let’s have one. He is the middle of 5 cousins. We sometimes think we should have had another but my age was concerning. We also feel we are able to give him things that would be more difficult if we had additional children.

I think you have to realistically look at your location in life. Are you set up financially to have more kids? Can you provide them with college or help financially if they need, can your house set up be okay with more kids or is your house full and therefore you need to move in order to have more kids. Is your relationship in a good place? Honestly I wanted 4, husband wanted 5 but I had some scares with each birth and we decided that for my health, it was best to be happy with what we have. Also another kiddo to our herd and I would have had to redo all of our bedrooms and try to redo our play space etc too. I have an 11, 8 and 6. I’m thrilled that they will all be in school this year and can get back to my work life without having a nanny or babysitter. It’s a question you have to open up about… make a pro cons list… I know a few people who are thrilled to welcome babies in their 40’s but I wanted to be done by 30, and I was. My kids will all be grown and in university by the time I’m 50…

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Being a mom of 7 I wouldn’t change it. I have no idea what it’s like with just 1. But I do know growing up it was just me and my brother and I felt lonely. So it was a personal decision to have a big family

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I thought for sure I was done after my first but then I met an amazing man and decided I would go for one more. I am sooo happy I did! My boys are 11 years old and 13 months.

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I had 2 because I didn’t like the thought of my child not having a brother or sister. For those that say if you can afford it if one was to wait till they had everything for them to have children nobody would have had kids or gone pass the age where its easier conceive and more likely to have a child with problems. Once you have kids you change the way you spend money and realise you wasted a lot. It’s up to you and your partner but in the long run you want to make sure you have no regrets.

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We based our decision at the time on affordability. Plus we had one of each. However, hindsight is always 20/20. If I was able to do it over I would go with 3 to 4. Here is why. We lost our oldest 5 years ago when he was 26 due to injuries from an auto accident. It has been hell on our little family. I think this way now more for our daughter. She struggles being alone and losing her best buddy. She is now married and pregnant with her first. She hates that her brother missed her wedding. She hates that her children will not have first cousins or a fav uncle on her side of the family.
We hate that she may have to deal with us as elderly. It sure made us get our stuff in order quick.
So for me…have more than 2…

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You never regret the kids you have only the ones you don’t.

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This world is to evil, for me to want or have anymore. It would not be far to the child. But that’s how I feel for my self.

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I only have 1 whose 8… My husband and I both wanted a girl and that’s what we got… Kids are expensive so I always had the mentality of she can have what she wants and I can have what I want lol. No really kids are a blessing… I just wasn’t meant for more than 1.

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I have always wanted 2 kids. I have one now that will be 12 in 6 months and one on the way. I went on bc after my first and it took 5 yrs to get pregnant again. Then had two rough miscarriages and now having ano

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I have a 25.21.19.14 & 6
I never regret the kids.
Just the Big age gaps .
They last 2 would get upset siblings wouldn’t play or they couldn’t play because of the big age gaps.
Have them close together if anything.
I have two 17 months apart they use to be Best friends until their teen years a boy and girl hormones…lol

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I struggled at 1 time. I had a 9 year old daughter and he had 2 sons when we met. He really wanted a child with me. My MIL told me one day as I struggled with decision to have another child. She said if you don’t have one you may one day regret not having one but if you do have one you will never regret bringing them into this world. So… we had another baby… she has been the best thing to happen to our family.

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I have one that is almost a teen. We wanted more but not being able get the one places due to work helped out the decision. We were able to go on great vacations yearly and have great bdays and holidays. We were able to buy a larger house as the one before definitely was too small for more than one. With all the crap going on in the world I’m kind of glad I only have to worry about my one kid.

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If you are healthy and can carry without complications and can afford it I would say have at least one more. One of the best things I did was give my kids siblings. They fight often but they have sweet moments where they get among also. I wanted them to have someone with them for the time when we get old and need help and pass. No one will understand like a sibling will.

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We based our decision on affordability. We wanted to be sure that we could comfortably take care of our children and provide them with a good life :heart:

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I had 2… I call them my first and my last. None of their births were straight forward also I was a terrible pregnant mum. Finances made a huge impact on the final decision to have a tubal ligation. I have never regretted that decision. Kids are now 24 and 22.

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Have great neice/nephew who feel they can only afford one. I wanted a 2nd. Hubby not for it until someone very close to him, would have been all alone without a sibling. We did go through a phase where they hated each other and we wanted to run away from home ( ages 12 & 14). Hubby gone now and they pal around together ( ages 49 & 51) .

:sweat_smile: I misread that as 11 for some reason with the 1 & the I but mainly financially if I could afford to have more

I’m an only child and it was VERY lonely. I will definitely be having more than one. Of course I had all of the attention but there was never anyone to play board games with, video games or in general. I had friends and cousins but it’s not the same.

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I think with what is going on in the world at the moment namely this covid madness, I would give it serious thought. We do not know how long covid will be with us and any child born will have a much different life style. I am elderly now but I certainly would not consider children being brought into this world at present. Wait and see how this virus end up. Workplaces are now saying no job unless you are vaccinated. This may be difficult for some. Not wanting this vaccine does not make you anti vaccination. Just this particular one has a lot of people genuinely concerned. A lot has to be taken into consideration before having a child at the moment. I wish you well.