How do I move on?

My partner and I have been together 2 years, His 40 and I’m 31. He told me last week that he loves me so much and that I was an amazing partner but that he doesn’t love me romantically anymore and that the relationship had become more of a friendship. When I asked him what it was that went wrong he said he can’t pinpoint it but that it was him not me and he wants both of us to remain friends as he doesn’t see him life without me in it. I don’t know what to do.

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Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I move on?

I would leave him and cut it cold turkey this man does not actually want you he just wants you for what you do for him he wants you to be there for him and be his woman to lean on but he will probably make your future relationships with other men very hard

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Hold your head high, grieve your relationship and move on. Focus on yourself, go out and enjoy yourself.

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Sounds you’re on hold to see if the new chick he’s messing with will be worth losing you fully for. Don’t be that woman. Let him go!

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At least he was honest with you about his feelings vs leading you on and hurting you with other women behind your back. I know it’s hard when someone you love doesn’t want to pursue a future with you…but you have to want more for yourself. If you can’t handle being his friend leave, and find someone that wants to love and be there for you the way you deserve.

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Hes got someones else hes intrested in but wants to keep you as a side chick

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Move on
He not the one. Please.

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This is called a Midlife Crisis. Men go thru this around 40-50 yrs of age. It’s similar to Menopause. They lose interest in things they once we’re happy with. I’m sorry to hear. Moving on is all you can do. He’s needing a severe change in his life. Sometimes they think it’s a relationship problem. Maybe couples therapy would help. He could just need a new hobby like golf or fishing. My husband started fishing and it helped tremendously. Our relationship even blossomed more after he started fishing. He’s just looking for something new.

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Accept the fact that he is infatuated with someone else. It may be difficult to move on, but I promise this is easier than finding out he’s cheated.

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These comments are wild :rofl:

To the op tho dont make him the villain, these hurt ppl are planting little seeds of doubt in you from their own experiences. Take what he says at face value. It’s a him issue and he should be able to explore and sort out what’s going through his head without being made into a bad guy
Id be glad he didnt drag it on and keep you in a one sided love

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He probably has someone else lined up but wants to keep you in arms reach if it doesn’t work out to get back together with you.

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Bologna—You deserve much better. He found someone else. Tell him to have a nice life and leave. You will be blessed with someone who truly loves you and appreciates you.

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Leave his ass don’t be friends

Get out! End of story, sounds like he wants to have his cake and eat it too…if I were you I would be looking for a good bakery and buy my own cake.

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Do nothing. He’s made his choice. Move on. Heal your heart.

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It’s one of those “it’s not you, it’s me”.
Turn around, run and never look back!

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Look inward and decide if you can actually heal while having him still in your life but only as a friend. If you can develop that new and different relationship. If you can’t just tell him the truth that to be ok you need to stop contact. And do it properly. No social media contact either as even seeing him online on fb can keep you locked into the feelings of hurt. Sadly some people grow and change and with that so do their feelings. Your priority is you. Just because he wants to be friends doesn’t mean you are obliged to if it will affect your journey of healing.

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He’s hiding something! He has someone else … leave his ass …

There’s a difference between wanting someone to stay in your life and just wanting continued access and benefits.

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Some relationships are just done. There’s not necessarily any reason or any fault, it just runs it’s course and it’s done. He coukd of course be lying and have met someone and to ease his guilt, play the friends card, but you’ll soon know because you need to let him go then step back. See what happens next. If he’s quickly in a relationship then he was thinking of that when he ended it with you. But he can’t have it both ways not straight away. Split then both leave each other alone and make a full break. He can’t expect to break your heart, go from all to nothing and be ok with mates straight off. That’s unfair and unfeeling of him.

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His found another woman dear…

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You know exactly what to do you just have to be strong enough to do it

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I know it’s hard but he was upfront and honest with you about his feeling’s instead of leading you on… It hurts when someone you love doesn’t want a future with you but it hurts more when someone you love lies to you… especially about something like that. If you feel you can’t be apart of his life as his friend then take the time to yourself, heal your heart and try your best to move on. You will find a mn that will love you the way you deserve.

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In time you will know if what he says is the truth or if he’s lying and it’s BC he found someone else… BC if it’s bc he found someone else you will see he is with some one else right away… Meaning that’s why he “lost feelings romantically” and if that’s the case I’d def. Not want to be his friend… BC he’d be a lying pos. Lol but if he doesn’t end up with someone right away then that would mean that he was just being honest and genuinely lost feelings for whatever reason and didn’t want to string you along BC he does care about you just not romantically… And if that’s the case, can only respect that he was honest and it’s neither of y’all’s fault it happens sometimes unfortunately… Either way… at this point all you can do is decide if you want to keep the friendship or not from here and be honest with him on what you decide… if you’re hurt and need time express that to him, if you are the type it’s all or nothing and too hard to be friends express yours sorry but can’t be… Process how you feel and rather or not he is a good friend and his friendship is worth keeping to you…

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Good luck either way though.

Any ways as for moving on… take time to yourself in healing and finding yourself… And then eventually before you know it one day you will realize you have moved on… and will find the one whom is meant for you as it’s obvious this guy must not be.

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I think that you should hang in there with him. Things will eventually come together and you will understand one another again. He is your soulmate and you are his. Just keep your appearance up and take care of yourself, you will see everything will be fine.

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Wow he straight up pulled the ol’ “it’s not you it’s me” move. Nah girl. For him to want to break up your relationship but keep you in his life when that’s literally breaking your heart is straight up selfish on his part. You need a clean break girl and to move on to someone that will love and appreciate you for you and not want to just keep you on the sidelines

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What a joke! Tell him hit the road Jack!

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He’s cheating Run!!!

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Lol it’s funny how most comments here assume that he has another woman he’s interested in…face reality,…the reality is he fell out of love. Sorry to burst your bubble but it happens…take what he says at face value, cut ties, grief, and rebuild your life…you got this!!

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My ex said exactly the same thing…fast forward 3 months and there he is cavorting with my best friend…hahaha…don’t believe a word…put on your dancing shoes and move on

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From experience I can say what he told you translates to he found someone else. He wants to keep the peace in case it don’t work out with the new interest😞

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I’m n same situation after 21 years

Cut ties and move forward.

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Does everything have to do with cheating? Girl. Maybe he is being honest or maybe he knows why but doesn’t want to hurt you anymore than what he already has. If you love him let him go, if he comes back its meant to be. Either way, he still wants to be in your life and he wants you in his, maybe hes over his head and battling things mentally. Seperate from him for a while. The heart grows fonder when you arent together for a while. Only time will tell in this case.

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Respect his feelings and decide if you can handle being just his platonic friend without it causing pain. If not, move on. It’ll be okay.

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Bye Felicia. Don’t waste anymore of your time.

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Move on he has another women

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I believe that he may have found someone else he’s interested in. He’s probably not cheating yet, but he’s worried he might, so is telling you now, trying to rip the band aid off. At least in this day and age of a society where no one respects each other enough, he is taking the time to tell you the truth. I’d move on with my life and if you have kids, respectfully coparent.

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Please do not waste anymore of your time on this man.

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He can’t get more honest than that! Time to move on.

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Respect his feelings. He was man enough to be honest with you. You probably didn’t do anything wrong.
Maybe one day you can be friends but it’s ok that that time isn’t now. Realize that he wasn’t the one. Grieve the loss and more forward. Pick up a new hobby. Try new restaurants. When you do, think of the love you want. Don’t wish it was him bc that’s not fair to you.
Unless you can prove he’s cheating, ignore the bitter baby momma’s in the comments.
Take it at face value and work toward your lofe becoming what you want. To to therapy if you have to but don’t let yourself live in your sadness. Life is too short to waste it anyone who doesn’t want you. There’s 7 Billion ppl on this planet. :black_heart:

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You probably can’t maintain being just friends until you’ve given yourself some time and space to adjust. Then decide how you feel about him, how he’s behaved during the break up and if he’s a true friend you want in your life still.

I’m so sorry. Whatever it is, the relationship is over with no chance of reconciliation. Lean on your friends and family for support and get into counseling and a support group for divorcing women. This is a horrible blow for you, but you have to learn to deal with it. It will get easier over time.

Start something new and fun for you: a fun class (learn Italian, how to cook ethnic foods, painting, ancient history, auto mechanics, comparative religions), training for a new career, a new sport or hobby (salsa class, indoor climbing, learn to knit, start a blog), or new look. Find out what makes you you and unique, not just half of a couple. Discover your awesomeness outside of a relationship.

Immediately get bank and other asset statements printed out. Check them for any unexplained withdrawals. If he has another woman already his adultery will get you points in the divorce. If he drains or has drained the bank account/s or investment/s you will have evidence and get half of the assets at their highest point (maybe). You may want to set up an account/s in your name only and take out half the assets.

Contact a lawyer and see what she says your options are. Maybe get consults from two or three. Or if you think he’ll be fair, look for a mediator. Your decision as to whether you want a pit bull to take him for everything he’s worth or a lawyer who will handle things quietly and calmly. The longer the court case drags on, the more of y’all’s money goes to the lawyer. Go in with with a list of questions and write down or record the answers. Skip most of the back story and no chit chat. You’re paying for every 15 minutes and any phone calls once you’ve contracted with a law firm. Consults should be free though. Do you have children? If it looks like he’ll be generous since he’s the one who wants out and maybe feels guilty, you could just let him pay for the lawyer and sign the papers.

Contact a women’s center and the county to get advice on how to get through the process safely and advantageously. See what benefits are available and if you should get on any wait lists for housing, if that will be an issue for you.

So much to think about and deal with while you are grieving your marriage. Give yourself encouraging mantras, spend time with friends and family, congratulate yourself on every step you take towards closure, independence and progress on your case. So many of us have been through this painful process but I assure you, you WILL get through it and come out the other side stronger, possibly happier, and you’ll find your inner badass. Growth is often painful, but you will be so proud of yourself in the end.

Respect him. Sounds like he told you in a respectful way that his feelings in your relationship have changed, you need to take care of yourself as you adjust to this.

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On your behalf you can’t be friends until you’ve had time to heal and understand what’s just happened ask him to move out and recover and then when you’re strong enough maybe then you can have a friendship but right now I don’t think it’s wise as your feelings will be hurt xx

Oh, and I recommend a clean break, at least at first. Maybe very little contact for a year until your heart can heal, as every encounter with him will be raw and painful for a while and give you false hope of a reconciliation.

Get through the divorce, go through your anger, bargaining and the other stages of grief until you get to acceptance. Only after a while will you be able to deal with being his friend. Took me a couple of years. We’re good with each other now but not exactly close friends. We see each other at events where there’s family or mutual friends, but don’t talk unless we have specific questions.

He tryna play you. Boy bye.

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It’s pretty self explanatory. Heal & move on

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Sorry but if he told you this it is time to move forward with your life.

He does not want you. Leave

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Time to go separate ways

This is why you don’t ask for advice on a social media platform lol no one knows this man has found someone else :woman_facepalming:t2: sometimes people really do just drift apart. Take some time, find yourself, find how to be happy with yourself and if you are supposed to be with this guy he will come around. If not by the time you learn how to love and be happy with yourself again the right man will come along. By the time the right person comes along the guy you are with now might figure out he let his one go but that won’t be your problem anymore.

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If he is not already cheating, he has someone he wants. Move on.

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Just do you an let him miss you darling.you my Queen are in charge of you.dress up show up make you feel special.hugs

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Maybe you need to ask him exactly what he means.
Does he want to work on the marriage or does he want out.
You need answers so you can move on

Time to move on but ni need for any argument or bad feelings.xx

Bang his best friend and move on boy bye

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Don’t beg. Tell him piss off then, ur loss, bye !!:v:

Im sorry in sure this is very hurtful for you unfortunately there is not anything you can do if someone changes their feelings like that toward you you can either choose to stay friends or cut all ties with him take some time and figure out what you want and what direction you want your life to go on now stay strong and put urself first xx

Buy some something sexy to wear for him, cook dinner, light some candles, have whipped cream and strawberries for dessert with a side of you and rock his world and then ask him if he still feels the same? Just weird he says he can see life without you in it…

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Why live your life unhappy if the love not there your heart and soul feels it why pretend to be, your love for him is different not on the same page, mend your broken heart take steps back and repair yourself. Your be surprised how much the relationship was one sided.

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You’ll never look back. Leave even though it doesn’t feel like that now.

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He is involved with someone else. Might be physically or mentally regardless someone is making him feel something that ur not. He wants to continue a friendship incase it don’t work with this new person

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He just put you on a shelf. And made you an option. I’d either be in the relationship with him. Or be completely out. Don’t stand on the sidelines while he does whatever he wants.

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Make sure their isn’t a medical reason as to why he is telling you this before coming to the conclusion that he is cheating! He may have E.D., cancer, etc.

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He found someone else girl… that’s rough💔❤️‍🩹

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I certainly wouldn’t stay friends that’s like him saying sit here and wait for me to either be completely done or come back because the person I’m interested in doesn’t feel the same way . Walk away respect yourself and keep smiling and working on yourself xx

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I’d deff ask any questions your wondering before desiding what your ultimate plan will be for friendship or not. This can also help give you closure. But I’m also a strong believer in not living a lie to make someone else happy…my fiance and I have both told the other one that if for any reason at all we are unhappy then to speak up and we can work on it or move on because it’s better to be honest then to do something hurtful or to betray the other by being unfaithful.

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Maybe you are too old for him now. Move on …

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I’d ask him if you guys can discuss this in marriage counseling and you can guys can also work on coparenting while you start working on separating your life.

You deserve someone who wants you romantically!

Do what the man said. Move on and find happiness. At least he was honest and didn’t string you along.

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If there’s no passion it’s not fun anymore. It usually happens at the 2 year mark and the 7th year. Especially if there’s any diisorders. Depression, mania, narcasism, anxiety etc…

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Move on let him go but if you want to stay friends then do .I’m friends with my exes .still to this day

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Buh bye :v: you deserve someone who loves you

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He’s being honest with you. you sure don’t want a painful future with someone who is not compatible. you will find someone God wants for you too!!!

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At least the man is honest. He wants to continue to be a friend but move away from a romantic relationship. I respect that and if he’s worth keeping as a friend then do that. Some of my best friends are a couple of guys that I had relationships with and I am still friends with to this day. Don’t listen to these sour Betty’s in this group.

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Let him go. Theres an old saying b careful what u ask 4 u just might get it. A break will either make him happy or make him realize he’s made a mistake. It certainly will hurt u but better 2 move on with ur life while ur young. Prayers sent.

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Walk away… if he truly loves u he will miss u and want u back but make sure he isn’t got another girl on his string first… move on act like it doesn’t bother u…

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move on kiddo there is no future with this lump. Go find a real man willing to commit his whole heart to you . I know how you feel with the whole ‘’ it;s not you it’s me deal. this is like a living death but believe me when i say you will recover and find the man you are suppose to be with

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Sounds like he has his eye on someone else.

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Mend your broken heart with ice cream like the rest of us and move on. There are plenty of men out there. You deserve to find one that you are his everything. Sometimes it takes a few frogs to find a prince.

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I know it’s hard but sometimes people fall out of love.

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He is being honest with you, set him free and remain friends. Nothing wrong with that. Things happen, people change. Why live unhappy when life is so short. There might be something better waiting for you and life is an adventure after all :pray::heart:

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I give him credit for being upfront about it. Some men will just BS their way out of things.
I would walk away, I know it’s going to be hard, but if it’s meant to be he will find his way back.

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He meet someone else or the age difference is kicking in. Whatever his reason atleast he was honest, dump him change your number and move on

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I don’t get young girls that date old men its like u have daddy issues eek Ur young go enjoy Ur life

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You don’t know what to do ??? What you mean ? I’m not trying to sound mean but if he doesn’t wanna be in a relationship what can you do? Set him free don’t let him tell you twice that. You can’t make him stay when he doesn’t wanna stay

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Least he was honest. Some relationship just don’t make it over time. If you think you can move on and be friends go for it, if not be thankful for the time you had together, if it will be to hard to be friends then take some time to prosses and adjust to a new life and try to avoid him as much as you can.
Some couples are just better off being friends. Go your own ways and see what happens.

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Be thankful he told you, a lot of Men… and woman, string along the other for years. All the while out cheating, getting into trouble or just totally egnoring their partner unless they want or need something. We have seen that sanario play out on this page a thousand times.

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Find some new hobbies, stay busy and focus on you. This too shall pass.

Young one - you are blessed to have the truth from him.

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I’m sorry. Maybe find someone your age that is wanting to commit and not just use you. You’ll be better off forgetting about this dude. Just take it as a lesson learned.

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Move on then but I think it is normal for the romantic feelings to subside but if you are married usually those feelings evolve into deeper, commitments. I was married over 70 years to the same man and our feelings varied, but that was just a part of maturing. Good Luck and God Bless!

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I give him credit for being upfront and totally honest with you ---- I can’t tell you how many men have left me hanging and wondering where I stand with them. It’s torture. But I also know how much you must be hurting right now. When you hear others say to keep busy, that is the absolute best thing you can do. Go out with friends, spend time with family, if you don’t have a pet then get one! They are great companions, and they help with stuff like this too. Do something you’ve never done before or plan a trip to travel to a place you have always wanted to go. Enjoy just being you for a while. With time, the pain will ease, I promise❤

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Least his been honest leave

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Run as fast as you can away from him You deserve true lasting love Go find it he is out there God bless you

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Respect his honesty and appreciate that he isn’t willing to drag things/you along… Accept it. Move on.

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