How do I not resent my husband? I'm full of rage toward him

When we first started dating I didn’t know he was seeing another women until recently, and I actually found out he had stood me up to take said other women to Las Vegas to a hotel that his deceased father would take him, that held a lot of meaning to him, he had never taken another women there before, he had planned the trip with me then last minute expressed he wouldn’t have time (his in the army) and had to visit family instead, i completely understand and went ahead as he asked and purchased tickets for universal studios with a time an place to meet, i was waiting 2,6 hours and he was a no show, didn’t answer my texts or calls, he messaged me two days later saying he was with family and had no reception, me being a blind bat believed it thinking why would anyone lie right 🤦🏼‍♀️?

Well it turned out he was taking this women to Las Vegas and then spending the weekend with her and her children, something he also said he had never done is met a girlfriend’s children let alone stay in a hotel with them for the weekend,
I completely understand this was sometime ago but I can’t stop being mad at this, it’s ridiculous but his literally never taken me anywhere ever! I pay for all our vacations and hotels and Airbnb’s even when we started dating I flew to his duty station and paid 1500 for the Airbnb, heck I even paid for our wedding, and sold my car so we could afford to visit his mom,
I’m so full of rage towards him, like I know if I had the full picture then I wouldn’t be here now and apart of me isn’t sure I’m happy where I am, I feel like he gave the absolute best of himself to all these other women his ex wife, got hotel stays and a beautiful expensive ring, a wedding that he actually helped plan, and he paid for all her flights,
His ex girl got Las Vegas and spoiled rotten with gifts and experiences,
And me his wife the mother to his only children get treated like I’m a day job, I work Monday to Friday 5am till 7pm am expected to make dinner and lunch and breakfast for him and the kids, plus housework, or he makes comments,
His income is exactly the same as previously, so that’s not the reason

I just don’t know how to not dislike the way he treats me compared to how he treated them it makes me feel like there’s something not good enough with me.

I would be upset too. Even if it was a long time ago he still lied many times about important things. It’s pretty messed up to lie that youre with family when you’re with another female. Why are you the only one paying for vacations & things when you’re both working? You’ve sacrificed a lot for this relationship & he hasn’t in return. Honestly I’d leave. He doesn’t match what you do & that’s not fair. How you feel will not go away, you can try therapy if you want to save the relationship but it seems like you’re more of a job to deal with then a wife. Don’t stay unhappy forever, you deserve to be happy and find the person that will love and cherish you.

There were signs all along the way. The fact that you paid for everything showed who heated who there. My now husband was my HS sweetheart. Even as teenagers taking lunch eat day… he never let me pay. Real men do this.
You created this behavior from day 1 and now resent him. Men will do what you allow.
The only way to get through it is clear the air. Let him know and see how he reacts.
Maybe he will make it right. But honestly once a cheater always a cheater. That is my personal deal breaker no exceptions. And I told my BF/husband from day 1.
At the end of the day if you can’t get passed it… you need to leave. Find someone that values you the way he valued those others.
Good luck! Know your worth!