You could maybe reach out to her and see if there is anything you can help her with. It is not uncommon for people who work 3rd to be depressed or have other mental health issues. Working overnight is the equivalent of working 1st and 2nd back to back for some people. On the weekends all I want to do is sleep because I didn’t sleep for crap through the week. I’ve tried going to days for a year and it isn’t possible at my job given the hours I need to be home to get the kids on and off the bus.
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Although you are definitely right in your thinking unfortunately this is something that even if said it will fall on deaf ears. Furthermore you will lose your friendship as well. Unless you can show them the benefits of changing schedules and being more hands on ( of which I feel you’d have to make it where they think it’s their own idea for them to do it) that you’re not going to get far with them. They really do sound like they need to change their schedules bc their children are definitely missing out on the parenting an relationship bond with them as well. I’d leave it alone bc no good can come of it. I’d just parent them when they were around me seeing how their parents don’t seem to care and expect someone else to raise their kids as it is.
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Everyone saying mind your business doesn’t give a crap about the kids.Trust and believe I will always be up front and tell the truth to my bff even if she doesn’t wanna hear it. I will never mind my business when it comes to kids. They need a voice.
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When you aren’t in somebody’s shoes, it’s easy to assume things. She sounds like she is working hard for them, she must be exhausted. Let her be.
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I’m sorry but why is their judgement over this post??? There is never such a thing as a perfect parent however there is such a thing as children need their parents…NO not their money so they have more toys etc but actual time. What difference does it make as long as they are looked after you ask?? The difference is how they in turn approach their relationships as teens and adults, the difference is how they will then raise their children and the difference is literally life changing SO speak up before it is too late to make a difference!!
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You can ask her questions but don’t offer answers unless she asks. Examples:
Why do you think your kids act out?
What do you think they need?
What do you see/hope for your kids’ futures?
What do you love & hate about being a parent?
If you could change anything in your life, what would it be?
How did you decide to have four children vs. any other number or none?
Would you get your tubes tied or hubs get a vasectomy? Why or why not?
You can also read books/follow podcasts/blogs/watch parenting shows/etc. on handling difficult children and lend them to mom & dad and/or grandparents to help them manage. Do the kids have medical coverage? Can they get therapy and evaluations for ADHD, ODD, learning disabilities, etc.? That could be really helpful all around.
Ask the grandparents what you can do to help. I’m sure they are overwhelmed and exhausted. Can you and other friends offer to take the kids out one on one for fun & attention? It’s no substitute for parental involvement, but it can help a lot. These bonus people should be consistent, long-term presences in their lives, but even a one-time outing with someone can be beneficial. Be sure each child gets a similar amount of attention.
Encourage grandparents to get in groups with parents of kids of similar ages for extra help, socializing, group activities, sharing information and parenting hacks.
Can you help everyone get kids on a schedule to help them manage their time? Can you and others pay for and take turns getting the kids into wholesome activities with positive adult & child role models? Sports, arts, religious services & activities, scouting, hobbies can all divert from negative behavior and provide grounding and role models. Even just finding contacts and resources in your area for the parents & grandparents could be a big help. Often churches have people available to drive folks places if that’s a barrier to participation, and parents of kids in the same activities can often carpool to meetings/classes/events.
Maybe help mom & dad set up a routine for when they do spend time with the kids so it is quality time, not dysfunctional time. For example, each kid gets 10 minutes alone w each parent to update them on what’s going on in their lives, they get to talk about one problem and make one request per day/week. Mom & dad don’t have to promise anything except they will listen & think about what was said & asked, & each kid gets to be hugged & snuggled during their 10 minutes. The rest of the time is spent doing an activity together as a family like coloring, playing board games, taking a walk, having a meal or snacks, tossing a ball, hanging at the playground, baking cookies, snuggling & reading a book together in bed. While each parent has one child, the other two do simple chores, work on homework or get screen time. Keeping things consistent, expected & moving limits time arguing or misbehaving. Even if nothing can be done about the kids & parent’s problems, feeling heard & understood is the most valuable of all.
Every parent is doing his/her/their best with what they have at the time. Ask your friend what she needs & be there for her. Working third shift is tough and your friend may not even like being a parent. We all criticize ourselves plenty (especially us women), so be a source of uplift and find ways to compliment your friend so she can build on success, not feel defeated by criticism.
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It sounds like you’re right, but that doesn’t mean that they are going to take anything that you say about their parenting. If they don’t really care about them enough to be around them and parent them, then it’s not like they are going to be able to find the ability to give a fk if you call them on not being very caring parents. It sucks, but it doesn’t sound like they’re getting better parenting from their grandparents. Maybe you could ask them what they think about how much they are looking after their grandchildren… and if they seem like they give a fk, you can give them printed copies of how to deal with their grandchildren’s particular issues? https://www.additudemag.com/category/parenting-adhd-kids/
This is not your business! Don’t kick your friend down when they are already struggling. I would ask how I can help and just make sure she is ok! Being a parent can be overwhelming no matter the situation…. Be a friend and just be there!
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Mind your business. With friends like you, y’all know the rest.
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Also, recommend Big Brother/Big Sister programs, & maybe support a tutor to help all the kids with homework after school on certain days. If you are aware of school resources and programs that might be helpful, pass along the info & offer to coordinate if they can call the school & give permission.
Get friends & other family members to support the kids by being there for performances, sporting events, any achievements. You can even go to parent-teacher conferences if others can’t attend, then share the info with parents & grandparents.
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If she complains to you about their behavior, then you could comment. Otherwise, if you just bring it up, you may risk loosing your friend.
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I can hear the concern you have for your friend, and it is rightly placed. If you value your friendship you need to approach things carefully. You don’t want to alienate your friend to the point that she cuts you off, otherwise you won’t be able to keep an eye on these kids.
Maybe point out she seems more stressed than usual and ask if there is anything you can do.
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Just be up front. There is no nice way to tell someone what they could be doing better as parents. Don’t listen to the no your kids not your problem sh*t coz that’s is just a lazy ass excuse… kids need a voice and sometimes the only way they can express themselves is through anger, bad behaviour and all that. If you see something, say something. They’re literally apart of your family too, your bestie is more than family, they are forever! If she can’t take your advice and take it on board, than she really needs to take a step back and see why she cant handle being with them when she has them…
Again, there is no nice way to tell them about their parenting. Only way is be upfront!!!
As always, it’s the children that suffer - going to their grandparents sounds as though that is the only place of security/stability. Your “friend” already knows that she’s not being a responsible mother, so does the dad. If you still want to, talk with both parents and let them know in no uncertain terms what is really happening! Be prepared to lose that “friendship” because it’s easier to be in denial than face the “ugly truth”! Good luck to those poor children! There are several options as Pamela A Broberg suggested but this too is up to the parents to start!
Some people rely heavily on shift differential to pay their bills. Unless she ask or you’re offering to help then mind your own
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Are you willing to help her parent her kids? I’d consider not mentioning it to her. I’m assuming she already knows her kids are difficult but You’re 100% going to ruin your friendship over this. Offer to help. She’s probably beyond exhausted.
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What you have here is one side of the story. I’m a single parent who works midnights and the reasons I do that instead of 3rds is because I might not sleep but if there’s a 9am Christmas concert. I’ll be there. 7pm football game… guess who’s there. I almost lost my job on dayshift because I had to leave to pick my son up from school because he came down with pink eye. Guess what. Then he gave it to his sister so being home with them I missed alllll that work. I HAD no other choice then 3rd shift. I’m sure those parents aren’t just crappy people or you wouldn’t be her friend. Something else is going on that they are struggling with that your not privy too and you’re judging them.
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Tell he how you feel and be willing to say bye to your friendship.
Mind your business. I’m assuming you stay at home and get to “parent” 24/7. Maybe shift your concerns to why you’re judging your friend of 15 years and her children instead of offering to help her. People have to work and assuming “they didn’t even try to get opposing shifts” is gross.
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I did this and never saw her again.
My advice: your opinion won’t matter, and she will likely flick you quick.
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Mind Ur business Parenting Isn’t Easy at all. We also Don’t need people judgement Aswell! she is Clearly struggling. why don’t u Try and Offer a hand?
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… Best friends ? 15 years ? …
and u can’t say “Bit€h, what the fu€k are you doing? You out here fu€king up !” Then y’all ain’t really best friends. You two should be able to tell each other your fu€k ups. Fight a bit and make up. Cuz that what best friends do. Help you fix your sh!t, Have your back even when you’re fu€king up.
If she is your best friend of 15 years then she should be able to handle some open conversations and not feel attacked.
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I raised 5 respectable kids to adulthood, by myself, while working 3rd shift, I had family that stayed with them while I worked,I was home in time to get them off to school, I slept then was up by 3 to make sure I was there for them when they got home…it was beyond hard but I found time to parent and lay down discipline when needed…it sounds like your friend is overwhelmed but it’s not your place to say anything unless you’re ready to jump in and help…if you have never worked a midnight shift, you have no clue
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You sound like a wonderful friend…
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Everyone will always say mind your business until the bad a$$ children grows and start to stress out society. Then it’s why no one told her anything. Hmm
Maybe instead of telling her how she’s “parenting wrong” offer to HELP HER. Being a parent is hard, being a WORKING parent is HARDER. Trust me she’s probably beating herself up about it more than how you are trying to put her down. She’s human too, she needs her rest just as any other person. Some parents are home 24/7 with their kids and don’t bring any impact on them, maybe during that “1 hour” she realizes how much time she’s missing with them and tries to put as much effort as possible to let her kids know she loves them.
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Its ALWAYS best to mind your own ya know, as her “bf” and are you really going to act like you are the perfect parent? STAY OUT OF HER PERSONAL BUSINESS is my advice.
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Sometimes people are in survival mode, if the kids are not being harmed I say let it go, maybe encourage a family vacation a couple times a year but honestly they are working and trying which is more than a lot of people are doing
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No matter how you go about I’m sure she will be upset with you but if you think it has to be done then do it
How do I say this to you? You’re a shitty friend.
Mind your own business. Why does it bother you so much what she or her family do? Just worry about your own life
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These comments are ridiculous. This is a 15 year friendship, if you can’t be honest and blunt with your friend then y’all are shitty friends. Everyone in these comments are thinking only of the mother and her feelings, WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS AND THEIR FEELINGS? They never see their parents and are constantly being shuffled around. It would be one thing if this was a single mother just trying to make things work, but she’s not. There is absolutely no reason for her and her husband to both be working midnights when you have 4 children, literally everywhere is hiring. It seems like the mom would rather be on her husband’s schedule than her children’s schedule. I wouldn’t approach the convo from “your a crappy mom,” but from a “look I love you and the kids and I am concerned” stance. Good luck 
Sounds to me like you need to mind your own business and keep your mouth shut.
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You don’t open your mouth. A true friend would offer help not judgement
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Maybe take the kids somewhere for an hour or two and send her to get a pedicure. Give her the gift of friendship by letting her breathe. You sound like you care so help her out a bit.
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Mind your own business she might already know and be struggling…she might feel bad enough as it is without you making her feel worse
The first step would be to worry about yourself 
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maybe say ‘oh i heard somethings going on at the ‘zoo’ or something blah blah, hey when do u get time off maybe we can all do something with the kids?’ and then keep reminding her about it.
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How old are the kids? Hers ? And his? Maybe she just can’t bond with them if she really has never been with them… ? Very sad
Maybe she’d have a little more time if she cut out toxic judgemental friends
You aren’t paying their bills
The kids are being taken care of at all times and not neglected so maybe mind your own business
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If she’s really your best friend you should be able to talk to her about anything. It’s about the kids. They come first.
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I can’t even believe the comments I’m reading here no wonder kids are the way they are no respect or anything because parents think it’s ok to not be parents as long as they providing for said kids as long as they making the money apparently that’s all that matters these days looking at these comments 
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You are not her friend. You need to just cut ties
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You don’t… I work pick my kids up and see them for 2 hours before bed and cram in home work, dinner, and showers…. They may have other things going on. Instead step up and help. Pick them up. Take them with you on a day trip ect. Help research ways to help them. Kids might be assholes either way 
You mind your own business
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Everyone has different parenting styles. She can be better without changing her work shift. Maybe ask her why she still is on 3rd. Maybe it’s a reason. Everything isn’t always as simple as it looks or maybe sometimes we just do t see another way when there are other ways. I believe kids need to be parented and corrected but I also believe a relationship has to be there. Offer to tag along to different playground in the area. Where kids can run and play with out much correction. Play with them. Teach them games you played as kids. Be apart of the solution before just mentioning a problem
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Tbh with everything raising in prices it’s basically came down to two people working in the family just so they can afford rent times are so different now yes it sucks she’s not spending time but I mean you can’t blame her everything is expensive that’s just my opinion tho hope it all works out
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Kids aren’t bad, sometimes they make poor decisions, and that is part of growing up.
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It’s your opinion, you can share it but you can’t control her reaction to it.
Delivery is key. Is it really going to make a difference though? Do you think she’s just going to say, “I didn’t think of that…”
Sounds like she has some other unhappiness that needs resolved first. She may be trying to escape something.
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Why not just help her ? Since your opinion is so high an mighty
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At this time if you have a concern you should sit down with your friend. Working 3rd shift while being a parent is hard. Depending on the age of the children can make it harder. I had one too young for school while the other was in school. I never saw my oldest when I worked 3rd and barely had days off. When I did have a day off I couldn’t alter my sleep schedule too much. Working 3rd shift was the hardest on me. It paid well so I stuck it out. Sometimes your parenting style suffers in order to take care of your children.
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I think the only way you would ever be able to talk to her about this is if she started the conversation asking why her kids are so bad or are acting out… At that point, she’s asking for advice. If that conversation doesn’t happen, unless the kids are in danger, it’s best just to stay out of it.
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Maybe she’s just tired of being a mom or never wanted to be one in the first place 
a parent that wants to be a parent will make it their business to spend time with them and nurture them, sounds like she could be depressed and over having kids
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Hmm. She def needs to spend her off time with her children. Maybe try planning play dates or get together when she is off. Her complaining should stop, I mean it’s an hour of your time every day? God forbid your child just wants to be around you and all you do is complain the one hour you see them? She can defiantly do better on that. 3rd shift is hard. My husband has been on and off it the past 4-5 years. He always flipped his schedule on his off days no matter what to spend time with our boys. When he gets up he is immediately doing stuff with the kids (making them food, baths… whatever it is or needs to be done) before he goes in. Luckily he got off night shift but if he can do it (he works 60-80 hours a week) she can. It’s the actually wanting to do it.
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Wow these comments clearly the ones who are saying your not her friend and mind your buisness are the ones who don’t discipline there kids and let them run round like little thugs your all pathetic she’s trying to help her friend kids need love and support not a parent who isn’t hardly there that’s neglect and your kids will only hate you as they get older just cuz your providing for them they need more then material things in there life 
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Coming from someone who works nights and works two jobs, leave her be. She is providing for her kids and she is doing what she has to do. I do have days off, sometimes 1 night off in between 4-5 shifts and my kids know how our household runs. When I start to feel guilty, I knock it off because I’m providing. I highly doubt you are with her and her children 24/7. If she was out partying, then yes I’d say something but she is working. You mind your business and help if and when you can or stay in your lane. If you can’t tolerate it, then walk away. Im sure she feels bad enough already and when you work nights and lose sleep, honey you have no idea what that feels like. Sleep wins and you are more irritable. I’ve been doing nights for 16 years and no your body doesn’t get used to it.
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I was once ‘this kid’. I literally grew up at my grandparents, they took me to school, feed me dinner every night, did my homework with me … they raised me while my patents worked (night shift; I slept in their bed while they worked and they slept in their bed while I was at school or outside playing on a weekend). Sounds horrible doesn’t it? But I can tell you; as a child I never went without. I had lunch every day (even if granny made it and not my mother), a clean new school uniform that yes, granny washed, and school shoes I went shopping for with my grandmother. As I got older; when I wanted to learn the piano; my parents got me a piano, then when I wanted to play the saxophone; I got one of those, then the clarinet, then a guitar (and 30 plus years on I still have these instruments and still fluently play them). As I got older again; when I wanted to do alternative school from year 11/12; my parents paid for my massage course (a trade I still have my own part-time side businesses with today), they paid for my culinary course (a trade i used for 10 years). My first car; my patents contributed dollar for dollar id saved. When I was young and dumb and got into finance trouble… my parents bailed me out. When I separated from my husband 10 years ago (at 33 years old) … my parents assisted me to still purchase my own home.
My parents didn’t ‘buy my love’ … they enabled my dreams, they made what I was chasing possible and enabled and encouraged me to go for it. They made me independent, strong and most importantly they showed me they will always move heaven and earth to save me whatever my trouble is (my parents have gotten on a flight at midnight to be my side as a grown adult).
The person who needs a lesson here is you! People love in different ways; just because it’s not how you do it … doesn’t mean it’s the wrong way.
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Why do the same exact posts come up all the time?? I just seen this same exact post maybe a month ago.
You can tell by the comments who has the kids that act like these kids 
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I think these posts should be kept from the public eye , I really have to disagree with ‘judging’ any parent on how they parent their child as none of us are aware of the difficulties behind closed doors! Punishing a working parent by judging them for working hard isent nice! Not all parents can spend as much time as they want with their children, some have to work silly hours to make ends meet to support their families! The only advice I have would be if your are truely friends , to sit down and just ask your friend how she is , if she’s ok, how she feels etc if she needs some support! There’s so many avenues you could take without ( in my opinion) judging your friend over fb ! In my opinion reading your post just sounds like your slagging her off and also her kids for saying they misbehave , I’m sure she would appreciate you voicing your concerns to her rather then Facebook!
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Yes talk to her in a kind and caring way and yes help her and be the example of what to do!!! She’s probably already struggling with guilt
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I have 7 kids and 6 grandkids. She will regret it when they are grown
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Who the f are u to tell her she NEEDS to change her life??? There life works for them if u dont like it stay away from that family!! Opinions are like assholes every one has one…keep urs to urself!!!
Well if she is truly your best friend for all those years you should be able to speak to her and for her to understand your looking out for her not trying to attack or degrade her in any type of way
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If u were her best friend u would have already said something and helped her. I personality wouldn’t pick a shift that would make it impossible to see my kids but that’s me. I love my kids, I may not like them all the time but they are mine. She might not want to deal with them and in that case well maybe she’s depressed or maybe she doesn’t like being a mom. Talk to her.
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I’m glad you aren’t my “friend!”
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Do nothing until she talks to you about them unless you want your decade and a half friendship flushed down the toilet
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Who the hell are you
To tell another mom
How to parent her kids
You parent your kids the way you want to parent them
And let other mom’s parent their kids
You didn’t birth them
So you don’t get a say in it
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I would say, offer to take them. Show them that love, and patience. Be that example.🫶🏼 BUT If you can’t do that then you gotta mind your business 
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Idk how I’d approach this other than being loving and gentle about it. Express your concerns, see if there’s ways you can help maybe. Parents can work 3rd shift and still parent correctly. My best friend does it alone with 3 girls and spends every second she isn’t sleeping or working with her kids. She evens sacrifices her sleep to spend time with them and take them to do all sorts of fun things. She’s a great hard working mom and does really well raising them. On top of all that shes grieving a horrible loss and shes still showing up for her kids. Shes freaking super woman and i am in awe of her strength and dedication to her girls. She works 3rd shift because it works best for her. Just try and be gentle with your friend you may not know how she’s feeling about everything she has on her plate. You could be unaware of things that she may be dealing with. Life is so hard right now for all of us. Love on her and extend a helping hand, give her a big meaningful hug and let her know you’re on her side. 
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I think u should just mind ur own business. Parenting is hard, there’s no right way. Everyone is different. You shouldn’t say anything or ur going to lose ur friend. If u don’t like it then maybe u shouldn’t be friends with her anymore
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She needs to stop making kids and have u tried to offer her to help with her kids?
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It will bite them in the ass later in life. My stepdaughter did this, it’s biting her in the ass now. Her oldest is a slut, 21, baby, single the other is 15 and going to be following sisters’ footsteps. They are rude and ungrateful brats. They had everything done for them and have no idea what life is about.
If you are not willing to step In And help. Then keep your worries about her kids to yourself.
Seems like she’s going through A LOT. the last thing she needs is someone close to her criticizing her patenting when she’s probably doing the best she can do right now.
Offer a helping hand? Offer to take or kids somewhere next weekend? Look on indeed with her to find better options for work.
I’ve learned that if you’re not at least willing to help with a solution then don’t present any problems
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Prepare to lose a friend 
Im gonna cut you off at that first statement 
I’ll be damned if my “friend” tells me how to parent my kids.
Mind your business.
It’s not your business… 
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You ARE judging her bc she doesn’t patent the way you THINK she should be parenting. You are trying to pass your opinion of their household off as fact. Unless a child is being seriously neglected or abused is not any of your business what hours she works or how much time they spend at the grandparents… it’s friends like you that make people not need enemies.
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It’s none of your business how she parents or what’s going on at home. As long as the kids aren’t in any danger which it seems they are fine. At least mom has a babysitter or someone watching them and is not leaving them unsupervised then I don’t see a probably besides you being Judge Judy. She could be have no babysitter and not leave them with grandma just let the kids run around and run outside while she sleeps or she could be doing drugs and partying and sleeping all day but it’s not the case. This seems like a working hard good mama who is doing the best she can. How do you know she isn’t trying to change shifts? I doubt she tells you everything. The work industry is in deep 
. Alot are understaffed and plus you have no idea what goes on at her work. And who are you to tell her how to live her life and say she needs to change her parenting? 15 years of best friends don’t mean . Like I said this could be worse case scenario but I see nothing wrong with what this mama is doing. And if she seems irritable with her kids at times doesn’t mean she can’t handle them she’s probably super stressed from work, kids, hubby, housework. It’s alot for some people and that’s ok. I don’t blame her. I remember my mom always being tired but she put a roof over my head just like this mama. You want change stop being all up in her business and why don’t you give her a hand with her kids and make them little angels instead of judging her on social media!? It’s not your place, kids aren’t In any danger.
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This is exactly why people keep to themselves because of people like you!
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I feel you genuinely care, but it may be best to try to help by watching the kids or spending time with them while your friend is working. They are working and doing the best they can I’m sure. Try not to judge. Everyone’s lifestyle is different. Most families have to have both parents working which is sad but it is what it is. And at least they are working. Involve yourself with the kids. Help out as you can. Be there for your friend that clearly needs help with her kids. We are mothers to all kids. We are a village we must look out for each other.
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Y’all are bashing her for being concerned. You can’t have kids and then never spend time with them, even when it’s hard, and call yourself a parent. My dad worked 3 jobs and was still very involved. Even when he was dog tired. It’s become so normal to have kids, work full time, and leave them with someone else to raise. I don’t see parents that’s trying her hardest. I see parents taking the easy way out of it. If they spends an hour a day with them complaining and leaving them somewhere on the weekends when they’re off that’s not doing their best. I spend every waking moment with my girl that I can. I worked at 5 in the morning until 3 to 5 in the day. There were same days I pulled double shifts. I always came home and spent time with my child. I was dog tired and wanted to crawl in bed, but I also wanted to be an active parent. It’s hard as hell sometimes and it’s okay to leave them with a trusted adult to catch up on sleep or chores. But, both parents working the same shift with no effort to make a change in the routine, leaving them somewhere even when home and available, complaining about parents when they have to, is just not it. They’re tired, they’re fed up, and they’re just over it all. If you really want to help sit them down and tell them they’re us a much easier way to do this. Help them figure out a better way. That doesn’t leave them exhausted and away from their kids all the time. I’ve been there, my mom came to me and was honest. I was a single mom and struggling big time. But, she didn’t just look at me and tell me what I was doing wrong she helped me. That makes all the difference. Go to them and tell them “I’m worried about you all and you’re family. You’re both exhausted and not getting ti spend good quality time with your kids. I know you’re trying and I know it’s hard. How can I help you make things better? How can I help you guys find a better routine that doesn’t leave you both run ragged and missing your kids?” Explain to here the things you’re seeing. The kids are acting out because they kiss their parents. I see it all the time. We’re all human and all make mistakes. That’s okay. What’s not okay is knowing the mistake is being made snd choosing to ignore it.
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Everyone who says it’s none of her business, would probably be the first to blame the parent for an out of control teenager or god forbid an angry mass shooter
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I don’t think OP is in the wrong for being concerned, it’s definitely none of her business how her friend raises her kids as long as they’re safe and taken care of but I can see why some people would find this sad that she never sees her kids and just wants to send them off instead of spending time with them. I’d miss mine terribly, I miss my daughter like crazy when her grandparents take her for a night and I’m with her 24/7 as a stay at home mom lol. But if mom needs that break and kids are safe it’s none of my business and I’d keep my mouth shut.
Y’all are RUDE ASF! She’s this chicks BEAT FRIEND. 15 YEARS. Obviously, she cares about her and her family. And yes. It is her business too. That’s the problem now a days. Everyone looks the other way. Mind your business, not your concern. Until the kid is abused or does something really bad then it’s where were the parents, poor kids had no one, no one cares, etc. 
I’d say, say something but… Be prepared to lose her. You see how negative all these strangers act. People can’t handle criticism anymore. It’s crazy to me. Offer to help if you can. But to me, it’s seems the parents don’t give a shit. I wish you well. 
If anyone should say anything to her it should be the grandparents. Not you
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This is going to get worse as interest rates increase and mortgages increase along with the cost of living
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I think it’s nice you’re concerned for the kids, but, like others have said, it’s not really your concern how she chooses to parent.
The kids are probably better off with the grandparents if their parents don’t want to spend time with them. I’m sure when they’re older she’ll regret not spending time with them.
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If you care about the kids, I can see why you are concerned. Not everyone is the same. The parents may work very stressful jobs and spending a lot of time with thier kids and over worked and over stressed may be overwhelming for them. They may be doing the best they can for thier children. I would offer to help out by babysitting or take the kids on an outing myself. Perhaps even help clean the house or cook a meal enabling them to have more family time.
Unless you are helping her raise her kids or helping financially support her household your opinion isn’t needed. You can mention what you see if and when she complains to you and asks your opinion. Otherwise don’t point out a problem unless you’re involved in the solution.
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Mind your own business it doesn’t have anything to do with you.
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for one thing kids are not “bad” their behaviors might be awful but the child is not bad—I don’t think you should say anything unless she asks for advice on their behavior–then you can offer advice or ask what you can do to help.
15 years of friendship, you tell her just like you told us! There is no shame, no wrong and if you love her and her family, tell her.
If you’re best friends, and for 15 years……you should be able to let her know her kids are off the hook and she’s a mess.
Not everyone can do this but you can! That’s why you’re her BEST friend.
Best friends tell each other what others won’t. Most times family won’t say anything either.
I’ve told my best friend before when her kids, and her parenting and her behavior were not cool. Was she mad yes, because I called her out on it. It took her seconds to get over, and a few minutes for her to tell me that she knows, she can see it but she doesn’t know what to do.
Women help other women!
So I’m sure your best friend knows, just talk to her like you did us.
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Not your business. If you were watching the kids then it possibly would be.
I find it’s fine to have an opinion that isn’t in line with close friends but it’s not really your place . Everyone is different .You have to think to yourself will bringing it to her attention really change anything and if she is like that it may not change things for the better she does change shifts . It may ruin your relationship also . As long as the kids are safe and taken care of it shouldn’t matter who they spend the most time with . Maybe that is how she was raised ? In other cultures it very normal For older generations to raise the kids while the younger parents work the grandparents take care of the children I think the only difference here is they don’t live in the same household.
A lot of y’all on this thread don’t love the children in your lives like you claim you do. What’s happened to it taking a village to raise a child? If no one can tell you what they’re observing without you looking objectively at their statements instead of assuming they’re being critical… these kids are gonna continue growing up with trauma from absent parents… because you be in the home & still be absent
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First of all it’s not your place to tell her how to parent her kids but….having said that, if you are truly best friends, you should be able to talk about any and everything. Just sit her down and tell her your concerns. Be careful to keep it to your concerns for the kids not putting her down for her parenting skills if you don’t want to risk damaging your friendship
I’d be and have been that friend that tell them straight up when no one else will.
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