If I even looked at my momma sideways I’d be picking myself up off the floor. Y’all are to soft. I’d never beat my child but Kids need to be punished when they do wrong. You don’t want to “spank” your child for being disrespectful or hitting or biting, you’re just looking for bigger problems for them in the future. They are gonna grow up thinking there will never be consequences for their actions and then what… spanking a child is far different than hitting them or slapping them. A swat on the butt is not “abuse”. Everyone always wants to turn to the child having a medical problem when in reality 9 out of 10 times the child is being a little shit bc they know they can get away with it.
My little girl is the same and is under assessment for ADHD and sensory disorder also social communication disorder her older sisters are both diagnosed with ADHD and other disabilities it’s hard. Speak to your doctor they may refer you to a paedatrician.
Take her to the doctor for a once-over just to be sure there isn’t a physical explanation first, then get them to refer you to someone who can do some therapy with her. At this age, they really struggle with expressing their emotions appropriately. They just don’t how yet.
Excuse the novel with chapters but Iv been doing this for my daughter since sh was 3 and I swear by it,shz 11 now and I haven’t used the meltdown method in years, it didn’t take too long for my girl to understand what happens whn having a meltdown, sh takes herself to her meltdown whn sh needs and if shz feeling sad or whatever shl make her safe hut, let only me know where sh is and tht shz tht (for safety reasons tht sh understands) but her brothers ain’t allow in her safe space unless sh says which is her sence of control, best if luck
A child that acts so badly is in need of love. I know that is the last thing you want to hear. Take her to a doctor and have her tested for autism, epilepsy and ADHD. Do not spank her.
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May have something. Get her assessed and if all comes back normal. Hate to say it but,… discipline.
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Don’t hit a child…. 
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Time out, naughty step, dont shout at her just be calm when she kicks off dont talk to her just explain what’s she has done wrong and put her in time out and tell her how long she has to wait there, if she moves you have to keep putting her back there calmly even if she moves all day you still have to put her back there till she has done her 5 mins, then go to her talk to her ask her if she knows why shes been put in time out and explain why she shouldn’t do what shes done, just dont shout be calm cuz if she can tell shes getting to you she will carry on what shes doing
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I totally disagree with not spanking - kids need disapline!
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Sorry didn’t mean to post yet…
Kids need dicipline
I would definetly talk to her doctor but all kids need discipline
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Sometimes when you think you are being mean, you are not. You have got to take control now or it will only be harder as she gets older. Get down on her lever as you talk to her, take her firmly but gently by the arm look her in the eye and tell her what you expect. I’m not sure if time out works, but give it a try. And you have to follow through with what you do to discipline her. I regret that I did not do more with my son, and he is now 38 and we are currently estranged.
Bust her ass spare the rod spoil the child it won’t her her
I’m not trying to be argumentative here but am I the only one that thinks it’s alarming that even before a couple swats on the ass to let the child know that their behavior won’t be tolerated every one is recommending therapy, and a psychological evaluation which will probably end up with the child on some sort of mind altering drug for years.This is why this country is in the shape it’s in !! If your not old enough to remember childhood prior to time outs and participation trophies find someone who is that can explain a little fear goes a long way and it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. If my child deliberately kicked me in the balls their ass would be so sore that I guarantee you they would think long and hard about doing it again.A young child will constantly test you in search of that imaginary line they can’t cross and if your punishment for a child deliberately kicking you in the balls is a time out or some goofy ass drugs then my advice is go by a good athletic supporter with a solid cup.
There is so many different things that could be going on! If she’s acting that way And you guys can’t find anything that works, I would talk to her doctor. There is so much help out there. Every kid is different, so what works for one child may not work for another.
First make sure nothing is going on with her such as ADHD… then if that isn’t the case it’s time to parent. That means you either take things, ground her from anything she loves - such as tv, iPads, etc. Don’t bargain and don’t give chances. If she misbehaves, discipline her. Ans if that fails sounds like she either needs a belt or a switch. That’s how I learned consequences and that’s how I taught them.
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My son stopped acting like that at age 2…i would say you might want to talk to her doctor about it because shes old enough to know better by that age unless you just didnt discipline/redirect her until now, not trying to be rude saying that either btw. My son is 3 and 8 months and is a very well behaved child for the most part because we nipped it in the butt when he first started acting that way, when he was 2…
Too late for her not being mean! Beat her ass!
It’s called discipline. Cause and consequence. It’s not too late to start.
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Coloring? Running? Tumbling? Karate? She need an outlet
You don’t need the doctors 
they are to quick these days to stamp a label on the children!
She is testing boundaries and you need to let her know that it is not okay, you need to introduce a time out step etc, and a few smacked bottoms, she will soon learn.
Also don’t shout at her, get down to her level look her in the eyes and sternly tell her 'this is what is going to happen if you do that again
X
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My little sister used to be the same way. She was diagnosed with ADHD at 3 years old! I would speak with your doctor on what approach to take. There could be more underlining issues you never know. Each child is different.
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She needs to be assessed, poor daddy guess she doesnt want siblings afterall!
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Tear that ass up every single time I would if it was mine and mine got it and turned out just fine- respectful grown ups
It’s not being mean it’s guidance…if you don’t guide her now she could carry on through her life thinking its ok…I personally use a step if they have been naughty if they need a chill just to calm down it seems to work but my 2 still don’t like the word no at 3+7 I’ve said in the past when there on one and I’m mean" good if you think that, I’m here to parent 1st be a friend 2nd"
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Come to her level, tell her she shouldn’t do nothing like that, it’s not nice to treat people like that, we should show some love like hugs, kisses, hitting people, doing all of those things are not showing love…
Or sometimes kids are doing what they see on TV or in the home that’s why we as parents needs to watch what we do, watch in front of our kid’s…
Also some kids shows out to get some attention from thier parents, because this is the only way they can get attention maybe telling your child how much you love her, your thankful for being her Mom do something nice for her, tell her that you love her give her hugs, kisses take her to McDonald’s buy her a happy meal, take her to the park, keep encouraging her, love on her, watch her change…
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Hows her diet? Sleep routine? Have you talked to her doctor? Is "redirecting " your only method?
Y’all are going to come for me idgaf a good spanking would solve it
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Y’all ever heard of an ass whooping. Do it once deliver it good and she will understand. Come out me with your child abuse all you want but a 4 year old that I carried can’t not and will not control me. If you say no stick to it,if she is rude put her to sleep when she is having an awesome time. Remember raise your kids like u could die tomorrow 
who will take her
Give her to me for a couple of months 
by time she comes home she definitely won’t be kicking screaming biting hitting scratching or throwing things
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As a child myself my dad was a tough dad…he spanked us as we needed it to teach us what we did wrong had consequences.what I learn was respect and boundaries. Children who were disapline with spanking learned action causes reaction…kids today are whiney disrespectful expecting things given to them …
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I’m in the same boat with my 5 year old. Literally nothing works. Not gentle parenting. Not yelling. Not any kind of punishment. Not giving him outlets. And for him it’s not even that he’s mean, he gets mean after being hyper for a while but it’s constant all day. We’re thinking about getting him tested for adhd. My oldest has autism and when we had him evaluated the neurologist on the team told us that kids normally will grow out of hyper activity by age 5-6. But my sons seems to be getting worse haha. Good luck I know it’s hard 
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Mommy she is being mean so you have to be the mean mommy, when she is nice you can be the nice mommy. Make sure you talk to her and let her know she is making you be the mean mommy . Its her choice if see has the mean mommy or nice mommy
I implemented a thinking mat when I was younger and it really worked wonders, now its straight get to the wall lolz they’re a little older now so they understand that basically the wall is pretty much the same concept as the thinking mat … a time of reflection (I use a minute per year of their age as an indication of how long they have to sit ie: 3 minutes for the 3year old)
Let her know what it is she needs to consider reflecting over? comunicate with her, she is trying to do this with you but doesnt know how to without coming across as a little meany, consistency is the key! I have been teaching my nephew to use his big boy words to speak out about what he sees or feels x Good Luck and I hope this helps! A little tough Love helps tOo 
Tell her that’s not nice I bit my son back before and he didn’t like it. But also tell her it’s ok to be angry sometimes and if u feel angry her are some techniques like wall push ups, a washing machine (where she moves her arms like a twist) or talking
For those saying spanking, spanking will only cause more anger in the child. If a parent solves problems with anger , the child will continue do the same. It’s also been proven that spanking can cause psychological issues. I would join a gentle parenting group to get more advice. But in the mean time, i would recommend time outs. Taking away toys or turning off the TV (whatever she likes, take it away as a consequence to her actions) and communicate with her that there will be repracutions when she can’t be nice… distracting my son with something else works alot of time too when he’s being mean. Oh and lots of love and understanding. Even us adults have breakdowns, we can’t expect children not to💗
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Talk to her. Time outs, take away her favourite toys. My son used to head butt me, slap my face, even annoy people while out shopping ( keeping his arms out straight and swaying them hard on their bags or trolleys). He soon stopped. We are the boss. Take no shit. If she’s mean, be mean back. Mimic her behaviour perhaps, I just wouldn’t recommend hitting. Maybe distract her and once she’s calm again, tell her what she did wrong and how it isn’t acceptable
It’s not being mean It’s being the parent. Showing her who is in charge and sets the rules. Sounds like right now that is her
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Can this mommy kindly direct msg me pls?
What have y’all done to correct this? Time out, losing privileges, talking??? Sounds like she knows she can get away with it to me. I spanked my kids ONLY WHEN NEEDED & I have 3 adult children with kids of their own & they get spanked if they need it & again they’re raising LOVED behaved kids.
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Most of you in the comments praising smacking as discipline should be ashamed of yourselfs.
“Oh shes just being naughty and needs a smack”
How about i smack you when your out of line? No that would be considered assault and you can be charged for that! Why is it any different for a child??
Are any of you even aware of how many adults are now being diagnosed with ADHD and autism because it was never picked up on as a child because all you did was beat the shit out of your kids for stepping out of line. 
Get her evaluated by her pediatrician & maybe play therapy. Rages often indicate a problem. Also give her tools to use her words to express how she’s feeling, or maybe an emoji chart with words to show, mad, sad, fear, disgust, frustration.
Find another outlet—go on a run together, have her punch a pillow—ask the pediatrician or therapist for suggestions. Also teach or get someone to teach her calming and meditation techniques. Martial arts can help teach discipline and respect, plus may help her self esteem and self confidence.
The Supernanny shows are good, plus books. I read “Your Difficult Child” and found it helpful, plus parenting groups and classes where you can ask for advice.Good for you for reaching out on this forum!
I also found it helpful to include behavioral goals on a chore chart. If she can refrain from violence when asked to do something, she gets a gold star. Had a son with oppositional defiant disorder, so he’d argue forever. He got stars for brushing teeth without a fuss, getting dressed without a fuss, etc.
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Get yourself training in proper restraint and deescalation techniques. Coming from someone who worked in a school where we would have to put a child in a hold because they became assaultive, if you don’t do something now to mitigate the triggers and associated violence you will have MUCH to worry about in the future
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Maybe if you start being a mother not a friend. Omg I can only imagine if you let her carry on like this
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If discipline hasn’t worked… and reaffirming boundaries hasn’t worked… then perhaps you should speak to a doctor or behaviour specialist. She may need to be looked at for something like ADHD or Autism as that behaviour can be indicative of of neuro diversity of some kind.
However if you are quite ‘soft’ with her and unable to enforce discipline simply cos you don’t want to be ‘mean’… it might just be she knows she can get away with it as you won’t do anything about it… not being firm and strict isn’t doing any favours to your child if that is the case… a parent has to be the authority figure and make sure their children learn how to behave and if you’re letting things slide so as not to upset her or hurt her feelings…. That is the problem. But like I say, if that isn’t the case… have a professional assess her and make sure she gets the help she needs… however a lot of the suggestions for neuro diverse kids is to maintain structure and routine as well and clear discipline (and I’m not talking hitting here just strict boundaries)
Hope you get to the root of abd can help her alter her behaviour x
stop being afraid to be mean. if she kicks you kick her back, if she hits or bites, do the same.
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Take EVERYTHING away. Leave her bed and clothes, but take everything else. Good behavior and good decisions earn things back. 
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Meet her actions with the same thing she will see the difference first hand and change behavior
My son bit me I bit back.
He did a tantrum so did it.
He learned quickly not to do those things and has never repeated any of that behavior since.
Hands arent for spanking only love. I had to spank him 7times in my son’s 12 yrs of life.
That is the last possible punishment ever.
And there is always a verbal warning on repeative behavior this will happen if you don’t stop etc. Make them think on there choices every action has a reaction
It didn’t take my son long to figure out that. And make the better choice for himself. I haven’t needed to spank him since is was about 9
At the same time give more Postive one on one time and redirect into activities
I got my son into karate it helped with the simulation and disapline he needed to be positively redirected without much of an issue
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I suggest you watch this and truly listen. I’ve been an angry parent for too long with misplaced anger. Ever since I’ve changed my mindset parenting has been a lot more… enjoyable. I also suggest Live On Purpose TV on YouTube. He has a few playlists that have been super helpful.
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My two children are on both either the Autism spectrum and ADHD. My suggestion would be to do your research and then speak to your pediatrician.I don’t mean anything rude by this at all.It’s just easier to rule out possible options before other punishments.
And I’m ALWAYS available for a ear to listen and help any way I can 
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Be mean back! Sometimes it’s all you can do.
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Children often emulate behavior they’ve observed in others. Is there a tv show, movie, or something she has watched lately where she could have picked up this behavior. Has she experienced any kind of trauma. Children can have difficulty processing emotions, especially if they are confused and traumatized, and it can come out in unexpected ways. Definitely set clear expectations about acceptable behavior, but finding the underlying cause is your best bet to help her feel better. Happy people don’t behave that way towards others. Find out why she’s so unhappy and angry. There is a reason. Hitting her back will only cause her to bury it deeper, and eventually she will be dealing with the hurt and anger as an adult without any conscious awareness as to why. Let her know that it’s okay to have feelings of anger. They are there to guide us. Seeking help from a psychologist could be the right choice for your family right now. Good luck.
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Remove her from the situation and put her in her room or another area where she cannot hurt herself. Tell her “when you calm down we can talk” or “I think you need a break, let’s sit here.”
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Have you spoken about this to her pediatrician or any kind of doctor or psychologist? To a degree it’s normal for toddlers to be somewhat violent but if it’s really frequent it doesn’t hurt to have her assessed for possible causes for this behavior.
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It seems she want attention. So I would make extra time 1:1 n go that rout. Every behavior is communication
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I wouldn’t spank her. If you don’t want her hitting or kicking. That only teaches her thats what to do when she is upset.
I tell my son (2 years old) that hitting and kicking is for balls only. And redirect every time.
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When she throughs a tantrum keep quiet then when she is done talk to her about what she did she’s responding negatively because she has a lot of unwanted attention and when you talk to her teach he to find other interesting options like reading and watching TV
I feel you here. My 4 year old son is exactly the same. He calls me a fat bitch an old bitch he kicks hits screams when he goes on a time out he throws everything he can get his hands on. My dad has Tourette’s so not swearing around him isn’t easy for my dad!
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I have 3 kids and am a child development major. Spanking is not effective. When you resort to aggressive behavior, its because you have ran out of options and are frustrated. Even at 4 shes telling you something by acting out. She can be over stimulated, bored, tired ect. You know her the best.
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Dose she have an underlining health issue that hasn’t been picked up yet?
It’s called hand to Butt Cheeks and let that child know who is the boss… Period
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Show her the movie major Payne 
scared my 10 year old into behaving…. For a minute
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My son did this due to sensory overload. Turns He has ADHD. So talking to him calmly and redirect with calm behavior… he slowly start to respond. Key is be patient.
When I had my children at that age, with tantrums,biting, we as parents gave:time out on a mat, where we could see them, gave them 5min, if they moved we added time, while on mat explain, in their language, the behaviour, is not nice,tell them when time for you to leave the mat,ask for, apology,(sorry), tell them if it happens again this is where you sit, follow through,
If the child is doing good,aknowledge with saying I’m proud,
In return maybe a new book from the library
All of you who say “the comments break your heart” because of spanking. I hope I don’t live by y’all. I don’t want my kid killed by yours when they’re the next school shooter. Y’all need to stop being afraid of your kids. 1 good swat on the rear with an open hand works wonders. I’m just saying. My kid learns her behavior is not ok. After me redirecting her 4092849 times, it’s time for a swat. Time out is a joke. Idol threats don’t work. But let me tell you. My kid is more afraid of losing screen time then she is of a spanking. Get a life.
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If talking about feelings and time outs do not work…. Whoop that ass 
That’s not okay! You’re the boss.
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Take away something she likes and tell her why your taking it
Smack that ass,mama! You better nip it in the bud, now while she’s young…the older the worse…
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Oh the comments of “just spank that ass” breaks me. I been here and I’m still struggling with this. The OP left out a lot of information… I have a speech delayed son and he acts just like this and requires 90 percent of my attention… I had to take a step back and do time outs. I still struggle and lose my shit but sometimes we have to step back and see the bigger picture… I’m not saying what she is doing is right but at 4 there’s probably something going on. She has a voice tell her to use it
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I’m making a second comment… I feel you should speak to the child’s doctor and get to the problem. You seem to just be lost and we all have been there I promise. It gets better❤️ I wouldn’t ask strangers online cause it’s easy to say “spank her ass” when it’s not their child
Spank her, put her in time out. School can help a lot too if you’re putting her in it. She’ll watch other kids behave and learn from them. Besides that all I can really say is visit her doctor… see if they refer you to a behavior health doctor or counselor to try and figure out why she acts this way.
Get a referral for a pediatric therapist and developmental pediatrician and have her evaluated for o.d.d (oppositional defiance disorder) and ADHD.
Watch super nanny that’ll help
Redirect sounds like you don’t believe in spankings. Other than taking away stuff she enjoys that’s all I can recommend.
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I’ll start with the training at home you have to be stern doesn’t mean you’re being mean can’t have the children running you you have to put your foot down when it’s necessary and what is Dad saying about this he has to be stern this is when timeouts occur and things are taken away for bad behavior they have to know that there are consequences to their actions.
Hmm… I remember an advert with a kid being a top class cock in a shop, so the mum throws a tantrum and the kid gets embarrassed and starts behaving… maybe that?
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Maybe consult a behavior analyst!
Becoming a parent doesnt mean you will naturally have all the answers to parent the child you bring into the world. Rule out physical health and mental health as contributators to her behavior and then either way you have a starting place and know who to seek help from with nourshing your child and feeling all the love. Something is definitely wrong. Long hugs
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How are you switching activities.
Try advising the child ahead of time eg in 5mins we will be doing this so can you finish what you are doing please and meet me (insert room when you have finished putting that away ) because we need to…
(explain the process of the next activity.)
Okay I will meet you there but let me know if you need help cleaning this up okay.
Stand where you can see child but they can’t see you repeat steps of reminding them what needs to be done if needed and offering help.
Remember that you need to stay calm because if you arnt calm they won’t be and you will just be bouncing behaviour between you and your child.
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Sounds like you might need an exercism or something I’m not a parent so I can’t offer any advice but I’m sure she’ll grow out of it with a little help and maybe explaining that what she is doing hurts and it makes you sad that she’s hurting you like that? Good luck!
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Personally I would take her to a therapist. She sounds like she’s either dealing with a trauma and acting out or she’s just going through a faze but a faze you need professional help with. If you don’t get in front of it it’ll only get worse. If it’s a trauma then you definitely need to get to the bottom of it. It could still be going on. Good luck. I truly hope you get through this
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There’s a lot of missing information here. Many things can contribute to acting out.
Perhaps consult with a therapist and her pediatrician
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My son is 4 and diagnosed with autism. Spankings, yelling, redirecting, soft talk, timeouts don’t work, BUT!!! I finally talked to my doctor, and became the parent I’ve always hated. I give him a touch of meletonin to calm him down, while giving him a time in by holding him to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself or others. It’s literally the only thing that would stop him. At one point, the social workers were trying to get me to put him in a home it was too bad, but I WILL NOT give up on my kid, so WE found a solution. And FYI, the internet is a mean place to ask questions. I feel for you. I still cry a lot from the stress, but we can have company now which is nice
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This just didn’t happen overnight, she is 4 and thinks she rules the house is getting her way,first child??take a step back and review it, if there is anger, defuse it, what ever you do, don’t get angry back, take a deep breath and make sure to talk calmly, next year when school starts, different world,hope this helps
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When I was a child and I acted up stomped my feet screened and fell on the floor mom would calmly pick me up find a chair sit down in it put me across her lap and put a good old fashioned hand on my rear end it worked every time and I learned that if I did wrong I would get my butt spanked it was not abuse I learned bad behaveyer would not be tolerated.I did not hate my parents I respected them and when I grew up I was a better person and did not get into trouble cause I knew I’d I did I would be punished maybe not spanked at that age but I would be punished.
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I would certainly find something that works for her Now as she is so young Have you tried The Nanny’s methods Time out and rewards for good positive behaviour. Consistency is #1
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It’s possible that it could be attention seeking behavior. Not that she doesn’t receive attention from you, but perhaps your responses are stronger when she engages in the negative behaviors. Try positively reinforcing the desired behaviors that you wish to see, even the small stuff! When she engages in a kind behavior, no matter how small, make it a huge deal and provide her with the attention she could be craving! It is possible that when she receives this attention from you, she will naturally gravitate to those desired behaviors you wish to see!
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Maybe you should look for an underlying condition. My grandson was a bit like this and we took him to a pediatrician and it was discovered he had sensory overload syndrome. Too much stimulation, light, sound, sugar intake. We dealt with those things and then it was discovered he is ADHD. He is now on meds to cope with school and is coping much better. He is very clever and a deep thinker and his life experience being an only child raised by parents, grand parents and aunts and uncles, means he is way ahead in life experience of the average 6 year old. I’m sure he will go on to be quite a successful adult, as his father and uncle have turned out to be, despite being ADHD. However I remember how difficult it was raising my boys and how taxing it can be now raising my grandson. I wish you every blessing in raising your dear daughter 
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My nephew raised his hand and hit me once before on my hand . I gave him a smack on his hand too. We went back and forth and a bit more strength (obviously not too much but enough) . And he put his hand to do it again, and I told him if he does it again I’ll hit his hand harder. He gave up at that point. Mind you he’s a tough cookie lol no tears or nothing . I told him don’t do anything to anyone that you don’t want done to you. He doesn’t hit anymore lol .
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It sounds like it is time to be evaluated to see if she has ADH, ADHD, and some other disorders that can help her, with medication, to be more comfortable with herself and others. It sounds like she is frustrated and anxious. I am speaking as a mother who’s children had ADHD. I have grandchild with autism and another with a low IQ poor social skills and other problems. I speak with experience and love for a solution to your problems. No judgment about your parenting. Good luck!
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FIRST BEFORE ANYTHING…get a physical exam…or a yearly health check up…get some blood drawn…make sure there isnt something that really is an illness …you would be surprised…i knew this lady who had a daughter who was little devil and they found out she had dislexia…or deslexia…i dont know how that is spelled…they helped her with that and she changed drastically…or she could have add or adhd…whatever those are…my son i have 5 kids one girl and 4 boys…but one of my sons was becoming a pest in class and the teacher reached out to me…im so glad she did…for some strange reason…in my sons 2nd grade year…we found out he couldnt read …that was so odd…i read with him every day …i think he went to kindergarten…i didnt understand this…so we worked and worked on his reading skills and he did have to go to a special ed class for awhile…and he picked back up and was fine…he is a dr of pharmacy now…so dont dismay…i had to have some extra help when i was young because my dad was army and we kept moving and i had to catch up. something is bothering her…tell the dr your situation with how she is acting and then tell him you want a physical to make sure there is nothing else wrong with her…then when its found that she is totally healthy…then you are the one who needs to learn how to deal with this…we all have challenges in life believe me…like i said i had 5 kids and none of them were alike…God bless you and good luck…
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Hitting is not the answer. Set clear expectations and boundaries and always talk with her about why she acted as she did and give examples of what she can do diffrently next time. If over time there is no improvement maybe have small consequence for her acting out. Communication is essential and lead by example. Maybe some discusions and examples of what are feelings and emotions are and how to handel them. The child in that moment of hitting out may just need a distraction to reset her self emotionaly to just calm and refocus.
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she does it because it obviously works for her… do you give in to stop the behavour? which means she wins, no judgement, but dont give in stand your ground and do not reward bad behavour, actions have consequenses and she will need to understand that before she goes to school because there are bigger tougher kids there.
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Sit down an talk with her find out the root of the problem and ask her how you and her working together can fix it so she doesn’t feel the need to act that way I have a son with sensory issues and that has worked for me most of the time there’s more to what the child is feeling best wish mama
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Love all the perfect little mummy comments! just so you know you are doing the best you can do so don’t feel down about it as every mum and child is different so don’t judge yourself by these comments! Some children need help and some children are just spoilt and need to be reminded who is boss!
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first - I would rule out any health issues - get some blood work done and maybe test her for seizure activity. Check her ears too - sometimes it’s utter fatigue. Next, ignore as much as you humanely can and super reward her for kindness. Exemplify it as much as you can by saying things like I feel really frustrated - I sorta want to kick the wall can you help me find something else to do? Come up with a few options like dumping out marbles into a pie tin - I suggest this because it sounds harsh and she needs harsh. Get some kinetic sand to stick your hands in and say ugh I’m so frustrated right now - I need to put my hands in magic sand so they can be happy hands _ make sure it has glitter. If you think she gets out of control in 2 seconds - give her bubbles so she can blow her anger to (God) to get some love on it. but you are gonna go around doing it - so she sees you feeling the way she feels and then switching it in a way she can - make batches of playdoh with different colors and squeeze the anger into it.
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With my 4 year old we practice deep breaths and then have a conversation about what the problem is. If he is still acting out it’s time out gaining a minute for every minute he screams. Consistency is the most important thing. Make sure you and your husband are on the same page as well as her school if she’s in one.
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Encourage the meanness. Tell her to wake up and choose violence every day. Teach her how to swing a sword and how to throw an axe. Nurture her ferocity. Let the little drengr become the badass shieldmaiden she was born to be. Be proud as she instills fear into the hearts of men and teach her that mercy is for the weak.
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