Take a week out, take your son on a beautiful spot, where you and him can talk about LIFE, People, and his Future that it is in his Heart Mind And Hands.
As a twenty year old itās hard to look past the fact our world is hell. Honestly that viewpoint is realistic and realism is another style of existence. Most of us will never get to enjoy life because we have to work two full time jobs to make it. Just work on incorporating stress relievers like videogames, books, therapy. Our generation doesnāt view life the same.
Sometimes they have vitamin deficiency. .like Bā¦ get an extreme blood panel doneā¦tell them he is depressed. Do Christian Counceling. He needs to learn why he is here. .set short term goals, reach them, so it doesnāt seem so overwhelming.
Sorry your going through this.
Your son might need some more professional help.
When he says he feels like we will never reach our dreams just work etc and dieā¦ maybe tell him to write some dreams down.
Write some realistic ones and then the big ones.
Mark them off as he gets to them. Like a bucket list.
As for him wanting to harm himselfā¦ I dont know with a 17year old but I know when my son at 10 started saying it I tried everything. Then one day I just broke down and lost it. I told him how I went through my pregnancy to have this amazing baby. How much labour hurt. How I did all this to have this child and give them the best life I could.
How I didnt do all that including teaching him, caring for him, doing the best I can for him to just up and end it. I explain to him we have one lifeā¦ death is much longer. So we need to try and make it work for all the people who arenāt hereā¦ all the ones who have it worse and for ourselves because you may get 80years of life but you will get way more years dead. So be grateful you have the chance to have this life even if its not how you wanted.
He hasnāt said it again
Hey mama, I started tearing up reading this cuz it sounds like Iām that 17 year old son of yours all over again. Iām 28 now and have been living with undiagnosed mental health issues for some time .
When I was in HS I never thought I would make it to 28 or achieve any of the things I never thought I would.
What helped me though was being reminded of what we can find joy and gratitude in. Nature was the only thing that could slap some sense into me when I wanted to die. It still is what humbles me when I feel that way today.
But Therese feelings, they never go away mama it can only be managed.
You gotta remind him, that your love is there to help him any way he needs. Not the way you need but the way he needs. You need to sit and talk with him first, if you are not a confidant already itās going to be really hard to build that trust with him but ideally we donāt want to feel like this but itās all weāre used to so when someone wants to help us we donāt know how to accept or take that help.
I lived that miserable life he described for 10 years until I was able to land the job Iām passionate about. I couldāve easily disappeared in that time but my love for my friends and my family for fighting for me and the natural essence of love that exists.
Your son is probably filled with emotional and feelings and so much love that this world canāt handle. Find a way he can expel that love from within him.
Good luck mama
I think there is a problem with young people today with that same issue and I understand it itās hard to think that you might work your whole life for nothing and how to prepare them for that but maybe a support group would help Hilton Hotel names may be human someone online but Iām thinking maybe a support group would help
Iām sure itās been mentioned but maybe itās the time for medication. It was a lifesaver, literally, for my son
Tell him it doesnāt matter if he goes to school and gets a degree to work for some rich ceo.
There are tons of things to do with our lives, he should do something he enjoys. Break that stigma. Donāt be afraid to fail. But definitely DONT waste your life working for a ceo who doesnāt give a shit about you.
Take your son to counseling pleaseā¦
There is nothing to be ashamed ofā¦My son was just like your sonā¦His moods were up and down like a Rollercoaster and one day he was very depressed and the next day notā¦
It sounds like your son could be Bipolar.
He needs to be checked out for thatā¦
There is meds he can take that will help him but counseling is a must.
Counseling will help him learn how to deal with his depressionā¦
Please Please Please get him to counseling TODAYā¦
And your son may be reaching out for help,thatās why he talked to his little brother about his feelings of taking his own lifeā¦He knows his little brother well enough to know he would tell you.
Being a teenager is not easy in todayās world and being a teenager that is fighting major depression is even harder.
He has all these ups and downs moments and donāt understand whyā¦itās allot to handle for a young person.
He may be showing anger toward your younger son for telling on him but your younger son did what he wanted him to doā¦He wants help but he doesnāt know how to go about telling youā¦
Hang in there mom,you will be okā¦Get the help your son needs and he will make it Thur thisā¦
My blessings to you bothā¦
Check out DBT therapy. Helped me immensely I used to feel and be the same way. I never though I would make it to my 20th birthday nor did I want to. Now Iām married and looking forward to the future. Also maybe check out a residential treatment center it will help get him out of the environment and will be 24/7 support for not just him but you all as a family. Id be happy to chat more about it all if you would like to message me. Hope some of this helps. Hang in there and know its nothing you as a parent are doing sometimes we just donāt know what we need so we canāt ask for the help.
From personal experience- reaching out to school and all has done more harm. They treat you differently and they make it very obvious. Itās a humiliating position. Thereās not much you can do. Just try to brighten his mood a bit. Do more things as a family I guess. Not much Ever worked for me, I struggled w depression and was cutting from 8th grade to senior years hs. Primary reason was I had no friends and everyone I ever had turned on me at one time or another. Freshman in college and decently better. People arenāt as bad as hs. His outlook on the world is most likely related to observing other people in life. I had a similar one before. I still sort of do. Itās a way of saying society sucks or society hasnāt been good to you. School counselors suck. I donāt recommend them at all. If anything try an outside counselor. And even then thereās problems. Maybe to change his outlook get him interested in starting his own business? Find his interests, if he likes fixing things, spot him the money to get himself started in that.
Of course he feels lile that! Thatās because that is EXACTLY the message they give young people. And the way we have responded to mass death because of a global pandemic is solidifying this message to young people everywhere: you donāt matter, your choices and desires donāt matter. Shut up, go grab an apron, clock in, and work until you either die or your boss gets rid of you. Donāt complain. Donāt leave. Donāt do anything except work until you die.
Best of luck getting him help. He sees reality for what it currently is. Itās hard to shut that off. But maybe he can learn to cope.
Please put him on medication. You can try the diet control thing but medication is first.
Im not a parent. Iām a college student providing some perspective. what your son is saying/feeling is pretty much the collective outlook on life of gen z, including myself. we are collectively depressed. [not everyone of course, but its common.] Personally, the part where he said we are born to go to school, graduate, get a job and die really resonates with me. I donāt think this is a ānegativeā perspective. I think it is realistic. When it comes down to it, regardless of how beautiful life is, that is the reality of what life entails. That is what is discouraging about life. Despite that I enjoy my life, school, friends, that doesnāt change the fact that life truly is working just to live. My parents canāt convince me to change my opinion so I wouldnāt bother trying to change your sonās opinion either. its my responsibility to change this opinion. HOWEVER, I do not want to harm myself. So in your sonās case, in which he has stated he wants to harm himself, i would look into professional help to manage that asap. Professional help is necessary if it impacts his day to day functioning. (i.e. not eating well, poor mood regulation, self-sabotaging behavior). but in terms of changing his outlook on life and is not guaranteed. its a matter of a difference in opinion. only he can choose to not think this way. you cant āget him to where he is good.ā he will have to learn to live with these thoughts and learn how to not let them control him. but, you canāt get rid of it. Many comments are saying to commit your son to a ward essentially and immediately start him on medication. This is ONLY valid in my opinion if a psychiatrist suggests it. However, committing your son/forcing meds if it isnāt necessary and without his consent is incredibly cruel, and may worsen his mental health and his relationship with you (parents).
Your young son was very brave. Betrayal or the seeming of it. Is a powerful deterant.
See how really mad he gets when he finds out you posted this on the internet.
& let him know you donāt have to work for a CEO At someone company. You CAN BE THE CEO of your OWN BUSINESS.
I was like this from 9 til about 13-14? Maybe. But because my mother had died and I was forced to move in with my father who only wanted me bc I was getting a death benefit check from her passing and he was behind on child support. Long story short, DONT put ur kids in foster homes or special hospitals for kids who try to hurt their self. Iāve been there and wanted to hurt myself even more bc I did not feel loved by someone who was never there and when he did come around, sent me away AND kept that check every month when I was gone. Talking to someone was the ONLY thing that helped, BUT my therapist would go back and tell my dad everything I told them smh and that did not make things better bc u trust them to not go and tell, but they do. Sometimes itās best to talk to someone and not have it repeated back to ur parents bcā¦ itās just a kid thing. I couldnāt honestly tell u why i didnāt talk to my dad about my problems other than after I tell him, I get sent to all these weird places 
Sorry I need to quit using this voice thing for me messages and stuff it never says what I wanted to say
take him to get evaluated. he could be severely depressed. so having him evaluated would go a long way towards helping him.
It sounds like to me he has a depression issue. Which I do as well so I totally get it. I had to force myself to think positive when I really wanted to think negative. Your 8 year old did do the right thing by telling you something was wrong with his brother. He cares.
How you figure it out soon. By my age itās almost impossible to get any help.
Pray mama, pray! Read Godās Word, it and it alone can truly give you hope and wisdom. Jeremiah 29:11 saysā¦ For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you to give you hope in the future. John 10:10 saysā¦
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
Philippians 4:6-7 says Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
There is hope in Jesus. And He will guide you and give you wisdom for this situation.
Please take the time to read Jeremiah 32:16-17 YOU will find a promise there for every mother weeping for their children.
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Life with Hope is such a richer life. Teach him the works of Jesus.
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I am SO sorry yāall are going through this. I am praying for you all. Take him to the ER if you have to but get him help. For everybodyās sake. 
get him off the internet and start showing him the true beauty of life!!! adventure, fear, excitement, the feeling of accomplishment and competition
He needs antidepressants so he can think clearly.
For God sake if you are not a doctor then get him to one and a psychiatrist
Hope every thing turns out for the best.
Thats bipolar. Take him to psychiatrist immediately.
Also it would be really fucking awesome if everyone in this comment section would advocate for FREE AND AFFORDABLE MENTAL HEALTH CARE. Take the 5-10 minutes you took commenting here and call your representatives and see what they think about the idea. We have a mental health crisis in this country, and if nobody is ready to admit that our way of living is directly harmful to the human psyche, then maybe itās time we make access to mental health services readily available for everyone who needs them.
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You may need specialized therapyā¦ School counselors have a lot of kids to deal with and will not give your son the attention he needs. There are lots of teens who feel this wayā¦ The worst thing you can do is make home feel bad for having these feelingsā¦ We all have had moments where we have wanted to give up. Get him a real therapist and try to connect better with your childā¦ Learn his music and his choices of hobbiesā¦ Thatās what I did and my kids are making it through just fine. But you need to get him real help!
I went through the same thing with my son. From around age 13-to now unfortunately. He was diagnosed bi polar, ptsd, and manic depressive. He was and still is a self harmer. I canāt even count the times Iāve cleaned up blood out of my bathroom. He saw a therapist, and psychiatrist, for years. He said he heard voices, and saw people that werenāt there. At 18, he had himself committed to a psychiatric facility. That was one of the hardest days of my life. Watching my baby be put in the back of an ambulance, for a 3 hour trip to the hospital. He is almost 20 years old, and still uses cutting as a coping mechanism. Its very hard knowing that. And knowing there is nothing I can do foe him, other then be there foe him when he needs support. I did everything I could to make sure he was taken care of, therapy, medication, and so forth. Sometimes, you do it all, and the outcome is still horrible. Just be there when he is ready to confide in you. I know itās hard, and it sucks the mental and emotional health right out of you. Just stay strong for him, and pray for him. I feel for you in my soul. You and your family are in my thoughts. Sending lots of love and light your way, from Ohio.
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I was that 17-year-old, and the harshest reality we all face sometimes is this: you cannot help anyone who doesnāt want to help themselves. So, give your kid reasons to live. I do not suggest medication without a lot of time and discussion with medical professionals - medication often makes it worse when itās just thrown at the problem like a band aid. Listen to your sonās concerns - that actually is the reality a lot of us ākidsā see, and can you blame us? Look at the state of the world around him: I would be scared shitless, too.
My advice? Dialetical behavior therapy, solo and group. The group is important to help him feel heās not alone in feeling how he feels. Community building is important. It sounds like heās afraid and feels helpless about the future, and those are valid and scary emotions. Maybe do some family activities that involve helping your community? The reality is that the future IS scary, so we need to reach out to one another to help. I found a lot of hope in service and helping others, maybe he would, too? We have to be the future we want, even when the cards are stacked against us.
And instead of treating mental illness like a plague, maybe just treat it like any other illness? Make sure heās resting and eating well, make sure his basic needs are met, and be gentle when making sure they are.
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Since your 8-year-old, you and I imagine your husband are also affected you need to go to counseling as an entire family itās not just your 17-year-oldās problem anymore.
If he threatened to harm himself get him help asap. He needs some medication. Make sure he hasnāt tried drugs
While Iām sure lots of people have advise about how to help. I only have advice on what to look out for. Unfortunately for some, once they have decided to do it, have a plan and a time, they tend to look and act happy. They are releeaved that their suffering isnāt for much longer and a weight lifts of their shoulders.
While other often push people away, cut away emotional connections and get the people who love them to push them away. Itās makes them feel like they wonāt be missed as much if people are angry at them.
Also keep in mind a lot of anti depressant medication can actually increase suicidality before they start working.
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First of donāt bother with the school counseling,they are not qualified,and the school can make matters so much worse,spend time when you talk with him about the things heās good at,go to gp if youāre son will,Iām so sorry this is happening to you,itās extremely painful and real only ever seek professional qualified help,and never put too much pressure on him to do anything against his will,keep good friends and family around him,that heās happy around,best of luck xx
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Getting him to express his true feelings and root cause of his negative thoughts is great, but talking isnāt going to fix the issue. Counseling alone with NO changes to his environment or life will do nothing. He needs a change. Something and maybe several things arenāt working for him. He needs to experience life in a different way than he is. He is literally telling you that he doesnāt like the life heās living, he doesnāt like the path apparently carved out for himā¦ have you tried explaining and showing him that school,working for a CEO for 40 years and dying doesnāt have to be his life? Why does he think this HAS to be his life? You didnāt mention anything about reassuring him that life doesnāt have to be like that and you didnāt mention anything about asking him what he would like to do right now in his life that he isnāt doing? No hobbies? No interests? Shoving counselors in his face instead of you as a parent seems odd. Why would he talk to a stranger who canāt change his life, you have the power to homeschool him, to take him places, to show him the world and all the options, to find out his passions and support them 100%ā¦ does he feel heard by you at all or does he know youāll just push him on to another person or persons via multiple counseling sessions? The kid sounds like heās trying, but it seems that nothing changes really, so he gets down again, and mentioning it to you, seems like you run to someone else to āfixā him and not take care of your son yourselfā¦ idk, this is just odd to me. Heās screaming for change and you just arenāt listening!!
I was diagnosed bipolar depressed many years ago along with some other issues that rendered me perm. disabled. Looking back on my life we all realized I should have been diagnosed as a teen, I was just too afraid to let anyone know what was going on and how bad it was. I seriously suggest that if you canāt get him into private therapy, that you call the county mental health. Depending on your income will depend on if it is reduced or free for your family. I know not everyone wants meds, but sometimes you need it just to get balanced out. And to me he sounds like bipolar depression could be a real possibility. You guys will be in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope everything works out for the best.
Iām going through something similar with my daughter whose a freshman. Sheās been self harming here and there for a while and has been in counseling as well. Recently, she cut pretty deep and had a stomach ache. When I found the cuts, I searched her room again as checking her and her room are regular occurrences in my home. I found an empty pill bottle and had to admit her for attempted suicide. During the first couple weeks, itās only been a few, I struggled with hurt, exhaustion, frustration, and anger. I was a mess. Now, sheās inpatient where she goes to group therapy, animal therapy and individual therapy every day. I talk to her on the phone and I can hear her smile. Iām so broken she canāt be with me. Iām incomplete without her. I cryā¦a lot, but I know sheās getting better. I still struggle with guilt. Was it something I did? Is there anything I can do? Is it wrong for me to feel relieved I donāt have to lock everything up and can sleep at night? All I really know is that sheās somewhere safe and that I love her and that I will never stop. I wish you the best as you go through this. Stay strong. You got this.
Take him to a psychiatrist, he might need anti depressants. Medication helped my brother immensely, but remember itās trial and error and doesnāt work for everyone. Meds donāt work for me but intensive therapy does. Itās hard to hear, but unless he takes the steps he needs to in order to get better, nothing will work. Mental health is reliant on that sole person and how they handle it. If he doesnāt want treatment or to work on his depression, then sadly nothing will take. It took me to almost killing myself and seeing my mom lose it before I realized I canāt do that to everyone around me. Maybe schedule a family session with a good therapist, schools can normally refer you to some, and have a third party help mediate a discussion on what his options are and which route he wants to take. Also, if he believes everyone just goes to school, works, and does, maybe donāt have him attend college til heās ready, or do some community college as a liberal arts major so he can take a bunch of classes and find something he loves. Everyone gets better at their own time, I worked on myself starting at 16 and my brother just now started at 28-29. Donāt force him into anything, just gently nudge and remind him how much you love him. The sooner heās able to accept treatment and work on himself the quicker heāll feel better. With how intense his depression is, medication is probably gonna be the quickest and easiest route and give him a healthy enough mental space for him to really feel motivated to really work on himself.
Donāt stop talking to him,his brother did the right thing telling,what a burden to put on him,glad he shared,this might pass with just going for long walks and talking to him if not seek professional help,school counselors have a lot of kids to deal with just dont want yours to fall through the cracks.
My advice is to try changing up some routines, definitely have him continuously talk to someone even if itās not you, he needs to know heās believed and that he can trust someone, and maybe change up some of the things that are making him think that way? Do you vacation often? Or take him to do things that are outside of the mundane work, school, sleep schedule? And anytime he throws out little cues, listen. Read between the lines and believe him, always.
He needs a professional not a counselor. My high school counselor had me change my major from Art to College Prep because I wanted to take German and then he made me take French. I heard he shot himself the year after I graduated. You son is talking about it, the next step is him having a plan and knowing the methodā¦get him professional help NOW before it is too late.
Heās not wrong. The way that society has evolved there is nothing more to life than working so you have some place to live. I canāt image being in high school at this period in time. It feels like a hopeless era.
Ask him what changes would make him happy. Let him know you are on board to help him be happy. Make a day for just him. He may have anxiety and stress with school,friends, future and really needs a break. Take him on a two hour hike. Just you two or one friend of his choice.
There is an organization called Big Brothers there I believe youāll find somebody who will take the time to be his big brother and see whatās bothering him I would try that
Get him help NOW!!! From a mother whoās son committed suicide.
Thereās a place in Ohio called harbor that deals with people who are having problems in life i honestly recommend this place not sure if they are in other states though
sounds like manic-depressive behavior- get him to a DR ~
Go to a real councelorā¦not thru the school
Itās called depression. Take him to a doctor he needs depression medication.
I would take him to a very poor country let him live there for a while he might appreciate what he got here.
As a middle aged man that shares his same perspectiveā¦if he can only be shown and convinced that he has a purposeā¦itās not always about pills or a therapy group.
Let your kids royally f**k up as little kids and they donāt grow up afraid of life. This happens when you try to prepare the world for your kid instead of preparing your kid for the world. Now this kid is about to go to college and is expected to take care of himself. Heās probably never walked to school by himself before. Probably never let him ride his bike without a helmet and wrist guards but heās magically expected to become an adult overnightā¦
If you think he is going to hurt himself you can legally have him 302ād. They will physically take him to the psych ward (police). Since he is family and a minor. You can look up on internet for more accurate information. He will get treatment in the place.
Is He on Medication? It sound like He needs to be.
- Professional help
- Prayer
- Once heās stable, consider reaching out to a small business organization (like the sbdc) and find out if they have entrepreneur camps for kids. He doesnāt have to be a wage earner his whole life. There are options, but schools focus on jobs and not business opportunities.
I hope he is mad at his brother for telling you for many many many years.
Have him talk to a professional. I used to be like this and I so wish now that I had the resources back then
Introduce him to the gym
Thereās no preparation
He needs professional help.
Praying for you and your son
Yāall are so weak and your making your children even weaker.
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Because thatās all life isā¦ go to school, work a shit job and then die
Prayers for all of you.
Heās right. Humanity is fucked.
Hes reading too much facebook posts
Get him admitted somewhere fast