Probably needs depression medication
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He needs to go to the ER for an emergency psych evaluation. He is talking about self harm, he may be angry at you and his little brother but honestly too bad. Please get him the help he is crying out for NOW. 
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As a young adult, with mental health issues myselfā¦ Id say keep him busy. Take him somewhere he wants to go (that will make a happy experience), teach him new things, try talking to him about his dreams and goals. Ask him if wants to try or learn different things. Try getting him into a hobby. That and try getting him to have a routine, and add in something special. Maybe like he gets up eats breakfast, goes to school, does his school work, then go our for dinner. Come home do home work, take a shower and watch a movie then go to bed. Positive experiences help. Alot. Just support him the best way you know how. He will talk when he is ready. But do encourage therapy. He may not talk now or in a few weeks but when he is ready to reach out he will. You just have to be supportive but also give him space. When i was a teenager and felt pressured to talk, i shut down. Maybe he is doing the same?
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He does not have to live like āexpectedā. First, get him back in counseling. Then, have your 8yr old tell him why he told you. (Thatāll smack him in the face)
Then, start looking for ways to live and make money that involve what he likes. Small companies can offer experieneces that arenāt 9-5. Whatever it isā¦ Doesnāt matter if it sounds weird to you. If heās passionate about it, support him.
From experience, if someone really has decided to end their life, you wonāt know. Those who tell anyone, they want help.
Thereās also a depressive disorder where ppl want to end their pain. They donāt actually want to d*e. Sadly, it ends that way BC they canāt stop the pain any other way. Ask the therapist about that if it hasnāt been brought up.
One day at a time. 
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I would start with counseling and keep up with it. They are there to help. He may need medication. I would take with h about traveling a little and get him excited and something. Try do some school abroad when he is doing better so he has something to look forward too.
Is he on any meds. They made me act that way. I eventually tried and realized what I was doing. 10 days at a mental health facility, the found out why. I came close to dying.
Momma I went through this last year with my son. It was the hardest thing Iāve ever had to deal with. Heād cut himself and talk about suicide and wanting to die almost daily. I brought him to a psychologist but he only took meds for 3 daysā¦ it was all situational and when I dug out the find out what was eating at him which I somewhat knewā¦ of what he was going through. it didnāt change at first. Once the problems from the situation he was dealing with changed then he completely made a full recovery from the depression, self-harm, and suicidal ideation. I had to talk to him daily and listen to him until he finally opened up. It was so hard. I prayed so much and so hard for himā¦ I hope he gets better. Itās a miserable thing for him to feel this way, but first step is Iād bring him to see a psychiatrist or psychologist and proceed from there.
Try to sit down with him one on one - be calm with no over reactions to what he may or may not say let him know that no matter what he is going through that you are there for him and try to explain that when his 8 yr. old sibling told on him it wasnāt to get him into trouble but done out of love and fear of losing him and he is only 8 and that is a scary thing that children go through at that age not quite understanding the self harm and possibly losing a loved one that they look up to. Be his comfort zone with no judgement at all or threats just be there to try and understand. Maybe he has gone thru something that is traumatic for him that he is not ready to share with anyone but let him know that whatever it is you are there to support him no matter what with no judgement. If there has been a sudden change in his life that he wasnāt ready or prepared for he may be trying to deal with it the best way possible on his own. Just always let them know you are there always for them. God bless you all and may God guide you to the answers you all need at this time.
Donāt wait, get your son help now because suicide is real and itās horrible. You donāt want to lose your son to that.
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Social media causes most of this, is rampant in society right now!!
Hi former suicidal teen here. He doesnāt just need counseling and therapy alot of times that may make it worse. It made it worse for me. I needed to know my parents and family loved me. Try finding his love language and showing him love in his love language. Kids are humans to.
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He needs inpatient care. Reach out to his therapist tell them heās contaplating hurting himself. Get him immediate help.
What a hard spot to be inā¦wish I could hug you tight and say everything will be alright!
Iāve been in your shoes. Hindsight is 20/20 they say. Get him to a PROFESSIONAL NOW. I tried the working with it way with a regular doctor. Just to try and give the child a normal life. It didnāt end well. It will be hard to do, but best for the child and whole family. Little one did right by letting you know. The oldest needs help and doesnāt want to ask for it. You need to do what is best for them, they canāt make the choice with their mind in the place it is for them now. Iāll keep you in my prayers.
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Having him admitted while thatās still your rightā¦ for impatient stabilization they can diagnose him with whatever he may have and get him started on medication ā¦ the alternative is you may lose your son ā¦
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Do not take this lightly, my brother just committed suicide, we had no idea he was considering it. Take him to an er now please
Save your son, my mom wishes she could have.
Definitely coubs king, psychiatrist. If he is a minor speak to the doctor of your concerns about being suicidal
On going counseling and therapy may help him feel better and work through some of his feelingsā¦
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Calm down. This is the age when all these things manifest. You definitely need to act quickly but donāt despair. He will probably have to go on medication and more than just counseling, He will probably need a psychotherapy. Keep your eyes on him at all times for the time being and just remind him constantly about how much he is loved
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As someone who struggled like that as a teen: hes mad at his brother because he trusted his brother with serious information and his brother told you. Iām not saying he did wrong he shouldāve told you but thats most likely why heās mad at his brother. Its good heās in counseling but have they talked about meds? Or possible admission to a hospital for a few days to see if he needs meds? I felt the same way as a teenager so its important to show him thereās happiness outside of getting a job and working a lot. Maybe help him find hobbies or activities he can do with his friends or with you. To show him thereās more than working and death. Iād also bring up wanting to SH to his counselor in case he hasnāt or wonāt
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Does he participate in any extra curricular activities? Does he have friends? Is his dad in the picture? Senior year is stressful for them. He needs to be part of something that brings him joy. Fun maybe to let loose of only responsibilities. I pray 
always for my kids. All teenagers. Itās definitely a nerve wracking time.
Iām in the same boat right now with my 15 year old son. About two months ago I told myself Iāve had enough of the threats of him committing suicide or harming himself. I took him to the ER and they started him right away in a 4 week program. That program did wonders for him. I remember that night when he was being held, a mental health specialist came in and looked my son in the eye and told him that he needs to āstop holding his parents hostageā. (Whenever we didnāt let him get his way or upset him at any time he would threaten to do something) That right there made my son cry and apologize. He was diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
There is always going to be that fear in my mind that heās going to go back to that way of thinking. Please look into programs or just going to the hospital for help. He will most likely be very upset with you (mine was) but just know youāre doing the right thing.
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I pray that you find help for your son, my 18 year old grandsonās parents did everything they could to get him help but unfortunately it wasnāt enough and we lost him to suicide in 2019:(
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Not to many people will say this but, spend time with your son. Take him to Vegas or whatever he likes. Make a no cell pact, and enjoy each other. MAKE HIM SEE that Life is much bigger than what he think it is. Make him see that great big picture of real Life. People work to achieve Dreams. Dreams come true because people work on it, while enjoying Life. No tharapist will.make him believe. His Mother and father will.
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I can relate he needs inpatient care. Asap! You donāt want to call an ambulance bc you daughter was blue in the face bx she tried to hang herself in her closet.
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Sounds like he needs continuous help. Not just a few sessions here and their. Sadly his logic is not far from the truth. Welcome to mainstream lifeā¦
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I would definitely address his diet and physical health. The brain needs a healthy body. 70%+ of our serotonin is produced in the gut. I wish him well!
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Get him some ashwaganda and turmeric for anxiety and teach him about the possibilities for his future like being an entrepreneur and starting his own business, try and help expand his way of thinking and encourage him. Tell him his thoughts are like clouds and he has the choice of which ones to entertain, we can rewire and retrain our brains to think positively if put to practice, explain this to him.
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He may be manic bipolar. There are high ups and super low downs. Iād have him treated and diagnosed with the proper diagnosis so he can get meds to help.
God bless all of you. Prayers.
Praying for things to go well for all of you. God Bless and the best to you
Your son needs an actual psychologist, in a clinical setting. Not a school counselorā¦ A doctor. This is above parenting level, itās a clinical form of depression that can lead to suicidal ideation. Get him real, lasting help.
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Itās sounding a bit like some serious depression. These past two years have been extremely hard on kids, he might need some medication to go along with real therapy. In a clinical setting. Not school
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Been feeling that way since I was 11ā¦hasnāt stopped since, Iām 23 nowā¦
I want to thank you all for the advice and well wishes. A lot of good information in the comments. I called his counselor that night and the next day me, my husband and him sat down and listened, expressed concerns, feelings ect. The school has a licensed therapist we can go to and on base we can access the resources there as well. We plan on one on one, family and just him and his brother counseling. We also want to see if anything chemical is going on as well. We are loading all bases and see what one works for him. I submitted this so they could edit language as I was scared typing it(my grammatical errors ugh)and wanted to see what yāall had as advice. I did suffer depression before in life and am happily pill free now. I hope to get him to a point where he is secure in who he is and that he does indeed have value. I really do appreciate yāall taking the time to share with us and show new views/ideas at how to address this. This page is amazing! I would like to extend my love and gratitude to you allā¤
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Ask for 504 plan at the high school. Id push for itā¦ Its a safety plan. If when anxiety gets high, allows student to go somewhere safe (office) for few min. Theres more benefits to it as well.
From personal experience you need to get him help immediately. If he is talking about it and has had these issues for awhile a mental health evaluation is needed. Please. I almost lost my baby sister because of the same issues your having and my parents thinking they could help her.
I mean heās not wrong 
but I have manic bipolar so I definitely get like that
I agree with the above, but on a side note. Just let him know you love him, and itās okay to not be okay and that we canāt just stay there. Try to get him to talk a walk with you or something outside. Surprise him with some of his favorite snacks or candy or drinks. Just let him know heās not alone even if he tries to push you away.
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I donāt have any advice. Having an emergency counseling appointment is a great idea. Do you or your significant other complain about or dislike your jobs? Have you talked to him about what he wants to do in life? What his favorite subject or thing to do is? Does he like working with his hands? If he does, see if BOCES offers a night classes to see if he likes it. Not everyone has to go to college. I have my masters degree in education. The field closed up when I was looking for a job. The districts I subbed in didnāt want to hire me because I was too good of a sub. For those doubters, yes there is such a thing. They would call last minute and I would be there asap. I got discouraged when my provisional license expired. Iām now a stay at home mom, which was my dream when I was a kid. Talk to him about how for many jobs college isnāt necessary. If he works his tail off in any industry he could potentially own his own business. For this raising an eye brow and saying college is important, I donāt disagree but itās not the end all and he all. We will always need plumbers, auto shops, electricians, etc. A degree isnāt necessary to live a comfortable and happy life. My dad pushed me for college because it was his ideal, and my career choice required it. Talk to him about all this. Get to know him as an adult who can make his own decisions. He may feel the way he does because he canāt seen any alternative. He doesnāt have to go to college right away. He can explore different paths then decide.
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Take him to see his pcp so he can be referred out to see a specialist. We just with through something like this with my daughter. We got to see a counselor and she already seen her pcp. Between both of them and us we are working together to get her to that good place. Donāt give up
A psychiatrist and a support group for youth. He could find friends with the same problems and how they overcome those dark times. Forums on the internet for kids that deal with mental illnesses. Help him find something worth living for, a hobby or interest. Video games, art, a pet, anything. Support him unconditional no matter what. He needs you more then you know. My mom turned away from me in my darkest time as a teenager. She stuck me in therapy twice and then just pretended like everything was fine. Your family is in my thoughtsš¤
I def agree with seeing a psychiatrist and therapy. I also recommend inpatient if the suicide ideation worsens. But i think you bonding with him and and helping him discover his interests could help. I would suggest looking into programs that talk about college readiness or even trade schools or him finding his passion whether its in arts, film, or anything! Like what interests him? School isnāt always the answer. Encourage him to really find his interests. Have him see more of the world by traveling, volunteering, and dabbling in random activities. I remember I was in a similar situation and honestly what pulled me out was finding gratitude for everything i have. Volunteering did wonders as it made me realize I really dont have it that bad and that people need me.
Prayers for you and your family.
I too would find a psychiatrist for a more in depth diagnosis. Some have counselors who work with them to manage their patients.
All of your current approaches seem good. Iād also recommend some good old quality time with him?? Why donāt you try to help him start his own business?? I started doing this with my daughter and she got so excited. Something as simple as designing shirts or whatever his hobbies and likes are. That gives him another perspective that life can be what YOU make it. You donāt have to āgo work for a CEO.ā Sounds like an existential crisis. Heās hitting adulthood and hasnt figured out what he wants to do in life maybe?He may need to be reassured that thereās so much more to life than what heās used to seeing. Plus he can make money on top of it. Sending prayersš
Love him ,hang in there,and donāt give up on him,for we just lost my grandson from depression he was only 30 and left behind beautiful little boys 2 and 3 and all his family that loved him to the moon and back.We all tried to help him but it wasnāt enough so get him Some professignal help before it gets out of hand.Sending love and prayers for you and familyā:pray:
As A Rn and Licensed Behavior Analyst my professional opinion is there could be some chemical imbalances in the brain and he could suffer from a few different things such as bi polar disorder,depression,etc. First thing Iād get him into his PCP first and follow the chain through the PCP in order to get referrals that will be covered under your insurance. Also the PCP needs to always be involved. Once you get into a specialist let them see what they can come up with. Now going in Iād look for alternative measures to help him beside medicated right away. There are all kinds of different outlets for mood disorders other then meds. Now once you try some things first if they donāt seem to help or work then look into mood stabilizers. I always recommend for my patients (who are special needs terminally ill kids from toddler to 21) therapeutic approach first but if that does not work then yes introduce in some mood stabilizers. Mild ones to begin with because he may not need much at all. Also it would be beneficial to have a group therapy for the family as a whole to help you guys understand what it is heās dealing with. Your younger child did the right thing by making you aware and please reassure him that he did the right thing and that it will help his brother and protect him. So let him know itās always an open door policy in the home that you let each other know when another family member is hurting or struggling no secrets in the home and pretending like everything will just fix itself. I see that on the daily. Sounds to me though momma you are aware of what is going on and your not turning a cheek to it which is great.
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Let him know there are lots of adult children in his grade donāt know whatās next my child being one I just tell mine heāll think about it and figure it out thereās no real hurry he has many years to figure it out! My oldest daughter thought she wanted to be a business accountant studied for this got a couple of degrees found out she didnāt like it and went a different way no waisted time sheās young has many more years to try on something else in the mean time sheās learned something to help her do her taxes and is smarter than mom!! Tell him no stress heās too young to worry mom and dad have his back!!
Try looking into Bipolar disorderā¦definitely needs to be seen by somebody. Bipolar has very high ups and very low downs. It seems to be in my family alot. And reading your paragraph felt familiar to meā¦
The 17 year old?? ?? Is he on-line slot playing games? Or on social media too much ? They can b experiencing dissociation from what real to fantasy! There growth process can b affected on multiple levels a careful eye or parental control is very necessary in this day and age! My grandson!maybe it time to get some help!
Iāve never been a mother to a teenager BUT I was a teenager not too long ago actually and counseling helped me Iāve been going since I was 10 years old I had a negative view on life also and Iām at the hardest point in my life but Iāve got something to fight for now Iām creating my own little family now tell him his little brother needs him and that is why he told you what was going on. His little brother cares so much about him that he was afraid what might happen tell him that his little brother loves him so much that he told because he wanted to help his big brother find something to fight for assure him you are not mad at him and that you want to help find him things he loves to do life is a roller coaster you just gotta ride with it itās not always easy but you always have someone to ride with. Medications may help a bit also. me personally they didnāt help me they made me feel like a zombie I switched to marijuana and it helped mellow me out but instead of marijuana Iād recommend CBD oils etc. I currently am not able to smoke so Iām going insane due to being pregnant and working 8hr shifts but a job may also help your son to get him out and keep his mind busy you just gotta keep him busy not chore wise but like with activities or a job or anything he loves doing. sending love and prayers your way mommas youāre doing a good job asking for help
I suggest getting him a psychiatrist and a therapist as soon as possible. My daughter is 16 years old and she sees a therapist every other week.
Itās helping her a lot.
I would see a psychiatrist. Sounds to me like a mood issue at this point if itās constantly up and down
I have twin boys and both suffer from depression and one with suicidal ideation. I had to take them in to see a psychiatrist and a counselor. They would have huge fits of rage over small things, they talked about harming themselves and each other and they even stopped eating. It was a very very difficult time. They had to be put on meds and after months of medication and counseling theyāre finally in a decent spot. Not great but they are calmer, theyāre eating, working out and grades are better. You canāt do this alone momma. You need professional help. I was very hesitant putting them on meds but it has made a world of difference. Without the meds they wouldnāt open up to the counselor or anyone else. We found out through lots of talking that it stemmed from bullying in 8th grade. Just built up over the years. Lots of prayers, good luck.
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Sending prayers and support to make the hardest decisions you can face. I donāt know how but save your son however you can (as I guess you are doing already!). Iād look into inpatient care until everything can be sorted out, just to keep him safe. Good luck Momma!
they put my son on zoloft for these same problems and it has helped out a lot his problem was not sleeping and he is to take the meds before bed time and it really has helped all around
Itās when our children are the hardest to love that they need love most. I would spend extra time with him on a personal level, bond with him outside of the family dynamic. Our kids are going through a lot they live in a generation where social media plays a big role it influences there choices and decisions. Get right down to his level and ride this wave with him. My daughter is a senior this year and was freaking out a couple weeks ago about what happens after schools out, sheās involved in sports and has a full schedule but was worried once school was over she would be a nobody. Of course thatās not true. I Helped her change her perspective, Helped her see that we live in a world where we can become anyone with hard work and dedication. Good luck mama I know itās tough but donāt tackle it as a season tackle it one day at a time and when even thatās to much, just an hour at a time. Remember hard times donāt last.
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Consistent therapy and a actual psych evaluation is a good idea. Counselling does jack
Let him be mad. Youāre 8 year old did the right thing because he loves his brother. There are crisis centers you can always reach out to as well and I recommend doing that as a mental health professional. Get him help. Iād rather have an angry son than a dead son.
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Before you try drugs - look into diet ; I know it sounds weird but we truly are what we eat ; look into diet and supplements that help improve mood etc ; he might be having gut bacteria issues that has such a negative reaction on his hormones , triggering such a response from the brain
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Counseling is not enough. In my expert opinion as a Pediatrician, he needs to see a psychiatrist ASAP, to rule out any kind of mental illness, and probably hospitalization for observation due to the threat of self-harm.
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As an RN on an Acute Adolescent psychiatric unit and a mom of a child that had a serious suicide attempt,I highly recommend getting him evaluated ASAP for inpatient and to get started on meds!Donāt wait until itās too late!
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There is an app called calm urge that can be helpful. It has breathing exercises, a spot to journal and additional calming tools. I also recommend that he sees a counselor and for you to just be there for him. Sometimes people think they are a burden if they talk about their feelings. Maybe even encourage him to talk to his friends about it. They may be going through a similar situation or can relate in some way.
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When youāre 17 and depressed. Itās not only just you childās bones to carry. Something about the household and relationships there-in, is what contributes to depression. Plus the other stuff we canāt see between their friends and their milieu.
Donāt be so combative with how he feels or what he says. The facts that heās mad at an 8 year old for sharing something he asked to keep private, tells me he doesnāt feel that comfortable sharing w his parents. Which tells me some relationship building may be needed. That will be the first hurdle Iām telling you.
Next, try more empathy to understand why he feels unexcited about the prospect of working for the man. Some people donāt realize that until theyāre past their 30ās or 40ās working a career they hate. That idea is just as valid in a 17 year old than a 40 year old. Itās not a negative view, itās real. Some people are just not into going to school for 23 years and working 9-5. And letās not forget about the pressure school puts on 17/18 year old to make a career/college decision that could alter the course of their life.
I know youāre his parent but Iām hearing a lot of ā I, I, Iā. Be at a loss and keep trying hard. Until you understand your child more and deeply, you will continue to be at a lost. You couldnāt imagine what your child is going through. Which is why youāre here in the first place. Instead of trying to keep him surface level happy (which is why it only lasts 3 days & which is why you will almost always fail at keeping him happy because emotions and depression are not linear.) Instead try to understand more. Try to help him find new coping mechanism instead of arguing or shutting down. You and him may learn of new hobbies he loves together. Rather than resentment towards his parents for trying to fix instead of understand.
Good luck, & when In doubt try patience kindness and understanding. You will almost always find the answer.
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This sounds much like bipolar with depression (I work in the arena/with kids)
I would really implore you to get him more than counseling and take him to see a psychologist.
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I think if he had a job helping others then it would show him that a job isnāt always just a job and can be meaningful. It might be worth him having some experience working with others suffering with their mental health x
I am praying for your son and your family. So whatever it takes to help him, whether he want it or not. He needs a plan for mental health care and probably antidepressants.
Sounds like he really needs to be on antidepressants if he isnāt already. I know alot of parents are against medications but sometimes they are necessary.
Is he just doing counseling, or is he on medication as well? If only counseling it might be time to try medicine too. The brain is an organ like all the others. It might need some help to get the chemicals right.
Recommending religion and/or finding God is ridiculous in this situation and not helpful. If that is a path one chooses, then one must come to that decision on their own - for all anyone knows, this family could be deeply religious and that could even be behind his problems. This child, parent and family need professional help from an organisation with people trained to deal with those struggling with their mental health and who are self harming. The younger sibling did the right thing and was very brave to tell the parents - they all obviously love him very much and want to support him. Hopefully they can get the help they need soon.
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In addition to what others are saying, motivational speakers are so inspiring and positive.
They usually tell their unhappy stories and how things turn around in the end.
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Went through something similar. Councilors doctor and meds. Did this for a year and a half. I finally gave it to God. That is when things started to change for the better. Pray and let God take charge. You do what you need to medically and let God do the rest. Prayers going up.
Have you considered inpatient help? It can be scary and nerve wracking but with threats to self harm it needs to be very highly considered to help him when he doesnāt know how to help himself. Please consider it. They can help with talking and with getting him on a medication that could help.
Medications saved my life, if heās been struggling with this for years, meds could be a good thing for him to ask his therapist about
Welcome to my worldā¦at the very least get him counseling. Also, spend more time with him just doing whatever you can enjoy together. I find on car rides they are a captive audience and sometimes open up a bit more.
He may need some antidepressant to help at this timeā¦also, as much physical exercise as you can get him to do.
Its a scary time in a teens life and they need love and reassurance.
It sounds like your teen is experiencing some depression and anxiety, possibly related to trauma. You donāt have to commit him for urges to self harm, but you do have to address it. Your child is talking about this so thatās a start. You may likely need to get help beyond the school counselor. If heās been seeing someone for a year, and it isnāt helping, see someone else. I recommend EMDR for trauma. Hang in there, itās a tough road when your child is going through a horrible time.
May sound harsh but if it was my child I would get them committed for a 72 hour hold (if they have that where ever you are). Make sure to let them know this isnāt because they are in trouble but because they need help and you love them too much to not help them. This buys you some time to look into other options in your area and you know theyāre safe for the time being. Be as involved as you can while they are inpatient to let them know of you arenāt ādumpingā them on somebody else. Sorry youāre going through this but mental illness is no joke!
He sounds like he definitely needs professional help, though he has to want to seek it himself. Not sure how it works where you are, but in the UK anyone over 16 needs to refer themselves for the help as theyāre considered to be an adult, though the mental health services over here are completely on their knees! I hope he gets the help he needs
Sounds like the terrible routine of taking meds until they make you feel better then bc you feel better you quit taking them. It happens FREQUENTLY with mental illness. I know heās 17 and thinks heās grown but maybe you should keep an eye on the bottles and make sure the right amount is in it all month. Making sure that if itās one a day, one a day is missing. The struggle is real. Speaking from experience. Iām sorry that you as a parent feel that fear. God knows if I could go back and tell my mom how terrible I feel for making her have that fear I would in a heart beat. Counseling is also very good. Only if you have the right therapist. They arenāt a one size fits all. Make sure that heās comfortable with his.
Get him into the doctor and get him on antidepressants. Mental health is health and needs to be treated appropriately. He has a chemical imbalance.
My daughter was the same way. She is on meds now and is doing great most of the time. Please take him to the Doctor and see if he needs meds. They can help him with depression.
Not a parent, just a person with mental health struggles for a very long time. Id start by seeing what his eating habits are, see if thereās something there that can be fueling the sadness in his brain. If that doesnt help, then Iād try looking into medicines. If you want to find a psychiatrist I highly recommend doing lots of research. Several other kids and myself were caught under a psychiatrist who over medicated us and so our problems persisted and worsened. In my experience school counselors donāt care as interpersonally as a more private counselor.
I would definitely get him in for emergent counsel because of the risk of self-harm. He needs a diagnosis whether it be major depression, bipolar disorder, or something else. It is hard I am sure watching him go through this. Medications could do wonders. I would sit down with him and let him know his brother loves him and that is why he told you and that he should not be upset with him for that, that you are a family and you are there to support each other when it is needed. At that age he is struggling with life changes coming, definitely hard dealing with the changes from teenager to adult and how that changes everything but they need to see what opportunities also come with that and they have the ability to make their lives what they want them to be. I wish you luck and patience and pray your son will see the light and see there are more positives ahead than negatives and you as a family will be there always for him to help in any way you can.
Kid needs a break away from his every day cycle. I struggled with severe depression and anxiety when I was younger. My parents loaded me on meds. Ultimately, I had to learn ways to cope and deal with it as an adult. It may never go away. Offer yourself as a companion and open ear. I didnāt know what I needed from my parents at that time. Every child is different. I am sending you hope and luck.
Get him assessed by a psychologist but also show him what living is like. Too often we get caught up in the every day routine and forget to live a little. Take the family on a vacation even if itās just for the weekend. Vacations donāt have to be expensive to have fun. But maybe showing him that there is more than just work will help him. Get him out of the house/out of his own head.
I can tell you that probably 70% of kids feel this way and hide it from their parents,
I got out of school 6 years ago and I remember me and a lot of other kids shared this same mindset because sadly itās kind of the world we were forced into.
I completely understand where the kid is coming from.
If youāre not in the age group you probably wonāt quite understand.
Think about the last ten years, all the crap thatās been going on in the news and in our country, your kids see how you struggle with work and life and then start to realize thatās just what the future holds for them as well.
Iām sorry Iām not trying to be pessimistic or anything of the sort, but I feel this is a good opportunity to get this out so more parents realize and try to reach out to their kids about this.
These kids are smart they already know they wonāt be paid a living wage, they know about inflation, they know thereās a chance that we could work as hard as we could and still end up with nothing.
We as a country need to work on making things better for generations to come.
Again sorry, just ranting
(I donāt need redundant responses, obviously I know itās not impossible to be successfull, Iām a truck driver I take care of myself. What Iām trying to convey is these kids see they will have to live an unhappy work filled life in order to carry on living)
You shouldnāt have to sacrifice your happiness to support your life
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Definitely get him emergency care. Is he ok today? Keep a watchful eye.
I did learn the hard way if hes bipolar and drinks it makes it worse.
Show him you care.
Get him evaluated ASAP.
My 18 yr old granddaughter is going thru same. She is in counseling, been to inpatient (it was a joke). Not enough qualified people to counsel them. These lockdowns and no in school teaching is harming our kids more than anyone could imagine. It really is a nightmare.
Being a teenager is so, so hard. Have you had any recent changes in your family? Also where heās 17 he has been having to process the new life of this whole pandemic for the last year. We know how hard it is on us as adults, but teens and kids experience this very differently.
Best thing you can do is allow him to feel his feelings right now. Let him be angry and feel everything. Also be available to communicate with him but LISTEN. My dad never interrupted me when i was having a bad day and thatās all i ever wanted was someone who would just listen to me. Sometimes people arenāt looking for a solution, theyāre just looking to vent.
I also agree therapy is a great idea but approach it as a family event. Not just for him. It would also be good for you to have someone to talk to because this is a scary thing for you to go through as a parent as well. And they have incredible ideas to help, while also helping your son.
I have been trying to help my son for 27 years. Prayers for you both. Mental illness hurts us all.
Hit your knees plead the blood of Jesus over your son. I listen to my grandson say this about 15x not 2wks ago. As he sat on the floor, I got down on my knees, wrapped my arms around him and prayed aloud. The very next morningā¦ we received good news from his school, he was accepted into fight club for mentoring, he is see a counselor for emotional support. Tears of joy, I wept as I saw light come back into his eyes. Heās excited everyday to get up, go school, made news friends. In less 2wksā¦ heās like a different kid. We talk alot about Jesus, now. Heās learning how to trust him, turn his pain over too him and please him. He still express pain but no more harmful talk. I am so grateful for the love of Jesus!! Pray Momma Pray!! He is FAITHFUL!!
May need medical help.
Please reassure the 8yr old he did the right thing. Brother can get mad, cuz heās still alive!
He should be seen by a therapist and psychiatrist. If you live in the U.S. look up NAMI. They are a free organization that will be very helpful to you in support and different options in your area. My heart goes out to you and your son but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Maybe because your parents and your generation have completely fucked all younger generations in this bullshit system and heās actually woke enough to see it for what it is. Heās not wrong in his thinking, but Iām not agreeing he should harm himself.
He sounds like he needs long term therapy. Like a DBT program. Maybe a 3days a week program. DBT is really helpful with suicidal ideation and creating a life worth living.
So after recently going through this - we still areā¦ Turned out my son had started substance abuse - caught him out bang to rights with drug testing at homeā¦ We then had open and honest conversations about itā¦ I did not get angry told him I was disappointed and sad but not angry.
I caught him smoking twice more so then staged an intervention with his mates and told them whatās going on and they gave me thier word they would not smoke around him anymore and heās passed tests since.
Since then - heās been seeing a Councillor and I tried him on velarion root - Velarion didnāt help his mood so moved him to CBD and worked from the smallest dosage and worked it up in 2 week increments till we found what worked for him.
Heās now seeing a physiatrist and starting CBT next week.
With his school - I worked with his school to find his anxiety triggers thereā¦ There was one lesson causing him panic attacks and with supportting letters from verious services we now have that lesson removed from his time table.
His social anxieties stopped him going out so I made it easier for his friends to come here and let them stay over night to ensure he didnāt become a recluseā¦
Iāve looked at things and broken things down for himā¦ So when he didnāt know what would help I broke them down into little things and removed one at a time to make things easier for himā¦
He now has more better days than bad days. If he doesnāt want to be envolved thatās fine I just sit and watch a film with him in quiet so he knows Iām thereā¦ Life is very different to what it was 6 months ago (he was in crises then) and the knives are back in the cutlery drawā¦ Things arenāt perfect yet but each day is a win.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you both - with the right support it will.
If the poster wants to message me and Iām happy to go into more detail of what we went through and offer support to yoh as it is hard. Itās gut wretching and hart breakingā¦ Your son isnāt alone and neither are you
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Hmmm the word WE sounds as ur pushing him to where you want himā¦ not where HE wants to be himself. Let him live a lil. Have a close uncle or aunt talk with him. Easier than a parent sometimes. Might be tired of being put where YOU think he should be.
This might not be advise for everyone hereā¦
Find out if there is anything that interests him. When you do I would pause school for a year. Just one year because the pressure of school really does blind them to what the world is. The world is bigger than just school.
Let him develop a love for something else, take swimming/music/another language/ but the idea is he must be engaged! I think that can really help.
Then after that year he can go back to school and finish off his studies.
The traditional route of going through school at the same place as everyone really doesnāt sit well with other people.
Thats why some people take a break before starting Uni , take a break after working a few years just to change pace. It will do his mental health aload of good to ha e different paceā¦
Get him in individual therapy and if the therapist thinKs he needs medication, they should refer to a psychiatrist. For counseling, I prefer a psychologist. If you are a Christian family, look for Christian therapy. God Bless and hoping all works out for the best.