I am sorry for your pain. She is old enough to know. She needs to learn this lesson for herself. As parents we want to protect our kids but their lessons are theirs to learn. The best thing is to be supportive of her decision and welcome her with open arms when she comes back to you. She will realise that you are there for her and you support her no matter what. That will stand strong throughout her life, she will always remember this time when you were just there for her, when you supported her instead of telling her what to do, when you trusted her to make a decision on her own instead of judging her. She will be confident to go forward in life and make tough decisions, she will learn consequences of her decisions. Itâs a blessing in disguise.
She will be back. Let her go see for herself what she didnât miss out on.
You accept her choice and leave your door always open, the child support is between you and him , she has nothing to do with it ⌠if you want her to stay in touch donât play good parent bad parent ⌠she will learn
All you can do is support her, accept the choice she has chosen. She will see what living with her dad is all about and if she doesnât like it just let her know she is always welcome back in your home.
Let her live with her dad and see how it works out,she old enough decide who see wants to live with. She needs to see his faults for herself. She will be 18 with in a yr then she can Leave anyway. Have you tried sitting her down and discussing why she is not happy living with you. At Her you need to start having discussing with them like you would with adults. They are no longer children that needs 24 hr protection. Itâs time for her to see things for what they are.We used to rush on being all grown up because we didnât understand what grown up really was. Now we wish we were still kids.Sit down with her Boi father and her and discuss what needs to be done.
Unless he lets her run around willy-nilly let her be. If she is off the rails with him document everything you learn and take him to court to get her back.
You leave her be. Sheâs old enough to make her own choices. Let her decide herself if he should be in her life or not. If she wants to come home, let her. Until then, let her decide.
Love her unconditionally
Just keep loving them please. Teens are nuts. Let them try living at Dads, maybe they crave the independence and lack luster ways of their Dad or they need to know what the relationship is all about.
My daughter moved out at 16, if she wants to go, let her go. I live over 1000 miles away. I visit every few months. So is 20 now with a baby.
Sounds very similar to what I did to my mom when I was about 13 years old. My bio dad always knew how to contact my mom- he never did. Owed about 14K when I was that age. To top it off I resided in NC while he lived 14 hrs away, in WI.
He filled my head with all sorts of things and promises. I hurt my mom and I am ashamed of it. Because she was both a mom and dad to me for a very long time.
From personal experience, I suggest you let her learn from it. She will quickly realize that even though heâs her dad the reality of it is that heâs a complete stranger and she will miss home. Her true home.
Iâm more than positive that you might feel how my mom once felt. But youâll see that once she realizes what she did and returns home, this situation will only bring the both of you closer.
My mom became my best friend at the end and I love that woman to pieces. I now realize that she was the only one in my corner when I needed someone the most.
Donât let your hopes up. Sheâll go back to you⌠when sheâs ready⌠just takes a little faith.
You have to let them learn. He is not gonna want her there and that is a lesson no one can teach her. We hate to see our children hurt but sometimes itâs unavoidable⌠just let her know she can call or come home anytime and be supportive of her getting to know her dad. Then wait! She will be back.
Let her be she will come back on her own
Advocate for her always, give her grace and unconditionally love her . Send care packages if poss . Its temping to want to let her learn the hard way ( and I am sure she will) but have faith , hope for the best prepare for the worst. Seventeen is a hard age for parents and kids .
She is 17, pretty much an adult in some states, thereâs not much you can do if he takes her in. I would let her for the time being, she will realize that you were always there for her and the grass really isnât greener with her dad. Itâs a lesson she has to learn on her own as much as you want to protect her. Itâs a really hard spot to be in, Iâm sure.
I did the exact same thing right after I graduated high school. My bio dad wasnât in my life for over 10 years and one day he just showed back up. There is a ton of back story, but I just needed to feel that connection for some reason. I lasted 3 months before I realized I just really didnât want to be around him and asked to go âhomeââŚto my Mom. Now 30 years later I am glad I had that experienceâŚand to this day it is rare I talk to my bio dad. Keep your chin up. Love her, support her amd just be accessible of she needs you. Hugs!
Just be there for her when she finds out he wonât make her happy.
She will be back, let her try this. He will disappoint all on his own.
She is 17 let her see for her self âŚ
My 18 year old thought she was going to leave last weekend⌠Let her go. Tell her you love her. Let her know she can always come home. Just be open to talk to her, to listen. My daughter realized quickly that it wasnât what she expected and came home.
Sheâs old enough to know which parent she wants to live. If heâs a bad parent then she will come home soon but itâs up to her. Maybe she will see him another way than you do
Because sheâs at an age where she wants to do what she wants and Dads guna let her, why? hasnt been there for years so last thing heâs guna do is give her rules and boundaries and she knows it, shes being a fckn big talker and shes guna play the game right, because when dad finally says NO she guna use her Ace card im going back to mums Lol
Donât turn it into a fight. Let her know youâre there for her if she wants to talk and leave it be.
Support her and tell her you love her, let her have this time with her father she will be back just her do it in her time, yes it hurts but if you force her to choose between you both it wonât end the way you want
Let her find out on her own how much of a good life she will have. Let her be with her dad and see the truth for herself 
Unfortunately you have to let her find out on her own that he isnât a good person. Itâs heartbreaking for us moms but she is old enough to realize
Child support donât matter tbh. As for the rest, she will have to figure that out on her own. All you can do is be there for her if or when things go bad. Keep in contact with her as much as u can so u know sheâs safe but other than that let her be. Donât talk bad about her dad or tell her u think itâs a horrible idea a the time. Say your peace one time and let her learn. Who knows, it could turn out to be just fine. But either way you want her to feel like she has a choice in her life and you want her to see that you were there for her, supporting her through the entire thing no matter what she chose.
She will come back. My 17 year old son just ran away from me in Georgia to his bio dad in Oklahoma. I didnt even know where he was for 8 days. I think they (the kids) are just becoming their own person and they need to find out why these men abandoned them. I know it hurts but just hang in there. She will be back once she sees the truth for herself.
I was that kid. My dad is from over 1,200 miles from me and my mom so growing up I only saw him a few times when I was little. The money part of their relationship doesnât matter, at least they have a relationship. Kids donât remember money, they remember who was there. My dad begged me to move with him when I was 16 and up, and my mom always badmouthed him. 2 1/2 years ago I hit a bad time in my life and wanted and needed a fresh start so myself and my kids took the leap and moved away from everyone and everything we knew halfway across the country and it was the best decision. My dad is amazing and has helped so much and is always there for me. Now I am 1 semester away from graduating college to make a better future for myself and my kids because of all of the help and support from my dad and his family. I am very thankful I took this leap and got to know my other family and experience so many new things and grow within myself. Let her go and see how she likes it.
Unfortunately our attorney says you canât throw them out and you canât force them to stay. So thereâs no legal fight to be had. All you can do now is love her snd pray you taught her enough along the way. Our kids becoming responsible for their own choices is terrifying!
I know how hurt and betrayed you feel. But she needs to do this, or she will have abandonment issues, or daddy issues. He is a pos for not being in her life and supporting her more. But you have to let her discover this for herself. She is seeking any type of connection with him, and if he canât follow through on his end, she is going to be hurt all over again. But she needs to go through this to be stronger. And she may do great with counseling. But as her mother who HAS been there, through absolutely everything, you have to do the hardest part, and let her do this. Support her, or she will resent you later. And if it doesnât work out, you will be there for her too. Its so hard to watch our children make decisions that we know are wrong, but knowing that you are there, will help her come out of this a little stronger than before this journey. 12 hours is a long way, face time her, but try not to ask too many questions, it might put her on the defensive and you donât want to push her into staying with him just to prove you wrong. Good luck momma
When I was 14, I kept telling my mom I wanted to go live with my dad. He was also never there and never even tried to be. So, she let me. I was there 2 days before I was ready to go back home. Sheâll figure it out.
Back away and let her figure it outâŚshe will be back! Trust me
Yep. You have to let her see for herself ⌠she will be back
Hmm $15,000 in child support it have some fathers who owes more than that in child support.
The grass isnât always greener on the other side. 
she will figure it out.
Let her know youâre there for her to come back home but give her a chance to find out for herself while youâre not with him and why you feel the way you do
If sheâs happy, thatâs all that matters
If sheâs 17 thereâs not a lot to be done. Keep communication open and let her know your home is open for her if she wants to return.
Sheâll see by herself it wonât help
It will be ok. My daughter went to her dad when she was a teenager. (Same situation, except only six hours away) but she thought I was unreasonable, I wouldnât allow certain things.
She called within a few months, she wanted to come home. She told me later, he didnât care because there were no rules, he didnât care because there was never food, etc. They learn, sometimes the hard way. She will come home and she will appreciate how you have loved and raised her. Support her decision and support her for now.
There is nothing you can do. She will learn on her own if it was the right thing to do or not. At least you wonât be blamed for it. All you can do is be there for herâŚright or wrong.
As much as it hurts you got to let her find out on her own how he is because she will if she has never really been around him when she was little!! And it may not seem like it now but I am sure she appreciates all you have done for her , i have 3 kids they are 23,20,and 15 and their dad was never really in their life but my 20 year old decided last April to go live with his dad and stepmom I was hurt but he made it clear that he just wanted to get to Know him , just be there for her and still have your doors open because you never knowâŚ
Keep communicating. Leave your money issue aside. Encourage her to get to know him . You have a good foundation with her she will see what is what . If sheâs happy seeing him be happy for her itâs the best thing you can do sadly. Been there one of my sons commicates with his dad the other just will not entertain it . If I fell out with my son for having a relationship it would destroy ours . Stay strong and just worry about your bond and always have a home for her 
Be there and support her xxx grass is always green so they think she soon be home xxxx
I literally did this to my mom when I was 15. I was back home within 2 months because my dad was still not âdadâ.
You take a step back. As much as it hurts you and as much as you know itâs the wrong decision for her, you let her make the decision for herself, and when she realizes her mistake, you welcome her home with open arms. With that said, you also put your foot down and donât let her run back and forth. She has to know that she canât run to him when sheâs mad at you and vice versa. I attempted to do this when I was about 15. I didnât like the rules at home, so I said I was going to move in with my biological dad who wasnât involved and had nothing to do with me. I changed my mind in no time because I realized he didnât actually want me, he just wanted a way out of paying child support.
Iâm afraid of this. My daughter is only 7 now but if this day comes, Iâm gonna try to remember this thread and advice
Text her, call her, support her. She may not be back like everyone says. Donât get your hopes up. I know that sounds mean, but our 18 year old left mom for dad and has no intent to return.
They usually learn the hard way
Let her learn. Thatâs the only way. I did the exact same thing and was home within a month.
âShe went to live with her dad and he owes child support!â
are you mad at the money part?
You drag his name through the dirt yet she would still prefer to be with him. What does that tell ya?
My stepson did this when he turned 18,he was back in a months time!!!
Sheâs old enough to decide which parent she wants to live with so let her be and be supportive, you never know she may decide to come back on her own. Maybe she just wants to spend time with dad or talk to her and see if theirs issues with you that needs to be worked on.
I feel for you, but she is old enough to make this decision. Pray someday she will see the light and come home.
Sheâll see the light before you do⌠live & learn. Dads will never be home.
Take your time she will find out it is not what she thinks my son did that and was gone 3weeks
I did this at 15.moved in with my dad and step mom. Only lasted a month.
Sometimes the best way to learn the facts is to live them, so let her live them. Legally he hasnât custody so at anytime you can assert your rights if you must. He probably has another life with another family and soon sheâll return wanting mom and the life she knew and loved whether she realized it or not.
This is my absolute worst fear as a parent for my son. Did anything cause her to go be with him? Have you guys been arguing a lot? What would trigger her to up and leave like that?
Sheâll figure it out. Just be there when she does. Took me less then a year for my piece of shit sperm donor
Unfortunately youâre just gonna have to ride it out. Best thing you can do is just support whatever decision she makes. Be her rock. Could have been worse, she could have just ran away to nowhere you know of. At least you know where sheâs at. 
Whatever you do do not close the door on her return. Sheâs old enough to make this decision and it may be what she needs to get over the fantasy that her dad will be so much better. Let her know she can always come home
I did this when I was 15, moved out of my grandparents house with my mom. They talked badly about her my whole life. My dad wasnât in the picture much. But when I got in contact with her when I was 14/15 I decided I wanted to live with her despite only know what others had told me. She eventually ended up abandoning me along with various other things over some years that I kept her in my life. I said all that to say,sometimes kids just want to find out for themselves. But, looking back, I feel that all of the horrible things they told me about my mother (even though it was true) made me want to know for myself⌠so thatâs what I did. Didnât take long to realize that was a bad decision though.
Donât hold that decision against her for the rest of her life donât say âyou moved in with your dad so itâs not my issueâ ⌠be her parent regardless! Iâm currently dealing with a decision I made when I was 17 and itâs still held against meâŚ
Youâre dying inside because your daughter wants to be with her dad?? Are you made because he hasnât been there for her and she still chose him or are you mad because he hasnât paid you?? And if he owed you $15,000 in child support, heâd be in jail. Especially if itâs court ordered.
Let her go and be supportive. And when she comes back, bc she will, welcome her back with open arms and donât rub her âfailuresâ in her face. Sheâs still learning how to be an adult too.
She just wants to see what sheâs been missing. It doesnât mean you canât call her. You can still keep in touch.
Sheâs curious to know her father. All children go thru it. We all need to know where we came from. You raised herâŚsheâll be back. She loves you. Have faith. Pray about it. God bless. Sheâs in Godâs hands.
Itâs so horrible that she wants to see her father, who sheâs probably been alienated from for years? What he owes in child support means nothing. Your daughter deserves to know her father.
Obviously she wants to he away from you for a reason so just let her be
What he owes in child support has nothing to do with anything. Shes old enough to choose where she wants to be.
This is hard to say as a parent , and the worst fear. But let her stay , she will see if it helps her or doesnât give or take a month or so⌠but whatever you do DONT SHUT HER OUT, donât turn the opposite way just support her , be there for her. Sheâll still need you⌠sometimes these kidâs just want to get to know their other parentâs and she is well old enough to decided if she wants something to do with him or not and see how it goes. Iâm not no whereâs close yet but my 8 year old dad left her after 10 months of age. We tried , and tried , and tried⌠sheâs run up to him in walmart begging him to have something to do with her , she has a brother and sister with him and his gf as well. He turned his head to her and said ok. Iâve begged this man to be in her life⌠but my so has been raising her since she was 10 months old , although we split for 8 monthâs she never once disclaimed him as her daddy. She knowâs his isnât her bio dad , but grew up calling him daddy. Me and my so has even went and picked her bio dad up to see her before he meet his gf and decided to walk out of her life because he let her choose for him⌠he doesnât count her as his child. I still hold onto every memory I have of them when she was a baby for her keepsake, those are hers they arenât mine⌠then this is a little different but i have 2 girls who Iâve raised for 8 yearâs 15&14 , they have issues with their mom because of the way she has done them. We have custody of them two, she has acted like they dont exist and choose the other 3 kids over them two , and as well as her ex boyfriend who she was with for 3 years and always believed him and never them⌠she just left him , and is already moved another guy into her house she doesnât know. My kidâs havenât seen their mom in 8 months besides 3 times due to her coming up with excuses⌠when she left her ex she said she realized how they dont want nothing to do with her because of him, and expects them to just jump back in and love her new bf like she does. Mind you she hasnât known him long 4 months⌠kids already caught her in a lie a few times since. When her and her ex was together and me and my so was split her ex busted my so window out in the car with the kids up in it and told her they was in her vehicle. Still to this day she still believes him, and there is proof where my child had glass cuts all over her and in her hair cause she was upfront. Dont be that kind of mom!!!
I know itâs hard but she needs to see for herself. Hang in there and give her some space. She will be back.
Everyone has told you excellent advice! Call her every other day or send a text. I personally wouldnât do it every day because she may feel smothered. Tell her she is always welcomed back and make sure you tell her you love her and that youâre proud of her! Have you discussed this with her father and know he is really ok with it and up to it? If he is just doing because he feels he has to and not because he wants her to, then it might not be very enjoyable for her and she may be back soon!
What a bunch of judgmental assholes on here!!! âOh she mustâve left for a reasonâ âwhy are you mad she wants to be with her dadâ. Sheâs a freaking teenage girl!!! I have two teen girls and it would definitely hurt my feelings if they wanted to move in with their dad whoâs been nothing but a pos to me and them. The womanâs just looking for a little advice or reassurance! I agree with other comments just let her know your door is always open to her and communicate with her.
Let her figure it out.
Sheâll be back so fast ,You wonât have time to clean Her room !
Sometimes they need to see the grass isnât always greener. Iâm sorry youâre going through this.
Let her figure it out. If heâs good to her and steps up then amazing. If not sheâll quickly learn and form her own opinion.
I did this when I was a kid.
She will come home Mama.
Youâve been her safe place this entire time. She will come home.
Even though I left & I was seeming âtoughâ & like I wanted to go, I cried every night.
Nobody replaces your mom. Just know that. She will come home to you. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but she will. Give her time to see the grass isnât greener on the other side.
Send her positive quotes and tell her you still love her. Ask about school and if she is in sports as about them and show interest from afar. If anything try to show up at her event and surprise her. Showing you support her will help both of you!
Sometimes kids have to learn the hard way. My kid did the same. It lasted about 2 months until he realized the grass wasnât always greener. His dad promised him everything under the sun but once he was there he couldnât even take a shower without being lectured on how much money it was costing.
Just wait patiently, sheâll be back.
DO NOT KEEP YOUR DAUGHTER FROM HER DAD.
She probably wants a relationship with him.
Child support literally should never come between a relationship with a child and a parent. Itâs not here to âbuyâ the child and any form of relationship they build with the parent. Its there to help support them.
Now, idk the back story behind everything, but she is 17 years old. She practically an adult who can make her own decisions now. Sheâs not 6.
Its time that she needs to make her own life choices and learn from them rather bad or good. And you should just be there to try and help guide her along the way. Regardless of which direction she decides to take. She will learn.
Let her go mama. Iâve never kept my kids from their dads, and now almost 11, my daughter is absolutely disgusted in hers! And it didnât take an ounce of convincing. I think the human part of us wants to believe the grass is greener on the other side. She needs to experience this herself, and you just hold tight. Sheâll be home!
I did the same thing after high school. It was fun for a few weeks. But then he went back to his typical habits. Ended up only living there 3ish months, and my mother welcomed me back with wide open loving arms. She just needs to realize herself that itâs not going to make a difference. Just support her and her decision and when it turns south, donât be snarky or âI told you soâ just welcome her back with open loving arms and let it be an experience. You can always try to convince someone the situation is no good for them. But until they realize it themselves all you can do is love her and remind her if it isnât what she wants, she can always come home!
Just be there for her as much as she will let you and it might just have to be a lesson she learns the hard way. Continue being the best parent that you clearly always have been for her and she will come to her senses
In my experience, experience is the best teacher. If their dad is a piece of shit, that will show itself soon enough and it wonât be your fault. Itâll be a hard lesson learned for them. However, on the off chance dad is in a better place now as a person if not financially, your kid gains a valuable relationship. Just keep the lines of communication open and be there when the chips fall wherever they fall.
Hugs mama!! I know your heart aches but sometimes you have to let them learn own their own. I have a hard time with this except mine is financially, if they get in trouble Iâll break myself to help them.
Itâs difficult as youâve done everything in your power, as hard as this is, she must learn for herself, as long as she is safe and there is no safe guarding issues if sheâs happy thatâs the main thing
Honestly you canât really do anything. And if she stays the child support
Will be reversed each month sheâs within if he takes you to court. Sheâs also 17 so thereâs nothing you can really do.
Been there. Just let her know she can come home whenever as thereâs nothing else you can do andnit sucks on the other hand of you fight it. It could work with it worse and your the only one stressed out. Hugs. It
Sucks.
I thought about doing this but my momma was right about my dad. Found out for myself. As will your daughter (find out for herself) and someday might find out what itâs like to be you right now. Advice to give you is to be calm and invite her back when she decides. Your support and secure (safe place) is all we can do as parents for our babies.
Let her go just her support and be there for her . She will eventually see what she needs to and stay or come home again . Hang in there. Itâs okay to be upset and confused about what she is s doing . They come home again. Itâs the age she is at her brain and body are also confused and she needs to work through it
The only thing you can do is let her know you will be there when she wants to come back and trust me. She will come back. I did the same when I was younger. I was raised by my grandmother. I tried my momâs and my dadâs and neither was what I thought it would be.
How long has she been with him? If it hasnât been long just wait it out. Once she sees it isnât the dream.world she hoped she will come back. Just let her know sheâs always welcome to return
Itâs her dad regardless of back child support owed that doesnât mean he canât be a father to his child. Let her see who he is as a father. She may think sheâs going to be spoiled and a Princess with her father. At first it maybe nice then when dad has to enforce rules, it could change her world. They deserve a chance to bond regardless of what the past was. As long as he isnât a rapist or living criminal lifestyle, let her go there. Honey from 13 to 17 these children boys and girls smell their back sides and become chaos for no reason. Take this time as a break. Let him worry like crazy. But open up communication with her father so coparenting can try to go smoothly. You donât want to be the enemy with dad. Just polite long as itâs not abusive or dangerous.
Let her learn and experience it. She will be back eventually. Pray for her safety! 
Sheâs 17, nothing much she can do. The girl needs to find out on her own. Be supportive. Remember the old saying if you love them let them go and if itâs meant to be theyâll return.
Just because someone donât pay child support does NOT mean they are a bad parent⌠are you upset with her or him⌠if keeping child away from parent because of money then your child has every right