The grass is always greener. She’s old enough, as long as she’s safe let her do what she thinks she needs to. If you try to stop her she will only resent you.
Sometimes you have to let them go and try these things for themselves.
Just let her know you love her and the door is always open if she needs to come home to you and she can call you when ever! You support her.
My suggestion… support her. Don’t try protect her, let her see things for herself. Maybe, he will give her what she’s looking for. Maybe he won’t. But either way, let her experience it and learn and be there for her along the way.
She will be back I can almost promise you that. If you dont let her see for herself, you could lose her forever. Be there for her, if shes upset, dont badmouth the dad, just listen.
Tell her you support her decision and will be here for her no matter what ava that she can always come home if she needs to be. Even if you don’t agree if you show her that you are allowing her to make this decision on her own she won’t want to just leave
When I was 13 I went and lived with my bio dad. He’d been absent from our lives for many years and was in and out of prison until then. My mom allowed it, she allowed me to make my own judgment about him after years of telling me that it wasn’t going to turn out how I wanted it to. She was right. Now, I don’t have a relationship with him. He put me through a lot living with him and I’m so glad I experienced it for myself so I know what I don’t want for myself and how I want to do better than him when it comes to parenting my own children.
Let her learn the hard way. I ran away when I was 17 to be with an older boyfriend, and it wasn’t long till I went crying home to my Mama. Just love her and support her from a distance unless you feel like she’s in danger.
So I was her. My mother was strict. I ran to dad’s who had no rules, wasn’t much of a dad. I learned real quick. Didn’t question my mother about it again.
She will be back! She will get there and could find that she doesn’t have the relationship with her father they way she thinks. She could also see that the grass is not greener on the other side of the fence. She has to see for herself! Even though you know how the father is don’t degrade the father to the daughter. Be there for her and answer her questions if she has any! The daughter needs both parents in their lives but she will find out for herself if he a father figure or not. I know it breaks your heart but just pray! I have been in same situation with my daughter. She was 13 at time, he took me to court for custody, child support and I was against it and I was trying to bring up things in court that happened between him and I but the judge would not listen cause it had been some time ago. The daughter had to go to counseling because I and her father fought so much DEGRADED each other, verbally cursing each other! The judge stated she was 13 years old and she was old enough to make choice who she wanted to live with. Well she chose her father and he was promising her all kinds of stuff. It was ok at first when she went to live with him but after a while things started changing and she recognized that the grass was not greener on the other side, he did not get the stuff he was promising her. I had to go back through the courts again for child support/custody because she wanted to come back to me. I just kept like a diary of notes, money I spent. I didn’t disclose the details of the diary until I went back to court. My daughter today is 36 years old and she does not have anything to do with her father. She does communication with her step brothers and sister. He has 3 other children and my daughter is the baby but he has no communication with his other children as well. My daughter lived with her father 8 months after we went through the process of going through the court for the legal changes in her custody and child support matters!
You have to let them see on their own…
Don’t speak badly about the other parent.
Be there for her as always and listen.
But?
At 17 she’s considered a adult and to make her own decisions in the eye of the law.
Let her go and see for herself why you kept away from him… that’s the only way they learn I guess .I’m sorry but hugs
I see all these comments here but I’d like to play devils advocate. How do we know that mom has not KEPT the child from him? How do we know if he tried to have a relationship with the child and mom blocked it. How do ewe know if Dad didn’t leave the area because mom refused him parenting time? I know a woman who gave birth to the child and never told the father. He never even knew he had a kid. The daughter was pissed and found her father and they had a great relationship. I know another mother who chased off TWO dads. When the children grew older they connected with the dads and have nothing to do with the mother because of the crap she pulled. If this father is an ass, she will see he’s an ass but let’s not be so quick to judge. The mothers in both cases I mentioned made themselves out to look like saints when in all reality they were the problem.
My son did this & I was devastated. Everyone told me he’d be back but it hurt so much. He was begging to come back after less than a week.
If she wants to be with her dad, let her be. And 15k behind in child support is nothing. If he’s never had anything to do with her, and didn’t get visitations he shouldn’t be paying support anyways.
Just let her know she can come back and you like be her. She will she for herself where she belongs
Let her find out for herself what hes like. At age 17 it wont be long before shes 18 and then youll loose all control over her, including her mistakes. Just dont let her come back home to tell you that you owe her. My Daughter pretty much ran off and got married at 17. But prior to this she wasnt exactly easy to get along with… so i backed off cuz otherwise if i had forced her to come home she would had just ran away at age 18… and i wouldnt had the option of a relationship now.
So your situation could be worse at least yours, shes only took off to explore her biological father… what do you know about him now??
I didn’t know my bio dad until i was 15 or 16 and I craved a relationship with him … I had been told how terrible he was by my whole family my entire childhood but still wanted to know him. Come to find out he isnt all that bad. They were young and married too fast sure he has made some bad decisions but who hasn’t tbh. I left home at 15 due to a very abusive step dad and never looked back. My bio dad has been in my life ever since … Not so much as a father but as a very good friend and someone that i can rely on whenever I need him, no questions asked. In my opinion id say let her decide on what kind of person he is. The more you deny her that relationship the more appealing it’ll be, I’m speaking from experience. Im not 31 and don’t know what I’d do without him and I know he counts on me too. He just had a surprise baby and I’ve been there to help guide him into parenthood again seeing how it’s been a few decades since he’s had a child. Let her know she is always welcome back home and that you love her very much and will always be there for her tho. 17 is such a young formative age and she needs all the guidance she can get right now. While you might not love her decisions she might need to find out for herself what she wants in life. Try and keep open and honest communication with her too. I could never count on my mother and havent talked to her in over 3 years and that was the best decision I ever made. She is such a toxic narcissist. Im 6months pregnant and she has tried to weasel her way back into my life but I know where that leads and I refuse to let that happen. Her intentions are never pure or propelled by love and compassion there is always an alternative motive with her. Try not to ever ruin your relationship with your daughter over relationships she wants to have with her other parent because let be honest … You had a relationship with this man and she wants to see what hes all about and in my opinion she has every right to know who her father is.
Questions!?!?! 1. Is she simply running away to rebel against rules or is there another reason? 2. Is the environment she is running to a safe environment? 3.what is her reasoning behind running away? Let’s start with these first.
You just have to let her be.
Get therapy for yourself to help you through it. But otherwise, let her be. Be open to communication if she contacts you. Give her space if she needs it.
Call her or text daily. Let her know your there for her and always will be no matter what. Shes 17 shes still a child. And she’s still your baby that you promised you’d always be there for. She trying out adulthood a bit early 
keep your head up
Let her find out. Period. And let her go. It is her dad and she’s almost an adult.
Sometimes we have to learn for ourselves
Give her space and support. She’ll be back.
I’m sure it’s hard. But I’m sure he will show his real side and she will see. She’ll be back
Take this time to rest and build up your strength for when she does come back.
Most lessons in life, are learned the hard way
Let her see the grass isn’t always green on the other side of the fence
She will come home. Just love her through this.
Call on her regularly. At least twice a week; one being the same day and time every week, and one being random. So that way she knows she can count on the set call, but also that it’s not routine or habit, and that you call when you’re thinking about her. Send her texts with random facts or silly jokes. Things you’d share with her in person if she was there. Constantly remind her that your heart, your arms and your door is and always will be open to her.
As long as she’s not in danger, let it ride out
Child support had nothing to do with this. Sorry.
I’m sorry for your pain 
Its just one of those things kids go through. There were a few times I was determined to live with my dad because I knew I could get away with more stuff there. Let her come to her own realization.
She’s gotta see for herself. It’s gonna be painful as hell to her and seeing her in pain is gonna break your heart but let her learn the hard way. I was this girl as well. I regret my decision but I learned from it and I’m now a lot stronger. Just be there and love her because she will come back. Promise. 
You have to let them go and see for themselves. Unless it is going to be a safety issue. Just keep the lines of communication open, let them know you love them and will always be here for them.
Be there for her. Meanwhile, get on with your life. As hard as it is, enjoy this time. Do some things for you. Go have fun. She’ll come around when she sees him fit what he really is. Hopefully he will have some rules and requirements (as all parents should). Chin up.
Let her see the other side… I was in that position my grandmother’s sister raised me I saw the other side it was horrible a real life lesson
Let her see what its like. Always welcome her home.
She’ll see the real him and come home.
Give it 6 weeks. She will be back.
She will come back. I went through this with my sons. He spent just the summer with his dad and wanted to come back before it was over. My stepson wanted to be with his mom. Well she is a terrible person and he said he hates her. He lives with us now. A neighbor told me her daughter came back from living with her dad.
I even come from a blended family and went to my dad’s looking for answers. He turned me away.
These are things kids need to learn on their own
Let her see for herself
Kids legally can chose at 13. She’s 17. I was her once. It’s a mindset and agenda. Let her do her thing. Just support her. Be in her corner. She needs to see for herself. As long as her.safety isn’t in question. Just hold on momma. I have 5 kids and my oldest is 14 and going through similar. It breaks my heart knowing her pain as I was once in that stage. Pray!!
You let her be there. She might like it in the beginning but as the saying goes: The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. She will eventually realize that when she sees her father falling short of the care and support that she got from you. I know it hurts but at 17 she’s raging with hormones and she’s rebelling. Just continue to be there for her, but let her come to you. Don’t force yourself on her unless of course she’s in danger. Sending love and strength your way. I was a pita when I was 17 lol. She’ll come around again eventually.
Start by literally supporting the her decision and say she had chosen to move into her bio dad’s instead of saying she ran away. That infantizing her very grown up decision, to which there may be some grown up consequences. It could also be great for her. Maybe they can build the relationship she is seeking
You only stated how he owes 15000 in back support. And that doesn’t mean crap to base off the kind of father he is. Child support system is a joke and meant to profit. Theres two sides to every story on that part.
She needs to make her choice on her own and see the kind of person her dad is. Her relationship with her dad is not going to be the relationship you had with her dad. But if he’s truly a scum bag she will see for herself. She needs to make the choice for herself. Just be there for her after and don’t say “i told you so.” It will make it worse for her in her mind.
I hope this may help. Wrap your head around the lessons she’ll learn by spending time with her mother. Your child is now old enough to be discerning on matter’s. Likely she will find differences between you and her other parent over this time and agree or disagree as she did with you. She now is an independent thinker, let her test her own knowledge about life choices. Be gracious about it. Let it happen. Be supportive without being condescending on anything she my talk about from the experience. For sure there will be differences between the to home situations that will arise. Be gentle with your child, help her discover how plays into her life down the road on choices when relationships are formed and committed to and how your supposed to make them work or break them. This is most definitely something everyone is in life for. We are only peers to each other, independent to choose. Being smart about it a challenge. Getting right is not a given in the world. Balance and fairness with respect is a must. Your ex will mess up at times and show her hand and intentions. Trust your child to pick up on it. Don’t bash the ex. Human nature and instincts will kick in with your child. Remember your child is not you or your ex. But herself. Allowing your child to act in her own will teach her much about who she is vs what she has been taught and help prepare her for the battleground of life at this time. Water down your feelings of concerns about it. Your still in her corner for the rest of your life to help if there is any issues. You will have opportunities and time to do for in her best interests. Keep yourself approachable on all topics from here on out. Be honest but not condescending.
Be accountable if she asks personal questions about your part in anything. This will be good for her to see. Now is the time you will earn her respect. It’s not given to you as a parent from her. As it is earned and no other way will it be given or kept in place if your not honest and respectful. She now with independence will become a peer too. To you and her other parent, she is transforming into who she will be in the world. Space to test the waters is now for her. Like it was and is for all of us.
I’m 63, have children, +13 grandchildren,
It will get rough at times with growing children guaranteed. Prepare yourself for a person that is not much like you or how she was raised. This IS your childs life to live not yours.
Why is child support even being mentioned lol if she wants to know her dad just let it happen.
File a missing persons report?
Natural consequences.
As someone who’s been in this scenario, no one will change her mind. She wants to know her dad and find out for herself who he really is, she’ll come back eventually. 
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Sounds like he’s not a real man or father if he owes that much. She’s old enough to learn the truth about her dad, he will show his true colors, the deadbeats always do.
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Keep communication open, dont down the move, remind her how much you love her. That is pretty much it. If he is bad she will realise it soon and will need your love and support but if she feels all you are going to do is say told you so she might stay there
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Probably something she wants to figure out for herself. Its hard to know a parent was not there when they should have been and then to get the opportunity to have then in your life is a big deal especially to a emotional 17 year old. Let her go, let her see who he is and what he is like but be sure to let her know she can always come back.
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They are indeed rebellious years. And resistance leads to persistence on her part. From your part perhaps a need to control out of a desire to protect and keep safe, and from hers a need for variety and excitement. Also she’s figuring out who she is as a person as a whole. I seen this happen with my brother who went to meet our biological father years ago and how much it upset my Mam and her partner, who was a father figure to us both from day dot. His disappointment in turn led me not to seek him out. I did however contact him last year after the breakdown of my own relationship saw me raising my daughter alone. If only to communicate feelings of disappointment that had come up for me in the present moment. Two of the greatest gifts we can give our children are indeed Wings to fly and roots to return
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Just support her and be there for her when she sees things as they really are. I’d also do your best, no matter how hard it is, to be neutral and try not to be negative on her dad. It may make it hard for her to come home. Sending my love.
Let her figure it out. I was her for 25 years and the term daddy issues was huge for me. Whether my dad was a good man now or not I needed that part of closure in my life. Child support is not her concern. I’m sure she just has many questions and wants to know who he is now and honestly she has that right. I know it hurt my mom but it also was hurting me. I resented my mom for not even telling me his name to give any opportunity. Understand where she is coming from and be there for her. She has a right.
Let her live some life lessons. Maybe it’s a good thing. Maybe it’s not. She’s old enough to be able to tell you if she wants to come back if it’s not what she thought it was.
Accept her choice, call or text her everyday even if its just to say i love you. If you wanna help her out you can mail her things like shampoo, pads, body wash, candy maybe an activity she likes or a movie. Every other weekend maybe invite her over for dinner and a movie.
I think you need to let her try it. She will more than likely be very disappointed in him and be back home with you soon! Stay strong Mama
Just let her go she’ll see she made a mistake and come back teenagers do stupid thing I had five and they think there grown at that age prayers to you
She will have to learn the hard way. She will come back. Prayers
All you can do is be there for her when she is ready to come home, I’ve been through this as well with my boys(21&16) different dads, I raised them practically by myself, it’s hard letting go, I understand how they feel as I didn’t grow up with my dad either, just know that she’s gonna come back home that got me through it, both my boys are home now so it’s gonna work out, stay strong you got this:blue_heart:
Its going to be ok, Mama. Shes going to come back, and she loves you. Call her on the phone and just be there to listen. Give her some space and time; even though I know its excruciating to bear. I’m sending you hugs and love, from a mama whose been there. 
I Ranaway when I was 16, connected to my loser dad. I’m 21 now and I had to realize for myself what an idiot he was. My mum is my best friend now.
My 25 year old son moved 3,000 miles away in early July and I’m dying inside. Yeah- some moms feel that way! My son didn’t run away nor did he go to his bio dad’s (because that man was abusive in a BAD WAY with my son and his 2 older sisters and my kids haven’t seen or heard from him in 22 years) but it’s NOT easy to raise a child and watch him leave (even for the best of reasons) so give me a break with the judgment!
And my ex stopped paying child support about 20 years ago - DESPITE THE FACT THAT HE WAS STILL COURT ORDERED TO CONTINUE TO DO SO). He owes me WELL OVER $50,000 and he’s not in jail. He’s not even in jail for what he did to my kids! The system doesn’t always work. Hell, they can’t keep violent offenders locked up anymore- you really think they are putting away deadbeat parents??
I am so grateful for my kids that they grew up the way they did. My son knows how hard it is for me missing him so he makes the time to be in touch every day- even if it’s only a text. We have fallen into a nightly routine where we send a “good night message” and acknowledge how blessed we are to have a supportive family. But I cried for 3 days straight when he left and it still hits me pretty regularly. I can’t imagine thinking about how my daughter would be navigating her senior year in high school with all that goes with it and I am not there to go shopping for a prom dress, graduation activities, etc. 12 hours a way makes it tough.
As far as the OP- I don’t read the comment about the lack of child support as anything more than “evidence” of how little he did for his daughter so far and I would definitely be concerned about my kid going to live with someone who couldn’t even do what was legally required of him for a lot of her life. The daughter is probably thinking about finishing school, maybe college, whatever and wants to know what she’s missed. Maybe she has that nagging feeling (my kids did) that maybe it was HER who caused dad to do or not do what he did. At 17 mom has to be able to trust that she’s raised her daughter well, that she knows the door at home is always open and mom will always be a safe place to land. It is NOT easy! Daughter WILL figure it out. At 17 kids are remarkably perceptive. If dad doesn’t really want her there or is “absent” daughter will figure it out. And mom just needs to be there- no questions asked, no “I told you so’s”, no badmouthing dad. But it’s hard when kids go. It’s even harder when they go so far away. Keep in touch with her. Develop a “system”… check in texts, phone calls every few days. Tell her you miss her but want her to be happy. Tell her you love her. One way or another, she’ll be back because you have been her HOME for her entire life!