I’ve been with my man for 13 years and I’m just not in love with him anymore. What do I do? How do I tell him??
Help a mama out and respond anonymously on our forum. How do I tell my husband I don't love him?
Go to counseling. People are so quick to leave the first moment there is hardship.
Love is a commitment not always a feeling.
Be honest, it might hurt him, but it’s better than stringing him along. Good luck!!
Have you tried love languages? Maybe its not you don’t love him. Maybe its you don’t feel love from him.
You’re an adult this is something you need to sit down with him & explain yourself and your feelings.
Great book I would suggest.
Love is a choice not a feeling
Figure out if you really are first, and why? Is it him ? Is it you? When you can answer those questions then you’ll have to sit down and talk to him. It’s hard but who knows maybe he feels the same and doesn’t know how to say it , hope you guys get a mutual outcome
Tell him and dump him
Relationships go stale. Try spicing it up. Book night in an exotic theme room or something. People give up so easily now a days. The grass isn’t always greener.
You don’t. Love is a choice. You make a choice, every day, to love someone. To do loving things for them, to see them in a loving light, to think of them in a loving way. The butterflies are just a chemical reaction and fade over time.
If you’re making a choice not to love him anymore, be honest; you lied in your vows and don’t want to make the effort.
This happens pretty often. People will let you feel like you’re supposed to stay in a loveless marriage.
Definitely talk about it, you may also find out you just need to shake things up a bit. Things get pretty routine after such a long time. Y’all need to bring the excitement back.
Ask yourself how you would feel if he was with another woman. Would you still feel the same?
You probably already do
The Love Dare, Fireproof, 5 love languages
Ask for a separation first. See how that goes. You may realize you still love him. Or you may realize how happy you are without him.
Maybe try doing things you guys used to do that made you fall in love with him in the first place, choose to love him, don’t give up too easily.
Please ! Understand, if there’s something there worth fighting for, fight for it! Cause the grass is not greener on the other side !
Just tell him. Don’t beat around the bush
love is a choice, choose him
Staying in love is work. It’s a choice to get up everyday and love your spouse. It’s a choice to be happy. Marriages aren’t working anymore because everyone thinks grass is greener on the other side.
Just hang in for another 7 years so you get that money …
Love isn’t just a feeling. Its a connection. Its a commitment. Its more than just feelings. Its a choice
Can you live without him? If so then you should sit him down and have a talk. Once you have a talk with him, things will never be the same.
If you like him, don’t divorce.
I’m sure he already knows.
Why did you even get married if when the hard parts of marriage strike, your conclusion will be to leave? Lol silly goose
Tell him what you told us. You’ll need to elaborate a bit more with him. But ya… time to face it head on.
There’s a difference between love and being in love, I could never divorce someone who I still love
Marriage is a lot of work, dedication and commitment. Do things differently to spice it o up. I see a lot of people confusing being bored for not being in love .
It’s normal to have “highs and lows” in a relationship. Start making him important again. Do things for him. Start dating again. 13 years is a long time to just throw in the towel. You really wanna start all over again? To go from a relationship where you both know each other on a very deep level back to “what’s your favorite color?” It sounds like you may just be bored. I think the most important thing to know is that it’s normal.
Be happy. You only have this one life.
Tell him. Seek counseling perhaps. But at the end of the day ppl really just do grow apart. You cannot force yourself to be in love with someone & life is just way too short to stay with someone if you’re truly unhappy. I see a lot of ppl in the comments trying in invalidate what you feel. Maybe you just don’t want to work on the marriage & that’s okay.
You dont understand what Love is and what Marriage is about.
Just sit him down and talk it’s not going to be easy for either of you but you can’t keep it from him he need’s to know.
You don’t. You fix it.
That’s sad. Is it because you’re seeing someone else? Try counseling before you give up on your marriage.
Just be honest with him and hopefully you both can move on and be happy.
Tell him? How is this a question. Sit down with him and have an honest conversation.
You won’t always be “in love”… but if you love him, it’s worth it to keep going. I forgot the saying, but someone had said something about the secret to a long marriage… you will not always be in love, those are the times you have to kick it up and fall back in love. Start over, like you’re dating them again. Go on dates, do things, do different things etc fall back in love. It happens, and it will happen numerous times over a lifetime marriage.
Absolutely don’t give up. Just because it seems hard don’t give up. You have to do things you two did together in the beginning of your relationship. You still have to win your partner over married or not. It makes me so sad to see people make posts like this. You don’t have to love or like your partner all the time it’s like that, but don’t tell me you love someone if you’re willing to divorce someone so quick. 13 years is too long to just give up. Take him on dates and do fun things you two enjoy.
Do you think you could try to rekindle it? Couples counseling and making more one on one time for each other may help. Sometimes relationships just get comfortable and you don’t have that warm feeling anymore, but it doesn’t always mean it’s a lost cause. If that’s off the table for you, then I would just have an open honest conversation with him. Say what you’re feeling, but just try to have tact when you do.
Being in love with someone is a choice. To keep choosing someone is what marriage is about. Don’t use excuses if you’re done, just end it or stick it out.
Why are you asking people on facebook
13 years is a long time to be with someone
If you whole heatedly despise him then yeah I would just sit down and have a talk with him
But my first suggestion would be marriage counseling try to work through your problems together maybe you can get passed it
But who knows he might feel the same way as you
You never know good luck and best wishes for the both of you
These comments are not it. Just tell him you don’t love him anymore people fall out of love all the time. All of you people go to counseling counseling isn’t going to help her if she doesn’t love her husband. Nothing is going to help that. And yes I’m editing my comment for those who are like what are you love someone else if that’s the case then that’s the case we can’t help who we fall in love with but if she falls out of love with her husband then she should tell him not keep dragging it along. It’s not healthy for either of you￼
Talk to him, not strangers online
Sounds like you’re looking for an excuse to be with someone else. You didn’t say y’all relationship was bad you said you just don’t love him why would you let him waste 13 years of life for you to say that? Go be with your side piece, after 13 years he may deserve better
Tell him then leave and let him find someone who deserves him
I’m sure he’s already figured it out. Love is action, not words.
You just do. Be honest and tell him the truth. Yes hearing the truth is hard but it’s better than being lied to
Love is a choice. Therapy. Then make that call
Don’t beat around the bush and just have a talk with him
It’s important to realize that all long term relationships go through stages. There will be times when you feel like you don’t love someone or aren’t “in love” and those times can pass. Is he a good man? Does he full all your needs, emotional and otherwise? Do you care for him? If yes to all this, it might just be a phase of ebb and flow. Many blessings!
Sometimes it as easy as going out for coffee and the first thing you could ask him if he’s happy in your marriage? That’s what I did and it finally led to a divorce…
So if you’re not in love with him anymore, just tell him and be honest. If it’s something you’re not willing to work on, let him go. People deserve to be happy and to be with someone in love with them
What’s your ultimate goal? Do you want to break up?
You must have fallen for someone else, or he has not been attentive to you. Many factors leads to falling out. Just be honest and discuss it with him.
Maybe try spicing things up… go on dates, do bedroom things that you haven’t tried before, see if it’s just that you’re getting bored before you just up and leave a 13 yr marriage…
This is sad, is there someone else you want? I’m seeing more and more of this everyday! I can’t imagine telling my hubby after 13 years cause that’s also how long I’ve been w him that I don’t love him anymore, but if that’s truly how you feel I guess the sooner the better, shoot he might have the same feelings towards you and y’all just staying together for comfort bc you’re used to each other like many others have told me! So I guess just tell him, he might surprise you with the same though so be ready to take what you dish out!
Just tell him…!!! There is no other way !!!
I got a tattoo on the inside of my thigh that said next I do not recommend this
Tell him you don’t love him anymore like that and let him go he deserves so much better than you
I think the whole being in love thing has taken on a whole different meaning these days. The feeling of being head over heels by this perfect person is not always everlasting. It’s a choice you make when you commit to someone. You choose to love them on hard days just as much as you do on easy days. They may go from the sexiest person in the room to just average because you’ve had them for so long. People nowadays are always on the lookout for who/what makes them feel amazing 100% of the time…and they forget that whoever/whatever does that for them will not do that for them forever. If you have loved this person for years and years and they are still kind and loving and committed to you, don’t take that for granted. It’s so very hard to find. There could be something that could add that little spark you’re looking for. Honesty is the best policy, so a talk is absolutely needed…but don’t be so quick to jump to checking out and being done.
Kara Mckenzie me hahaha apow
For you to want to tell him your true feelings is awesome , not to many people would do that these days. They would simply just cheat or go on to find someone else they want. You actually wanna talk an tell him that’s awesome big hugs to you ! I look at it I would rather it be 13 years waisted then 30 years waisted
Most people fall out of love but still love each other enough to stay in their marriage.
Are you working on it? Did he do something to kill that love…i.e. cheat?
Sit down and have a real heart to heart, and please consider marriage counseling.
Some of these comments man. She never once said she found someone else. Not all people are cheaters lol. You can be faithful and just not love them anymore. At some point I felt like I didn’t love my husband. We split and got a divorce. Then we eventually got back together got remarried and had more kids.
Being in love waxes and wanes. You don’t have to be in love all the time to have a good marriage. Go to counseling and talk to your husband
You done found a new love?
Love takes work. When you first meet someone you get butterflies and all these new feelings but over time the newness wears off and you have to work at keep my things alive. It’s not always butterflies. Some people mistake those butterflies as love and when they don’t feel that anymore then they don’t think they love them anymore. Sad. Love isn’t a feeling, it’s action and endurance. You make a conscious choice to work at it. I think you should just come out and tell him straight up because he deserves someone who is 100% in it for the long haul.
1st. Get your plans right
-start divorce papers
2nd. Be honest with him and tell him you’ve fallen out of love with him and would like to move on with your life. Go and never come back. Go find your happiness and stop keeping a string on him.
---->>>Move out and give him the space and freedom to date and explore the world again too. He deserves someone who loves him. Let him find it again. Lots a great women out there who would do anything for a loyal man. <<<<-------
Honesty is always the answer. Just be sure and make sure you realize the grass is not always greener and those are words you can never take back
Marriage is work. We aren’t always hopelessly in love with our partners. Try counseling before you make any big decisions.
“i don’t love you” it’s that simple.
Who stole the love you had for him ?
You don’t, just leave.
Love is a decision
Sit him down and be honest. Period
Just say it, there’s no easy way to say it.
You tell him the same way you told everyone on fb…
How long have you felt this way? My advice is couples therapy and try to get to the root of the problem because if he’s a good man and you’re just in a rut in your relationship maybe it just needs rekindled. Being with someone isn’t all rainbows and butterflies everyday. It takes work and both people need to be in it. If he’s abusive I’d say make a plan of escape in secret. But If at the end of your journey together you both decide it would be best and really worked at it together then all you have to do is have a honest heartfelt conversation. Start with a letter to get it straight through your head and make TIME to be together privately and have a conversation where you’re not attacking him just letting him know how you are feeling and ask him where he’d like to go from there.
He may already sense it.
Tell him you just don’t feel the same way you used to.
People change. People grow . And people grow apart.
Be kind and gentle with his feelings. It’s better to be honest, than to waste his time and yours.
Just like how you told us !
Be honest…every marriage takes work…you haveto put in the foot work 100% both of you not 50/50 it’s 100% …COMMUNICATION is KEY!
I asked my husband 1) would he want me to tell him, he said yes. 2) I said how… he said flat out, don’t sugar coat it, or I won’t believe it.
Sit down and talk to him. Be honest with him about how you feel. If you can tell everyone on Facebook, you should be able to talk to your husband.
Tell 'm!! Someone out there is waiting for their soulmate…
Wow! Some of these comments, icky! I suggest that you tell him immediately. Don’t waste anymore of his time. It may hurt him at first but honesty and being a straight forward person is the only way you can do this with dignity. My grandma use to tell me people don’t fall out of love, if someone says that they have they never really loved that person to begin with.
Sit him down and have a heart to heart.
Open your mouth use vocal cords
Don’t waste a guys time please? Understand, as a guy, I am tired of lies, tired of accusations, tired of you women treating us good guys like shit cause you think you deserve better. Truth Is, none of us deserve to be treated like an option, or just someone to sleep with. I’m just tired of it all. And I’m sure, the guy you’re with, is going to break down cause of you. UNTIL DEATH DO US PART. That’s something you don’t understand do u? If you wanna go, just tell the guy okay? I’m sure his tired too
Just tag him on this here post
Tell him! Quit wasting his time! He deserves to be happy too. You should have been gone instead of stringing him along
You never loved him to begin with!