Best thing you can do is give her a 30 day written notice to figure something out and if she pitches a fit and refuses t acknowledge that, go to your local housing department or court house and file for a 24-48 hour eviction
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Remember, people don’t change. They are who they are. If you feel comfortable with telling her to leave, then do it with no empathy. Live your life. You learned from her what you Don’t want to be, toxic people are dangerous.
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You have to just be honest. Start with “this isn’t working.”
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Omg did I write this while I was asleep?! I’m in a very similar situation girl. If you figure it out let me know, my anxiety is out the fucking roof!
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Write her a text and give her 30 days. If she responds that’s basically notice served and acknowledged. From there you can take legal action, best todo it NOW before winter sets in and they give her more then 10 days at hearing if it has togo before the magistrate.
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We had this issue with my fiancé’s mom only she wasn’t invited in, she just moved in while we were camping. You need to be open and honest with her, sit her down (maybe with your brother present and not your fiancé), give her a timeline. If she doesn’t make any plans to move out let her know you will have to start the eviction process. These are steps we had to take, we posted the eviction notice on her bedroom door, the front door and we mailed one to her certified mail…only way she left!!
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Help her find a place to stay and a Job. Is she old enough to get social security?
If she isn’t respecting boundaries, give her a move out date and put it in writing. Make sure she knows it’s to make room for her grandbaby and that you simply cannot put your child after a grown woman who can support herself. Not sure what state you’re in but she can try to fight to stay if you don’t oitnhere in Cali. Usually you have to give 60 days notice but if she isn’t paying rent, you can ask for 30. I would also talk to your brother and give him a heads up beforehand if you trust him not to tell her before you can. If she might end up there I would pay him that courtesy. Good luck, I know this is stressful but you have a family and a husband that need to come first.
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I think you and brother need to talk and find a 55+ apartment building. I believe they are income based. You two can pay first three months rent (both of you) then pay half of half her rent. If it’s $800, you and your brother pay half, $200 each. She’d have to come up with the other $400 whether she collects SS and gets food stamps or some form of assistance. I really don’t know how that works but I do know that’s what it’s for. Tell your brother either you both help or she goes to live with him. In my culture, it’s customary to take care of your elders. Unfortunately she is toxic and you’ve tried helping but she won’t try and you and your family don’t need to be stressed. I hope it works out for you.
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Sounds like my mother in law…. Best thing to do is be straight forward, if she doesn’t have a job that’s her problem there’s plenty of places hiring. In my opinion and from experience, she needs to move on before she damages your marriage beyond repair
I feel for you
She puts you in a difficult spot. Parents shouldn’t depend on ( unless disability or sickness) and guilt their grown children.my daughter has similar situation w her dad. Maybe help her rent a small place she can afford.it sounds mean to push her out, but some people just get too comfortable w someone else taking care of them. Best of luck to you.
I feel like with everyone hiring if she has not found a job yet she is not looking and likes living there for free. Maybe it’s time to pull the bandaid off because sometimes tuff love is the only thing to get someones but in gear.
Explain that when you have the baby you will need the room for a nursery . That way you are giving her time to find some where
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I was in this EXACT situation. Be honest. If she doesn’t want to hear about YOUR feelings, be blunt. Tell her to leave. Your mental health and your family is more important than making sure not to hurt your moms feelings. Put yourself first. It’s time.
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I understand from the context that you are passive and don’t do well with confrontation. With family members I have often at times been the same way. My advice would be to offer looking online with her to do some job applications. Perhaps even take her out to town this weekend and look for local places she can apply. Sooooo many places are even offering a sign on bonus because no one wants to work during Covid. Additionally, advise her that your intention for your spare room was to have a nursery for the baby and although you don’t want her to be out on the street, you need to compromise a goal and date that she can anticipate being on her own so you can make room for the baby and it’s belongings. If she is already a toxic individual then there will probably be some push back and arguing or attempting to sway your mind by offering services at home like helping with baby but you need to be firm. Honor your mother and father but also understand the family you make, not the one you come from, is the most important thing. I would also call your brother and kinda talk with him about the issue and see where his head is at— he might have an equally difficult relationship with her and she might not even be welcome there. Just take it day at a time and don’t overwhelm yourself for baby’s sake.
You just tell her. She should know that already … call your brother & tell him you need her to live with him. And tell your mom to get a job
Tell her with a talk honestly.
Let her know she has 60 days to get a job and move out. Let her know your reasons behind your decision. And stick with it.
Tell your brother it’s his turn
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Mom, you need to move out.
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Sorry Mom But with the Baby coming soon you need to move out.
always 3 sides of a story, bring your Mom to get income support, help find a spot to live she can manage, help her monthly expenses, set limits but after all, she could have had an abortion…
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Ask your brother to insist she come there for a while. Then together look for employment and housing
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You need to remind her the situation was only supposed to be for a few months. So now you have to give her a few months 1 or 2, notice and let her get a plan together for moving. I wouldn’t get into the personal issues since it will just make matters worse. Blame it on the baby coming and not enough room and that it’s been almost 6 months since she’s been living there and it was always going to be temporary.
You might need to give her a push by helping her find a job.
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First talk to your brother and see if she could stay there. Then talk to your mom and tell her it’s time to look for other places to live.
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Wait till she leaves,pack her things and drop it off on your brothers doorstep.shes not trying to do anything else but live off y’all.i have grown sons I’d never move in on my kids I’d sleep under a bridge first.
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You just tell her. You have your own life and you aren’t a bad person for telling your mom she needs to move out. Your mom is being disrespectful and crossing your boundaries for out welcoming her stay. Once you do it, you’ll feel a whole lot better. I promise you.
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Buy her a few nights at a hotel and move her shit there. She needs to get a job she needs to take care of herself she is not your responsibility. Also tell her starting October 1 if she can’t pay XXX amount of dollars then she needs to move out by the 30th.
Legally, you can’t just make her move out. You need to service an official eviction notice.
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Give her a deadline to be out working or not.
You sit her down and say it’s time to go. But unfortunately she has tenants rights now and if she doesn’t want to leave you will have to evict her. Which may not happen for awhile due to the pandemic. You may need to break your lease or ask the landlord to kick you out if it’s against your lease to have long term guests to get rid of her.
In the fixture don’t bring toxic people around your immediate family parent or not. You teach your children they are safe people.
Go visit your brother and leave her there
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You would have to Evict her now . So look into that bc anyone that stays with you more then 2 weeks are concidered residents and if she knows that she’ll probably fight you on this . Or just be strong and tell her , her time is up and she has to leave now…Or you can just be really rude and make her feel unwanted and she’ll get the hint and just go…
Just tell her she needs to go
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Give her 60 days notice and then she needs to change of leave
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Tell her this “if you aint helping you aint living here” she isnt helping mentally or around the house and she isnt working. Shes a parasite more than anything if she is doing more damage
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Talk to your brother and tell him that it’s his turn. You have a child coming soon and that you need the room.
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Tell her that she has 60 days to get a job and find a place (or convince your brother to let her come there). Tell her you love her, but that you need the space for your expanding family, and remind her that this was never a permanent solution for her.
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Tell your brother it’s his turn and he needs to pick her up by a certain day you choose.
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Print her out resources. Jon applications, housing leads, any assistance she could qualify for.
Then just talk to her and tell her that you know it’s time to part ways and you’ve already taken the initiative to help her find a new place. Set a firm “eviction” date. I’d also have it all in writing and do it by your county’s book so if she tries to pull squatters rights you can legally evict her 
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Just tell her the truth
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You need to send her a certified letter stating that she has 30 days to leave the premises.
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Yep give her a deadline an then say bye bye
Drop her off at your brother’s and tell him he’s got a visitor for awhile
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A good tip as well is to set a definite date that she needs to be moved out by. And maybe look up eviction laws just in case you or her involve authorities and or lawyers.
Idk she is your mom I wish I could lived with my mom but she passed away in 2003 she is your mom how much trouble can she cause she raised u I would never throw my mom out. You only have 1 mom just have a talk with her. I would do anything to see my mom again
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Just tell her that with this new baby, you’re going to need more space, so she should start looking for a new place to stay or talk to her son. Especially if she is becoming a problem in your home. Give her 60 or 90 days. You don’t have to be mean about it. But let her know what’s up.
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How did she tell you you needed to move out
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Talk to your brother and the two of you come up with some options. Then y’all talk to her and offer to help her find a new place because you need to prepare the nursery. Maybe she can live with your brother while y’all look. That way you aren’t “throwing her out”…it will be more like “guiding her out” with support.
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Help her she is ur mom she took care of u
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Tell her “GetOut” no matter if she’s mom
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Give her a time limit to be out! Your baby will need that space. It’s not your responsibility to house your mother and support her. She needs to stand on her own 2 feet
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Say Mom I need the space for when the baby comes so please ask brother if you can stay there, and if not look into the local homeless shelter.
You don’t. She is your mom and gave you life. You talk with your brother and have him talk to her. Maybe she can yo back and forth. But God doesn’t look kindly on those who throw there mothers on the street
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Addressing all the “but she’s your mom” comments… if someone ANYONE is a toxic presence in your life, you are completely in your right to escort them out of your life. You don’t owe anybody anything, & y’all honestly don’t even kno if her mom raised her , or if there were problems in her childhood. We’re tryin to end the misconception that it’s okay for people to hurt you bc they’re family.
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Catch her off guard and have her sit next to you by the computer or phone,Help her apply for housing and assistance, heck sign her up for a student loan and send her butt to school for a trade, type a notice and have her sign (digital is fine if you don’t have a printer),all in one swoop this happens with your husband at your side, she is not to be distracted, put the baby down, it doesn’t have to be dramatic, but if she toxic, it will turn dramatic. If dramatic, even more leverage to not explain your mental health to her or a child coming( common knowledge she ignores). And when she is out doing something after notice, change the locks. 
Boom:100:
If she’s anything like my mother wait till she leaves change the locks put her stuff outside and tell your brother it’s his turn
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How sad…change the mother role for your children cause I don’t know what I would do without my mother.
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Be straightforward exactly how you asked the question.
“Mom I need you to move out we are expecting our second child and need room, you don’t respect my house rules and me and my husband need time to mentally prepare for a new baby. You have __ amount of days to find new accommodations.”
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I would just tell her, your little family is growing and you all need your space and privacy back and it’s time she gets her own place. Help her find an income based housing. Maybe you and the brother could help with the deposit and electric payment if she’s not able to work or until she can get settled into a new job. Also, apply her for food stamps if she not able to work or if she just needs them temporarily to get on her feet at her new place and new employment. I would definitely talk to your brother about it and let him know that your at your wits end and need help. Best wishes.
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Give jer a real and true date to be gone, but a realistic date, cause it takes alot of money to get a place of ur own. Just be real with her thag she has until this daye to gt her own place and stick to that date
Tell her if she doesnt hv a place to live by said date, its on her if she has to sleep in the streets, or ur brothers. Be real and honest with her, cause sometimes it takes a wake up call to light a fire under some people, cause uve given her a free ride so far and she hasnt gotten a job or her own place yet. U got to be raw and honest with her. Time to move out mom.
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There are jobs everywhere right now and has been for awhile. No excuse for not having a job. Maybe not her dream job but she could have a job if she really wanted too. Set a realistic date and tell her it’s causing stress on you and husband. Maybe let her live at your brothers house while she finds work. Best of luck.
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I had this with my dad. Lived with my husband and I and our 2 kids for 7 years. He never looked for a place to live, never paid for anything. He would go against our parenting among other things. So I we told him he had to leave. He started saying we stole from him. We changed the locks and he found his way back to NY. Living off my 4 siblings who do not want him. He never takes responsibility. The other thing he lived in our living room the whole time he lived with us. Ur best option is to kick her out.
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just tell her straight up, that you were happy to help her out, but now your about to have another child and she needs to find somewhere else to go. she’s a grown woman, she’ll figure it out. daughters don’t need to take care of their mothers (unless health related issues or something tragic)
Take Mom on a tour of an assisted living facility and tell her you will help her get Medicare/ Medicaid paperwork together. And you’ll visit often and she can do a weekend once a quarter.
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Just be up front, there’s really no way to tip toe around it. Give her a notarized paper stating a date she needs to be out.
Don’t let your family ruin the family you are creating.
Give her a date. There’s no reason not have a job, they’re are businesses looking for hell everywhere. Tell her she has over stayed her welcome and she has like 2-3 weeks to find somewhere else to live🤷♀️
Find her another place to go and set it all up, transportation moving her stuff, and just explain to her that you need your space the stress is too much, and baby will be here soon. I hope you understand and drop her off
Mom you need to move. You are making matters worst for you and your loved ones. She is going to stay forever so speak up
If she’s toxic then it’s time to tell her to leave. You don’t need that extra stress while you’re pregnant. Someone’s you have to have tough love.
You have to set a deadline before they move in. Now if you set a deadline it will need to be with enough time for her to get a job or make other arrangements. I had my dad live with me and he’s toxic too. I eventually had to kick him out on the spot because he became dangerous to be around the kids. I get it. It sucks.
Tell he r to go to your brother house. Just pack her up @ drop her off. Your husband @ kids comes 1st
I finally had to tell my mother to get out no matter how you do it she will get over it
Hand her legal paperwork evicting her. That should work
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Or you can send her to your brother’s for a while, its his turn.
She might be good help when the baby is born. I’d wait and use the help
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Send that paragraph u wrote out to her . It was quick and to the point
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Talk to her, tell her the stress you are feeling and it’s not healthy for the new baby.
Talk to your brother have him step in and help
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Sounds like she isn’t able to take care of herself. Help her get help.
Give her a move out date and encourage her to look for a job
Know and realize that your immediate family and their welfare comes first.
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“Hey, Mom. You need to move out.”
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Be honest with her…maybe help her find a apartment thru government assistance…
That would greatly depend on having another place for her to go.
I wish my mommy was still here cause she was never in my way .
Tell her you need a break from her and say go stay with your brother
Help her find housing for low income elders there are housing list she would be put on and out there
Put your big girl panties on and tell her it’s time to go and stick to it
Put her ass on the street. Tell her to get out. She will be there when she dies if you don’t.
Time to send her to brother’s house or a shelter. Shelter can help find a job and is like an apartment get to stay in up to 2 years. She needs to go
Sorry if she is toxic in your life I would be blunt say it’s time to go I’m having another baby need the room and peace of mind
Just tell her to leave…i mean if it is taking a mental toll on you and your family then its time to tell her she needs to go especially if she is and has always been toxic
Try being honest with her…that is the best advice anyone can give you…
Tell her it’s time to go.
I would simply say “ Get Out”
You don’t have to beat around the Bush, just tell her!!
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Present her with eviction papers
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Yes sit down with her. Give her an expected move out date. I would call your local non emergency line and ask to speak with a cop if ones available and ask about your laws. She might try to use that against you and cops can “legally” not make her leave because she might be considered a “resident”. Have a legal document typed up just in case and serve her a verbal and typed eviction notice. Have all other options ready too because it might be that if she fights you to leave. Tell her if she refuses to leave, it will make it worse for her. I would make it hell. Lock up the fridge and take all basic necessity away and make it unlivable for her. I’m sorry if this even seems harsh but family is more quick to fuck you over then most people. Have all your options available and ready.
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A mother like this, you have to just put your foot down. You just need to tell her, in blunt terms, you need her to move out. Bring her an application for rental assistance & whatever else she might be eligible for. Food stamps, etc.
Be prepared for her to throw a fit when you do it. Just let the fit wash over you & don’t react to her tantrum any more than necessary.
Probably wouldn’t hurt to put away and/or lock up anything of value that she might mess with before you do it. They get petty & go after revenge sometimes. Especially money, access to money, important papers, family photos. Otherwise you risk something coming up missing, or “accidentally” getting packed with her things.
Send her an email or text confirming the date you she needs to be out by so if/when she has a million excuses or just flat refuses you have proof for a proper eviction.
Alternatively, if your brother is willing to take her, he could make it more pleasant for everyone by convincing her he wants her to come live with him, but, wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want to do that.
Try this, ‘mom, you need to move by the end of the month. We were happy to help but we need our space and privacy so you need to make other arrangements. This is not negotiable and I will not fight about it. Please make arrangements asap because otherwise I am going to have to pack your belongings and change the locks.’
If you can, get her a motel room for a week or two but stick to your guns and leave it between her and your brother if she wants to go there. It is her situation to remedy, not yours. Congratulations on the new baby and all the best to you. You’ve got this.