I’m curious how you and your spouse/SO manage money, split bills, contribute, etc. My husband and I both work. He pays for his vehicle note, the house, and electricity. Most of the time he gets the groceries as well. I pay my vehicle note, car and boat insurance for both of us, water, cellphones/electronics for all of us, the kids doctor bills, prescriptions, school stuff, clothes, registration fees, equipment, etc, and those “in between” grocery runs. We split the cost on smalller things like Hulu, Netflix, formula/diapers/baby stuff. I recently switched jobs, so between checks I had to borrow from our joint savings. He is the one who contributes to it, though, if I borrow from it - I always pay it back. Of course, with the switch of jobs it’s taken a little longer to pay it back, but I’ve paid 90% of it. He knew I did not have much left over after that, but needed me to grab some things for the baby. Fine. Well, I asked him if he’d pay for those items since that cost left me with practically nothing. The man is now lecturing me and telling me I need to pay more than I owe to savings plus the money I am “borrowing” today (which is the money I spent for the baby stuff). It’s just frustrating because he gets paid and moves more than half of his check to savings. That’s awesome. I envy him. But at the same time, I’m stuck with random costs after bills and gas for my vehicle are paid - basically my leftover earnings are expendable
If he is your spouse and you are married, his money is your money and your money is his money. It shouldn’t matter who pays things as long as they get paid, because it’s both to your money. That’s how I see it anyways.
We put all our money in one account and discuss big purchases and pay all bills out of it. We share as a family. Especially if your married
I’m a stay at home mom … but I’m opening my boutique so soon I’ll be able to help out with bills 
All house Bill’s and car Bill’s split 50/50. We have our own phone Bill’s and any CC Bill’s we take care of on our own
He pays EVERYTHING when I worked I pitched in when/where needed
We both moved what we needed to cover bills into our bill accounts and moved the rest into our joint account. It was all our money and all our bills.
We share all finances
Not everyone is going to be the same at all with this conversation. My husband and I put all our money into one account. We calculate all the money needed for bills and move out the extra for groceries, gas and fun into our spending account. We talk about any big expenses over $40. We also have learned to check the account before swiping the card. This works for us.
Our households functions as “ours” not “his” or “mine” we have a joint account in which we pay our household bills out of, and discuss big purchases with each other.
You need to learn the advantages (and disadvantages) of fixed versus variable expenditures, obviously he knows fixed is better
So we split no expenses all money is communial
It all goes into one pot…
I’m having trouble even relating because even though my spouse and I have separate finances, it all goes to the common good of house and family. If some unforeseen large expense pops up, whoever has the extra funds covers it. We don’t keep track, it’s not something that needs a score kept. I think I’d be rather insulted if he presumed to lecture me about something like that.
We have a shared bank account. We just consider it our money not his or mine.
We are a team/partners. Our funds go to one account. We go over our budget regularly, discuss goals/wants/needs and set aside money for our savings/kids funds/etc.
We have a shared account we both contribute to to pay all the bills with and we each have our own account to spend how we want.
What do you mean “borrow”?
I thought in a “marriage “ his money is your money and vice versa , my husband and I have one joint account where we both contribute towards bills and we have our own savings and checking
All the money goes into one joint account that I have control over & he asks for money when he needs it… I was a stay at home mom for the majority of our marriage and now I work on a fishing boat in Alaska with him.
I’m the main bread winner. He works part time and pays rent ($575) I pay everything else (equals out to be about $900 plus $220 a week for groceries.) I love being the one with a career and love that he gets to stay home with our kids.
We pay 50/50 of everything that is used by both or family
I pay gas and electric and my car insurance and my phone bill. He pays rent, wifi, home owners insurance, his phone bill and his car insurance and groceries is whoever has the money at the time. Also I worrk at subway so I only make about 1,000 a month. He makes the most so he pays the bigger bills.
Never in a marriage or even long term relationship should one struggle and the other get ahead in life financially. Everything should be as one and money split for play money etc. Your getting shafted.
Sounds like he is being a jerk. He should be paying for more. Sounds like he makes more, so he needs to pay for more.
This was posted the other day
He works and I stay home. We have 8 kids and can’t afford a babysitter. Luckily it’s a damn good job and we own our home
each pay day both of you put the same amount in a account just for bills .
I pay my Jeep note, the Razor, all insurance (health and car/boat/UTV/camper), all medical, power, and most groceries. He pays everything else. House, other utilities, cabel/internet, RV. We both have our own Visa bills. But if one of us is short it’s not “borrowing” or a loan. We have our own accounts but share.
Me and my husband have a joint account- we take in account how much we make and put x amount in it for bills- we also have our own individual accounts that we can do as we please! There isn’t ever any issues over- who spent this or that. It’s been great honestly!
Oh that’s horrible. I would never be married to a man and still struggling. I can do that by myself !!
We put all
If our money in the joint account and each have a debit card for our own use and mutually pay all bills.
If I were in y’all’s shoes I personally would write down all your bills and just do half.
I can’t really say though since I’m a sahm (with the exception of maybe a weekend a month when I get called into work) so my husband takes care of everything
Our money goes into the same account and it’s OUR money regardless of who technically earned it. That seems incredibly toxic. 
I’m sorry you live like this. To me that’s wrong. My man and I put all in one pot. Pay our bills. Have money left and whoever gets whatever (grocerywise) He also always makes sure I have money in my wallet. He says It’s always a good idea to have cash in case of an emergency.
All our money goes into the same bank account. So whatever bills come out the money is there
Add up ALL the bills…split it in 2…then divide by how many paychecks you get a month. And thats what we take out per check…but now Im a stay at home mom so he pay it all 
We both work the same hours ,making the same amount of money ,at the same place just different departments,we split ALL the bills and gas including childcare in half and then whatever is left of my money is mine snd whatever is left of his is his and we don’t bother each other as far as spending what’s left that’s ours on what we please and if we have to borrow from each other unless it’s said otherwise like for something for the kids then we pay it back . When it was just him working and making more he paid the bigger bills and I paid the smaller bills and for necessary items but it still was the same after bills are paid then the rest is fair game snd up to us and our checking accounts on whatever we feel like doing with the rest of our money. Don’t work for everyone but it works for us .
We got a joint account before we were even married because it made sense for our situation at the time. That’s been since we were 20 going on 12 years and money has never been an argument. We see it as communal and nothing is “his” or “mine” because bills, groceries, kids stuff, and even fun stuff are both of our responsibility. I know that doesn’t work for everyone but it has been a blessing in our marriage that we have never had to argue over who is going to pay for what and figure out what is “fair”. It just all comes from the same account and we are 100% a team.
My husband and his have a joint account. We don’t keep track of who pays what or who makes what. We pay bills and fun money etc from our joint account. No issues at all.
I think it’s so strange to split finances while married like this. Who the hell wants to keep a tally on all of this shit… seems petty.
Our paychecks are deposited into a joint checking account that we use to pay bills, buy groceries, use for fun and vacations, etc. There is no his money/account and my money/account. No way in hell would I be in a marriage like the one you’re describing.
We put all our money in one account and pay everything out of it. We also have our own personal accounts that we put in our own money earned outside of our job income (ex birthdays, holidays, selling out stuff, etc) and that’s our own “fun money”
We had one joint account all money went in and paid all bills. Out of it and just spend it. That way
We’re a team. We pay whatever with whatever we got.
We have a joint account. Whatever works for people, but this seems more like a roommate situation than marriage. Also, I would make sure you have your own savings account if something happens.
We have a joint account and it’s OUR money, not his not mine, OURS!!! We’re married, we’re a team and do and pay everything together!!
Their is no mine or yours in our house never has been. What we have and make is ours and that’s the way it should be in a marriage.
I’m a SAHM and we have a joint account. It’s a union of everything.
I don’t understand this…all of the money you both make should belong to both of you . This splitting expenses is such a strange concept to me. Why would his savings not also be your savings?
We have joing account, all bills get paid out of it. We usually go shopping together. Everything is done together no his or hers…
I put all our money into a joint account and pay everything from that. What’s left is what’s left
His money is my money and my money is his money. We have one account that everything comes out of and we have joint savings accounts.
I could never “split” bills. I just personally don’t understand how that works or is fair. My husband and I both work full time… he makes 15 dollars more than me an hour… so what I make in 2 weeks, he brings home in 1 week. However, I work in daycare… so I compromise a good paying job, to make sure our children are being cared for properly ( we had a bad experience with an in home daycare ) while also receiving a discount on child care. Which if we didn’t have that discount, he would not be getting such a nice check. So we both work, we have one account that both of our checks go into and we both have access too. He physically pays the bills… but we communicate about what we have left over after bills and what we are spending. Our bills are our bills and our paychecks are our paychecks… whatever money is left over… is our money. There’s never been an issue…
We have a joint account and then separate accounts. 80% in joint the rest in private.
My husband and I have totaled up the bills and we split it which includes grocery spending. I usually buy kids clothes and such because he just doesn’t know really what they need but if I need extra for something or don’t have the cash he will give it to me too. We are back and forth on who pays when we go out and do something. It all depends on if we worked full weeks or not and so forth. We take turns paying for the fun things we do.We do have separate accounts though. It works for us
This sounds more like a business deal than a marriage.
My husband and I have a joint bank account. He works, I stay home with the kids. I don’t have an income but my job is just as important as his is in both our eyes. If either one of us wants to buy something big we talk about it.
That seems extremely unnecessary & stressful. Our money all goes into our regular checking. All of our bills & finances come out of the same account. It’s our family, our house, our income & our decisions. We are a single unit, not seperste units.
His is mine and mine is ours🤣 we have 1 checking account. All of our money goes in, bills get paid and if we want something we get it.
Yeah so when I did work, we just tossed all the money into one account and paid for everything with whatever is in there and if we had left over money for the month, we toss it into savings. I no longer work because I have health issues and after my job shut down permanently due to Covid, we just didn’t see the point in having me go back to work when it would cause me a lot of pain. So now we just pay everything from the same account with the money he makes and toss anything extra into savings. I honestly don’t understand the splitting of bills and keeping things separated when you’re married, you come together as “one” in a marriage, why still split everything. When we were still dating, we split everything but we split it so we would have about the same amount left over for each of us. He paid more bills because I made less but we both still put in the same amount of effort into working (literally, we worked at the same place lol he was just a supervisor though) so why should I be punished with no left over money and him have so much left over money that he could take a month off work and still pay that months bills 
My SO and I are not married, been together 16yrs. We have a joint account. It is our money not just mine and not just his. Ours.
You’re married- everything together
Bless you, I pay for just about everything but the mortgage.
Ummmm, we have a joint checking and savings. All of our money goes into it. We pay our bills, we save, we spend money on family stuff. There’s no 50/50. My husband has his own fencing business and makes way more than I do, anyway…by almost 6 figures.
Wow! Read ALL of that to him! Writ down EVERYTHING you pay for and KEEP all receipts.
Your not in a relationship honey, your in a separation!!!
When you file your taxes Separately be sure to tell him YOU ARE CLAIMING THEM!! That’s your money!
You are supporting your children ALONE!!
The only thing your missing are the divorce papers.
It is written in the Bible
When 2 are JOINED as ONE …It says that because husband and wife SHARE everything.
I’m not mad at you honey. I’m mad at him because that’s just like a narcissistic SOB.
His family is HIS RESPONSIBILITY!!
Tell him you’ve decided to stay home and raise your children. See what he says then. You are being mentally abused. I’m sorry to tell you but, this is a form of abuse.
If u are going to split bills then it should be prorated. Example
If u make 500 and he makes 1000 let’s say you only have one bill of $300 it should NOT be 150 each instead it should be a % of income. He makes double what u make in this example so he would pay 200 and you pay 100 and all bills should be treated w same calculation based on income. This is the only fair way to split bills when income is different.
We have a joint and that’s the only one we have, any money that comes in is our money. I haven’t quite understood why anyone does it any different way.
That’s ridiculous though, your “man” sounds like a little bïtch. Who wouldn’t put their money to his kids? Sounds like you’re an atm to him. 
Marriage is about being a team. That sounds like you have roommate more than a husband. I know some people work this way but it always seems the woman gets screwed. My mom and her husband have a similar set up but she pays most of the bills and then they live off his money. It never made sense to me. Anything that comes in is ours. We make decisions together about what to do with our money.
I never understood why married or common law couples have a mine and yours mentality. My husband and I have one account we share. Everything goes into that account and everything comes out of that account. Then we have a savings account that we both have access to but don’t touch unless we need to.
We have a joint account where all paychecks go into and we budget a certain amount for extra things like boots or books for me and my husband gets car funds for his car/truck/motorcycle and then x amount for the kids extra things like cub scouts and clothes and gifts. Then all our bills come out together. I’m a stay at home mom so obviously all his paycheck gets split that way, but really it’s our money. He goes on a night out to watch some MMA fights and then I take a girls night. It’s a shared thing for us.
If I worked as well, it would still be the same just our “fun funds” would be more and still split evenly. We are a team and as a team everything is 50/50
All the money goes into my checking account. He is not on my bank information. But, if he needs something, then he has me go with him or he takes the debit card. I make sure all the bills are paid. He works and I am on disability. But, we just make sure bills are paid and then we deal with whatever we need for the rest of the month.
Both of our paychecks get deposited into our joint account and then I pay all the bills, we’re a team, we are one, we’re not roommates or business partners!!!
My husband and I both work full time and he pays for everything and my money goes to whatever we might need , I’m old fashioned and believe the man should take care of the household financially , I of course still do the cleaning, laundry taking care of animals, kids, errands and so forth. But that’s what works for us we’ve also been together 27 years this year!!
This whole post was weird to me. My husband and I both have our own bank accounts (I only have a separate account cuz my sister passed away last year and we now raise her youngest daughter and her survivors benefits go into the account I opened) but I control both. There is no “you pay rent and I’ll pay utilities” in our relationship. He’s the bread winner of our family so mostly all of the bills are paid from his income. My paycheck goes into his bank account so we honestly wouldn’t even know what money is “his” and what money is “mine”. This post made me feel like y’all are more on a business arrangement instead of a marriage. It would be really strange to me if my husband was like “I bought our daughter shoes today, so you’ll have to pay me back” 
We each contribute the same percentage of our income to a shared account that goes to our bills and household needs. We then contribute the same percentage of our incomes to our shared retirement and savings accounts. The remaining balance we combine and split evenly into our personal accounts for our disposable income. I use my portion for whatever I want without consulting him and he does what he wants with his disposable income. We never fight over money. Works well for us.
From the comment thus far most of which I have read, I see that most function like my husband and I and that is our money has always gone into one pot like most here.
I am retired now but I know my daughter and husband do the same.
I would be curious to know if you and your husband make similar earnings. Does he share equally well in the cooking, cleaning and parenting. If he wants to nit pick money then he needs to be reminded of all you do and that has $$ value, too.
Go over all the budget and get financial counceling. This isn’t healthy finances for a marriage. Look into Financial Peace, get with a company like Edward Jones and go over finances. Type out on a word Excel document all the income and expenses to be prepared for the meeting and talk about a realistic budget. Marriage is 100/100. Doesn’t matter if you are a stay at home mom or having a part time job, always talk about finances.
If he makes more he should pay more however your a family when one falls the other should help pick up. Sounds like you pay more. If he knows your struggling he should be helping out. They are his kids to. He’s not a man if throws in your face. My bf pays 90% of all the bill and my kids aren’t even his.
His check goes to our account and I do what I want with it
I’ll never understand the split expenses. That just feels like a roommate situation to me.
However, if it’s a joint account, it should be available to the both of you in the time of need.
That sounds so dysfunctional. Sorry, but he’s wrong. If it were me, put ALL bills together and both contribute to it equally. But, it’s whatever
Why split money? My husband was the soul wage earner for years so “his” money was used for most things but if I had money it was accessible both of us to use. I now also work full-time and again we both have access. We are a team so our money is our money not his and hers…
Our money is OUR money. There is no “mine” and “yours”. We are a team and we operate as such. We have one account, all of our income goes into it. I do all of the paperwork type stuff for our family so I’m the one who makes sure the bill payments get submitted. We pay OUR bills with OUR money, and anything that’s left over for spending is OUR spending money. We always discuss big purchases before hand, just out of respect for the other. And actually we usually mention pretty much everything we spend to eachother. We’re very open and honest with eachother about where our money goes.
We have separate accounts only because I didn’t feel like switching everything into one account after we got married. I draw out whatever I need in order to pay bills, get groceries/household supplies, and gas from both of our accounts. I just go to the ATM to get money out of his account… There is no mine/his, it is ours. As far as paying for kids, we only have 1 left at home(the rest are grown) we both buy what is needed for her, she is my daughter but my husband stepped up to be her daddy and he would never make me borrow money to get what she needs.
Most people I have known with split expenses ended up getting a divorce. For us, our paychecks go into a joint account and we pay bills from that account. What’s his is mine and what’s mine is his. If for whatever reason you need to maintain separate finances then it should be based on %s of income and you should figure out all your bills. If you make more you pay more if you make less you pay less. And is that savings just for him or is it savings for the family because it sounds more like your roommates and he’s a banker than a marriage. How are you planning on handling retirement or if something happened and you couldn’t work?
My husband & I got a joint account when we got married and that’s where we pay everything from. We don’t split bills. We are 1 now. So every bill is both our responsibility. This is not a bash to ppl who do things differently, but I just don’t understand why people split bills when you’re married. Your $$ is going to bills reguardless. So why and how does it make sense for 1 to pay more or less than the other when you can just put your $ in 1 account and do it all from there?
We share bank accounts and credit cards. He makes way more than I do. We also work as a team in the home. Together 15 years and married 13 this August
You two need to sit down and either combine finances or have more fair split of bills. Even split there’s a good chance that’s all marital money anyways. Your debt is his debt and his deb is your debt. It affects the family finances. Seriously get some counseling bc he doesn’t seem to see you as equal.
Joint account, we have 2 kids, everything anyone needs or any bills to pay come out of this account! As someone said, your not room mates
You are married and you don’t share accounts? My husband works, and I use the money to pay our bills and get groceries… i can’t imagine having to worry about splitting things like this. Sounds really stressful.
I’ll never understand this new age philosophy of “splitting money.” We both work, our paychecks go into the same account, and we pay bills or buy what we want/need out of it. When he was the only one working, I had access to all of the money in the account.
Hold up… 
Write down every single bill and include the estimates of all the other cost that go out weekly and monthly like groceries, kids expenses, take out, clothes, gas, oil changes, all those little things you pay for so he can see the Grand scheme of things then take both of your income minus everything, divide the left over and put in 3 separate savings accounts ( the household one for unexpected expenses and then his and yours ) that is fair to the “both” of you… not just him!!!. He has got this messed up this is y’all not just him those bills and kids are his to help with the “whole” cost not just part of it. If he makes more than you its not right for you to have all the extra and little expenses that ADD up to a lot and then leave you broke in the meantime he has a BIG FAT SAVINGS ACCOUNT… No that is not right or fair… 
We have our own separate accounts because our spending style is different. We both work full-time and make within a few bucks of each other. I give him 200 bucks a month toward our home bills.i pay our vehicle insurance cell phones and groceries. We take turns on dinners out and fun. We take turns on childcare I pay for our clothing and any household needs for cleaning etc if we need a home repair we discuss the cost and split accordingly if one is short we will pick up the coat but it’s paid back…we pay our own car payments and credit card bills
I am a student. Husband works and pays everything right now. We are a team. I don’t ask for money. Joint account.
I don’t understand why everything us split these days. Who cares who physically pays more, does more at home, has a better job. It’s supposed to be a partnership, not just a roommate. I even see this with married couples. My husband and I have always, since dating, joined our money. Didn’t matter if I had more or him. We did it together. Still do 17 years later.
We… dont? Any money either of us has ever made goes together and then we pay for things with it… WE pay for OUR bills, WE pay for OUR children etc. At one point I worked, we shared the money. After that we both worked and shared the money, now he works while I am at home with the kids. We still share the money In the future when the kids are older and can watch themselves for awhile while we are both at work, we will still share the money…
I know that doesn’t work for everyone, but when it comes to money, what you guys are doing doesn’t seem to work for ya.
In my case i pay my bills (car, credit cards, phone etc) he pays his, but we both share our bills (rent, electricity, wifi, daycare, and our daughters expenses 50/50.)
It sounds like he’s tired of being the driving force of your future. His income is being taken advantage of in his eyes. ( I can assume he makes more than you)
It isn’t that fun paying for your future and then paying for the now and then paying for the in between.
I understand you guys are together but it does wear down a man working hard to earn a wage to have unexpected things fuck him.
Is he allowed to have things that are just his?
Motorcycle? Nice car?
It sucks to feel like your just working to feed the next fuck up.
We both work it goes into one account and i pay what bills need to be paid.
My husband and I have been married for almost 18 years and we don’t split anything nor have we ever. Joint checking, file taxes jointly, etc.