We will be married 44 years on our next anniversary. When we got married we got joint accounts. Checking savings and credit cards. What is mine is his and what is his is mine
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Wait I’m confused. My husband pays for everything basically. I do work, self employed. But we don’t keep a tally of who pays what. My money is mainly for fun things and he covers all the bills
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Our financial situation was not something we planned, but just kinda fell into place. He pays for house & car, I pay everything else (utilities, insurance, phones, etc.) And it just happens to be pretty equal. I’m kinda ocd about paying bills, & keep them listed with the amount & due date on a dry erase board. He says he’d never be able to keep up with all that. Lol. This system works great for us, but may not for everyone.
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What’s mine is hers. What’s hers is mine. All income is pooled together. Seventeen years and never fought over money. Not even when times were tough. The idea of one spouse owing the other money does not compute.
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I would total up the total monthly expenses and then split them if that is how your relationship is set up. I myself, don’t understand that mentality when it comes to a marriage. I feel like both put money into shared account so that we can pay our monthly expenses.
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Wow, you need to sit him down and have a serious financial talk. It’s not my money your money when your married. It’s our money after the "I do"s are spoken. Sometimes it’ll be 80:20 or 50:50, but your in it together now. You help each other out. You don’t borrow from your spouse.
I’m 28, a stay at home mom, while my hubby is 25, working. He’s the money maker, while I figured out what use the checks on. Rent, bills, food, things for our apartment. And if there’s any left over, I mostly let him use it unless there’s really something I’d like. Even then, I’d use it for our kids or on him.
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That’s your spouse. He shouldn’t be asking you to pay back money you use for his child. 
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We both work it goes into one account, our joint checking account and i pay what bills need to be paid, anything left over goes into our joint savings account!!
A couple is one entity. Money is put in account, bills are paid and what remains… is for both… I do not understand this mindset. Cannot afford it, ok. Sell boat as you pay for it.
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Frank Salas Gali Velazquez 
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All our money goes into a joint account. Well it did when he was working.
If yall are not married are truly stuck on splitting things fairly then you’d need to figure out income ratio. For example, if he makes 30% more income than you do, then he pays 30% more in bills. If you are married then I don’t see the point in splitting money. My husband and I have 3 accounts - I figured up monthly bills and we put enough money in our “bill” account to make sure all of that gets covered. The “spend account” is for groceries or misc. Stuff we want to buy but no one is keeping tabs or who spends what or having to pay anything back. And we have a savings account that a certain % of each check goes into.
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It’s hard for me because I babysit in my home, I only get so much a week and it all goes to him! I kept 40 bucks for myself last week.
I don’t get a dime from him, i know he’d make me pay him back if I borrow money it’s not our money it’s his! 
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We both work; we put all our money into one bank account, and I make a budget listing all the bills that are coming out before we get paid again. Then let him know how much we have left over for “free spending” after bills and saving.
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Child stuff should be equally split. U both made the kids.
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Weve both always worked at times ive made more at times him.we were both married before 5 kids total his mine ours.we have always sat down together paid bills from our joint checking acount.communicated what was left for groceries the kids ect…our money pays bills our mobey covers unexpected emergencys our savings act.grows and gets smaller.we dont separate…
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My husband pays for everything, cars house insurance, Dr medicine, groceries diapers higene ect. My paycheck pays the fun stuff, outings random pizza nights, vacations, ect. Also, some school stuff,karate lessons and sitters. We tend to go halves on kids clothes, shoes or set a mutual limit for him to pay. I get the McDonald’s after the shopping is complete 
Note: in my culture we live by what our husband’s make, no matter how much we make. Our husband’s are conditioned to be the sole providers, and they ‘borrow’ from us if need be.
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You aren’t married, you are roommates with kids together. Couples usually have joint accounts, and the accounts that they had before the marriage. They barely use the one from before, paychecks go into the household account. You are both allowed to buy things and no one keeps track of who’s money it is. I didn’t work when I was nursing, but I could pay for diapers because he kept money in the bank. His boss took his own life leaving him unemployed, but he can buy groceries because I keep money in the bank. This is being a couple. You sound like roommates with your current situation.
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My first marriage we had joint accounts. Both of our paychecks were deposited in same account. I paid all bills with our joint money. For my second marriage my husband paid the phone bill. I paid mortgage (house was mine originally) and all other utilities. I paid all expenses relating to my two kids. He paid all expenses relating to his four kids. I bought all groceries. If we went out to eat as a family I gave him cash for me and my two kids. He paid for him and his kids. It was a mess! Luckily when we divorced I was able to prove I paid mortgage and most utilities. I was able to keep my house. Never should have married the guy.
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What’s his is mine and what’s mine is his. When I use his card hes never expected me to pay it back and view versa. Your his spouse not his roommate 
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All our money is together. His money is my money,my money is his money.
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Our bills our kids our house our responsibility our money. One account all pay goes in bills come out. We don’t fight about money and never say mine or yours. Been that way over a decade. Splitting with your partner is odd to me but I know it works for some. 
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There is no my money and his money it’s our money
So basically he pays for nothing
What? Split expenses? 
We have our money and we pay our bills and that’s it.
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Right it all out in front of him , give him more expenses so you can afford to add some to the savings
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Your married its both ur money. I’m not even married to my man and I don’t want a single dime from him for anything if I’m really really really struggling then I’ll ask him to atleast buy cat food so it’s one less stress for me, you got to realise its not ur money or his money its ur both as a couple.
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I’ve been married and had joint everything. And it was awful. He dictated what could and couldn’t be bought etc. This time we aren’t legally married (it’s just a piece of paper) we keep our money separate. He pays his vehicle notes, car ins, cell, mortgage, personal credit cards. I pay the electric, TV, my car, car ins, cell, personal credit cards and buy the groceries. He may stop off and pick up something in between trips. I may pick him up clothes etc if I’m out and see something. For vacations we split the room, I usually pay for attractions He pays for gas, and we usually always just take turns paying for meals out. If we have large house or animal expenses we split the cost. It works for us and we’ve never had any issues.
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You sound like friends not husband and wife.
Why is everything separate you are married.
Who cares who pays get over yourselves it’s pathetic
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Married 23yrs.
All checks direct deposit. All the house hold bill (Mortgage, insurance, electricity, firewood, food & farm animals feed), kids bills (medical, dental, vision, clothes, 4H, Girl Scouts, FFA & rodeo), family expenses (trucks, fuel, trailer, vet bills) are all paid. Then whatever is left over we use on ourselves. Their is no yours & mine! I will admit I lie to him & tell him we are broke so we have a little in savings…
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My husband and I have been together 12 years and have 3 kids. We split it all down the middle and don’t share an account. We may not split each individual bill in half, but we each pay half of household expenses and kids activities. If I run to the store I pay for it, if he runs he pays for it, he does pay a majority of daycare with his VA disability though. Since that is essentially an extra income for him. He makes about 30,000 more a year then I do. But i also have a small business that brings in random income as well. It works best for us, as he is not the best with money, and it saves us from a lot of fighting. He always pays his bills and puts away extra, but buys a lot of random hunting shit all the time. I do not have any interest in buying fake ducks.
When we were both working. We had a shared bank account. His money was my money. Mine, his. For the last couple years i havent worked. I have bills in my name. But he pays for them now. We didnt do an oh you pay this from your money type thing. The only thing i was responsible for is making sure my child support was paid. But he pays that now for me as well. Your SO sounds selfish. And i couldnt live with that
We don’t split bills. All of OUR money goes into a JOINT bank account and then WE have the money for bills transfer from that account to another JOINT bank account where just the bills come from. WE have a separate JOINT savings account and then anything left in the main account after bills is there if EITHER of US need or want anything. There is no his and mine because we are a couple and unified and work together as a unit. If one of us is going to make a purchase (other than groceries or petrol or something necessary) we discuss it with the other person first. But, that works for us…everyone is different…
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Mine was great he would get what he needed which wasn’t much at all then he’d give the rest to me and our daughter he didn’t care what I spent it on after bills are paid as long as I got our daughter something and I fed him he was happy.
My husband and I have have had joint checking account since we moved in together as boyfriend and girlfriend. Everything has always been paid out of that account and all entertainment. If we don’t have the money we don’t buy it.
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We have a joint account, my money is his money and vise versa…
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Joint account! We both work our money is always put together In OUR bank account, there is NO his bills or my bills they are our bills! What’s mine his his and what’s his is mine! We have been married 34 years and it’s always been this way
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My money is his and his is mine… sharing is caring
From the time my husband asked me to marry him, all of our checks got deposited into the same account and everything was our money. I think he’s being incredibly selfish
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My money is his, his money is mine. It’s literally our money for our family.
Is he the father ? If so BOO FKN HOO !! He needs to get off his high horse & take up the slack when your doing your best !!
We have a joint bank account that we both contribute to. He makes substantially more as I am a SAHM who brings in a little extra babysitting from home. All of the money is “our” money.
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Sounds like you need to sit down and have a serious talk with him. There is no my money or his money in a marriage….it’s the family money and all needs to be pooled for bills and whatever else. Now if you each want to have a budget for your spending money that’s fine but yeah you need to have some serious discussions…
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Yous split Hulu and Netflix? Wth lol
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That sounds like a roommate.
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I consider myself very lucky in this department. My SO and I have a very good system that works well for us. We both work and get paid every 2wks I’m a waitress and he works for an asphalt company. His checks are always much larger than mine so he pays our rent/phone bill/electric with his checks mine cover groceries and our payments for our rent to own stuff. My tip money I make takes care of anything we need between pay days and everything for our son we split 50/50. However we do not deny each other money either if he has it and I don’t he’ll give me anything I need and vice versa if I have it and he doesn’t. Essentially there is no his money and my money it’s our money, just like it’s our house our bills and our son that we love and support. We would never dream of asking the other to borrow or pay back money because everything is mutual as it should be in any strong relationship. Sounds to me like your husband is being selfish with the whole situation and needs to wake up and realize how relationships and marriage actually work.
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We don’t have a joint account but all of our bills are shared except the car notes. And I figure out the bills and who owes what amount based on which of us gets a bigger check
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For us everything goes in the same account, we don’t pay attention to whos is whos. Of course if there was an issue in our marriage we would be able to look back at the bank statements and see whos is whos but going on 8 years we have done just fine having everything in one shared account. We are partners, we are considerate human beings we can handle being a one income and two income household. Any and all purchases are discussed. If someone has a disagreement about finances it’s not an issue because we both have an understanding of what is needed and priority with spending. There have been times in our marriage where I was just working and paying bills, other times it was just him and then times where we both worked. We are a team, thankfully neither of us have separate debts so there wouldn’t be any dispute there. I was a stay at home mom the first three years together. And now I’ve been a stay at home mom again in the past 1.5 years. There was a time in our relationship when he was looking for a job and studying for an insurance license for 7 months and I held up the household. We just had our second child and I don’t want to miss out on anything with her, we are also planning to try for another child in 1-3 years so for now we have an understanding that I want to stay home with the kids and that I have alot of concerns about daycares and the fact that I feel immense guilt and depression about missing alot of time with our oldest from the time she was 2 to 5 years old.
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It’s not mine vs his, we are a team and all of it is OUR bills. We don’t discuss who pays what, we just pay them from our joint account.
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You lost me at you “borrow money” from your husband. Sounds like you have a roommate not a husband. Husband and wife work together as a team . Don’t get me wrong there’s nothing wrong with each of you having a little bit of your own money. But in our home we don’t divide anything. Only time I don’t spend my husband money on something or vice verse is when it comes to buying gifts for him or when he’s buying gifts for me.
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Split? well he’s always been the working one, but if I have my “own money” or if I ever choose to work it would never be split up, it would all go into our shared account that pays for everything we want or need. We would never split things or say one person has to pay for a specific thing, we are a team.
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All money that comes in the home no matter who made it belongs to both same for the children we both made them.
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All of our money goes to one account. From there we pay bills, put up savings, and split what we agree upon equally.
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Your husband isn’t a husband. Period.
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Try being married to a man who only would pay the power bill …
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Well. I guess being a stay at home mom, i have it pretty good. I just care for house and kids and my husband handles everything else (cars, bills of all sorts, groceries, clothing, holidays, birthdays and ect). Should just be a joint account and everything paid out of it and what’s left in your savings you both should be able to have a mutual opinion on what to do with whats left. Just my opinion.
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I am a sahm, we have a joint account. I basically take care of all bills, and he takes out cash for gas, lunch, etc. All of the income is technically his money, since I dont work, but he is absolutely insistent that it is our money. We are a partnership. I have free reign to use the money as I want, just as he has. The only rule is if its over a certain amount of money we discuss it with each other first (other than the bills, those darn things need paid no matter how much they are 
)
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Everything we have is ours.
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My husband and I both pool our money and pay bills from our joint account. There is no splitting his money is mine and mine is his. I never understood how people that are married have everything divided. Your in a marriage not roommates
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All income is OURS and all bills are OURS
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Wow I’m sorry your going through this first of all. However we have had joint accounts since our engagement all our money goes into 1 account we pay all our bills together and put the rest in savings. My husband has never nickeled and dimed me and always makes sure mine and kids needs are met and vise versa that’s how marriage works. You sound like room mates or divorced couple. It’s weird you split bills and the fact you have to ask him for money for your children is ridiculous or money in general. Maybe and outside person can help him understand therapy or pastor. But realistically a man is suppose to support the family. My heart goes out to you 
Fuck that, he should be paying for the kids needs! End of story, a woman should be the 1 saving money and having half her pay check left cause she always makes sure a house hold is run correctly. He must not be a pussy
We have a joint checking account and both of our paychecks are direct deposited into it.
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My BF covers rent, his phone, Philo, electric and gas on his pay weeks plus eating out. I pay for internet, my phone, car insurance, groceries, Hulu, Paramount +, Amazon Prime, registration fees. Basically anything with my kid I pay for. But my BF covered EVERYTHING for almost 5 months when I wasn’t working.
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Y’all need to sit and write out expenses and refigure them out so y’all can see who makes what and who pays what and refigure them
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I’d find a new husband.
If you have tonsplit bills, then 50/50.
We don’t split. I worked 3 jobs over the course of the first 3-4 years we were together, then he got a better paying job that made more than all of mine so now I stay home and homeschool our kids.
He brings in the money, I make sure all bills are paid, and we both do housework and care for kids.
As long as you guys give and take and keep score, nothing will ever change, and you will ALWAYS argue about money and probably everything in between.
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It blows my mind that there are married couples who don’t share income lol you have kids together, a house, vehicles, bills, but you split them?
We don’t lol no point in splitting because it all goes to the same place
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A hard NO here. I don’t have to “split” anything. We are married our bills are OUR bills. All of it goes in…all of it goes to joint expense
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50/50 if not walk away
3 accounts
Each of u put 1/3 of every check in each one
(Even if he makes more)
1/3 bills/ expenses
1/3 personal
1/3 savings
I’m glad I dont have this issue. My fiance has a separate savings as well as do I, we have a joint savings, and a joint checking. What’s his is mine what’s mine is his. He doesnt even know the bank log in info. I pay the bills with whatever funds as well as smaller things. We have never discussed who pays what. I’m lucky I guess. Hes the one currently working right now he wants me to stay home. But it’s been that way even when we both worked and we have been together 6 years now
You guys need to combine finances. There is no “my” money or “his” money. Get a joint account and all money goes in there. Pay bills out of it, and each month set up a budget where both of you guys get a certain amount of play money. Rest goes in savings. Look up Dave Ramsey on YouTube!! Y’all are married not just dating. Combine finances… DAVE RAMSEY
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Sorry what?!?!? We both work and it’s our money and our bills, our savings, and no Borrowing and paying back. Was this agreed on before marriage?
We have a joint account
Is the joint savings account actually in both your names or do you only have access to it. Be careful of that. If something went wrong in your marriage could he shut you down financially?
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My husband goes by the T.I motto. “You can have whatever you like” I rarely ever pay for anything unless it’s gifts for him or my children, sometimes food, our hair/salon appointments/lashes or anything small that I need to buy… My husband is the muthafuckn man.
And he’s hot and loyal and an amazing step father to my girls.
His bank account is his though and mine is mine. We have a shared account too but don’t touch it.
I’ve always been the bread winner in every relationship until I met my husband. Then ladies it was like a whole new world 
But I’ve been a single mom before and paid all my bills and know what it’s like to stress about moving money around. The only thing I can suggest is find a better job that pays you more than what you owe on your bills and if you need to work two jobs to make it happen do it.
I’ve been there and worked 3 jobs before until I found the one that paid for all my bills and I also cut expenses. Cooked more ate out less, bought off brand items, went to garage sales, I’d get rid of that boat if y’all want the extra money, I’d also cut out one of the cable items and just keep one like Netflix. Or Hulu. Whichever you prefer. Maybe you can see about switching phone carriers or better plans… Downsizing vehicles to get lower payments and lower insurances… Be more mindful of that electricity bill and turn those lights off before you leave the room or house ect… Instead of going to high end grocery stores clip some coupons or read the adds for meals on sale. Cut every single thing you can to make it work and it will cause less stress on the both of you. You could even downsize your house. There’s so many options it’s really simple.
This advice is coming from someone with experience moving across the country into a house and had nothing but clothes and some appliances I got from garage sales and the dollar store. Air mattress and used knives to open up canned goods until I slowly started to build my life from nothing to a house filled with everything I needed… It came with a lot of hard work and prayers and determination.
My babies didn’t even know I was ever struggling. I kept working and saving and finding great deals and never bought on impulse. The things I have now and the life we have now is something I only dreamed about before.
Instead of feeling resentful, wake up tomorrow and look at your husband with appreciation. He IS your partner and he is helping you tremendously versus you having to do it on your own. I bet you if you talked to him with love and appreciation first,
He would not only do more for you and your kids but you would do more for him and your kids.
It always gets better when you both can look with appreciation for what you have now that you didn’t have many years ago. You can always rebuild. Sometimes life can be stressful and tough. But through those times you learn lessons and come out stronger.
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My husband and I have one checking account together and that’s it. What ever bills we need to pay, comes out of that one checking account. Sounds like your husband is selfish. He wants to make sure your paying your fair share. Situations like yours, always have problems. My husband never ask me what money I have contributed to our account. It doesn’t matter. We’re one family and our money goes to the family and whatever we want to spend. I always move money over to our Money Market account every month after bills are paid. We have a pretty hefty account I must say. He needs to stop worrying about making sure your paying you fair share.
Maybe u should ask him to pick up one of ur bills cuz ur struggling with it right now from switching jobs… see how that might work out for you both
Yeah… I ain’t about that life.
We put both incomes together Pay what ever needs to be paid every month as rent phone bills car note car insurance life insurance groceries etc… etc… what ever is left over we try to save or take the kids out to have some fun that’s how it should be .
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We split all the Bill’s in half that way we share the expense
We put our money together…
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Being in my 50’s I have never understood this “my money is mine and your money is yours” mentality. When you are married you are a team. One bank account, all bills paid jointly. A few if our kids do this “separate” thing and it doesn’t seem to be working. Call me old…that’s ok…Im good with it. Lol
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Put all money together and discuss all finances and go from there. The split this and that does not work
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That’s a BIG NOPE!!!
I would add up all of your expenses you listed, and add up all of his, cause it seems like you are paying for waaay more things (I do realize that it could still be small amount in total than his share of the bills but it could also be you are paying more because of groceries registrations all the other extra expense that DEFINITELY would outweigh what he pays if unexpected costs come up
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Put all money together, gather Bill’s pay accordingly what’s left you save. If not split in half end of story.
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My husband and I have had a joint checking and saving account since I was 15 and he was 18, we’re now 48 and 50. All the bill and anything’s else was funded out of the same account. It didn’t matter who made more money, it was OUR money
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We work out all of our outgoings then pay the amount so we both have the same money leftover for ourselves after everything is paid for
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When you are married there should be no “his money and her money” it should be “our” money. With all financial decisions be joint. As a couple living together not married, either it needs to be 50%/50% or based on income, which ever you agree upon. My guy and I (not married) split it up 50%/50% we are both on disability he gets about 50% more income than I do, but we still split things 50/50 for household items and needs. If my money runs out and I need something he is more than happy to get it for me. I really think you and your husband should track your spending for a couple months and sit down and have a discussion on the best way to handle things and make them fair.
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Umm. We don’t split anything… We are a family and therefore its all together
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Your paying more then he is…and that won’t cut it with me…
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I’m old school. Everything made goes in one account. Bills come out of that account. Not quite sure what the problem is.
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Same acct - “our” money …works for us and doesn’t matter who brings in more
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There isn’t any “my money his money” it’s OUR money.
It’s our bills, our kids, our groceries……
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My husband pays the mortgage and the house/ his truck insurance. I pay the other household bills, my phone, car& insurance and credit cards. He doesn’t understand where my money goes but I do have access to transfer or use a card to his account if needed. Until next month , he makes more than me, so I’m allowed to spend a certain amount from his account. I buy our daughter clothes and stuff like that. ( i may buy too much for her) Who ever has the money for groceries and every day items pays for it. He makes comments about how much I spend sometimes but men don’t realize the cost of house hold items, skincare or personal items, gifts for parties, diapers/ wipes, etc. I also travel a lot for my job so gas is killing me. I think joint access to 1 or both accounts is best (at least for us). 
We figured out what percentage each of us contributed and divided stuff up. He didn’t trust me with “our” money for some reason, so we abandoned having a joint account. It wasn’t worth divorcing over arguing about joint money, so he paid the mortgage (live in an expensive area), I paid for the rest (utilities, groceries, HOA fees, a little entertainment). He’d occasionally pay for us to eat out, I’d pay for anniversaries & birthdays, as they were important to me, he’d pay half of the few vacations we took.
He paid for cable because I could care less about TV. We each paid our car expenses, clothes, health insurance, and discussed major furniture expenses which we usually both contributed to. He contributed to one of my IRAs and said he was saving for retirement; we handled our own investments, filed taxes jointly.
He got an inheritance which he kept all of it, but used it to get a Masters Degree which helped him earn more to support the family.
After 20 years I wasn’t happy and we divorced. I kept the (paid for) house, he took the money, which came out pretty close to equal. He kept his Navy pension as he got out before we were married.
All money into one account and all comes out of there
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