I’m a SAHM while my husband works. I have no access to money because it’s his money. I usually get money once a year (near tax time). I’m sorry you are going through this and I sincerely hope it gets better for you. 
hugs and prayers.
15 Likes
If you don’t have a joint account, then you should be splitting the bills proportionate to your incomes. If he earns considerably more money, then he should pay considerably more bills, not putting it into his individual savings account! He is nickel and diming you, while taking care of himself!
3 Likes
We share an account and we don’t split anything. We use what we need to for bills/food and use the rest on whatever we want/need. There is no “my money is my money and yours is yours”
It’s OUR money.
9 Likes
This is why im single and do everything alone…what a headache!!
7 Likes
When we got married we got a joint bank account and both of our checks get deposited there. It’s not my money and his money it’s our money for our household.
2 Likes
Wtf … this sounds crazy & super complicated.
4 Likes
It shouldn’t be that complicated
2 Likes
All the money we get between us is ours. We discuss what it’s spent on and do it together. What’s left over goes into savings or pays off a big chunk of the credit card. We are a team no his money and my money, our home, our money, our family, we work together. Also if you have nothing left and need him to buy stuff for the baby and he lectures you about money and refuses should you really have had a baby with this asshole who’s refusing to step up and pay for being a daddy. Remind him if you leave you get half of everything you own and a good chunk of child support so he should be grateful for how much you do and support your family a little more!
Our paychecks go into a joint account and all bills are paid from there. We each get fun money with every check but both of us get the same amount regardless of the fact that he makes 2x what I do.
I’m shocked by this and some of the comments. And that is why you get a man that LOVES you and was raised right 🤷. When we were dating (first 5-6 months) we had separate accounts and whatever. After we moved in together it became a joint account Our money, our bills ext. I pay all the bills, we both put the money there. I do all the shopping but it’s our money. And he always asks to see what we have in the bank and what we have to spend (outside bills) before spending anything
2 Likes
God I can’t believe some things I’m readings from some couples, so sad 
, me and my husband wages/money all goes into joint Acc, all bills paid from it, we don’t split what’s his us money n what’s mine is his, doesn’t matter what each he bring in bills paid, things for kids etc n whatever money we both need we take, iv worked, then was SAHM even then when I had no wage all his money still went into the joint Acc, I usually make sure all bills r paid once pay day comes n the rest if just left for when needed,?it’s our money not his or hers, we have 3 kids n nine us ever gave to ask to spend, x
1 Like
Rediculous, that’s not a marriage or a family. Take care of each other
Everything isn’t always 50/50 if you’re low on funds and he has the ability to pay a little more then he should do that.
2 Likes
It’s our money, currently I’m the only one working but that changes nothing,
Our money.
The idea of having separate bank accounts and splitting bills is so odd to me
1 Like
My husband and I have been married 16 years. We have 3 children. Most of those years I have been a SAHM. We have ALWAYS had a joint checking/savings account. We discuss the bills and spending money. We check with each other before big expenses and discuss if we can afford it, need to save for it or it just isn’t doable right now. We both have access to the bank account and neither say anything about the others spending, except occasional jokes about my spending in excess for holidays. Money is one of, if not the biggest cause for divorce. Both need to be on the same page. Marriage is about a partnership, communication and compromise. This doesn’t sound right and I wouldn’t be able to live this way.
5 Likes
Once your married you become one and you are equal so whats yall have is yalls together
1 Like
We both have seperate accounts but both wages contribute to bills etc, some goes to savings then whats left is split in half for our own pockets
We’ve had separate accounts since day one. And one joint savings. He pays the for the house, his car, and credit card. I pay for utilities, insurance, my car, groceries and anything else we may need. If I run short I just ask him to send me money 
work for us
Our checks go into the same account and combined. All bills are paid from that account. It’s not about who pays more for this bill or more for this or that. The money is both of ours. He left his job so he could put 100% effort into our business. I left my job for a better job. Our checking account was overdrawn a couple weeks ago cause he had 2 loans come out when my check hadn’t went in. Neither of us complained. But now we’re out of the hole and I’m going grocery shopping later today. Our bills are paid. What money goes into the account is for both of us and not just one. When I was a sahm he made sure bills got paid and if I needed money, he never had a problem with me taking any out. And he never expects me to pay it back.
But if you borrowed from y’all’s savings, that’s kinda like taking a loan out. He asked you to put more back than what you took out which is like having interest on the loan. If I borrow money from anyone or anywhere, I always pay extra. It’s kinda no different than our house or vehicle payment, there’s interest on both.
We don’t split. Any and all money is ours. I make sure everything gets paid, and groceries are bought. If he needs something, he tells me and I get it. If I need something, I get it, will tell him, and he’ll just tell me there’s no need to explain. And on we go. This sounds so toxic.you need to have a discussion with him and get it sorted before it goes any further
1 Like
sounds like a mess. sit him down combine the finances, after paying the finances spilt what’s left evenly
1 Like
We have separate accounts and one joint for like baby stuff. He pays his bills plus mortgage, I pay my bills plus utilities. He makes more than me so if I need money he will give me some. When I have extra money if he has meds at the pharmacy I will buy those. We usually take turns with groceries or whoever has more money in their account
1 Like
My husband pays all the bills! He won’t let me pay anything so when I get paid I just send him money through zell
1 Like
Nope y’all to set down and change it to 50/50 for everything
Yikes. Thats not right. You both need to share and do things together as yall are married. There’s no mine or yours it’s ours. And for him to say things like this it’s mind boggling that even with the union of marriage some people still don’t get it.
2 Likes
The only fair way to do it is to have a joint account, put an equal percentage of pay in to that account every pay day, have separate savings, and pay all the bills out of the joint account.
Would make more sense for a joint account for bills to come out of, anything personal pay out of your own pocket
I paid for the house, the land, the car, and the new appliances fully with my cash and set us up to have the absolute bare min bills as far as bills go. So he’s the one that holds down a job and pays the monthly bills.
My fiancé and I have a joint account. I do believe if it’s for the children it shouldn’t matter who pays for it esp. if he easily has it in his savings. Feel like he’s being unfair & putting unneeded stress on you. It would be different if it were a personal shopping trip for yourself but the kids always come first and y’all are a team!
4 Likes
Combined account is our way .We share everything. Been doing it for 34 years.
We don’t split. Both paychecks go into a combined checking/savings acct and all bills paid from there. He gets an “allowance” and we communicate what we are spending money on. My husband has always had extreme anxiety around money management so I handle all the finances and I just make sure he knows what I’m doing and when we have money for projects and when things are tight. We both make about the same amount of money.
8 Likes
Take ALL EXPENSES… tally them up and split 50/50. Budget in there the food, the diapers, the formula…EVERYTHING…
We have a joint account and the money he makes is ours. The money I make is ours. We communicate with each other about budget and spending a few days before payday.
How do couples live like this,put your money together,pay all bills and expenses.Put some what you can in the pocket for unforeseen weekly or bi-weekly needs and bank the rest.
2 Likes
Sounds like y’all are both so disciplined, I don’t see why y’all don’t just have joint everything and not act like it is borrowing from mom and dad that has to be paid back. Usually people only split things up when one is not disciplined and risks making to account bad for both. At least from what I’ve seen. I’ve never understand married couples not sharing and both paying this and that. Especially when like in you’re case there’s really no way to keep up with who is paying more. It should all go together and everything paid out of one account. If you want to keep separate accounts where a portion of your check goes every check like an allowance, OK. But, the rest in the joint checking that all the bills are paid out of. And no more paying back nonsense. Y’all are grown adults who are married. You’re not borrowing, you’re living your life together.
My hubs and I did 50/50 and I made soooo much less and every week I had nothing left. Sooo I quit my job we combined finances and then he realized the unfairness of our situation…
1 Like
That would never fly in my house…. We both work… we each get a certain amount from each check (the same amount) for spending money then we transfer the rest into a joint account… we save together and spend together. We are a team.
3 Likes
Make a list of what you pay and what he pays hand him it and ask him does he think its normal for you to be paying what you do already let alone paying more! Yous are suppose to be a team yes he’s contributing to the house his own car whatever but does he not realise the cost of the extras you have to pay out yourself.
We have a joint account. What’s his is mine. What’s mine is his. We pay the bills together from the account. I’m not responsible for a certain bill as he’s not. They all get paid from what’s in the account.
3 Likes
We both work
I pay my phone and our car insurance
I spend a lot on our ( my kids his step kids)
He pays the rest
If I have money to add to savings I do
If I’m broke I ask for money
No tabs kept ever but I do try and pay him back if I ask for money. He never asks for it.
We have a joint account and split everything. We discuss big purchases and any extra goes to savings.
Everything went into one account. Paid all bills and living expenses. He didn’t spend a lot of money, but made sure he had a $20 for his wallet.
if you;re in a good marriage the expenses should be split.
The bill are ours. The account is ours. We both work and all the bills get paid from one account. We are married there is no his and mine. It is ours.
11 Likes
He pays for the rent, hydro and half of the heating oil, his car and insurance.
I pay for all things related to our son (since the childcare benefit is deposited into my account.) Half of the heating oil, groceries, toiletries and other household expenses.
I definitely would not be paying him back. Why are you paying just about everything while he gets to put his money into savings? Honestly, he doesn’t sound like a decent human being at all. I’d reevaluate the entire relationship.
1 Like
Never done this. We have the same checking and we pay as the bills come. His money is my money and my money is my money🤣 we don’t “split” bills or “borrow” money. That’s crazy
17 Likes
Married couples should not split bills like roommates.
It’s our money. Our house. Our cars. Our kids etc.
All income goes in one account. All bills come out of one account. We budget monthly together.
12 Likes
My husband and I use the if you got you pay it if I got it I pay it method we don’t ever look at it like you pay this I pay that only the bills need paid groceries need bought so it who ever just got paid pretty much since we get paid opposite weeks
My husband and I let everything go to a joint account which bills get paid from. We’re married so we both contribute. Everything isn’t gonna be 50/50 all the time. If he’s gonna argue over money yall need so.sit down and have a conversation
1 Like
Money should go together always,u work together
You split bills with roommates and boyfriend/girlfriend. When you’re married should be as one. He sounds like a winner
1 Like
All our money goes into the same account and I take care of bills then we spend within reason a small allotment of ourselves and the rest stays for autodrafts.
2 Likes
Tell him to stick his money up his ass
I can’t relate to this. My husband and I have a personal account our pay goes into, we keep $50 per pay week each, the rest goes into the join accounts to cover all the bills and if there’s anything left then it goes to savings.
If I wasn’t working my husband would still cover everything. It would be the same if he wasn’t working. There’s no borrowing. There’s no paying back.
8 Likes
I’m feeling that it’s very sad that a couple , a family has to talk about splitting payments I’ll pay this you pay that I’ll pay for this kid but you pay for the other one
My wife and I have a joint account for over 18 years now never had a issue with it. We talk about the bills and how much to pay on them my wife takes care of the account and if we want something big we discuss it before we buy.
1 Like
If you’re married. Joint account. Expenses come out of this account there is no “yours” and “mine”.
4 Likes
Financial paying /splits need to be a ratio if one makes less than another , btw ur married it’s all the same money hubby , that said cheaper to give u a few dollars than child support, and yes seems extreme but that is what can happen when not a team 
he is able to save and you need to borrow , that is a problem, good luck
2 Likes
Spilt EVERYTHING down the middle. My husband and I do it and it works for us.
What? You’re married and splitting bills?
My husband and I work as a team and have a budget we stick to. There is no his or mine.
My husband and I have separate bank accounts but only because neither of us wants to switch banks. My husband pays mortgage, utilities, and his regular things like car, insurance, credit cards. I pay internet, my car, insurance, things for the kids but if I say “hey, I don’t have any money” he gives me money and if he says “hey, I don’t have any money” I give him money. No one owes any one anything back because everything in the house is ours.
You seem to pay at least the same amount as he does a month. If he’s making that much more than you something else needs to be done. Withholding money is a form of abuse and while you make money, he seems to make a lot more. He’s okay with you struggling with your money and that’s not okay.
1 Like
It’s obviously not working for either of you. If you’re paying for yourself you might as will be paying for yourself on your own. I can’t even relate to this. It’s supposed to be teamwork.
We have a joint account that all our money goes into. We pay bills and everything and we buy what we want within reason and talk about bigger purchases first. We are married btw.
1 Like
Is not his or my money. Is our money. Pay bills, get what need, still our money.
1 Like
We pay “OUR” bills with our money. We are a team. We aren’t just roommates.
1 Like
When i did work, we didn’t split bills. Money went into one account and money came out that same account
My husband and i both get paid biweekly. On opposite weeks! So whatever bill is due whoever gets paid that week pays for it. We are both “our money” type of ppl. Never split anything
We put it together and just inform the other when we buy something
If not looking into a joint account- maybe the answer is percentage. 10 % from each goes into savings- and so forth.
We split everything down the middle. He has his car, phone etc… as do I. There is two bills that I take on that are equivalent to one of the bills he takes. We take turns on food and eating out. If he wants to eat out he pays and vise versa. I hate discussing money with a passion… it’s the number one reason for divorce… we don’t talk about it. We have savings we both have to agree if we need to use it for a big expense, otherwise we don’t talk about it. We went into our marriage financially independent and agreed to keep things separate except our bills. If I want to shop I’m not going to ask my husband permission or for money. If one of us needs something or needs to contribute more one week or month we do but we pay it back because we both have things we want to buy or have been saving for that sometimes we need to barrow from but besides that everything is down the middle.
2 Likes
Are you kidding me???what happened to this worlds generations???married lpeople back in my day put all the income in one bank account and agreed on everything spent…the rest went into saving for future…never was there hers or mine!!! So sad you supposed to love one another but you don’t have trust…time to see what is true love…
3 Likes
Both our paychecks go in joint account. Pay bills and then it’s gone anyway so we don’t even have to worry what we would do with extra
Our pay checks go into OUR checking account, all bills are paid with our money.
We have a savings for us and kids, every pay day $XX gets put into savings.
A few days before pay day (we get paid on the same day) i go through what’s due/coming out for next two weeks- show him and that’s how we spend OUR money.
If it is that big of a concern maybe go to counseling for it.
1 Like
We don’t, it’s our money. All of our money goes into one account and everything is paid like that.
1 Like
It’s all our money but mainly my husbands earnings. My earnings are much less then his.
My husband transfers his whole wage to me and I’m in charge of paying all bills for the both of us & in charge of putting away savings if there is any after paying all bills, food etc
1 Like
I mean do whatever works for you but to me “splitting” bills is being roommates. We have a joint account and a budget
4 Likes
We don’t owe each other anything…ever. we’re married. Its all “ours”. We have separate accounts though,
That being said certain bills are set up to take out of our accounts.
He gets rent mostly. And the car payments for both of our cars. And electricity. Oh! And the health insurance and stuff come out of his check.
I do the car insurance, the internet, our smaller things like Spotify, prime etc. I also do our phone cards for mine and my 16 yr olds phones. He usually gets his own but sometimes we both need help in this. I also get the bulk of the groceries and household items, clothes if the kids need it.
He works more than I do. We have 3 kids and I’m 22 weeks pregnant.
But! There is no yours/mine. If he needs money, I give it to him if I have it and vice versa.
1 Like
Joint account. Direct deposit. So we always know what we got going in and what was spent on what
When my husband and I first met, he didn’t have any bank accounts. I set it up so we had a bills account, a savings account, and he and I each got our own spending accounts. We each got $50 a week for miscellaneous spending. The rest I distributed where needed. We decided it didn’t matter who paid the bill, as long as it was paid promptly.
Our $ goes into a joint account for bills. His $ is my $ and vice versa, we both help eachother earn it 
5 Likes
It’s our money. We both pay all the bills. Nothing gets split between us.
2 Likes
I don’t know about you, but whether I was married or not, all incomes went into one checking account and all bills were paid out of that one checking account. Doesn’t sound like you have much of a relationship if you are already arguing over money. It isn’t going to get better. Get out now!
2 Likes
When I worked we just put all money in 1 account and both have debit card. We don’t care whose check paid the bills as long as the bills are getting paid. We r married now and I’m a sahm so he pays all the bills.
Always been our money since we were dating
Call me old fashion, but I’ve been married for 40 years and never worked to pay bill’s. If I did have a job when the kid’s were still living at home. The money went towards extra thing’s the kid’s wanted or stuff for us as a family. Mostly a stay at home mom with a weekend job for extra money, even when my youngest Daughter was old enough for me to take a job with a good paying company and start a career it was just considered our money. At this point I was making the same as him if not more. We saved as much as possible and I bought my own dream business. I would never split bills with someone I’m married to that’s for friends and roommates not husband and wife. Whatever we have earned is our’s equally…
4 Likes
I’ve always found it odd when couples, especially married couples, split expenses and have their own money.
Don’t get me wrong, to each their own and everyone has something that works for them.
I grew up with my dad as a welder, making great money, and my mom waitressing. Dads check paid for the big expenses and moms pay covered daily needs like toilet paper, groceries, gas etc. But they never “borrowed” from one another or “owed” one another.
My husband and I both work full time. He makes a few dollars more an hour than I do and sometimes has prevailing wage jobs. He’s paid weekly, I’m paid biweekly. Every time one or both of our checks hit the bank, we go over, together, what needs to be paid and pay it. Then we go over what each of us need for the week and take care of that. Money left over is money left over in our joint account.
I’ve never understood how you can pledge to spend your life with someone and then keep your own “safety net”. And yes, I understand that sometimes it doesn’t work out, but if you’re going into your marriage thinking that, you shouldn’t get married and if you’re in a marriage and thinking like that, you probably shouldn’t be in that marriage.
4 Likes
Husband gives me all his money and of course I have the responsibility to make sure everything is paid.
2 Likes
Our money all goes into one account and we pay bills with that account. If we want or need to buy something it comes from that account. If we spend over a certain amount we run it by the other person.
My husband and I split everything down the middle.
We added up everything in the house bills (mortgage, electric, phones, oil, etc.) And then split the total in half.
We pay for our own cars.
Stuff for the kids is split.
We do not share a bank account.
Whats left over is our own, if either of us is running short we just help the other one.
No big deal.
Works very well for us
If you are going to live like roommates you might as well just be them
1 Like
Lawd lady honestly. Let me tell you, with my SO he had demanded 50/50 everything when we first got a place together and I agreed. We both had full time jobs and a child so it worked until I was the one staying up with our son and caring for him , the only one cleaning and the only one cooking. At that point It no longer was 50/50. He paid half the bills but I did literally everything else. So I told him, either he starts doing 50/50 housework and child caring then I’m no longer paying 50/50 on bills. Well he didn’t believe me until I made it a point to only pay part of something and he was forced to pay the rest. At that point he was mad and then actually decided to do some stuff. It wasn’t nearly enough but I welcomed it because it wasn’t just me, fast forward to now he wants 50/50 again. I agreed as he was doing house and child stuff too, but as soon as I switched over to 50/50 again he stopped. That among other things made me leave him. We were separated about 6 months and then I decided to give him a second chance after a lot of begging and promises of doing better. So we got back together and it was okay for a few months and then back to me paying half everything and doing everything else by myself again. While he paid 50% bills and played video games and played with our son and all over lounged around and did nothing. One day he told me “well if SOMEONE did laundry I’d have clean boxers” so I stopped doing his laundry all together and he came home one day and said “I dont see a big deal in coming home to a hot meal ready on the table especially if you don’t work or get out before me” and yet I didn’t get the same respect at all. New house together and he was paying car insurance and the car payment, loans and credit cards and half monthly rent and some baby and food stuff, I was paying half rent, gas, electric, renters insurance, internet and some baby and food stuff plus my credit cards and loan. He paid off the car so that was one less bill but on top of everything I had to pay I was still doing all cooking cleaning and 90% child raising. Well he got himself a shiny new pick up so now he was paying insurance on two vehicles and one car payment and magically he couldn’t pay as much towards food and baby stuff so ofc I had to make that difference up. But not anymore, on top of medical issues with new baby and the fact im literally paying almost all home costs myself I had enough, if I was paying it all anyways and taking care of it all anyways might as well do it myself and moving into my own house with both kids in a few days. Ofc hes sad mad angry upset etc because of this and begged for another chance but I already gave him a second chance and im not giving anymore. Seriously lady if you are paying it all anyways especially if you do all house work etc. Might as well cut your loss, lose that 200 lbs and move on with your life. What he is doing is financial abuse and it is STILL abuse, you should leave him anyways regardless. He sounds abusive and controlling and you don’t deserve that. I dont either and im leaving with my kids and not looking back.
Joint account… our money pays for everything. He makes double what I do and I’ve only been working for 2 years out of our 16 years together. Money has never been a mine or his issue BUT he likes me being a full time mom vs me working. I am only working because my son needed a CNA so I became his so technically I still work at home.
1 Like
We don’t have our “own” money. My money+his money = Our money. Our money goes into our checking account. Our bills are paid, our groceries and our childrens needs/expenses come from that account. At the end of the month we take the leftover money and split it in half. Half of our leftover money goes into our savings. The other half of the money we split as our individual spending money.
3 Likes
We each have our own account and a joint account. My husband’s paycheck goes into his account and I handle all the bills. I have access to his personal account to transfer what needs to be paid and when to the joint, my personal, or leave it in his depending on bill and which account it is drafted from. Even though he is the bread winner, he has always made sure I have access to his account for anything our family needs. We have never “split” bills since being married. When we first moved in together (before we were married and had more kids) and both worked we would add up the total cost of everything and split it. The only thing I did not allow him to split was the daycare since at the time they were not his children and I was not comfortable with someone else paying my sitter. Once we were married it was a joint account and all money was put into it then distributed to accounts according to what bill and when…
1 Like
First of all congrats on having a responsible husband. After 9 yrs mine is just now learning responsibility lol. We have two accounts mine and ours. His check goes into ours and he uses that account for everyday spending and a few bills. My check goes into mine. Most bills are paid from mine. I can easily transfer money in between. He always makes sure we have enough before he makes big purchases. We don’t have a lot of bills but do occasionally live paycheck to paycheck. I handle how the money is handled for the most part. We talk about all big purchases before they happen though. This works for us. We are both in recovery and its just easier for him to pretend we are broke all the time.
1 Like
I’m not married. But my boyfriend pays the utilities and owns the house (which was his and I moved in). And I pay my own car insurance and payment, and my phone and buy the food and necessities.
My husband’s pay check always went into our joint checking account and his bonus checks went into his horse account . I was a stay at home mom until the kids were in school and I went to work. He had me have my own account and had me get a credit card in my name to establish my credit. He never let me use my money for living expenses. We used it when we had 3 boys in school sports and when we went to out of town activities. It worked out fine for us.
I am not bragging but I am one lucky lady. 34 years in July and the only expense for me is to keep groceries in the house. That is what he said on day one and has not asked for a penny more. I once paid a light bill, and he gave me a check when he figured out what i had done. I am lucky and i know it. I do agree with add everything up and split it 50-50.
3 Likes
What… that’s just… no. No. Y’all are married, not roommates. And y’all aren’t running a freaking bank. A marriage is 50/50 that includes money. My SO and I have had a joint account within a month of us being together 8 years ago. My money is his money and his money is my money. There is no “that’s mine, you owe me x amount.” He is not a banker.
8 Likes