How do you deal with toddler tantrums?

You should speak to his pediatrician and have him evaluated. Perhaps he needs occupational therapy. Early intervention is best!

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Spank him real good or one time grab his arm sternly and look at him in the eyes and tell him very seriously I am your mother and you do not talk to me like that. And punish your kid I don’t understand how parents let this happen I really dont…

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By no means would hitting him make this any better for him!

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I mean, he only knows what he hears. Not being rude, but he wouldn’t know how to use those words if he wasnt hearing them. Kids do not do as you say they do as you do.

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Switch is what I mean to say lol I used this on my kids and believe it or not it doesn’t kill them and they learn some respect good luck sweetie

Have you considered taking Red #40 out completely? It may take a while to notice but you would be AMAZED at the difference. That stuff affects kids horribly

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He had to have learned it from someone. Spank his ass for one. Or next he will be spanking you and calling you bitch

Go to, the health food store and buy some Gaba. My daugter got this for for my grandson It made a world of difference. Other than that just walk away completely ignore him. He is getting a reaction just what he wants. Myself I would spank him but………

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Vitamin belt, that’s insane. Every time he hits or cuss’s I’d paint his back porch red, every single time. Forget that. You better do it now before you end up on Dr phill getting slapped by your own kid.

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He’s learned that behaviour…and language

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People saying wash his mouth out with soap are ametures. My mom used to use the HOTTEST hot sauce out there. She burned the shit out of my mouth as punishment. Fuckin soap. Pft. I wish.

Get a referral to a psychiatrist for a complete assessment. Good luck :four_leaf_clover:

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God gave you that hand and its made to spank the childs behind!!!

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Does he nap during the day? My 3 year old boy was the exact same way… he would have major melt downs, kicking and screaming and throwing things. I couldn’t take it anymore so everyday at noon i started putting him in the room and shut the door and made him nap. The first week he would scream until he finally fell asleep. But now he’s ready for a nap everyday at noon. And his whole behavior has changed. His meltdowns and far and few compared to before his mid day naps. Also when he’s having a meltdown over little things i will ignore the tantrum and play with him… get his mind off what he’s mad about ( for example he wants something he can’t have) i will start to tickle him and say im the tickle monster to distract him from the tantrum and get his attention than when i have his attention i will be like let’s go play with this or that. Usually it works and he will focus on what i suggested he do

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First off where did he hear the words he’s using on you. I would look in your own home first. At 3 the words and actions are comming from near by . And stop calling him bad.

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What you should do is ask him why he does what he does? You know it’s better to ask them questions because it helps them deal with their problems.

Where is he learning that language?? He’s seeing something he should not be seeing and lashing out. Counseling ASAP

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Therapy services. Play therapy does wonders for kids. They could also help identify if there are bigger issues at work

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Cut out whoever he’s learning this language and behavior from. Those are learned behaviors. You can’t be mad at him for being a toddler and soaking up the environment around him.

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I know it’s hard but maybe having him tested for different disabilities is an order

A good spanking and wash that filthy mouth out with soap. That fixed the problem with me when i was a kid. Then figure out where he’s learned that all from and do the same to them before cutting them out of the kid’s life. I’ll be damned if my kid spoke to me like that without serious punishment.

Strip his room of toys. Pretend to put them in the garbage. Time outs. You have to do things that will hurt his feeling so he knows you mean no. Hes 3 he doesnt understand words and reasoning. You need to control this now before school. If you refuse to be a bitch to him them it’s all on you.

I study behavior for a living and working in the as a behavior therapist. You first must determine the function of the behavior. There are four functions of behavior; Escape, Attention, Sensory or Tangible. So when he has these problematic behaviors are you able to determine what he is trying to get out of his behavior. I will give an example. If he is trying to get your attention, say you are on the phone and he starts to act up, you then get off the phone and give him the attention that he wanted so you have inadvertently taught him that when he displays these problematic behaviors he will get the attention he wants so these behaviors even though they seem maladaptive to us they are working for him. Another example, say you ask him to do something or place a demand on him, he displays these behaviors and you do not follow through with the demand or what you have asked him to do, then you have just inadvertently taught him that when I display these behaviors then I will get out of something that I do not want to do. An example for Tangible is, a tangible is any item you can hold. So let’s say a toy. You are in a toy store he begins to display these behaviors then you want this to stop so you give him the toy again you have just inadvertently taught him that when I do this I get what I want. Sensory is a bit more complicated but can be addressed but without seeing what is going on for myself I cannot give you strategies to address the behaviors. Does this make sense?

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Be the parent for once and tan that hyde

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I used time out high chair. The kind that set on chair but put on floor. This way they can’t escape. You gotta nip it now or your life will be hard when school starts. My dad used soap for my mouth it worked.

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Where is a 3 year old learning to talk like that? Sounds like maybe you should take a look at where he’s seeing this behavior before calling him a bad kid. He is only 3.

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Do more than just say no. I paint on my crazy momma face, grab my son by the arm, put a finger in his face and say “we don’t hit Mommy!” As STERNLY as I possible can so he knows I mean business…if that doesnt prevail, a pat on the butt, and a timeout. Then cuddles, and talking about WHY he got the spanking and how he can do better next time. And to TALK to me and tell me what he needs.

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Ok so everyone cusses around their kids. I get where he might hear the language.
What you have is a bonafide asshole toddler. I would recommend to put the fear of god in that child BUT he’s only three. Something is wrong. He needs therapy to assess where the anger is coming from. It seems deep. What’s the backstory here (if any)

Lol, send him to my momma’s for the weekend…he will come back with, I’m sorry mommy and yes mamma and no mamma, yes sir and no sir, thank you, please…for real.

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That potty mouth is definitely a learned behavior so I would definitely strongly suggest whoever’s talkin that way to work on that for one for two she probably needs to be challenged more physically or mentally find something that you can do to expend some of that energy

Do his ears get hot and red while acting out? If so thats sensory overloading. Cut down tv time majorly, no ipads or phones either… we cut out most dairy and red dye as well. Schedule an appointment with your pediatrician for an adhd evaluation, or ask them for a referral to a behavioral therapist. Also maybe schedule yourself an appt with a therapist so you can talk about this with someone because I’m sure you get upset and feel at the end of your rope, but he can sense that and they can help you. Also, occupational therapy works wonders with kids, ours helped me change my habit of asking my son things or giving him choices, into telling him what we’re doing. Strict schedules help alot too. I hope this helps and your situation improves! Stay strong mama!

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He is being a toddler my two year old who’s almost three years the exact same way and mine also had a potty mouth which is something that me and my husband had to work on very hard he still cusses on occasion but we just ignore it and do not engage with him when he is acting that way

Where does he hear those words? A problem there. Pick him up and set him in time out chair or out him in his room. Hes heard those words, he just didn’t come up with them at age 3. That’s one of your problems.

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Praying for you momma!!!

Bust that kids ass. Sometimes telling a child no or talking to them just don’t cut it. And no I don’t mean beat him just give him a good old fashioned spanking.

Soap in the mouth does wonders

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You gotta cut put whose calling you the same name and treating you the same way. Kids dont just know those words and act like that. Its learn behavior. Dont let anyone disrespect you like that in front of the kids. He’s not being bad all kids throw a fit I have to make them take naps and try to spend time and play with him kids act out to get attention even if it’s negative

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Yeah the kids learning those words somewhere

A pop in the mouth will do a quick job. You obviously let him walk all over you. That’s unacceptable. You need to put your foot down.

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First off where is he picking up the bad words from? Second try ice cold water in his face when throwing the fits…it won’t hurt him and I guarantee he stops! When he calls you out your name ,that’s easy soap in his mouth or a quick little slap to his jaws…once again this won’t hurt him! You have to be consistent though…don’t give in or give up! You show him who is BOSS and to RESPECT his mother! !!!

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Take everything artificial away from him. Nothing processed. Check
all labels if it’s artificial don’t give it to him. If the package has any color don’t give it to him. Am start cooking naturally for him. Cut bake on sweets that is artificial as well. He’s probably ADHD and try the Feindgold diet. They do learn from seeing others actions and others language. And most think its cute. I didn’t have those problems till he went to school an was placed in Ritalin and it worked opposite it made him real aggressive and he was ruined after that. Be stearn an don’t do anything that will end up losing your child for. Its easier then you think. At 3 don’t show a reaction to those really bad words just ask what it means an if you don’t know maybe we shouldn’t use them.

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Bhavnasingh Soobul Mehreen Sakhabuth lire sa post ek ban comments,

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A 3 year is definitely hearing those words from someone… kids only repeat what they see and hear. Make him sit in time-out and take things away from him. He don’t need a therapist, he’s 3, he needs tough love

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Ok I’ll be the bad one you are his mother he owes you respect! Whoop his butt it’s better now while you can then later

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My son through a tantrum on me so I did the same to him he never did it again good luck

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Put him up for adoption… Just kidding. Spank his butt.

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Where the hell is he learning that language???!! SMH.

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My son was this way. From about 3 to when I moved out of my mothers. When he was 5. The cuss words and tantrums. They stopped when I moved out and we got a place of our own.

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Needs an ass whoopen.

Do parents not smack their kids anymore!? I’m not for abusing children by any means but I will be damned if I’m looking on fb for advice because my 3 yr old called me a bitch! Use that hand that the good lord gave ya! He will learn.

Beat his ass 🤷 clearly he doesn’t know you are his authority…

  1. He wasn’t born with that vocabulary so whomever is taking care of him or wherever he is learning that from needs to be addressed.
  2. Need to be firm with him about limits NOW. Imagine he is just 3 what will he do when he is a little older.
  3. No tv and no electronics will help.
  4. More playing outside.

You need to find someone who can guide you ASAP before it’s too late. Need to change behaviors.

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Mouthing off like that got us (my brother, myself and sister) a drop of soap on our tongues as kids. Or raked the bar soap onto a tooth if dish soap wasn’t handy. No matter our age.
Take all of his toys and privileges away. Let him know he’ll get it back upon better behaviour and maintained manners. I took my son’s door off of his hinges when he started slamming it and screaming how he hated me. He was five then, and he learned pretty quickly. No toys and no door makes it a pretty stark reality. Next step is to take him to a doctor if that doesn’t work, cause by then it would seem like medical attention might be needed.
Good luck!

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Where in the world is he picking up his language from? No way a 3 year old would say that if he isn’t around someone who says it.

You’re the momma. You need to put your foot down and not let him get away with it.

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Tbh our kid would get a boot up the ass for speaking that way. :woman_shrugging: he won’t do it again I tell ya that much.

If I can be honest I used to put hot sauce in my son’s mouth when he’d say nasty things. It’s not going to kill him. 🤷 It’s just spicy and he hated it. But it worked. He didn’t do it really after the first 3 times.

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Where is he learning that language ?

Time out… make him stand in the corner and take away his favorite stuff until he quits throwing a fit… crying… and all that… didn’t take my son long to learn he will stand in a corner

I’m just saying, I have a 3, 4 and 5 year old and none of them have ever talked to me in that manner, so it’s definitely not a toddler thing. Trust me, my kids have heard about every word in the book. My four year old however, does have issues with lashing out hitting biting and spitting. Maybe look at home life, mine started acting out when their father and I split up. He has two happy homes, but he prefers one happy home with both parents, he doesn’t like the back and forth.

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He needs anger management, and therapy. Possibly a psychiatrist. My grandson was diagnosed with Bipolar at a very young age. As a teen they changed it to ODD as he grows older it is getting less and less and he has learned to handle his behaviors.

Your child at this age is literally a sponge - he is soaking up EVERYTHING he is learning from others! Find that source and remove it. This child is 3 years old if you do absolutely nothing and allow this to continue it is only going to get worse. Put him in a room to throw his tantrum do not give him an audience.

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I am disgusted with all the violent remarks ,yes hes learning this from someone else and isnt acceptable behavior ,but to show him violence as alot has suggested by hitting him in the mouth SERIOUSLY WTH ARE U TEACHING HIM NOW ,how to show more aggression ,u dont ever use violent behavior when disaplining a child ever …

You’re the parent, you need to lock this shit down right now, or you’ll have hell to pay later, in the form of fighting, school suspensions, problems with authority, etc, th hat will haunt you and your son for the rest of his days. You need to crack down on him TODAY.

To begin with, set him down, give him a hug and tell him that you love him.
Then, the very next time he screws up, give him a good old fashioned ass whoopin’,
Now, keep in mind the kid is only 3, don’t beat him like he owes you money, but some corporal punishment is definitely neccessary to get his attention.
Next, follow up with a real Come To Jesus Meeting about why he just got his butt beat.
Next, let him know there’s a new sheriff in town that straight up isn’t going to put with his shit anymore. The days if him acting like a little ashole are done and that ship has sailed.
Next, lay down some serious rules and make sure that he clearly understands that if violates ANY of the rules in ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM, there will be serious consequences.
There will be crying and screaming. Too bad. Don’t give into that shit, unless you want him to be a huge asshole when he grows up.
Then, give him a hug and tell him that you love him.
Lastly, FOLLOW THROUGH WITH WHAT YOU SAY, otherwise it looks like you’re not serious and just bullshitting.
When his attitude improves, then you can begin to back off some and give him a little positive reinforcement. If he goes back to his old ways, hammer him hard.
Yeah, I know this formula isn’t PC, but if more parents would discipline their kids, then the world wouldn’t be filled with these self absorbed, me first, lazy ass, little shits.

What if there’s more to this than what everyone is thinking let me put it this way other than the swearing this sounds just like my two year old this is how it stared and we did everything from sparking to time outs to taking everything away and nothing ever worked I sought out professional help and In the end we discovered my son has High Functioning Autism and sensory processing disorder and auditory processing disorder meaning he doesn’t understand any directions it takes him 10 minutes to process words the behaviors would not go away without proper services in place no one should give advice on pushing a kid unless it is someone who knows every in and out of the story cause if I had posted this not knowing my son had development issues making him act the way he does I would have been making matters worse

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First an for most u are the mom,an him being 3 has no choice but to respect u!! DON’T ask him ,u tell him what it is!! Say what u mean an mean what u say end of story!!

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Uhm that’s learned behavior… who taught him to say that?

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Where is he learning this language or those behaviours from?! :flushed: Exhibit the behaviour you want to see, and if anyone in his life or on tv is acting out the way he is, he will mirror it. Tantrums at 3 are normal, and they will pass. At 3 they are grasping at straws to learn and process new hormones, surges of adrenaline, forming new neural pathways and learning how to deal with strong emotions. He may need alone time to process, then calmly explain after the event what was wrong. teach him tools to control his emotions. It is ok for him to feel sad, mad, or disappointed, but let him know it is not ok to take that out on everyone else. They understand way more than you think at 3. Don’t be afraid to explain your reasoning. He may surprise you.

Ignore him when he throws a fit. Literally act like you can not see or hear him until he starts acting right and talking respectfully.

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Make him face the wall or put him in the corner, naughty step, naughty chair, take away favourite toys, ground him aka no TV or whatever it is he likes. The most important thing is to NEVER EVEN GIVE IN! no matter how much they scream kick or fight you, your not there to be a friend or a buddy. Your a parent your entire role is to see seen as a image of authority and comfort. Love and discipline. They don’t have to like you. Your the parent, your word is law in your house. So forget trying to get them to like you or be your little friend. Get a grip and get that child under control. It’s called parenting NOT pandering. It will get worse before it gets better but you have to be consistent.

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Have you looked into whether his outbursts are part of a disorder? I suggest talking to his doctor and getting into a therapist for anger management. Also where is he learning this language? When kids talk like that they’ve learned it from an adult. Is someone in his life using that language? Has he seen an adult with violent outbursts? What discipline are you using? He needs to know there are consequences and his actions are not acceptable.

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where is learning those words from?

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All children learn some good and nasty shit from other kids or other people hell even movies…all these comments saying it’s not normal…it’s totally normal I help out with all my nieces and nephew it’s not the parents sometimes it’s the people around the child…if anything I would go see a family worker to help you throu everything I’ve done this with my son because he would throw tantrums in public…certain ages they go throu stuff don’t take anything personal from your child they don’t exactly know what it means trust me…my child started calling me a bad mom and telling people lies and if it weren’t for people around me he would’ve got apprehended because of judgmental people

First of all , speak to him about the new rules…no yelling on either of your parts, no swearing. Tell him he is hurting your feelings and no one wants to see that behavior from a nice boy. Explain that you will not be responding to that behavior and if it continues you will have to take away tv time. Then tell him you will not respond to any yelling or swearing from now on and then don’t! Make sure you acknowledge and praise him for appropriate words and tones and make sure you apologize if you yell or swear. When things are going well tell point out his nice the day or outing was.

He needs therapy…I’ve had 2 and occassionally cuss myself, but my kids have never cussed or talked to me like this. He needs therapy asap…

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Stop giving into this brat and don’t buy him anything. Take him to a medical doctor and he needs to see a psychiatrist as well. He needs disciplined and where is he hearing that language from?
Spank his bottom not beat but spank he needs to learn manners and that you need respect and you are in charge not him.

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He must be seeing this somewhere, and my suggestion is take him out of that environment

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Have him seen by a mental health professional

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I’m sorry but he needs an ass whooping. He needs to know mommy is boss… Keep it on the butt and don’t leave marks… Your allowed to spank your child. Spare the rod spoil the child. I used a plastic spoons (for cooking) when my babies were that age. Not every behavior calls for a spanking. We use time out, take things away, and we talk to our kids but once in a while their asses get spanked. Sorry. Not sorry! Ain’t no child running shit over this way.

There is someone around him teaching him these negative actions and words. Do you have the father in his life? Or others you leave him with

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He is seeing and hearing that stuff somewhere… It needs to be cut out. Have a list of house rules and stick to them- the most important thing in discipline is CONSISTENCY

By the way all you parents saying… Where did they learn those words from? Guess what, I am a normal mom. I cuss… And yes my kids hear it. But my kids also know if they say a “mommy daddy word” they get soap in their mouth. Guess who doesn’t curse? My kids!

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Be firm. Do not back down or show weakness. If you have to cry at the end of the day then do so when he cannot see or hear you but BE FIRM!
I’m old school so also gonna throw a butt busting in there but I respect the fact that not everyone chooses spankings and majority the time they arent necessary if you stand up to your child! Prayers for you because being a mommy is hard work!

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Kids repeat everything so if he’s swearing he heard it somewhere and honestly behaviour too. You have to be strict and not let him get away with things I have two kids one is 3 and I know its all about their environment and what you’re teaching them. Maybe he’s lacking attention I don’t know, it’s hard for us to give you advice because we have no idea what his home life is like

Some of this does sound like learned behavior, however if you have tried everything, I would possibly try getting a professional assessment from a DR. Some behaviors can be developmental also. I would seek professional help and this will also help with tips and tricks for you. Your not a bad mom as your asking for help. Remember that moms that dont care dont typically ask. Chin up he is only 3 and you have time to fix the behaviors.

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3? Omg. I’m sorry. And everybody swears. Time out. If you spank him that might make it worse. Corner and make his little ass stand there for like one min at a time. But when you get it under control more it needs to be a min for every year of age. He needs to know your boss and not him

They have to learn this behavior from somewhere :woman_shrugging:t3:

Be the parent first of all.

Second put him in his room until he calms down. Tell him when he calms down you will talk. Once he does talk to him about what he got upset about.

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Where does he hear this language?

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Yes put him in a home until he shows some respect…who did he learn this from ???

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Have him help you decide on the appropriate punishment. Losing favoritw toy for bad words. However if you’re using them you can’t hardly get upset with him. Be thw role model

Wash his fathers mouth out with soap.

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I get so sick of everyone saying professional help! I believe in mental illness, I know it exists but you people are sick in the head. There are not that many cases and it is scientifically proven to be over diagnosed because we have become lazy ass parents.

Counseling for both of you. And maybe some parenting books for classes for you to help you learn how to handle it.

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Where’s he hearing that language, shove him in his room with a lock on the outside!!!

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Good lord every one saying “he had to learn it somewhere” well guess what it’s not always the parents. The first time my daughter heard the word “fuck” was from another child in Preschool, so stop assuming things, it’s rude and judgmental

If my son cursed at me like that id pop him in the mouth. Time out for a whole day. Let him cry. Then talk to him when all is done… Sorry but not sorry. This shit is crazy

Have you had him checked for SPD symptoms? It’s actually extremely common and depending on what sensory scale he is on may actually help you to alleviate this bad behavior. My daughter is a sensory seeker and because of that she acts crazy sometimes, but I know she’s seeking for sensory input whether it be good or bad, sometimes it just takes a little bit of redirecting.

I have this same problem. Idk if it’s just my area but I called every child psychologist in a hour radius and not a single one will touch him until he’s in school ( he’s 4 ) I’ve literally sat and just dealt with it because I legit don’t know what to do. He literally lives in his room anymore and I’m so scared he’s gonna kill someone. I can not wait until July because he’ll be 5 and I can try again

Remove whatever source he’s learning this behaviour from.

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